Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Talking about Guys to Stay Relevant with Justin Anderson

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Justin is back to put me in the hot seat! He asks questions that cover trusting your gut, learning to say no, overcoming my biggest fear, what I want to be remembered for, handling criticism, and getting to a place of loving yourself. A word from my sponsors:YNAB - Listeners of Let's Be Honest can claim an exclusive three-month trial, with no credit card required at www.YNAB.com/HONESTBon Charge - BON CHARGE is having their coveted end-of-year sale, where you can save the most dollars all year! Go to boncharge.com and use coupon code HONEST25 to save 25%ARMRA - Go to Tryarmra.com/HONEST or enter code HONEST to get 15% off your first order.RItual - Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual's Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at Ritual.com/BEHONEST.SKIMS - Check out the Fits Everybody Collection at www.skims.com/honest #skimspartnerWayfair - Give your home the refresh it needs with Wayfair. Head to Wayfair.com right now. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.For more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in, guys. Hi. I feel like it's been a Yep. Welcome in, guys. Hi. I feel like it's been a minute.

Justin Anderson is here. I'm here. It's snowing outside. It is snowing. It's the second snow of the year for us, actually. But it's a beautiful little flurry. Yeah, nothing is sticking. I actually, I was worried this morning

that school was maybe going to get canceled because there's any sort of ice. Like, Tennessee is not prepared for snow. Chicago, this would be a joke, but Tennessee will shut down the schools. The whole city shuts down with a dusting of snow because we don't have the infrastructure for it. Ooh, I like that infrastructure.

Infrastructure for it. I also just like ate all my fucking ice. What was the word yesterday you were asking me to try to say? I was dying so hard. Wait, what was it? She was voicing, she was messing up a word like over and over and my head was like,

oh my God, just skip it. I know what you're trying to say. And then she like stopped the voice. I was determined. And then she texted me, she's like, can you pronounce that word for me? So that I wrote it back to her. What was the word?

This is gonna drive me. It's gonna be far back. It was so the dumbest word. It's one of the words that I mess up all the time, by the way though. Do you have any words that you always fuck up? I have to find this now. I can't think of the word that I mess up all the time,

but there are some. I mean, well, with my lisp, I mess up a lot. There's certain words that I kind of skirt around. I'll try and skip certain words. I really hope that we can find it. It was actually a word that like makes sense why it's kind of hard, you know? Even if I found out what it was right now,

I would still fuck it up. If we can find it. Oh my God, we text so much. It's actually disgusting. Territorial. Territorial. Oh, well, you just said it really easy, right? Yeah, I think because when I can see it...

Say the sentence, say, I am very guys get very territorial. She turned it back on somebody else. You're a sicko. You couldn't even say that. You couldn't even say I am. Well, I was using it in a sentence like I used the other day. Who are you talking about?

Every guy. Break it down. Break it down. Territorial. When I see- She could not say it in front of the life of her. I couldn't say it. I literally couldn't say it, but I don't even know how we just got on that conversation.

But yeah, so I thought today was gonna be a snow day. It wasn't, thank God, because it's the first day my kids have been back in school in like two and a half weeks. It was needed. Everyone needed to go to school. My kids have been fighting so much. You were saying that yesterday.

We went to dinner, it's like when she got there, Jackson and Sailor were like going crazy in the car, right? I didn't want them sitting next to each other at dinner because they were so cute at dinner. They were really good at dinner. They were really cute last night. They're like kind of at that age now where they're like, they're starting to feel like almost like the teen years. Yeah. Like they're fun. They're like part of the crew.

Everyone was really good last night. We did like a six. Well, we did amakase for my birthday actually. And it's, if you guys don't know what that is, it's literally a 16 course sushi dinner, but it's like one piece of sushi, like each course. But my kids sat through it. It's two hours long and they were so good. They're like little adults. Also, I think it's good. Like it's actually a good idea. Like for kids who need a lot of stimulation because there's so much to watch and it's like, there's always something happening. I was thinking about that with Jackson. You're waiting for the next thing.

It's actually really good. I have bad ADHD and I love those kind of meals actually because it keeps things moving. It's like dinner and a show. Totally. I love dinner and a show. Go ahead and eat more of that. Jackson lives for it. That's so cute.

What about Jackson? I'm looking for our next concert. Jackson is her kid. Like, I love going to concerts with him. It's like last night when he was like showing me all these concerts, the most random things to him. Like super random. He's like, let's try out to Chicago to see what was the name. I don't know.

I don't even know. It's like these young bands. And I'm like, no, I'm going to wait for like Imagine Dragons or whatever. And then Camden's like, let's go to SZA and Kendrick Lamar. OK, I don't know one Kendrick Lamar song. I only know like one or two, but I love SZA. I to SZA and Kendrick Lamar. Okay. I don't know one Kendrick Lamar song. I only know like one or two, but I love SZA. I love SZA. That's the girl, right?

Yeah, she's the girl. And remember, I think recently I was like, I don't know if I like her new album. It takes a minute and now I'm like obsessed. Really? Yeah, I'm obsessed. I fucking love SZA. I will go to that concert.

I don't think I'm gonna bring Camden, sorry buddy. You're so much cooler with like your music. I wonder if your kids help a little bit with that. You still have Young. No, SZA's not Young. My kids don't help with SZA. Okay, calm down, sorry. But the stuff that you said to me is so edgy.

You go out sometimes and you don't tell me. I feel like you're at underground club. No, you've seen my Spotify hours. All I do is sit on Spotify. I'm obsessed with music. Oh my god, you guys, Spotify will tell you how much you use it or whatever. We were all comparing.

Well, I don't use Spotify, but I use iTunes. Or Kristen's like you listen. You're you listen. Your phone is always playing Spotify. Music's always on because I don't listen to podcasts. Believe it or not, I don't watch TV. I don't do any of that. I like listening to music.

I felt like I just like sit down and listen to music. I'm like doing shit when the music's on, you know? But no, music for me is life. I actually don't listen to a lot of music as much as I love it. Like in the car loud, I love watching TV. Yeah, you guys are big TV people. I think you're a sicko for not watching TV.

