Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Over Here Chasing Boys

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Time for an update on my dating life! My bestie Justin Anderson and I bring everyone up to speed on where things stand with Hot Man from Raya. Plus we discuss why passive aggressiveness is a buzzkill, ignoring every red flag, the pros and cons of dating outside of where you live, the conversation that made me feel like I couldn't breathe, why everyone should be the star of their show, and how I started talking to Justin's perfect guy for me.A word from our sponsors:Get 50% off your first order when you go to hiyahealth.com/HONESTSign up for $1-per-month trial period at shopify.com/cavallari, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com/cavallari now to grow your business — no matter what stage you're inGo to Quince.com/honest for free shipping on your order and 365-day returnsGo to diviofficial.com/HONEST or enter HONEST at checkout for 20% off your first order.Go to BLUENILE.com today and save up to 50% on stunning jewelry already priced below traditional retail!Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy Humidifier purchase today with Canopy's filter subscription. Use code HONEST at checkout to save an additional 10% off your Canopy purchase!Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I am your host kristen cavallari and y'all's favorite is back justin anderson i'm back baby and we're starting over because kristen just forgot to press record i swear to god all of the logistics with recording a podcast will make me lose my mind and we started off so good like that chemistry was strong we had a really good intro

it was a great first date i know and then i looked down i'm like it's not recording recording okay so here we are again let's do this again so where we left you guys is my first date with hot man from raya and you guys we were just joking because i need a daily podcast at this point to keep up with all of the men in my life and what is happening in the romantic world. Because so much happens. And it's been what? Three weeks. There's multiple people that I'm going to be telling you about right now. And us going through following your notes of what happened for the last three weeks.

We're like adding things in. We're like fighting before. I'm like, that did not happen that way, Kristen. She's like, yes, it did. So I literally have notes, you guys, because it's a lot to keep up with. But we just kind of went through everything and we think we have a good handle on it all. So we've got a good handle on what's happened here. It's ridiculous.

So where I left you guys, just to jog everyone's memory, is my first date with Hotman from Raya. Great date. I wake up in the morning to a text from him saying, you should stay, change your flight. And he sent me a breakfast burrito, a smoothie and a wellness shot, which was very sweet. So burrito girl, she loves it. I love a burrito. All you have to do is buy her a burrito. I had no idea that was the way to my heart until I got one. So, and then again, you know, we start

talking when I wake up and he is again, telling me to change my flight and I go. Sad news. I'm at the airport. OK, so and we've talked about this. I think that he probably took that like, oh, OK, like I shouldn't want to stay because I guarantee the night before I was like, yeah, I'll change my flight. Yeah. When you're having fun and you were drinking, you were like. A hundred percent. And so if someone said that to me, I would definitely take that like,

OK, I don't think that they're that into me. That's fair to say. Yeah. They were saying change your flight. And then all of a sudden they were at the airport and they were leaving. Like, but I mean, that's also the reality. Like you're a mom. I had to get home to my kids. Yeah.

Like you have responsibilities. I wasn't getting my kids back until the next day, but they were texting me asking to come to my house a day early. And I think if you don't have kids, you don't really understand that. Like I can, I can appreciate that. But like if my kids are asking me to come to my house early and I hadn't seen them in eight days, which is longer than normal. Yeah. I was like, I want to have my babies. So anyways, I go home and then I don't hear from hot man from Raya for like five days. Like he took that possibly.

Possibly. And thought that you weren't into him. But rather than just saying, hey, Kristen, I'm getting the impression that or is this because or even just trying to text me to be like,

how are you? And like seeing, like feeling it out. No text message came in for days after we had a great time. Yeah. And we're doing that thing that friends do. Like, why do you think he's not texting? Is this weird? And I'm like, yeah, it's absolutely weird because you guys had a good date in L.A. Now you're back in Nashville. Like you would say anything to someone that you cared about. You'd be like, how's your week going? Or like, I just want to say, like,

I had such a good time with you this past weekend. I can't wait to see you again. Anything. You're begging me to change my flight and then I don't hear from you. It's like what? But again, I do feel like. OK, so anyway, so I'm at your house. We're kind of like dissecting the whole thing. And then I'm just like, fuck it. Like I'm going to text him. Right. Because we're doing this new thing where I'm like, I can show a guy that I'm into them. I can do all of these things. I'm like, fuck it. I'll text him. I text him. He responds immediately. There's great back and forth. Right?

Right. Okay. So then, so then, is that accurate? You tried to convince me. No, because I'm just not a super fan of this whole situation. You've never liked him.

And also my thing is like, if a guy took, like, let's say he did take it like I wasn't into him. Well, I still want a guy who's like, but I'm going to give it one more shot and just see. Yes. And also like you go on a first date with someone,

you have a really, really good time. Like, I'm sorry. Don't you want a guy who like really follows through, tries to make it happen? Yeah. You know, it's like I think about when Scoot and I first dated, like how hard I came at him. I was like, I want this man.

Like, I'm going to be with him. That's what I want. You know, Scoot was a lot younger, so he held back and he was like nervous. Like I had to really make the effort. And 10 years later, we're still together. And I want to pursue me like that. Yeah, it should be like it should be. Yeah. So, OK. But anyways, so we're now we're back in. Right. We're like making plans for when I come back to LA, I think two weeks later or something. And now there's a great cadence of texting. He called me on the phone one night. Like we're joking around. We're having fun. Like that's all great. So I'm supposed to go to LA on a Friday and the week leading up to that, because by the way, I'm still active on Raya, especially because

there are these little red flags hanging over me with hot man from Raya. So I'm like, I'm still active on Raya, especially because there are these little red flags hanging over me with hot man from Raya. So I'm like, I'm not going to put all of my eggs in this basket. Right. So in the midst of all of this, I have now matched with a man from Pittsburgh, which they're both from Pittsburgh, which is really fucking weird. I was like, what? They all went to the same college too. Like the whole thing is like a little crazy, but that's okay. Pittsburgh is my spot, I guess. So I matched with this guy. We'll call him Mike. And he's so cute. And we're doing all of these voice notes. Oh, I said that on the last podcast that we had been voice noting. I had been voice noting with someone and I loved that. Okay. So that was, that was Mike from Pittsburgh and it's going great. So now I'm like, OK, I'm really excited to

meet Mike. So I'm supposed to go to L.A. on Friday. And I think the difference is, is because you and Mike have really good back and forth. There's like it's we were matching each other's energy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Which hot man from Ryan, I were. But it like took me initiating. It was like there's like anytime there's like a little hang up. I'm like, that to me is a sign at first. Yeah, I know. But I feel like you're giving him a lot of passes because he's hot. You're right.

