Let's Find Out - Santa Sold Shrooms: The Deep History of Santa | ASMR

Episode Date: December 29, 2019

Santa Claus is one of the last living mythical figures. The image of the modern Santa is derived from a few 19th century children's stories, but the idea these were based on goes back hundreds, and very likely tens of thousands of years into the past of humanity. Also known as Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Saint Nick, or Kris Kringle, Santa is a legendary figure originating in Western Christian culture who is said to bring gifts to the homes of well-behaved children on the night of Christmas Eve (24 December) or during the early morning hours of Christmas Day (25 December). The modern Santa Claus grew out of traditions surrounding the historical Saint Nicholas (a fourth-century Greek bishop and gift-giver of Myra), the British figure of Father Christmas, and the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas (himself also based on Saint Nicholas). Some maintain Santa Claus also absorbed elements of the Germanic god Wodan (AKA Odin, Wotan), who was associated with the pagan midwinter event of Yule and led the Wild Hunt, a ghostly procession through the sky. Santa means "Saint" and Claus is short for "Nicholas." So it's easy to follow the evolution of the 4th Century, Turkish Bishop as his life became a story, and the myth became a symbol for good behavior, glad tidings, and warm gatherings. But, thanks to the author of Santa Sold Shrooms, Tero Isokauppila, the core ideas of Santa's character may have roots much deeper than even early Roman Christianity. Let's find out why Santa may have shamanic origins and a more magical past than the modern image of Old Saint Nick let's on. #Christmas #history #Santa #ASMR

Now that we got that little primer out of the way, let's tap into Santa Ssold Shrooms. And to find out, let's see exactly what they're trying to convey here. It's a cute little story that's essentially about a girl. Or maybe it's about the father who reads to his daughter. A very bright little 10-year-old-ish girl, very bright, who set in the modern times. I like this book because it's probably not going to be in terms. Christmas literature it's probably not gonna survive a thousand years into the future and form new you know Christmas traditions but it is one of the many new

insertions into the main stream and spirit of the Christmas conscious consciousness conscious you know sense of what Christmas is just like and I I didn't have the one with Santa on it maybe this maybe they stop putting them on on these I don't know but the modern conception of Santa is only about a hundred and Maybe 150 years old at most and It just goes to show you that Traditions you have to really ask yourself why they're still around and why they Certain things do drop off and get discontinued and other things just get translated and transformed and manipulate and other things just get translated and transformed and manipulates and manipulated and you know still endure for some reason and Santa Claus is a pretty old

archetype or trope so let's dive into a little bit of we're gonna say alternative for now history of Santa Claus maybe we'll maybe this book will in fact make an impact inspire the next Terence McKenna but this book is Built to be, it looks like it's advertised to be sort of a children's story. More of like a young adult genre. Storytime with Daddy is how it begins. It's a father and daughter and the grandmother is a A role later on in the book.

It starts off once upon a time There lived a curious young girl in a village far away And the girl was so curious that her favorite thing was actually a little bit of a little bit of a village far away. I'm the girl was so curious that her favorite thing was actually to listen to all the stories of the village elders and she would listen to them all day and then at night rigorously fact-check their wild stories online on the internet she was only 10 years old but she wanted to know everything about everything so a very ambitious industrious 10-year-old late one winter the young girl came to give her father a hug and a kiss good night it was bedtime And this was their tradition.

But on this particular night, the young girl wasn't tired. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She said, Daddy, tell me a story. So she jumped into his lap and her father was not one of the village elders. But the girl thought he was the smartest person in the world. Would you like to hear the real story of Santa Claus? Her father asked. Christmas was right around the corner, so there was no time like the present.

He thought. Yeah, very much, she replied as the fire crackled in three stockings, daddies, mammas, and hers hung from the chimney. Well, okay then. Her father turned off the television and began. Chapter 1, the soda saint. You've seen pictures of Santa Claus on the side of a soda can before, yes? The young girl nodded. He's a jolly man with a red velvet suit and white hair and a bushy white beard to match. He has a wonderful, magical spirit, doesn't he? He does, Daddy, the girl replied. Well, actually, Santa Claus is a modern term for Saint Nicholas.

