Let's Go To Court! - 199: Shawn Bentler & War Machine

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Shawn Bentler had money trouble. He wanted money desperately, but didn’t want to work for it. In fact, Shawn was so bad at showing up for work that he got fired from the family business. He later got fired from another job when he told his boss that he was overwhelmed by the sudden passing of his father. (His dad was very much alive.) But at some point, Shawn came up with an idea. If his family was dead, he’d inherit a lot of money.  When Christy Mack and Jon Koppenhaver, a.k.a. “War Machine” met on a photo shoot for Hustler Magazine, Christy was indifferent. She wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. She valued her independence. But she and Jon got to talking, and she was charmed. She’d never had someone shower her with so much love and attention before. Within a few weeks, they began dating. A few months later, the violence began. And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: “The Case of Jon Koppenhaver,” JCS - Criminal Psychology “The tragic love story of Christy Mack and MMA fighter War Machine,” by Jane McManus for espn.com Christy Mack’s twitter account “Cage-fighter War Machine blames anti-male society for his domestic violence in suicide note,” by Scott Kauffman for rawstory.com “Ex-fighter War Machine gets judge to postpone trial,” by Ken Ritter for the Associated Press “War Machine sentenced to life for brutal assault of ex: Inside the MMA star’s fall,” by Mike Bohn for Rolling Stone “Christy Mack vs. War Machine: The whole ugly case, explained,” by Meera Jagannathan for the Daily News “Porn star Christy Mack’s alleged ‘rape fantasy’ new focal point of War Machine abuse trial,” by Jessa Schroeder for the Daily News “War Machine blows ‘offensive’ kiss after arguing that porn star ex cant’ claim rape because of her job as sex worker,” the Daily News “MMA Fighter ‘War Machine’ arrested in Simi Valley, was sought in Las Vegas beating of ex-girlfriend,” by Melissa Palmer and Mary Beth McDade for KTLA In this episode, Brandi pulled from: “Shawn Bentler” podcast episode, This Is Monsters “Shawn Michael Bentler” murderpedia.org “Man charged in killing described as unreliable” Associated Press “Trial Opens for Man accused of Killing his 3 Sister, Parents in Iowa” Associated Press “Judge to visit home where man is accused of killing his family” by Amy Lorentzen, Associated Press “Emotional day for Bentler family” Associated Press “Remembering the Bentlers” by Melissa Shriver, KHQA News “Killer’s Children Get Millions” KTVO News “State v. Bentler” Findlaw.com YOU’RE STILL READING? My, my, my, you skeezy scunch! You must be hungry for more! We’d offer you some sausage brunch, but that gets messy. So how about you head over to our Patreon instead? (patreon.com/lgtcpodcast). At the $5 level, you’ll get 28+ full length bonus episodes, plus access to our 90’s style chat room!  

One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts! I'm Kristen Caruso. I'm Brandi Egan. Let's go to court! On this episode, I'll be talking about War Machine. And I'll be talking about a family annihilator.

Oh, this episode's gonna be rough. What's War Machine? You don't know this story? No. You know this story. What's War Machine? The fighter? War Machine? You don't know this story? No. You know this story. What's War Machine? The fighter War Machine? No.

You don't know this story? Christy Mack, the porn star? No. Brandy, hold on to your hat. I can't believe you don't know this one. Oh, you're in for a terrible treat. Oh, excellent. Yeah, and I'm guessing I'm in for a terrible treat.

You sure are. It's a family annih, excellent. Yeah. And I'm guessing I'm in for a terrible treat. You sure are. It's a family annihilator. Yeah, yeah. Your specialty. Kristen. Oh, oh, I know what you're about to do. You're about to kiss my ring. Kiss my ring.

Oh, you an apology. The world, it seems, has waited. And you're correct. Nepotism is alive and well in this world. I'm sorry. I've never been more wrong, except maybe that Florida thing. Brandy,

how's it feel to be wrong? It's not great. You taking it well? No, I hate it. My sincerest apologies. You know, I hate it. My sincerest apologies. Uh-huh. You know, I'll forgive, but I won't forget, Brandy. That's the thing.

Everyone, please write down this moment where Brandy pretended nepotism didn't exist. And I had to school her. Oh, Brandy. Gosh, it brings me no pleasure. You know? I bet. Yeah. Okay.

Just a reminder, everyone. This is our last regular episode before we go on our winter break. Unce, unce, unce. Everybody, I was doing really sexy dances. I don't know about that. But don't worry. If you want more of us, if you miss us while we're gone. If you don't know about that, then how do you explain your giant lady boner?

Hmm? Hmm? You didn't think I'd call you out, did you? I didn't. I didn't think you could see my lady boner from over there. Anyway, if you are going to miss us while we're on break, please check out our Patreon.

We will be continuing to put out bonus episodes over there, both in December and January, the new year. And then we'll be back with regular content again in February.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We both have new faces. What did we do? What if every time we took a break. What if we came back with facelifts? Okay.

I always think about like how awkward it would be if like we got work done, but we wouldn't admit it to each other. We weren't acknowledging it at all. Yeah. So we're just like, hey, you look really frozen. You look so well rested. Like you really got some rest on our break. And I'm like, rest?

We're like Rest-a-lin. What's Rest-a-lin? It's like fillers. Oh. A really good joke. Oh. Thank you. Anyway, check out our Patreon.

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All right. Kick this thing off. All right. Let's talk about a family annihilator. This is a family annihilator that I had never heard of. One of my clients told me about this. So shout out to my client, Kennedy, for this case recommendation. And I think a lot of people will not have heard of this because there's like no coverage on it anywhere.

Did Kennedy make it up? No, it's real because I found news articles. And I found one really good, like, all-inclusive source. It was a podcast called This is Monsters. Why are you shaking your head? We are the only podcast. We are most certainly not. I really enjoyed this podcast.

It was very straightforward. No frills. Just the facts. Oh. Presentation. They don't go on a bunch of tangents. There were zero tangents. It was a very concise episode.

Interesting. Came in at about 34 minutes. Interesting approach to podcasting. Not really our style. So a lot of it comes from that episode of that podcast. Okay. Bonaparte, Iowa

is a small town along the Des Moines River in Southeast Iowa. Boasting a population of 359 Oh my. as of the 2020 census, Bonaparte was first settled in 1836 by William Meek, and he christened it Meek's Mill.

Oh. Yeah. But my dude, Billy Meek, had a major boner for Napoleon Bonaparte. Brandy, please keep it classy, okay? That's all I ask. So in 1841, he renamed the town Bonaparte. Wait. He renamed his own town after someone else.

Did he decide to become humble all of a sudden? I don't know. Did he decide to become humble all of a sudden? I don't know. And he also made plans for another town across the river and dubbed it Napoleon. Why do you like Napoleon so much? I don't know. Okay.

For whatever reason, Napoleon never developed, but Bonaparte, Iowa flourished. It survived the Great Flood of 1851. Did it really? I mean, if there are only 350 people there. So it's been. Yeah, I don't think it ever had a real boom. It's kind of on a steep decline as well. So there was no boom, but it did survive the Great Flood, which practically wiped out Des Moines. And it was finally incorporated in 1899.

Over the years, Bonaparte became one of those small, sleepy towns where everybody knows everybody and people leave their doors unlocked and nothing bad ever happens. ever happens. But all that changed with a 911 call on October 14th, 2006. It was 3.38 a.m. when 14-year-old Shana Bentler called 911 from the landline of her family's home. She told the dispatcher that her mother had told her to call. She said, my brother's going to do something. I don't know what. My mom's yelling at him saying, Sean, don't. In the background of the 911 call, Shana's mother, Sandra Bentler, could be heard screaming and saying, please don't. Please, Sean, don't. Then a gunshot rang out. Seconds later, the dispatcher could hear a creaking sound,

like a door being opened. And then Shana screamed, Sean, no! And the line went dead. The dispatcher attempted to return the call, but it went unanswered. At nearly the exact time the first call disconnected, a second call came into the 911 dispatch center. When the dispatcher answered it, there was no one on the line, just a clicking sound. The dispatcher ended the call and attempted to place a return call, but that call went to the voicemail of Shelby Bentler's cell phone. Shelby was Shana's 15 year old sister again the dispatcher attempted to return the disconnected call from the bentler home but again it went unanswered and police were dispatched to the home of michael and sandra bentler located at okay hang on all right two three Right. 23-894 Hawk Drive, Bonaparte, Iowa.

Oh, my. That's a nice house. Yes. So this is. They've got a pool. Yeah, it's kind of like a hunting lodge kind of feel once you get inside. Mm-hmm. Six beds, three baths.

Zillow lists it as only being 1,600 square feet. No, false. Three baths. Zillow lists it as only being 1,600 square feet. No, false. But there's about 1,200 square feet of basement area that's finished that wasn't counted in the official square footage. So closer to 3,000 square feet. Oh, I love it. Yeah.

It's a very nice house. And the Bintlers built this house for their family. Did they build it in the 80s? Yes, of course they did. No, I don't think so. Are you kidding me? This is 1980s fabulous. It's got 1980s written all over it.

Hold on. I think it was built in early to mid 90s. Hold, please. Year built, 1987. Boom. Nice. I was thinking that I read somewhere that it had been built in 10 years. That's so weird that you got something wrong again.

So rude. Anyway. So very unique house, very much a lodge style, whatever. Okay, anyway, back to the story. Okay. Two deputies arrived at the Bentler home at 3.55 a.m. and found the house dark with no obvious signs that anything was amiss inside. I'm sorry.

I just found a really cool place for 38 grand in Farmington, Iowa. It looks like it's out of the 1800s. I will close this tab. Okay. Hang on. Let looks like it's out of the 1800s. I will close this tab. Okay. Hang on. Let me close it. I apologize. I was trying to be sneaky.

All right. Go ahead. Go ahead. Anyway. So officers arrive at the scene. They arrive at the scene. The house is dark. There's no obvious signs that anything's going on there.

So the deputies knocked on the front door. Of course, they got no answer. So they walked the perimeter of the house and they eventually made it to a sliding glass door off the main bedroom. They used their flashlights to look inside the dark room and saw the body of Michael Bettler on the floor. They then made entry into the home through that sliding glass door and they checked Michael for a pulse, but found none. He was dead from multiple gunshot wounds. Next, they made their way out of the bedroom and down the hall, where they quickly came upon the body of Sandra Bettler. She was also dead from multiple gunshot wounds. At that point, the

deputies called for backup and exited the home as they were unsure if the shooter was still inside. As they waited for backup, they secured the perimeter of the home and checked the cars in the driveway to make sure no one was hiding in them. And when backup arrived, three deputies made their way back in the house to clear it and attempt to locate any more victims. The Bintler family was well known in Bonaparte. Obviously, it's a tiny town and they were a well-to-do family. They owned and operated a grain elevator and lumber company that served like the whole southeastern Iowa area.

As such, the deputies knew that Michael and Sandra had four children, three of whom still lived in the home. The deputies moved methodically through the house and made their way to the upstairs bedrooms where they found 14-year-old Shana sitting in her closet. The noise, the creaking on the door had been somebody opening the door and finding her hiding in her closet on the phone with 911. She was dead from a gunshot wound to the head. The phone she had used to place that 911 call was in pieces all around her. The shooter had fired a shot directly through the phone. Similarly, Shelby was found in her closet, dead from a gunshot wound to her head, and her cell phone lay on the floor next to her.

