Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Solving Listener Dating Scenarios — Part 2

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

We're back with more listener scenarios and ladies... I can't believe some of the things you are going through! Let's break down guys making excuses for us not to meet their friends, staging coincidental "run-ins", living with someone before marriage, what you have to do to bag the musician, looking through their phone, how to ask out your gym crush, what to do when he flakes on you, your partner being friends with the opposite sex, and what to do if your boyfriend won't post you on socials.A word from our sponsors:Hiya Health: Get 50% off your first order when you got to hiyahealth.com/HONESTSkims: Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS-4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows Our Place: Go to fromourplace.com and enter my code HONEST at checkout to receive 10% off sitewide. Our place offers 100-day trials with free shipping and returns. Bon Charge: Go to boncharge.com and use code HONEST to save 15% off my favorite Red Light Face Mask and other wellness products.Hero Bread: Keep the carbs out of summer without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your order at hero.co and use code HONEST at checkoutFor more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I'm your host, Kristen Cavallari, and we're back for part two of Listener Scenarios. So last week, talked about some situations you guys are in and hopefully helped answer some questions for you and figured some things out. So we're going to do a part two because I had so many good ones that I couldn't, it was really hard to narrow down. And then even from there, I couldn't just do one. So we're back with more situations. So

again, thank you guys so much for submitting these. I am going to keep everybody anonymous because most people requested that. And I just appreciate you guys, you know, being so vulnerable with me and allowing me to discuss these on the pod. So let's get right back to it. Okay, here we go. Situation for Let's Be Honest. I'm also divorced with kids, but found an amazing guy 10 years older through mutual connections right after I separated. Friends think I'm rushing, but I know what I do don't want, and marriage was over long before it was over. How do you tune them out? I think every marriage that ends in divorce was over long before it was over. No one woke up one day and said, you know what? I think we should get a divorce and filed that day. I mean, people, for the most part, fight for their marriage

for a very long time. So I get it. I get it. Most marriages are over way before they're over. And I agree with you that I think after you've been married and you've had to work through it, try to fight for it, try to figure it out. You really do walk away from that knowing exactly what you do and don't want. I do sometimes think a lot of people end up going the opposite way, which I also don't think is good. So I think if you can, okay, well, there's a few things. I think you always need time alone after any relationship, especially a marriage though, especially if you're together a long time to reflect and really move through it because yes, while a marriage was over, I totally get that. I still think you need alone time outside of the marriage to really process

it and really reflect. That's my personal experience. And really, I say that because I jumped from one thing immediately. I dated one guy for like five and a half months, and then I dated someone else immediately for about five, five and a half months. And I didn't process my divorce and really work through it until those two things had ended. And then I sat in it. But at first it was like, oh my God, this is so fun. Like it's been 10 years since I've like dated and have fun. And like I had a little bit of freedom back and like I found myself again. I can't imagine, imagine being with either of those guys still. I am a full believer in rebounds. I am.

And I know sometimes it works out and there's always exceptions to everything. Okay. But I am a big believer in having some real time to reflect, to really close that chapter and then moving forward. But in the same breath, I do think that if you know, you know, I think even in the midst of me dating these two guys, I knew this isn't going somewhere. I wasn't like, these are my forever. It was fun. And I knew that. So I think in your gut, in your soul, you know that this guy is the one and then go for it. And even if you don't, fuck everybody else. It's your life. I will never understand why people get so worked up about somebody else's life. Yeah. Are there kids involved? So it gets a little

tricky. Sure. But you can keep them separate. Even if you don't, fine. It's your journey. It's your life. What works for you isn't going to work for somebody else and vice versa. And that's okay. So I, with all that being said, I am a big, firm believer in trusting your gut, really tuning into yourself. And if you know this is what you want, then fucking go for it. And don't care what anybody else thinks. But the only way other people's opinions are going to really affect you is if you are not 100% confident in your decision. So really check in with yourself, really tune into that gut and see if this is really what you want because otherwise their opinions will affect you. Just saying. How to deal with a man who tells you he loves you and

sees himself with you, but he has three kids and is scared to leave his baby mama. Girl, what are we doing? What are we doing? No, you're that girl right now. And I get it. I always thought growing up, cheating was the worst thing on the planet. Like, oh, like I could never forgive someone. It's so much more complicated than that. And I know there are so many situations people didn't want to end up in. The older I've gotten, the more I just get it. I know it's a really tricky situation. However, you're being that girl. This guy is with his baby mom. It sounds like they're not married, but he has three kids with this woman and they're together. He's not leaving her. He's not going to leave her.

