Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - There Goes My Dating Game

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

I'm back with another solo episode to talk about all things dating — particularly in those early stages. From texting, social media, and getting love bombed, to how to tell if you're one of... a few in rotation, when it's okay to send nudes, and why you should let people pursue you. Also, it's time to reveal my current boyfriend... even though it's gonna mess up my dating game. You're welcome.A word from my sponsors:Amika: Go to loveamika.com/honest to shop all my faves and to get 20% off your order. Discount automatically applied at checkout and cannot be combined with other offers.Daily Harvest: Take the stress out of your mornings with Daily Harvest. Go to dailyharvest.com/LetsBeHonest to get up to 65 off your first box.RocketMoney: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com/Kristin.Farmer's Dog: Invest in your dog's health with Farmer's Dog. Get 50% off and free shipping on your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com/honest.Loft: Let's keep showing up for ourselves and each other wearing what we love. Use code honest at loft.com to receive $25 off your full-price purchase. Exclusions apply: Offer valid 9/19 through 1/1/2024 at 2:59am ET only at LOFT.com when you enter code HONEST at checkout. Valid on in-stock full-price merchandise, excluding sneak previews, third-party merchandise, and cashmere. Total full-price purchase must exceed $25 before taxes and shipping & handling are applied. Offer not combinable with total store promotions, free shipping on qualifying orders of $99+, or other discounts unless otherwise stated. In the event of a return, the discount will be deducted from refund and may not be re-used. Not redeemable for cash. May not be applied towards payments on outstanding credit balances, purchases of gift cards or e-gift cards, or, except as stated in our Return Policy, adjustments to prior purchases, returns, or exchanges.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I know you guys are probably really excited to get right into the episode, but just really quickly, I want to take a second and talk to you guys about Amika. Let's get clinical. Lather up your strands with Amika's clinically proven shampoo and conditioner duos that leave your hair looking and feeling like you just left the salon. Their science-backed formulas are powered by nourishing, naturally derived ingredients with no nasties that deliver visible, woe-worthy results for every hair type. Did you guys know that Amika means friend? Yeah, I didn't either. They are a fearless, Brooklyn-born, salon-raised hair care brand, a friend to all, hair, hairstylists, the planet, and you. They were kind and clean before it was
Starting point is 00:00:46 the cool thing. Amika is always vegan and cruelty-free. They're clean and planet positive at Sephora and B Corp certified. Their sea buckthorn powered products nourish your skin, scalp, and strands. Guys, if you are not familiar with this brand, I highly recommend checking them out. Not only is their packaging so fun and beautiful, but I'm obsessed with their dry shampoo. I try not to wash my hair as much as I can, so I rely on dry shampoo. I'm also obsessed with all of their shine products right now. They have a shine mask, a shine spray, just that nice finishing touch on your hair. You can also shop all of my personal favorites at loveamika.com slash honest and get 20% off your order. 20% off discount automatically applied at
Starting point is 00:01:33 checkout if you use my link cannot be combined with other offers and it expires on November 1st, 2023. The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. What's up, you guys? Welcome into Let's Be Honest. I'm your host, Kristen Cavallari. And if you're watching at home, maybe you've noticed that I chopped my hair a little bit. I don't know what's going on with me right now, but I've had this crazy need to like purge everything. And that's included a couple inches off my hair. About a week ago, I just decided I wanted to get rid of all of the dead ends. I feel like I'm shedding some weight. Like the last few years, I just wanted to get rid of
Starting point is 00:02:36 it. And then last night, I cleaned out my closet for a couple hours. I have so many garbage bags of clothes. And I just went through my entire closet. And it's like when you clean out your closet, I feel like it brings back a lot of memories because you'll find a jacket or a dress or a shirt that you've worn in one particular time. And I don't know, everything comes flooding back to you. So I do find it can actually be really emotional. But I stood there going through everything going, okay, I haven't worn this in like, at least if I haven't worn it in a year, I'm like, am I actually going to wear it? No. If I've gone through all of the seasons with it and I haven't worn it, like all of my summary kind of stuff, if I didn't just wear it this past summer, I'm like, I'm never going to wear it. And then I
