Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - The Break Up

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

Join me for a hard conversation about Mark and I breaking up. I'll dig into why we broke up, remaining friends, and if I'll start dating again.A word from my sponsors:SKIMS - Shop SKIMS Bras at SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A-46H). If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.Farmer's Dog - Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/honest. Bon Charge - Go to boncharge.com and use code HONEST to save 15% off my favorite Red Light Face Mask and other wellness products. Tonal - Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code HONEST.Smartwater -  Life's full of choices. Smartwater is a simple one. Visit drinksmartwater.com to learn more.  For more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. And if you are watching the video on YouTube, which by the way, I've had a lot of people DM me. Every episode is always on YouTube. It's just delayed slightly with getting up on YouTube. Every video, every episode I should say is always on YouTube. So you can definitely watch them. But I was going to say, if you're watching the video, then welcome to my new house. I

am currently sitting in my half empty kitchen. And actually, there's just boxes stacked everywhere. So I just moved into my new house a couple of days ago. I told you guys I will have a podcast studio. It's just not done yet. I'm waiting on the furniture. So in the meantime, until that happens, so probably for a couple of weeks, I'm going to be doing the episodes from my kitchen or just wherever. My kitchen I'm finding has the best light though. It's very open. It's very airy, which is what I like so much about it. There's just a ton of natural light, but I'm so excited that I'm in my new house. And what I did was I moved in on a Friday. I powered through the whole weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. All I did was unpack and I'm completely unpacked. I'm so happy about that. The kitchen is set. The kitchen was the

biggest part of it. The kitchen is such a nightmare, unpacking every dish and every cup and every little thing. So that was the first thing that I did. Friday night when we got in, my kids were all so excited. They're all doing their own rooms, which is great. It's so much easier moving when your kids are a little bit older. I hated moving with babies because they can't do anything and just staying on their schedules and just like all the things. I hated moving with little kids. but now that my kids are older, they're in there doing their own rooms, which is great. So I tackled the kitchen Friday night and I literally looked at my phone at nine o'clock

and I was like, holy shit, it's already nine o'clock. I was like, I'm going to bed. But I just powered through. I live for this stuff. I love organizing. So this has been fun. I love, you know, putting everything where it's going to go. But you guys are going to die because if you listened two weeks ago, I had a story about my carbon monoxide detectors going off at my old house and how the four different rescue squad cars came. It was a whole thing. So you guys, I told you, I don't have carbon monoxide detectors in my new house yet. I am getting them. It's literally written on a piece of paper, like right over here. It's on my to-do list today.

You're going to die. Okay. So Saturday night. So the second night that we're in this house, I haven't, obviously I wasn't cooking yet, right? You know, we were just doing like Uber Eats and whatnot the first couple of meals. So I hadn't, I hadn't even turned on the oven yet. Okay. So Jackson, Saturday we finally, I went to the grocery store and I got one of those rotisserie chickens. And that night we ate it for lunch and whatever. And then that night Jackson was like, Hey, can you warm up some of that chicken for me? So, okay. Yeah. I turned the oven to 350 and I put the chicken in the oven and you guys, I was like, okay, the oven was making a lot of noise, but you know, this is my first time using the oven. I don guys, I was like, okay, the oven was making a lot of noise, but

you know, this is my first time using the oven. I don't know what's going on. I open it up and there are flames, like crazy flames on the side of it. It looks like a massive fire is happening in this oven. And it's so hot, like so hot that it like made my eyes water and kind of made me jump back a little bit. And I was like, this just can't be right. I turn it down. I turn it down to 300. I don't know why I thought that would do anything. But all of a sudden, the entire kitchen smelled like gas. And I'm going, this can't be right. It also heated up so fast. Like, I'm not kidding. Three minutes. So I was like, this, this isn't right. I turn off the oven and I'm like, okay, the, I opened up the door. The gas smell is not going away. I call my mom. Thank God for moms, you know, because I feel like anytime there's