As I mentioned already, the Bentler family was familiar to the deputies, and they knew that there was one more daughter who lived in the home. But they weren't familiar with the home's unique layout, and so they had trouble locating 17-year-old Sheena's bedroom. Finally, they made their way to the basement of the home and they found this big open rec room area that had like all kinds of taxidermied animals on the walls and had this big gun safe. And the gun safe was open, but there was no bedroom down there. It was clear though, and I don't really understand this.

And I looked at the pictures and tried to figure this out. But it was clear to them from where they were standing in the basement that there was more basement, though, that they weren't able to access from the room that they were in. And so they walked back upstairs to the main floor and looked for another staircase. And they found it. And it took them down to a separate part of the basement. And that is where they found 17 year old Sheena's bedroom. I mean, that's no mystery, right? You go down to a basement and you're looking at it and it's like, well, this is much smaller than the floor plan of the house. Right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. All right.

So in the second portion of the basement, they found Sheena's bedroom and she had suffered the same fate as the rest of her family. She lay dead on her bed. In all, five members of the Bentler family had been shot and killed execution style inside their home. The Iowa Department of Criminal Investigation, or DCI, was alerted and all kinds of various law enforcement descended on the Bentler house and a full investigation began. There was one big question on the investigator's mind. Where was Sean Bentler? Sean Bentler was Michael and Sandra's 22-year-old son, and he was kind of the black sheep of the family. He had worked for the family business for a time, but it hadn't been a good fit.

So you've got to be really, really bad at your job when even the nepotism is not enough. So he had... Sorry, I totally just lost my place. Wait, I mean, okay, but their business was huge. It was like grains and lumber. They couldn't have found like a. I think this was like, you're not holding up your end of the deal. You're representing the family. And so he was like, fine, I don't want to represent the family anymore.

And so he left and moved an hour and 20 minutes away to Quincy, Illinois, to kind of like become his own person and not, you know, be representative of the Bintler family with everything he did. Sure. He had a hard time keeping a job, though, once he moved away. He worked for Lowe's for a while and he worked as a car salesman at a couple of different dealerships. And he was actually pretty successful at that when he would bother to show up for work. He had actually just been fired from his most recent dealership job in August. Sean had been missing a lot of work.

And when his manager had a sit down with him about it, he explained that he was just going through a really hard time because his dad had died of a heart attack. Oh, but that didn't happen. No. It had not happened. He was just like, oh, this whole story about how it was very sudden and he was, you know, helping

with his sisters and his mom and all of this. Right. Well, what Sean didn't know was that his manager was familiar with the Bintler family business, and so he called the lumberyard to express his condolences. Oh, shit. Oh, that's so bad. Only to find out that, yeah.

He's very much alive. Uh-huh. And so then Sean was fired. That's a bad lie, though. Yeah. I mean, that seems like. It's a bad lie, though. Yeah. That's really easily verifiable. Yeah. In addition to having trouble keeping a job, Sean had two young daughters.

I believe they were one and three. And it doesn't seem that he had much of a relationship with his children. And he had trouble keeping up on child support, you know, because he didn't, couldn't keep a job. Gotta have a job. Yeah, exactly. That's tough. So just things weren't going real well for Sean. So anyway, DCI sent an alert to the Quincy police.

So like that's like an hour and 20 minutes away, as I mentioned. And they said, you know, be on the lookout. Sean Bentler, please put him under surveillance. Something we believe he's a suspect in his family's murders. Like his whole family's dead. He's the only one that's not here. He was named in the 911 call. I've listened to Let's Go to Court. It's not a mystery.

And so they send that message off to the Quincy police. And in the meantime, back at the Bentler home, two important discoveries had been made. First, Sean's cell phone had been located on a table. Well, shit. In the hallway of the Bentler house. Yeah. Yeah. Second, fresh tire tracks had been located on a dirt service road that exited the back way out of the Bentler property.

It was this road that only someone with intimate knowledge of the property would have been able to locate and use. You're kidding. Yeah. So it was becoming quite clear to investigators that Sean Bentler was their guy. Brandi, I thought I told you I don't like a mystery. It's too titillating. They were like, we've got to talk to this guy. We have to find him.

But Quincy, Illinois PD was on it. They set up surveillance outside of Sean's residence and watched and waited. And shortly after 10 a.m., Sean Bentler emerged from his house, hopped on his motorcycle, and took off. Police followed him and ran his plates, only to find out that Sean had a suspended license and a warrant for his arrest due to a failure to appear in court on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.

So they pulled him over and they took Sean Bentler into custody. Initially, they just took him to the station, booked him on his, you know, warrant, took his clothes as evidence, and then they sat him down in an interrogation room. And an investigator just started out by kind of, you know, asking him, you know, what are you doing driving on a suspended license? You know, and he's like, oh, you know, I never do this. I never do it. I know my license is suspended. I had to get somewhere. And then, you know, just kind of feel him out a little bit they ask him about his family and you know see what his reaction to that would be and they wanted to know if he was close with his parents what about his sisters and Sean was pretty calm he was talkative he said that he was

super close with his family. His dad was really good about taking care of everyone in the family. And anytime he needed help or a little bit of money, he could ask his dad and it was no big deal. Then he went on to talk about his mom. He said he and his mom had a great relationship. In fact, the previous night she had surprised him and driven down to Quincy to see him. Sean told investigators that around 1030 that night, his mom had shown up at his house for a visit. She did this pretty regularly. She just, you know, 1030 at night. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. 1030 at night. She drove an hour and 20 minutes away from her house. She did this all the time. And when she got there, super common. She didn't come in the house. He went out to her car and just sat in the car with her and, you know, just chit-chatted with her. They did this all the time. I'm sure.

So, you know, 10.30 at night, she pulls up to his house. He goes out, sits in the Tahoe. They chit-chat for about 15 minutes. He told her that he was having some money issues, and she agreed to give him some cash to get by until he found another job. And that was that. Sean told investigators that she'd only stayed about 15 20 minutes. She drove

an hour and 20 minutes to his house stayed about 15 minutes and then drove an hour and 20 minutes back to her house. Did she take his cell phone? So how that happened or what? After she left. Okay okay he gone inside you know he couldn't go anywhere because this license was suspended sure so he'd just fallen asleep on the couch and he'd slept there until about seven o'clock the next morning and then sean added a

little something that investigators gonna raise their eyebrows at. He said that that next morning, so the current morning that we're at, he realized that he didn't have his cell phone. And so he figured he must have left it in his mom's car. In fact, you know what? The only reason he was on his motorcycle that day is that he was riding to his friend's workplace so that he could call his mom and get his phone back. Uh-huh. So it was just unlucky that they caught him right then after he'd murdered his whole family. So at the end of this little story that Sean has told, he added something to the effect of, yeah, I'm pretty sure I left my phone in my mom's car. And, you know, if she found it, she would have for sure taken it inside.

So I am sure that my phone is inside my parents' house right now. Yeah. You know. Obviously. Man, he's a real cool guy. Really smooth. Super casual. Yep, yep, yep.

At that point, investigators were like, okay, now's the time to make the move here. And so they told Sean that someone had killed his family. They didn't go into detail. They didn't tell him exactly who was dead. But at that point, Sean placed his hands over his face and he began to cry. Or perhaps he began to pretend to cry because according to one detective who was present that day, when he lifted his head from his hands. No tears.

There was not a single tear to be found. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When investigators then asked Sean if he had any knowledge of who or why someone had done this to his family, he said no. And when asked if he was involved in any way, he again said no. Asked if he was involved in any way, he again said no. Then, in what I personally like to imagine being a very dramatic moment where a member of the DCI like rips open the interrogation room door and walks in and slaps some papers down on the table. Is this person wearing suspenders?

I was picturing a woman in a power suit. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'm a little a woman in a power suit. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'm a little more old school sexist than you are. They then read to him from the transcript of the 911 call where both his mother and his sister identified him as their attacker. Well, Brandy, what the? What?

You've pulled a dateline on me. No, I said that at the very beginning. They said, Sean, no. Please, Sean, don't. Oh, shit. You know what? I was probably looking at that. You probably were, you asshole.

I'm sorry. I did not pull a dateline. I let you in on it from the very beginning. I apologize. Well, how do we know these two ladies weren't liars? Because all women are liars. That's right. Yeah.

So at that point, Sean stopped cooperating with the investigation and he was taken back to his holding cell. At some point after that initial interrogation, he called a friend of his to bail him out because at that point he was only being held on that failure to appear warrant. And so his bail was like a thousand dollars. And so he called his friends and he was like, hey, I need you to come bail me out because I think anytime now my bond is going to be increased. Yeah, just a bit. Like to a million dollars. Uh-huh. Please tell me his friend.

No, the friend was like, sorry, man, I can't help you. The friend had already heard about the murders and was like, okay, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's already put this puzzle together. It's one of those four piece puzzles. Yes, exactly. And so it's like, sorry, sorry, man, I can't help you out.

And Sean was right. On October 15th, 2006, Sean Bentler was officially charged in Iowa with five counts of murder. He waived his right to extradition and was transferred from Quincy, Illinois, to the Van Buren County Jail, where he would remain until trial. So now they've got to put, you know, a case. They've got pretty damn good evidence with the 911 call. And yeah. And his phone being found inside his parents' house.

But, you know, they want some more. And so they go to work to put together a case against him. Like he would get all the money. Yeah. Do you want to know how much? Oh, it's probably a lot, right? How much? $2.8 million.

It's not that much. I was expecting more. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. $2.8 million. That would all be his if everybody else in his family was dead.

It was the perfect crime. No, it was not. It was a terrible crime. So in the meantime, they take those clothes that they took from him when he was booked and they check them. Was it just like all gunshot residue?

No, there was nothing on them except for one sock. One sock. What? Had two drops of blood, two tiny drops of blood on them. No way. And so they test them for DNA and it was Sandra's blood. Wait, he changed completely except for one sock? That's not the theory.

Okay. No, the theory is that his mom was the only one he got close enough to to get any kind of blood on him. He shot them from kind of far away with a rifle. And it was like a.22 caliber rifle, which I don't know if you know guns. That's a small gauge ammunition. Yeah, I'm pretty knowledgeable about that. I don't fucking know what that means. That's the one that the bullets come out of.

That's exactly right. So the ammunition was small enough and he shot them from far enough away that he didn't get much of any blood on him. Well, that does make a hell of a lot more sense than he gets completely naked except for one sock. So the only blood it seems he got on him was two droplets of blood on one sock. But it was his mother's. It was his mother's blood. Like, that's great evidence. Yeah.

And then they started talking about people who knew Sean, his roommates, his friends. And it turns out he told a lot of people that his dad was cutting him off. His dad was sick of his shit. He wasn't going to support him anymore if he wasn't doing anything with himself. He needed to get a job. He needed to get in school. He needed to do something.

And he had told multiple people that everything was going to be fine because he was going to be rich when his dad died. Oh, shit. And that was going to happen soon. He said that?

Yeah. God damn. Yeah. Okay. Yep. But they had to figure out how Sean had been able to get to his parents' house.

He didn't have a car. He lived with a roommate. So they talked to this roommate, and his roommate's like, yeah, I did sometimes let Sean drive my car. And they're like, okay, what about the early morning hours of October 14th? And so his roommate's like, well, that night I got home at like 1.30 a.m. And Sean was up playing video games.

