Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Why Every Woman Needs a Roster of Three With Matchmaker Patti Stanger

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

Join us for a fun girl talk all about the dating world. Everything from the difference between men and women after a breakup, standing by why we want the man to make the first move, how men fall in love with women, where we should be going to meet someone, dating apps, the biggest issue finding love, to the right protocol for flirting on social media, the biggest red flags, good questions to ask early on in dating, the five non-negotiables, plus our thoughts on peptides and plastic surgery. A word from my sponsors:Quince - Go to Quince.com/honest for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Ritual - Get the good stuff to your gut, with delayed-release capsule tech that supports a balanced microbiome. Feel the difference, daily, with Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at Ritual.com/BEHONESTJolie - Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to Jolieskinco.com/HONEST to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping. And if you don't like it - you can return your Jolie for a full refund within 60 days, no questions asked. Astral Tequila - House Marg Summer is here. Time to stock up! Go to www.astraltequila.com to find Astral near you - and don’t forget the limes! Please enjoy responsibly.Shopify - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at SHOPIFY.COM/CavallariEveryday Dose - Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You'll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/HONEST or entering HONEST at checkout.Armra - Go to Tryarmra.com/HONEST or enter code HONEST to get 15% off your first order.  For more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. What's up, guys? Welcome in. I am so excited for today's episode because I have someone who I have all the power, yep. What's up, guys? Welcome in. I am so excited for today's episode because I have someone who I have known for years,

who I absolutely love. Today is going to be all about dating because I am with the original millionaire matchmaker, Miss Patti Stanger herself. And we just get right into it. So enjoy this episode. Well, by the way, I love Austin. I think there might be more men in Austin, though.

Yeah, I like Austin. I do feel like there's more guys like Austin to me. I love Austin. I think there might be more men in Austin though. Yeah, I like Austin. I do feel like there's more guys in Austin though. Well, because a lot of LA wanted a state that didn't have, you know, state tax. Yeah, exactly. So they go to Miami, South Florida, or they go to Austin. Yeah. And some went to Nashville. It's sprinkled around.

And the men left in COVID. They realized like I've talked to so many men and they're like, I didn't realize I could make money at my computer and not have to go to office. So all Wall Street now is like digital. They don't even, I was there last week. It was like empty. I was like, where is everyone?

They're like, oh, they're in their homes, like working from their houses. And then when I was in Silicon, I tried to break our business into Silicon cause we're global. That would be huge. But they are hairy monkeys. They look like scash swatch.

They live in their houses. They have pictures of them with beards down to their ankles going, will you hike with me? Really? And they don't leave their houses. There isn't a spectrum there, a very bad spectrum there. Oh, interesting. Well, that makes sense.

So I was like, OK, where are the men? Where are the men? So that's what I'm doing. Where are the men? That's what I'm doing right now. They're hiding. You're scouring, trying to. And there's a lot of, did you see the video

where the guy's in a dress? And he goes, will you chase me? Will you ask me out, did you see the video where the guy's in a dress and he goes, will you chase me? Will you ask me out? Will you make the reservation? You know, like, you know, we were, you had it a couple of weeks ago on your podcast. And I was like, oh my God, I think I sent it to you.

I might've sent it to you. And then I said, this is what's happening. I had a guy, really rich, San Francisco, good looking, go, oh, okay, you call me. Like, you know, we exchanged numbers on the group text. I was like, no, oh okay you call me. Like you know we exchanged numbers on the group text. I was like no I'm old school. And then he goes you okay well let's FaceTime and let's see if it hits and like maybe you'll come up here and I go no I don't FaceTime and I don't hit like that.

Oh wait hold on why won't you FaceTime because I actually. I won't. Okay tell me why you won't. I'm super intuitive and I if I'm I'm gonna, the thing is like, you're gorgeous. So you're used to making content all day long. I'm way older, I could be your grandmother. And so like, I don't think I look great on FaceTime. I've checked myself. I go, I really don't like the way I look in FaceTime. There must be a distortion.

Oh, interesting. And then I go, but I'm better in person. So if I think a guy is worth putting hair and makeup on and putting on a short skirt, I'd rather meet him in person the first time, whether it's drinks or dinner. Because I'm pretty intuitive. I can tell in five seconds on the phone, like, are they are narcissists? I'm really good like that. I know immediately also if I'm going to like someone or not. I've always been like that. And I've had a lot of people be like, well, you know, if the first date was okay, you should give

them a second date. And I stand by, no, I will never all of a sudden start liking someone out of nowhere. So do you agree with that or not? Yes. Yeah. Okay. You are okay. So I was watching you recently, because you know, I know you forever. And you've really grown up, by the way, you're an amazing mom. You may have an amazing business. You are very clear headed. You know, you're Capricorn, you have like this, I know what I want. I'm not going to settle. You had your fun with Cowboy and now it's like, I want to get serious because my kids are growing up, you know, you're still going to do soccer and stuff like that, but you know, they're at the age where like, I don't need your mom right now. They want to be with their friends all the time now. And I'm like at my house by myself,

like it'd be really nice to have some wine. To on the couch, like, I'm watching Ginny and Georgia right now in Netflix, I'm like, she's sitting on the couch even though she's, you know, arrested and I'm going, oh my God, like, I want that. I want someone who loves me that much. I know. Who'll stand by me if I get, you know, convicted killer or whatever.

Exactly. So I know what you're feeling. So like, you're simple. I want, look, we both love to cook. You're really organic, like I am. And we just want that meat that matches your frequency. So what happens is as women level up, because we are the smartest sex,

we use both sides of our brain, the corpus callosum, this is science, and we learn faster and quicker. We're working on ourselves. So a girl will break up and she'll go, I don't know why I broke up like I do with my ex. And then I go work on myself. Whether I go to the Hoffman Institute or take EMDR or whatever.

Like I just heard Sandra Bullock like just did EMDR. And we're gonna find that specialty, that healer, that psychic, that therapist. A guy goes, oh, she just broke up with me. This is really awful. I'm eating haganas, watching sports, miserable. I gotta get another girl. And they immediately go on the app

or wherever they have to go. And they go from one to the one to the one until they hit because they don't want to feel their feelings. Exactly. I have always said this, guys cannot sit in it. So they immediately go to the next girl. And I think not only the apps, even Instagram has basically become a- Well, no, that's a dating service.

Right. It literally is. If you, I'm not going to say it. Well, I don't want to say Jay too much, but if you look at Jay, he's a really good, on paper, he's this really good looking man, has a great career, and then other girls are going, Kristin Cannon was married to him. Oh my God, he's gold, he's stock market value,

and they start hitting it. Like Nick, Val, when I worked with him on my show, I was like, I said, how'd you meet your wife who's quite younger? And, wink, wink, and he goes, she slid in my DMs. with him on my show. I was like, I said, how'd you meet your wife who's quite younger? And wink wink. And he goes, she slid in my DMs. And I'm like, okay, well, there it is. There's my whole, whole platform of what I talk about. And women don't get choices like that. How many straight men of your age are on Instagram chasing? And then they're like, well, she's

so rich. She's so good looking. How am I going to, oh my God, I won't be able to level up. Like I was looking at Carly Wadd. She had an interesting thing happen. And she's in Nashville. She saw this guy in the news. He was a lawyer. And then she slipped into his DM. OK, so hold on.

Because aren't you pretty traditional in the sense where you think the guy should be approaching the woman? Absolutely. But now you've just told me a couple stories. But I don't want, I can't do it. I wasn't trained. Okay, you were Chicago. Yeah. I am New York and New Jersey. There is no way, I can hear my father screaming in my ear, don't do that. I know. And so then eventually get in a relationship and you were thinking like I chased him, does he really love me? And sometimes three, four years in,

he changes his mind and goes finds another girl. I want to know that he saw me as the one and he said, carpe diem it, I'm the gatherer, you're the hunter. Exactly, that's how I feel too. I can't either. I agree. I want him to put in a little effort in the beginning and kind of work for it a little bit.

Sorry. When you've had your babies, when the eggs are popping, there's twice. There's like, obviously our period, you know, from 1835, our eggs are popping. Same thing happens for menopause. So people go wacky crazy. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, women will go into pursuit towards men because it's jumping downstairs. And so you're like out of that phase. You're like, I already had that, did that. Okay, who do you, like when a man shows up, you're like, what are you got? What do you got? I literally am at that phase right now. And you know, and I think it's a good thing because I've said my life here feels very full I'm very content and happy. I'm happy so I'm not looking to just have a warm body next to me

It's got to be someone who's really bringing something to the table, but that's really hard to find Let's talk about the fact that you have your peace now. So a woman gets her peace. Like I'm in this happy place in my life that I never dreamed I would be single. Like when my ex called me, he's like, so who'd you take to the concert? I went to the concert. And I go, no one.