Starting point is 00:03:21 kept finding myself asking myself, is this the vibe? Is this the vibe that you want to have? And if the answer is no, get rid of it. There is nothing I love more than cleaning out my closet, the fridge, the pantry. I live for that stuff. If I wasn't doing what I'm doing career-wise, I definitely would have been like the home edit girls. Or no, I guess the home edit girls, no, they do. They come in and they get rid of stuff and then they organize everything. I would want to be the person who just gets rid of shit. Like, let me come in and go through your closet with you and be like, when are you actually going to wear this? Because I do think it's so much easier, obviously, when you have someone else to do it. I know there's still stuff in my closet that I'm never going to wear, but I do have a hard time letting go of some stuff. And then I told my kids,
Starting point is 00:04:12 Saturday, that's what they're doing too. They are going through their entire rooms and they are cleaning them out. By the way, if you are a parent and your kids are not in school yet, just wait until they are because that's when you can get rid of all kinds of stuff. It's pretty great. Anyways, super random, but that's what I'm going through. It's like the opposite of a spring cleaning. I'm going through a fall cleaning. And I, you know, in the spiritual world, if you guys are spiritual or pay attention to any of that stuff, they say when you have those impulses, those urges to cut your hair, clean out your house, do all these things, it's because you need to create
Starting point is 00:04:50 new space for, or you need to create space for something new to come in, which I love that. I mean, who knows if it's true? I think it actually makes sense. We never know what's right around the corner, but I kind of believe in all of that stuff. So I am clearing out to create more room for something new to come in. TBD on what that new thing is. Okay. So this is going to be, I think, a really fun episode. I want to talk about the early dating stage, what I think the texting means, their style of texting, Instagram, like when you're talking to someone, newly dating someone, or like maybe even just interested in someone, like what all that flirting means. And then at the end, I am going to tell you guys who my current boyfriend is. And I just want to say, fair warning, if you are a guy listening to this who has maybe been on a date
Starting point is 00:05:48 or two with me, definitely have talked to me, like maybe something was going to happen, please don't listen to this. Please don't listen to this episode because I'm really just spilling all the tea. And this is actually going to fuck up my dating game a little bit, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Okay. So let's start with texting. And I want to start with, this is really in the very beginning stages. So this is not referencing if you're exclusive with someone. I would even say, like, if you've been dating someone for the first couple months, this is like, I would say like two weeks to like two months-ish. And I mean, again, it varies for everybody. Some people say things a lot faster than others, but you get what I'm saying. Like the new very beginning stages. So let's start with texting. I think that, so it's such a game,
Starting point is 00:06:43 right? In the beginning when you are talking to somebody, there's that cat and mouse, there is that game. And I really feel like letting him come to you is the most important thing. And you guys will probably hear me say a lot that I really believe if a guy wants to, he will. If a guy wants you, he's going to text you. That's why I really feel like in the beginning, I think it's okay to let the guy initiate, make the first couple of moves when it comes to texting, to initiating a plan, because that's how you're going to know if he likes you or not. If a guy is not texting you and asking you out and making a plan,
Starting point is 00:07:31 he is not that into you. I think it is very simple. I think we love to overcomplicate things and come up with scenarios. And I really just don't think that's the case. So that's why I never, ever, ever, ever text a guy first. I won't do it. I will not do it. The only thing I have done is I have initiated a conversation, but in a way where they wouldn't know it's me being interested. Like for example, I actually asked a guy to come on this podcast and I DM Tim and I told him, Hey, I'm launching a podcast. I'd love to have you on really, I mean, I would love to have him on, but I also, more so, I was interested in him and I saw he was following me. So I will say this. Had he not been following me, I don't know if I would have just DM'd him out of the blue like that. So while that is in a weird kind of roundabout way making the first move, it's also kind of not. Like, I would just never like DM him out of the blue and be like, hey, would love to have you on.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Maybe. I don't know. But it's in such a way that he doesn't know or didn't, I should say, didn't know for sure that I was, it was because I was interested in him, if that makes sense. So anyways, I do think it's different for everybody. And we are definitely living in this culture right now of encouraging the girl to go after what you want. Like if you are interested in a guy, like ask him out. And by the way, I don't disagree with that at all. I really don't. I just think for where I'm at in my life and something that I would recommend for other women is letting the guy pursue you a little bit because then you're going to know if this guy is willing to
