Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - So, You're Telling Me You Don't Miss Reality TV? With Stassi Schroeder

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

When I started this podcast, I had a list of people I was dying to sit down with. And one of them was the very beautiful (and at the time, very pregnant) reality TV princess, Stassi Schroeder. We all know her from Vanderpump Rules and her two hit podcasts but I'm so glad we sat down just before she had her baby because this episode goes so far beyond who we think Stassi is. We talk about being Hollywood club rats, how I straight up do not care about the 'Scandoval,' and getting as far away from reality TV as possible.A word from my sponsors:Amika: Go to loveamika.com/honest to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers.Seed: Join me in my gut health journey with Seed. Visit seed.com/HONEST and use code HONEST to redeem 30% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic.Hiya Health: Try Hiya’s bestselling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/honest.HelloFresh: Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable — that’s why it’s America’s #1 meal kit! Go to HelloFresh.com/50letsbehonest and use code 50letsbehonest for 50% off — plus 15% off the next 2 months!Ned: Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code HONEST. Go to helloned.com/HONEST or enter code HONEST at checkout.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. What's up, you guys? Welcome to Let's Be Honest. I am your host, Kristen Cavallari, and sitting across from me is, I'm not kidding, the most beautiful pregnant woman on the planet. We know her from Vanderpump Rules, you guys, but she is so much more than that. She's broken away, and she's now a two-time New York Times bestselling author. She has the Good,

the Bad, the Baby podcast with her husband, Beau, and she is a soon-to-be mother to two. Yes. We are, of course, talking to the one and only Stassi Schroeder. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I also have my own podcast. Oh, tell me. Straight Up with Stassi for seven years. Okay. Is it eight now? I thought so, but then I was like, maybe you got rid of that one and now you're doing the one with your hubby. No, I do two now. Yeah. Hey, look at you, overachiever. You know, I love that. Okay, we're going to you got rid of that one. And now you're doing the one with. No, I do too now. Yeah. Hey, look at you overachiever. You know, I love that. Okay. We're going to get into all of that, but I'm, I want to start with the fact that I'm so excited to hear, because I want to talk about your journey

from when you first started on Vanderpump to where you are now. I think it's really, really inspiring and incredible. We've seen you for 10 years, right? Vanderpump premiered in 2013 when you were 25 years old. I feel like, yeah, well, we started it when I was like 22. Yeah, we started it when I was 22 because I remember being that being such a brat being like, it's my 23rd birthday. Like it's the only that's literally the only reason I remember my age. But yeah, no, really long time ago. Internet is wrong then because I looked it up and it said that it aired in 2013. Or how old are you?

That would make sense that I would be turning 25. Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is, wow. We don't know how old you are. We have no idea what's going on. But you've been around for about 10 years. Yeah.

So I remember when Vanderpump first came out and watching you reminded me a lot of actually myself on Laguna Beach. Kristen. No, it's true. Because I will never forget the first time I met you. Okay. I watched Laguna Beach when I was like 13, 14.

We were young. And I remember some of my friends, friends that like she know, people in this room know they were like oh my god you're just like Kristen Cavallari and I'm like thank you I'm like this 13 14 year old girl thank you thank you and then the second that we got Vanderpump Rules the second I found out I was just like I'm just gonna channel

my inner Kristen Cavallari and I'll never forget the first time I met you was at Sir you like came to dinner and I'm like but I don't think you were working right I can't remember I don't think you were working, right? I can't remember. I don't think you were working, but you came in. I was so excited to meet you. We took a picture together too, didn't we? Do you still have that? I have it. You have to send that to me. I will send it to you. Send it to me. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah. God,

that must've been like 2015 or so. Yeah. So thank you for that compliment because that I did my job then. You did. You were my inspiration. Mission accomplished. But it's interesting because when I looked at you, I saw this girl that was very tough, you know, had up these walls. And to me, I saw it as though you were trying to protect yourself, which is exactly what I did on the show. And now to sit across from you, you seem so happy and just peaceful. And so that's why I think it's really inspiring. So I want to hear about the whole journey. But OK, I do want to go back to when Vanderpump first came on. Seasons one and two, when you look back at that version of yourself, that girl, what do you think of?

Oh, my gosh. I cringe. I get like secondhand embarrassment. I start sweating. Like the worst is when I have like people who are just starting to watch it all over again and they think I'm still that person. I get DMs all the time from people being like, you don't deserve any good in your life that you have. I'm like, I get it. Okay. People either loved you or love to hate you, which I also could relate to. Yes, totally. I mean, it's weird to look back at it because on one hand, I look back and I'm like, wow, that's so entertaining. Yeah, which you're making a TV show.

You're making a TV show. It should be entertaining. Yes, like I was like, we're turning it on. We're exaggerating ourselves a little bit. But then now that I have a kid and a kid on the way, I'm like, if I ever saw her acting like that, I would be horrified. So I have just all of these conflicting emotions where I'm like proud that I like made good TV, but I'm so ashamed of myself for how I treated people. So it's all part of the growing up process. It's all good.