Here's the thing, though. If he wasn't hot guy from right, like you would have ditched it immediately. And that's the only thing that just throws me off a little bit from the sidelines is I'm like, because I think communication is everything. It is. And I get that people can like get to know each other and communication could get better. But like the kind of passive aggressive waiting to text all that stuff. I'm just like, I'm over it.

No, I agree with you. And if he wasn't cute, it would just be done. A hundred percent. Yeah. Hot man from Raya reminds me of who I would go for in my early 20s. A hundred percent. I think that's why I have such like a reaction to it. I'm fully aware of what's happening here.

Okay, well, I'm glad you are. Don't yell at me. I'm glad we talked it through. Right. But so that's why I'm also not just focusing on him and putting everything. Yeah, yeah. Right. Okay.

No, and you've been very good about that too. Like, and I think that we even talked about this when you first started, right? It's like, you should talk to lots of people. Like you're, we're doing this thing too, where it's like like let's like pump the brakes, have conversations with lots of people, feel out what feels the best. Like you don't have to put your everything into anyone. Right. Right. Right. So that's what I'm doing. So another red flag with hot man from Raya is he's a little passive aggressive with me about other guys. For example, our first date,

because I initiated, I DM'd him. So he, when we were talking about it, he's like, I just wondered how many other guys you sent the same DM to. So that's, and I'm like, really? Like, we're going to play this game? But okay, I ignore it because that's what you do with a hot man from Raya.

Is ignore all red flags. Every red flag, I'm like, oh, he didn't mean it. That's how women get into so much trouble. So dumb. Okay, so now I'm home, right? And we've got a good text cadence going. It's all fine and great. He's calling me on the phone.

Like, it's great. But there's a Saturday, the Saturday before I'm supposed to go to LA. And he's like, what are you doing today? I'm like, oh, Camden had a baseball game and now we're just kind of hanging out. He's like, oh, so wholesome. He goes, as you're swiping right with all of the Nashville guys on Raya. And I go, I haven't matched with one person from Raya. And yeah, I haven't matched with one Nashville person. Thank you very much. And he goes, really? Because if I were you, I'd be trying to match with all of

the country musicians so that they could write a song about how you broke their heart. So now testing the waters, like trying to like see if you're talking to other people, which again, just ask, just say it, like say, Hey, are you talking to other people? If that's a thing, but you have every right to talk. Also, we've gone on one date. Like you actually don't have a right to ask me, but again, you would never think to ask him who he's talking to on right. He would never. It's not your business. No.

And that like when a guy starts doing that right away, I think personally, that's a little bit controlling. That's a little bit projection. It's possess. It's projection, too. That means that he has lots of people going on in his phone because he's doing it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So I'm pissed now. Right. So I go, I already did all of that pre-riot. And this is what happens with Kristen. It's like takes one thing. I'm like, oh, shit. Here we go. Don't fuck with me.

Are you kidding me? So and he was he was at a wedding and he had sent me a photo of himself. Oh, I love this. In the mirror. OK. Of him in his suit. And I send it to Justin. I'm like,

look how hot he is. And Justin goes. She's like, he looks so hot. He's going to a wedding or whatever. And she like sends me a picture. And I immediately look at the picture.

He's in a bathroom. I'm like, Kristen, there's a curling iron in the bathroom. So literally, Justin texts me that I didn't notice the curling iron.

At the same time that Hotman is giving me shit about the men on Raya, Justin's going, there's a curling iron in At the same time that Hotman is giving me shit about the men on Raya, Justin's going, there's a curling iron in the photo. So now I'm like, well, maybe we should talk about you and other women. And he goes, nothing to worry about here. You know, cool as a cucumber. So I circle the curling iron in the photo and I send it to him. This is crazy. So stupid. I was like, really? Because there's a curling iron in this photo.

And he immediately goes, that's not mine. I go, no shit. And he then sends me. No, it's not mine. No shit, short hair. Like I think you're curling your hair. No shit, Buzzcat. We know you're not curling your hair.

Oh, really? You fucking idiot. So then he sends me. He was staying in a house with all of his friends. He sent it immediately of like all of his friends hung over from the wedding on the couch. There was a couple of girls and a couple of guys. It's like it's one of my friends. And I was like, OK, but even if that's true, the whole vibe changed. Yeah. I don't like when you first start talking to someone when you're dating and they start asking about other people and do it in a passive aggressive way. Because I really feel like it's no one's business.

When you first start dating someone, like don't ask them if they're talking to other people. Yeah, like I don't think I don't like that. And by the way, even if we get really jealous later to be confident, like that reminds me, honestly, of a couple of my exes. It kind of triggers me a lot but even if we'd been on those things really stand out when you've had a past relationship yeah like it hits you quick like I'm so turned off by that stuff like it makes me like I can't like I can't do that again no never but even if we've gone on eight dates and we actually need to have that

conversation don't you can't do it in a passive-aggressive way you can't be around the bush just be like hey Kristen I want to talk to you about something like don't think that I'm crazy but this is important to me or maybe I've been burned in the past and like I want you to know that like I want to move forward with this like are you seeing other people you're allowed to have that conversation you can flat out ask it but don't don't do the passive aggressive stuff that's like so it's immature it's immature yeah I don't yeah I don't yeah to me now I'm like hot man from right especially for someone like you like you are so up front and it's so it's like that stuff is exhausting i can't i literally can't do it and it just makes you think they're not hot exactly and you're

emotionally immature and that to me is like such a big deal now again because i've had that i can't do it again so okay so truly you guys when i tell you like the whole vibe changed, I think on both sides, I think for him as well. But even with that, him asking you about other guys and that was kind of bothering you, whatever. Then he sends the photo and there's a curling iron in the photo. And that's kind of funny. Like whatever he could be like, it's like a funny story. But even that could be a really good conversation.