Her father continued, Santa means saint, and Klaus is just German for Nicholas, which is why so many people actually think he was German, but the little girl looked up at her father, as if she were expecting more. But he's not German. St. Nick was a Turkish bishop, famous for gift-giving to those in need. His legends spread to Western Europe eventually where St. Nicholas, later, through many centuries,

transformed into Santa Claus. The father looked down at his daughter, waiting for her to be impressed with his knowledge. The way she was with the village elders, She was enjoying the story, but this wasn't news to her. But Daddy, St. Nick is based on an older story about Old Man Frost. He was a Slavic Winter Wizard with white hair and a long beard and fur-trimmed robe and a magic staff. He kind of looks like Gandalf the White, the young girl said, a matter-of-factly.

Interesting, Daddy said, smiling. Do you think that's where the Santa image on the soda can came from? I do. the young girl said and she was right it wouldn't be the last time on this cold winter's night so briefly the the history behind Santa Claus is primarily in the West the way we look at it is primarily derived indeed from old St. Nick here and surprisingly St. Nick is actually you know St. Nicholas is a revered and Christian Europe, even outside his deep connection with the Santa Claus myth.

He was a Greek-speaking bishop named Nicholas, who hailed from a small Roman town called Myra in modern-day Turkey, Asia Minor. He was born about 280 AD. He was neither fat nor jolly. Instead, he actually developed a reputation as a fiery, wiry, and defiant defender of the Christian doctrine, especially during the great persecution. during the Roman persecution, known as the Great Persecution in 303, when Bibles were burned, and priests were made to renounce Christianity or face execution. And so Nicholas defied these eukes. He was memorialized for many things, his defiance,

and actually spent years in prison before the Roman emperor in his lifetime. Constantine struck with the image of the cross in the sky, I believe in the sky on the battlefield before a great battle and he won and was so convinced of the divine intervention of Christ in that battle. He converted at the end of his life to Christianity and as the relationship between the emperor

and citizens often goes, the rest of Rome. followed him in that conversion. So for about 10 years, 303 to 313, the Christian persecution raged on until it ended with the edict. So because of his heroic actions, Nicholas' fame lived long after his death on December 6th, which is still a date we'll get to in just a second. around 3.43. So he lived to the ripe old age of 60 back then. One of the best known, there's one or two widespread tales about Nicholas

and why he's a saint, one of the best of which contemporarily is that he saved three poor sisters from being sold into slavery and of course prostitution that comes with it by their father, by giving their father bags of gold for their dowries so that they could be married honestly.

Another one not so well known today but was widely popular in the Middle Ages was, I'm sure you can find out very Hansel and Gretelask. In this gruesome one, the three children walking about and exploring all day, as children tend to do, forgot the time. And when it was late and the sun was going down, the children were getting hungry, tired, and lost. And they came upon a lighted butcher's shop. So desperate and afraid, they knocked and said,

We're lost and hungry. May we eat and sleep? The butcher greeted them warmly and said, Do come in. Do come in. But as they entered, the butcher takes a sharp knife, cuts them up, and puts them in a large, salting tub. salting tub. Seven years then pass. A knock comes on the door and Bishop St. Nicholas appears saying to the

evil butcher, open your large salting tub. The saint puts his hand in the tub and appealing to God, says rise up, children. The children then awake, stand up, and their families joyfully welcome them home. So that's a, you know, very memorable story. I'm sure it was much more fleshed out, so to speak, in its oratorical version. So time often amplifies the greatest examples of heroism. Extraordinary lives are an eternal source of hope to the living. And so after the passing of decades and then centuries after the 300s,

in Nicholas' death. His popularity spread and then eventually he became known as the protector and patron saint of many activities but mostly travelers, especially in the case of children and sailors. Some of the most risky places to be in in life, I suppose. For several hundred years, coming out of the Middle Ages and 12 to 1500, St. Nicholas was the unchallenged bringer of gifts and the toast of celebration centered around his feast day on his death day December 6th and as with many cross-cultural phenomena the strict ascetic saint he took on aspects of earlier pre-Christian mythical figures like young talked about and so what he morphed into after this his legacy you know it was embellished and and really took root

in many local traditions all across Europe over centuries. There's the Roman agricultural deity Saturn, whose essence of cyclical dissolution and renewal representing the change of seasons and the blessings of plentiful crops at the year's end was honored at the winter solstice of very famous in multiple firsthand accounts in Roman literature called Saturnalia.