These guys will say all of this shit to get you to keep sleeping with him, but he's not leaving her. He's not going to leave her. These guys will say all of this shit to get you to keep sleeping with him, but he's not going to leave her. If he was going to, he would have, or you have to say what we're doing is so wrong. I feel really guilty. Figure your shit out and then call me. But if you're going to stay with her, I can't partake in this. You have to be the bigger person and say that. You have to be. Because right now, you're making women look really bad. And if the roles were reversed and someone did that to you, you'd be fucking devastated. Devastated. Us women have to stick together. These guys are going to do and say whatever they have to to have their cake and eat it too. He's got the best of both worlds right now. Why the fuck would he leave?

Unless you put up a boundary and say, hey, listen, I know what we've done. You know, it's bad. It's bad. And it's really affected me. And I'm feeling really guilty. And I can't continue. You have to. You have to. That's the only way there's an out in this situation. Advice on a guy I've been seeing, but he keeps making excuses for me to meet his friends. For example, says I'm too cold and he doesn't want me to scare his friends away. Guys, guys, what the fuck are we doing? Girls, girls, girls. No. What the fuck? No. I'm sorry. No, goodbye. That is such bullshit. That's gaslighting at its finest. Oh, now you're the problem. No, this guy doesn't want to bring you around because he probably has

a girlfriend or there's another girl or there is something going on. I don't trust this guy at all. That is the most bullshit thing I have ever heard. Fuck this guy. You guys, we have to be better than this. Ladies, we have to be better than this. We are not letting guys get away with this guy. You guys, we have to be better than this. Ladies, we have to be better than this. We are not letting guys get away with this bullshit. No, this is insane. This is insane. We're done with him. Goodbye. I can't meet your friends because I'm cold. Goodbye. Nope. Nope. That's bullshit. Girls, we need to start calling men out on their bullshit. Okay. Question for the pod. So background, I swiped on Tinder on this guy I had sex with 10 years ago. I was blackout drunk, popped up. He is seriously the sweetest guy with no red flags. I bet you don't remember it. Okay. I swiped right, but there was no match. Now I can't get him out

of my head. Do I just contact him? What do I then say? Or do I try to mastermind a coincidental run in? And then what do I say? Do either way. I got to do something. I'm only used to charming the bad boys and I feel like charming a good guy is less bitchy. Don't know what to do help. Okay. First of all, we're not doing, we're not doing anything. I listen, I don't want this to come off the wrong way. You sound fucking crazy. This is crazy behavior. If he didn't match you back, is that not, was that not a sign? Like, I don't know. No, we're not planning run-ins. We're not DMing him or whatever the fuck, reaching out on Tinder. No, no, we're not doing any of you guys, girls, girls. We have to be better than this. We're not doing, no, no, we're moving on. That's what we're doing. And you know what? I guarantee

I guarantee if you actually hung out with him, you probably wouldn't even like him right now. You're obsessed with him because he's unattainable. He's out of reach. So you've put him on this pedestal because you can't have him. We don't want him. If he doesn't want you, you don't want him. That's our motto, guys, girls, whatever. If they don't want us, we don't want them. It's that fucking simple. Guys will let you know if they want you because guys chase. They go after what they want. Trust me on that. You will be confused if a guy doesn't like you. If a guy likes you, you will know. You will know because they will be texting you. They will be trying to hang out. None of this bullshit, no excuses. And listen, I've had both. I've had the bullshit excuses.

They don't. They're keeping you as an option. They're not interested. No. You will know if a guy likes you. And we're not going to great lengths to run into somebody that we had sex with blacked out 10 years prior. The girl, no. No. There are plenty of good guys. We're not behaving like that. We're not behaving like that. Okay. Single mom, been dating a single dad for four plus years. Our girls already consider themselves sisters. We live separate and both rent. Our places aren't big enough to have one side move in with the other. He thinks living together is a must before proposal marriage, but wants to buy, not sign another lease. I'm nervous to buy with someone that hasn't proposed or shown that lifetime commitment yet. Thoughts? I totally get where you're coming from. I totally do. I am in the

camp of living with someone before marriage. I just am because I don't think you really get to know someone until you live with them. And yes, is it a little more complicated because there's kids involved? Yes. But don't you also want to know the dynamic with the kids too? And just, I, and I know not everybody agrees with this. I think you should live together before you get married. And I think you don't buy the house together, right? I think you have to decide who's going to buy the house so that it is in one person's name in case it doesn't work out. But it sounds like if you guys are both able to afford your own homes, then it sounds like, let's say he bought a house and you moved in with him. If shit hit the fan and you needed to move out, it sounds like financially you would be able to get