He goes, what do you mean? He goes, you're not dating anyone? I go, no, I'm in this place of peace. And if the right person doesn't match my frequency or my vibration, I'm really not into it. He was in shock. He was in friggin' shock. Because they can't do that. Because, well, Juan X keeps calling me and asked me to marry him and he's looking for love in Sacramento and I'm like, okay, go to...

Feels kind of good, right? I really get friends with him because he keeps asking me to marry him and I said, no, no, I'm not ready for you, but here's what you do. Go to yoga class, go to spirit, go to church on Saturday. Oh, wait, I want to hear the list of where you're telling guys to go. And then I want to talk about where I should be going too. First stop is anything spiritual. Okay.

Metaphysical, spiritual, woo woo, who cares? Don't care, you put your belief at the door. Second is like church, temple, the mosque, wherever you go, because women go more than men. Yeah. And whoever runs the church, like the minister, the priest, he's gonna be like, come here, come here. The rabbi is gonna be like, look what I got.

Single person, gold mine. You know? Okay, so that's one thing. The third thing is yoga class and Pilates. So my ex David would go to Pilates when we were dating and I got a little nervous because I was like, you're going to Pilates? He's like, my back hurts and da da da da my you know my somebody

recommended it and I said how many girls are in there he was like 80% women a few men yeah and I'm like is anyone hitting on you like I was in shock that he went to Pilates but now I realized that's a goldmine for men totally and yeah because it's always the cutest girls right exactly okay so where should the women be going I have boards I was just gonna, I feel like I need to pick up golf as a hobby. Okay, golf is number one. You get an older man in golf. You won't get a 25-year-old.

No, okay. Unless he's the caddy. But you would get an older man in golf. And anybody who belongs to a country club is rich. Right. Because you saw what the dues are lately. They're insane, like 100,000, 200,000. So you're going to find them.

But if you find one married man at one of these clubs, a finance guy, a lawyer, he's gonna know somebody single. And you're a good age group right now. This age group, like- I feel like I'm the worst age group. Did you turn 40 yet or no? No, I have a year and a half. Okay, so you're approaching 40.

This is the great age group, because everybody's getting divorced. See, okay, I feel like it's about to start popping for me. Everyone in my life still is still married. That's honestly been probably my biggest issue with dating in Tennessee. Well, it's very homey. It's everyone's married.

I have no single guys around me. And I got back on Raya in the spring. Oh, you did? I did, but it's fun for two weeks. And they're all out of town. Everyone's out of town. And everyone that I was seeing, I feel like everyone's a little bit younger than me, no kids. And I'm like, I can't do younger again. And I can't do someone with

no kids. I don't want you to do younger. If they have one kid, two kids, like older, like in college, great. Perfect. Great for your kids. Great for their kids. Good Brady Bunch match. But we got to start asking the single guys in finance and equity where men are, because men are in those industries more than they are. And like doctors, man, I don't know how much money they make these days. Right.

You know, but lawyers, yes, lawyers go. And so- Where are they hanging out? They're hanging out at the courthouse. They're hanging out. I just go post up in front of the courthouse. Okay, this, the finance guys like belong to private clubs. So you have private clubs in Nashville.

We do, we do. Like there's a bunch of them, right? Yeah, there actually are. That's why- So maybe we need to start to private clubs. So you have private clubs in Nashville. Like there's a bunch of them, right? Yeah, there actually are. That's why we need to start joining private clubs and circulating with the social director, whoever plans the events and saying, hey girl, you're my friend. I'll put you on my podcast now.

Yeah, exactly. Like start using your, we'll give you some jewelry from uncommon things. Done, easy. Yeah, okay. That's what I need to, because I know I joke and there's memes about this on TikTok all the time,

but it's like, I have to leave my house if I want to meet someone Like i'm bitching that I can't meet anyone and then even in la i've been in la the last weekend I haven't even done anything walking around here. Like so I think I will fix you up as my as your matchmaker I'm going to be your matchmaker and we're and anyway, and you can join matchmakers I have a whole network from high to low whatever you can afford. You're not paying but high to low, whatever you can afford, you're not paying, but high to low, and you go to a matchmaker, because we screen everybody, and then we have our own database. And we are, like my company,

Millers Club is the leading matchmaker in the world now. So how many people do you have? Is it on a retainer? Is that how it works? They pay upfront for the money, usually it's $100,000, and the women have become the clients, and it's 80% women and 20% men now.

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now because people are over the apps? The last six months, I don't know what the hell happened. Because in COVID, we had a good resurgence because everybody had to stay home. But everybody has gotten off the ice. Now, I'm not blaming Whitney at Bumble because I love her. I'm not blaming the guys at Tinder. What I'm saying is, why do you keep getting the bottom feeders

of the universe? They look like they fell out of prison. OK? And I mean, like, these are the worst people. Like criminals, they look like. I said, why aren't you getting a higher quality? So that's why matchmakers take her off, because we're screening everybody. We make sure they are, they pay, you know, they don't have criminal records. They have their, they, where they work on LinkedIn is really where they work. Right.

They have good family, good friends, their backgrounds, their ex-girlfriends, you know, all that. Yeah, even Raya, I'm like, so I was on it last fall and it was the first time I was ever on an app. I loved it. I went on four dates from it. They met great guys, I will say. Got off of it. I'm back on it. And at first, there was a couple of new guys that popped up, but now it's the exact same guys.

Ten, the ten guys. I remember. It's literally, the pool is so small. I was on it and I said Ben Affleck was on it on a talk show and I got thrown off. So, Raya, will you take me back, please? Remember you used to scream for Raya to take your friend on? Oh, I know.

What was her name? I forget her name. Beegs. Please, Raya, please, Raya. I remember that. Yes, that's so funny. I love that you remember that. I have not seen Ben Affleck on it. He was on it like right before J.Lo. That was when I was on it. And then, you know. That was the one I was on. Oh, okay, yeah.

And then, you know, it was also a couple of other actors that I'd see, you know? Yeah, I've seen a few. And I'd be like, oh my God, here are the same people, same people, same people. It's the same people. And they won't accept new ones. And they also didn't do older people.

They were mostly doing the 20-something set. Oh, interesting. Well, okay, that makes sense because most guys are younger than me. Yeah. Yeah, why- You need older, over 40. Over 40.

Has to be, has to be over 40. I mean, 45-year-old sweet spot or 50 would be amazing. That's what I think. Like a 45 year old businessman, like someone that's not famous on a ranch. They're high. I'm looking. Are we going to have to ask like Jimmy John Leato to fix you up? Leslie, Jimmy, I'm asking you to help this one. I know, honestly. But what do you think about the apps? Because I decided I hate them. I don't like them right now.

But I don't like the technology. I just don't like the biology. Because there's no one. I mean, I don't want to spy for 1,000 hours to find a college graduate. Like, I went to college, University of Miami, go Cain's, Alex Ralltown. No, I don't want to spend time talking the phone to a moron

who's never read a book. So I need to, the filterization is wrong. I'm trying to get financing to create the next app, which filters everything out to give you what you want. And it would be AI and it would go outside the app. So if I needed somebody on LinkedIn, it would go to LinkedIn or we'd go to another business site. A YPO might be good for you too. A YPO? Young business professionals group. I need somebody on LinkedIn, it would go to LinkedIn or we go to another business site. I love that.

A YPO might be good for you too. A YPO? Young business professionals group. Because like then you're meeting men. There are a lot more men in those groups. Well that's my issue. Like the Harvard Club and you know, Princeton and Penn and all them. But I realized Nashville is beautiful, small and hip.

But when you get to a certain age, you kind of get maxed out because you're no longer going to the bars on that main drag there. On Broadway. Broadway, yeah. Like I do that once in a blue moon. Although that is fun. It is fun.

It's great to see new acts. I like new acts. Yes, exactly. Like the Bluebirds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Bluebird is great. I love their food too. Oh, I haven't eaten their food.

Oh, that's good to know. I went to hearing Songwriters Conference once. That's fun. No, that eaten their food. Oh, that's good to know. I went to your songwriters conference once. That's fun. No, that's very fun. Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, I go to Broadway when I have friends in town, but I'm not meeting someone on Broadway. Exactly. But yeah, everyone in my circle is married.

So I just, and then- So wait, is that Brentwood and Franklin too? It's Leapers Fork, Brentwood, Franklin, all three? Yeah. Everyone's married. And that's where all the money is, right? That's where all the money is. Yeah., all three? Yeah, everyone's married. And that's where all the money is, right? That's where all the money is, yeah. So yeah, I mean, I'm in Franklin and-

Maybe we need to go to Memphis. I don't know. How many hours away is Memphis? God, what is it? I think it's like two hours away. But you know, like I go to New York a lot too. Me too. Where should I be going when I go to New York?