I'm similar to you, but I also feel like it's just, we were so young and I think we can always fall back on the fact that we were making a TV show unless you bring the excitement and the drama and the personality. There's no TV show.

Absolutely. And my kids are older now, so I've had to explain that to my kids. So I think it's just a conversation you have. Have they seen it? So they haven't. They've seen bits and pieces to my kids. So I think it's just a conversation you have. Have they seen it? So they haven't. They've seen bits and pieces of it. But to them, it's actually really boring because, you know, TV now,

there's so much going on with YouTube and everything. They're overstimulated. So those shows, I'm sure your kids will say the same thing. They're so boring. They're like, nothing's happening. No. Some eye rolls are like, who cares? Lots of long pauses on Laguna Beach.

Just the music. Oh my God. It's so funny because I just had to go back and watch it. And it is pretty boring, I have to say. But Vanderpump was not boring. No, I don't feel like it was. Okay. So when you guys started, you and Jax were a real couple. Yes. Before the cameras started rolling. Yeah. I got him a job at Sir so that he could be on this show. Okay. I was like, you're going to have, we were living together and I'm like, I'm going out for this show. They're doing a show at Sir. You would be perfect on it. And like, I can't be on it without my boyfriend. Right. So you're going to have to start working at Sir. And was he was all in on that? Oh yeah. I mean, what else was he going to do?

Okay. So I have a theory on couples that enter a reality show together. What happens to them? I think one of three things can happen. But I'm curious if you well, what you think the cameras did to your guys's relationship? What role did it play? I'm not one of those that think that that you're doomed if you go on a reality show. I think that it highlights your weaknesses as a couple. It shines a mirror on everything that's right and wrong with you guys as a couple. But sometimes it's like therapy. And sometimes it forces you to really address the issues that you're just not talking about. And so I like it sometimes for that.

Yeah. Forces you to have conversations. You can't just avoid whatever's going on. Totally. And then there's no elephant in the room anymore. We've got it all out there. Everything's on the table. But if you're not right for each other, there's no way in hell you can make it through a reality show. But like, Jax and I were the most toxic couple I feel like in the history of television. So that was never gonna, that was never gonna be, I'm not gonna blame the reality show

on the demise of our relationship. I respect that. Well, it's the same thing with me. I've never once said that the show is what made me get a divorce. It just isn't at all. I've actually wondered that. I wasn't gonna like cross that line because that is your your that's your life and that's sacred to you.

You know what I mean? But I I wondered that because, you know, I knew at the very start of Very Cavallari that our relationship was not good. And to be completely honest, I wanted to have a moment for me because I had given up my life. I moved to Chicago. I was having baby after baby. It's giving Giselle Bündchen. Thank you. But I was living his football life. And so, you know, I launched Uncommon James. I launched my company and I wanted to do the show for that company. That was truly the only reason why I did it. But I knew that we were not in a good place and I filmed the show anyways. And I think we did a really good job about keeping the audience at an arm's length, not really showing what was going on, but it was always there. I would never blame the show

in a million years. Okay. But here is my theory on the three scenarios. Yeah, I want to hear this. And I want you to add anything to it. Just in case I ever go back on reality TV with my husband. I just want you to be prepared. I want to know. Here we go. Okay, the first situation is, and this is probably true for me on Laguna Beach, but you're put in situations you wouldn't normally be in. So it causes tension.

The producers are having you guys do things you wouldn't normally do. I'll give an example of this too. People ask me all the time if you're, because my wedding was supposed to be filmed. So they're like, what would it have been like if your wedding was filmed? I'm like, we would have been put in so many situations that would have driven me nuts.

They would have had Bo go out with all the guys the night before the wedding, stay out really late. He had a call time. What was he supposed to do? Then would have come home wasted. I would have been mad. So we would have been fighting on the morning of our wedding.

Things like that. Which is TV gold. Which is great. And I understand we have a job to do. He has a call time. He has to show up and do it. But that didn't happen in real life without it being filmed. See, that's such a great example.

So then, yeah, it creates almost, it creates drama and tension. And I think when you have a whole show about your relationship, it ultimately turns toxic. So of course, it's not sustainable. Okay, so that's one situation. And I feel like that typically happens in younger people, right? Like me on Laguna Beach, because we're being persuaded by producers, you know, you and Jax to a degree, even though I, you know, I know you're saying that it wasn't going to last no matter what. But okay. So that's one situation. The second is where, because I think on a reality

show, you're almost like playing a version of yourself. It's like you as a character. So then I think you start playing up that character and you're now like this not real version of you. Yeah. And then it feels so fake and insincere. And I think, don't quote me on this, you guys, but I'm pretty sure Jessica Simpson said that at one point that that's how she felt her and Nick Lachey were on the newlyweds. Okay. Do you have an example of that? Because you're. No, I feel this. So you feel I really do, especially the older that I get. Like you get used to being like, OK, well, this is what people know of me. And this is what people think my personality is.