I went home, like went to bed right away. I know when I parked my car, I had well over a quarter of a tank of gas in it. Yeah. I'm positive. The next morning when I got in my car to go to work, my car was parked in the exact same

spot. Mm-hmm. But the gas tank was empty. Like, didn't think I was going to make it to the gas station empty. Wow. Mm-hmm. And he said, I know it's dumb, but I always leave my keys in my car. I leave it unlocked.

This is Iowa. Oh, no, I guess they live in Illinois. Whatever. This is a small town. You know, nothing bad happens here. That's the start of every one of our terrible stories. It is. Nothing ever happens here.

Yeah. This never happens here. Yeah. And so they had taken a mold of those tire tracks that they found on that service road at the Bentler property. And the tire tracks had been kind of odd. There had been two different tires present. And so they check out the roommate's car. And wouldn't you fucking know it? He had replaced one tire on his car.

And the other three were exactly the same. It matched perfectly. They were able to match the tire tread to his car, say that it was the exact same brand of tire, and they could even say it was made in the exact same factory as the tire that was on his car. I don't think they have enough on this guy. This is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. In the early part of the investigation, they had also recovered the murder weapon. One of the Bentleys own guns had been found thrown into a ditch just off of their property, you know, not far off that service road where maybe someone had driven, you know, an escape route so that they wouldn't be seen by the sheriffs who they for sure knew were on the way to the scene because they knew that 911 had been called. Yeah. They ran ballistics tests on that gun when they recovered it,

and it was a perfect match to the gun that had fired the bullets that had killed the five Bintlers. Yeah, it's a solid case. But you know what? What? Sean Bintler pled not guilty. I'm so excited for his defense. So Sean Bintler pled not guilty and his trial began in May of 2007.

He waived his right to a jury trial and opted for a bench trial before Judge Michael R. Mullins. Is he going for insanity? No, I think the theory on this is that you want somebody who's going to look at the case objectively and not emotionally. Because it's a really bad crime. Yeah. You're accused of murdering your parents and your teenage sisters. As they begged you not to. Yeah.

Immediately, the defense filed two motions. They filed a motion to suppress the 911 call. Do what now? Uh-huh. Because. It's really bad for their case. Well, yes. Yes.

And also, because the initial 911 call came in from Shana, who was relaying information that her mom was screaming to her. Oh, come on. That's hearsay evidence. Give me a break. Yeah. The judge was like, yeah, no, like we can also hear her on the call. So that said, no. Nice try.

Gonna allow the 911 call in. So then the defense filed a motion to exclude the 911 call in. So then the defense filed a motion to exclude the DNA evidence from Sean's clothes. You want to know why? Yes. Because those clothes were collected from him

when he was brought in on a charge of failure to appear. That charge has nothing to do with the murder charge. So that was an unlawful search and seizure is what that was. His Fourth Amendment rights were violated. Okay. Okay. So it seems that the prosecution was prepared for this.

And the investigators were prepared for this. Because, yes, his clothes were collected when he was brought in on that initial booking. They were not searched or processed until a search warrant was secured. Oh, yeah. They were. They were ready. Yes. And so the judge was like. Oh, yeah. They were. They were right. Yes. And so the judge was like, nope, sorry.

Man, I thought they had him on that one. I know. Yeah. And so the judge denied this DNA motion, right? To suppress the DNA. Sean Bintler at that point stood up in court and asked the judge to assign him new counsel. in court and asked the judge to assign him new counsel. He said that if his attorney couldn't even defend his basic constitutional rights, then he was not fit to defend him.

And the judge basically told him to like sit the fuck down. He was like, you have no expectation of privacy after you've been booked. Your constitutional rights were not violated. They followed. Yeah. They followed procedure here. Yes, your clothes were taken. They were not searched or processed until a search warrant was obtained.

And I understand you're disappointed, but that doesn't mean your lawyer is bad. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. In their opening statement, the prosecution told the court basically their theory of what happened that night. They said there were five brutal slayings that took place at the Bentler house. The evidence will overwhelmingly prove that the person that pulled the trigger each and every time was the defendant, Sean Bentler. And then they played the 911 call.

defendant, Sean Bentler. And then they played the 911 call. After playing the 911 call, they walked the judge through what they believed happened that day. Sean came to the house. He likely snuck in. No one knew he was there. He came in at three o'clock in the morning. He went directly to the basement, got a gun out of the gun safe. And they believe he went to Sheena's room in the basement first and killed her first and then went up to his parents' bedroom. And he knew that his father would be his toughest fight. And so he immediately hit him in the head with the butt of the gun and then shot him twice. At this point, his mother woke up and got out of bed. He shot her through the jaw. That's when she ran from the room and called for his sisters to call 911.

Oh, my God. He followed her down the hall and shot and killed her in the hallway. And then he went into each of his remaining sisters' rooms and shot them in their closets where they were hiding. Oh, God, that's terrible. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The prosecution told the judge that Sean Bentler would be the lone heir to his family's fortune, and he stood to gain $2.8 million as such.

stood to gain $2.8 million as such. In contrast, Sean's defense attorney, who he was not a fan of, David Salen, said that the prosecution was wrong. Sean Bintler got along with his family well and his mother gave him money that very night when she'd driven to his house and like that dna they're gonna tell you about on his sock that's because his mom did his laundry and she bled on it oh yeah come on and clearly he had no motive to kill his family.

Well, yes, he did. Yeah, he had 2.8 million motives. Oh, that's spoken like kind of a Nancy Grace, Brandy. David Salen told the court he loved his family, and he was in shock when he learned of their deaths. This whole ordeal has been extremely rough on him. Not only is his family gone, but he is charged with their murders. Yeah, but that's because he murdered them. Because he murdered them.

So how bad are we going to feel? So how bad are we going to feel? He then told the judge that this is all the prosecution's fault, all the fault of the investigation from the beginning. I thought so. Tell me more. From the beginning, the police did not pursue a single other lead in this case. Well, the 911 call, I don't know if the defense attorney was looking at Zillow listings at the time, but the 911 call,

his client was ID'd in that. Yeah, his client was ID'd in the 911 call. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I understand, though. If that defense attorney wants to go halfsies on that house with me, it looks like it's going to need some work, so I would appreciate a partner in this.

He said it's obviously possible that the Bentlers could have mistaken an intruder for Sean. No. Come on. No. No. No, his mom was not. His mom knows who he is. Yeah.

Yeah, their official defense on that is that Sandra wore glasses. And if she was awoken in the middle of the night, she wouldn't have put her glasses on. And that she just assumed it was Sean in the house that night. But Sean wasn't there. He was at home in Quincy asleep on the couch. Well, it sounds like his roommate did it because, you know, of those tires. No. That's devastating that his roommate did this.

Yeah. Also, the prosecution was able to present evidence that Sandra Bentler was at her home at 11 o'clock that night. She got on the phone with her niece on the landline. She must have just hauled ass. Yeah, because she got to Sean's house at 1030, stayed there for 15 minutes, and then made the hour and 20 minute drive home in 15 minutes. Unsafe, I say. Yeah. Yeah, this is just stupid. The defense said, it's clear from the moment of the receipt of that 911 call, and the evidence will show this, that agents of the state of iowa focused their entire

case on sean bentler and no one else yeah yeah yeah they did and rightfully so so the prosecution put you know a medical examiner on the stand, a ballistics person on the stand. They talked about the DNA evidence. They had a bunch of Sean's friends take the stand. They talked about, yeah, how his dad had told him he was cutting him off. And now he talked about, you know, gosh, if only I get my hands on my family's money, all my problems would be over. Honey, all my problems would be over. They had a friend get on the stand and talk about how he was present with Sean when he went to his family's house one time and took items from the family safe.

Jewelry of his mother. A bag of rare coins. And went with him and pawned them. Oh, man. So this whole story about how, oh, anytime he needed money, everything was great. The family was more than willing to give him anything. Really, why is he fucking stealing from them then? Obviously, the 911 call

was the prosecution's best evidence. I feel like they could have gone up there, played that, and been like, goodbye. Everyone, Brandi just pretended to drop a mic, and the sound she made for it was, That's what this noise a mic. Yeah. And the sound she made for it was.

That's, yeah, that's what the noise a mic drop makes. Uh-huh. Yeah, obviously. The prosecution's best witness, though, was the mother of one of Sean's daughters. So his one-year-old daughter, gosh, he was in kind of an on-again, off-again relationship with her mother. They had only been together a short time when she became pregnant. She broke up with Sean, according to her testimony, when she was about two months pregnant. And he had had no involvement in her pregnancy, no involvement in the early months of their daughter's life. And just recently, he had come back around and been like, I want to be a part of her

life. And they tried dating, but it wasn't going real great. And she was always kind of, you know, getting on him to pay child support. What a bitch. And so one week prior to the murder of the entire Bentler family, Sean had told her, don't worry about anything. I'm going to have plenty of money soon. And specifically mentioned something about his parents dying. Oh.

Yeah. My God. Yeah. Yeah. My God, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So then it was the defense's turn to put up their case, and they said that Sean Bintler didn't have motive, means, or opportunity to kill his family. He didn't have a gun.

I mean, he did know where the whole family kept their guns, and he how to get to the gun safe and he knew how to get in the house. And he did have the opportunity and he did have the motive. Okay, so they put Travis Holder, which is Sean Bentler's roommate, on the stand. The defense did this, okay? Okay. They thought that this was going to outline why absolutely Sean could not have done this. So they put him on the stand

and he talks about his car and they're like, okay, what time did you get home? And he's like, 1.30 a.m. And I went directly to bed. And they're like, okay, and what time did you wake up the next morning? And he's like, 7 a.m. And they're like, was Sean there? And he's like, yes. And so the defense was like like, was Sean there? And he's like, yes.

And so the defense was like, uh-oh. He totally couldn't have done it. Okay, but that timeline's terrible because if he had, I mean, he could have hung around a while before he left. Yeah, he totally could have done it. Yeah. Even driving exactly the speed limit. He would have had no problem making it in that window. Hmm.

This was a really bad move by the defense. But not quite as bad as their next move. Oh, no. Which was when Sean Bintler took the stand in his own defense. No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Here we stand in his own defense. No. Here we go. I am ready.

Yep. So he took the stand and the defense started out, you know, real strong, real emotional. They, you know. Tell us all about how much you loved your family. Yep. Weren't you there when each of your sisters were born? Tell us about how you remember holding them in the hospital. They're just little tiny babies.

And he talked about, yeah, how he remembered holding his little tiny baby sisters. And then he talked about how he'd always had this great bond with his mother, a bond that only intensified after he became a parent himself. He talked about how happy his mom was to become a grandmother. And then he spoke proudly about his father. He said, first and foremost, he was a provider for everybody. He put everybody else's needs first. No matter what he did, he was the best at it. And he went on to say that, you know, it was never a problem. If he needed help, if he needed money, his dad was always happy to do it. Always.

He said, I didn't ask a lot, but when I had to, my dad would take care of it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So why'd you tell all your friends that he was cutting you off? Yeah, exactly. And then he went on to talk about his love of his three sisters, and he described them in great detail. Sheena was a tomboy. She liked hunting.

Shelby was a girly girl, and she loved to cook. And Shana was smart. She was so smart sean's testimony came off very just straightforward matter of fact unemotional and on cross-examination the prosecution like lit into him they were like isn't it true that you stole your mother's jewelry and pawned it and he was like yeah yeah, I did. And they're like, what about all these people who got up here on the stand today and talked about how you were talking about how your dad was cutting you off?

