Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - The Most Embarrassing Sh*t

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Justin is back to tell us about his peeping Tom, we discuss the restraining order I had to get, my stagecoach wrap-up, pooping, farting, and morning breath in your relationship.A word from our sponsors:LMNT - Get your free Sample Pack with any drink mix purchase at DrinkLMNT.com/HONEST. And if you’re an LMNT INSIDER, you have first access to LMNT Sparkling — a bold, 16-ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water.Skims - Shop SKIMS T-Shirt shop at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know I sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select my show in the dropdown menu that follows. Meta - Tap into the people on Facebook to fuel the things you’re interested in.Lulus - Visit Lulus.com and use code HONEST at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. New customers only. Terms apply. Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I'm your host, Kristen Cavallari, and Justin Anderson is back with us. I'm here, and I figured out my microphone. He's off. Finally, almost a year in, we are figuring out the audio. Well, cheers. We both have espresso shots. Cheers.

I'm a little tired. I just got back from Stagecoach, which I'll tell you guys about. And Justin, why did you want an espresso at 1 o'clock in the afternoon? Oh, because I didn't sleep at all last night. I actually want to tell you this story and justin is why did you want an espresso at one o'clock in the afternoon oh because i didn't sleep at all last night i actually want to tell you this story okay so you know how scoots out of town right now so scoot went up to ohio and i stayed in town and this is fucking wild bro i wait i waited to tell you on podcast i think i think our trainer told me this morning oh really tell me tell me oh no i know damn it kevin we talk about everything all day long this is like the one thing i tried to save to talk about on the podcast okay so is it about my backyard yeah fuck me no but say it because it's a crazy story okay so you guys

for like the past few months like scoot and i will be laying in bed at night and we have this like massive window in our bedroom that goes out to our backyard and we'll be laying in bed at night and we have this like massive window in our bedroom that goes out to our backyard and we'll be laying in bed at night and like all of a sudden our um lights will come on the motion lights right so they'll come on and we're like maybe it's like a possum or an animal whatever so it was going off like multiple nights in a row whatever then all of a sudden that stopped and then we'd be laying in bed and out of nowhere our dog kevin would jump up and just start barking at the window but the light didn't come on. Oh my God.

So we're not thinking anything of it. And we're like yelling at Kevin. We're like, what is going on? There's nothing out there. Stop, whatever. Didn't think anything of it. Whatever. Recently, like last week, we had these people come in and cut down all these trees in our backyard.

And our yard goes back far. And then it's kind of like forest. It just goes back far. It's not even a neighbor's yard back there beyond our property. And we never go back there. So they came back to cut the trees back in that back area. There's one big tree that's straight back from our big window to our bedroom. Straight back.

And it's just beyond where the motion detectors sense, right? So this tree is just beyond where it catches the sensor. And the cameras, we have cameras all around our house. Our house is actually so safe. We have two security companies. Like, so if one goes down, the other one is up. So the cameras don't point in that area and they don't go back that far. So when they cut down the trees, the guy came to us and he's like, is this yours? He's like, I found this behind that big tree. It was a pair of little binoculars that somebody had left there. And here's the thing. Our whole property is gated in. We got a gate put around our whole property. So far back, the gate is there, but a person could

jump over it. Okay. So I was going to say, so the binoculars were past the gate on your property. Were in our property. Yeah. So meaning it's not like one of the kid neighbors could be walking. No one can walk through our yard oh my god so right beyond that tree there were little binoculars that were like left there like maybe somebody got scared and they jumped up and left the binoculars there and the view is straight into our bedroom you guys and you don't close your fucking shades we don't close our eyes this is why you. Yeah, because you sleep in like blackout. And I like to wake up to the sun. Like I want the sun to come in.

And I wake up really, really early. So we don't close the shades. I mean, we have like those roll down blinds that are see-through. But then we have the big drapes, but we don't shut the big drapes. You can see right into our bedroom. Justin, this is insane.

This is insane to me. You guys 100% had a peeping Tom. So I was telling Kevin about it. And Kevin was like, what is that though? Like, what are they looking for? And here's the thing. It's like, if we were a man and a woman, like, yeah, they'd be like, what are they looking at? So I have no idea who it is. Like whoever it is, they had to jump over the fence. They were doing it. And that's why it was happening. So, okay. Last night, Scoot wasn't home. I went to bed. Like I wasn't even thinking about it last night. Here's the thing. I don't get scared.