This is what people like to see of me. So I have to freak out on my birthday. I have to deliver that. And then I'm like, wait, but that's not even like, or I have to just tell it like it is. And I've noticed that since becoming a parent, like I'm, I'm not as unfiltered as I used to be, because I think that there's something to be said for like thinking before you speak, just so that you're not going around hurting everyone's feelings, you know, like, and I feel like sometimes I'm disappointing people by not being as unfiltered because that's what people know of me. So when I would go on TV, I'd be like, well, I have to be unfiltered. So I become

this like this character. It still is me. Right. It's a one side of you. Yeah. One little part. Totally. I know I'm in therapy right now. That's what this feels like. But you know what? Also, you can't fucking win. Like no matter what you do, you can't win. And so that's why I know because also you're not 25 anymore. You're a mother. You've matured. Thirty five. Yeah, I'm thirty six. How did we get here? But that's the thing, too. Like I was known as the party girl and now people are like, you're boring. And I'm like, OK, well, I'm not fucking 18 at a club anymore. I know. First of all,

you are so not boring. Thank you. Thank you. You are not. I've still got it. That is so annoying that anyone would say that to you because when I like,

obviously I follow you on social media, I follow along with your life and I'm like, how does she do it? How does she still have so much fun? So like, fuck those people.

Thank you, Stassi. Damn it. Well, when you have that baby, we're going to have some fun together. I'm going to be fun. Yes, we are. Damn it. Well, when you have that baby, we're going to have some fun. Yes, we are. Damn it. Let's go. Okay.

So my third scenario is I think one person gets a little taste of that attention and loses their minds, to be honest. They get obsessed with it, addicted to it, and now they're trying to do stuff to keep that relevancy. And this can happen with friends too I've always been very careful post Laguna Beach I was always very careful

about bringing real friends and real relationships into a reality show because people lose their minds yeah no it is a drug

it is it is the attention that you get the opportunities then that you get from that you start

thinking and I also I also joke since I've been out of it for so long that like your EQ your emotional intelligence like seriously goes way down when you're on a reality show because you start thinking the whole world revolves around you and that every thought that you have is important that everything you're going through is important because when you're on a show, your producers are constantly asking you and making you feel like everything you're thinking and feeling is the most important thing in the world. I try and tell my friends who are still on it. I'm like, you guys, no one gives a shit. No one cares.

I definitely don't at this point. No one cares. Do you still talk to a lot of the cast members? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to ask you all the drama that's going on because to be honest I don't care

I was one of my best friends was like can you please watch the finale of this most recent season so we can just talk about it I watched it

I watched it but I was like I don't know what's going on how are you not following are you the only person in the world that isn't following Scandival

I mean obviously I see what's going on my best friend Justin loves to keep me informed, but I think just because it's almost, it's not, I don't want to say triggering, but like those situations, because we've, okay, listen, you and I have both been in shit storms in the media. Yeah. That to me is triggering. We're like, I, I know how that feels. Yeah. And I don't want to ever feel that again, even though I know at some point I will. I mean, we both probably will again. Yeah, 100 percent. That feeling is like debilitating. I I've never really thought about it like that. So I don't want to feel that for them. I get it.

I think the older I've gotten, the more of an empath. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess I am the only person who doesn't really know what the fuck's going on. Okay. So talking about filming a reality show with your boyfriend or husband is very different. However, you do have a podcast with your husband. So were you nervous at all for that? Has it affected y'all's dynamic? It doesn't affect our dynamic, but it does get annoying sometimes. I could imagine. It's really hard. It's really hard working with your partner. It just is. Because I've been doing this for so long that I think I know how to lead.

I know how to do this. It's like, catch up, catch up. Or if I see that like a story that he's trying to say, like, isn't like, he's not doing it in the right amount of time. I'm like, let me jump in and do this for you. And then that's also rude of me and so then he feels less than or like he's

not as good or like he's his doesn't have as much value or something like that yeah so then that bleeds emasculating I guess yeah it is a little and so then that bleeds into like just like when we're at home together and so I have to then be like, I'm sorry. You know, it's harder. Like if he has ideas that I personally don't think we're going to go with. Right. I have to think. So that is similar to filming a reality show though,

because it's content essentially that you're putting out there. And because I would, I could imagine if I were to film another reality show and I think you'd be the exact same. It's like, I know what I'm doing. Like follow suit. Like I've got this, like, no, no, no. This is your first time doing it.

Just let me lead. Yeah. The same thing with the podcast, which is what you're saying. Yeah. So it's it's difficult. But it also like on the other hand, like I really do. Even all those things I just complained about, I really do think it bonds us, too, because we both understand the pressure. He understands the pressure that I'm under because now he's under that pressure. Right. And so it puts us on the same team and we have something that we're both working for together. Yeah. And if you and he's my best friend, I enjoy being around him. He's my favorite person to be around. And I like being at home with him. I like being out doing things with him. So because of that, it's really fun. Yeah. But it is still really hard and it does

like bleed into our relationship. One hundred percent. I love that. Wait, how did you guys meet? Because I actually I don't know this story. It's not like that. It's not like that, like romantic or anything. It's a Kristen and Katie from Vanderpump Rules introduced us. And he was just, they showed me his Instagram and he was just so different from anyone I'd ever dated that I'm like, I think this is what I should try. I think I should try something different. And we also took it really slow. We dated other people too for six months.