like a house situation, I always call my mom. So I call my mom and I'm like, mom, is it normal for the oven to smell like gas? Like a really bad though. And she's like, you know, if it's the first time the oven's being used, maybe, but I'm like, but it's, it's a, the whole, the whole kitchen smells like gas. Now my whole house kind of smelled like gas. And so I'm kind of freaking out. Okay. I get my boys. Saylor was at a friend's house. She had a sleepover birthday party that night. So I grabbed my boys and I'm like, we can't be in this house. Like, that's how bad it was. So we go into the guest house and I call the Lee company, which, you know, they deal with basically everything in your house. And they're like, it's Saturday night at 915 or whatever. They were like,

we can put you on the emergency list, but you know, it's going to be a while. I'm like, fine, whatever. Just put me on the, on the emergency list. Then they call me back and they're like, so we can't get a technician out there until tomorrow morning. All of our technicians are booked, you know, backed up until four or five in the morning. I'm like, fuck. They're like, you could call your propane guy. You can call your propane guy and see if they'll come out and just turn off your gas in case you have a gas leak. I'm like, oh my God. So I thank God because they're closed. It's Saturday night at nine, whatever. I had my propane guy's number saved in my phone. Thank God. So I thank God because they're closed. It's Saturday night at nine, whatever. I had my propane guy's number saved in my phone. Thank God. So I just texted him and I said, hey,

here's what's going on. He walked me through how to turn the gas off in my house. And as soon as we turned the gas off, the house started to, it just, it didn't smell that bad anymore. Obviously, there was a little bit of a lingering smell, but it wasn't as bad. So then I felt safe enough to sleep in the house because for a period there, I was like, well, we can't sleep in the house. I was like, I don't even know what to do. And I have a guest house, but it's a two bedroom guest house. One is going to be the podcast studio and one is going to be an actual guest bedroom. I don't have a mattress in the guest bedroom yet. It's being delivered tomorrow. And so I'm like, are the boys and I going to sleep on the couch in here? Like there's just like, what are we going to do? So anyways, we were able to sleep in the house. Thank God. And so finally my, my gas guy came out the next morning at like nine 30.

Thank God he was able to get out here pretty quickly. And what happened was the previous owner. And so the previous owner built the house and no one ever lived here full time. So I, well, I know they had never actually used the oven because they did not convert the oven over to propane. It's very different apparently. So yes, in fact, there was just propane gas coming into my house. And I was like, what is going on with me and this fucking gas with my house? So I still actually can't use my oven. We're waiting on a part to convert it over. But you know, my God, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what the deal is with me and the gas. So I am calling today to get the carbon monoxide detectors in my house. I know they would have been losing their minds on Saturday night had I actually had them. So maybe it's kind of good that I didn't

have them, but it's kind of scary. You know, this stuff is actually kind of scary. And I was so frustrated and just so like, why is this happening Saturday night? My mom made a good point. She was like, you don't know what this, why you need to learn this stuff, like what this is teaching you. Like maybe, you know, in five, 10 years, whatever, you're going to know immediately what to do. Or maybe like when my kids get into a house, like, you know, all of these things are learning lessons. Like I don't know about stoves and gas and all of this stuff. I've had to learn a lot, obviously owning my own house. My previous house was the first house that I've owned on my own, like a substantial house. I had a really cute little house in LA in my early twenties,

but that was, you know, the upkeep, I guess on that, or like there just weren't as many things that went into it. And so anyways, this is in the last, you know, four and a half years, the first time I've really had to like learn a lot about owning a house. And there's a lot that goes into it, but thank God for my mom and thank God for my gas guy. So that was my house drama. I feel like there's always a little house drama when you first move into a place. And then because our water heater's on the gas, then the water heater got shut off. So then we had to have someone else come back out to turn on the water heater. It's all the things with moving into a new house. It's all good. All right. I want to talk to you guys about Skims. I've said it before and I'm going to say it again. I really did not want to love Skims, but guys, I'm obsessed all around with all of their products. But today I want to talk to

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you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select my show. Let's be honest in the dropdown menu that follows. For those of us who thrive on getting stuff done, which is me, including workouts, every minute counts. And that's why you need tonal, the smart strength training system that takes the guesswork out of working out. So you can make sure you're making the most of every rep. When life gets busy, fitting in a workout can be stressful, but with tonal, you can make sure you're making the most of every rep. When life gets busy, fitting in a workout can be stressful, but with Tonal, you can get efficient workouts personalized just for you. And they're available with the amount of time that you have. Even the most dedicated gym goers struggle with consistency, the commute, waiting for weights, other people's sweat. It makes skipping a workout very tempting, but with tonal,