Thank God. Like, I don't get scared. Did you close your drapes last night? No. I mean, I don't know what else to tell you. I was like, put it on a shell on the bed. Look at me. But no, I didn't even think about it last night.

I go to bed alone. Three o'clock in the morning. I went out to get my little snack. As you do. I come back to to our bedroom and the freaking motion light is on justin that just made me like my whole body just got chills the motion light was on at 3 a.m like that motherfucker was coming close to the room i justin it's got to be an animal last night no we set set up traps outside and get deer cams? So our trainer, Kevin, who's a hunter,

was like, you have to use my deer cams to set it up. They're great quality. What if the person's listening? We should do it right now before this airs. That's a good idea. Like, I'm not kidding. And then we can do a follow-up and we can let everyone know

what have we caught the guy or not. But those deer cams, the quality is really good. Like you will be able to see. Well, and it senses anything and starts taking it. And they won't even know that it's a small animal. And they won't know it's there. It's silent and they won't even see it. But what do you think?

Like, what are they looking for? If they're trying to stake out our house? First of all, our house is on lockdown and our house is never empty. Just so you know, if you're listening, even when we go out of town, somebody stays at our house with our dogs. I don't like that. Like our house is never empty. Like even when I'm like right now, I'm not there.

Coco's there. Like someone's always at our house and our alarm system is crazy. But I'm like that. Like our house is never empty. Like even when I'm like right now, I'm not there. Coco's there. Like someone's always at our house and our alarm system is crazy. But I'm like, what are they looking at? Like creepers watching two gay men. It's honestly, it freaks me the fuck out. It really, I don't like that. I also don't like that.

Like, let's just say last night he was actually out there at 3 a.m. It's almost like he knows your pattern of when you get up to go get a snack. And I don't like that, right? Ew, that just gave me chills. Why is he there when you happen to be up at 3 a.m.? I don't like that.

I don't. Can you guys move? We're moving. Come out by me. Well, and that literally we put up the gate because like, so the funny thing about Tennessee is like, people don't have gates around their whole property a lot here. So when we moved into our house, we did have a weird situation happen.

We first moved in like a really weird situation. So I'm like, I'm not dealing with this. So I put a gate around our whole property, like gated it in. And all of our neighbors were like, you guys are a drama. You guys were literally the only people in that neighborhood. The only people in our neighborhood with like a full on gate, like a whole system. Right. But this is why. And now I'm. You guys should move out by me. I honestly, the safest I've ever felt is like out And now I'm. You guys should move out by me. I honestly, the safest I've ever felt is like out past Franklin, Tennessee. Well, and now they're saying, cause I live free when listening, like I'm closer to Nashville. Like Kristen's like 30 minutes out from me. That's

so funny. Cause I wanted to live out here and our fricking realtor was like, no, you have to live closer to town. We never go downtown. Every errand that I run is out here. Like I go work out out here. I go to hot yoga out here, whatever. But yeah, but yeah it's i don't that freaks me the fuck out i'm not scared for me i'm even last night like i was like laughing in bed to myself i'm like fucking try me like come in first of all someone would be so annoyed if they tried to come in and deal with me but can we do this in the morning like no one's upstairs go take a nap like this is weird like i'm not doing this in the middle but i worry about like scoot or like like our dogs. That scares me. I don't like creepy people like that.

You know, I had to get a restraining order against someone in Chicago. Have I told you this story? What? So, okay. I made the mistake. This is when I was living in Lake Forest, Illinois. So the suburbs, the Northern suburbs of Chicago.