This is a festival where masters and slaves would reverse roles and the masters would serve the slaves, and there would be a leader of the slaves who would dictate what everybody does, and little cheap gifts and trinkets would be given out. And of course there'd be a lot, a lot of eating and drinking. There's the Norse god king, Odin, whose parallels to Santa slays and watchful eye on behavior of children are indisputable. He was often known to guide the moral behavior of children by, you know, threatening punishment or, um, uh,

promising gifts if they were good in a line with the local traditions, moral customs of the day. He, uh, he was a part of the reverence for evergreen trees and mistletoes and, mousel toes and, merry gatherings on the coldest of nights of winter and all those ceremonies a lot of that that we pull as again Carl Jung is directly from Norse mythologies in the Yuletide tradition and then there's the Slavic Russian dead moraz which I I talked about earlier so he was also a really really big influence on the image the modern image of Santa Claus as he as he was transitioned you know as he developed from the more traditional St. Nicholas European image there so that's just a little side note that's the essential

origin of Santa Claus at least the modern origin so we're going to go now into a more prehistoric or chapter two more like North Pole adjacent. And we have a picture here, the guy delivering letters to Santa to a mailbox at the North Pole that says not Santa. So where was I? Her father continued, appropriately as my little tangent took us. Oh yes, for over 150 years, Santa's been said to live at the North Pole with Miss Claus. But we know that's not exactly true.

The North Pole was covered. Oh yeah, and the girl interjects. The North Pole's covered in shifting ice in the middle of the ocean, the young girl said. The father said, of course, that's right. Proud of his little darling's wisdom. That place is too cold, Daddy, even for Santa, she said with confidence. Well, where do you suppose he lives then? His little sponge clearly knew more than she let on when she began the story.

Now it was time to see who knew more. These were some of his favorite moments with his daughter as she grew from a baby into a little person. He lives just below the North Pole in a place called Lapland. Right again. Lapland is a region that spans throughout the northernmost parts of Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Russia. It's the closest habitable land to the North Pole. There's snowy mountains and peaceful valleys that glow with northern lights. The little girl continued. It's like a real-life snowblow. Daddy, doesn't that sound like the kind of place Santa would live?

How do you know all this about Lapland? Her father asked. His little girl looked up into his eyes. Google Earth. In Chapter 3, Reindeer People Who? Did you see the reindeer on the computer too? No, I didn't. I'm surprised, he said. Lapland is home to one of the world's only population of native reindeer. What about the reindeer people? Did you see any of them? The young girl's eyes grew wide, as they did every time she learned something new. Who? They're called Samai.

They're nomadic reindeer herders, he explained. Nah, yeah, huh? Indeed, the Samai make everything they need to live from reindeer meat, bone, hide, and sinew. They also, they're known for their colorful, embroidered clothing. Like my Anna and Elsa dolls, the young girl said, and this was getting to be almost too much. Except they're real, he said, oh my goodness is so amazing. The girl said, barely containing herself. And suddenly all the features on her face contorted into a twist.

Her father recognized this look and it was her question face. But wait, what do the Sam I have to do with Santa? She asked. Santa is their spiritual leader. Santa was a shaman, chapter four. The young girl's mind was spitting with possibilities. On the one hand, now it made sense why Santa was so good at driving a team of reindeer at the front of his sleigh. But how did being a spiritual leader of an unknown tribe make someone good at giving presents?