Well, New York is interesting. I was there last week, private clubs. But so I was getting very young. So the upscale clubs are the Harvard club, the Penn, like those going to dinner, lunch and getting in, getting out. I was looking for men there too. Now the men are on the apps they're in and the Hamptons there. So like right now the Hamptons are popping. Upstate New York is not bad, which people don't realize on the Hudson. There's a lot of small towns with a lot of men who have big real estate there and they're just like, I want to get

out of the city. Yeah. La la la. My friend just got a house in Fairfield, Connecticut. My business partner, Bonnie, she's just like, I didn't want to do the hamptest this year. I want to do somewhere else. So you got to move around, but you got to get out of the city. I know.

Because it's only good during the week. Yeah, exactly. And it was very empty. I was there. I was just there too, actually. I was just there this week. Yeah, me too. Did you go for press for me? Yeah. When were you there? I feel like a whole week I saw you on thing. was just there too actually. I was just there this week. Yeah, me too. Did you go for press for me? Yes, yeah.

When were you there? The whole week I saw you on thing. Oh, that's funny. I was walking down, I think it was Broadway or Spring and Brielle must have saw me and she texted, come get sushi, me and Ariel and I had other plans. And they were in town too for their show. I know.

I've known them since they're babies. Oh my gosh. Yeah, Kim was on my first episode of the show. I saw that. Yes, I saw that. I adore Kim. I know. What do you think or what do you see with your clients?

What's the biggest issue when it comes to love right now? Right now is, well, when you're in the relationship or when you're trying to get the relationship. OK, let's do both. OK. Let's start with trying to get in a relationship. So when you're trying to get in a relationship is finding it. Number one rule.

Like, you almost have to give it to God and say, hey, you be my matchmaker. And we've all been there. We've all been like, is this the end? Am I never going to get anyone again? Like I cry myself on Christmas Eve and, you know, like on holidays. And you're like, oh God. I know. I have those moments too. I went through that.

Maybe it was Christmas Eve this year. I can't remember if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas, but yeah, with my kids. And I was like, this just sucks. I wish I had someone with me. And you're gorgeous. So, men, pay attention. God, your media needs a men's, like all men's division of the network. I need to start talking to Michael on the go.

Yes. Because I was like, you need a men's division and we can start listening to men. I like that. Not children, men. Exactly, there's a huge difference there. Like not the comedians that make fun of this whole thing. Exactly. But I think when you're in a relationship is being taken for granted, which is contempt, which's a huge difference there. Not the comedians that make fun of this whole thing. Exactly.

But I think when you're in a relationship is being taken for granted, which is contempt, which is what the Gottmans talk about. Exactly. Like, you know, you now, you see the wife get really nasty on the husband. Yeah, yeah. That resentment.

And then they go, they take him for granted that. So it really gets really, and vice versa, by the way. No, absolutely. Yeah, I think everyone wants to be appreciated. Even after 10 years, you still want a little appreciation. I mean, you still want to be told you're beautiful. 1000%. And you want to say, honey,

let's get jiggy with it and put the kids to bed or let's get out and let's go to town for a weekend. Like make date night. What happened to date night? I know you have to do it. You have to make it a priority, absolutely. Saturday night, let's sleeping in on Sunday and putting the kids down

or letting them go to sleep over something. I don't see why people don't do that more often. It is hard when you have little kids, I will say. Making the time is really challenging, especially when they're so young and you're so tired. And if you're breastfeeding and it's like, I just remember always having kids hanging all over me. So then it was like, I don't want to be touched by anybody else. But you do, you have to make it a priority. You have to get a babysitter, you have to dress up, feel good about yourself.

There's scream cream for that too, by the way. Scream, what is it? Scream cream is a cream you can get from a compounding pharmacy or from Canada, and it makes you. I have not heard about this. When you get a menopause, we learn all the tricks. I know, I feel like I'm in paramenopause right now.

You should get your hormones checked to see where your levels are. I'm doing it. Didn't you just say something about that? Yes, I just had a doctor on. I follow him now because of you. He's awesome, Dr. Lee Howard. He's in Nashville actually, he's amazing.

And I do, I test all my hormones. I'm actually doing a really small dose of estrogen. I do estrogen, but I do testosterone and I do estradiol. Which is great for women. Yeah, I do it all. I mean, I'm on bioidenticals. From the moment the half,

well, I was the first one that went in the group. Like I'm my friend to the Ramona, so I couldn't call her, you know what I mean, I'm on bioidenticals. From the moment the half, well, I was the first one that went in the group. Like I'm my friend to the Ramona, so I couldn't call her, you know what I mean? But all the braboalities, I was the first one. Patti, what are you using? I went to Dr. Reed, she is the most famous, Molly Simms goes to her. She's out here.

She's here, she's all French. She got all the peptides before the peptides happened. We were in- Are you doing peptides? I'm in the peptide parade. Okay, so you're injecting them in your butt or what? I'm terezipite here. Okay.

And then I do BCP, what is it? BCP 157 when I have inflammation. I'm actually looking at one right now for hair. Oh. Okay. Which I just researched. There's anti-aging ones too, right? Yeah, and my terezipite has the NAD in it. Oh, that's nice.

That's why it's the best and it helps my cholesterolera-zip-dide has the NAD in it. Oh, that's nice. That's why it's the best. And it helps my cholesterol. So I don't have to go on statins. Oh, so I just redid my boobs and I did peptides for recovery. Oh, you're kidding. Which one, which one? TB and 9-9-10? It was two of them and now I can't- But TB and P-P-C-C. Yeah, that sounds familiar. But yeah, there were two. But honestly, the recovery was so easy.

Cause of probably that. Cause the- It helped. So did you change your implants? So I actually had a ruptured implant. So I had like full reconstructive surgery on my right boob and I had to like redo my lift. Like it was full on. Was it painful?

You know what? It was two days where I was kind of laid out and I took painkillers, which I hate taking. Did you do it here in Nashville? No, I did it in Nashville. Dr. Unger, who's amazing. Probably cheaper, anyway. I don't think so.

I went to, I went to Levine this week for who I am. Wait, oh, he's the facelift guy. I had the appointment. You don't need so. I don't think so. I went to Levine this week for... Wait! He's the facelift guy! You don't need it! I do. I had the appointment... I lost my cheeks. I had the appointment before. He's a wonderful, lovely man, but it is really expensive. How much is it? It'll get you up to $300. Up to $300 for a facelift?

But, you know, I like the fact he was cautious and he didn't go, you need this, you need this, you need that. He is really, and then he has a nose girl in the office because I need to fix my nose, the tip. And she was amazing. No, you don't. She's amazing.

And I like them. It's just really expensive. But I went to him and he was wonderful and lovely. And if you need to get an appointment and you want to check him out, he's a wonderful man. I've heard such good things about him. So I go to a facialist in New York. She said the move is don't do all of the filler

on the bowtie side. No, I'm no filler. And you look amazing. Five years I haven't had. You don't need it. I only have bowtie for migraines, because I get migraines. Oh yeah, I've heard about it.

Where do you do it? I do it TMG here, up here. But it's not facial. And once in a while I do it here. Oh, pal, that's the cosmetic, but the rest I don't. No, yeah, and you look great. I haven't done it. Like I was looking, what were you saying?

Well, she was saying go to Levine for a facelift when you need it. He's really, I'll get you in, don't worry about it. Okay, yeah. He's very lovely. His whole staff was lovely. I love that. And they were really, and it's a simple office.

It's not some elaborate hoo-ha. Like we've been to the Beverly Hills doctors, you know what I mean? They're all a little overtop. He was just old school. Like, I do this, this, and this, and I don't do anything else. And if you don't like it too bad,

like, he was just really cool. The recovery just scares me on a facelift. Well, you have to go to... It's weird in New York, because here we have recovery centers. So there you have to go to a room, like, at the Carlisle or the Morse. Carlisle, I recovered my first boob job.

You get your two nurses, they run the clock. Then you, like like move to an apartment and then you stay here for like a week or two. Some people say three weeks. I think he said two. And are you in pain that whole time? Well, I've done a brow lift. Oh, you have?

I had ptosis where one eye is too small on the other and I went to Dr. Honing who's amazing in LA by the way. And he evened my eyes out. Yeah, they looked good. And then he did a little brow lift. That was a- Is that from up here? Yeah, that was in my 40s though.