Like he could be like, I get why you pointed out. That's so funny. It's actually my friends or whatever. And but the fact that then he shut down to me is just like okay this is gonna be drama like this is drama already you've hung out one time major so I don't talk to him the rest of the week I think we we know I think we texted a little bit the next day no you didn't I looked at your phone is that true yeah you Yeah. You guys stopped talking for days. Then you came to my- But we talked, okay. We talked a little bit that day after the curling iron incident, but then it was nothing. But it was fizzling out like that

day. Like it was kind of just like short answers or whatever, where before it was hot and heavy. Yeah. And then he went quiet for days. Yeah. And remember you came over to my house again that week before you went to LA. because my flight got delayed. So this is what happened. So that happened on a Saturday. The following Friday, I'm supposed to go to LA. I wake up and my flight gets delayed. So I'm Justin lives closer to the airport. So I was like, can I come over while I wait for my flight? In the same time, hot man from Raya texted me. And by the way, we're supposed to hang out that night. We're supposed to go to dinner, the two of us. And then the next day we were supposed to go to dinner with all of

my friends for my friend's birthday. So, but there's no set dinner plan for Friday, which leading up to it, I was like, is this guy fucking serious? Like, so are we, I was like, I don't even know if we're hanging out at this point. Right. So that morning I get a text. Oh, so frustrating. I just found out I have COVID I'm going home to rest. So I'm like, I go feel better. So now I want to make sure that this is like played out right. So days leading up to this Friday, you've heard nothing at this point. And that's why, because you even said to me, like, we don't have a plan for Friday. And I get there. We're supposed to hang out Friday night. And I was like, just wait, see if he like message you like, hey, I found this restaurant we should go to or like whatever,

like this is what time we should meet up. Said nothing the day you were flying to L.A. And by the way, you were already at this point. Like, I don't even care if I was like really into Mike now, but he hadn't said anything. Now it's Friday morning. You're flying to L.A. And that's when he texted you the covid thing. And I immediately was like, you wait till the last minute and then you say that. And I think everyone uses COVID as an excuse anyways. But if you're feeling sick, days leading up to it, if you're feeling sick and it's Thursday or it's Wednesday, you would text the person you're crazy about and be like, hey, I'm supposed to see you Friday and I'm starting to feel sick. Like I'm freaking out to prep that person because waiting till the last

minute, I was like, that's so weird. The fact that there was no plan to, I'm like, obviously that was an excuse. So I am like, fuck this guy. So now my flight gets canceled. So I'm like, well, they kept pushing it back.

Like the flight never made it. The flight's going to get canceled. So now I'm texting Pittsburgh Mike and I'm going, Hey, my flight to LA got canceled because now I'm like, fuck it. I'm not even going to go to LA. I was supposed to go to a cool event.

I was supposed to do some stuff, but I was just like, I'm over here chasing boys, you know, your priority. My priorities are men at the moment. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to hang out with Mike. So I'm like, hey, my flight to L.A. got canceled. Would you want to meet in New York for a night? Would you want?

As she's sitting at my house, she's trying to figure this out. And I'm like, you are batshit crazy. But like, I love it because I'm also like you're at a point in your life where like, just do whatever excites you. You know what it is, too. It's like when I don't have my kids, I don't like actually staying home because it makes me miss them more just being in my house. And I had plans to be out of town. So I'm like, I'm going out of town. Yeah, your bags are packed. I'm going somewhere. Your dogs are being taken care of. The kids are being taken care of. I'm out of here, man.

I'm doing something. And you were like asking me, like, do you think that's crazy? And I'm like, no, I think that's so fun. Like, that's what life is about. Like, you've been having a really good thing going with this guy. So like, and you have the means to do it in the time. Just fly up there. Yeah, I think this is fun.

Like, I'm in a really fun dating era right now. And I am at a point where like, I don't want to talk to someone for three weeks. Like, let me go and meet you and see if there's something here. Yeah. That's what you really do. I was trying to figure out because I don't want to waste my time talking to someone. You do move fast with them because I do because I want to know. Yeah, no, I love that. That's why I do that because I'm over the texting phase. You don't really get to know someone on a text, I don't think. So I want to know if this is worth my time and energy. And this one got sped up because you guys were voice noting a lot back and forth. It's like you feel like you know the person you guys. And I did this with someone else. You have to voice note before a first date or FaceTime. I'm down with that too. But I think you really then, you know.

And I was really excited about Mike. Really excited. So anyways. I was too. He was like, I like really liked him. You really were pushing for him. So we land on, he had some stuff going on. So he couldn't travel anywhere.

So I was like, I'll come to Pittsburgh. Never been. I'm excited to go. So I go to Pittsburgh for the weekend. And I got a hotel. The first night we went, we got a drink. Then we went to dinner and then we went, had so much fun. Kissed him.

Really great kisser. Like it was a perfect night. It was so much fun. Okay. So the next day we went and we played indoor miniature golf. We ate and then we went to the other side of Pittsburgh where you can overlook the whole city, which was really cool. We got tacos.

We drank. It was it was really fun. It's really fun. Like immediate chemistry. You felt comfortable with them. Immediate. Yeah. So when I'm in Pittsburgh that Sunday, so two days after Hotman from Raya told me he

had COVID, I'm sitting there with Mike and is calling me and sending me text messages. And I'm like, oh, my God, which you fucking called. I said it. I said when he used the he did the COVID thing. I'm like, he's going to think about this and he's going to start hitting you up really hard again. And then sure enough, he did. When you were in Pittsburgh, he started hitting you up again because he whatever happened, what happened. And then so you started talking to him. Well, so what happened was obviously I was with Mike on Sunday, so I didn't respond.