another place for you and your kids. So I think it would be okay, but I, I'm going to side with him on this one a little bit, but I just think, I don't think you should buy it together. I don't think you should buy anything like that together unless you are married. Even then it still gets complicated if you get a divorce, but I just think have one of you should buy it. So then that person owns it. And whoever doesn't own it, well, you just know, worst case scenario, you might have to move out and get your own place. But I just think, yeah, no, you have to live with someone before you get married. Sorry if you guys don't like that. All right, you guys, let's talk about a brand that you know I love, and that is Skims. But today,

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be a onesie girl before and I've never found the one that I like, but the Skims soft lounge onesie is a winner. I've been wearing it at home and while running errands. It's so light and cute. The perfect outfit for summer. It also looks great with a jean jacket on or really any kind of layering piece. So trust me, guys, you're going to want to check it out. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com. Now available in sizes extra, extra small to 4X. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that I sent you. So after you placed your order, select podcast in the survey and select let's be honest in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, here's another brand that I love and that's Our Place. This is for all of my cooks out there or for people who just want non-toxic pots and pans in their kitchen So i'm really excited to talk to you guys about it. You're already cooking healthy, but is your cookware healthy, too?

That's a huge question You guys know i'm a health nut when it comes to basically everything in my life and the kitchen is definitely a place that I Think is really important to swap out for clean, non-toxic kitchenware. So that's why I love Our Place's non-toxic, healthy, sustainable choices. Not only are these toxic-free, but they're really beautiful and they have great colors. These are also pots and pans that you're going to want to leave on your stovetop. You guys, something to note is that Teflon and Forever Chemicals are one in the same. It is the Forever Chemical that most companies are still using. Our Place is healthy and PFAS-free versus the rest of the industry, basically.

So I can't say enough good stuff about them. They have cookware, but they also have really great appliances. And the appliances are the categories where a lot of other brands definitely use Forever Chemicals the most. So upgrade to Our Place today and say goodbye to Forever Chemicals in your kitchen. Go to FromOurPlace.com and enter my code HONEST at checkout to receive 10% off site-wide. That's from our place.com code honest. Our place offers a 100 day trial with free shipping and returns. Okay. Kristen, I need your advice. This is a long one. Okay. Ready guys? Crushing hard on a guy that doesn't live here. I met him in January at a music festival and didn't know who he was. At that time, he was pursuing me hard,

kept popping up where I was and complimenting me, hitting on me. Then poof, he left. He's a popular DJ. I know, I know. I've seen him two times after the music festival. The last time this past week, my girlfriend and I surprised him. We hooked up after he took me to dinner and I watched him play his set. We ended up ironically staying in the same hotel. He gave me his number and I've been trying to play cool and not be a fangirl. I figure if he's into me, he'll chase me, right? He's currently traveling around the world, but said he wants a relationship and family.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I can't seem to shake this guy and I don't really like a lot of guys, but I'm very attracted to him and I don't want to pursue anyone, anything else. I'm too hung up on this guy. Let's keep shit really real right now. I think if he wasn't a DJ, you would not be as into this guy. I could be wrong. But if this guy worked at, you know, Ace Hardware, would it be like this for you? Because I've been there. I think that lifestyle is really attractive and it's really fun. And going and seeing him play his set. Like it's really fun. And I empathize with that because I've been there. But if you were to take all of that away, would you still be hung up on this guy? And I think that chase is really exciting for a lot of us. It plays on our nervous system. I think we confuse attraction with that feeling. And I don't think he's into you

that much. And I'm not trying to be harsh. Guys like this, when they're traveling around the world and they have girls throwing themselves at them, he probably, guys, I'm keeping it real. He probably is talking to 10 to 15 girls right now and meeting new girls in every city that he's in. And so you also need to ask yourself if you would want to date someone like that, because that would be a very tough lifestyle. I think for even the most confident, the most self-assured women on the planet, that would still be very tough. I actually think for the most confident, the most self-assured women on the planet, that would still be very tough. I actually think for the most part, you would have to be okay with him doing God knows what on the road because that's just how it is. So I think you need to take a step back, take this guy off of the pedestal, which, girls, why are we putting

men on pedestals so much? I think we need to ask ourselves that. But I think, yeah. I mean, if he has your number and he's not texting you, yeah. And it's not even like he doesn't like you necessarily. I just think his lifestyle, when you are traveling that much, going to different cities, meeting new people, it's whatever's right in front of you. That's how these guys work. And listen, because I've been on movie sets and I've traveled and I've done my fair share of it's different, but like that kind of stuff, it is very much what's right in front of you unless you really like someone, but I don't think you guys know each other enough, right. To, to feel like that. And I think too, if he, the first night you guys hung out when he was, you know, complimenting you and all this, and then he was just gone. If he was willing to leave without having your number in any way of getting ahold of you,