That was because of the, he'd watched me on camera and he saw. Oh, how funny. But Kami Parson's really good. He's also amazing for eyes. And then if you want the beauty broker, Melinda, she's amazing because she'll show you all over the country where who's got what and who costs what.

I don't know about any of this. There's a beauty broker, Melinda. I'm dying. Check her out on Instagram. Wait, that's amazing. Yeah, she's really nice and she'll show you all over the country where who's got what and who costs what. I don't know about any of this. Check her out on Instagram. That's amazing. Yeah, she's really nice and she'll tell you who's what. She knows what's going on in the industry. I love that. I didn't get Levine from her though.

I got it from another doctor I went to. Amazing. Yeah, he's the guy. I like when people tell you who the doctors are. I thought I saw Chris and then it came out the next day. I went to party for Elaine Goldsmith, JLo and Darren Starr's house. And I saw Chris up front and my manager goes, God, what a great voice lift. And she was with Lori Loughlin and I mean, Lori's gorgeous. And I just said, oh my God, she did.

It's amazing. And then I realized I had the appointment with Levina Reddy and then it came out the next day. I love that. She looks incredible. She is the person. I mean, it's insane. She looks 25. I out the next day. I love that. She looks incredible. She is the person. I mean, it's insane. She looks 25. I'll tell you this. I worship her. I want to like be her, one of her disciples.

But she scares the shit out of me. Oh, no, me too. I like when I talk to her, I get really nervous. I know, I know. She has that effect on people. Yeah. Hannah Winter must be the same one. Exactly. I met Kris Jenner first time. I was dating Brody Jenner when I was 18. And I went to his cousin's engagement party and all of the Kardashians were there and everybody before they were the Kardashians. And Chris Jenner was trying to get me to do

Dancing with the Stars. I was like, I'll never do it. And then of course I did it. So when you were in Laguna Beach, you knew him. So the second I graduated high school, I met Brody almost immediately. I thought it was like you put them on the hills though, but that was later. So he did the hills after we dated, after we broke up and everything. So was that, that was a fake out? That, well.

The second time was fake out? Yes. Yeah, I talk about this all the time. I didn't know that. I just saw like your energy, like I was like, that a fake out? Oh yeah, yeah, no, we never dated when I did the hills. He was my real first boyfriend in LA though.

I believed it. I love that you did. I believed it. You were a really good actress. You don't know what's funny, I'm actually gonna do some Hills rewatch for the podcast. The studio sprinter Heidi, you have to bring them on. I know, they're my favorite by the way. I love them.

So I just watched their wedding and my first episode. I was like, oh my God, this is wild. Lauren would never come on, would she? She, so Steven and I did a rewatch podcast, actually with your media, Back to the Beach for Laguna Beach, and she came on that one. Oh, okay.

That's cause Steven was there. I used to call you the shredder when I was watching- The shredder? Wait, explain that. Kristen is the shredder. She's gonna get any man she wants and she's gonna shred them at 10 faces away. I said that to you when you came on my show.

Oh, I think I- I said like, you're the shredder. And so I made Allie a go, Allie. And Allie's thin and lost all the weight. I'm like, you need to listen to Kristen because she knows everything. That's right, oh my God. You taught me about Jay with Dancing with the Stars,

how you broke up and then he came to dancing. Yeah, and then they kicked it. Because you didn't want you to do it. Wait, this is actually a funny story. So yeah, he never wanted me to do Dancing with the Stars. So we broke up, I called my agent. I was like, can I still get on Dancing with the Stars? But then I was only on Dancing with the Stars

for three weeks. And the third week they wanted me to talk about my breakup with Jay. And I said, no. I was like, I'm not going to air my dirty laundry. And they kicked me off that week. And he was in the audience that week. I was like, what? Come on, ABC.

You were really good on that show. Thank you. I just think we didn't have an audience then for like ABC. Because it was a popular vote then, right? It was. I think it's still is. But I think it's like easier now because it's like we have so much,

you know, we didn't have internet. We didn't have that. Oh my God, you're right. That was before social media. There was media, so you didn't have that thing you could do. You're right. That was pre-social media. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Have you done Dancing with the Stars? No. Would you do it? I did a mini one with Nick on my last season, CW, and Shawna came on and I was terrified because we had to dance without the music. You know, when you learn the dance, you didn't have music.

And then I said, oh my God, this is like tiring. It was tiring. I said, I'd rather do a singing competition than that. That was very tiring. Wait, I wanna talk about the show. What made you go back to TV? Well, I love TV. I produce, I'm producing two shows right now,

and one, we're trying to bring Millionaire Matchmaker 2.0 back with women! Hell yes! Women! Hell yes! We're gonna, We love that idea. We're gonna break down Francis' store and Andy's store if the last thing comes to me. I'm like, please, please, please.

But I love television. I really am a producer, and I went to film school. That was my major. And so I look at everything like film. And so I sold another show to CW, but they had bought Buck Boy Island. And it was way too young for the network. And our show did really well in the demos.

Problem was they were $400 million in debt, CW. Like four guys own it from Dallas and they wanted to make sports. So they brought sports on. But I had a great time last year. And now I want to get back. I want to get back. You took Rachel Zoe back.

You can take me back. Absolutely. You need to be on our TVs at Zoe back. You can take me back. Absolutely. You need to be on our TVs at all times. I'm obsessed with you on TV. And you know what I love about you is your tough love, no bullshit attitude. That's what people need to hear, especially when it comes to dating.

Now, those kids need to hear it now. Are you kidding? I know. So when people come to you, and if you can clearly see what their issues are, you have no problem like just straight up telling them. Right? No, I've like, when you're in the hot seat, I'm spiritual.

I also have a guide, which sounds really weird. I hear a voice. I love that. And the voice tells me what's wrong. And like, you know, like I'll zoom in, like what happened when you were 16? What'd your mother do to you? Blah, blah, blah.

I had a one person, Claudia Jordan come on and they go, okay, ask her what happened in college. And her father was in there for her. And I'm like, what? No, what happened in college? She goes, she starts crying and she's a toughie. She got raped, date raped. And she called her father and he ignored it.

He didn't think it was anything. Cause those days, you know, he didn't say no or whatever. And lo and behold, we call him and they made up. No way. Yeah, so little things like, I just see, my boyfriend's hated though. Cause I'll see stuff. I'll see like, I'll know if they're cheating.

I can feel it. I had a dream once where somebody was cheating. I was see stuff. I'll see like, like I'll know if they're cheating. I can feel it. I had a dream once where somebody was cheating. I was dating him. I was like, you're cheating. He goes, no, it was stupid. It was a dream and it was true. No way. The dream told me.

So you're psychic in your dream. Well, more than just your dreams. I've always been like that as a child. Like I come from a narcissistic alcoholic background. I know you don't have narcissism. What your mom or your dad? My dad. Your dad. Worst thing in the world.

My mom was the enabler. She was married three times. My dad was married twice. And then I was adopted on top of it. So when you've been through trauma, your psychic and tenor goes through. That's why domestic violence victims really are like, where am I?

What's happening? And it's because we don't know when the shoe's gonna drop. When we say the energy just shifted in the room. Yeah, you can just feel it. So when did you realize you actually had psychic ability? I was seven. Whoa. And I told my mom my aunt was gonna get divorced and that my uncle was cheating.

And she's with another woman and she goes, you're nuts. I was in second grade and my mom goes, stop that nonsense. Three weeks later, she walked, she came home from a business trip, my aunt and caught my uncle cheating and he was in bed in their bed with a woman. No way. What did your mom say to you after that? She keeps saying, stop it. And then I knew when my grandmother...

You're like, I just predicted this. I was 22, my grandmother went in the hospital and I was very close to my grandma. My nana and I were like besties. And she went in for hip replacement. I go, she's gonna die, she's gonna die. Patty, you're crazy, you're crazy. It's one day surgery.

And she died of anesthesia poisoning four days later. No, Patty. So like, I see stuff on television. I said, it's on the record, where's the camera? I said that they were gonna, that Blake Lively was gonna win the case and that they didn't know what they were talking about. And I told everybody and everybody told me I was crazy.

And what happened today? No, what? Oh, the case was dismissed. No! Justin's case was dismissed. No! Justin's case was dismissed. Ha ha. No way. And I knew it. First of all, there's a lot of reasons why.

If you don't like Blakely, it has nothing to do with it. Yeah. It has to do with the way production goes. And so, yeah, yeah. Okay, when am I gonna meet my future husband, Patty, your psychic? What you're going to, I go by numbers, hold on. Wait, if you can tell me this right now,

I'm gonna be so excited. Why is 2026 a very big for you in dating? There's a man around, there's a salt and pepper guy, like five, 11, six feet around you. Do you know somebody like that who has a crush on you? That's salt and pepper? Kind of like his hair is not completely dark. Oh God.