Monday at the airport, I texted him and what he said was, I'm feeling better. I'm like just now coming out of the fog, man, that was brutal. Like I felt like shit, blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, maybe he really did have COVID. And he was like, how long are you in town for? So I'm like, my flight ended up getting canceled, so I didn't come, blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, maybe he really did have COVID. And he was like, how long are you in town for? So I'm like, my flight ended up getting canceled. So I didn't come, blah, blah, blah. So there's like this back and forth. And then I just went, I'm going to, I'm not responding. So I ghosted him. I just fucking ghosted hot man from riot. Cause now I really like Mike, right? This one's for all of my parents out there. I'm really excited to talk to you guys about Haya. I'm sure you've heard me mention it before and for good reason, because I love these kids vitamins. Did you guys know that typical children's vitamins are basically just candy in disguise?

They're filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy junk that growing kids should just never eat. That's why Haya was created, the pediatrician-approved, super-powered, chewable vitamin. While most children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk. Yet, it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. My kids have been using Hia for, I guess it's been about a year now. I've never had an issue getting them to eat them. All of us parents know it's really important to get as many vitamins and minerals in our kids as we possibly can, especially as they get older, when they're eating at school now and they're coming home with different snacks

and their diets are maybe not everything that we want them to be. At least that's my situation. So I have peace of mind when my kids are eating these, knowing that they're getting all of the nutrients they need. And you guys, I've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best-selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash honest. This deal is not available on their regular website. So go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H dot com slash honest and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Okay, guys, I'm really excited to talk to you about Shopify. I get asked all the time about launching a business and what to do and where to start.

And I'm lucky because when I launched Uncommon James, I had a friend tell me about Shopify. Shopify is an online business that makes everything so incredibly easy. Six years later, I still use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. From the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to the, did we just hit a million orders stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling a scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere from their all-in-one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system. Wherever and whatever you're selling, Shopify has got you

covered. Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout, 36% better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms. And sell more with less effort thanks to Shopify Magic, your AI-powered all-star. Guys, I can't say enough good stuff about Shopify. I'm telling you, from the very, very beginning stages to launching Uncommon James out of my house to now having about to be four brick and mortars and a booming e-commerce business,

they have been with us every step of the way and they have been able to keep up with our growing demands ofcommerce business. They have been with us every step of the way and they have been able to keep up with our growing demands of the business. I always joke that my Shopify app is my most used app on the store because to this day, I'm constantly checking orders every single day. I just am. I don't think I will ever stop. Sign up for a $1 per month trial at shopify.com slash Cavallari, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash Cavallari now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Cavallari. Okay, fashionistas, you're going to want to listen up. I love gifting, but you guys know it can

really add up. That's why this holiday season I'm shopping quince. Quince is my go-to place for luxury essentials at affordable prices for everyone on my list, including me. Quince offers a range of high quality items with prices within reach, like 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50, washable silk tops and dresses, cotton sweaters, and comfy pants. All Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. That's why I'm giving the gift of Quince's buttery soft cashmere to my nearest and dearest this year. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical,

and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. What is not to love? I've gotten a couple pieces from them recently. I got a very cozy sweater. I got some really nice tailored pants and I got a really cozy scarf. So I really can't say enough good stuff. You guys are going to absolutely love these pieces as much as me. Get affordable luxury for everyone on your list with Quince. Go to quince.com slash honest for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash honest to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash honest. So and then I went home. I was there for two days and it was great. OK, so Mike comes into

town Thursday. So you guys hit it off really well. And then in Kristen Cavallari form and fashion, she said, okay, come to Nashville now. No, you want to know what? That Nashville trip was already booked. For him? Yeah. So what happened was, because I was supposed to be in LA,

but because Mike and I were talking and I liked him, I was like, well, I get home from LA Wednesday. So you could come. She's just setting her calendar. Her calendar had been set. Oh my God. you're giving it all away what does your next month look like let's look through it i hope every guy i've ever gone on a date with in the last two months does not listen to this

podcast by the way even if they did like you're just being very honest you have every right to do all of this stuff like you are looking to have fun a and to meet, like, you're just being very honest. You have every right to do all of this stuff. I know, that's the thing, I do. You are looking to have fun, A, and to meet somebody special. And you're going to try everything that you need to until you meet that person. Because by the way, guys do this. So why can't I? They 100% do. They 100% do.

And once the right guy shows up, like, it's going to change everything. And it will. And the thing is, with me in the past, when I like a guy, I do put all of my eggs in that basket. So I am trying thing is with me in the past, when I like a guy, I do put all of my eggs in that basket. So I am trying this thing now where it's like, no, I should be talking to multiple people and going out with multiple people ultimately to figure out what I want. Yeah.

So, OK, it's crazy that you have to travel for it. But I think that's just because like of where you live and like whatever. Yeah. Like I think if you were in New York or L.A., it'd be a different situation. But you're in a place like Nashville so hard to date. There's no one around. There's no one around here. Also there's pros and cons to having to date outside of where you live. I, I think one thing is you can figure it out pretty quickly because you're now having to spend a lot of time together. Even like my Pittsburgh trip, for example, that is a lot

of time for essentially a first date. It's like two straight days with someone of like all day, all night, like having to entertain someone. That's a lot. Yeah. And I don't like doing that here, which we'll get into in a minute. But OK, so his Nashville trip was already booked. The Pittsburgh trip was like a last minute, like, hey, I kind of want to see you before if you can do it sort of thing. So we did. And it was great. So it was like, great. Still come to Nashville. And he was coming on a Thursday. I was getting my kids back on Friday for literally three weeks straight. And we had a birthday party that Saturday. So because we had a birthday party, I was like, I will get, it was a friend's 40th birthday party

I will get a babysitter which I don't normally do and I did because I had my kids for a lot longer than I normally Do so I was like they'll understand I had them going to a preds game Like it was like all a done deal and they didn't care. They were fine. So Mike was gonna stay for the party as well. So I said friday you're on your own I get my kids back, you know, you're gonna have to figure that out and. And then Saturday, obviously, like I'm going to have to go home at a decent hour because I have my kids. OK, so we go out Thursday night and had we had we had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. I think what happens for me is a couple of things. When I have someone on my turf, I know immediately if I like you or not, because

why do you think that is? I think it's like, cause it becomes real. And I think because Mike and I really were into each other and there was a lot of chemistry, the conversations were moving very quickly. And he had said to me that Thursday night that he was really happy at one point that I said I would potentially have another kid. And that conversation made me start to feel like I couldn't breathe. And he asked me to be his girlfriend that night. I didn't know that. I didn't tell you that he asked me to be his girlfriend. No, like with a ring?