What about that? He's like, I don't know where they're getting that information. I've never said that. And the prosecution pressed him about how his mother identified him, how his sister identified him on the 911 call. And he told the story about how his mom wore glasses and she must have just not had her glasses on and must have misidentified him. And so the prosecutor's like, okay, what about your sister? Mm-hmm. She wear glasses? And he had to be like, no. Like, so your sister just misidentified someone as you as well?

And he's like, I don't really know. Yeah, it was not good. It was not good. The trial lasted a week. Yeah. And then the judge spent a few days mulling over the verdict. Really? So here, this is interesting.

I thought that was odd, too, because I was like, really? Like, it's just out there. Like, isn't it pretty clear? The state of Iowa on a bench trial requires that the judge deliver a full written verdict at the time. They have to submit the full verdict and the reasoning at the time that they announce the verdict. And so that's why they wait the few days typically. But it was really hard for the remaining Bintler family because like Michael and Sandra both had a bunch of siblings. And so like this was just terrible for them. They lost their sisters.

They lost their brother. They lost their nieces at the hands of their nephew. Yeah. And so I read an article that was just like the family, just like the waiting for that verdict to come in was just horrible. But finally, the judge announced his verdict and he found Sean Bentler guilty. No. Of course. During Sean's sentencing, a bunch of people delivered victim impact statements.

Julie Bentler, who was Michael Bentler's sister, said, I will never understand how you could look each of them in their eyes and do this. Your mother begging you, Sean, don't, and you pulling the trigger and killing her anyway. I'm not sure God will ever forgive you for that. Greg Bentler, who's Mike Bentler's brother, said they built a successful business, and that, sadly, ultimately got him and his lovely wife and children killed by his own son's greed. Chris Mendez, who's Sandra Bentler's sister, said, I hate that when I want to talk to my sister, I have to go to a cemetery. to my sister. I have to go to a cemetery. Lisa Simmons, who was another one of Mike Bentler's sisters, said, I think you will be tormented for the rest of your life on earth and what lies ahead of you. I'd like to believe people pay dearly for their sins

and you are treated in life as you treat others. So, Sean, God help you. You'll need it. Woof. Woo. The judge sentenced Sean Bentler to four life sentences to run concurrently and one life sentence to run consecutively. So, he had to serve two back-to-back life sentences. He said that he couldn't speculate on how horrible the murders of his father and his sisters had been, but he could hear the murder of Sean's mother, and he knew it had been particularly heinous.

And so that's why he determined her life sentence should run consecutively to the other life sentences. Sean Bentler has appealed his conviction on the same grounds that he tried to get the DNA evidence thrown out at the beginning. So he appealed saying that his clothes were obtained in an unlawful search and seizure. And an appellate court ruled on that and said, yeah, no. Bye-bye. And so Sean Bentler remains in prison. And that is the story of a family annihilator.

Lord almighty. So my client, Kennedy, who told me about that, her cousins, I believe, live in Bonaparte. Oh, shit. Yes. That's how she knew about this case. When she was just there for like some family get together. They call it Thanksgiving.

It wasn't Thanksgiving because I saw her before Thanksgiving. They told her about this case. And then she got her hair done and she's like, oh, my gosh, I have this case I have to tell you about. Well. I wish I could idiot. Yeah, I mean, it's so senseless. Yeah.

Okay. Because he was convicted of the murders, his two daughters split the estate. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know that a one-year-old

is going to spend that money very wisely. Okay. I don't know that a one-year-old's going to spend that money very wisely. Okay. Well, it has to go into a trust. But it's funny that you say that because when— Because it's literally funny. Yeah. Anyway.

So when the mother of one of the daughters was on the stand, that's what the defense tried to say. Like, you stand to gain a lot from this if Sean Bedler is convicted, don't you? Well, yeah, I guess so. But it doesn't mean that I did anything. Or that I'm giving you false information. Yeah. That's the way the cookie crumbled, my dude. That's right.

All right. Well, that was horrible. That's per-yoush. Per-yoush. All right. Tell us about an MMA fighter and a porn star. Is that what you said? Yeah.

Do you really not know this? I don't, and it seems right up my alley. It really does. Okay. Shout-outs right off the bat. Thank you, Norman, for recommending this case. Caruso? Norman Caruso.

Yes. He recommended this to me. I have so many Normans in my life. Yeah, I was going to say, what are you friends with? People at a retirement village? I mean, how do you know another Norman? Also, Holden Dim Ancles in the Discord and Jessica in the Discord also suggested this case a long ass time ago. Okay.

So, you know, thank you to all. Let's see. So Norman recommended this to me after he watched a video on YouTube called The Case of John Copenhaver. And the YouTube channel is JCS Criminal Psychology. Okay. So I watched that. Also read a story on ESPN. I do not love the title.

The Tragic Love Story of Christy Mack, an MMA fighter, war machine. I don't like when it's called a love story. A love story when it's an abusive relationship. Yeah. But a lot of good information came from that, and that was written by Jane McManus. Also, Rolling Stone, New York Daily News, Las Vegas Sun, you know. Uh-huh. All the hits.

Okay. Brandy, I have a terrifying true story for you. On November 30th, 1981, a piece of shit was born. Oh, God. And it came to life. Like Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poop? That's exactly right. Only we wish this guy just sang some songs.

His name was John Copenhaver, but he preferred to go by the very cool nickname War Machine. At one point, he got his name legally changed to war machine but he did yeah we have to call him mr machine so do you have to call him war or do you i am calling him john because that's ridiculous okay all right and i'm not gonna keep track of like because you know here's the funny thing about when you do terrible shit so all of a sudden you're like, yeah, I know my name's legally War Machine, but you can call me John. Hey, jury, I'm John now. Yeah, because

when you're on trial for murder it probably doesn't sound great when your name is War Machine. That's just a little known fact that you learned today on this podcast. Brandy, I know you're a huge UFC fan, so John needs no introduction.

Just, you know, for the listeners, though, do you have any information? All right. For the uninitiated, let's talk about his background. John was born in, oh, gosh, how do you say this? Simi Valley? Don't ask me how to say stuff. We both got Re wrong whoops anyway he was born in California and his dad was a police officer Simi Valley thank you okay I'm probably wrong see me after class if you're wrong

okay anyway oh the jokes only get better from here, folks. Not true. His dad was a police officer and his mom was a nurse. And John had a rough upbringing. His mom had a drug addiction. And when he was just 13 years old, John's dad died in front of him from a heart attack. Oh, God. Yeah. So he had a traumatic childhood, but it seemed like he might turn it around. He got into the Citadel, which is a military college that my friend Erica's husband attended.

And that's a fact that I think you should all know. But unlike Erica's husband, John got kicked out of the Citadel. It seemed he had behavioral problems. He was always getting into fights. In fact, he got into so many fights that I like to think of him as the ultimate fighter.

And he must have felt the same way because... Because he went into the UFC? Because he auditioned for the hit reality show The Ultimate Fighter. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

You ever seen this program? I can't say that I have. Can't say that I have either, although I did watch some clips on YouTube. Man, it was really something. The show obviously debuted on Spike TV. Obviously. Obviously.

Obviously. And in it, a bunch of beefy dudes competed for a UFC contract. As I'm sure you already know, John appeared on season six. Yes. I was, you know, racking my brain

after so many seasons. There are a lot of seasons of this show. The ultimate fighter. Excuse me, I'm sorry. My God. So he was this very handsome guy

who could turn on the charm when he wanted to. He had a great smile, and he also had cauliflower ear, which is just like a regular ear but healthier for you. Oh, no. It's really hard to do a haircut around. Really? Yeah. Oh, are they super sensitive?

They're sensitive, and they're super hard. They don't move. Hmm. How many cauliflower ears do you get? Not a lot, but enough for me to know that. All right. But John was kind of dumb and he had a bad attitude and he was alarmingly immature. Are you ready for a story?

Is it a story about how immature he is? Because we're pretty immature, and so I feel kind of defensive about this. This is a whole new level. Okay, okay. So John has a ton of tattoos, including an anarchy hand tattoo, which that must have hurt. Yeah. I mean, oh, my God. And multiple neck tats.

And at one point, one of the coaches on the show was like, is that a grenade neck tattoo? That must be fun going through the airport. Yeah. And John was like, oh, no, what's tough in the airport is this belt. And then he pulled out this belt he had that was basically just a row of bullets. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Seen those before.

That's pretty badass, huh? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I see that lady boner popping. Oh, yeah. Seen those before. Pretty badass, huh? Mm-hmm. I see that lady boner popping. No. So he told this story about how he tried to get on an airplane with that belt on. And in the story, he acted like the TSA guy was the weirdo for not letting him on the plane with a belt of bullets. Yeah, no.

The TSA guy was doing his job. And you were an idiot for going to an airport with that thing on. Yeah. But yeah, in his retelling, he's like, and I told the guy, like, what am I going to shoot him with? My teeth? It's like, yeah, you're just not, we're not going to let you on. Yeah. Like, read the room, man. We have to take off our shoes.

We have to go to security. I can't bring liquids on here. You think you can bring a bullet? A whole belt full of bullets? Absolutely not. In confessionals, John's coach referred to him as a knucklehead and a little nutty and said that he needed a shrink, which in retrospect is what we call horrifying foreshadowing. Yeah, or warning signs.

I was watching this like, oh God. John started the show as an unpopular contestant. He didn't get much airtime. But when he did, it was usually for getting drunk and fighting with other dudes, which I feel like that has to be just, like, normal, right? I mean, it would be unusual if you didn't do that on the show. I don't know. I have not seen a full episode. The YouTube show also noted that he made, quote, crude and indelicate remarks over a

number of sensitive topics. Hmm. Hmm. Okay. I like examples, but all right, I'll take your word for it. But all that changed with episode eight, a very special episode of The Ultimate Fighter. Picture it. Young John, aka War Machine, is sitting by the pool on an artificial rock. He's shirtless, got his hat on backwards. And what's this? He's journaling.

He's a sensitive soul. Oh my gosh. Cut to a confessional with John. He's still shirtless and he has tears in his eyes. And he talks about how he thought he was over his dad's death, but now being in this house with all the stimuli gone and nothing to do but think, he realizes that he's not over his dad's death. That moment of vulnerability made John a fan favorite. But it didn't make him a good fighter because he went on to lose his fight in the first round. But even though he lost the show,

he'd been a popular enough contestant that he got a second chance. He and another fan favorite got to compete for a UFC contract in a pay-per-view fight. Oh. I will now describe that fight to you. Really? Yeah, here we go.

You ready? Okay. Two shirtless, shoeless dudes having a disagreement. They simply must scuffle. Their bodies glisten with sweat, possibly baby oil. They play cat and mouse. Bet you can't get me. Bet you can't get me but you can't

get me there's some passionate hugging on the ground some rolling around with legs wrapped around each other this goes on for some time and just when it looks like both men will explode John wins there you go mm- You'll see I am available for color commentary. Is it a fight? Is it a porn? We're not sure. It's really up in the air. But the good times didn't last long. Because I don't know if I've emphasized this enough, John lacked good judgment.

He did dumb shit. He said dumb shit. And he wrote dumb shit on social media. Oh, great. So in the summer of 2008, 37-year-old UFC fighter Evan Tanner went on a trip by himself through the California desert. And sadly, he died from heat exposure on that trip. In the aftermath of Evan's death, John decided that he had some insight to share. Oh, no. He got on MySpace, and here's part of what he wrote.