Okay, I feel like he's a man though. He's not a boy. This is a boy. His energy is completely different. Okay, so he's, yeah, he's older. Okay, he's in Nashville. Okay. He's in Nashville. He might be going through a divorce

or he just got out of a divorce. Is that why it's taking so fucking long? He's not clean, he's not clean completely. Okay, so 2026. Your oldest son might know him. Really? Yeah, something to do with school. With basketball?

Or sports or through friend through friend, like one of those kind of like, Like a friend's dad? Like you haven't seen him yet. Okay. He could be a friend's dad or something to do with like the friend's dad has a friend. Oh.

Like there's a six degrees here going on. Yeah. Okay, I'm excited. And he has money. That's good. I keep feeling like law around him. Like he might own a law office. I like this. There's a lawyer thing going on here.

You're feeling 2002? He's very country. He grew up like not rich, but he grew up okay, like middle class, but he's in like that area that you live in. Like he might not live on the right side of the rack, but he moved to the right side of the track so to speak. Yeah. He's not, he's humbled by it.

I love this. I feel like he had a brunette wife and he's getting rid of her. Or he got rid of her. How many kids does he have? I feel like only one. Okay, I love that. I don't feel had a brunette wife and he's getting rid of her. Or he got rid of her. How many kids does he have? I feel like only one. Okay, I love that. I don't feel like it's like a big thing. Great, that's probably better

because I've got a million. Wait, okay, I'm so into this. He doesn't want kids. Great. He doesn't want kids. He's like set. Okay, this is- He rides horses.

I love that. My daughter loves horses. Did you ever meet Kendra Scott's ex-husband? The one before she went out with Zach? No. What was his name? Because I keep feeling- I have a friend that knows him though. I feel like you're going to meet him. Did you ever meet Kendra Scott's ex-husband? The one before she went out with Zach? No. What was his name? Because I keep feeling, I feel like you're going to meet him. You think it's him?

I don't know his name, but I just saw his face just popped up. Zach Brown and him just popped up. Did you ever meet Zach Brown? No, I've never met him. He's friends with Jimmy John. I met him. I met him. I went to the concert here.

By the way, you want to meet men? You got to go to a country western concert where there's a man as the, not like the girl as the main gig. You're not Shania, even though I love Shania. No, but yeah, men are not. Worship the queen. But you go to Zac Brown, has the best looking people I have ever seen at concerts in my entire life.

I'm gonna look up the tour schedule after this. She fixed you up with him when he was single. Now I got you on radar. Now she's on my radar, you know? Oh my God. I'm like, Kristen, what about him? What about him? Send me all the men, all the men.

Wait, now I want to look up Kendra Scott's ex-husband. He's really cute. I don't know his deal. I have a friend who knows him actually. Yeah, the one that she, I didn't even know she got divorced because she called me to fix her up and then she met him and that was it. Oh, how funny. Yeah, and then Zach called, texted me once

and said, Patty help. And then I was like, it's busy. I don't know what happened. And then they ended up colliding together. So that's how things happen. That's interesting. Okay. He's the nicest guy, by the way.

Is he? Oh, well good. I'm happy for her then. The band is amazing. I didn't want to go. David's like, you have to go to this concert. You have to go. I'm like, it was his birthday.

And I'm like, I don't like that kind of stuff. I'm not. And then I got there and my mouth dropped to the floor. And I was like, this is the best concert ever. I'm literally gonna look at that too. I'm a country Western fan. Yeah, no, I am too. Didn't you go to a stagecoach? I did go to a stagecoach.

Did you see Jelly Roll? She's my favorite. Jelly Roll is so good in concert. He's the best. My friend's husband is Post Malone's manager. And so I said, if you don't take me to this concert in July, I'll kill you. I want to go see them too.

I'm going to go to Coldplay in Nashville coming up. I feel like there could be some good guys there. I'm manifesting just bumping into some. I went to go see them too. I'm going to go to Coldplay in Nashville coming up. Oh, that should be amazing. I feel like there could be some good guys there. I'm manifesting just bumping into some. I went to Imagine Dragons and there were a lot of good guys there. I bet. Okay, it's concerts like that. Yeah, where there men.

Yeah, yeah, the men, where the men are going. Or even, I would love to see the Backstreet Boys. I saw them at Stagecoach. I know. It was so good. I saw Joey Fatone in En Juliette this last week in New York City. He was amazing and I had a crush on Joey Fatone in En Juliette this last week in New York City. He was amazing and I had a crush on Joey Fatone.

Oh, I know. I was like, he was hot in this show. I know. You're like third row center is like drooling. They were so good. I also saw the Goo Goo Dolls. I was like, younger me is just. See that's what I mean, like stuff like that.

I know. Yeah. OK, I love that. Who, what other celebrities are you helping right now? I bet everyone calls you. You can't say. Well, it's the Housewives. Those people, they didn't sign contracts.

I have them on my roster. Love Shannon. Okay. I waited for Love Hotel to be over. Luann, I know. I know them all. So they're always just as a friend. But then I thought Rachel Zoe

would be kind of really interesting to fix up. And then I realized all the Housewives are single on BH. So funny, this morning, literally getting ready, we were joking. we were like, they can't really call it housewives anymore. It's like single ladies in Beverly Hills. Why can't you and I do a show? Whatever happened to that Nashville show

that you were gonna do? Wait, the show, hold on. Wasn't Janine Cramer, what's her name? Just Cramer? Oh, Jenna Cramer. Oh, I was never gonna do the housewives. I don't know if it was housewives. I just thought it was like successful.

I was never gonna do. Why can't we do a successful women show? I could never do that. Successful't we do a successful women's show? I could never do that again. Successful women dating, that's really hard. I know, I just don't think I have it in me anymore. Like to be like an ensemble cast with a bunch of women. What if you got fixed up

and it was only about being fixed up? I've been offered shows like that all the time. Well, think about it. You wanna know my issue with a dating show is I feel like it attracts the wrong type of guy. The actors. But then I looked at Mel Owens and I was like, if he doesn't find anybody on Golden Bachelor, I want to put my name in the ring. He lives in Orange County. He's a lawyer. He was in the NFL, which I love. The NFL made Millionaire Matchmaker. They used to watch us and our ratings went up. So that's why every season we had an NFL player.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. I told, when I went to Kim's wedding and I sat next to Arthur Hu on the Falcons and I'm like, so who do you got that single? Because I was like trying to find new ones to put on the show that year. You know what would be great is like a coach. Like I'm too old for the athletes now, but coaches. Coaches, yes.

Where are the hot coaches? Some of them are hot. I watch them all the time and I'm like, who is that? Screw the players. You'll see a photo and you're like, excuse me. Who is that man? I know I gotta get into the coach. They're always like in their forties and really sexy

and they have scruff and nice hair. I know. The problem is they work a lot. They're always- Well, Nanofil's a short season. It is short. It is short. So that's- Have you met Travis Kelsey?

Maybe he can hook you up with one of his friend coaches. He was like one of my first guests on the podcast. Okay, well there you go. So you gotta get him to a secret mission. I've seen a couple of coaches on Raya actually, I will say. Really? Yeah, maybe I should start scrolling again on Raya.

And by the way, if you meet those people and they don't turn out to be the one, they have friends. It could lead to something else. Like you gotta network. Yeah, but is a guy really gonna be, I don't know, I feel like guys get a little bitter if it's like, it doesn't work out with me,

he's not gonna be like, well I have a great friend, that's never happened. No, that's like dating a few times at a place where they take you where their friends are at. Yeah. And then you start following them on Instagram. Then you start like liking their posts. I have like a little, I'm a maniacal maniac.

Okay, so you're cool with girls kind of doing a little flirt, like liking a photo, doing this, but not DMing. Not DMing. Saying like, oh my God, yes, I've been to that restaurant too. Isn't it amazing? Like, I saw somebody I liked and they went to Joe's Stone Crab and that's my favorite restaurant.

So I went, oh my God, did you have the, da, da, da, da? And then he answered me back. And then he's dating someone, but he said, Patty, if I wasn't dating my girlfriend, I would date you. Like he was cute. He made it look like a heart thing. That's sweet. Should the girl ever, when you're dating a guy,

ever say, when am I seeing you? Or no, right? I know. Did you like, ugh. I know, I would never. Okay, like Palo Santo yourself, you know, like I can't. I know, I know. What is that?

I don't know, because again, I'm always, I take the stance if he's not pursuing you, it's because he's pursuing someone else. If he doesn't give you Saturday night, Yeah. you are not the girl. You're not it. If he doesn't give you Saturday night, you are not the girl. You're not it. If he gives you Monday, you're a laundry girl.