Or get them to every shopping mall during a December shopping spree? The Samai believe that all things have a spirit. Her father began, by way of explanation. Animals, plants, rocks, the wind, everything. Okay, said the young girl, and sure of where this was going. To connect with the spirits, the Sam I make offerings to nature during big ceremonies. One of the largest happens at the winter solstice. Can you think of another ceremony that involves offerings that takes place in the

He asked. Christmas, she said. He knew she would know that, of course, but he kept going along this track. She would arrive at the correct answer to her own question. There is just a matter of this next bit. The semi responsible for performing the solstice ceremonies is the shaman, equal parts medicine man and priest. He visits each family's home to conduct the ceremony. With a little help from nature's pharmacy, he becomes the bridge to the spirit underworld.

See, how do you explain this to a 10-year-old? It's not easy. So he tried to sidestep it. The semi-winter solstice ceremony is the ancestor of Christmas. In Lapland, it eventually became known as the Yulululululoo. Then Yuloole became Yule in German-speaking areas, which later turned into Christmas. But how? The young girl. Okay, picture this, Daddy said.

One special snowy night, a reindeer-drawn sleigh pulls up to your doorstep. Upon it sits an older wizard-looking man, wearing a fur-trimmed coat and boots and a beard to warm him in the biting cold. Over his shoulder is a heavy sack full of gifts. That sounds like old man Frost, the girl said, connecting the dots. Bingo. That's the ancient semi-shaman, and he was called no-eyed. But since then, he's had many names, from Old Man Frost to St. Nick, to Father Christmas, Chris Kringle, Chapter 5. How Christmas got its name, King's some soon-to-be-revealed priest, Jews.

The idea of Santa Claus is an ancient, as an ancient Scandinavian medicine man had a young girl on pins and needles. Her father looked up at the clock and now it was really past her bedtime. We've had enough for tonight, he said. No, no, no, no, daddy, I don't understand, though. Why is it called Christmas then? This was a good question. In Lapland, the winter solstice marked the most significant time of the year. It's the end of continuous darkness and the return of light.

The Samai took this as a time to reflect inward and prepare themselves. for the year ahead. This tradition merged with the Yule celebrations centuries later, so why was it called No ID Christmas or Winter Solstice Day? It's complicated, darling. When the Christians came along, they adapted the solstice celebration to honor Jesus's birth, the father explained, and I guess since it's all about new hope and embracing the return of light, it seemed like a good fit. So Santa isn't related to Jesus? The young girl asked, her curious 10-year-old mind, now fully in gear.

Not really. That's not true at all, a voice came from behind them, cutting through the noise of the crackling fire. It was Mama Brigitte, the young girl's grandmother, carrying in a warm tray of apple cider from the kitchen. They have a lot in common, she said. We're about to find out what this guy's drinking and what's hanging from his pendulum there. After six, Santa and Jesus.

Two loaves of Jesus and a little Santa Cap. So Mama Brigitte grew up in Lapland and was visiting her son and granddaughter for the upcoming holidays. She'd become a regular visitor since the young girl's mother passed away when she was five. To the young girl, she was just mama. But her parents affectionately called Mama Brigada the crazy hippie grandma and she was about to find out why How exactly are Santa and Jesus connected again mom the young girl's father asked with a smirk Is Santa an independent contractor working for Jesus or do they trade notes on who's noty or nice? They drink eggnog together is it spiked with wine?

Mama Brigida raised her boy on stories just like this one, but all his formal schooling made him cynical about her ancient wisdom. She knew exactly what her son was doing with all his questions and she wouldn't take the bait. Plus, it did not take a genius to see the connection. Santa and Jesus are some of the most recognizable figures in the world. Each is known for their supreme gifting powers. They're both into the whole good and bad thing. And everyone is always asking them for stuff. When you look at Santa's shamanistic roots, there's a lot of similarities, she said calmly.