And it was everything about this relationship was just, I maneuvered through it differently than the way I had with every previous relationship. OK, you guys, let's talk about a hair care brand that I love. Amika. Let's get clinical. Lather up your strands with Amika's clinically proven shampoo and conditioner duos that leave your hair looking and feeling like you just left the salon. Their science-backed formulas are powered by nourishing, naturally derived ingredients with no nasties that deliver visible, woe-worthy results for every hair type. Amika means friend. They're a fearless,

Brooklyn-born, salon-raised hair care brand. They're a friend to all hair, hairstylists, the planet, and you. They were kind and clean before it was a thing. Amika is always vegan and cruelty-free. They're clean and planet positive at Sephora and B Corp certified, which I love. Their sea buckhorn powered products, nourish your skin, scalp, and strands. Their packaging is really fun and pretty. I also love their texturizing spray. I just got this shine mask, which I freaking love that I started using and my hair has been pretty shiny. I have to say you guys can shop all of my personal favorites at loveamika.com slash honest and get 20% off your order. The 20% off discount automatically applies at checkout. If you use my link cannot be combined with other

offers and it expires 11, 1 23. Again, you guys can shop all of my favorites at loveamika.com slash honest and get 20% off your order. All right, you guys, let's talk about one of my favorite children's vitamin brands. And that is Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise. They're filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other just gummy junk growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya was created. Formulated with the help of nutritional experts. Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamin D B12 C zinc folate, and many others to help support immunity, energy,

brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones, and so much more. It's non-GMO, vegan, dairy-free, allergy-free, gelatin-free, nut-free, and everything else you can imagine. Basically, it checks every single box. I love Haya for when my kids maybe aren't eating as healthy as I wish that they were eating. It definitely gives me peace of mind knowing that my kids are getting all of the essential vitamins and minerals that they need to support their growing bodies. And I've never had a problem getting these in my kids either, which is a huge win for parents. As we all know, getting vitamins and kids can be a real trick. And you guys, I've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hiahealth.com

slash honest. This deal is not available on their regular website. So you're going to want to go to H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H.com slash honest and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. So let's talk about your previous relationships because, okay, so to me, so you're dating Jax. You're now on a TV show. So now everyone knows your name and then you and Jax break up

and now you're dating with everyone knowing who you are. Wait, this is so funny because I want to know if you've gone through this before. So literally like the first day of filming season one, like it was very clear.

I was like, oh, Jax and I are breaking up. Like, but I don't want to go through this on a reality show. So I'm like, I'll stick it out. I'll pretend that we're still together or I'll make this relationship work and I'll break up with him right after filming. And that ended up not happening because then I found out he like cheated on me,

got to go knocked up in Vegas. I remember this. Oh my God. Yeah, so we ended up, whatever. Did you all that on a fucking show? On a show, yeah. That's a lot. It was a lot.

No, it was a lot, but no, it's fine. But I was wondering if you'd ever done that before. If like you ever was like, clearly this relationship isn't going to work out, but I'm not going to go through a breakup on TV. So I'm just going to like, yeah, I'm going to keep it going for a little while. Yeah. I mean, I think it's safe to say my most recent show, that's kind of what happened. Yeah. Yeah. And then I finally, season three of Very Cavalry wrapped and I was like, I just can't, I can't do this anymore. Yeah. So, and then, and then I walked away from Very Cavallari because I didn't want to date on the show and I didn't want to talk

about my divorce. Like everyone loved that show. I know you don't want to talk about your divorce. I couldn't do it honestly. Because, you know, to your point earlier, I have three kids. Yeah. Like I can't have them seeing me talking about my divorce on national television. I just think it's really, I just think it's crossing a line and I'm really thankful for my time with Jay. I mean, obviously, but I just didn't want to expose all of that. Yeah. So I mean, that's, that's amazing of you. I feel like you deserve like so much credit for that. Thank you. Thank you. But wait, I want to go back. Okay. So sorry. No, no, no. I love that. We're just jumping all around, but so because, okay.

So now I'm in the dating world again. Right. So I'm like so curious about people's dating experiences, like how you got to find the one, like I need all the advice, but I want to know when you first started dating and now that you're on TV, what was that like? You mean like the difference between the difference between like pre TV and now you're on TV and you're back in the dating world. Cause it's a whole new beast. Oh, my God. I mean, I look back on all I mean, all of the times that I was dating post Vanner Pump Rules with like, honestly, the fondest memories.

I just felt like such a baller. I love that. I did like before Vanner Pump Rules, like, you know, I would just like this like a Hollywood club rat that was just like going to a different club every fucking day. Yeah. And like, you know, the guys like really just treat you like shit. And I was in college and then like I got out of college. And so then I'm like, what do I have to show for anything? I'm just like everyone else here.