What's wrong, Brandi? You already seem horrified. I am. Here we go. No one's sure yet, but it sounds like it was a suicide. Sad thing is that it makes sense. What else is an underpaid fighter supposed to do at the end of his career? Cash in his 401k?

Collect social security? Start to work some shitty job for ten bucks an hour? No wonder why he took off into the woods. Probably reminisced on the days when he was a champ, the days when growing old didn't matter and took his life. Severe depression plagues many fighters at the end of their careers. Mark my words when I say,

he may be the first, but he isn't the last. Wow. Okay, so, I don't know about what these guys are paid. Might be a perfectly fine point, but yet you don't say, oh, you know what what i think it was suicide yeah when you have no fucking idea no kidding medical examiners determined that evan

did not die by suicide but you know john was pretty confident that he was onto something so he stuck to his guns you know how it is you know how it is. No. And UFC was like, okay, that's enough of you. We're done. And John handled that really well by publicly referring to the UFC as F word asses. And obviously not fucking. Okay, legit. At first I was like, why isn't she saying that? I know.

I realized like. Then I got it. Yeah, you got it. Brandy, I can see that you're worried about John's career. What's going to happen to him? Don't worry. He's fine. After that, Bellator Fighting

Championships signed John. But then John got on MySpace again. John, John, John. Hey, John, John. This is just a very level-headed political critique, okay? Oh, boy. Are you ready? He said that someone should murder Barack Obama.

Oh, not just Barack Obama. Hang on. And also, quote, every president to come until they can actually give us a candidate that is truly one of the people. Oh, my gosh. Just a super chill comment about murdering the president and every future president. Wow. You're not going to believe this, but Bellator released him after that comment. I guess those PC bitches were scared of a little free speech. Am I right?

But don't worry. John assured his fans that he would continue to speak his mind. He was so brave. He wasn't just brave, though. He was also a business cat. He decided he wouldn't just be a fighter. He would also do porn. wouldn't just be a fighter.

He would also do porn. He announced this on his MySpace with a post titled War Machine to Whore Machine, LOL. Which I hate to admit that I like it. That's pretty good, right? Yeah. And he was thrilled. He was like, he told his fans

I'm living the dream. I'm getting paid to fight and fuck. What more could I ask for? So you living the dream. Yeah. I'm getting paid to fight and fuck. What more could I ask for? So you get the idea. He's fucking for both business and pleasure. But he was also fighting for business and pleasure. And it turns out you really can't do that last one. So we're jumping around the timeline a bit.

But in the fall of 2007, he got into a fight in a parking lot. And he punched a guy in the face and choked him until he was unconscious. But, you know, John reflected on it and afterward he felt like super bad about it. He did an interview where he talked about that fight. Here's how it went. Oh boy. Interviewer, to have that image out there that a fighter is choking people out is scary okay so i need you to picture john he's in a swivel chair and he's just kind of swinging he's kind of smirking he goes it's nice to choke them out because if you wanted to you could smash their whole body apart so a choke is nice and quiet nice and peaceful you take a little nap you wake up no harm done

on the other hand, you smash him to pieces, they're really hurt. So, that's the nice way out. Oh, yikes. Yeah, so clearly John learned a lot from that experience and he would never do it again. Oops, except he did. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't

think that's what we're here to talk about today. End of story. This time he rendered a bouncer unconscious. But I think when you hear John's side of the story, you'll see that it was kind of the bouncer's fault. I don't think I will. Ready for another quote? Okay, here's what he said in an interview. There's always a little bit of tension between us. He's a big dude, 6'4", 320 pounds, big giant dude. And that night in particular, we had words. It kept escalating, you know. He was going to beat me up.

I was going to beat him up. Talking shit, talking shit, talking shit, talking shit. Eventually it got to the point where I'm like, what's up? And he's like, what's up? Do something, do something. He's telling me to do something. Egging me on, egging me on, egging me on. Kind of challenging me, wanting to fight. And I'm like, dude, you don't want to fight me. And he's like, dude, come's telling me to do something. Egging me on. Egging me on. Egging me on.

Kind of challenging me. Wanting to fight. And I'm like, dude, you don't want to fight me. And he's like, dude, come on. Let's do it. We did it. He lost. It was only one punch. I didn't, you know, I didn't terrorize him.

One punch. He lost. I won. I got in trouble. Had I lost, I would have gone home, went to sleep, woke up and said, not going to do that again. Some people are a little bit different. They like to pick fights.

Then they like to call the cops, you know. Holy shit. For that assault, John got three years of probation and 30 days of community service. And since he wasn't in jail, John got back into MMA and focused on his career. He fought all over the place in sort of low-level shows so that he could build up a massive winning streak and hopefully return to the UFC. So he fought and fought and fought, and he grabbed hold of dudes, and he rolled around with them and held them real tight, and he won and won and won and won until he lost. And it was devastating. I bet he handled it real well.

Oh, yeah, real level-headed guy. It looked like he might never make it back to the UFC, both because he wasn't good enough and because he was a fucking mess. Because, you're not going to believe this, oopsies, John got into another fight. Oh, okay. With a bouncer.

Oh. This time there was security footage of the whole thing, and John had to finally face a more serious consequence than just probation. He was sentenced to one year in the San Diego County Jail. But for some reason, he got a two-month delay before his sentence started, so in those two months he found the Lurd. Just kidding, he found alcohol Lurd. Just kidding. He found alcohol and drank it.

And he got into another fight for business this time, not pleasure. And afterward, he went to jail and he ended up staying a while because the judge found out about some other street fights he'd gotten into. And so even though his original sentence was for a year, he stayed for two. And the whole time, John was very active on Twitter and he blogged about his life in jail. What? Yeah. How? I'm not really sure. What? He spent most of his time in solitary confinement. And you know, I think a lesser man would have wasted that time. But you know, the thing about solitary confinement is it gives you lots of time to think.

Time to think about clothing. Specifically, T-shirts and tank tops. Do you start a clothing company? And also what it means to be a man. Not some wimpy, feminine, beta cuck. No, I'm talking about alpha males! Alpha males!

I'm rock hard just thinking about them! Oh no. And that is how John's... I would argue that if you're rock hard thinking about alpha males... What? You might be gay. You could be a gay alpha male well no probably not I bet you'd get kicked out of the club can you tell I don't know much about alpha man so that's how John's clothing

line was born he called it no Lord alpha male shit alpha Yes. Yes, that was the name of his clothing line. Alpha male shit. I mean, self burn. Yeah. He launched it with a friend, and incredibly, it's still around today, though no longer affiliated with John. Can't imagine why. But, oh, they made very cool shirts, Brandy. What'd they say?

They had shirts with pithy clever little phrases like PC is some un-American borderline commie bullshit. That's too much for a t-shirt. That's too much on a t-shirt. We're not even gonna address the message. That's too much.

Nobody's taking the time to soak that whole message in, buddy. It's borderline. You can't go all in on the commie bullshit. It's just borderline. Yeah, they're really using some kind of passive. Excuse me. It seems to me that PC. They also sold motivational tank tops.

Okay. That read, don't be a pussy. Personally, I just hear that and I'm like, oh, okay, I won't. Also, for the guys who just wanted to keep it simple, there was a shirt that read, Alpha Male. Oh. There was another. Did I assert my dominance? There was another shirt that read, I do Alpha Male shit.

I don't think I have to tell you that this was all caps. Yeah. So it was all pretty great stuff. It was the kind of apparel that screams, I'm totally secure with who I am. And you might be thinking, gosh, that sounds like it's probably toxic and sexist. And you're wrong, though, because of your tiny lady brain. And John knew that you might feel that way. So on the clothing brand's website, they wrote up a little something

about the importance of women. Are you ready to hear it? Oh, I am. Strong women are important to the world, and they always have been, even back when they had no rights. Women are the gatekeepers of... Sorry.

Are those quotes in there? Yeah, quotes around rights. Oh, no. Women are the gatekeepers to the future. They select what genes will be spread to the next generation. And that is much more important than any bullshit vote they may cast on any bullshit ballot. A strong, smart woman is essential to raising strong, smart children. smart woman is essential to raising strong, smart children, and every real man needs a strong,

smart woman to come home to. In the movie 300, the Persian tells Leonidas, I know we're taking a hard left turn. What makes this woman think she can speak among us men? Leonidas' queen responds, because only Spartan women give birth to real men. And now nothing more needs to be said about this. What? You feeling special? No. Hey, ladies, you feeling special? Don't worry about voting because you can select the genes that go down to the next generation. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I hand-picked London's genes. Mm-hmm. Brandy, you seem intrigued. You seem like you'd like to know John on a deeper level. I would not. Well, you're in luck. Because around this time, he began vlogging. And it was great because those vlogs really proved what a nice, normal guy he was. Did they?

Sure did. For example, in one video, he's in his car driving and he's got a hoodie on with the hood up. And here's what he says. Oh, my fucking God. I'm so fucking pissed right now. Dude! I've been craving a fucking Slurpee since last night. I want a Slurpee.

I want a fucking Slurpee. And I see 7-Eleven. So I go and I want to get a Slurpee. And I fill up my fucking cup. And the fucking bitch who fucking works there fucking tells me that i need to take off my fucking hoodie off my head i was like what huh and the fucking bitch tells me that i have to take my fucking hoodie off or she's not gonna fucking serve me a fucking slurpee you fucking

serious oh my god i'm so i freaked the fuck out and then the fucking other asshole that works there says he's gonna call the cops i wanna i wanna i'm so i wanna smash the fucking motherfucker so i fucking i dump my fucking slurpee on the floor so those fucking dumb motherfuckers could clean it up. Why? Oh. Oh. Oh my god. I'm so fucking mad. Why can't I just get a fucking Slurpee? You can. You just gotta take your hood down. Why the motherfuckers

gotta harass me and tell me to take off my fucking hoodie? That's a store policy, sir. I'm gonna go to this other 7-Eleven right now, and I'm going to get a fucking Slurpee right now. These motherfuckers better not tell me to take off my fucking hoodie. They better not give me a hard fucking time.

Motherfuckers. Oh, my God, these motherfuckers. Oh, my God. So he gets out of the car. I'm getting so sweaty. It's tough being filled with rage. Being an alpha male. Clearly I wasn't cut out for it.

Cut out here for an alpha male. So, you know, he gets out of the car. You know, so few people take on the plight of the alpha male. It's too difficult. Yeah. Most persecuted person there is. Video turns off. Then the video comes back on and our hero appears on screen fucking a look what i got a fucking slurpee look at my hood still on

yeah you know what man i'm fucking real fucking glad this fucking dick over here sold me a slurpee because if that motherfucker wouldn't have given me a Slurpee, then I would have had to fucking boycott 7-Eleven and all Slurpees. And I don't like to boycott Slurpees. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Oh my gosh!

Relatable. I don't like to boycott Slurpees either. Nor do I. Don't put me in that position. I will fucking drop my fucking slurpee on the floor. That's right. This will shock you, but he also vlogged about his steroid use, which is weird because he seems so stable. Yeah. It's the motherfuckers at 7-Eleven that had the problem, Brandi, obviously.

Obviously. Oh, and also turns out the motherfuckers at 24 Hour Fitness, they also had a problem. What'd they do? Okay. Oof. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Brandi, I feel another rant coming on.