That was a percent. Think about that. So that's what you have to do to men. You have to date. Okay. In my book, Become Your Own Matchmaker on Amazon, you have to date a parent a spare. So you have to always date three people at the same time. It's very hard for the roster to get moving. But once you get that first little fight, even if it's cowboy, let's say cowboy is at the bottom. Like, I can't marry him.

He's so cute, but I'm not the right age. He's going to want kids. But he's great to take to a party. He's great to go to a concert. Then you got the middle guy. You go, he's sort of cute. He has a nice house. He's just like short or, you know, like I don't like his job or something.

Or he's too many kids. Like I dated a Mormon once and he had eight kids. Oh, my God. And I love Mormons because they're always so pretty. But I'm like, I can't do the eight kids. That's a lot of kids. And then he wanted me to move to like a part of, now I would move to a part of Newtah with a branch. Right.

But this was back in the day when I was hitting it. Yeah. So I was like, now I'd be like, sign me up. So he's cusp. Then there's the main guy, the one you go, oh my God, I love him. He's perfect in every way. We have the best kissing, We have the best time together,

but I got to wait for him to call. So that's why the two backups keep you busy. They will always rotate the three. You might get rid of the cowboy and get another one that's a little better. And as you do this, you refine your taste. You level up. So when you get to your level right now

where you've been through the storm, you've been through it all, everything is calm right now. So now you're like, I'm all. Everything is calm right now. So now you're like, I'm bored. Where is he? And then they're like, this is when you meet him. Because now you're not taking crap from anybody else. You're not falling down drunk.

I remember once I saw her drunk in a bar, but I won't say. And I was during Laguna, it was like right after Laguna Beach before the Hills. And I was like, and you were dating an actor. And I was like, I want to go over. And then I said, no, she's kind of high. I'm going to leave her alone.

But you were so cute. It was on Sunset Plaza. Sunset, it was an actor. You probably know who it is, but I'll tell you later. It was an actor. You went to like one of the, I think it was on one of the- Oh, Nick Zanno? Maybe I think so.

He was on a show. He was on a show with Amanda Bynes. Yeah, that's it. That's who I met right after Brody. And I said, oh my God, she's so cute, but I don't want to disturb the date. Oh my, yeah, I mean, I was hitting the clubs all the time back in the day.

Hey, I was your age. I grew up, I went to University of Miami. Yeah, oh my God, I wanted to go to the University of Miami. Oh, that would have been a good time. I mean, yeah, I was 19, that's what I did. I went out, absolutely. She was so adorable. Anyway, so, and I remember extensions. I found the first, when she put extensions,

I'm like, what is that? Because I never heard of extensions before. You'd go to the extension thing on Ligoonie Beach and I'd be like, I want extensions now. Yeah, they did for winter formal. Yeah. Oh my God. How about you, okay, this is what I, when we were growing up, I was offered to go to prom.

I didn't go because I didn't like the boy. And I'd just broken up with my boyfriend. So it was bad timing. So I just never, I went to New York City and saw something like a big play or something. But you guys got these proposals. It was full on. It was like full on wedding proposals.

And we were like, what the hell is this? We nobody in our country did that. Oh, I know. No, they, we, well. Did you invent this? You know what? I mean, I don't know how long that had been going on at Laguna Beach High School,

but obviously the whole time I was there at school, that was the norm. Girls and guys, even girls, when we would, cause I think the girls asked the guys to win her formal, and then the guys- That's Sadie Hawkins one, I think. Okay, right. Exactly.

You have to ask them guys. Exactly. But everybody went all out. And I mean, it made it so much fun. Do you know you ruined everything for everybody else? Oh, I know, like good luck. They were like You ruined everything for everybody else. Oh, I know. Like, good luck. Everyone's like, hello. I'm watching Ginny and Georgia and they all have to do these elaborate

to ask them to tulips and tuxes dance. And I'm going, this is from Laguna Beach. They stole my stuff. Oh, I know. I know. Oh, and it's doing Back to the Beach. The podcast, when I went back and watched, I was like, that actually was really special that we used to do that. I mean, we went all out. It was very cute. What was your wedding proposal like?

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Go to triarmra.com slash honest or enter honest to get 15% off your first order. Go to tryarmra.com slash honest or enter honest to get 15% off your first order. That's t-r-y-a-r-m-r-a.com slash honest. Okay, so let's go back to dating. So when you are just first starting to date someone, what are good questions to ask someone to see if you guys have long-term potential? Okay. How do you resolve conflict? Oh, that's so good. to ask someone to see if you guys have long-term potential? Okay, how do you resolve conflict? Oh, that's so good, yeah. And just like, you know, you're eating the adurbs, he's feeding you whatever, the calamari.

So how do you resolve conflict? You know when guys really like you is when they want you to share something with them and then they feed it to you. Like the chocolate mousse, you know, like, oh, you taste this, yeah, that's how you know. Like guys who are fetishy and keep their food to themselves. Yeah, right. Okay.

So how do you resolve conflict? That's huge. Where do you see yourself in five years? Obviously. And then I always say, you know, what do you feel about marriage? What do you feel about kids? Because and you can say think because so masculine men think feminine men feel. So if you say if you say feel, he might change his word. Well, what I think is and then you'll go, feminine men feel. So if you say, feel, he might change his word. Well, what I think is, and then you'll go, he's masculine. But if he goes, I feel, I feel, I feel,

he's feminine energy. And if you don't want to be masculine, which you and I tend to get put in that category when I'm really feminine, when Jimmy John said, Patty, you're an alpha. I'm like, no, I don't want to be an alpha. I don't want to be an alpha. Not in relationship.

Yeah, I'm an alpha in my everyday life, but in relationship, I don't want to be an alpha. I don't want to be an alpha. Not in relationship. Yeah, I'm an alpha in my everyday life, but in relationship I don't want to be. I am a killer at work. Yes. At six o'clock when I walk in the door, I want to be, hi, what are we doing? Exactly, you want to shut your brain off. I want you to open the car door.

I want you to make the reservation. Yes. I want you to pay the valet. Yes. I want you to do everything. Take the reins. Yeah, and I will suck the dick off of you. No, literally though. Seriously. I know, it's not that hard. I will give, I will cook, I will suck the dick off of you. No, literally though.

Seriously. I know, it's not that hard. I will give, I will cook, I will make your house clean. Just do these things that we ask you to do. Take charge. The worst is when you go to the airport on vacation. And maybe the girl made the reservations because she's better at the computer, works with the travel agent and wants certain things.

But then you get to the front and he just stands back and expects you to check in and go, okay, what do we got here? Do we have two bags? And I'm going, I'm like, and this is how the vacation is going to be the whole week. You really learn someone when you travel with them. And that is such a pet peeve of mine traveling with someone. This happened to me most recently. And I was like, I can't do this.

I can't do this. Why am I? I feel like the father.'t do this. I can't do this. I, why am I, I feel like the father. Like this is my child now at this point. What am I doing? So that's what happens when, like money usually breaks everything and then you go to, like we don't have sex. It's money sex. But let's say you all have money and there's other problems and he wants to be feminine and he wants you to be masculine. So he'll start out masculine. And then midway through about six, seven months, he can't keep the facade up, like the narcissist or the sociopath.

And he'll drop it. And then all of a sudden you're like, what happened to that guy? The guy that used to check in and tell me I'm beautiful every morning. The guy that used to pick up flowers, the guy that used to do all these things and make arrangements for the weekend.

And he's like, now you realize it was just, you know, his modus operandi to get you, and now he wants you to be the man. Is that a you know, his modus operandi to get you, and now he wants you to be the man. Is that a form of love bombing? Yes. That is love bombing, essentially. It's kind of love bombing, but it's also deception.

Right. Because they're con men, basically they're con men. And they know they are, and they've done it with 12 women before you, and they know how it works. Now the girl that accepts it is accepting the bare minimum because she's been abused by other relationships or a father figure.

Like maybe the father was absent, maybe the father was abusive. And now she's saying to herself, well, this is the best I can get. So I'll just keep my mouth shut and do whatever he tells me to do. I hate that. That's why you see these women running around

like in a daze kind of like, and you're like, are you okay? You know, it's like that. You see a lot of them. What's the most important thing for a woman to have then when she's going out into the dating world? Self them. What's the most important thing for a woman to have then when she's going out into the dating world? Self love?