I mean, TV's so good now. You're missing out on so many good shows. I'll watch it. I'll get into a show and then I'm like, I'm good for five months. What was your last show? I'd have to really think about that. What were some of the most recent? Gossip Girl.

How do you feel about Blake Lively? Just kidding. Don't go. Yeah, I'm not going down that fucking road. OK, but anyways, so it feels good to be back. And I'm excited that you're here. So Justin and I were kind of brainstorming fun things we could do with the podcast for 2025. And what we ended up deciding on today was, this is actually Justin's idea. Do you want to take the reins on this now? No. So we were talking about like, whenever we do it together, whenever I'm on her podcast,

we're like fun things that we can do. Like we want to like, we love like laughing, like jokes and stuff. So like our, some of our ideas like need a little bit more production. Right. So today we were just talking about, like, I'm like, let me kind of interview you in a way that I think like some of your audience would want to hear the questions. And we're just going to talk like friends or whatever. And I'm not going to let her give me like PR answers. Like, bitch, if you start doing that, well, actually like, and try to talk like

that, I'm going to leave, I'm going to leave. Like I talk like that. You can't. I don't think I've ever given a fucking PR answer in my entire life. No, you don't. That's not you. That's why I always get. But I think that you're also really smart at like avoiding questions that you don't want to answer. Or my biggest thing is like people think I'm out there talking a lot. I'm like, I'm actually not saying anything. I'm not saying it.

You think me saying one thing about someone is me. Oh my God. I actually that was me deflecting the fucking conversation. Yeah. And yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? I kind of get what you're saying, but no, I don't think that you. Well, like with like, you know, people are like, oh my God,

can't believe she's talking about that. It's like, trust me when I tell you, I am not talking about it. I didn't say anything. The things I could say, the things I could say about all these people that I'm not fucking saying. Well, and you get asked a lot of the same thing over and over.

So even if you do give the PR answer because you don't want to throw someone on the bus or you don't want to like talk about somebody, it still gets blown out of context. Yeah, it does. And you talk a lot, you talk a lot. Well, that's why I don't do a lot someone on the bus or you don't want to like talk about somebody, it still gets blown out of context. Yeah, it does. And you talk a lot, you talk a lot. Well, that's why I don't do a lot of other people's podcasts. Well, I think that you doing your own podcast

has changed a lot. Well, it has, because it's kind of, I was actually thinking about this the other day. I feel like my podcast is very similar to like when I was on TV, where it just like keeps me out there. And I think the biggest misconception about me is that people think I love the headlines and I love that whole world

I try so hard to not be in the headlines to dodge those things I say no to every other podcast I specifically do not put myself in situations where I know that's gonna happen I did end up going on bunnies podcast a couple weeks ago and that I love bunny and it's a respect thing and that's why I did it and that's why I did it. And that's why I answered. I said more than I probably normally would have out of respect for bunny because I fucking love bunny. Yeah. But she's good at getting like good answers out of people. She is. And you respect her. You love her. She's here in Nashville. So it

just kind of worked. But yeah, that turned into a whole thing. And then people like, oh, look, it like, that's why I don't do them because I know what happens. But to be outside people are probably like, Kristen wanted to go on and talk about those things. No, you're asked. And you're also like, you can't lie. I can't like if somebody is asking you something, you're going to be honest. And you didn't give any major details, whatever.

I just think that that's like who you are. Like that's you're just. Yeah. I want to hang out with us. Go do something. Go play in the snow. Yeah, it's also the timing of that. Like we had been talking about me going on her podcast for a year, a fucking year.

And it just so happened to be then after I'd been in the press a lot and like, I'm sick of me. Like, trust me, I'm sick of me. Well, right before we started this today, cause I was like saying to Kristin, I was like, I don't want to do any of those fricking questions that like create some sort of buzz like that. And Kristin was like, I can't be written do any of those fricking questions that like create some sort of buzz like that.

And Kristin was like, I can't be written about in the tabloids like for a while. The one thing I will say, so like the first year that I had this podcast, I, I learned how to like avoid a headline by like how I would talk about something. And I am good at that. I know how to avoid them if I really truly do want to. But then I got to a place I remember saying this to you where a clip of Laguna Beach came up on my TikTok. And it like kind of hit me where I was like, people fell in love with me for being outspoken and saying what's on my mind. And I felt like I had gotten away from that because I was trying to play it safe so much to avoid headlines.

But then I did kind of shift my energy of like, I'm just going to be me. I'm not going to give a fuck. And it's sort of now I'm like, this is why it's been a lot. The last like three or four months has been a lot in the press. And I don't like it. That's actually a good point. I think that's something that is a good save right there. Cause I also kind of was thinking

while we were talking about this, I'm like, people are gonna think like, cause we've said this before, we're like, Kristen avoids the tabloids or whatever. And I think to the outside world, they're like, well then why didn't she stop talking? I don't think people would really get it unless they're in the situation that you're in. Cause you do say anything and it turns into something, right? But you were recently being like, I've always been this person, though.

If somebody asked me something, I'm going to say what's on my mind. I don't hide things like whatever. And you did it a little bit more. And then you. And then it's been a shit store. I mean, so now it's like, OK, maybe we can find a happy medium. But I was playing it safe for a while. Here or who cares? Other than your mental health. Yeah, I just it's just it's a, okay, maybe we can find a happy medium. But I was playing it safe for a while. Or who cares? Or who cares? Other than your mental health.

Yeah, I just, it's just, it's a lot even for me. When you wake up and people are talking about you. And like some of the headlines are just, it like pushes it too much. I'm like, did I actually fucking say that? I guess I did, Jesus Christ. But like, you know, as a mom and stuff too, I don't know, like the headlines most recently definitely pushed it. I was actually kind of surprised the headlines could say the things that they did. Like about the F word and stuff. Like, I don't know, I the headlines most recently definitely pushed it. I was actually kind of surprised the headlines could say the things that they did.

Like about the F word and stuff. Like I don't know. I just thought it was a lot, but whatever it is what it is. I was just playing it safe for a while and that's not me. So anyways, here we are. Here we are. We'll see where this one goes. Yeah.

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be sure to let them know that I sent you, you guys select podcast and the survey and be sure to select let's be honest in the dropdown menu that follows. All right, let me pull up my notes a little bit. Okay. So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to let's be honest. Lesbian honest.