Starting point is 00:09:13 put in a little bit of work, A, I want to be courted. I just do. I think guys now, I think I've gotten pretty lazy and I think they're constantly looking for the next best thing. I think they have multiple women in rotation. I just think like that's the world we're living in right now. So I want a guy to have to put in a little bit of work for me and not chase me. I'm not trying to play games. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I want the guy to initiate the first few times. Like I want a guy to text me the first few times until I then initiate one time. Also, if a guy is not making a plan, like what are we doing? What are we doing? I don't need a pen pal. I had a pen pal for a while and I'm over that phase. I hope you guys
Starting point is 00:09:58 are following what I'm saying. I just think you want to know for sure that the guy is interested in you before you start initiating. That's really, that's really my whole point of this whole thing. Okay, guys, another quick break here to talk about Amika yet again. I'm just that obsessed, you guys. And I think that you will be too. Amika, let's get clinical, baby. Lather up your strands with Amika's clinically proven shampoo and conditioner duos that leave your hair looking and feeling like you just left the salon. Their science-backed formulas are powered by nourishing, naturally derived ingredients with no nasties that deliver visible, woe-worthy results for every hair type. Maybe you guys know by now because I've said it, but Amika
Starting point is 00:10:45 means friend, which I absolutely love. They are a fearless Brooklyn-born salon-raised hair care brand. A friend to all, hair, hairstylist, the planet, and you. They were kind and clean before it was the cool thing to do. Amika is always vegan and cruelty-free, which we love. They're clean and plant positive at Sephora and B Corp certified. Their sea buckthorn powered products nourish your skin, scalp, and strands. I don't know if you guys have seen this packaging or not, but I'm telling you, it is so fun. It's so cute. My seven-year-old daughter, Sailor, has been stealing my bottles. I think because they're so bright and cheery. I think she just loves them. So I'll go up to her room and find all of my products just sitting on her bathroom counter, which I actually think is really cute. And because they have good ingredients,
Starting point is 00:11:33 I don't mind that she's using them. You guys can shop all of my personal favorites at loveamika.com slash honest and get 20% off your order. 20% off discount automatically applied at checkout. If you use my link cannot be combined with other offers. And this expires on November 1st, 2023. All right, guys, another quick break to talk to you about rocket money. I'm the queen of starting a subscription, basically forgetting about it and never using it, but it just keeps going and going and going, just throwing money away. So Rocket Money has really helped me because it's shed light on all of these subscriptions that I've completely forgotten about. Are your subscriptions draining your wallet? You guys, the average person has around 12 paid subscriptions, and they might not even remember subscribing to half of
Starting point is 00:12:26 those. If you have no idea just how much money you're spending each month, you need Rocket Money. It's this great app that tracks all of your expenses so you know exactly where your money is going. Also, my kids now also have subscriptions, and I need to start monitoring them like hawks because they could easily get completely out of control. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Most people think they're spending $80 or so on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to 200. When you're signed
Starting point is 00:13:05 up for so many things like streaming services you use to watch one show or free trials for delivery you don't use, it's so easy to lose track of what you're paying for. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash Kristen. That's rocketmoney.com slash Kristen, rocketmoney.com slash Kristen. So here's the other thing that I've had to learn with texting. Their lack of texting, it's not equivalent to how much they like you. And I've really had to learn that. I have learned that the best texters, the guys who there's a back and forth all day long, pretty much, they are really good on text. They'll send you paragraphs. They really open up.