Oh, no. Here we go. John gets in the car, and here's what he says. Hey, yo, fuck 24 Hour Fitness, man. Oh, my God, I'm about to freak the freaking fuck out i just left my fucking workout so i'm working out i'm doing fucking uh weighted pull-ups at 24-hour fitness and i'm using you know chalk because i go heavy i'm doing like 105 pounds and it fucking slips so you need chalk and uh this fucking this fucking old fucking skinny white fucking little

bitch this little man i'm talking mying my hands and I fucking walk up. I walk up to the bar and he goes, hey, chalk's not allowed in this gym. And I was like, what? He was like, I was like, I don't give a fuck. And he's like, oh, you don't give a fuck? And I said, I don't give a fuck. And I said, get the fuck out of my way, motherfucker. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, I've been here for six years. And I said, I don't give a fuck. Get the fuck out of my way. Get the fuck out of my way, motherfucker. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, I've been here for six years.

And I said, I don't give a fuck. Get the fuck out of my way. Get the fuck out of my way. I said, motherfucker, you better get the fuck out of my fucking way. If I wasn't on probation, I would have smashed his face. Oh, my God. If it was the old days, oh, my God, dude. But then I'm wearing my I do alpha male shit fucking shirt, my fucking tank top.

And he's like, oh, also also your shirt has profanity I said motherfucker shit is not a fucking cuss word I was like you're taking it too far motherfucker you're taking it too fucking far I'm gonna freak the fuck out get the fuck out of my face I'm gonna finish my fucking workout and then I'm gonna cancel my membership I'm gonna snap I'm gonna snap i go downstairs to check out and i tell the chick hey where's your bitch ass little manager and she looked at me all crazy and then i went into the manager's office and he's like oh i'm really sorry i'm like i don't give a fuck i'm like get out of my fucking face right now i don't't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Oh, my fucking God, dude. I'm fucking pissed. Oh, hey.

Go to alphamaleshit.com. Buy some fucking shit, because why not? Because it's good shit. Because, I don't know, I want to make money because I'm broke. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, God. These videos are a wild ride.

For his first six months after getting out of jail, this was how he spent his life. He vlogged. He got on MySpace. He was always posting super inspirational stuff that you find in a Google search like, do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Think on that for a while. Oh, what's that?

You want an easier life? Hmm. Thought so. Jesus. And in April of 2013, he got an opportunity to appear in a photo spread for Hustler magazine. And John knew exactly who he wanted to model next to. Porn star Christy Mack. He'd never met Christy, but he was a big fan.

So let's talk about Christy. Yeah, what'd she look like? Can I look her up? Yeah. Christy Mack. Is that with a K? Actually, no, don't look her up yet. Why? I can't see what she looks like? Well, because you're going to see some other pictures and I don't want you to see them yet. I will describe

her to you. Okay. Christy's legal name is Christine McInday and she grew up in a super small town in Indiana. She was a cheerleader and she made great grades and she was very introverted and loved animals. And when she was very introverted and loved animals. And when she was just 18, she married her high school sweetheart.

But, you know, their life together was a little dull. And so when someone approached her about nude modeling, she was like, yes. And she said bye bye to the husband. She moved to Miami and got into nude modeling. Christy was super successful, not only because she's like super beautiful, but also because she has a very unique look. She's covered in tattoos. She had a long black mohawk. Okay.

I was going to say, is half her head shaved? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So she's got the shaved head going on. She's five foot one. I mean, really tiny, very curvy in all the right places. You know what I mean.

Yes. And when she started doing porn, her career really took off, thanks in part to her unique look and also kind of a unique story. She has this, like, badass look, but she was also straight edge, so she never drank, never did drugs. So she went to this photo shoot and met John, and she was a little standoffish because he was clearly into her and she liked her independence she wasn't looking for a boyfriend also she had pneumonia so she was not feeling great yeah and john was like oh let me come to your hotel room i'll take care of you and she knew the deal and was very upfront with him. She's like, no, I don't want to have sex with you. And he's like, oh, that's cool.

Let's just hang out. And so they did. They ate pizza and talked and he took care of her and Christy was amazed at the connection she had with John. And because he was so charming, she fell in love with him very quickly. So a few weeks after that photo shoot, they began dating. She was 22.

He was 32. Okay. Yeah, nice and young. She'd never really experienced someone loving her that way. You know, just so emphatically, I guess. And things were great. First of all, they looked perfect together. They were this incredibly hot, tattooed couple.

Actually, let me, I will pull up a picture of her and show it to you. How about that? I think I know who she is. And not from porn, but because I had this co-worker who had, like, this big, beefy bodybuilder boyfriend. And like, he wanted her to look like this particular porn star. And so she shaved part of her head. So I am sure that it is this woman.

Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Gosh, I would be kind of offended if Norm was like, Hey, I see how you look now.

I'd like to make some modifications. So they looked perfect together. They were this incredibly hot, tattooed couple, and they were both in these very public career fields. And so they got endorsement deals, and Bravo reached out about doing a reality show. They looked like a great match. But there were some red flags. For example, John didn't approve of Christy's career, even though he knew what she did for a living when they met, and he'd also been in porn. Yeah, okay. But Christy tried to accommodate him, so she stopped

doing videos and limited herself to nude photos and just appearances. It didn't totally make John happy, but it was a pretty big accommodation for someone who made her living in porn. Absolutely. And she was willing to make it because they were so in love. At one point, he got her last name tattooed on his neck, and she got a red tattoo on her shoulder that looked like a stamp that read property of war machine I know I hate it well Christy did notice that John was quick to anger but he was always good about removing himself from a situation before it got out of hand and at some point after she'd fallen in love he told Christy about his past he'd done some

stupid shit he'd gotten into fights. But it was okay. She understood him and he understood her. But about three months into their relationship, John stopped removing himself from the situation when he got angry. He'd slap her. Sometimes he'd choke her to the point that she'd lose consciousness. It was really scary. But Christy was in love with him. And the next few days after the violence, they'd have the best days of their entire relationship.

John would take time off from training and they'd watch all of Christy's favorite movies and he'd go to the store and get her snacks and they had takeout. And it was bliss. He was sorry. It would never happen again. Until it did. Christy describes their relationship as volleying between basically opposite ends of the spectrum. It was at times very violent.

And it was at times extremely loving. So it's obviously the cycle of violence. They're on the merry-go-round. And as the relationship progressed, so did the violence. Christy had always prided herself on being strong and independent. It was embarrassing that this was happening to her. She tried to hide the effects of the violence, but it was impossible. She and her mom, Erin, lived together during part of the time when Christy and John dated.

And Erin noticed the changes in her daughter. Suddenly, Christy was isolated. She didn't want to do anything. She was super quiet. One day, Erin heard Christy and John fighting. So Erin came out. I think she was in her room. She came out.

She's like, what's going on? And Christy was just hysterical. She had a think she was in her room. She came out. She's like, what's going on? And Christy was just hysterical. She had a big red mark around her neck. And she said that John had grabbed her by the neck and dragged her up the stairs. So Aaron's like, well, I'm going to call the police. And John, of course, flipped out. He started grabbing all his stuff, throwing clothes into a laundry bag.

And the whole time he yelled at Aaron on repeat, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. Oh, my God. So I don't believe Aaron called the police. She must have been talked out of it. But from that point on, Aaron hated John. And John hated Aaron because she threatened to call the police on him. And if she called the police on him, he would go back to jail.

Because she'd threatened to call the police on him, and if she called the police on him, he would go back to jail. So from that point on, when John was violent with Christy, he took away her cell phone. He didn't want her calling her mom. For Christy, the idea of calling the cops on John was complicated for a lot of reasons. One of them, she loved him. You don't want to call the cops on the person you love. But also because she was terrified. He'd told her in no uncertain terms that if he ever went to prison for what he did,

he'd send his Navy SEAL friends or his Hell's Angels friends to attack her and her family. In one particularly scary fight, they were in the car together and John was driving down the road and he got angry about some dumb shit. And Christy was wearing a set of gold fangs that had been designed for her. John ripped her wig off and Christy took out the fangs because she knew from experience that he was going to hit her. And she didn't want to chip her teeth or swallow one of the fangs. But as they drove, Christy realized that maybe this time she could escape. He might not get a chance to hit her. So she slowly unbuckled her seatbelt and waited for them to hit a stoplight.

When they did, she flung open the door to escape, but John grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the dashboard. Oh, my God. Her tooth got chipped, and he brought her face to meet his and he bit her chin and hit her multiple times. He turned down a side road and he told her, now I have to kill you because people saw you try to escape. Now I have to take you to the desert and kill you. She was bent over crying and he punched her in the back. He took her to a gym parking lot. And he calmed down. He told her he'd clean her up.

Everything would be fine. He drove her back to her house and he went into the house first and told Christy's mom that Christy was just getting some stuff out of the car. She'd be in in a few minutes. And when Aaron went back to her room, he told Christy to come inside and get cleaned up. Christy later told her mom that she fell down the stairs. Oh, my gosh.

She told her friends that she'd gotten headbutted by a dog. She had two pit bulls and five snakes, and she either said two parrots or two ferrets. I couldn't quite hear the audio. I mean, you know, she's trying to come up with something semi-realistic. So the violence was getting worse. But John didn't just beat Christy. He also raped her multiple times. She'd tell him to stop, but eventually she'd just give up.

There was no sense in fighting back. Their relationship lasted about a year and a half, but it was on again off again. Like in basically all domestic violence cases, it's never a clean break. It takes multiple attempts to leave, and the abuser is often able to reel the survivor back in. But in May of

2014, John dumped Christy. But he still had a key to her house. Oh, shit. Three months later, it was the middle of the night on august 8th 2014 christy and 35 year old cory thomas were in her bed asleep their relationship is a little unclear it seems they did date for a while but maybe at this point they were just friends they were going to a tattoo convention the next morning. I don't personally think it matters what their relationship was.

No, it doesn't. But anyway, so they're in the same bed together. And all of a sudden at like 2 a.m., the light flipped on in the bedroom. John was standing there enraged. He said, what the fuck? And he began beating the shit out of Corey. John just wailed on him. And Corey tried to cover his face.

But, you know, John's a professional fighter. And he kept hitting him. So Corey grabbed him by the back of his head to try to, like, flatten him out so he couldn't punch as easily. But when he did that, John bit his face. Oh, my gosh. So Corey let go. And John began hitting him all over again. Meanwhile, Christy grabbed her phone and dialed 911. She couldn't talk, but the audio from the call is horrible. It's just a ton of screaming, and you can hear Christy yelling,

John, please don't kill him. She hid the phone under some towels so John wouldn't see it. Oh my gosh. I went on a bit of a... No, I'm going to keep telling the story. Okay. All right. So she's made this 911 call.

Corey tried to push John away and John bit his arm. Finally, Corey used his feet to push against John and get him away. Corey leapt off the bed, but John ran over and put him in a chokehold. Corey began to see stars. He started to lose consciousness. Physically, he knew he was done.

Corey asked him, what do you want from me? Do you want to kill me or do you want me to walk out of here? John didn't respond. Instead, he just bragged about his friends. His friends were Hell's Angels. His friends were Navy SEALs. How do I know if I let you go you're not going to be a snitch? And Corey said, I'm no snitch.