I wish. Yeah, he asked me to be his girlfriend. You skipped that part with me. So what I said was, because we'd been drinking, I said, can you ask me tomorrow when we're sober? I was like, I can't. What? Also, to me, that's a cop out to said was because we had been drinking I said can you ask me tomorrow when we're sober I was like I can't what also that to me that's a cop out to do it

when we've been drinking oh yeah I just didn't know adults did that I thought that was like a junior high thing like will you be my girlfriend I think it was like

I think there was like a conversation of like right right I'm not talking to anybody else okay that's good so he had that conversation yes but I was like

a little soon a little soon well right so I woke up the next day and i was just like this is a lot because you guys have to remember i haven't had like a boyfriend girlfriend thing since before my marriage so in almost 14 years i love my freedom i love my independence and the thought of a guy encroaching on that, it still makes me, I don't like it. Yeah. And that conversation, my takeaway from this situation with Mike is that I am not ready for a relationship or at least not soon. And I do not want to have another kid. So I think like all good things I'm learning, this is all good takeaway. But I said,

do I send him a voice note? And I said, Hey, I really I need to like think about our conversation because actually in the morning he did ask me to be his girlfriend, which I'm like, we're like still kind of drunk, but again, kind of a cop out. But I was like, I need the weekend to just like think about things. And I didn't after it was like sitting with me. I just I didn't like it. And I will say this. I really respect the fact that he had a very honest conversation with me about where he is at in his life. And I mostly mean financially, but I also mean he is he's an entrepreneur and he's just trying to get a business up and running, which is you have to grind. That's a great business, by the way. He's such entrepreneur and he's just trying to get a business up and running, which is you have to grind. A great business, by the way.

He's such a great guy. He's a great guy. A really great guy. So handsome. So sweet. But we went to dinner that night before the party. And I feel like I- It's a Saturday now.

Yeah. So Saturday before the party, we went to dinner and I met him. And I kind of immediately knew, loved him. I think he's so nice, so good looking and everything. But I just knew I could feel that energy. Like he just felt, even though you guys were like the same age, he felt like we're not, I'm older than him. Well, I know, but I didn't know if you wanted to say that, but I think that's like, we are in different places in our lives. Wait, is he a lot younger than you? He's like 31. Oh, I thought he was like one year younger.

No, he's 30. And that's now also my takeaway is I can't date someone in their early 30s. No, see, because he felt really young to me. Yeah, because he is. Just his conversations. But he was so nice. The craziest thing is then we go to that party or whatever and you have to get home for your kids.

I think so because he is younger and he's just starting a business, which is all encompassing. I've done that. And I'm on the other side of it. We have said many times, I need someone who's in the same phase of life as me, which is I'm not trying to grind anymore. I do have a lot of free time and I like to travel. I have a certain lifestyle and I really respect Mike. And I really appreciate him for having a conversation with me saying, I know that you're used to a certain lifestyle and I don't have the means for it right now, which I really respect. And I had a real conversation with him about how

I dated someone who I paid for everything and it made me end up resenting him. And to me, I support three kids. I can't support a man. I just can't. There's no way. And it's not that like, I don't need to, I don't need a man who makes more money than me. Even just the short amount of time that we had known each other. Like you could really, I guess, chalk it up to like two dates. Let's say he didn't have the means for that. Like he was feeling it. Yeah. And so the end of the day, I do think that's a very real thing. And I also think like he wanted kids. I can't have more kids. I felt the age when he came to Nashville. I felt the difference. And even just like him, I could tell immediately when I walked up to the table, really? No, with your energy.

Like I just like looked at you and I just like knew because we hadn't texted that whole day really about anything of substance. And so I got to dinner and I walked up and I could just see it all over your face. Because when I am when I get over someone or I'm just like done, I'm like, I'm done. And I can't fake it. And not like you didn't like him, but I could tell that you were like checked out. Yeah, I was. So what happened was a Saturday night with this 40th birthday party and we all go to dinner beforehand. And because I had my kids, I had to leave as soon as my kids were at the hockey game. So as soon as the hockey game was over, I had to leave so that I could beat my kids home.

So I was only at this party for an hour and Mike stayed. Mike stayed with you and Scoot and all of our friends and had he had a great time, by the way, which is so cool. Like, I love that about him. He's so fabulous. And it was so cute because like I was like a Tasmanian devil that I like talking to everyone at the party. But I kept looking over and he was like completely holding his own, talking to everyone. Him and Scoot were like together most of the night and kind of walking around talking to everyone. And I was I remember keep being like, wow, that's really cool that he's like he's hanging out. You know, I agree. I probably would have left the party. No, I wouldn't have. You would have stayed. Most people would. Yeah. You know, like he's such a good, solid guy. And I think that like it's important

to say that in case somehow he hears it. Well, and I think, yeah, like I really I think he's a great guy. I have nothing negative to say about him. I really don't. But I just knew I knew there wasn't a future and I'm not going to waste my time. I'm not going to waste his time. Yeah. So the next day. OK, so I go to bed. Right. OK. So Sunday morning, I knew I had to end things with him. And I wake up to a a picture from Hotman from Raya with a mutual friend. So I go, oh, my God, I thought that I responded to you because now I know you're a player. I really am. Because now I know I'm ending things with Mike. So I'm like, maybe I'll pick this back up with Hotman from Red.