Starting point is 00:14:08 You feel like you get to really know these guys on text, right? I have found that those are the most toxic men. And you can come for me about that. That is my experience. And when I tell you I've had quite a bit of experience in the last few years, I really mean that. I have been so love bombed. And if you guys don't know what love bombing is, it is a real term and it has to do with narcissists, but it's where these guys come on really strong and they want to show you how amazing they are and how much they like you and how amazing they think you are. And like, it just gets like really serious really quickly. And I've, it's just, I'm thinking of a few specific people, but that is a huge, huge red flag. The, I swear you guys, the best texters, the best like texting
Starting point is 00:15:02 relationships that I've had, there's like three that are really standing out in my mind have been the most toxic relationships or situationship or whatever the hell it was of my entire life. And I think it worked on me in the past because I hadn't done the work on myself. Now that I've done the work, it's obviously a huge red flag to me. That stuff makes me want to run. I think the more work you do, like the more, I don't even want to say stable because I think you can be stable and not have done the work. The more like the healthier, I guess, emotionally you become, the more you actually appreciate that someone has their own life. Someone is busy doing their own stuff and
Starting point is 00:15:52 they don't need to constantly like have a pulse on me. That to me is like, that's where it gets really scary for me is when someone feels like they need to like know what I'm doing constantly. I don't like that. I also feel like with those situations, you're falling for someone who is not real. Those texting situations, when a guy comes on really strong, will send you a paragraph about, you know, who he is and blah, blah, blah, blah. Those are not real people that it's so easy for someone to put something in writing, hide behind a screen, have time to think about how to respond to a situation or come up with a great answer. It's just really easy to fool someone. There's no other way to put it. And that happened to me. I really fell for a guy about a year and a half ago. And we went on a
Starting point is 00:16:47 date. We went on, well, we started talking and texting a lot. And I was like, wow, this guy seems great, right? Over text, you know? It was like a steady, there was like a steady text throughout the day. And it was probably like a week or two leading up to our first date. And went on a first date. First dates, by the way, they're great. Like not, not all of them are great, but I'm saying like, you can fall for anybody on a first date or not fall for them, but you can think someone is great because we are all putting our best foot forward on a first date. So anyways, long story short, I went on this first date, still thought he was great. He's so busy. He's so busy. He is traveling around the country. And so I, you know, the bulk of our relationship was texting.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And I really fell for this guy over text, like really fell for this guy, especially after the first date. I was like, this is it. I literally thought he was the one for a while, which is so funny now looking back, you know, when you're like in that phase and you're like, this is it for me. And then you look back and you're like, what was I thinking? Okay. That's one of those situations. But anyways, that's neither here nor there. This is what really happened. And then I remember the second time we hung out being like, he's actually not really what I thought he was. And then like slowly, it just, I started figuring things out. But the point is, I actually don't think it's healthy to
Starting point is 00:18:11 have that constant text relationship like at all. And I really value someone who has a life who can't sit on their phone right away. I actually appreciate when someone does not text me back immediately. I really do. I really, really do. So I also feel like a great way to tell if you are one of a few girls in rotation is if a guy is slow to respond, especially if he wasn't at first. If at first he comes on really strong and you feel like you have all of his attention and you're like, oh my gosh. And then slowly it starts to, he starts to pull back a little bit. The text messages become slower. If he's hot and cold, they kind of go together.
Starting point is 00:18:52 You know, like sometimes he's texting you right away and then you won't hear from him for a day. If he's flaky with plans, you know, or if he's breadcrumbing you, like just giving you enough to hold on, you're definitely not the only one. Most definitely not the only one. What I've learned is, and this is not everybody, but most guys I think need, I feel like they need a few girls. Like they do. They just, I think, well, let me, let me back up. I think a guy who is not fully secure in themselves needs multiple women to boost his ego. And this is kind of the, what I've been going through too in the last couple of years of dating these guys, those guys, those guys
Starting point is 00:19:38 who are not fully secure, they need that ego boost. And now I do feel like I'm attracting in more mature men. And those guys, I do not think need a rotation because again, they're comfortable in their skin. They're happy with themselves. They probably enjoy a little bit of alone time. They have a great friend group. They don't need to like fill this void or boost their ego, but these other guys do. So you're not the only one if those things are going on and I hate to break it to you and they will make you feel like you are the only one, but you're not. The other thing I've noticed about older men is that they will pick up the phone and actually call you or even FaceTime you. But when a guy calls you for the first time,