Lesbian honest with your two favorite lesbians, Justin and... Kristin! Patricia Elizabeth Cavallari. Wait, let's start off with that. Did you guys... Have we ever talked about this on your podcast? I don't know. Wait, do you guys know that Kristin was almost named Patricia? Patricia.

Like her name... Your mom told me this story and I don't think I've ever belly laughed harder. We were at my house in the kitchen and your mom was like, well, you know, I almost named Kristen Patricia and I fell over. I thought it was the funniest thing in the world because here's the thing, think about this. Your whole life would have been different if you were a Patricia.

My whole life would be different. Hey guys, it's Patricia Cavallari and you're watching MTV. Like you would. I would never have been different. If you were a Patricia. My whole life would be different. Hey guys, it's Patricia Cavallari and you're watching MTV. Like you would have been on TV. I would never have been on TV. But big no way. Well, they'd have to call you Patty. Ew!

But like. Patti Cavallari. But you know what I was thinking about? You probably would have changed the trajectory for all Patricia's. You're right. Patricia's would have kind of been cool. I still can. Because Patricia is one of those names.

I mean, that's the generation above us. There's no Patricia's that are millennials or younger. I think that name is gone. Imagine you meet a 15 year old and she's like, hey, I'm Patricia. There's no way. Like that name doesn't happen. A baby, you're all, this is Patricia.

It's so weird how like certain names are like in certain time brackets, like actually Justin and Kristen very millennial. Are there any 65 year old Kristen? No. Maybe they're all like, oh, well they wouldn't spell it. Or 10 year olds. Yeah.

No, I don't think so. Or Justin, do you know any 70 year old Justin? No. Justin Timberlake was like the first Justin born. I think it was like. 70 year olds are like Bob and like, Bill, Tom, Patricia. If your name was Trisha though. Oh my God.

Trisha. Trisha's cute. Well, I love Trisha. I would have been Trisha. There's a girl named Trisha Paytas who I'm obsessed with. I would have been Trisha or Trishy. Trishy sounds like trashy. But Trisha Cavallari, I would have been Trisha. Or Trishy. Trishy? Sounds like trashy.

But Trisha Cavallari. It would have changed everything. My whole life would have been ruined. It literally would have. Okay, so we're just gonna ask some questions. And then, you know, it's funny, I always think about like with you, people don't realize how deep you are, bro.

People think I'm a dumb ass. No, I don't think people do not think you're dumb. There's nothing, well, no, actually people would love to be like, she's just a dumb blonde. Like people who don't know you, but I don't think people who pay any attention to you think you're dumb. But I don't think people know how deep you are. Like you and I dissect shit for a long time. Well, I take it too far. You always take it too far. I take it too far. But we, but we love getting deep. We love getting really deep. And I think that's also obviously like obviously like why we're really

close and why we talk all day long. Yeah, because we're solving the world's problems. We're solving problems all day long. But then beyond that, like when we're together, like if we have like a little bit of drinks in us or whatever, like you and I like dissect shit. Yeah. But I feel like with all the stuff you do, like a lot of people don't get like the really deep side of you. Yeah, that's true. So I'm gonna get deep, bro. Not even that deep, honestly, it's just conversations that we can like chat and elaborate on things. OK, there's no particular order to these. So I didn't go importance to not important.

Let's just kind of go through it. All right. So one of the most incredible things I think about you, this isn't me reading the script, it's me trying to stay ahead. And also bear with me, I have really bad ADHD. Whoever is editing this, you might have to edit it down quite a bit. Okay, one of the most impressive things for me about you is your ability to make quick decisions. Was it always there? Was it learned? And when was the first time you were like, wow, trusting my gut really works? Oh my god, I love this question. Okay, so yeah, I'm super decisive. And in fact, my team at Uncommon James has always told me that too.

So it's always been there, but I definitely had to learn how to trust my gut. And that is just through trial and error. Then anytime I didn't listen to my gut, my gut was always right. And I'd be like, okay, I have to always trust my gut. I didn't really like hone in on it, I would say until the last like 10 years.

Really? Yeah, but honestly, it's my biggest compass. It's my biggest tool now. Not only, but I for the most part just listen to my gut on things. Do you feel like you learned that from like finding fame at such a young age? Because I don't know, the way you make decisions is really impressive to me. I just know what I like or don't like. Yeah.

And you're really good right away being like, no, that doesn't work for me. You don't ever like, because you know, most people are like, oh, should I do that? Or what do you think about that? Like you never play that game. I'll tell you why, because when I do things to please other people or whatever it is, it fucking eats me alive.

And I can't sit with myself then. So I, yeah, I've created boundaries for myself and I live my life for me. And, you know, obviously with kids, like there's a gray area there. Yeah, I've created boundaries for myself and I live my life for me. And you know, obviously with kids, like there's a gray area there. I can't just like live my life for me with my kids. But in my social life and my work life and everything, I've been able to get to a place luckily where I can say no to a lot of things.

I think learning how to say no is one of the most important things people can do. I totally agree. It's the hardest thing for a lot of people. I mean, that's like the biggest boundary too. Yeah. Okay. Teddy is digging holes. Teddy! Teddy! No! She just said no. Saying no is the most important thing. That's my boundary, Teddy. Digging holes in my yard. Look at him.

He knows what's up too. Oh yeah, he knows. Okay. Here's another thing. My goodness, I wrote these like a four-year-old. You know what I'm saying? Did you come up with these or did your Instagram followers? Or both? No, no, I didn't put this out to Instagram. Remember I said to you, because I was gonna say to all of our friends on Instagram,

I was gonna be like, what do you guys want me to ask Kristen or whatever? But I just had a feeling coming off of like the last big podcast you do, it would all be about guys or whatever. And it's like, can we talk about something else for the love of God? I love it.

You came up with these. You had to do a lot of work. Oh my God. And they're all very catered to you, to how I feel about you. You did a little prep work. And things that I want people to know about you. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, I really want people to see like lots of sides to you.