I wish I blocked his number. So I, by the way, if anyone ever says this to you guys, they're full of shit. I go, oh my God, I thought I responded to you. But I wrote out a response and I never sent it. You did that to me this morning. No, I didn't. You fucker. God.

That actually, for real though, that has happened to me. So I kind of take that back. You really did though send me a voice note this morning. You're like, I forgot to send You fucker. God. That actually, for real though, that has happened to me. So I kind of take that. You really did though send me a voice note this morning. You're like, I forgot to send this last night. Literally, you did this this morning. I sent it,

but it didn't go through and I saw it this morning. That's true. I believe you. You're not trying to date me. I know it's different. This is my move with everybody. You do it with your kids. Sorry, I thought that's different. This is my move with everybody. You do it with your kids.

Sorry, I thought that went through. Oh, my God. OK, so he's like, oh, I thought I lost you forever. Whatever. So he calls me. I kind of love that he does call me because he's a player and players know how to really work it. So but he calls me and he was like, I was really sick. He's like, I had COVID and bronchitis and I

swear to god I could hear it in his voice still I I do believe he was sick I do and I I told him straight up I go I thought you were lying to me about COVID he goes why would I lie to you about that I was like well I don't know because I was like things got weird no say it well I was like the fact that you guys were supposed to hang out on that Friday night, he didn't text you for days. Then all he says basically is I have COVID. It was very simple.

It wasn't like. This is so frustrating. I'm like, you're lying. Yes, but also like, I don't know, again, like checking in with someone over the weekend, like, hey, I just,

I don't also say and I want you to know that like I really, but I really want to see you all that kind of stuff. Like, because I was just right now in my head, like when you brought Hotman up again, I was like in my head, I was like, why do I really want to see you all that kind of stuff like because I was just right now in my head like when you brought

hot man up again I was like in my head I was like why do I not like him so much and I was like maybe am I making this up but we have to remember that all of this

communication has been so bad and your number one thing is the communication stuff like I will talk to you about guys till I'm dead

like we'll be doing this when we're in our 90s right we say this all the time this will be our conversation forever but like I do want to get to a point where like you start having like good communication stuff and when they when they are bad

it's like just stop it those aren't gonna get better you can't teach a grown man how to communicate no you can't and I do think that's obviously the biggest red flag with him I haven't met hot guy from Raya. And like, so I was sitting here right now. I'm like, why do I not like him so much? But it's all about communication.

Like, I don't want to hear you frustrated anymore about communication with guys. I agree. We should be beyond that. Well, that's why to me, it feels like he's got a million girls probably because. I think so. One hundred percent, which he can. He has every right to but don't give me a hard time about it

don't give you a hard time and also I'm not playing that game yeah like I'm not gonna be one of a bunch you know what I mean yeah I want a guy who's like all in on me yeah and you know you deserve that exactly yeah like I think someone should meet you and they give up on all the other women no 100% like immediately like right away no I know like why are you talking to

anyone else but by the way that's what all of my exes did. Yeah, because people are obsessed with you. I know. And they should be. That's what brought you off here. Actually, that's what every, that's, and I'm not trying

to sound like a cocky motherfucker, you guys, but that's what everyone has done except for two people in my life, Hotman from Raya and Down Yonder. Oh, God.

I wish we could talk about Down Yonder. That'd be so fun. That'd be groundbreaking. Oh, my gosh. That would be press. Call the press. That would be everywhere. Can I sing one of his songs right now?

No. But that's why, like, when a guy doesn't make me their everything, it throws me off. I don't like it. Yeah, because you're used to it. It stands out to you now. I think you should be the star of every situation.

I should. I want to be the star of every situation. Everyone should be. It's not just me. Like any girl out there listening, you should have every guy obsessed with you and only wanting to be with you. Because you were kind of questioning.

You're like, yeah, I don't want to sound like an app. I'm sure some people are like, oh, you're so full of yourself. It has nothing to do with that. No, because you know your worth. And also like, and you know what you're looking for. Like you, if you end up with one person, like you want to be the center of their world.

You want it to move in that direction. Yeah. Like you don't want some guy who's like, kind of like, oh, I'll text her tomorrow. Yeah, no, I'm not that girl. Sorry, you can't do that to me. Like you aren't at all. And the funny thing is,

it's like lately with all these, because a lot of guys are like that now. I just think with the way that the world is. Yeah, social media and dating apps. And the funny thing is, it's like lately with all these because a lot of guys are like that now. I just think with the way that the world is social media and age, because let's face it, if a guy is in his later 30s and he's single and he's still single

and he's never been married, he's probably had these issues forever. It's probably at that point on him. Like you've been married. You have kids. You're looking for the next chapter in your life.

It's not going to be one of those guys. Can I tell you something? That's what my issue is with him. Okay. You're going to die. I haven't told you this stuff. Some of the shit that he says to me, he's home right now from Thanksgiving.

But we were talking about his family and like the women in his family. And he's like, you would fit in really well with my family because the women in my family were on the show. I'm like, it's like those kinds of things. I'm like, how many girls are you saying that to? You know what I'm saying? Or like, no, I think you could be the one girl that he says that to. But I think that to me, it's such bullshit. Really? It's so funny how you guys see things so differently. Because of his actions.