And so I hated dating in L.A. before Vanderpump Rules. At least Vanderpump Rules at least Vanderpump Rules like yes a lot of the dates that I went on a lot of those men judged me and were like

I would never date a reality person but at least until you are until like literally until you actually are yeah until we get

in like a five year relationship someone recently was just like I've had to tell my friends like she's more than reality I'm like what do you know the amount of times

I've heard that bye oh my god goodbye literally but after vanderpump rules at least it gave me like the confidence that like i had something i like accomplished something and so i am somebody like even if she's a train wreck she's out there so like i, I just really liked, I liked dating. Okay. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Okay.

So a big thing right now is there's this movement of like women making the first move. Like if you want something, you go get it, you know, which I'm all about that life. Yeah. And I've got my theory on that too. But I want to know if you ever made the first move. Oh yeah. I've made the first move. You have?

Yeah. What do you do? Well, like with Bo, you make the first move with him. Yeah, like I like, because I'm like, why isn't he trying to have sex with me? Oh, but I, okay, hold on. Okay, that, well, that I also-

It took so long. It was like two months, I feel like. And he never tried? No, we were just like, no. Okay, yeah, I would also be like, he's not into me. Yeah, 100%. Like, it's so hard to remember now,

but I'm like, no, I had to make that first move. I'm like, enough is enough. Let's go, baby%. Like, it's so hard to remember now, but I'm like, no, I had to make that first move. I'm like, enough is enough. Let's go, baby. Yeah. Okay. That's amazing. I love you for sharing that. But I also just mean like asking someone out for the first time. Oh, God, it never feels good. Right? That's like, I don't know if I can't remember. But like, which probably means that you have not. Yeah. I don't feel like I have. I just don't feel like I would feel. If someone feels good about themselves doing that, then like awesome for you.

But like I wouldn't, I would feel insecure. I just know myself, I would. I could never. I could never make the first move because, well, for a few reasons. One is I want to be quartered. Like I want a guy to put some effort in. I'm old school like that.

But you guys are going to hate me for saying this. I really feel like if a guy wanted to ask you out… He would. He would. So I don't want a guy to be like, oh sure, I'll go out with you just because I approached him. No, I kind of feel the same way. Okay, thank you.

People aren't going to like that. I knew you'd be on my fucking page. No, people aren't going to like that. And I'm sorry you on my fucking page. No, people aren't going to like that. And I'm sorry, you guys, but I'm just being honest. But yes. I'm just being honest. I didn't even plan that.

But okay, here's the thing. There's a girl in my office who I absolutely love. She's, I think, 24 or 25 years old. She is always making the first move. Good for her. That's what I say. I'm like, you are a badass.

We were just in New York together. There was a cute table of boys. She had one of the other girls who works for us. Give them a note being like, she's single, blah, blah, blah. He wrote her the sweetest text. He texted her and he was like, I'm in a relationship, but I think what you're doing is awesome. Like, keep it up. Plane ride home. Same thing. Gives the flight attendant a note. Gives it to this guy. He came back and sat with her the entire flight home. They hung out afterwards, but ended up being a fucking psycho and was like obsessed with her. So it didn't work out. But I do think there are those times where good for you. No, I like I hope my daughter's like that. I hope my daughter is not like me. No, I hope that she's like that. I hope she goes

after whatever she wants. I want my daughter to have all the men approaching her. Sailor, remember this, damn it. I'm going to hell. Okay. So dumb. I'm just kidding, you guys. But not really. All the girls, you're an asshole. Okay. so let's go back to Beau, your hubs. So how did you know that he was the one? What was different about him than all these other guys? He was like a hype man. Like he was like a huge cheerleader.

He made me feel really good about myself. And I felt like I could fully be myself. Like in every single relationship that I had been in before, I just felt like I couldn't fully be myself. Like in every single relationship that I had been in before, I just felt like I couldn't fully be myself. Or if I was, let's just say, for example, like something like too being too basic, too girly, too, like I would have to change that part of me. And I never have once felt that with Bo, like who I am is it's not just like good enough. It's like, he loves it. And so that it's because he's secure. He's confident. And I'm just the best. And you're the best. He's so lucky to have you. No, it's true. And you know, you've always heard

that, that saying that you want the guy to love you a little bit more. So you do want a guy. No, I hope that's the situation I'm in. Well, that's what it sounds like though. Like he just thinks that you're the best. No, like, yeah. When he like looks at me sometimes and he's like, no, like, I don't know what I would do if like I lost you. I'm like, that's so nice.

Thank you. Keep that with you. Thank you. Keep that with you. You know what I mean? Don't get too comfortable. Same with me. Yeah, no, thank you.

I appreciate that. So did you know right away that he was the one or it took a minute? No, it took a minute because we, again, we like, we moved really slow. And like at first, like, I'm like, but he loves to go out just as much as I do. I need somebody to ground me. Like he was just like this fun, happy-go-lucky guy that I wasn't sure that he was going to be serious enough for me. Okay.

So it did take a while. But the chemistry was there. Oh, the chemistry was always there. So like immediately you were like, oh my God. I have butterflies. I like him. I hope he texts me.

Why the fuck isn't he texting me? Okay. All of that. Yeah. Okay. Because this is a big debate I have with my friends is chemistry versus compatibility. And I am not going to settle until I have both.