Okay. Oh, okay. Making experiences happen for yourself is kind of like this thing. I think you're really good at making experiences happen. And here's where I see it all the time. We travel a lot together. And you know how sometimes you'll go on a vacation

and maybe you just like lay by the pool or you just like do the spa stuff or you like have a long meal. You are like the queen of like experiences. And Scoot and I talk about this all the time because like we go places, you wanna go skeet shooting or whatever the fuck they call it.

And like, you wanna go out and like do all these activities and explore where we are. I didn't do that for a long time. Like, okay. And so my question with that is, is it purely selfish to experience life and have no regrets later in life? Or is it about having the time with the people you love

or a combination of both? Like, what do you think your passion for like wanting to go out and like experience so many things? And I'm not just talking like skeet shooting or whatever. You're big on experiences. I am and I wasn't always like that either. I was the queen of going on a beach vacation and not fucking getting up from my beach chair all day long. So this isn't the last again, probably like six, seven years, but I just I've gotten to a place where I want to experience everything out there. Like I want to when I'm dying, I want to be like, cool, I got to see the world. I got to do all the things I want to experience everything out there. Like I wanna, when I'm dying, I wanna be like, cool,

I got to see the world, I got to do all the things I wanted to do, like I just like having experiences. Like that's what I wanna spend my money on. And so when, especially traveling, like I'm all about a beach day, but then the older I've gotten, the more I just wanna like get out and experience whatever that town or city has. Cause a lot of people don't, I mean, I know a lot of people

do that kind of stuff, but I think most people, when you travel with your friends even, it's like, let's get drunk in the pool and just like sit around. Yeah, like I'm over that, you know? And you're very good about, okay, like, okay, tomorrow's schedule is, and at first I was like, what the fuck is going on?

Like we start- You guys could just get drunk all day. We could get drunk all day. I can't do that. And like, we could just like lounge and like, we, whatever. But like, you're good at that. And it's like, and now it's changed me. Like when I go on vacation, like, I want to have like an itinerary.

I want to like experience things when I leave a city, I want to really feel like I like took it in, you know, and saw things, whatever. Cause like, I don't want to go to Stockholm and then be like, I didn't even see Stockholm. Like I don't even know what Stockholm had to offer. We've gone to the coolest places. We've gone to some cool places.

Okay. This one's a fun one. Okay. Do you think in general, do you think your very first love sets the tone for your romantic life? Or do you think that's a thing? Like the first time you feel love or get your heart broken, does it have a big impact on how you view love in the future? I love this question. I think it can. I don't think every situation is the same, but I think it definitely can. If you really got your heart broken, I think it can. I don't think every situation is the same, but I think it definitely can. Like if you really got your heart broken, I think it can definitely make you have walls up

and it can change you. And I think like each experience that you have in love will change you. They all do. So if your first one is heartbreak, okay, but then maybe your second one, someone teaches you how to like let down your walls a little bit so you soften a little bit more.

I think like each one molds you. What do you think? No, I'm totally with you. But I think it's really interesting because well, for me, I mean, I was gay and so I was trying to pretend I was straight in high school. So like my first loves were always like girls. So it was again, more like a best friendship. You know, it's a mind was always like that. It didn't feel real. Right. But I always think about those things. It's like you could like, I always think about like, the first time a girl gives herself to like a guy and she's young, it's like the responsibility

that that guy carries to really kind of like, and I'm not trying to get too deep, but like set the tone for the rest of that girl's life. Like if you took a girl, we can just talk. If you took a girl's virginity, right? Then you just totally ghosted her. Like that's all you wanted. Like that could fuck someone up for a really long time.

100%. Or even, it doesn't even have to be the first romantic love. Like a parent could fuck up your idea of love for a really long time. Well, I was just going to say, because like going into your first relationship, typically it's like you're not jaded at all. You're just like coming at it from like a place of pureness,

unless you've had a really fucked up relationship with a parent. Right. You know what I mean? But I mean, I had fucked up relationships with both of my parents and I still went into my first love with Johnny. Like totally open and willing and able

and like just like out of like pure joy and love. Like I wasn't like, he's gonna break my heart. Like there was like no worry about my heart getting broken. It was just like, we were just in it. And we were just like experiencing it together for the first time. Did Johnny break your heart or forget? So Johnny- That was the one he moved.

I moved. I moved and he- Except for Kelsey. Lainey. Lainey, that bitch. No, Lainey's chill, right? He hooked up with Lainey like immediately, and that fucked me up.

And then I dated this scumbag. I think he was a senior. He had a tongue ring, like ew. And I remember my stepmom even being like, Kirsten, like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm what? Because it like fucked me up. And so I think when you're young,

the only way to get over someone is to like get with someone else. You know what I mean? There's no healing or reflecting. But you think about that thing when you're so young and the first time you really like, not even sex, just kind of trust someone enough to be your boyfriend, even if you're like 13 or 12, it could either ruin you or it could set up your life to be beautiful as far as love goes.

Because I think your first heartbreak hits like no other. Like the first time you get your heart broken. That's why I never wanted to feel that again. So I decided to break everyone else's heart. Boom. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Like you were protecting yourself. It wasn't a conscious decision. I didn't figure that out until recently.

Whoa. Yeah, I never wanted to feel that again. I was like, I will never feel this again. And so I'm going to break your heart before you can break mine, which is my whole life since Johnny. So you've always wanted to be in the driver's seat since then. And to be fair, I would want to hear Johnny's side of it, too, because he may say I broke his heart, too. I may have broken up with him before I moved.

Like, I don't you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. But because there's two sides to every story on tour. Come on out, Johnny. Johnny's coming to my show in Chicago. Oh, buy tickets to the Chicago show. Johnny, Johnny will be there. But I, and I guarantee, I mean, I don't know Johnny.

We've talked a little bit about this or whatever, but yeah, I bet Johnny loved you. And also like you're so young, but I'm not even thinking about Johnny. I'm thinking about like you, your experience can change from like just whatever happens with that. And it's so interesting. I I'm not even thinking about Johnny, I'm thinking about like you, your experience can change from like just whatever happens with that. And it's so interesting, I think, like later in life.