Self love. Self love is, okay. So what you need to do is the five nine negotiables. Oh, okay. What are these? So these are the things you must have. Like if, okay, so I'm Jewish, she's Christian. Unless we're gonna go to both church and temple, can I have a Christmas tree, you know,

can he have a Christmas tree in the house? And if you say no, that's one, religion. Another one is where we're gonna live, how much money we're gonna make, how are we gonna do the money? Like for instance, if you're a woman who makes a lot of money and you go, but my dad paid the bills for my mom

and I wanna be traditional. I don't care what anyone thinks, you're not a gold digger, you're bringing money to the table, you're working. I would like him to pay the bills, the basic bills, you know, the utilities, the mortgage, whatever. Another thing would be like, maybe I've never had a guy that was kind. So I want kindness, thoughtfulness.

I want somebody to nurture me. I want somebody to think I'm beautiful. Maybe I never had a guy who told me I'm beautiful. I want him to see me for who I am. I want to meet him at my level. So you may- And those are different for everyone. Every person has five and you'll change them.

So as you date, you'll go, wow, I didn't realize I never had that before. I will say every guy I go out with, even if it's one date, there is more that I take away about what I do and don't want. Everybody, I'm not here just doing research. This is the thing, you'll write a book on it. There are two quirks, physical quirks you can have.

So like, I like hair and height. And if his belly is this big, we can walk. Right. You know, like some people, or you give him, you know, GLP. Some people are very particular in that. I have to have him cut and I have to... And they get to a laundry list, and then there's no wiggle room for the universe

to bring in the guy, because you're so subtext into this. And how many in this percentage, like, the insult community is very upset about this, the men in the insult community. Because they're like, nobody online is getting hot girls. Well, look what they look like. And they don't take responsibility for what they look like. Get their teeth fixed, you know,

put a spray tan and whatever. And so they're upset, like nobody's six feet. Like everybody's five feet and under. And I'm like, oh my God, now there's a surgery for that. I just went to the premiere of Materialist. And in the movie, there's something in there you're gonna see. And it changed the game for one of the characters.

Whoa. It's the best movie, by the way. It's a bad a matchmaker. Oh, I love it. I haven't even heard of this movie. Yeah, it's the Slean Song who did Past Lives. And A24 is the best production company ever. So I went and I met Dakota and Chris Evans.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I've seen all the press. So there are things that women want. I can't date a short guy. I tried. I know. I'm five, seven and a half, I wear heels, and I feel like I'm their mother. Well, you're gonna hate me because I'm only five, three,

but I also am like, I want a tall guy. You had Jay. Who's Jay, six, four? Almost. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, like I've dated really tall guys in my day. I'm like, I can't, I can't do it. Brody's really tall.

Brody's tall. I mean, all of my ex-boyfriends are very tall. I know, I can't do it. Brody's really tall. Brody's tall. I mean, all of my ex-boyfriends are very tall. I know, I can't do it. This comedian I dated was six four. So you stick to your street. I've tried to deviate. And I mean, but just don't get a lot of quirks. I get two, like hair, I can't date bald.

I don't like bald. Although there are, I will say, there are some good looking bald men out there. I know, I just, I haven't. Yeah, I know. Like when you go online, it's like bald men go on Bumble. Bald men are like, that's like where they go to die on and Bumble, I'm like, how many bald men are there here?

Oh really? Yeah, it's really weird. Okay, good to know I'm not getting on Bumble. No, no, there are other good people. I just, I'm like just saying like, that's what I noticed. Like they always wear the baseball cap and they put the sunglasses on. That's catfishing.

And the sunglasses. The hats, the hats really. I'm like, I need to see a photo without his hat on. That's when you know. You got to, and men need to get better photos and look better. And men are so bad at pictures. They need best girlfriends to take their pictures. I know, I know.

Or their daughter. The dating profiles, you probably do help obviously your clients with their profiles. Yes, we do. We write them. But guys need a service that- I'm helping my ex-boyfriend with his profile. You're a saint. That's so sweet.

I love him, but I don't want to marry him. Yeah, no, exactly. What about for women and their dating profiles? What should they be doing? I believe you say what you want. Like I wrote, I'm a feminine energy fail that wants an alpha mescaline take charge kind of guy. Like I wrote what I want.

And then only those like the last time I did it, my ex David, I met him on Tinder. And he is funny because he wrote everything, I'm everything you want, but he didn't put his height. And I go, how tall are you? And he goes six foot one. I was like, phew. Oh, thank God. You know, like, okay, I'll go out with you now. Thank God. Yeah. And when I went out with him, I didn't like him on the date. Oh, you didn't? I was like, we're done. No. And then he grabbed me, kissed me, asked me to

the Dodger game. And I was like, oh, there's the take charge. So, so you got to give them a chance to come in and give you the, okay. Because otherwise you're going to just keep canceling people and not getting to know them. Sometimes you're like, he's on the cusp. I don't know if I'm not, I'm not sure I'm attracted. Then they kiss you and you feel a little tingle. Okay, that happens to me all the time. I'm like, he's a great guy, but I'm just not attracted to him. But if you're not not attracted to him,

this is like, if he's cusping, he's like, ooh, something was, I felt something was there. It's like, ooh, I wanna see what he's like naked. Like then you're like, okay, something was, I felt something on the stairs. Like, ooh, I want to see what he's like naked. Like then you're like, okay. You're curious. You're curious. You're dating curious. And then you go there, you go on there,

but don't give exclusivity. The only thing is if you have sex, like take the clothes off, skinny dip, kiss here, don't kiss in or in. Skinny dip, I love it. Don't go here or here. Okay, yeah, so you've talked about this. You've said that you think make the guy wait until you're-

No sex before monogamy. No sex before monogamy. Because of oxytocin. So let's talk about the science. Let's talk about this, okay. So women have oxytocin and they can be bonded to a loser, like the gas station timid. And this person won't change your brain,

your chemicals in your brain, to make you feel you're so in love, you could commit suicide over it. Yeah. And women have done it. So how do we protect ourselves? Where men only have oxytocin when they have vasopressin. So the way a man falls in love is by doing things for you.

And I'll say it twice. Men fall in love by doing things for you. Let that settle, not by you doing things for him. So if you do his laundry, you do his cooking, he's not going, Oh my God, she's a great girl. She's going, aren't I great that she did this for me? That's how they have perception of reality is. When they get vasopressin, they immediately go to oxytocin.

So the minute you have sex with them, they're madly in love because they've already done all these things for you. I built your IKEA shelves. I took care of your dogs while you went on a business trip. They're doing stuff for you. And then you all wanna learn stuff together. So let's say he knows how to ski and you don't,

like that's on my bucket list. He teaches me, I'm like, oh, buddy Hill, I'm gonna make him proud. He's gonna feel like, like that. Right, exactly. And when you start doing things for him, you're his mother, he sees you as the mother. That's so interesting.

When you have sex without doing things, I'm like, you hit it, you had drinks. When you drink, you become masculine energy. Feminine women become masculine. It kicks out the brain part of the brain. What? And you become aggressive. Oh my god. Because all the times you got drunk and you were aggressive, you're like, woohoo! Yeah, no you're right. And like Vicky, woohoo, right? I'm never drinking ever again. So that's what happens and then oxytocin will kick in, even if it's a bad orgasm or you're just like, you know, touched you down there or whatever. And so we don't want that because then there's no protection for them.

Whoa. When you get to 50, menopause is average 53, but when you get to 50s, your estrogen starts to diminish and your testosterone starts to rage. His testosterone starts to diminish and his estrogen raises. And by the way, when he has sex with you and has an orgasm, 90% will go to sleep if you don't keep him awake. Like, let's

watch a movie. But he'll roll over after one point and fall asleep. His testosterone drops. So then he leaves the house. Maybe you hear from him once in three days and he didn't ask you out. Because he has to miss you by letting his testosterone raise up. Okay, that's so fascinating. And that's why the rubber band stretch creates more testosterone. So what about the whole theory men fall in love with bitches? Okay, so my friend Sherry wrote that book. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I know a lot about that book. Yeah. And I am creating a show with Anna Christina called Black Hat Academy. I'm producing it, and she's like that. I don't believe in the bitch theory. I believe in the aloof with a smile. Okay, explain that. So that's more mysterious.

So a bitch is a bitch. That means he's attracted to a bitch. Right. And that means something happened in his childhood to be attracted to a bitch. Because a normal person would go, you're a bitch and bye. Right, cause a bitch is someone who's mean. Right, and always nasty.

I have a friend doing that right now to a guy and she's thinking of keeping him in check. And I'm like, you're not gonna last. So what did he say to her last night? You're mean. You're mean. You're mean. I don't know about this.