Do you think this is appropriate talk for a little girl before bed? The young girl's father asked, give her some credits, Fenn. Mama said, yeah, daddy, I'm practically in middle school, the girl said proudly. Besides, it's not like I brought up the am I need to mascara. or anything. Mother. What's the aminae musk, the girl asked, amina muscaria? Mama Brigitte repeated. It's a very special mushroom. Picture of Alice's, a mushroom here, and chemical symbols. Chapter 7, the lost symbol of Christ's Christmas. This was not how the young girl's father was expecting story time to go, and he knew he was about to lose control of it. Because he knew about

this super mushroom. It is, by most accounts, the world's most famous mushroom that nobody actually knows about. You've seen the red and white toadstool in old video games and maybe garden home statues, even in the mushroom emoji. What makes it so special? The young girl asked. Remember when I read Alice in Wonderland you last time I came to visit? How Alice fell into a rabbit hole and ate pieces of mushroom and started seeing things? Mama Brigitte asked. Oh, you know, you mean magic mushrooms? You swore you'd keep this hippie stuff to yourself, mom. Wasn't me, Mama Brigitte said. How on earth do you know about that? The dad said.

From the internet. Well, that's the internet for you. You can't have the sweet without the salt. What is it, the young girl asked. What does it do? This is a ceremonial mushroom. Mama Brigida explained. The Sam I are one of many indigenous peoples for whom it is a sacred spiritual food but what does that have to do with Christmas or Jesus the young girl said only everything said Mama chapter 8 the first Christmas gift today Christmas icons are credited to Jesus but most of our Christmas customs are actually Yule traditions you'll traditions come from 5,000 year old semi-traditions And then the Samoite traditions link back to this red and white magic mushroom.

Guess where this Santa mushroom grows, Mama Brigida asked. Lapland? Yes, but where exactly? I don't know, the young girl admitted looking to her father for a hint. They grow under spruces, spines, and furs. Daddy said, they grow under spruces, pines, and furs. Daddy said, Christmas trees, the young girl said. Her eyes lit up. She loved when new bits of knowledge started to make sense with what she had already learned.

Her face only got brighter as her grandmother described how the mushrooms are ripe for the picking around late summer, and that the shamans then need to dry and preserve them for the winter solstice ceremony. Shamans would hang the mushrooms on the branches of large spruce trees to dry, Mama Brigitte explained, conveniently leaving out the part where the drying process intensifies. the psychoactive properties of the mushroom. Just imagine a large tree covered with red-capped mushrooms symbolizing the coming holy day, holiday. The father directed his daughter's attention to their own Christmas tree in the corner. It was a large spruce tree covered in tinsel

and lights and a handful of decorations, and shining through it all dozens of red glass bobbles spread across the ends of all the big branches. And guess what the shamans did with all those drying mushrooms once they were done foraging, said, Mama. She had recognized that she had her granddaughter in Thrall. They brought them home and finished drying them by putting them in socks over the fireplace. The young girl looked at her Christmas tree and then at the mantle of her fireplace. It was like she was staring into the living and living.

embodiment of the real Christmas past. This was the most amazing thing she'd ever heard or seen in her life. This is so cool, she thought to herself. How would she not found it anywhere online yet? A lot of good you are, Dark Web. Chapter 9, high as a kite, or a reindeer? It's a pretty cool, abstract painting of a reindeer here. So how does the solstice ceremony girl go, the younger last? With the mushrooms, I mean. Every year the shaman spent the days leading up to the actual winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, going from hut to hut performing his special ceremony for each family. That's a lot of ceremonies, Mama. Doesn't he get tired? I'm sure he did, sweetheart.

But he also had a strong team of reindeer pulling him in his sleigh. So that helped. Being able to fly from house to house saved lots of time, huh? Rainier can't fly, her father said. You know that, right honey? In a manner of speaking, that's not exactly true. Mama corrected her son. Mom, I thought we agreed.

No hippie stuff. He was forgetting the part of the story his mother had told him dozens of times as a child. The Reindeer of Lapland had a very unique diet. They loved Amenitas. In fact, it was there rooting around under the spruce trees that drew the shamans to the Amenitas in the first place. Like catnip does to cats, reindeer go nuts for them.