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you know, does something that makes you hate him. And then it's like, fuck that guy. I want him out of my life forever. Like Mark didn't do anything. Mark has been nothing but so sweet and so supportive. And he's always been there. I mean, he's really been, he's been the best boyfriend I've ever had. I just know long-term he needs to experience life. You know, he's young. I mean, he is. And I started to feel the age a little bit just with life experience. And, you know, I look back when I was 24 and how much life has happened for me in between then. And I mean, those are crucial years. Those are crucial years. Those are formative years. This is when you find yourself. And he needs to be able to do that. And I know a lot of people will be like, well, no shit. And yeah, no shit. I get it. I've always been well aware that he is 24 and he does need to experience

life. I've always been aware of that. It wasn't like I was like ignoring the fact that he was younger and like really just got out of college. I know I'm very aware of the situation, but, you know, this isn't a bad thing. I really look at our relationship as such a beautiful relationship, probably the best relationship of my life, quite honestly. look at our relationship as such a beautiful relationship. Probably the best relationship of my life, quite honestly. It was very healthy and very mature and it was nothing but sweet and loving. And Mark is a really good guy. I mean, he really is such a good guy. And that's what makes it hard, you know, but he will make someone so

happy one day. So, so happy one day. And he will have a beautiful family of his own, which he should do. He should go and he should have multiple kids, you know, he should. And I know that one day he will look back and he will understand it. And I actually think one day he will thank me. And that's just, you know, the hindsight that you don't have at age 24. At age 24, it's so hard to think about the future. It's almost like the future is like not even, like you just like don't get it right. Like everything is so right now when you're 24 and you know you have a little bit more life experience to realize this is not the end of the world. You know he's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay

and this is actually the best thing for him and you know think, I think that's important. I don't want to rob him of all of that. And I also think it's really important to note that I don't regret anything. Like I don't regret going public with him. I don't regret introducing him to my kids. I don't regret anything. I really don't. It was such a good, happy relationship. And I think with every relationship you learn and you grow from, and I will forever look back at Mark and I with such fond memories and just pure happiness. That's what it was. So this is not, this is not a bad thing. And I am optimistic that we will remain friends. I think, you know, we're trying to be friends right now. I think ultimately my experience anyway, is that in order to be friends with someone after you

split, I really think there needs to be some time in between breaking up and then coming back together as friends. I think everyone needs to kind of reflect and heal. And because I think it's hard to be friends when there's still emotion involved, or even on one side, if someone still has feelings for the other person, I think really both people have to kind of work through it and, and move on in order for there to be a friendship where no one wants more, where one person doesn't want more from the other person. But I tell you what, I like being friends with my exes and Mark really is someone that I would really love to have in my life in some capacity. You know, because I do, I do care a lot about him and, you know, he really is such a good guy and, you know, because I do, I do care a lot about him and, you know, he, he really is such a good guy

and, you know, my kids like him and I'm excited to see what happens for him, you know, like what he does in life. I think, you know, he's got the whole world ahead of him and that's a really great thing. And, you know, I'm excited to see what he ends up doing with his life. You know, I think about my life too. And my life is really full and it's really busy. And my life is kids and work and a little bit of friends, but not a lot, you know, because, you know, of course, it's like a couple of people who have been like, well, are you going to start dating? I'm like, Oh God. I mean, that's so not even on my, on my radar right now. I have no interest in getting back into the dating world right now. I also, I don't know like how much time I have for dating. You know, I mean,

before when I was dating last fall, you know, I was still doing split custody with my ex and I had every other week off from my kids and that's changed. And so I'm really happy and really content having my life right now being about my kids and, and work and just, and, and my, my, I want to say my happiness, but happiness for me is peace and peace for me is like making this home exactly how I want it. And I'm, I'm a home body. I mean, I really am. And so me being home and cooking and just, you know, having friends over, like, that's the one thing I would like to do is like have a dinner party. Like those things make me happy. And beyond that, I don't really have a lot of time for anything else. Like I, I really, in the last few weeks have like, I want to like kick up my health journey a lot. Like I haven't