That's rich, honey, rich. It's rich. And so I did an interview. I don't even remember what interview, but I said that I worked out at the Equinox in Highland Park, which like this, by the way, is why you can't give the public information like this because people are crazy. So this guy did Pilates there. I did one-on-one private Pilates session. So this guy would drive up from the city, which was like 45 minutes to take Pilates from my same instructor. And she would be like,

this guy's asking a lot of questions about you. Like he, he wanted to know if he could pay you to go to a party. And I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? Like weird. Right. So like I would be doing my sessions and it was an enclosed glass, like little studio in Equinox. And he would just like be wandering around, like looking in. So this one particular time he was in a suit wandering around. And so when my session ended, my Pilates instructor was like, go this way. So like went the other way, went in the bathroom upstairs to like stall and take time. So I'm like, okay, perfect. I ditched this guy. So I go downstairs, I'm walking out and he's standing at the entrance on his phone. And I'm like, God damn it. So I get in my car, he follows me out, he gets in the car next to me. And I'm like, oh, so this guy is following me now leaves the same time as me. So I pull out and he I'm at the stoplight and he pulls up next to me

and he goes, roll your window down. And I was like, I remember this story. And he goes, you have a flat tire. And I go, what? Then my flat tire thing went on. So he knew I had a flat tire before my car knew I had a flat tire. So I go, I'm good, thanks. I pull around, there's like a bank right there and he is going back and forth, back and forth. Long story short. So I call my ex-husband who called a private investigator who worked for the bears. It was like a whole thing.

And they ended up going to his house and he admitted to giving me a flat tire and he was married with kids. Begged not to file a restraining order. I was like, no, fuck you. You were like stalking me at my gym and you gave me a flat tire to what? Save the day. Whoa. Yeah. I'll never, I'll never forget that guy's name. I forgot this story. That is crazy. So people are nuts and you actually can't be too careful. He's listening. What do you want to say

to him? Could you imagine your, the cops have to tell you that your husband slash a girl, a young, I was fucking what, 26 at the time? Wow. Slashed a 26-year-old's tires at the gym in the middle of the day? You psycho fuck. So people are crazy, man. You have to be careful. Where my head's going right now is like, and I guess you can never understand people because that's like a crazy person. So you can never understand.

But like, what do they want to do? I guess what you said, save the and be like oh my god oh my god thank you so much or do you want to do something weird to you see and i yeah and you'll i'll never know people are nutty that is so scary i know so how do we uh rebound all right guys let's talk about skims everyone knows that finding the perfect t-shirt can be such a challenge. I've always had problems, whether it was with the fit or the quality. Luckily, the perfect t-shirt does exist and you can find it at skims. From cropped silhouettes to long sleeve layering tees, there's a style for everyone. You guys know I've been wearing

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the scroll and actually acting on what I've learned. So I want to show you guys that if you interact with the people and products on Facebook, you can further your interest beyond the scroll and into real life. So for example, I love cooking. You guys know that. So I found a Facebook group where we all share recipes. Recently, we all shared a chicken piccata recipe, which was awesome. So we all made it and then we loved it. So this idea is called social discovery. So you guys can also discover whatever you love. You can find groups, whether it be knitting, book clubs, cooking, fashion, all the things that you could possibly imagine. Facebook has it all. One of the things I love

about Facebook is that we know there are real people behind this content. I've seen so many chefs, some well-known that I already knew. I've also discovered new chefs that I just find really inspiring. I've learned a lot from them. And I've also just gotten some really great recipes. I love creating reels, especially for cooking videos. I always think that people love them. And so Facebook is a great place that you can also share those. It's also another great way to discover more chefs or again, whatever interests you have. I also love the Facebook groups. Selena from the one pot and one pan recipes group took me to a great,roz Con Pollo one pot recipe.

You never know where it will take you. So guys, tap into the people on Facebook to fuel the things you're interested in. Let's talk about something better. Stagecoach. You just went to stagecoach and I was so jealous. I was going to go with you. I invited you. It was fun. It was my first stagecoach. It reminded me of Coachella in 2007.

That era where like, I feel like Coachella now is very, it's all about like the influencers. It's so much of a scene, right? No one's there for the actual music. It's there just to like go. It's like a party. Where back in the day, it was a lot more chill. You're there for the music. You're there just like be with your friends and have fun. And stagecoach to me was that where it's just way more chill. And it was, it was just fun. I think because my whole social media feed was stagecoach

and it wasn't as much, it's probably because of the age, like the age that I'm at. Cause I wasn't seeing any Coachella. Like it was like I had to look for Coachella. But Stagecoach, everyone, I follow a ton of people who are at Stagecoach. And it just looked like the best time ever. Everyone, like my experience of it was everyone was so nice, so kind, in the best mood. Drugs. Probably a lot of drugs and a lot of alcohol. Do you think people do that there?