Or you think it's because maybe I am that girl. And so he's intimidated by me because we've had that conversation, too. That's more what I see it. Yeah, I think he's a because he's insecure. So I intimidate him. I feel so bad. No, but I mean he's a because he's insecure. So I intimidate him. I feel so bad. No, but I mean, just a lot of those things. I feel like they're passive aggressive and I think they're insecure. And I think a lot of things that he says that we're not even like saying right now, it feels like a test. I agree. I don't like you think even like saying that as a test of like you'd fit in really well with my family no i think that it's kind of saying that like he's recognizing that you're a powerful like woman without that intimidates him too i think he probably is used to kind of calling the shots or like i just think

also we shouldn't be questioning this anything he's just weird it's weird communication it's just like weird so that's my thing is like if we have to have this many conversations about a guy, he's not because the some of the crazy ones in the past three years that we've kind of like talked everything through, it's like, you know, from day one, you know, that stuff just gets worse. So that's what I'm saying with hot guy for right. If he wasn't hot, you wouldn't be talking to him. But even beyond that, it's like, let's just kind of let's call this what it is. I agree. I definitely agree with you. So I think I think that's it. I think just like after some of our last conversations and stuff and I know what's good for me and what's not, I need to be done with hot man. With that said, though, I think it's fine if you go to L.A. and

you want to hang out with him one more time or whatever. But I'm kind of sick of you giving this much time during the week, like the texting and like us talking about it back and forth. I want to spend that talking about people who might, might have a future. Right. So I agree with you. And so, and we also kind of love a little bit of the drama because we love like

dissecting situations. Like we think we're like, this isn't the end of the world. You're going to be heartbroken if it isn't him. Like we kind of just like, cause I already know it's not going to be him. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like most moms have experienced a little bit of hair loss postpartum. That's extremely common. And I feel like we don't talk about it enough. Well, if you've gone through that or somebody else, Divi is good for those with hair shedding or thinning due to stress, postpartum, like I just said, menopause or other medical related conditions, scalps with a lot of product or oil buildup, anyone dealing with dry scalp, those who wear tight hairstyles or extensions, and anyone looking to start a healthy scalp routine. When lifestyle blogger, Danny Austin went through an emotional hair loss journey, she took it upon herself to research and learn about

the importance of and routines behind scalp health. It was this exploration that led to the creation of Divi's first product, a scalp serum that improves the appearance of breakage, nourishes hair follicles and removes product and oil buildup. They have some awesome ingredients, including copper tripeptide one, which is a small protein composed of three amino acids, which are protein building blocks to facilitate a clean and hydrated scalp barrier. Has caffeine, which helps promote thicker and healthier looking hair. Tea tree oil, which works to reduce and prevent excess oil buildup on the scalp and in the hair follicle. And they have amino acids, which help to strengthen hair, fight frizz, and reduce breakage

for overall hair health. Plus it has hyaluronic acid, which nourishes and hydrates the scalp for a clean environment for healthy hair. Divi is not just for those experiencing hair loss. It can be used by men and women of all ages who want to start or continue their scalp care journey. Do you want to take back control of your hair and scalp health and do it with clean science-backed ingredients? Well, I have a special offer for the Let's Be Honest audience. Go to diviofficial.com slash honest or enter honest at checkout for 20% off your first order. That's use D I V I official.com slash honest for 20% off your first order. As you guys know, I have jewelry brand uncommon James, but that price point is always under $100. So that's the only reason why I'm okay talking to

you guys about blue Nile, because sometimes we just have to splurge. The holidays are so busy, you might not get a moment to take it all in. Then before you know it, it's the holiday season again. So ask yourself this. While you've been busy prepping for celebrations and getting the perfect gift for everyone on your list, have you thought about what you'd like to gift yourself? Make this year one you'll remember with classic elegance from Blue Nile, the original online jeweler. Blue Nile has been around since 1999 and boasts some of the highest quality standards in the industry. They offer thousands of diamonds, all independently

graded and ethically sourced. And Blue Nile's fine jewelry is priced well below traditional retail. Plus, their shopping experience is a delight with non-commissioned jewelry experts on hand 24-7 via phone or chat to answer questions about any piece and help you find what you're looking for. Blue Nile offers peace of mind with each purpose with a diamond-priced match guarantee and 30-day returns. And your purchase won't just elevate your look this holiday season. It'll be a brilliant addition to your collection for years to come. Go to bluenile.com today and save up to 50% on stunning jewelry already priced below traditional retail.

That's up to 50% site-wide at bluenile.com. That's bluenile.com. Okay, let's chat about Canopy, you guys. Did you know that skincare experts and dermatologists have long touted the benefits of increased indoor humidity for healthy, glowing skin? And a not-so-fun fact, having dry air in your environment can begin wreaking havoc on the skin in as little as 30 minutes. For a long time, I've been using a humidifier for my skin, sleep, and just overall wellness. The problem, well, traditional models are notorious for being bulky, ugly, moldy, and impossible to maintain. That's where Canopy Humidifier comes in. Visible mist from traditional humidifiers is unhealthy due to particles and bacteria being

carried by the water into the air. Canopy's mist-free hydration is invisible, clean moisture, which is the best kind for your skin and health. Canopy's humidifier has an antimicrobial filter that catches irritating minerals, bacteria, and other nasty stuff from the water before it's evaporated into your environment. You'll also never have to worry about mold. Canopy utilizes a unique technology that keeps the humidifier running until there's no water left inside the unit. No water left inside means no mold.

And the easiest part, Canopy goes right into the dishwasher. Canopy Humidifier also has a built-in aroma diffuser that uses the simple, healthy process of evaporation to fill your room with scented moisture. Go to get canopy.co to save $25 on your canopy humidifier purchase today with canopies filter subscription, even better use code honest at checkout to save an additional 10% off your canopy purchase. You guys, your skin will thank you.

So we're not done yet, you guys. Let me back up more. So the Friday before Thanksgiving, I'm still active on Raya. Don't worry. And I matched with an actor who is gorgeous, who I had met like 13 or 14 years ago. But this is wild because you sent me his Instagram like a year ago. This is so crazy. Okay. So like a year ago, I watch every TV show that comes out like known to me. Like I am a TV whore. And I was watching this one show that was really good. It was a big show last year and I watched it like this

guy is gorgeous. Like so like if I could draw up the perfect guy for Kristen, this is like my dream like this guy. So I immediately text Kristen because every time I see a hot guy, I text her a picture of him. I'm like, let's find out if he's single. So I send her a picture of this guy. I'm like, this guy is so freaking hot

and he's been in a lot of things. I had seen him before and I just was reminded of him as we sent it. And then Chris and I are kind of talking about him. We're looking at Instagram. We can't figure out. No, but I'm like, I've met him. No, I know. And you also, you had met this guy before, but it kind of just fizzled out. We stopped talking about him. No, what happened was, okay, so I had met him with a mutual friend, which is the same mutual friend that hot man for Ryan I have, which is really weird. So I had met him like 14 years ago and it was like right when Jay and I had started dating. And so like that was that. OK, but I know we have this mutual friend. So you send me his