Starting point is 00:20:29 like you guys haven't texted or anything and he picks up the phone and calls you, that is like game over. But that's typically like 40s, unfortunately. I think we need to train our boys. So like us parents train our boys to pick up a phone and actually call who they're interested in. Although if I said that to my oldest Camden, he would be like, you're crazy. That would make me look insane. But I really just, I feel like we need to have it go back to how things used to be. Okay. Let's talk about when it's okay to start sending nudes because of course guys will ask you probably sooner than you want to. I really do not think that you should send any kind of nude. And by the way, I don't think I've ever sent a fully nude photo in my life, like my Virginia
Starting point is 00:21:13 and everything. We call it a Virginia in my house, by the way. I have never sent a fully nude photo. I've of course sent like ass shots and boob shots, but it's when I know I'm the only one in your life, first of all. Like I have to know for sure that you are not messing around with other girls. I also feel like there has to be some level of trust where I know you're not showing your friends, but I'll admit like I've shown my friends pictures that guys send me. So surely they're doing the same thing, right? But if I was like really serious with someone, I wouldn't show my friends. So I think you have to be like kind of semi-serious with someone to send nudes. Otherwise, or if you're not, know that other people are
Starting point is 00:21:56 seeing it and there's probably other girls that are sending him photos as well. Just saying. So this is actually an interesting story. I think it's so funny how these things will just come out of nowhere. I took my kids to a go-kart place about a week ago, and I was too big to go on the kid track. They were too small to go on the adult track. So I couldn't go on the go-karts. So I was sitting there as my kids are doing a million laps, right? And this guy comes up and sits down and he is on his bachelor trip. And he asked me what I think of his suit for his wedding, my opinion. And I was like, what does your fiance say? And he's like, no, no, she likes it. But you know, I just kind of wanted to get your opinion too. Okay. So then
Starting point is 00:22:40 we're talking for a few minutes and then he tells me that he wanted to come up and talk to me just because he thought I was hot, which I'm already now like, you're telling me about your wedding in a month and you're sitting here telling me that you think I'm hot. And he also said it in front of my daughter and just like the whole thing. My kids are sitting there staring at this guy. My kids are fucking awesome when it comes to this stuff. Because if someone comes up to me, they have zero patience for it. They're like, get the fuck out of here. Leave my mom alone. And I kind of love it. And it usually makes guys be like, sorry, I interrupted. But this guy clearly had been drinking, did not take any social cues. And so, and Saylor even was like, oh my God, he thinks you're hot. I'm like, dude, get the fuck
Starting point is 00:23:24 out of here. But this is the most interesting part of the whole thing. What he said to me, and I don't even know how he got on this conversation, but what he said to me was that, oh, I guess because he was asking me about dating. He said, you know, dating is scary because you think you know somebody and then all of a sudden they become an asshole. And I was like, yeah, that's very true. I think people are really good at fooling someone for a few months even. I really don't feel like you nope someone until six months. I will stand by that forever, forever. But then he also said that guys only think about, he said the P word, which I refuse to say, about Virginia's. And then once they have it, they are over it and they move on. He goes, so see how they are after that. And the fact that
Starting point is 00:24:12 this guy is just saying this stuff to me, I don't know this guy at all. But it's interesting because it's true. I actually think he was trying to be kind of sweet in his like drunk way of like trying to like warn me about guys. Little does he know. I was like, buddy, I've got this. Thank you. But it is interesting because I think there's a lot of truth to that. Guys do. And I'm not trying to bash men. I think men are just very different than us women. I think they do. They have they have one thing on their mind and that is sex. It just is. And that's why if you want a lasting relationship with a guy, I don't think you should sleep with him right away. I just don't. I think you should wait until
Starting point is 00:24:53 he has that emotional connection anyways. Another brand I'm so excited to talk about is Daily Harvest. You guys, mornings at my house, I can definitely be a little chaotic trying to get three kids out the door for school, packing lunches, getting breakfast and them and me. But thankfully, the stress of breakfast is taken care of with Daily Harvest because with Daily Harvest, I'm getting meals that give me that quick nourishing foundation for my whole day and they're delivered right to my door. Daily Harvest keeps my stomach and my freezer full with options like fruit and veggie packed smoothies, forager bowls, and lattes. They also have tons of options for any time of day, like flatbreads, soups, and harvest bowls. I live for these smoothies. Two of
Starting point is 00:25:46 my favorites are the peach strawberry, and they also have a mint chocolate one that I absolutely love. With Daily Harvest, I get so many easy-to-prep options, so I don't have to even think about what to cook for my next meal. And I love that I can skip the shopping, chopping, and post-cooking cleanup. By working directly with farmers, Daily Harvest secures the best ingredients and freezes them at peak ripeness to lock in that always-in-season taste and just-picked nutrition. What you see is what you eat. So guys, take the stress out of your mornings with Daily Harvest. Go to dailyharvest.com slash let's be honest to get up to $65 off your first box. That's dailyharvest.com slash let's be honest for up to $65 off your first box. dailyharvest.com slash let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Okay, dog lovers, if you guys own dogs, you're definitely going to want to hear this. I'm excited to talk to you about the farmer's dog. The farmer's dog makes and delivers fresh, healthy dog food. It's developed by vets, nutritionally balanced and made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety standards. It's the best option for dogs at all stages of life because it's not kibble. It's not canned goo. It's just real healthy food. Traditional dry and wet dog food options are highly processed, can use much lower quality ingredients than they claim to, and are extremely difficult to portion accurately. Dogs at a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer than overweight