Or is that more Coachella? I think. People are smoking weed there. I got offered mushrooms. I actually did not eat any, which I'm not, listen, I love a little shroomy shrimp, but I didn't eat any, but I don't know. Like everyone was just really happy. And you know what? It actually gave me so much faith in society. Cause I've been kind of down lately of like social media. I don't know. I just think like social media has gotten so gross. So I haven't really been on it a whole lot, but like being at stagecoach and meeting people and just seeing how

fucking cool and nice and normal people are. I was like, wow, I have faith in humanity again. Oh, I love that. I know people were awesome. I love that it takes like a music festival for you to feel that, but I feel like it is everyone's there for the right reasons. They're having a good time. That's why I loved Coachella so much much I would go even the craziness of Coachella and there's so much about the celebrities and taking pictures and all that the general vibe of the place is just so fun like everyone's hugging you meet so many people where do you ever go like in Nashville if you just go out on the weekend do people come up and like introduce themselves and they really want to like have fun and get to know each other I can be like that with enough drinks yeah but even Broadway I

feel like it's still kind of clicky in my opinion. Oh, God. I think it can be like that. Actually, I don't think I've done Broadway the right way as much. Yeah. I think Broadway can be like that. Okay, let's go this weekend. Fine. Alright, fine. We'll go. But, yeah, I don't know. It just, it made

me, like, came home really energized from it. Just being like, also, I'm a festival girl, man. I'm such a festival girl. Give me a theme. I like came home really energized from it. Just being like, also I'm a festival girl, man. I'm such a festival girl. Give me a theme. I want a theme and I want to listen to music and just dance and be a free bird. I want to be somewhere where people don't have any responsibility. That's why I love vacation so much. I love being on vacation because everyone's on the same mindset, but like at a festival, it's like no one's thinking about work the next day. Nobody has to like meet their parents for brunch in the morning.

So it's like everyone's just in that. Let's have the best time ever. And very rarely as we get older, do we get to be in those situations? Yeah. You know, so that's why I like I'm going to go to stagecoach next year. We should make that our thing where we like go all the time. But with stagecoach, so it's country music, Coachella, you have great music, but you can go into areas where you like dance with art. Are people dancing?

Yes. Also, stagecoach. Like hoed? Yes. Also, stagecoach had… Like hoedown or… Well, stagecoach… Line dancing? No. Like, no. Also, Post Malone was there and he sang all country covers, which was really cool.

Wiz Khalifa in like a different tent was fucking amazing. Jelly Roll sang like all these throwback songs. I felt like I was at the club in LA when I was 21. Oh, my gosh. And Diplo had a tent. Like, it was so much fun. So it's country music, but there's also like,

it's not just country. Like I don't even know like real country music that much. And it wasn't like that at all. Well, I was looking over the list and I was like dying. I mean, Diplo, Jelly Roll, Post Malone. Yeah, like really good people.

There were other people there that I was like. Jelly Roll was my favorite and Wiz Khalifa. Really? Yeah, they were incredible. Did you see a lot of people that you knew there I did I like is it a lot of does it feel like LA or is it it felt like LA like I

really felt like I was at the club when I was 20 years old yeah but in a good way celebrities there not a ton I mean yes obviously like everyone who performed I was hanging out with Camille Kostick oh I saw I love her I fucking love is she Have you ever hung out with her before in person? It's funny because we've, no, we've talked a lot, but we've never actually met. And she came right up to me and she was, she's one of the coolest girls I've ever met. I was, I meant to ask about that because you posted a picture of you and her together. And I love her on social media. I think she's so hot.

She's awesome. And I love her husband. Yeah, Rob. You know, he FaceTimed my boys at one of my parties last year. Bobo FaceTimed him for the boys and like his name's gronk right yeah and my he's so cute about it i love him i love that kind of like doofusy like athlete guy like you that is so that's so my type because he like he seems like he doesn't take himself seriously and like but then he's like weirdly hot i love him yeah no

and she's hot they're so cute they're so cute she really. And then she's hot. They're so cute. They're so cute. She really is beautiful and she's cool as shit. Is she a model? Yeah, she was a Sports Illustrated model. Looks like a real model, not an Instagram model. No, no, no. She has like a career.

She was a Patriots cheerleader. That's how they met. Oh my God. I love a cheerleader. That's why I love her so much. I can feel that energy. Oh, I love her. Can't she come hang out with us?