Do I think compatibility is huge? Yes, of course. So I joined TikTok like, I don't know, two months ago and every fucking video. Welcome. Thanks. I'm actually obsessed. Took me long enough. Shit. I'm obsessed. But every video I see is like, you know, people giving dating advice, being like, you need to find a man who can build a life with you. Oh, is that your algorithm? And I'm like, what the fuck? It's because you're watching them, Kristen. I'm like, is that true? So chemistry's out the fucking window. No, but I'm like, yeah, that's important if you want a long lasting relationship.

But no, I'm sorry. I need chemistry. And I know immediately if I like somebody, I'll go on dates with great guys. They have a great job. They're good looking. They're kind. They're asking me questions about myself, but nothing in me wants to kiss them.

And I'm like, no, it's just not there. Most of my friends are like, you should give them another chance because that can grow. And I don't agree with that at all. I do not think that that grows. I think what happens is you have a great guy and you have compatibility.

And you, you know, because he's a great guy, you give him another chance. And I almost think you start to settle and convince yourself that there's chemistry or maybe attraction grows. But chemistry is like, I want that passion, that fire. No, I agree with you because living alone and being alone is still so much fun. And I miss that. So if I'm not going to be alone. Yes, I do. So if I'm not going to be alone, it better be with someone I want to make out with. This is what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I feel that. I've had a lot of dates with great guys. And I'm like, I literally don't want to kiss him, let alone fuck him. Yeah. Excuse my language. No, that's the truth.

You have to have that. Yeah. I don't think that grows. So that's why I'm still single because I have not found. But isn't being alone the best? No, I love it. And that's the other thing. I'm so think that grows. So I'm, that's why I'm still single because I have not found. But isn't being alone the best? No, I love it. And that's the other thing.

I'm so happy on my own. Yes. Yeah. I better take someone fucking amazing for me to want to be in a relationship. 100%. Like being alone is just like so underrated. I agree.

Like when people are complaining about being single, I'm like, you guys don't realize what you're even complaining about right now. I know. It's true. It's true. It's so fun. The freedom that you have. Yeah. I mean, I've got my kids, so my freedom is not quite what it was when I was single, like pre-marriage. But still, there is still a freedom

there. And that is very nice. I have to say. I have to say. How long have you guys been together? We started dating six years ago. OK. And we've been married, I guess, three years. We got married during COVID. Oh, you did? Well, we like signed papers. Oh, okay. I did the like signing papers thing. You made it legal. Yes.

Okay. Yeah, but we had our wedding last year. Oh, okay. Where was the wedding? Italy. Amazing. Rome. I think I actually remember seeing, you sold your pictures, yeah?

I didn't sell my pictures. Or maybe you posted some. I posted the shit out of them. Why didn't you make money on them? Because you know what? People ask me this sometimes. What the fuck? You could have made a lot of money.

We had a discussion about it. And I'm like, you know, I think it's more important to like sometimes to have that just like one way street communication with your followers. I agree. And like with your like, I hate to say like the community my community but truly instead of it just always being a business trend transaction like too many business transactions just dilute the authenticity of just like what I'm about I love you and that's why people love you because people can tell I actually wasn't gonna sell my wedding photos

either and then paparazzi got us so I was well, it might as well fucking sell them now. So see, like paparazzi did end up getting us. And I was so I cried. I was so upset. And then I was like, should I have it was a it was a whole thing. But no, I just released them myself. Okay. I love that. And people can tell. I really do think people can tell. All right, you guys, I am excited to talk to you about HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. When it comes to options, honestly, more is more. That's why HelloFresh's menu includes 40 recipes and over 100 add-on items to choose from every week. A busy fall schedule doesn't always leave you with time to spare. And with HelloFresh, you don't need to spend all evening in the kitchen

to whip up a wholesome meal. With their quick and easy recipes and 15-minute meals, you can get a tasty dinner on the table in less time than it takes to get takeout or delivery. A busy fall schedule is exactly what I have. I am balancing three kids schedules plus my own and just being back in school, running around, getting homework done. Our weeknights are just chaotic in the best way possible. So because we're in the car a lot of the time, I don't always have time to meal plan and go to the grocery store. So HelloFresh has really been coming in key for me this fall. It's so convenient just coming home and having that box on your door, having everything pre-portioned out for you, ready to go. It makes throwing dinner together so easy and enjoyable and just takes the stress out of

meal planning. So you guys, you're definitely going to want to check it out. Go to hellofresh.com slash 50. Let's be honest and use code 50. Let's be honest for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. Again, that's hellofresh.com slash 50. Let's be honest and use code 50. Let's be honest for 50% off plus 15% off the next two months. Trust me, you guys, you're definitely going to want to check out America's number one meal kit. All right, guys, let's take a second to talk about seed. Nurturing our gut microbiome is important to support a resilient immune system in the fall and winter months. Immunity is on the top of everyone's mind, but what often gets missed in the oversaturation of anti-cold and anti-flu messaging