So that's that. If we make an agreement to handle this and this is over, then it is. And John agreed. He did? Mm-hmm. This whole time, while he was beating up Corey, he'd been telling Christy, tell him you're in love with me. Tell him, you know, that you, you know, all this.

And of course she's, yeah, she's saying whatever she needs to say. Whatever he wants her to say, yeah. So Corey got up. He gathered his things. He and John nodded at each other, and Corey walked out the door. The attack had lasted 10 minutes. Corey had a dislocated shoulder, a broken nose, and bite marks on his face and arm. But he'd gotten off easy.

He left Christy's home, leaving her alone with John, and he kept his promise to John. He did not call the police. So for the next two hours, John brutally attacked her. He sexually assaulted her. He beat her. He used one of her kitchen knives on her. He pushed it into her ear. He pushed it into her hand. He sawed off her hair. He cut her wigs. He sliced

her head. At some point, she was in the shower. She still doesn't remember how she got there, just that she came to consciousness in the shower naked. Her shorts were in the shower naked her shorts were in the shower with her and her mouth was filling with blood while she was in there john went through her phone and he screamed it through her and he screamed at her through the shower door about stuff he was seeing on her phone that he didn't like she can't really remember what it was she can just remember the taste of blood mm-hmm then she was on her hands and knees outside the shower and he kicked her in the ribs. He kicked her so hard that she fell over and began convulsing. She told him she needed help. She was certain she was going to die. Yeah. But he told her that nobody could help her. And he put a dog blanket over her.

Oh, my gosh. By this point, he was cutting her again. And he was so angry and cutting with such force that the handle broke off the knife. Oh, my gosh. But he kept using it. He grabbed it by the blade and kept swinging. He looked at her beaten and bloodied and said, Now I have to kill you. I've gone too far. you can't be seen like this everyone's gonna know so he went to the kitchen and she could hear him rummaging around presumably for another knife and even though she was bloody and badly beaten she knew she had to move so she went out to her balcony and jumped off okay i i'm having trouble picturing this because some sources say she jumped off the balcony other sources say it was the first floor i at any rate she she escaped and she hobbled down the street trailing blood. She hopped a fence.

Keep in mind, she's naked. She had the dog blanket and that was it. A neighbor spotted her naked and bloody, completely unrecognizable, and called the police. She was rushed to the hospital. So I was going to tell you about that 911 call she made. I was going to tell you about that 911 call she made. Apparently, the call cut out. And so when they ran a trace on the call, the trace was off a little bit. It took them to a house about 100 feet away from Christie's.

And so the police went to that residence and everything was fine. Yeah. Someone else said that they heard stuff going on and called the police and they were brushed off. Oh my gosh. Anyway at some point John discovered that Christy was missing and even though she left a trail of blood everywhere she went, he either couldn't find her or he decided to run. Early that morning, he sent some texts to Christy's mom, Erin. It was like 6.44 a.m. He texted her, you awake yet? There was a huge fight when I came in. The guy she was in bed with came at me. Oh, my gosh. So, you know, Erin woke up to these texts, and she was so stunned that she didn't even bother responding by text. She just called him. And he said, we got into a fight, and I had to beat her up.

And Erin just hung up. I had to beat her up? Nothing is his fault. Yeah, of course not. Ever. Nothing is ever his fault. Yeah. Erin told her boyfriend, you got to get up now.

He's done something to Christy. Move your car so I can get across town. She drove to Christy's place, and on the way there, a realization dawned on her. She's dead. Erin arrived on the scene, and police were everywhere. She ran over. Officers told her to stop, but she kept going until she was in the home face to face with a police officer. And she said, is my daughter dead?

And the police officer looked at her kind of stunned and she said, no, she's at Sunrise Hospital. So from there, Erin rushed to the hospital and got to Christy's room and saw her daughter in an unrecognizable state. Christy asked her mom not to cry. So Erin squatted down underneath the hospital bed so she wouldn't upset Christy and she held her hand and cried. Christy had 18 broken bones in her face, 12 missing teeth, three rib fractures, and a ruptured liver. Oh, my gosh. She had been beaten so badly that she couldn't walk for a week. And while she tried to recover, John went on the run.

And rumors started swirling. Rumors like she wasn't really hurt. Or, you know, she had initiated the violence. You know how that is. Also, you know, she was a porn star. So how could she be a victim? Oh, no, there's plenty more where that came from. If you're a porn star, you can't be the victim of anything. Not true. Nope. I've got some defense attorneys that I need you to talk to.

So Christy made a decision. She decided to show the world what John had done to her. She tweeted four photos of her horrific injuries and alongside those photos, she told her story. Here's what she said.

This is kind of long, but I think it's really good, and I love that it's just in her voice, so I'm going to read the whole thing. I mean, I read that whole Slurpee thing, so obviously we can sit for this. That's right. All right. Motherfucker. No, I'm just kidding. Here we go. At about 2 a.m. Friday morning, John Copenhaver arrived unannounced to my home in Las Vegas, Nevada.

After he broke up with me in May, he moved out of my house and back to San Diego. When he arrived, he found myself and one other fully clothed and unarmed in the house. Without a single word spoken, he began beating my friend. Once he was finished, he sent my friend away and turned his attention to me. He made me undress and shower in front of him, then dragged me out and beat my face. I have no recollection of how many times I was hit. I just know my injuries that resulted from my beating. My injuries include 18 broken bones around my eyes, my nose is broken in two places, I am missing teeth and several more are broken. I am unable to chew or see out of my left eye. My speech is slurred from my swelling and lack of teeth.

I have a fractured rib and severely ruptured liver from a kick to my side. My leg is so badly injured that I have not been able to walk on my own. I also sustained several lesions from a kick to my side. My leg is so badly injured that I have not been able to walk on my own. I also sustained several lesions from a knife he got from my kitchen. He pushed the knife into me in some areas such as my hand, ear, and head. He also sawed off much of my hair with this dull knife. After some time, the knife broke off the handle and he continued to threaten me with the blade. I believed I was going to die. He has beaten me many times before, but never this badly. He took my phone and canceled all of my plans for the following week to make sure that no one would worry about my whereabouts. He told me he was going to rape me, but was disappointed in himself when he couldn't get hard.

After another hit or two, he left me on the floor bleeding and shaking, holding my side from the pain of my rib. He left the room and went into the kitchen where I could hear him ruffling through my drawers. Assuming he was finding a sharper, more stable knife to end my life, I ran out my back door, shutting it behind me so the dogs didn't run inside to go tip him off. I hopped the fence to the golf course behind my house and ran to a neighboring house. Naked and afraid he would catch me, I kept running through the neighborhood, knocking on doors. Finally, one answered, and I was brought to the hospital and treated for my injuries. I would like to thank

everyone for their support through this rough time. I am healing fast and well and I appreciate all the prayers and visits I have received over the past few days. After many months of fear and pressure to keep this man happy, although I fear for my life, I feel that I can no longer put myself in this situation. The cheating by him nearly every day and almost weekly abuse is now more than I can stand. There is a $10,000 reward for Oh, my gosh. Okay. Do you want to see the photos?

Yes. Okay. Here are the photos she the photos? Yes. Okay. Here are the photos she posted. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Can you describe them? Yeah. I mean, her face is so swollen, her eyes won't open.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and she has a giant bruise on her leg. Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. She has a giant bruise on her leg. Oh, my gosh. I think it's really sad that she had to post pictures of herself and tell her entire story for people to believe her. But the tweets did make a huge impact.

And so did her story. And they really impacted John. Because that dum-dum was hiding from the police. But he couldn't help himself. He responded? He had to defend himself on Twitter. Oh my God. He wrote a series of woe-is-me tweets,

trying to say that he'd gone over to Christy's place that night with an engagement ring. He wanted to propose to her, and he'd found another man in her bed. We weren't fucking together. Oh, no, no, no. You're misunderstanding this whole thing. It was a crime of passion, Brandy, and she cheated on him. No. After he dumped her.

And that's why this happened. Okay. I'm going to read one of these tweets to you. Oh, no. Okay. I'm going to read one of these tweets to you. Oh, no. Okay. I only wish that man hadn't been there and that Christy and I would be happily engaged. I don't know why I'm so cursed. One day the truth will come out. Fuck off!

Yeah. Yep. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so now tell us the part where, like, Twitter, like, attaches, like, a geo-tracking thing to your tweets so they were able to, you know, zoom right in and take him into custody. That's what I was expecting to happen, too. Yeah, is that what happens? Because, you know, cell phones go ping, cell towers go pong.

We know your location all the day long. Yeah. That is not how he was caught. It's not? Okay, if you had to guess. Well, that's what I would guess. I know, but taking into account what you now know of John, I feel like I've painted a real picture of him. How do you think a guy like this gets caught?

I don't know. Was he at the fucking gym or something? Well, that's actually not bad. No, here's what happened. He was staying at the Extended Stay America Hotel in Simi Valley. Is that what you called it? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, right.

And this woman, Mary Casametto, saw him pushing a woman and grabbing her by the hair. Oh, of course. Of course. He was literally getting violent with another woman. And Mary was like, whoa. And so she called the police. She had no idea who John was. She just knew that he was a big, angry, scary dude and he was getting violent.

So police dropped by and they arrested him. They had to tase him because, you know, he's a mess. And they went into his hotel room and discovered a small quantity of cash and pizza. No Slurpees. Maybe he was boycotting them. Yeah. We don't know. 7-Eleven boycott. He didn't want

to. The motherfuckers made him. Yeah. So John was taken into custody and he was charged with attempted murder, kidnapping, sexual assault, you know, just the works. Yeah. And on October 14th, 2014, he was supposed to appear in court for a discussion of a possible plea deal. His lawyer wanted two to five years. Two to five years? Yeah.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Are we not classifying this as attempted murder? No. Yeah. It's two counts of attempted murder.

Two to five years? Yeah. Because here's the thing, Brandy. She made him do it. Well, yeah. And, like, she was really in this for the money. Because after she made that social media post, people made him do it. Well, yeah. And like she was really in this for the money because after she made that social media post, people made donations to her, which she then donated to charity. But, you know, it was all it was a kind of a celebrity thing.

And so he was just getting charged like this. And the D.A. was after him because he's a celebrity and, you know, he's just kind of unlucky. And, you know, he's a felon and he has tattoos. And that's why he's being treated this badly. No, he's being treated this way because he attempted to murder someone. Two to five years, not going to cut it. No deal. Yeah.

So that's what Chris, I mean, Brandi just slammed her laptop shut. That was like the thing on the Deal or No Deal is what I was doing. Oh, see, I don't watch game shows. Well, Deal or No Deal hasn't been on for 50 million years. I'm sorry. I'm not into old-timey game shows either. I mean, it's like from the early 2000s. You know, Howie Mandel.

You know, if you want the deal, you hit the button. If not, you close the cover. You never seen this? No. I'm seeing this for the first time right now with you. What? Meghan Markle. Yeah, I know.

Was a suitcase girl. Yeah, I know. That's the only thing I know about that show. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm so disappointed. So, you know, he wants two to five years totally justified. No. No, totally justified.

It's all been blown out of proportion. I want this guy to go to prison for the rest of his life. Yeah, that'd be ideal. He's clearly a repeat offender. Yeah. So, you know, Christy told them, I can't remember what she told the prosecutors. I think she said, you know, I don't feel safe at all. No.