Yes. They come to Nashville a lot. What city do they live in? Oh, God. Are they in? Is he still playing? I think they're in Florida. I don't know.

No, I think he's retired now. Anywho. But yeah, it was fun. So I'm going to make you come next year. It was a good time. Who really stood out to you performance-wise? Post Malone, because you love him. Post Malone was great.

Well, Jelly Roll and Wiz Cleaver were the most fun I would say but post Malone doing all country covers was very cool because he has a country album so were there any country people there like you didn't name anyone who's from country well Jelly Roll well everyone who performed was there I mean you know well Diplo post Malone they're not country to me right so Jelly Roll Eric Church you want me to name the lineup well I listen to more

country than you do actually I'm like you go to any of the country performances also I went every day you weren't front row for Carrie Underwood

no she didn't perform yes she did no she didn't god damn it Justin Carrie Underwood Miranda Lambert did no Carrie wasn't there this year

no she brought out Axl Rose not at at Stagecoach you're wrong maybe at a concert no you're wrong under Lambert did. No, Carrie wasn't there this year. No, she brought out Axl Rose. Not at Stagecoach. You're wrong. Maybe at a concert. No, you're wrong. Look it up. Okay, wait.

There's no way I'm wrong about this. I saw. I'll bet you $5,000. By the way, Carrie was her neighbor. I thought she'd get so excited to see Carrie, but I would. I'd run over there. That's also why it'd be weird

if you and I were there together. I'm like, we have to be front row for Carrie. We would go to all different shows. And are people staying out late there? Well, it's funny because we, the first two nights, we would leave early to avoid all the traffic, which was the best thing we ever freaking did.

But then the last night, Wiz Khalifa was like the late night performance. And we were one of the last people to leave. We were walking out of the festival and it was completely empty. Just fucking cups everywhere. That is so you. And we were like, I was like, oh my God, how are we the last people? It took us an hour to get a car out of there. And we had a driver because the traffic was so bad that I was like, even though you were still like with the last ones out. Yeah. Cause they're all, everyone was outside getting their cars. So because the

traffic and they had all these streets closed off, it took us an hour to leave. See, that's the thing that I think about so much with those. Like, it gives me so much anxiety thinking about getting out of that place. Well, the first two nights we literally because we left halfway through the last show and we got out of there in two seconds. Like the VIP pickup. Yeah. Like you have a car waiting for you there. Yeah. Because I've always like Coachella, even if you have that VIP pickup, it was so hard to get like, I just hate stuff like that. The best was Coachella one year.

We got a house close enough that we had a golf cart. We got pulled over in the golf cart by the cops driving home and the driver was on acid. I've never done acid. I've always, always way too scared. I've never been around someone on acid. Yeah. He got pulled over on acid and we all were freaking out. Like we're all, I mean, we were all having fun, right?

But I was like, we're all fucked. Next thing you know, we're taking pictures with the cops. We're like, yeah. He let you off. Yeah. That's cool. That's pretty chill. Some of my favorite memories.

Carrie, she did perform at Stagecoach. In what year, Justin? 2022. 2022. He's a fucking idiot. Then why were they recycling those clips? I was like watching them. I'm like, she. 2022. Fucking idiot. Then why were they recycling those clips? I was like watching them like, she looks great. That's so

funny. Oh, God. Morgan Wallen performed and Post Malone came out with him and they did their new song that I love. Did you see Morgan? Yeah. Did you? No. Oh, you're texting right now. I went and stopped by the trailer. Hey, buddy, I want to introduce you to my new boyfriend.

Don't throw a chair at me. I'm sorry. So that was Stagecoach. It was really fun. And I'm going to make you proud. And the group, everyone got along? Yeah, it was really great. So a lot of my friends were there.

I went with, so Mark and I went with my high school friend, Brittany, and her boyfriend. And then Mark had a bunch of friends there, too. So we could just kind of like mesh the friend groups. And it was really, it was great. And he gets along with everyone really well. Yeah, so easy. Oh, it's heaven for you. Easy breezy.