is the role that your gut microbiome plays in systemic health. Did you know that the gut and the immune system work together to carefully coordinate our body's response to the world around and within us? Your body operates on a 24-hour cycle known as your circadian rhythm, which plays a key role in maintaining homeostasis of the microbiome. Emerging data also show that the gut microbiome has its own circadian clock, changes to your normal rhythms, induce what is known as circadian misalignment, which may disrupt your microbes and the important functions they perform. That's why I was so excited to try Seed's DS-01 daily

symbiotic because they're a plant-based prebiotic and probiotic with 24 strains that have been clinically or scientifically studied for its benefits. 53.6 billion AFU. I always take two capsules once a day on an empty stomach. Usually it's first thing in the morning. Seed delivers the DS01 daily symbiotic to you monthly in sustainable packaging with a reusable glass jar that protects the probiotics inside and helps minimize plastic use and waste. Well, I don't know about you, but I just learned a lot. Join me in my gut health journey with Seed. Visit seed.com slash honest and use code honest to redeem 30% off your first month of Seed's DS01 daily symbiotic. That's seed.com slash honest and use code honest. You guys, let's take a second to talk about

one of my favorite supplements, which is magnesium, particularly this mellow magnesium by Ned. I've been taking magnesium for years now. And you guys, I really think that everyone should be taking magnesium. I have improved my sleep. It's really good for stress. It's really good for inflammation. It's good for pain. I really can't say enough good stuff about magnesium. And did you guys know that 75% of American adults are deficient in magnesium, a mineral that's essential to hundreds of functions in the body. It is a powerful daily super blend that contains three forms of chelated magnesium, GABA, L-theanine, amino acids, and over 70 trace minerals. Like I said, it can improve sleep, reduce stress, increase energy, elevate mood, boost gut microbiome,

and strengthen immunity. Why not try it? Ned's natural alternatives are not here to fix you. They're here to help bring you closer to living the way nature intended. And you guys just also want to say the unflavored version is so mild that you can sneak this in smoothies or tea or whatever to get it in your kids as well. Full transparency, Ned shares all of its third-party lab reports, all right there for viewing on its site. Ned's products have over 5,000 five-star reviews. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned's products with code HONEST. Go to helloned.com slash HONEST or enter code HONEST at checkout. That's H-E-L-L-O-N-E-D.com slash honest to get 15% off. Okay. So I kind of want to go back to what I talked about earlier, but how,

you know, you went from this girl on Vanderpump to this woman, this peaceful, happy woman that you are now. And so I want to talk about your self-discovery journey and what that looked like. Was there a breaking point or are we looking at this person now just purely off of maturity, finding the one, becoming a mom? Like what is that path for you? I think that it was just like a culmination of things over the last three years. Being a mom, 100%, like it fully changes you. Like you can say, you know, I don't want motherhood to change me. I want to be myself. I want to stay true to who I am. And like, of course, like I hope that I have a strong like sense of self and identity outside of motherhood. But like I welcomed like every change because when you have a kid, it's like what is important changes,

your priorities change. And when your priorities change, just like that trickles down into everything in your life, like your hobbies, the things you enjoy doing, like your lifestyle, like the time you go to bed at night from the time you wake up like it's just everything changes and like when little tangible things in your life like that change like it also changes just who you are completely you know I feel like motherhood was like the biggest thing and like being out of of like the reality world like truly like has made a difference again. It's like talking about your like emotional intelligence. Like I didn't realize how stunted I was. Right. Like truly. So true. Until like I've spent the last three years out of that world, like with myself not being

the only thing that matters. Right. Yeah, exactly. OK. You've also dealt with your fair share of negative press, which hi, me too. We all have. It's just part of it. But I'm always so curious to hear from other people who've gone through it, how you deal with that shit storm when it's going on. I surprisingly deal with it very well. Okay. A lot of, a lot of people would check, like check in on me when I'm going through something like that. And they're like, are you okay? I don't know how you're handling this. Like, I don't know how like you're surviving, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I feel like my superpower is just like really being able to like sit back and just like, I never thought I would be this person to like talk about fucking gratitude. Like literally

when I hear this, I roll my eyes, but like, I like take a breath and I sit back and I'm like, what am I really thankful for? I'm like, I'm so thankful that I'm pregnant. I'm so thankful that I have this house. I'm so thankful that like I get to like wake up. And if I wanted to like watch Outlander, I don't know what I mean. Like, yes, I focus on the things that really make me happy and the things that I'm like thankful that I do have that I'm like and remind myself that this is temporary. Right. Everything is temporary. So like while it feels like it's the end of the world, it's not going to feel like that for ever. It's true. So like focus on what you're like happy about right now, even as insignificant as like

when I wasn't pregnant or whatever. Like I'm so glad I can have this Aperol Spritz. Like, this brings me so much joy. I feel like I'm celebrating something, even though I'm fucking. The world's falling apart. Yeah, you know what I mean? That's such good advice, though, because I also in the last few years have really focused on gratitude and it totally just changes your perspective, which is everything.