been drinking. I have zero interest in drinking right now. I just want to really take care of myself. I'm like really feeling this energy of just wanting to feel really good and making myself a priority. And so I don't really know where men fall on that list. I guess they sort of don't. And in a few months, I'm sure that'll change. But right now, that's kind of all I want to do. And I'm okay because I know that everything is a season. Like this isn't my life forever. I'm not forever going to have such limited time that I can't date. I just think with where I'm at in my life and my kids' ages and everything, like this is what I'm doing right now. And I'm really happy doing that. And that was one of the good things about Mark was like, he just sort of fit into our lives. Like I didn't actually have to bend in a lot of ways,

which potentially is selfish. I mean, as I say it out loud, is that selfish? Yeah, I guess it sort of is, but it also just sort of worked. I think with where Mark is in his life, that just sort of worked out in a way that sort of worked for both of us. But, you know, I don't think I would be able to date someone right now who potentially had, who also had kids, who was also working a lot and who traveled potentially. Like, I just don't know that that would work right now. Here's another brand that you guys know I'm obsessed with and it's Bon Charge. Bon Charge is a holistic wellness brand with a huge range of evidence-based products to optimize your life in every way. Founded on science and inspired by nature, all Bon Charge products adopt ancestral ways of living

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to learn more. I think about my kids' ages and I have sixth, fifth, and third grade. And yeah, on one hand, does that sound young-ish still? Yes. But, you know, I only have Camden for six more years in the house. When I like pieced that together this year, I was like, whoa, that makes me really sad. Jackson's right behind him. And then Saylor, I mean, you know, Saylor's about to turn nine. I have, I have nine more years with kids in the house. That's actually not that much. If you think about it, it's really not. I'm, well, I'll be 38 here in a few months. And so, you know, I'm going to be in my mid 40s when I'm an empty nester. I have a whole life ahead of me after that. And so I just sort of look at it

like that. All I care about right now is being at every sporting event my kids have and just being here, just always being here, making dinner every night for my kids. And, and, you know, my kids are also at the age too, especially my boys where they want to hang out with their friends all the time. I mean, that is very true. And I also think in a lot of ways, yeah, well, I have Camden for, you know, six more years. Yes. But also he is already now like friends, friends, friends. And so I know that my time is sort of just limited with my kids all around. And that's why I just want to make the most of it. I really do. And traveling and friends and dating will come. It's just not a priority. I also, I don't know if I've said this on the

podcast or not. Maybe I have. I only really want to work for like three-ish more years. And listen, every time I say, I'll never do that again. I'll never do reality TV again. I'll never do this. I always end up eating my words. However, I really think that I really... And listen, on one hand, it's like, well, what would I do? And that's a good question. Because what would I do? I do think when my kids are out of the house, I want to just travel. I love traveling. I will do a lot of traveling. That also, I mean, you can only do so much traveling though too. And I am someone who needs stuff to do. I do not do well with idle time. I hate being bored. I hate just sitting around and watching TV. That's never been for me. So

I need something to do. But like the hustle and my hustle today is very different than it was in my, let's say early twenties, very different. But you know, I still, I still work a lot. And so I don't know what I would do. I mean, I guess even if I quote unquote retired in three years, I would still have Uncommon James and that does still take up time. Not, not the same level that it used to, you know, I no longer go into the office every day, which is really nice. My team at Uncommon James is fucking amazing. Amazing. I really am just in the creative space. I design all the jewelry still. And I really develop a lot of the skincare and we have a lot of new skincare products coming out and we're still developing

more. But other than that, a couple of photo shoots and stuff like that. But other than that, it doesn't take up a lot of my time. I get on calls every Tuesday with my team. So I know what's going on. They fill me in. But like I said, I mean, I used to go to the office every single day and I don't do that anymore, which has been awesome. So I'll still have that. But that is or, you know, maybe in three years, I'll just start getting way more involved with Uncommon James again. I mean, I don't know. Part of me does kind of miss it. But then the other part is like, well, I just, you know, I don't have time. I mean, I've loved doing the podcast. This has been really great for me. And I think too, just on a personal level of being able to