That's so good. Yeah, it's good. Not to go into it too much. Not to try to pry. I thought you wanted to talk about that. All right, guys, let's talk about one of my absolute favorite brands. And you know, and love

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i don't know if it's like this with gay guys but this is a real thing with girls of like when you start like pooping around your boyfriend oh my god i have such an opinion about this okay keep going so like i i thought you know okay i've had three kids like after you have kids like you're very open about this though we've had this conversation multiple times you used to be because yeah yeah with my ex-husband after i had three kids okay well that's what you said to me before because we tried to have this conversation years ago and i remember you saying like just when you have three kids together you like everything goes out the window i'm like okay calm down but i probably wouldn't scoot out our 10 years in and we never are around each other for that.

So how do you do that? When we travel, okay, so this sounds bougie, but we will try to get a hotel that has two bathrooms. Or when we travel and there is one bathroom, we have a whole system. Like I go to the gym in the morning and we don't even talk about it. It's not like we say like,

I'm gonna go downstairs so you can take a poop. But like I go work out really early and he like knows that's his time. Then I come up from the gym and then he's like, I'm gonna can take a poop. But like I go work out really early and he like knows that's his time. Then I come up from the gym and then he's like, I'm going to go get a coffee. So we kind of have like this dance that we do. But we are 10 years in. I've never smelt that smell.

I, that for me, I'm such a smell person that like I do not want to walk into a bathroom and be like, oh, somebody did a little poop in here. I don't want to, I don't ever want to smell your poop. Like at all. Like I don't want to walk into the bathroom after you. You're way too pretty to poop. I don't either. This is like a real thing though. So we've been dating for three months and I am all, I still am like, I don't want to go around him. So like stagecoach, we were in a house. So like

we would all be out by the pool. So like I'd go in and we're like, he'd go in. Like we like same kind of thing. It was like a dance. And like when we're at my house, it's fine because I've got multiple bathrooms and like, but like I will not poop at his townhouse. Never.

Ever. I'm so glad that you're saying this because I was nervous about it because when we talked about it years ago and you were like, Justin and Bob. I was like, just like farting.

Yeah, I thought you were just like that way. You're like free spirit with that. I was like, girl, it's not cute. Like you don't like you never want to. I also remember this is so weird but i remember as a kid like this is so gross like i would like smell my parents poop and then it's like you kind of like you associate that smell with a person like this is right now i could think about what my bathroom would smell like if i

walked into the bathroom as a little kid i'd be like mom ew but you remember that like i don't ever want someone to associate any sort of smell like that. Um, so it is a real thing, but I think that there's ways around it. And I do think it's smart to kind of keep that stuff private when people talk about being in a relationship and like on the toilet while they're talking to their husband. I'm like, you guys, I get it that people are so close and people are gonna get mad about this because people, that's how I used to be. They love it. Like people will take a poop and talk to their partner or whatever. because people- Well, that's how I used to be. They love it. Like people will like take a poop and talk to their partner or whatever. I know, I know.

For me, like I just don't want to, I don't want that to be a thing. Something should be a mystery. I agree with you. Because also like I want you to think I'm hot and sexy and all the things and not associate me with pooping. Oh my gosh, it's so gross.

Also, it took me like, it took me a couple of years to like be, well, it took me having kids with my ex-husband to be comfortable and also him like pushing that. Being like, like oh you're not comfortable around me and to do that and I'd be like oh my god like I don't see that's always weird to me too when a partner like wants you to do like they think that's closer like I'm so glad that scooting are on the same page with that like we're both like no that's like our thing we don't you know like we don't

even talk about poop with each other you know that is so funny to me but and we're so connected on so many levels but with that like to me that's just like a no I don't want to do that with you see I almost I'm like men do that like I wouldn't care if like Mark was farting in front of me like I don't know I guess like but Kristen if all of a sudden you okay let's say you're three years in and like you're running into some issues and then he was and then he was farting then it's totally different I think it's cute at the beginning when it's like he's so hot and he farted like it's cute or whatever but all of a sudden when you're years in with this partner and then all of a sudden like they're farting on the couch next to you you're disgusting yeah like you're watching like football and they're just farting drinking a beer and fart like that's like i find that to be so

disrespectful though i could never fart in front of a guy like in my entire life i maybe have three times okay want to know a little trick that girls after listening you guys should know so let's say you're in a hotel room with a partner and you have to go to the bathroom yeah you go in the bathroom and like you know you have to poop well i would turn the shower on but then listen to this you know how sometimes you go to do and you don't know if there's gonna be a fart right like you couldn't you're gonna push out a poop but you don't know if there's going to be a fart, right? Like you're going to push out a poop, but you don't know if there's going to be a fart. You take a little wad of toilet paper and you press it against your butthole. And then you push because then it muffles the sound.