Upon eating them, they jump and leap around excitedly, kind of like they're flying. Maybe it was age or the responsibilities of fatherhood that allowed this to fade from her son's memory. Mama Brigitte expected, but she wasn't going to let that happen to her granddaughter. It's not just the reindeer either, Mama said. One of the most common experiences for people who eat aminitas is the sensation that they, too, are flying. Is that what they mean by hyas a kite in all those dentist viral videos? Waiting for her dad to answer, he smiled, holding back a laugh.

As the young girl giggled to her mama. Chapter 10, in through the chimney. The young girl's giggles quickly turned into a big yawn. Her father checked the clock again. She was now officially up late. And while her eyes were heavy, her mind was still light. In the mind's eye, the young girl could practically see the semi-shaman, wearing a furry reindeer rogue, carrying a sack of shrews.

He arrived on a sleigh, drawn by a flying Rudolph. It's basically Santa. Just then, a new log on the fireplace snapped, crackled, and popped, descending a plume of smoke up into the chimney. Once more, the young girl's expression twisted into her question face. Daddy, does Santa really come down the chimney? She said more of a statement than a question. He doesn't, does he?

Actually, my darling, the semi-shaman did come in down the chimney. Her father said, what? Really? Are you messing with me? Mom, would you like to tell her? You know the story is Finn, she replied, her beaming smile lighting up her face. Okay, semi-people, they lived in a kind of tepee made from cloth and wood and moss called a cota. He told his daughter, and at a solstice time, in the dead of winter, the doors of the quotas were usually snowed over.

This was Lapland, remember. It's near the Arctic Circle, the young girl excitedly said. Her father smiled and continued. Every coda had a fireplace to keep the family warm. To let the smoke escape, there was a hole right at the top, like a chimney. And if the coda got snowed in, that was the only entrance or exit. And the semi would use a ladder to climb in and out whenever necessary to avoid the blazing fire below. So at solstice time when the semi had guests like the shaman,

they would often come in through the same. chimney. The young girl could not have been more excited. She'd always felt like the story of Santa she'd heard on TV. It wasn't totally true. But the image of Santa coming down the chimney had always been one of her favorite parts. Chapter 11, it's beginning to look a lot like solstice. The young girl nestled deep into her daddy's chest, warm by the fire and comforted by the knowledge that Santa did, in fact, come down the chimney. Mama then picked up the story where the solstice of the solstice ceremony where she left off. Here's where the magic really begins. From his sleigh, the Samai Santa grabs his sack full of gifts and enters through the

chimney. Inside the coda with the fireplace roaring, he eats a he eats a healthy dose of ammeneidum mascara and beats a ceremonial drum while he chants. And from all that he needs, he and chanting and drumming, her father said, he starts to turn bright red. Looking pretty taken with the spirit. It's one of the classic effects of Amanita, Mama said. And once it kicks in, the shaman goes into a trance and starts to have visions. Does there hurt him, Mama? It's not always rainbows and reindeer, Mama's head.

Sometimes he might become sick to his stomach or become weak, go into despair. But other times, thanks to a count. chemical in the mushroom called mucinol. He falls over and giggles like crazy. Despair, the young girl asked. For a 10-year-old, it's an easy word, but not so easy to understand. Neither adult wanted to get too deep, so they just said mushroom visions can include nightmares, speaking with the dead or intense experiences like that. Oh, scary. It can be, said Sven. Samai said at this point, the shaman will release his spirit from his physical body. But where does it go? she asked.

Chapter 12. The world tree and the north star. And here we can see the parallels what you're almost talking about. So once the shaman's spirit leaves his body, it's free to travel anywhere in the skies, the oceans, or the underworld. On its travels, the shaman will ask the spirit, and the dead relatives if they have messages for the family. This was a hard concept to explain to the girl. Heck, it's difficult subject to wrap your mind around as an adult.