I just, guys are not, if a guy really likes a girl, he's not going to let that happen. He's not going to let that happen. And I would want to know about you surprising him. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that, guys. I don't think we should be doing these things, you guys. Girls, girls, I don't think we. I don't like that. I don't like that, guys. I don't think we should be doing these things, you guys. Girls, I don't think we should be putting ourselves in these situations where we look a little crazy. Okay. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I don't know. I like that he took you to dinner. Did he take you and your friend to dinner? I don't know. I feel like I also don't like that you hooked up with him. I don't like that you did that. You want to know why I don't like that you did that? Because every girl hooks up with him. Girls, if you want

to bag the musician or the DJ or whatever, you can't sleep with them right away. You can't because every other girl is. You've got to make them chase a little bit. You got to act like you actually don't really give a fuck. So no, don't text him. Don't text him. Don't be that girl because every other girl is doing that. You've got to be different with these guys. Ladies, these guys have every fucking girl throwing themselves at them. So how can you be different? Don't do that. Make him chase you. I think, again, let's take these guys off the pedestal. When you get to know these people, actors,, musicians, DJs remove all of the glitz and the glamour. They're not that great. They're really not. They're not that great. So let's keep it in

perspective, gals. Okay. Anyways. What to do when your husband puts a passcode on his phone, then deletes his Instagram and Facebook when you ask to see his phone. I don't like that at all. Well, this sucks. I think if you are wanting to look through their phone, that's indication numero uno. That maybe something's a little off. Something's not right. There's a reason why you don't trust him, right? That's the first thing. And if he is deleting his Instagram and Facebook so that you can't see them, well, I can tell you right now, that's not good. That's not good. The fuck is he messaging people? Who is he talking to? Shady fucking boots, man. I don't like that at all. So I think you need to figure that out. Trust is the most important thing to me. Without trust,

there's no relationship. Every relationship is built on trust. And without it, it's really hard to have any sort of foundation. My guess is there's bigger things going on. But yeah, no, that's shady as fuck. Let's put it that way. I don't trust this guy at all. You already know that. You know that. We know that. Us women know these things. We have this intuition. We fucking know. So listen to that. Okay. Kristen, how do I ask out my gym crush? Oh, this is cute. You don't. What you do is, well, I mean, you could. I know we're living in this society now where girls can ask out a guy. I get all that. But I think you just make really obvious hints that you like him. And then I think you let him ask you out. That's what I would do. So what does that look like? It looks like at the gym, let's say he's lifting weights. You go

next to him and you say, Hey, how are you? You know, like you like just start a conversation, maybe ask him. So say, ask him to spot you, but I wouldn't do that. Hey bro, can you spot me on this? I would just start shooting this shit. And then, you know, smile at him when you guys make eye contact, like start there and just work up. And then I think if he, so listen, I think a lot of times guys just need an invitation. They need that open door to be like, oh, okay, she's into me. And then they should take the lead, right. And take it into their hands. So if you are very friendly with him, if you're smiling at him, if you're like, Hey, how are you? Like there's nothing wrong with a girl starting a conversation. Right. But then once he has that invitation, I think it's up to him then to ask you out. I just do.

And you could even kind of start that conversation of like, do you have any fun plans this weekend? Or like, you know, like opening up the door that way. Or even if it's like, you know, some of my girlfriends and I might be going out. Like, I don't know if you guys get a wild hair, you should come meet us. I think that is okay. Rather than like, Hey, would you want to go out sometime? I would never, I would never do that. I know I go against the grain on that, but I wouldn't, I would, I would play it more in that route of like, Oh, well like a big group hang, like a fun, you know? And then if that's what ends up happening, there's not as much pressure. I'm totally cool with the first time hanging, being a group hang. And then you can