Like if a little fart comes out, it goes into the tissue really quick. And then when you go to the bathroom, really quickly flush the toilet. You don't want it to linger and the smell comes out. So you poop the minute you hear the pop, you flush the toilet really, really quick. But the toilet paper against your butthole to muffle the the fart sound because that's like mortifying if it's like your first time on a vacation with a guy and you're in the bathroom it's like i feel like i would i would never come out of the bathroom have i ever told you the story about like the first time i went to a high school party and

it was like we went with all these older friends who are really, really cool. And I was drinking beer and when I first started drinking and beer makes me poop sometimes. So like I went to the bathroom, I went upstairs in the bathroom at this like party where I was trying to be so cool with the older people. And I went to the bathroom like I'm just going to push out really quick. So I went to an upstairs bathroom. No one was around, went to the bathroom and then I went to flush the toilet. It wouldn't flush. And then so I'm like trying to figure something out or whatever and then all of a sudden people are knocking like then there was a line outside i took the toothpaste cuff or whatever scooped it out and tossed it out the window and then when i went downstairs and went back to party there are people like over in

that area being like what the fuck is that smell and i was like oh my god ew what is that like the worst thing in the world but at that age when you like want to impress everyone too and i'm like i'm not gonna be the one that pooped at a high school party the other day i was in yoga and this woman next to me farted i think i told you the story she farted next to me in yoga and it was like one of those things where i could feel her embarrassment and i wanted to like i want well i always say like why don't you say bless you when somebody farts it's just like bless you like it's cute we all fart where but she was mortified and i wanted to make her feel better because i think it's funny when you hear a fart out in public if you don't know the person it's just kind of like we should all just laugh like we all do it or just

say bless you but that is actually the bless you is really funny we're just like bless you thank you you should let him out though I read this thing recently that was saying you have to let your farts out. So that's the thing. You can really fuck up your stomach by holding in farts and poop. And so like as the health nut, I'm like, this is bad for me.

I shouldn't do this. Well, I feel like I've heard a lot and I just let them out, but they don't smell. Just one scoot's not enough. They don't smell because I swear it's also your diet. I think if you're eating,

like, you know, like when you're hungover and you eat crappy food, like it's gnarly. Yeah. But I feel like if you're eating pretty healthy and it's probably if you're keeping them in and then they, oh, this is so gross. We're way too cute for this. We are way too cute for this conversation. I'm like, Mark, you can't listen to this. The traveling thing is, is real life. Or like if they live in an apartment or a townhouse. Well, and it's like Mark lives with two other guys.

Like I am never going to poop in that house ever. No, but you can kind of like know your schedule. Yeah, that's the thing. Like when to leave or whatever. Yeah, in the morning I'm all like, gotta go. I'm very regular. I wonder if... Oh, it's probably how much you eat because I eat a lot. Yeah, well, and I think it just says how healthy

you are yeah mine everything goes through me so fast yeah wait but then what about morning breath

I know it's just one of those things it's like but so what what is your routine you wake up in the morning with a new guy that you're dating

you maybe want to kiss in the morning we fucking cuddle he cuddles me all night by the way he's the only guy where I've actually, usually I'm like, get off of me. Tristan, I love this so much

because you're really, really softening up because you aren't a very touchable person. You don't like being like, I swear that like I've gotten you better at hugging because I want to hold you all the time. Like when we fly together and we sit by each other, I want to hold your hand. Like I literally want to hold your hand.

Every time I see you, I hug her like I haven't seen her in like five years. Like I love hugging more than anything. But you've never really been a super like huggy person. And I swear you're becoming way more soft about it.