I do think actually, if I'm being honest, the first time I had like a gay experience, I mean, it was bad, I'll be honest. Remember I hooked up with like a tennis instructor? Oh yeah, oh my God. I hooked, you guys, I wasn't even 16. This is like bad, and by the way, like, yeah. He was 38. That was my first gay experience. And by the way, like, yeah, he was 38.

That was my first gay experience. And here's the thing, when I think about that, it kind of gives me chills or whatever. That's disgusting and the most creepy thing ever, but thank God he didn't do anything weird. Cause that could have changed everything where I didn't trust, whatever. It could have been worse.

It could have been so worse. So thank God. Okay, that's weird. And I've like also tried to like look for him. I was like, no, I, whatever. Really can't find worse. It could have been so worse. It could have been so worse. So thank God. Yeah. Okay. Ew, that's weird. And I've like also tried to like look for him. I was like, no, I, whatever. Really can't find him anymore.

No, nothing. Okay. That's bad. If the next 10 years of your life were a chapter in a book, what would the chapter or what, what do you see the chapter being about? And you're all about, Kristin's so good about kind of manifesting

and setting the tone for where she wants things to go. And it does really good for you. But what is the next chapter of your book? Oh my God. The next chapter of my book would probably be called cruise control. Well, I say that, but then I see like big things popping for me in the next 10 years. But overall, like life is really good. You know, like I feel really lucky. My kids are at such great ages. The most important thing to me right now is just like being at every basketball game and like being at all their things. And I just want to like keep that going. Work is really good. I don't have to bust my ass anymore, but I have the podcast and Uncommon James and those are just like steady, which is great.

And then, you know, I would like to get married again, for sure. I would like to meet the one and get married. I'm in no rush, but I do. I do see that happening. It fucking better be in the next 10 years. Isn't that such a good place to be, though, where you're kind of at that place for like cruise control is a good way of putting it like you just want to like, I'm so there, bro. All I want to do is enjoy life now in every aspect. Like, I just want to laugh. I want to like appreciate the things that I'm so there, bro. All I wanna do is enjoy life now in every aspect.

Like I just wanna laugh. I wanna like appreciate the things that I'm doing. Like I did all that dick grinding in business for so long and you're chasing. And then you get to a place where you're like, I really wanna enjoy now. And I also know it's a privilege to be in a spot where like, you know, I started doing like real estate stuff

at a really young age. And I always thought about the future and I always knew my dream was to really slow down later in life and like really enjoy things. And it's funny, like you and I kind of have that same philosophy on life. Like I want the next chapter of my life to be like really chill. So I love that. Yeah. I love that for you. This isn't about me. Shut up, Justin. Be quiet. No, we're the same person. So.

Okay. This one's fun. And I want to know this about you and I want you to be really honest because I'm like curious, you know, if you like if you were Patricia, you know, and we're going to be each never happened. Okay. If failing didn't matter and making or losing money didn't matter, what would you work on doing like a dream you'd love to chase if you had nothing like absolutely nothing to lose? You have really good questions. There's nothing that I haven't done that I wanna do. I think for me, like putting myself in situations where I'm nervous and I'm fucking scared and I have to overcome a fear is huge for me.

My podcast tour, I will be so fucking nervous. That's a big deal for me. I used to have such a fear of public speaking. And in the last couple of years, I've forced myself to be in situations where I've had to like overcome it. So I do feel like I'm like pretty good now, but the podcast store is different, you know? I'll be nervous for that.

But I've done a lot of cool shit. I've kind of like done a lot of things. Well, I think that's what I'm actually trying to get at sweetheart is like, like, it doesn't have to be cool. Like what if it was like, but there's everything I want to do. I do. Do you know what? Does that make like, there's nothing that I'm like, I'm not scared of rejection or money.

I would do something. Starting my own business, scary as fuck. I did that. I've written books by myself. I've hosted big red carpet events. I've done live TV hosting Paradise Hotel on Fox. Those have all scared the shit out of me and I've done them. And so like, I'm really proud of that. There's nothing on my list. I want to open up a coffee

shop, but that's not like, there's nothing that I'm like dying to do. Actually, that's interesting. Yeah, it's true. Like you really have done a bit of, I feel the same way too. I think that looking back on my life, I think my life was bigger than I ever imagined it to be. I feel really content. But when I ask that question, I think about, is there anything that like, I think what I've missed out on in life is having the really simple time of life. Like I look at people who, like a pilgrim

or like an Amish person or whatever. And sometimes I'm like, I wish I could do that. You know what I, who I'm jealous of like all the time, like I go to the same like Starbucks coffee all the time whenever I get actual Starbucks. And I see people like working that they're like really happy I know it's not like a dream job or whatever But like I've never been in a work situation where it was just like clock in clock out And then your life is kind of chill then you go home and you like don't have to think about work till the next day

You clock in or whatever like sometimes I fan fantasize about like having a real simple life. Everything I've ever done was over the top. The celebrity hair, starting businesses, like trying to buy and sell real estate that would make me a lot of money. And I'm always like stressed and crunching numbers and all that stuff. And it's not something you can just like leave at the door. Exactly. Yeah, that makes sense. I get that. Well, that's why I think even with the podcast and everything else, like I just took the last few weeks off. I took last summer off basically. Like I have to do that for sense. I get that. Well, that's why I think even with the podcast and everything else, I just took the last few weeks off. I took last summer off basically. I have to do that for me. Otherwise, I would never stop. Well, maybe now you're kind of just doing it then. Now you're just kind of going into that slow enjoy your time right now. Yeah. And I'm figuring out how to make

this all work for me while still getting a break. I guess that question is good for better for people who like maybe feel more stuck. And what would you do if you could do anything that you want to do? Maybe younger too. I don't know. And just going for it and making it happen. That makes me feel really appreciative for everything I've done in my life. Again, like when I look back at my career, like I've done really cool stuff. And it's more than just like cool stuff. It's stuff that's like really pushed me out of my comfort zone. Dancing

with the stars, literally I thought I was gonna shit my pants. I stuff that's like really pushed me out of my comfort zone. Dancing with the stars, literally I thought I was gonna shit my pants. I've never been so fucking nervous for anything in my entire life. You guys have to go back into YouTube because it's the cutest thing ever. You were so cute actually though. Thank you.