But Mama, how does the spirit get up to the sky or to the underworld and stuff? Does it fly? It climbs the world tree, said Mama. What's that? The young girl said, riveted. The world tree is not a new idea. Many ancient peoples believe in a world. world tree, a cosmic holy access in the origin of the universe. The world tree's roots stretched

down into the underworld and the branches of the tree reach the heavens. For the samai, the world tree even reaches the north star, Polaris, which is the brightest star you can see from Lapland. In the solstice ceremonies, the shaman spirit will climb the tree and touch the star. It represented truth and wisdom, which is why we now put a star at the top of our Christmas trees. For the semi-Penasea trees were holy in that same way. Those are the Christmas trees. Uh-huh, very good. And the Santa mushroom can't grow without them.

The spruce or the fur or the pines. The girl says, Daddy, remember how I told you about my science class last week? our teacher said that the pinnial gland in our brains is named after the pine cone and guess what mama said teasingly that gland is the center of our human soul my soul is in my brain in your mind mama said when the sam i talked about the mushroom tapping into the god within that's what they meant chapter thirteen okay santa traded shrooms the young girl was she didn't have the words to describe all this talk of soul glands made off pine cones. When she gets older, she'll be able to recognize that this part of the story was metaphysical. In the meantime, though, it brought her back to a more basic question. How long does it take for the spirit to climb the tree? It can last several hours, Mama said.

And what happens when he gets to the top? The shaman returns to his body, completely exhausted. The family in Cota waits for him to gather up his energy so he can relay the messages he received from the spirits. What kind of messages? Oh, wisdom from their ancestors, visions for the New Year, other revelations from beyond. Neat. Based on his visions, the family will make offerings to restore the balance in their life. And they'll also make payment to the shaman with gifts of goods, food, and their own. food, especially reindeer milk. It's too cold for cows in Lapland, I bet. Chapter 14, don't or do eat the yellow snow. So outside go to the shaman's reindeer,

waiting for him to come out and relieve himself on the snow. It's nothing gross like that. Why would an animal ever lust for pea-flavored snow? Well, the magic parts of the eminida are not all my metabolized in the body and remain active in the urine. So in fact the shrooms remain potent after six passes through the human body. It was actually safer and more powerful to drink emanate urine than to eat the mushrooms whole. This is why drinking urine was not rare indigenous cultures. The shaman may even drink his own urine to intensify the effects. So it was now, it was also how those in attendance could join the shaman on his journey into the underworld. I'll try explaining that to an inquisitive 10-year-old. The girl didn't even get, the young girl's father didn't

even give it a shot. Do you remember how your British cousin Hannah said she gets pissed at her college parties? Uh-huh, the girl said fighting off sleep. That expression came from the solstice ceremony. That's all you need to know. Chapter 15, noddy or nice. sweet yawn, the girl was about to fall asleep. Mama kissed her on her forehead and her father scooped her up. Did we ever tell you the real story of the Christmas elves? Uh-uh, the girl said. In Scandinavia, there are these tiny beating beings called Tom Ten. They live in people's barns or sanas and watch over their family. They look like little garden homes, small with a long white beard and colorful pointed cap. We see one.

looking in the window right there. Her father looked down in his daughter and he opened her bedroom door. She was almost asleep. Sure they bring us good luck, but the Tomten were a mischievous bunch, like the leprechauns. When you think nobody's looking, the Tomten are. They watch your every move both day and night, being bad or good.

The Finnish call them Jolulu Tonto, Christmas elves. How do you think Santa watches that many of you rascals at once with an army of tiny gnomes? Her father tucked her in the bed. So you better watch out and you better not cry. Because if you're bad at Tompton, we'll see you and tell Santa, and that'll make you very unlucky indeed. Kissed her on the forehead.

If you're good, though, they'll leave you generous gifts at your front door once a year at Yule Tide. So leave the Tompton a thank you bowl of port. and don't forget the butter or hopefully a nasty trick on you her father paused to admire his precious daughter one last time you can also leave a glass of reindeer milk for Santa he said with a chuckle as he backed slowly out of a room and turned off the life he get into the concept and that Jesus might have been a mushroom remember that book you read in college about Jesus being a mushroom the one you couldn't stop talking about mushroom iconography

shows up again and again in Christian art. The halos behind Jesus and the saints definitely resemble the mushroom cap. The Holy Grail could have easily been an upside-down Ammonita cap. Or the literal sacrament of Christ, the symbolic blood and flesh served at the last supper. Yeah, and that's how Jesus turned water into wine. Aminita urine. Don't get smart with me, she said. Whatever the ultimate truth is,

There is definitely some sort of connection. Chapter 17. So Santa was spiritual, some kind of spiritual shaman healer. What do I care? So there's a name for this process of sanitizing ancient wisdom for modern consumption. It's called spiritual bleaching. In the worst part of it, at least as far as Mama knew, was our tendency to repackage it for sale.