Like he like holds me all night and I like it. You really trust him. Like when you really trust someone's intentions, you feel really comfortable with them. Totally, yeah. And also, you know how healthy hugs are, right? No. And by the way, like I am very well. No, I am affectionate with my kids,

but maybe I was going to say I'm very affectionate with them. I don't actually think I'm very affectionate with them. I think I'm affectionate, but I think I could be more. Really? With your kids? Yeah. Now that I'm like saying it out loud. I think when they were younger, it was easier. You should hug them a lot. I think that the issue is like they're older now and there's so many moving parts it's like you know but you have all your one-on-one times with each of them i'm sure you guys every morning when they come down the stairs too i give everyone a hug you know i grew up in the most cuddly household in the world it is good it really is like what you were raised with i also think i could go so deep on this but like you're so hot that like probably when people touch you you want to know what their intentions are justin there's actually so much truth to that no and also you've been

pretty your whole life too people probably want to like touch you well male affection has always been a very weird thing i believe it i've always been like closed off and like i feel like people just want me for my body i believe it which like that's a whole other podcast where i've like i've like never been that attractive someone was like touch me hold me since i was a kid i've been the most my mom will tell these stories that's so funny actually because i would cuddle when i was a kid with strangers so my parents were both we'd be on the beach all the time because both my parents surfed and my parents would be out in the water and my mom would come back i'd be laying on a towel with like an older woman just holding and my mom's like oh my god I'm so sorry like is he bothering you she's like no he just was like

he was cuddling my mom one time we were at like a pool at a hotel and my mom looked over and I was on this one woman's back like holding on to her just like going around the pool like my whole life I've loved like being really touchy and affectionate like I live for it that makes sense to me that's really. I like love it. I love touchy people. Wait, so but back to the morning breath thing. So my point is, is like we're just like entwined and we start to just like kiss.

And it's just like, I hope that my breath doesn't smell. I don't know. No, you've got to have those tricks with that. You've got to roll over really quick. I try to drink water. Yeah, you do water really quick. I always did this thing. I still do it.

I should put peppermint drops in water. Yes that's genius that's genius because i'll run to the bathroom like i'm going to the bathroom and i just like squirt toothpaste my mouth and swish it and spit it out it's almost like a mouthwash really quick i'm so weird about breath though i know you are because like i'm really weird about it if i really like someone it doesn't like mark for example if his breath smelled in the morning, I wouldn't be like, oh my God, I'd be like,

I probably not. Okay, so then also that goes back to the poop conversation. Like maybe like, you're more mature than I am or like you can look beyond. For me, smells are such a thing.

I know. Well, and with Scoot, that's also probably one of the reasons we connect. Like we're both really into smells. Yeah. I think that's a gay guy thing too. You guys are just like so clean.

Yeah. I'm not, I'm clean. No, you're you're so clean and by the way you always smell really good and we've been friends forever i have never smelled your breath oh really never smelled your breath ever ever and i'm not just saying that like i've never smelled your breath we couldn't be friends if you had bad breath like i just like it would be hard let's talk so much of it comes from your health and how you like take care of yourself you know a lot of times it's like people have bad breath because they have like a cavity or something 100 or like your gut is all fucked up also you know what's a game changer is tongue scraping do you scrape your tongue yes thing is awesome yeah I've been doing that for probably about six months and And I think that's awesome.

I drink a lot of collagen. There's this one collagen that I put in everything. And I swear it puts like a coat on my tongue, though. So like I have to like. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have to scrape a lot more. Is that a real thing, though?

I think so. Yeah. Because the tongue shows so much of your health. But like whenever I drink this collagen, like I'll have like this. The white. Yeah. That's from the collagen. I would say that's not like your health.

That's from what you're. Because I don't want to stop the collagen. Because. The white. Yeah. That's from the collagen. I would say that's not like your health. That's from what you're. Because I don't want to stop the collagen. Because you're like. No. That's different than like the shit on your tongue that accumulates. Do you know what I'm saying? Like in the morning or whatever. Yeah.

I used to. I don't anymore. I do colostrum now. You should do colostrum. I think that is what I do. Okay. That probably is. Yeah.

It's like the newer one. Yeah. It's really good for your gut and your skin and your hair. They say collagen is actually a waste of money and time. Colostrum is really good for you. So I'll put it in my coffee or I'll like froth it up and just down it. Work frothing. Work.

I love a lot of froth. So that's kind of all I know. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, I feel like people know a lot about us now. We took it a little too far. Our bathroom behavior. Well, thanks for listening as always, lot about us now. We took it a little too far. Our bathroom behavior.

Well, thanks for listening as always, you guys. And we will see you next week. Bye. And thanks to Justin.