I've never been so scared. I was like, I'm gonna forget every step. I was like, I don't know. Like you're like, my mind is gonna go blank. I was so scared. Don't you think it's so good to do that kind of stuff though to push yourself, like to get out of your comfort zone?

Like when I tell you, like even growing up, I had like, if I had to speak in front of the class, I had anxiety for weeks. I couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to puke. Like this has always been a fear of mine. And in the last couple of years, I can finally like do it and like be okay. And it's like a huge fear that I've overcome.

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That's T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A.com slash honest. Okay. What do you want to be remembered for? I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest.

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I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. I always like thinking about like, what would people say? Who would cry the hardest? Like, yeah, a hundred percent. What would I say? At my funeral. He wanted to go a long time ago, you guys. He was tired. It's all right. He was achy.

You would pat me in the casket. He's happy. He lived a real long life. He never stopped talking. Man, the guy's brain never shut off. I'd be like, now we can go out late. Yeah. Justin always wants to go to bed so early.

No, but like what do you want to be remembered for? I want people to remember me for going after what I wanted and like living my life for me. And I hope that I can be an inspiration for people to chase their dreams, do what they want to do, be unapologetically themselves. That's important to you, right? It is important to me. I think authenticity is important to me. So I think everyone should just be authentic. Be you. Live your life for you. Can I tell you something really quick? Yeah. You've done that, bro. Thanks, bro. That's like what you're known for, man. When people talk to me about you, they're like, she just makes me feel like I can do anything. Like you've done that for people. I had a woman come up to me at Whole Foods the other day and I literally almost started crying,

but she was like, you helped me get through a breakup like you've been there for me and I was like I needed to hear that so much because like if I can make a difference in one person's life like fuck okay and it's so easy for me to get hung up on like oh the fucking headlines and people don't think I shut up but like I think the people who love me really love me and that's why I've had a career for 20 years and that means a lot that I can like actually help people in some little way. And the rest of the people who like complain about it, like, first of all, that's just dork behavior. Like you're not happy, you know, if you're like being like, her again,

why is she talking? Because she's human and someone asked her a question. I know. And my thing is like, when people follow celebrity gossip, and then they're like, oh, she doesn't shut up. It's like, you follow celebrity gossip. Like, if you don't wanna see some people, don't follow this. It's so true though. My goodness, just let people live. Like, go away.

The only way she's stayed relevant for 20 years, she's talking about guys, partly true. What should we remember it for? We'll do a montage. Back in all the hotties. At your funeral, I we'll do a montage. I'm going to do a montage of your men and like the headlines. That's basically my podcast. Oh, my God. That's right.

Yeah. Oh, OK. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What's something about your personality? OK, let's go deep here for a second. What's something about your personality? Okay, let's go deep here for a second. What's something about your personality that you've thought maybe you should work on, even if it meant kind of changing who you know yourself to be?

Okay, hold on, I'm gonna give you a real answer. I feel like you have one for me. No, not necessarily. Well, no, I think as your best friend, I have things that I wonder if you would want to, but I don't want you to change them. I wonder what you think, cause I know my things for me,

like, you know, patience or like my things, but yours, I'm curious. Cause to me you're perfect. Thank you. I agree. No, I used to, my fuse used to be really short and I've had to learn over the years to like take a fucking breath as a mom, but even in relationship, you know, I used to always feel like the worst was going to

happen or like I always had to be on the defense. Like people were always attacking me and I had to learn that's not in fact the case. Like I've done a lot of work on myself over the last few years. Had you asked me this five years ago, I would have had a laundry list for you, but I feel like, Over the last few years, had you asked me this five years ago, I would have had a laundry list for you. But I feel like, I mean, as a mom, I could have more patience sometimes. But like, I think I do a pretty damn good job as a mom. You know, like there are things I could work on.

But as far as like a personality trait goes, I don't, I'm like thinking of things, but I'm like, I don't actually think I would change that about me. Like I can be, it takes a minute for me to warm up to people. I wouldn't change that though. That's like.

You think it takes a minute for you to warm up to people? I think it can. I'm always shocked how comfortable you are around people immediately. Really? I think that's like one of the weirdest things about you and I. Oh, interesting.

Like when we meet people, you and I are so comfortable right away. You are. You think I am too? It depends on who it is. No, I think you 100% are. It depends on who it is. Yeah. Not that you would like let down,

you're just so like warm and smiling. Well, I'm not a bitch. Yeah, I'm not a bitch. I don't open up to people. It takes a long time for me to really open up to people. No, you're definitely guarded. Even as like one of your closest friends and we've become so much closer

after like the past six years or whatever. But yeah, you always definitely like had a little boundary or put like a guard up, but like I loved that about you. It was so interesting. But I think that like that's like your little armor or whatever. I have to. Yeah. And you've been hurt in the past. Yeah. You know, like you could have been walked all over. And people do take advantage and people do fuck with you still, you know, especially with guys. Oh, yeah. I mean, well girls too. No, I've had people just burn me a lot in the past. So I wouldn't change that. It's not ideal, I mean, well girls too. No, I've had people just burn me a lot in the past. So I wouldn't change that.

It's not ideal, I guess, but I'm not. It's funny too, because even with that, like I was kind of thinking it's like if you don't really have anything to change about yourself, like, because even all of our quirks and stuff like make us who we are. That's what I mean. Yeah. Like, yeah, because sometimes I would say things like I wish I didn't talk so much or I wish I wasn't so like, I didn't.

And I'm not saying this to act like I'm the sweetest person on earth. I wish I didn't care about other people. You're a major empath. Yeah. And I'm like a people pleaser. Yeah. So those are things for me. But if I change those, I wouldn't be the same person.

Exactly. So with you, it's like, I was wondering if there is something because I actually. Well, I think I could be better at asking people for help like that. But that's not like a personality trait. That's just think I could be better at asking people for help. Like that. But that's not like a personality trait. That's just something I do need to work on. I think especially in relationship. Yeah.