see if you actually want to go on a date with that person. I think that's kind of like best case scenario. Kristen, I'm just starting to date again and desperately need help. I'm a 26-year-old girl. Do you sleep with someone on the first date? How do you gauge a first date and if a guy just wants to sleep with you or if there could be something there? Was talking to this guy for months, really excited. Then we met and he just wasn't very nice. Still slept with him and now I'm left feeling like that was all he wanted. Said he'd reach out when we're both back from vacation. Do I just wait and see if he follows through? This breaks my heart. My heart breaks reading this. Listen, you can sleep with someone whenever

you want. I think, and I know that a lot of people who end up in relationships do sleep together on the first date. I, for the most part, don't think it matters when you sleep with someone unless they don't like you. Like the only time it doesn't matter is when, in most cases, I'm going to generalize right now, but when a guy doesn't like you that much, if you sleep with him immediately, yeah, he's probably going to be gone. But if a guy likes you, it doesn't matter if you sleep with him on the first date. And I know that's really hard to sometimes gauge, kind of like what you're saying. My rule of thumb has always been, you do not sleep with a guy in the first date. I never did. And so that was just, that was a hard line for me because of things like this, because I do think a lot of times for guys, it's about sleeping with the girl. It just is.

And then this happens. We get our hearts broken. We're devastated. They're not calling. No, you don't reach out to him. You don't. Because again, if a guy wanted to, he would, he, if he wanted to see you, he would. So this is a hard lesson, but we've all been there. We've all been there. And you know, especially the part that stands out to me was that he wasn't very nice yet yet you still slept with him. So I guess my question to you would be, why did you sleep with him? You know, if he didn't, obviously he's not very nice. So I'm assuming he made you not feel very good, but yet you still chose to do that. So I would want to look inward and figure out why, why we're sleeping with people that we don't think are nice. I just think we all need some standards, you know, of like, if you want to sleep with a guy, fucking sleep with a guy.

But ideally we would be sleeping with people who make us at least feel good about ourselves, you know, and it's really shitty because you said you guys were talking for months. So there was a lot of buildup. I'm sure you were really excited. I'm sure on the date you were probably really let down because he wasn't very nice, but like part of you still wanted to believe that it could be this thing. And it sounds like, you know, you even, you want to see him again, you know, but I think this is one of those situations where now we're not going to reach out. If he ends up reaching out to you. Okay, fine. If you really wanted to maybe see him again, but if he's not nice again, we're done guys. We need to have, we need to have some boundaries. If a guy is not nice and

making us feel shitty, we're not hanging out with him. Okay? Can we all band together? Can we only be with, sleep with people that make us feel good about ourselves? If we're having sex with people and opening ourselves up like that, they should at least fucking make you feel good about yourself, right? Be nice to be told you're pretty once in a while. You look great. You're so hot. You know, it feels amazing. Like, let's have them be sweet to us if we're going to be doing that. Okay. All right. Situation. Guy canceled an hour before second date because he slept in and was hung over. Do we give him another chance or ghost him? We are mid thirties, by the way. But no, bye. Bye. We're done. In fact, I think you could give a really sassy response.

He slept in because he was hung over and we're in our mid thirties. What? Okay. So no, I didn't even do that shit in my early twenties. Like I had, you know, I was like always pretty responsible enough to fucking wake up. And if I had something the next day, get my shit together. No, we are not giving him a second chance because you know what this says to me? It says to me, you're not that important, right? You're not a priority. Like he had a second date with you, but he went out and got hammered the night before. No. If I have a second day that I'm really excited about, I'm in bed early. I'm not drinking the night before. I'm getting my beauty sleep. You know what I'm saying? No, no. Guys, guys, we have to start being priorities and having boundaries and sticking to them.

You could be sad instead of, I wouldn't ghost this guy. Actually. I would, I would say something sassy back though. And being like, cancel. And an hour before the date, fuck this guy, because you've already gotten ready or you're getting ready. That's shitty. That's really shitty to do. I would say something sassy and be like, oh, thank God there's a party that I really wanted to go to instead of this date. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like I would say something sassy and be like, oh, thank God. There's a party that I really wanted to go to instead of this date. You know what I'm saying? I would do something in that arena. Be like, oh, what a relief. There's this party that I've been dying to go to. And I was kind of torn on whether I should cancel on you or not. That's what you say. But now this makes it easy. That's what you fucking say. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. No. Remember when I said match their energy? That's matching this douchebag's

energy. Please give advice on your partner being friends with the opposite sex, boundaries, and following girls on Instagram. Social media. You know, this, I know this can be tricky. It can be really hard. So I look at, when I try to think about like my boyfriend, for example, having friends that are girls, I try to think about me and I have guy friends. I do who I literally have no feelings for who I consider friends who I've been friends with for years, right? I also, in the same breath, understand that maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with them in the same way that I did prior to my relationship because I wouldn't want my boyfriend going to lunch with a girlfriend, right? I don't know. It gets a little tricky. I think you can be friendly. I think if you're all hanging out,