profile and I'm like, damn, yeah, he looks good. So I asked our mutual friend to hook me up with him and it just like that's right. It like didn't go anywhere. And I was like, okay, I'm not going to push it, but like, what the fuck? Okay. So that's what happened. And then we just kind of died. Okay. So I see him on Raya and we match and he, he DM'd me right away. And it was, he was so cute. His DM to me, like very sweet. And I was like, am I crazy? Like we met like 14 years ago, right? And he's like, yes, we're like laughing about it. Like all the things he actually gets my number. So now we like move off of the app, which I really like. And we've been talking a lot. We FaceTime. Well, we did voice notes and then we FaceTimed and we were like,

we want to see each other. So he ended up flying to Nashville yesterday. He's here right now. Come on out. He's not in the house. He's not staying here. So we have a special guest. What if your show turned into that? Like us just interviewing potential guys. Like, what do you like about me?

Oh, my God. What do you think I bring to the table? OK, so I'm dying. So he got a hotel room downtown Nashville. We went to dinner last night and we had a great dinner, a great dinner, a sweet, nice kiss at the end. And that was that. We have chemistry. Tonight, we're all going to go. She brought her like a gift to dinner. I don't think you should tell that yet

because it's like. No, I think this is really sweet. Okay. So we were talking about our love for puzzles and I told him I'm obsessed with puzzles and it's like the nerdiest thing about me, which I don't even know if that really is. But and so he brought me to dinner, you guys, a puzzle of a blonde girl in a greenhouse,

which he was like, that's you. That looks like you because I have a greenhouse. This is so cute. And these little like shortbread biscuit things from his little market in the town that he lives. And he was like, these are, you know, for your kids. And it was like shortbread biscuit things from his little market in the town that he lives. And he was like, these are, you know, for your kids. And it was like so fucking sweet. He's adorable.

He's an actor, like I was saying, but he lives in a smaller town to be closer to his family, which is so cute to be closer to his mom. Yeah, to be closer to his mom. He is so freaking adorable. He's like a golden retriever. He's so sweet. He's such a gentleman. He's very good with communication. He's not like golden retriever. He's so sweet. He's such a gentleman. He's very

good with communication. He's not like trying to play Mr. Cool Guy. Like I'm in love with him tonight. We're all going to dinner and I get to meet him for the first time. I'm so afraid, though, that he's too nice for you. And that's like, well, I'm not ready for it. Yeah, because he's very much you can tell, like, ready. He's been thinking about you for 14 years. Like, he's excited, you know, and so we have to see where it goes. Well, OK, so even after last night, I'm like, I just need to have a very honest conversation with him about I need to take it so slow talking and I said to you, like, Chris, I feel like you're almost not completely ready for a relationship and ready to give up all of your freedom. And like, I literally feel like you like had like a sigh where you were like, just like you are realizing that you're enjoying dating people, getting to know people, really figuring

it out. But I do think if you met the perfect guy, like it would change everything. I do too. I just think, yeah, like my freedom and my independence right now is everything. Unless it was the perfect guy. Like, would that change it or not? I mean, I don't know. I also.

Well, I'm afraid you're going to sabotage the first. I know you said it from the beginning. Because that's what I was saying, too. I was like, then all then do all the fuck boys that hang out with hot guy in L.A. or whatever, because like I'm afraid like this guy this guy I think is really, really great. This is like a husband. He's amazing. Gorgeous. Sweet. Amazing.

And I'm just afraid it's like that you could sabotage. Not that you would sabotage. That's such a bad word. I just might not be ready for it. But that's why I think just me being very honest with him of like, I need to take it so slow yeah because what's the point of rushing into something by the way too I think because

I don't know why do you do it well I'm trying not to anymore you dick face I don't know why do you do it every time that's why this time I'm changing it up I love that for you sure I love that for you no because I think now like after my conversations with Mike I'm changing it up. I love that for you. Sure, I love that for you. No, because I think now, like after my conversations with Mike, I got like, I literally felt like I was suffocating. It's so interesting too. I hope that like, obviously a lot of your listeners are women and it's like, we're not doing this. I think that's safe to say they're mostly women.

Hey guys, how's it going? They love football and Kristen's, let's be honest. But women, I think all of this is so relatable. And it's like, I hope that people like when you hear other people talking it through so many people go through these kind of things. And I think it's interesting, like where you're at in your life, like having kids, being divorced, like having your own money, like you don't need to rush in. It could be five more years till you find Mr. Right, you know, and that's not a big deal.

You know, if you were wanting to have kids and you were wanting to get married or whatever. Yeah. You would feel a sense of pressure maybe. But we were kind of talking about this last week where I was like, Kristen, you could do this for a while. Like you could really find what is perfect for you. Like you don't need to rush into anything. And that's what I'm going to do. And that's why I actually feel like I'm in the best place for dating because I can really take my time and I am happy on my own and I don't need a guy for anything. And so I just think like I'm fortunate to be in this place now. Yeah, I think it's so beautiful. I mean, I like love women. So all of my friends are women and everything. And I wish that more women had this because I feel like there is like that pressure you know you're in a different spot but like I

mean I grew up Mormon like if you were 22 years old and you weren't married everyone was like oh she's old we got to find her somebody yeah and I think it's so beautiful when you can really take the time to find like the perfect partner I do too I do too so I'm sure I'll have a lot of updates I mean hopefully there's not like five more guys next time we update you guys. Hopefully it's still this actor and, you know, we're just taking things slow, but we'll see. So I only have one more episode of Let's Be Honest next week. And then I'm going to take a couple of weeks off for Christmas, but we will be back January 9th.

But next week is Dr. Sherry Campbell. And it's an episode about narcissists, which I loved doing. And I love her. So I'm excited for you guys for that one. But as always, thank you. Justin. No problem at all. I thank you guys for listening and we'll see you soon. Bye guys.