Starting point is 00:27:16 dogs. A fresh diet has been found to have all sorts of benefits from healthier coat and skin to better breath, even easier digestion digestion and smaller, better poops. We love that. A healthy diet isn't just important for humans. My dogs go crazy for this food. Oh my goodness. They devour it. They get so excited and we love that it comes with their names on it. My kids think it's really cool. And so we could not be happier with the farmer's dog. It doesn't matter if your dog is young or old, it's always the right time to begin investing in their health, helping you live more healthy, happy, and full years together. That means more magical moments with your dog, but no actual magic is required. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com
Starting point is 00:28:02 slash honest. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash honest. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash honest. Go to thefarmersdog.com slash honest to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Let's chat about clothing brand Loft. They have really cute and trendy pieces. I was just on their website yesterday looking at all of their fall jackets, and I am so excited. The pieces touch on all the season's most relevant trends and are always offered at a great price. There's fun pant silhouettes to choose from, flirty tops, midi skirts, sweater dresses, and really fun outerwear that's perfect for fall. New arrivals drop all the time, so be sure to check them out. With October around the corner, sweater weather officially begins. Settle into colder weather with cuddly sweaters,
Starting point is 00:28:50 easy-to-wear blazers, super soft cords, unexpected third pieces, and so much more. Loft is back and better than ever with a fall collection of fun, feminine fashion. Loft has orchestrated a modern mix of all-day, any-day pieces that offers endless versatility. We're talking plays on proportion, soft, touchable textures, exciting new ways to layer, with ideas on how to effortlessly put together and pull off their latest have-to-have styles. This fall collection is definitely one to celebrate and includes everything you need to build a stylish, feel-good outfit top to toe. Let's keep showing up for ourselves and each other wearing what we love.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Like I said earlier, I ordered all of my jackets. I think they're going to be coming later this week, so I cannot wait. And I'm just so excited for fall fashion, layering, and coats and boots, all my faves. And as a thank you for listening from today through January 1st, 2024, use code honest at loft.com to receive $25 off your full price purchase. Exclusions apply. See podcast description for terms. Okay. That's that. Let's talk about Instagram and flirting. So a big conversation that I have with my friends is if liking photos on Instagram is a subtle flirt, if following someone is a subtle flirt, I want to know if guys have Finstas. I have two Finstas. Why I have two, well, why I have two is because I created one and then I started telling everybody what it was, like all my friends and stuff. So then I created another one so I could actually be anonymous. But I want to know, and I'm going to talk to a lot of guys
Starting point is 00:30:34 who have come on about this. I want to know if guys stalk a girl's Instagram. Like if I like a guy, I'm definitely stalking his Instagram, right? Like without a doubt. So I want to know if guys do the same thing. I feel like they do. I also do feel like liking photos is a subtle flirt. And the reason why I say that is because if my boyfriend was liking a girl's photos who weren't, you know, like a cousin, a sister, like, you know what I'm saying? The obvious, a best friend from childhood, whatever. I would be a little butthurt just like, what's the point, right? Like, why do you feel the need to like that photo? So I think because that would be my instinct. I take a like as a subtle flirt. It's not an over the top.
Starting point is 00:31:25 It's not. It's just like a little like a little wink. And I will say I've given likes as subtle flirts as well. So I actually do think there is something there. I, however, do not think that watching your stories means anything at all. I know a lot of girls are like, he's been watching my stories. He's like, I don't think that means anything. I think it means they are just sitting there watching their stories play and
Starting point is 00:31:49 yours came up. I mean, obviously, of course, there are the times where, yes, a guy is interested in you and he is looking at your story. But for the most part, I really I wouldn't take that to mean a whole lot, unfortunately, even though I also sometimes really hope that it does, but I don't think it always does. Okay. Let's talk about my boyfriend, you guys. And this is where I would really advise all of the men to stop listening because this part's just not important. So here's what I've done. And I have to preface this with, I have never said this to anybody I have been even semi-serious with. I've never said it to a boyfriend. I've never said it to someone I've been exclusive with. Semi-serious, okay? The only time I've ever done this is when it's been early on, but not early
Starting point is 00:32:40 enough on that I then can't say what I would normally say after a first date. And I have said this before when it has been true. So if I have said this to you and you're still listening, I have said it before when it's been true. So if you want to bring it up with me, just go ahead and text me after this episode. So here's what I do. I will find that I get in these situations with these guys. Well, let me back up. So I can go on a first date with someone and I have no problem being like, hey, when they reach out, being like, hey, I really loved getting to know you. I had a great time at dinner. I just didn't feel any chemistry or whatever I say. It's something to that effect. And I've done that many times.