that's great. I guess I would want to know how long they've been friends for, if they ever hooked up. There's so many factors that go into it. In a general sense, yes, I think we can all be friends with the opposite sex. I think it's when you put yourself in a situation that you know is disrespectful to your significant other that gets tricky tricky. Like if you know your guy friend likes you and you're hanging out with him, I'd say that might be crossing the line. If you're questioning it to yourself, I would say it might be crossing the line. But if you're just like, this is one of my good friends. We've been friends for 10 years, like never had any feelings for each other. Like that's, then that's different. Following girls on Instagram, I got to tell you,

I think whatever happened prior to the relationship is one thing. But once you're exclusive with someone, if they're following a bunch of random new girls, no, that is a red flag. That is a massive red flag. It just is. Because why? Why are you following a bunch of girls? And again, guys, we'll try to gaslight us all day long, you guys, girls, ladies, that it's not a big deal. If it's not a big deal, then why are you doing it? I'm not following a bunch of random dudes. And I don't think you'd be very happy if I was. It's a respect thing. Guys need to start growing a fucking pair and just being a man and stop following all these girls. And it's okay for us to get upset about it. It's a very natural, normal thing. And they try to make us feel crazy for it, but fuck them. That's gaslighting.

That's gaslighting, girls. Girls. Okay, guys, let's talk about hero bread. Summertime right now, bread is an essential for all of our burgers, our hot dogs, even sandwiches. But just because it's summer, it doesn't mean you have to cut out all the carb-heavy foods that you love. Hero Bread reinvented the bread and buns that make summer great. Fluffy, delicious flavor and texture with no net carbs, zero grams of sugar, and fewer calories, plus protein and fiber. And now you can try their sweet melt-in-your-mouth Hawaiian rolls for guilt-free summer sliders. Guys, I love Hero Bread so much. It really is light and fluffy,

has really great taste, and I love knowing that there's protein and fiber in my bread. We've been making a ton of sandwiches for lunch because they're just easy. If you guys know Hawaiian rolls, you know how incredible they are. I grew up eating those things. I haven't had them in years, but now I have. Thank you to Hero Bread and they are just as good as you remember them. They also make tortillas, which we love. We do a ton of quesadillas. I feel like quesadillas are always the go-to last minute. I don't know what to make, but we always have stuff on hand. And again, they have the same texture as the tortillas that you know and love that maybe

aren't so good for you. So that's why I love Hero Bread so much for their peace of mind while still getting that really great carby taste that we know and love. Another great thing to do right now for those lazy summer mornings is making French toast with their bread. So freaking good, you guys. You have to try it. So keep the carbs out of summer without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your first order at hero.co and use code HONEST at checkout. That's HONEST at H-E-R-O dot C-O. My fellow parents, you're going to want to listen up. I want to talk to you guys about Haya, which is a children's vitamin. Did you guys know that typical children's vitamins are basically just candy in disguise filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals,

and just other gummy junk that growing kids should never eat? That's why Haya was created, the pediatrician-approved, super-powered, chewable vitamin. While most children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy junk, yet it tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. Haya fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full-body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love. Formulated with the help of nutritional experts, Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamin D, B12, C, zinc, folate, and many others to help support immunity, energy, brain function, mood,

concentration, teeth, bones, and much more. I love Haya so much because they're sent to your door. So it's one less thing we have to worry about. I also like to, when you first get them, they come with each kid gets their own bottle and they can customize it with stickers to make it their own. It's just kind of a fun thing that the kids enjoy doing. And you guys, I've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best-selling children's vitamin. You can receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash honest. This deal is not available on their regular website. So go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com slash honest and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy

adults. Let's talk about the wellness brand Boncharge. Boncharge is a holistic wellness brand with a huge range of evidence-based products to optimize your life in every way. Founded on science and inspired by nature, all Boncharge products adopt ancestral ways of living in our modern day world. Their extensive range of premium wellness products helps you sleep better, perform better, have more energy, recover faster, balance hormones, reduce inflammation. I mean, the list is endless. From blue light glasses and infrared saunas to red light therapy to EMF management and circadian friendly lighting, Bon Charge products help you naturally address the issues of our modern day way of life

effortlessly and with maximum impact. My personal favorite product from Bond Charge is their Red Light Face Mask. It helps with wrinkles and fine lines, sore jaw, eczema, migraines, even acne and scar tissue, wound healing. It's also just really relaxing. It helps with razor burn and ingrown facial hair. It really does it all. Red light therapy has been reviewed in over 4,000 peer-reviewed studies with 400 plus being double blind placebo trials. Not only do these studies show amazing health benefits, but not one has shown any negative side effects. Just 10 to 20 minutes each day. It's nice and easy to use. You can use it while watching TV, cooking, even putting the kids to bed. Both near infrared and red light, it boosts collagen and elastin production. It's super