Your reality is your perspective. Like, you know, Kristen, if you would have told both of us, we were in our early 20s. You're going to be talking about gratitude on a podcast. I would have literally backhanded you. It's the fucking truth. You have the five minute journal. That thing is awesome. I have one. I'm not I'm not very committed. I go like, yeah, I go like months of doing it. And then, yeah. But yeah, I'm all about gratitude. I try every morning when I wake up before I actually get up or look at my phone or do whatever. I try to sit there and be mindful of what I'm thankful of. And it just sets the tone. It really does. It's like making your bed. You know,

it is like making your bed. It's just part of the morning routine. OK, so coming off of bad press. So I want to play a little game with you. I fucking hate headlines. Like, I'm sure you do too. No, like literally, Kristen, when you asked me to do this podcast, I'm like, do I feel like having a bunch of headlines out there? I'm like, I would really like to do this podcast.

I love Kristen. But like, do I feel like having a bunch of page six daily, but whatever the fuck says, take what I say out of context. And then everyone, no one bothers reading it. No one bothers listening.

And then they all go and comment. And then that actually turns into a full blown story. And then that becomes part of your fucking identity. Yes. It drives me insane. I hate a fucking headline. The amount of people who think that I think that Ozempic is a vitamin. Oh my God. I'm so fucking glad. This amount of people who think that I think that Ozempic is a vitamin. Oh my God.

Okay, wait, hold on. I'm so fucking glad this is the one that I chose. So what I'm going to do with a lot of my guests, I'm going to read a headline and I want you to clear it up. Say what the fuck was really going on. Okay. Yes. Because I hate them.

Okay. So the headline is Stassi Schroeder really wants to try Ozempic after giving birth to second child. You're a liar if you tell me that you have not thought about it. OK, well, like, I love the honesty. You're quoted, too. No, yeah, like technically like that is what I said, but it was all in jest.

You know what I mean? Right. I'm sitting here talking about Ozempic, the Ozempic craze. It's fascinating. I want to learn more. Yeah. If you tell me truly, though, though if you tell me that you hadn't thought about it

you're a liar which by the way I love because again you're saying what we're all thinking everyone's at home googling it

and then at the same time they're like I can't believe Stassi said that but you're googling it right now I know you are you're joking sarcasm does not translate

which I learned at a young age it definitely does not but you and I are both very sarcastic. So we're just fucked. We're fucked. So on that note, I might as well just go on Ozambic now. Fucking do it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. I'm also going to get Botox because everyone fucking thinks I have anyway. So here I fucking go. I'm just kidding, you guys. I love you so much. I appreciate you being here. I love seeing you crush life. Thank you. Good luck with your second baby because this is one chick. It's real. This has been so fun.

Oh, wait, wait, don't tell me that. No, two is definitely a harder jump. That's whatever we know. Like, seriously. So my TikTok journey isn't about dating advice. It's literally so much of it now is about how zero to one was fine. One to two, your fucking lives are over. Buckle up, baby. And I'm so scared. Two is hard. My second also, he had really bad allergies.

He had really bad eczema. So I think he was just so uncomfortable the whole time. So he was, it was tough. I know I look back now. I'm like, it breaks my heart. It's so sad. So sad. But hopefully yours will be better.

What is your, what is the age difference between? They're all about a year and a half apart. Oh. Yeah, no, we were like, boom, boom, boom. How old is your daughter? She's two and a half. And do you know what you're having? A boy.

Oh, amazing. Are you so excited? Ridiculously excited because like, I just really want to be the favorite. You know, like Hartford is a daddy's girl. Love their mom. That's what I hear. And I'm just, I'm craving that. You know, I just would like life to be about me for a little while. I don't blame you. And by the way, that's going to be a headline. It totally is. But go ahead, run it. But what I was going to say is when the boys are little, they're obsessed with the mom. Like they want to cuddle all the time. My boys, my oldest is about to turn 11 and then nine, how they are with me now is even cuter. They can text me now

and they like send me love letters. And I'm like, who needs a boyfriend when you have two boys? I'm like, look how they talk to me. I'm like, oh my God. So I need this. Like it's going to be the best thing. My self-esteem needs it. Hundred. Fill up my love cup. I don't need it. I literally don't need a guy. I have Jackson and Camden. I've got two men. Yeah, they're more mature than the most men I've dated.

Anyways. All right. Tell everyone where they can find you. At Stassi Schroeder. Pretty much everywhere. You can listen to my podcast straight up with Stassi. And yes, I have a podcast with my husband called The Good, The Bad, The Baby on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Stassi.

I think that's it right now. Amazing. I hate pimping myself out. I'm so bad at it. I feel like such a douche. I do too. I'm sorry I made you do it. Does anyone at the end of the podcast

actually write that down? You know what? At Stassi's show. Is it two S's? Does anyone like, you know, I think I'm going to look that up. No, you know what? Just erase everything I is it two S's do you know like does anyone like you know I think I'm gonna look that up no you know what

just erase everything I know I guarantee people actually do but it's so easy to find people now that it's like I know but anyways

it's good to just I think the podcast names are important great so there you go great alright I love you thank you so much

for being here thank you Kristen I got all the power. Yeah, I got all the power.