So there's many examples. where we've taken sacred and indigenous rituals and turned them into a business. Just look at your own daily habits. For example, the sauna in your garage was used on days long, life-changing vision quests. Today they're almost in every gym as a pleasure carrot at the end of a workout. You also like to practice yoga, which is an Indian path to enlightenment. Today, now you can find hot yoga classes on every blog and yoga's becoming a marriage. Yoga's become an American path to quick high and washboard apps.

Alright, fine, but are you any better? Blah, blah, blah, you've been using your horoscope to get you a date. So that's spiritual cleansing. You forget the old traditions and lose the real stories. You might even completely dismiss the dark past of holidays like Thanksgiving. And that's exactly what unfortunately happened to the Samai. The church in the crown targeted their shamans in the 19th century. They accused them of heresy and witchcraft, and like most indigenous cultures, the Samai had no choice but to submit to the stronger powers.

As a result, the Samai's sacred indigenous traditions slowly disappeared. Eventually the age of shamans came to an end, while Jesus and St. Nick rose up in their place. Chapter 18, a drug by any other name. So Mama and Spend agreed that cultures can be wiped out by the removal of their sacred customs, not just through the death and war, but history is also rewritten by the victors. But the mother and son still differed on what the young girls should know. You think it was smart to bring up magic mushrooms? Your grandchild is very smart and could easily find them online.

The most common magic mushroom, psilocybin, is known for a euphoric, one-with-universe trip. The Santa mushroom emanated muscaria, on the other hand, is a dark psychedelic. While not lethal, it can hurt you. It operates in the body the same way alcohol and popular sleep drugs do. One or two can cause nausea, a distorted sight, and sound. Six will knock you on your bottom. Sven knew that the little red toad stools related to the two of the world's most poisonous mushrooms, the destroying angel and the death cap.

In addition, Amanita's main compound, ibotinic, ibotinic acid technically eats your brain. So if she stumbled upon the wrong variety and had too much, it could be bad news. This was worrisome to a father with a curious child. Well, you know I love my psychedelics, Mama said. What? Our government has sold as soda with cocaine in it or cough syrup with heroin in it. Shrooms are way less dangerous than those. They can even help people with trauma and terminal illness and addiction. Look at the research people are doing. It's amazing.

Yeah, I agree with you. And one of these days, she'll need to understand that. But today is not that day. This story, a nice little tight closing, nicely wrapped up. They hadn't connected this deeply since the death of his wife, and the young girl's curiosity tonight brought back a connection that had been lost for a long time. It was only fitting that the peculiar origin story of Santa Claus made this happen. After all, the main purpose of the semi-tradition was not to eat the shrooms and see monsters,

but to connect families together year after year. Indeed, Christmas was and is a celebration of generosity and gratitude and family time. This is the real magic of winter solstice, not its materialistic sugar coatings. Inspired by the Samai, we too can celebrate Christmas with joy and music and light a candle for loved ones lost, meditate on our deep connections to the universe or God, honor Mother Earth, and make offerings to her. Go on a spiritual journey and retreat. Seek guidance from community elders.

Invite messages from the spiritual world. Use intoxication as a means to connect, rather than as a life vest, like so many of us do, to get through the holy days with our disconnected families. All this can help us enter the upcoming year with increased awareness, and good spirit. Perhaps in this way the Christmas magic will radiate into our lives

because it's real. So Merry Christmas to all you guys out there, and I wish you nothing but the best. Have a happy New Year, and be well.