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to save 15%. Bond Charge's products are H-A-S-F-S-A eligible, providing up to 40% off. Okay. Relationship question. Why is it so hard to like the nice guy? And how do you really know when you have found the one? I used to think it was like a nice guy thing too. I don't think it is. I think it's the nice guy. Because we all want to date someone nice. Like I would argue that all of my boyfriends were nice to me. I feel like if it's hard for you to like the nice guy, I would do a little soul searching into why that is. Like why are you drawn to the bad boy or the guys that are emotionally unavailable or unattainable? Because that is like, that's what I was drawn to for a really long time. And it wasn't until I did work on myself that I was able to draw in a nice guy, a really nice guy.

And when we say nice guy, like, here's the thing. Like Like I like manly men who are really in their masculine energy who, you know, can like fix shit in the house, who take charge, like a leader who can be really strong, like give off this like strong presence and energy, but they can be that and be nice. It's not like nice guys. I think in our heads, we equate a nice guy being like a dorky, like a little nerdy dorky guy. It's not. You can have a really tough masculine man who is really nice. Those can coexist. And I do think they're harder to find, but they exist. And so I think we have to like get that stereotype out of our head that the nice guy is not just doesn't, it doesn't mean a nerd, some like little nerdy guy who's just like so excited that he's with you.

You can have that energy and a really like hot masculine man too. So I would do a little soul searching of, cause I think, I think the nice guy is the emotionally available one and that can come in all shapes and sizes. I think what you're actually referring to is the unavailable, the emotionally unavailable men, which we call the bad boy. And that I would do a little soul searching of like, why are you drawn to that? Like, why are you avoiding intimacy sort of a thing? I had to work through my relationship with my dad to call in a nice guy. And then how do you know when you've really, how do you really know when you've found the one? You know, I don't know clearly, but what I have heard and what I

think is it's someone that you just quite honestly can't live without. And it's someone who makes you a better person who you, yeah, we're like, you want to, you want to be the best for them. And yeah, it's just someone you can't live without. I think it's that simple. I think sometimes, especially in dating culture today in this world that we live in, everyone has to overcomplicate things to justify their advice or their book coming out or their podcast or whatever. I don't think life is actually that complicated. It hasn't been for all of these years. And all of a sudden, we're trying to overcomplicate everything when it doesn't need to be. So I think it's that simple. The one I think is someone who causes you, doesn't cause you stress and harm and anxiety. It's someone that just is like really

calm. It feels like you're coming home. It's easy, easy in the sense where like a relationship is give and take. It's growing together. It's having those tough conversations. It's relationships are mirrors. It's going to show you what you need to work on. So it's not easy in that sense. But it's just easy. It makes you want to have those tough conversations and makes you want to grow and be better for the other person, if that makes sense. Okay. Advice, please. Should the dynamic change after you sleep with a guy? The guy I'm seeing isn't much of a texter, which has been totally fine. Mostly only texting to make plans. Should that change after sex or should I not get my feelings hurt if he's still not texting me much?

So I would say if that's his MO, if he's never been a big texter, then no. I mean, I don't think you sleeping with him all of a sudden it's like this magic thing and he's all of a sudden like the best texter. I think if he was a great texter, then no. I mean, I don't think you sleeping with him all of a sudden, it's like this magic thing. And he's all of a sudden like the best texter. I think if he was a great texter and then you slept with him and now he's not texting you, that's a red flag. But if this is how he's always been, no, do not get your feelings hurt. I actually appreciate that he's not texting all the time. You want to know why? Because then when you guys are together, you can actually have real conversations. Things are always taken out of context in a text. I hate having a real conversation on a text and I hate having talking all day. And then when you're together, it's like, oh, we've already talked about everything. So we've got nothing to say

to each other. I would try to look at it from a positive lens rather than a bad one. I don't think that's a bad thing. Again, if he was a great texter and then you slept with him and then he was a bad texter, that's a red flag. But if that's how he's always been, no, I wouldn't take it personally. And I don't think you should get your feelings hurt in that at all. Okay. Will guys ghost you if you can't spend enough time with them up front? Single mom, had a 23-year-old slide in, strong connection that one day just faded. Any advice to avoid this? So God, that sucks because you're a single mom and time is precious when you're a single mom.