Starting point is 00:33:22 And it's usually reciprocated fairly well. So I've got no issue with doing that. It's when it goes past that first date or like we've been talking for a while or like there's been a first date and then we've been talking and we're like, oh my God, we should go here together and we should do this together. And I'm not kidding. In the moment, I will be like, yes, going to, I don't even want to say somebody's place. I'm going to make up a place. Going to fucking San Francisco. I don't know. I'm just making up a place. Sounds amazing. Like, yes, I should do it. And I've been, I've had moments being like, fuck it, YOLO, you know, like why not
Starting point is 00:34:05 go to San Francisco with Joe Schmo? And then it'll like settle. And I sit with it and I'm like, I don't want to go to San Francisco with Joe Schmo. I don't want to do that. You know? So then I'm like, fuck, what do I say that? How are you like, you know what? San Francisco sounded great two weeks ago, but now I'm sitting here thinking about it and I just don't want to do it. And here's, okay, here's why I have so much time sometimes in between seeing these guys is because I live in Nashville. And this has happened only with guys who live outside of Nashville. This has happened. Well, I'm trying to think. Yeah. It's happened with a few people in LA. It's happened with people outside of Nashville. Let's just put it that way.
Starting point is 00:34:49 You guys, I've said this in the last three and a half years. I was trying to think of all the times I've said it. I've probably said it 10 times. Okay. So what do I do? I say, hey, I met someone. I met someone and I really like him a lot. Wait, so I said this to a guy. I was supposed to go, let's just say San Francisco. I was supposed to go to San Francisco with Joe Schmo. And I literally said, hey, I met somebody and I'm really into this guy. And Joe Schmo said, well, this is the honeymoon phase. Like, of course you're going to think that, like, let's just see what happens in a week. And I was like, what? That's not even getting me an out. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do here? So a week later I said, hey, we've been together every day and I'm really into this guy.
Starting point is 00:35:44 So that, this is what I do. And then I also said it to someone else in LA who I see almost every time I go to LA. And last time I was in LA, he said to me, we'll call him Scott. Scott says to me, how's that boyfriend of yours? And I said, he's great. And he said, what does he do? And I said, he's a country musician. What the fuck? What the fuck? There's nobody. There's literally nobody. So you guys, this is what I do. I have this fake boyfriend. There are multiple men right now that think I have a boyfriend. And you would think I could just be like, you know, I really loved our time together when we hung out, but I, I don't know. I don't actually want to hang out or go on a date
Starting point is 00:36:31 with you. Like, why is that so hard for us to say? Why am I making up boyfriends? You guys, oh my God. But that's what I do. And I will say until now, I just fucking ruined it. You're welcome. It's actually been kind of a nice way because it's a really gentle letdown, like a very gentle, like it actually has nothing to do with you. It's just because I met someone else. And so I don't know. I would say maybe try it. Although, see, it works for me because I'm traveling all the time. I have people in different cities.
Starting point is 00:37:03 They don't know what's happening back home in Nashville until now. But again, guys, if you're listening, I have told you this when it has been true. I have said it when it has been true. I think we end on this note that I've now totally ruined my breakup game. Not even breakup game because it's not breaking up, but my ending it game. I'm going to have to come up with something new. So that sucks, but maybe you guys can use it. Let me know how it goes if you try it because it's worked very well for me. I'm not going to lie. So just wanted to give you guys that little nugget. Okay. So the texting stuff, again, all of these conversations that I'm having, I want to have again with men just kind of like validate if what I'm thinking is in fact true.
Starting point is 00:37:46 And just so we can get a little bit more information on what's going on in these guys' heads. So thank you for listening, you guys, as always. And I will see you soon.

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