All right. I'm bored with that question already. Okay. Would you say that not caring what people think or say about you has a lot to do with your years of success? Like if you spent time caring how people would react to what you did, would it have held you back from winning. I think there's a part of that. I think my whole life trained me for that too. Like even before I was on TV, you know,

I was the girl that people always taught, like people always said shit about me. Like that was just always a part of my life. And I was always a new girl. I moved around. So I experienced a lot of new schools. I got thrown in situations so I had to learn from an early age how to have a thick skin, how to deal with people just judging me, criticizing me when they didn't even know me on a smaller scale obviously. But like people in school deal with that all the time and so and then obviously being on TV just you know multiplied it by a bajillion. I do sometimes care what people think about me. I'm not like completely cut off from it. Well, even being in the headlines a lot in the last couple of weeks.

And if I do read comments, I get like, that's like stressful. And I know where it comes from. I know people who tear other people down. I know where it comes from. I've dealt with it for 20 fucking years, but it still is not, I can, it still will sometimes hit me, you know?

And again, it's because the people are like, she doesn't shut the fuck up. So it's like, you don't understand my side of it though. I think it's like when you, you don't know, like people don't know what they're talking about. That's where I get like, you don't understand though. Well, and with that, I think like, what is the opposite that like,

you're supposed to just disappear? Like, I don't understand. Like I have a podcast, I'm making money. This is how I make a fucking living is my podcast. Like I don't. But I think that that's the thing too. It's like, because I'm always shocked, like you just keep going. I notice as your friend, like how much pushback you'll get on things. You get so much love and you get so much attention and people, you know, people who love you, they love you or whatever. But like some of the pushback, it's so fucking weird with you, dude. People either love me or hate me.

It's always been like that. But it's 100% because like something about you triggers something in them. Otherwise, why would you care? I have never scrolled social media and wanted to say something negative because I just simply don't care. If somebody said something that I 100% disagree with,

just keep scrolling like I disagree and keep scrolling. So it's like I think that it's always something like when you trigger something in somebody. And I know that I do know that I also think people think that I'm like loud and obnoxious. Do you know what I'm saying? That I'm like I'm so not that I actually fucking hate attention. If you guys can see me in my everyday life like I go to the grocery store looking like a fucking bum like I just rolled out of bed like I'm trying to like blend in. I me in my everyday life. Like I go to the grocery store looking like a fucking bum. Like I just rolled out of bed. Like I'm trying to like blend in. I never in my life try to stand out ever. Hot chicks can do that. Tail is all this time.

You just like a. I'm surprised the girl recognized me that whole foosy other day. Kristen, is that you? I swear to God, I actually think she's, she was like, you're Kristen, right? But I, I don't know. I think it's just like that misconception. It does get to me sometimes. I'd be lying if I actually think she's like, you're Kristin, right? But I don't know. I think it's just like that misconception.

It does get to me sometimes. I'd be lying if I said it didn't. I think you're better than most people because I think that that is why you had like, that's why you've had like the staying power of like, you've had like a 20 plus year career because I really think at the end of the day, like you don't-

I can let it roll off my back. Yeah, this stuff doesn't keep you up at night or whatever like, but I do think like, it's like a boxing ring for you. Like every single day sometimes with the shit that's happening, you know? And like- Lately it has been every fucking day.

Yeah, like I think you handle it really well. And as your best friend, are you getting emotional? No. Oh my God. I get so excited when you get a little bit emotional. My kid's like, are you crying? I'm like, no. What the fuck?

No, but you get a lot of shit. But I think that it never knocks you down. You just keep going. You keep doing your thing. And I'm sorry, but can we just be honest for a second? You're really fucking interested. Even if you were like, she's annoying, like whatever. Because like you're like, so the typical,

we're both fucking annoying. If somebody just like dipped in on our conversation, we're like the most annoying caliph. Like we say like so much. Like I get that much like I get that we're deep. OK. But the thing with you is you're really interesting. I think people are always like, what's she going to do next? Like, who's she going to date next? Like you're kind of like you're a wild card, but then you're also so grounded and like all the things that you've done are very strategic. Like you've always really taken care of yourself. You've made your life like amazing. Like you could have been a flash in the pan, bro.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, and I remember when I first came on the scene, people were like, enjoy your 15 minutes. It's been 25 years. Okay, bitch, I have. And then some. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think it goes back to that authenticity piece. I think the people who know me, they fucking get it, you know? Well, and the reason I bring that conversation up is not to like, I mean, I don't know. I think it goes back to that authenticity piece. I think the people who know me, they fucking get it, you know? Well, and the reason I bring that conversation up is not to like, I mean, I'll hype you up every single day of my life, but like for people listening is I really think that there's something important

there like you have to just be you and do what you want to do. And everyone always says that. It's not like exciting advice or whatever, but it's like, I really think you do a good job at just like doing what you want to do. And it's like, I really think you do a good job at just like doing what you want to do. And it's like, you throw stuff out there, you say things, and like, you're not gonna let people

like beat down your personality, you know? Like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've always been me, you know? I mean, and it can, it's not to say there hasn't been hard times and stuff, but yeah, you can't. Well, cause at the end of the day I've always separated myself from Hollywood. Like to me, it's always been a fake world.

Like none of that's real. Like at the end of the day, like the headlines on social media and like, that's not real. Like if you just put your phone down and you go out into the real world, like that's what's real. Hollywood's not real.

A red carpet's not real. Like I always was like, this is such a fake weird world. Everything online, I have just started realizing, not just started realizing, but like really made a mental note of it. Like the elections fucked me up. Like during the elections, I was reading everything online. I was like going like left, right, center,

like reading everything and it was making me crazy. And then all of a sudden when you, I really tuned it out, like scoot and I made a thing like no news on in the house. Like I'm not looking at anything that I scroll up there talking about politics, wherever like swipe by it. And the same thing with like, it's so easy to get like sucked into that vortex, but then when you put it away,

like the world's fucking normal. Like is the point, I think they want us to be sucked in and just become dumber and dumber. A hundred percent. Like put your phone down. So that we just start like, because that's the- Or robots.

Yeah, and when you start paying attention to all those things that, first of all, we can't change. Like it's gonna happen. We're on a ride. We're not stopping the ride or whatever. But like the more we fight or whatever, then they can just control us. They like that.