She gave him second thoughts. We don't wanna give him doubt. Cause if you give him doubt, it'll stretch. So you're aloof. You're like, oh my God, that is so nice that you wanna go out Wednesday night. But I have plans. Maybe give me a call, I don't know, tomorrow

and I'll figure something other night out. Bye. Okay, so not being so available. Not being available. Making them more cordial a little bit. But you can also be like, when you're in a relationship with him, you can be smiley and not talkative

and just let him listen to him. And he's like, what are you thinking about? I'm like, no, I'm listening to you. That's all. That's not playing dumb a little bit. No, that's like listening and smiling and being like content with yourself because the energy is going down and he's like,

whoa, whoa, whoa, I need a razor back up on you. So he's gonna work for you. So it's all subtle energy cues, by the way. Everything is energy, you know that, frequency, vibration. I'm not talking just a lot of attraction. I'm just talking the way we handle people. If you listen to the CIA experts on body language, they're going to tell you subtle cues, he's lying, he's telling the truth, all by energy. So if you go like this,

you sit back, he's driving, he's telling you a story and you're like, he's like, what are you thinking about? You're like, I'm listening to you. He's now feels good. And he's like, she's a listener. But you could be thinking about your nail salon and you're thinking about oh my god i gotta pick up my kids at three like he doesn't know what to do. Don't give him so much don't tell him every detail. Okay interesting. It doesn't work that way. I think i do that sometimes. It's like my buddy and i'm like. And then that you can't make a guy a buddy. I oh like my last boyfriend i said you are not going to be my friend you're going to be my romance because i had made my boyfriend before that my friend

and it was the worst. Well then, yeah, because then it becomes a roommate. But see, I do want my best friend who I'm wildly attracted to. Okay. Is that possible? But it's the best friend you're wildly attracted to, it doesn't mean it's the best friend. What it means is you wanna spend time with him.

You have things in common. You wanna travel with him. You wanna be able to tell him your problem because if you tell him your problem, he's gonna wanna solve it because he's a guy. Only girls listen, men, like females and guys' bodies, who go like, you know, you're gay guys. Yeah, exactly.

They're like, oh my God, well, you shouldn't, you know, he's more like, all right, well, that person was dismissive to you, and this is what I would say to them, that's what a guy would do, let's fix it. But a gay girl, guy, whatever, is gonna go, I don't know what you would call him, he's gonna go, oh my God, that's so terrible,

have a drink. Like he's not gonna wanna solve your problem. No, that's so true. And you can't get mad for a man wanting to solve your problem because your whole job is to help you. You're right, you're right. So if you have a problem and you don't,

you just want someone to listen, you gotta go to your girlfriend. You can say at the top of the hour, hey, honey, I need you to listen to me, but I don't want you to solve my problem because I really just need a venting session. So he'll say, like my ex used to say, is this a venting session or do I fix something?

And he would say that all the time. And I'd be like, oh my God, I love you for that. I know I love that. Because he'd be like, okay, that's good. Like I was in trouble or something. He'd be like, vent or do you want me to make a phone call? Oh, I love that. okay, that's good. Like I was in trouble or something. He'd be like, Vent, or do you want me to make a phone call? Oh, I love that. Okay, that's really sweet.

So you just have to set the rules. A lot of times we get in relationships and we don't check in with each other and set rules up. Where he doesn't want to be annoyed and pestered. Right. He just wants to know, I have one of my girls who runs one of my offices. She said, my boyfriend, actually husband in her

had a check-in session and he says, you know, I don't really understand what my role is. And she goes, what do you mean? We're married for five years, we have a kid. He goes, well, my dad came home, he was in the fields, he was a farmer and his job was done. And then my mom cooked and then I'm doing the laundry. And she goes, yeah, but you like doing the laundry.

This is true, it relaxes me. She goes, that doesn't mean you're a wimp. Yeah, yeah. And they had a check-in about that doesn't mean you're a wimp. Yeah, yeah. And they had a check-in about that because he was feeling insecure about his role. Yeah, yeah. Well, and communication is everything. I mean, just being able to talk.

I think the issue is a lot of guys will not even have that conversation. Well, that's the problem. So when you, obviously, the number one thing to ask is, are you in therapy? And it's not where your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriend took you to therapy. It's like, I have been, well, you'll get in

in California a lot, I don't know about the East Coast. Cause when I go on dates here, they're like, yeah, my therapist said this. And I'm always like, cause I'm from the East Coast, we would never do that. And I'm like, you're in therapy. So, oh yeah, after the last divorce, my therapist was amazing.

I kept her, blah, blah, blah. Or I changed therapists or this one's a different kind of therapist cause I need to work on this. And I'm always amazed at that. But if you ask when you're in your 20s, 30s, or 40s, and you say, hey, you're in therapy, what do you feel about that? Yeah.

That's an important question. I agree, because anyone who's willing to do the work on themselves, I applaud. And if men are not doing the work on themselves, that's a huge red flag for me. I've heard a lot of people meeting guys at the Hoffman Institute. Have you gone to the Hoffman Institute? No, but a lot of my red flag. I've heard a lot of people meeting guys at the Hoffman Institute.

Have you gone to the Hoffman Institute? No, but a lot of my friends have. I've thought about going too. Actually, I've had friends tell me the same thing. That you can meet people at Hoffman. They're like, what? I'm like, yeah, cause they're going through the same thing. They're going through, and supposedly cute guys

go to this thing. That's what I've heard. I know, I wanna go. I haven't been there, but I've done Forum. I've done Forum a lot. Oh, what's Forum? I haven't heard about it. Forum is Est, where 300 people get in a room,

and they close the doors, and you can't do anything for three days, and you're kind of like sequestered, and you get to go home at the end of the day, but it's very long, like seven to whatever. We don't write, we're talked at. So Hoffman is more writing. Okay, more like-

I had an enlightening experience. I went there for the guy problem. I was in my 30s, early 30s, and I forgave my biological mother for giving me up. So you always get like an epiphany. The only bad thing is they want you to enroll everybody, you know, and I'm like, forget it, I'm not doing that. Yeah, no, that's what- I took the information and the wisdom, yeah.

So that's just someone talking to you, you're not like getting up in front of everybody. No, they have different, they tell you that, you only have 10% of your brain is working, and then they show you what, and the one thing that I had in my group was a Holocaust survivor forgiving the Nazis. Whoa. And that we broke down 10% of your brain is working. And then they show you what, and the one thing that I had in my group was a Holocaust survivor forgiving the Nazis.

And that we broke down, we were start crying. So there are breakthroughs. They make you get scared. And then they teach you that the only fear to fear is fear itself. And then you start laughing and you realize that everything's gonna work out. The universe has our back, like that.

Forgiveness is everything. Forgiveness is everything. Because who's that hurting besides yourself if you're holding onto that? The hate. Yeah, the hate. That doesn't serve anybody. And the worst is meeting a man who's in his 40s who's carrying around this anger and this hate

for a parent or whoever. What about the ex-girlfriend or the ex-wife? Oh my God. The first thing you'll hear on that second date, maybe not the first, is like, oh, the bitch is calling me. She's blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you call her that?

Yeah, right. That's disgusting. And then I'm like, I've seen that. And I've seen where they are so mean to the ex. I'm like, she had two of your kids. I know. You're an evil human being. You don't want to pay this. You don't want to do that. Like, it's terrible. They're unapplicable.

I can understand if one side wants to get, you know, get peace and the other one doesn't. Yeah. So red flags. Yes. To talk about how you forget the waitress and the rest. Yeah. How they talk about the people in their lives. Agreed. Yeah. All of their exes because if the guy is blaming all of their exes for everything, I'm like, you're the common denominator. You're the red flag. The other red flag. This is a big one. You're dating a guy. Maybe he's not been married yet. And he's friends with all his exes. We call them collectors.

So in the industry. So he's a collector. And I'm like, unless you were married to that woman, what the hell are you talking about? Why are you guys still married? She's my best friend. We went out for 10 years and I'm like, is she dating anyone?

No. Then why are you talking to her? No. Okay. That's great advice. Collectors, you don't want to collect her. Hell no. Cady, I love you. I love you too.

Thank you so much for being here. Wait, tell everyone where they can find you too. Okay, well you can just hit me up on Instagram, or millionairesclub123.com. It's an S, millionairesclub123.com. Amazing, you're the best. You're the best. This was so much fun, thank you.

I've been listening to you, watching you, and don't forget to watch, honestly, Cavalieri. Yeah, I love you! I'm from Perotting it all week. I love you. I know. You're so sweet. All my friends are watching and call me, it's, Chris, I really like that. I'm like, yeah, she is.

I love you. When you did the kids show was so cute. But you did all three of them. They're gorgeous. -♪ I got it, I the power. I got all the power. Yeah, I got all the power. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.