connect directly with my fans is a really unique, special thing, especially because a lot of my, well, most of my public life has been controlled. And so for me to even be able to come on here and be the one to tell you guys about my breakup with Mark rather than the weeklies writing about it, you know, and them putting their own spin on it and then everyone else, you know, coming up with their own reasoning, which by the way, people will still do. People will still do. And I'm going to make a really conscious effort not to read any comments or DMs because I know that it's just going to piss me off because it doesn't matter what I say. People will still come up with their own opinion about it. And it just, you know,

comments I think are just are bad for anybody, good or bad, because it's just not normal. Even good comments are not normal. That's not good for someone to be told how much people love them all the time. And it's also not normal for people to tear you down all the time. And so I have found that not reading comments has been one of the best things I've ever decided to do. And I've done that for years. Although in the last couple of months, I have found myself reading comments again. And I'm like, why am I doing this? This is trash. And it just puts me in a bad mood because I, the only thing that I really hate is when people are so wrong about something, but they think they're so right. And I'm like, oh my God, you have no idea what you're talking about.

And especially with podcast clips, because you take one little clip and it's never the full conversation or never the full thought. And so people who don't actually listen to the podcast and only see the clips, you know, ah, like it just, it's taken out of context. So that kind of drives me crazy too. So that's why I just have to stop reading everything, which I'm going to with this breakup, but I'm happy that I'm able to be the one to tell you guys about it. Because truly, there is not one negative bad thing anyone can say at all. And so I'm just happy that that's what will be out there. And then whatever comes of it comes of it. But truly, I mean, if Mark were 45 and had two of his own older kids, he would be perfect. He would be perfect. And I mean that. He is such a good guy. But to me, it just means I'm one step closer to

ultimately finding the one. Because he's so close to what I want. I know that the work I've done in the last four and a half years has worked. It's paid off because I was able to attract such a great guy. I just think timing is off. And not even just for him with his age, I think timing for me too. I really do. And I didn't think that that was the case, but now kind of looking back on it and realizing where I'm at in my life, timing is off because like I said, my life right now is, it's just full. I don't have a lot of spare time and the time that I do have, I don't necessarily want it going to a man right now. And that's just kind of, that's just where I'm at. So timing just isn't right. So anyways, that's that. These

solo episodes will not all be emotional. I promise you that. This is just a season of life. And I can't wait to get into the podcast studio. You guys have also a lot of DMs about getting a house tour. It is so not in a place right now for anything. This is sort of like all I can show you guys. There's just boxes everywhere still. But eventually, I would maybe show you guys a little bit. Eventually, I'll show you guys a little bit. And I am going to do a little bit of work to the house. I'm actually going to add on to the master bathroom in the closet, which I'm hoping to start like ASAP. So I didn't unpack my closet because I'm actually going to add on to the master bathroom in the closet, which I'm hoping to start like ASAP because so right. So I didn't unpack my closet because I'm completely redoing the closet. The bathroom at least, the only thing I'm doing in the bathroom is knocking out the back wall

and then putting a bathtub in. I'm not actually messing with anything else in the bathroom. So I was able to unpack all my stuff and get situated in the bathroom, which is great. But my closet, so when, you know, when you move, they have those wardrobe boxes. What I did was I cut off the front part so that there's not like a flap hanging every time you walk by it. And I have lined these wardrobe boxes up along my entire bedroom. And then there's some in the closet too, which I'll eventually have to move out when we start doing the construction. But this is going to be my life for probably, I'm just going to say four months. I really hope it's less than that. But so I'm going to be living in boxes for a minute. So when everything is done,

I'm putting a pool in and building a pool house. I'm like doing some stuff. When everything is done, I'll give you guys a little tour, but it's not in a place yet. I'm also waiting on furniture. I ordered new bar stools for this right here. I got a whole new living room set right here. And so eventually I'll show you guys, or maybe I'll do a cool photo shoot with a magazine or something because this house is very beautiful and I'm excited for everyone to see it. So one day. But okay. So there you go. A little more house drama for you. A couple more tears. I feel like this is just sort of an extension of my last solo. And that's that. Another little life update for you. As always, I appreciate you guys listening. And I will not be reading any comments for a long time. So don't even bother DMing me. All right, you guys take care. I'll see you soon.