And you obviously gave this guy time and energy and then it's really just kind of faded. So I don't think it has to do with you not being able to spend enough time with them. Because again, if a guy really liked you and you weren't able to spend a lot of time with them, it would only make them want you more. So I think let's look at it like this, blessing in disguise that you figured this out now, especially with a kid in the picture, instead of in a year, him kind of just all of a sudden out of nowhere, you know, ghosting in a lot of ways. And, you know, guys, he said strong connection that one day just faded. A lot of guys and girls will come on really strong

in the beginning, love bombish. And then they're like, I got what I needed. You know, I'm good on to the next thing. And as unfortunate as that is, it is just true. So any advice to avoid this? Take things really slow. Take things really slow in the beginning. Really get to know somebody instead of getting wrapped up in that like, oh my gosh, he loves me and I love him and that love mommy shit. And that's why I would wait to introduce them to kids for a long time. Also, your profile picture is so beautiful. You are gorgeous. So please know you're going to have men knocking down your door and we don't need to get hung up on this kid. Okay. Boyfriend broke up with me Saturday via

text. No explanation. No reason. We weren't fighting. We never do. It's completely out of the blue and don't tell me why. And it's ghosting me. Man is 43 years old. We were blending families, kids involved. What the fuck? I'm over him. I'm grossed out by this, but how do I get over how he did it? Like I'm still so confused and have no closure, which is making me angry and livid. Yeah, you should be angry. That is fucked up. Also, let me just point out this man's 43 and is acting like a fucking teenager. I see this. You just it. Yeah. Just had to throw that in there. So this guy's a little pussy. I'm sorry. I hate that word and I really never say it, but that he's a

little bitch. Maybe that's a better way to say it. This guy is a little bitch who can't face the music. He's a piece of shit for doing this to you, especially when you guys were blending families. Fuck this guy. You're not going to get closure. So you have to stop searching for it. The closure is, thank God you didn't marry this guy. And again, like, okay, thank you for showing me how this guy really is. Fuck this guy. I think you have to feel the emotions. You're going to be really angry for a long time. And this guy's a piece of shit. Thank God you're not with him anymore. That's how you have to look at it. Thank you for showing me how this guy is. And I'm really sorry that you're going to have to explain this to your kids. And this is shitty. People are shitty. People are really shitty. And that's a harsh reality. And

there's really not a lot you can say other than people will let you down sometimes. And that's just life. And we have to learn how to pick ourselves back up, move on and, and just, you know, know that sometimes we go through really shitty things, but we're so much better on the other side. How many times have you been through something really painful and hard? And then when you're finally through it on and on the other side, you look back and you understand why it happened to you, right? Everything in my life, that has always been the case, even in the hardest times. And when you really feel like you're not gonna be able to move on, you always look back and you get it. You really do get it. Okay. All right. Last one here. Modern day love story, dating for over a year and a half and boyfriend

won't post us on socials overthinking it. Or is there a reason he posted four times a year before we started dating how to approach and not seem superficial or childish So it sounds like he's not, you know, not a big poster So, you know, I can kind of understand but if you guys have been dating For over a year and a half and he's like quite literally said that he won't post you Yeah, I don't like that I don't like that because I think of a guy is literally saying no to posting you. I think there's a reason why they want to give the impression that they're

single. And for what? Why? You know? Yeah. Yeah. Especially if it's important to you. Like I could understand if he's just not a big social media guy, so he hasn't posted you, but if you've brought it up to him and you've been like, it's important to me because to me, it says that, you know, you don't want people to know about us or whatever it is. And then he's still not doing it. I don't like that. I don't like that. To me, that says he wants to give the impression that he is still single. And, um, I don't like that. I don't like that. I think at the end of the day, you guys, we have to trust our guts on all of this stuff is ultimately what it is. If you have this little thing going off in your head going,

I don't like this. It's not sitting right. You got to listen to that. We know you guys, we know we have really good intuition. So just remember that. You guys know this stuff. So I wish you guys the best of luck because some of this stuff is really shitty. So I hope you guys, you'll figure it out. We always do. But I love you guys. Thank you for submitting all of these. And yeah, we'll do it again. We'll do it again. All right. Love you guys.