Put the phones down. Yeah, and stop fighting with each other also. That's the dumbest thing too. That's why I think I just like hate all of that. It's just like the amount of hate on the internet is so gross. And there's a lot of love too. I mean, I, you know, but it's given unhappy people

a place where they feel a connection to other unhappy people and then they feel like validated. And that's a really dangerous slippery road I feel like. Like, why aren't we like being happy and building each other up? Also like, again, put your phone down and go outside, go ground, put your feet in the grass. You'll feel better. You know what I mean?

These fucking haters. Totally. Okay. Well, then that's good for our last question here. Okay. Do you love yourself and how did you get there? And or how do you plan to get there? I think you love yourself. If you're there, is there any advice you can give to people who have a hard time loving themselves or putting themselves first?

Solid questions, Justin. A plus on the questions. I do love myself and that hasn't always been the case. I'd say in the last five years, that's what I've done is I have found love for myself. And I think love for yourself comes with knowing really who you are, getting through hard times, trusting in yourself that you're capable of a lot. Like having that faith in yourself of like, look what we did. Like, look what I did. You know what I mean? Like hypnotherapy was huge for me of like loving myself because it really worked

through a lot of my trauma that I hadn't worked through yet. But journaling is really important. Our Bufo experience was life changing for me. Like, can you tell me why journaling is important? So, okay. It's interesting. I was actually just talking about this with someone else, can you tell me why journaling is important? So, OK, it's interesting. I was actually just talking about this with someone else. So I've always loved journaling. I even in my early 20s, I used to go out to the club and get fucked up

and I would come home and I would journal. And those are some of the most insightful journal pages because like you could. And I would be like, I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, I'm so unhappy. And it's just like you could like see like I was going through be like, I don't know what's wrong with me. Like I'm so unhappy. And it's just like, you could like see, like I was going through it and I didn't know why. I've kept a diary since eighth grade and like,

it's just wild to go back and read everything. But I think like, so during my divorce, you know, that's like a pivotal time in someone's life. It was the first time in my whole life, I didn't go to therapy. And instead I like read books, I journaled, I did the hypnotherapy, I've like done all of this stuff, but, and it was the best work I've ever done.

I think sometimes the best work is just with yourself, but journaling, like if you don't think, and you just write, like the shit that comes out, and I think the most important thing is getting shit out. Getting it out of your body, because otherwise emotion stays in your body, and then it harbors in other ways, and you know, and then you can learn a lot about yourself,

quite honestly. Like go back and read it. Yeah. She turned that into a book. I'm gonna turn that into a book. A self help book. Kristen's guide to loving yourself. No, but I mean, I think there's a lot of,

it's powerful. Meditation I think is huge. Love yourself, what did that feel like for you? I was partying my dick off. So what you were afraid, like I don't know where this is going. I don't. No, and it wasn't even a conscious thing.

It was more just like I was looking to fill a void in every area with guys partying, shallow friends. Like I'm my party friends in LA in my early twenties. And it was just to avoid. Isn't that why like LA is so scary? Like I'm not an LA hater. I grew up in Southern California. I love parts of California.

When I say LA, like Hollywood in particular, there's great people in Hollywood. Also, I never want to talk shit because there's great people in Hollywood. But the overall, like it is so, like if I had a kid who wanted to move to Hollywood, the way that I would handcuff that kid to my driveway and be like, you're not going anywhere near that town

because you, thank God you were strong. Because even with you, the way that like, it kind of like tore you down a little bit or like the relationships you think are normal in Hollywood. So many lost souls. Yeah, and like the after parties and just the nasty weird things. The more you're there, you start to think that it's normal. Yeah. And it's like, you have to be a strong person to get through Hollywood.

Completely. I mean, you see it all the time how Hollywood just destroys people, you know, and we think like, oh, they were they had an addiction or like whatever. They didn't they didn't make it in the business or whatever. It's like, no, that town will fuck you. That town will literally actually kill you. Like it takes the strongest person and like, I don't know, the friends thing is like a real thing too. Like, when did you say like, looking back, you know,

cause we both had our twenties in Hollywood and I look back on people I used to hang out with in my twenties that like, I couldn't even sit in the same room with now. Like the conversations and the things we used to talk about, like so vapid that of course we were binge drinking and just getting fucked up so we could even get along with these dorks that we were hanging out,

not dorks because they're supposedly the cool people or whatever, but it was so shallow and not real. And now later in my life, everything about what I want and I know you want, it's like, I want depth and I want connection and I want, and if I don't have that with someone, not to be rude, but I don't want to be around them. Well, right. That's how I am. Maybe we really value it so much now too, as adults, because we didn't have it. You know, because everything, oh, and that's not to say like a lot of my

good friends, you know, have been in my life for 20 years, but there was a point in my early 20s where I kind of distanced myself from the good people because I was partying so much and I had like my party friends and you know. So you didn't want to be judged. Yeah, it was like an insecurity. Well, and deep down, we loved to party, bro. It'll always be. I like no regrets there though.

No. I feel like I'm so glad I got all those years out of my system or whatever, because certain personalities, you really have to do it. I loved to party. I was watching this movie the other night. I immediately texted Chris certain personalities, like you really have to do it. Like I love to party. I was watching this movie the other night. Like I immediately texted Chris.

I'm like, you have to watch this movie. It's the most fucked up movie ever. It's called like a Nora or something, but it's like a party girl thing. And I'm like, Chris, you have to watch this. It's gonna make you want to party so hard. I'm gonna watch it. But I think that you'll always have that.

Well, that's why I loved like Euphoria. You know what I mean? Oh my God, that show was so good. By the way, like that was what Laguna Beach High School was like. Oh, I believe it. Like we were like that. When everyone's like, oh my God,

I can't even believe what I'm watching. I'm like, no, that was my high school. Oh, I believe it. Yeah, like bad, bad. But again, like I don't regret it. You know, I was a willing participant in everything I did. But anyways, well, this was fun. Those were really good questions.

And I appreciate you taking the time to do that. No worries, solid. That was sweet. Thanks, bro. Yeah, shocker bro. You really gave me all that I wanted. That was incredible. I can't wait to have you back next time.

Maybe she'll be back on the show next week. Patricia. Patricia Cavallari, ladies and gentlemen. Signing out. All right, I love you guys. ["I Got All The Power"]