I feel like he's going to come kill me. Yes. And I think she said, like, minimum 15 to 25. That's what she'd be comfortable with. So, you know, they're going to. I'm not comfortable with that. I agree. So he's supposed to appear in court for this plea deal.

But that didn't happen because that day, John Copenhaver attempted to die by suicide. He was totally fine. Don't worry. But he did write one hell of a note. And I'd like to read portions of it to you now. To Christie, he wrote, I loved you more than freedom. I forgive you.

Oh, fuck yourself. Are you kidding me? I forgive you. Please forgive me. Yeah, because you know, we're pretty much both to blame. Yeah, yeah. There's been wrong on both sides. Yeah. There's more to blame. It, yeah. There's been wrong on both sides. Yeah.

Who's more to blame? It's not really important. Okay. He also forgave her for cheating. You weren't together. Right. My dude. That's the thing, is you kind of have to be a couple for there to be cheating.

Yeah. You know, Channing Tatum has been cheating on me for years. He wrote... First with that bitch, and then Jessie J. It's exhausting.

I suppose I've been cheating on him too, though, with Norman. He wrote, they want to charge me with battery and domestic violence? Fine, do it. But don't railroad me with BS fantasy charges like rape, attempted murder, kidnapping, and burglary. It's making it impossible for justice. No, that is fucking justice. Brandi, he's being railroaded.

No, he's not. With BS fantasy charges. He ended the letter with something that I think we can all agree on. Society has killed men. I was never meant to live in this era anyway. Follow your dreams and think for yourselves. Oh, yeah. Keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for the stone.

Am I right? As a men's rights activist, I am inspired. Oh, my God. Yeah, it really is too bad that John wasn't born in a time when men could just relentlessly beat the gatekeepers of the gene pool. Am I right? Oh, my gosh. I bet you'd like to get to the trial. I would.

Well, we can't have nice things, Brandy, so buckle up. John was offered multiple plea deals, including 16 years to life, but he rejected all of them. He wanted to have a jury trial and he wanted to behave like a jackass. And spoiler alert, both his wishes came true. Great. During a hearing. Going to trial is the worst idea ever for him. Why?

He's not going to come off as likable to the jury. I feel like this is on his part. I don't know. I feel like it's a real gamble. It is a real gamble. But maybe he's thinking Christy is a porn star. She's covered in tattoos.

Will, yeah, just tear down her reputation. Mm-hmm. Great. Wonderful strategy. And also, I think more than anything, he buys his own bullshit. Oh, absolutely. He totally buys his own bullshit. And again, I think you can't discount that, like, he's a good-looking man.

I know people are going to hate that I'm saying that. But, like, I'm not giving the dude a compliment. I'm just saying he's a good looking guy. He can be charming when he needs to be. Can I look him up? Yeah, sure. While you do, I'm going to get more water. What's his last name? Just look up War Machine. Oh, yeah. Good call.

Thank you. Okay, so you looked him up. What do you think? Yeah, he's a good looking dude. He's not as big as I thought he would be. Suck on that. Mm-hmm. And she's way hotter than he is. Oh, for sure.

Exponentially hotter than he is. Absolutely. I mean, no contest. Yes. Also, if we could have a who's the better person contest. Yeah. Yeah. During a hearing about the sexual assault charges, John blew a kiss to the better person contest. Yeah. Yeah. During a hearing about the sexual assault charges,

John blew a kiss to the prosecutor. Oh, my. Mm-hmm. Jesus. So he blows this kiss to the prosecutor, and the prosecutor said, Judge, for the record, Mr. Copenhaver just blew a kiss at me.

And John's defense attorney was like, well, I didn't see that happen. Oh, my gosh. And the judge turned to John and was like, don't make any gestures of any kind toward counsel. Don't go there. And also, I didn't write this part down, but the prosecutor turned to the defense and was like, look, I'm not going to make that up. I really resent that. Look, I'm not going to make that up. I really resent that.

By the way, at that hearing, John's defense attorney, Brandon Soa, argued that Christie's work in adult film suggested that she likes rough sex and disqualifies her from accusing John of rape. Rape is not sex. No. No. Brandon. Yeah. Come on, man. No. No. Brandon. Yeah. Come on, man. How?

Yeah, no. He said that Christie's career led her to, quote, desire the preference, the acceptability towards a particular form of sex activities that were out of the norm. But the prosecution was like, yeah, nice try. There are rape shield laws, which mean you can't use the victim's sexual history against them. Shut up forever. Yeah. And the judge did ask for a written motion about John and Christy's sexual past, but said she didn't see the connection between Christy's work in porn and how it could, quote, show her consent to the acts with the defendant that he's charged with. I don't even know why the judge needed. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but okay, anyway. At another pretrial hearing, when Christy was recounting the times he'd sexually assaulted her, John laughed at her. And the prosecutor asked the judge to note in the court record that he had laughed. And John's defense attorney was like, Objection, Judge. He wasn't laughing.

And the judge was like, I watched him laugh. Yeah. It is noted. Oh, my gosh. So this trial got delayed for like two years. But it finally kicked off in February of 2017 in front of a jury of six men and six women. In her opening statement, Prosecutor Jacqueline Blurth outlined the attack.

She talked about how John told Christy during the attack, that is my pussy and I'm going to take it back now. And then he got super pissed when he couldn't get an erection, which shocks me because being unable to get an erection doesn't seem like alpha male shit. Am I right? I mean, if we know anything about John, it's that he does alpha male shit. Yeah. Like yell at 7-Eleven employees and throw Slurpees on the ground. That's right.

The defense argued that Christy Mack had a rape fantasy and that she'd invited John to surprise her. The defense also argued that this was sort of a shared problem. John and Christy had been codependent, and their relationship revolved around constant attention and sex and Internet personas that exploded in violence. Okay. So they're right that it wasn't a clean break. They kept in communication with each other,

and some of that communication was sexual. That's super common. That it wasn't a clean break. They kept in communication with each other. And some of that communication was sexual. That's super common. Yeah, that's how it goes. And also, that's not a crime. No. No. Yeah, there's only one victim here.

Yeah. Well, two. Yes, I'm sorry. Yes. Corey. Yeah. Who doesn't know how to call 911. Yes.

What do you make of that? I think he was doing what he thought he had to do to save his own ass, save his own life. I think it's super shitty that he just bailed out on his friend and didn't call the police. But I think he probably thought he had to do that to keep himself safe. You're a nice person, Brandi. All right. The prosecution called Corey Thomas and he told the court what had happened the night of the attack. Corey talked about being beaten up.

There were some kind of funny moments in his testimony, I thought, because he was being beaten by a professional. Yeah. And the prosecutor asked. He's like talking about, you know, yeah, he's punching me. And the prosecutor goes, did he land any of those hits? And Corey was like, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

All of them. All of them landed. And later the prosecutor asked, did you land any punches on him? And Corey laughed. He goes, no. And the prosecutor goes, and why not? And Corey goes, because I was busy getting punched. And the prosecutor goes, okay. Okay.

When Corey got to the part about leaving Christy behind, Corey said that the idea that John would attack Christy never crossed his mind. He said, hitting a girl is not something that I would ever be able to understand doing. So I thought, two guys fought, that's the end of it. I'm spent. I'm sure he is too. That's his official position? Mm-hmm.

Okay, I don't like that. No, it's very cowardly. Yeah. He should have called the police. He was absolutely leaving her in a bad situation. Yep, 100%. Christy gave very emotional testimony all about their relationship. She talked about John's previous acts of violence, about sexual assaults. She talked about the shame she carried for being a survivor of domestic violence.

She said, I realize now that I shouldn't have been embarrassed, but at the time I definitely was. The prosecutor asked her, why did you continue to stay with him? And Christy said, I loved him. I would have done anything for him. I just wanted to be with him. Yeah. Then Christy told them about the night in question and the terror she felt. Under questioning from the defense, she admitted that she sent John a topless photo of herself the day he attacked her.

She texted him, for my sexy Mr. Machine. And he texted back, I needs that. And she texted, it's all yours. The day before the incident, John and Christy exchanged I love you texts because domestic violence relationships are complicated. Super complicated. It's not an invitation to come over unannounced

and beat the shit out of someone. Nope. Also under cross-examination, the defense asked Christy if it had been worth it to gain all those social media followers after she posted about the attack. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So when he asked that, she just burst into tears. Yeah. And she said, I would not want to almost die for a few followers no

how fucking dare you yeah erin mcinday christy's mom gave very powerful testimony i hate to pick a favorite but here we. So she shared her perspective on their relationship and everything she witnessed. And the whole time she stared daggers at John. I mean, just watching this, it's uncomfortable. Toward the end of her testimony, the prosecutor asked her, because of the incidents that you've spoken about, that you have seen the defendant physically violent, because you've seen your daughter's marks and you had concerns.

Do you regret now not stepping in and going to the police? So Aaron looks right at John and she says, no. She says, the incidents I saw, I really wish I would have shot you. That's my retrospective. I wish I would have shot him. I wish I would have shot you. That's my retrospective. I wish I would have shot him. I wish I would have shot you. Oh, my gosh. And the prosecutor goes, OK, thank you very much.

The prosecution also called doctors to testify about Christie's injuries and the first responders to talk about what they'd witnessed. to testify about Christie's injuries and the first responders to talk about what they'd witnessed. The defense argued that John's use of steroids had caused aggression and that had played a role in the attack on Christie and Corey. They called two witnesses to the stand who were like, yep, he took steroids, which, God, after watching those videos, I'm willing to be a witness too. Yes, he was definitely on steroids. Well, and Christie also said, you know, yes, he was definitely on steroids. Yeah.

In closing arguments, defense attorney Jay Lederman argued that John was a raging bull. He had brain injuries from fighting and he was using steroids and antidepressants that combined to cause mood swings and violence. This was a classic case of roid rage. He walked in on Christy in bed with another man. He said, when you add this to rage and sudden shocking events, you really have quite the explosive situation where someone loses their mind. He also claimed that what happened between John and Corey was self-defense. And mutual combat. Okay. and mutual combat okay you know how someone just shows up and uh

you have to defend yourself when you broke into the home you know how that is yeah oh my gosh but the prosecution was like we have no toxicology reports to determine that he was really on this combination of drugs. In her closing argument, Jacqueline Bluth told the jury she had the choice to leave, but he had the choice to stop. And only one of those is criminal. Yeah. The jury deliberated and they deadlocked on the two counts of attempted murder. The jury deliberated, and they deadlocked on the two counts of attempted murder.

They acquitted John on battery with intent to commit sexual assault, burglary with a weapon, and sexually motivated coercion, but found him guilty of everything else. He was sentenced to 36 years to life. He will be eligible for parole when he's 71. Wow. After the verdict came down, John took to Twitter. This was before he got his sentence. Oh, Lord. Prepare yourself. Well, that didn't go very well, now did it? Would you believe me, though, if I said that I have nothing but joy inside, even now, as I am sure to receive some type of life sentence? It's true. Oftentimes I have heard men in neighboring cells go to their cells and cry after receiving such news. But how can I? How can I cry tears of sorrow over the

circumstances responsible for saving my soul? These circumstances are what transformed me into a real man. How can I disrespect God by weeping over them? How much is a soul worth? Is a life sentence too high a price? Not at all. I gladly trade this false life in for the real one to come. I have been nothing but blessed by all of this. Now, if only I could somehow receive Christy's forgiveness.

And if only I could one day hear that she too had been saved. That would remove every last bit of tarnish from this tragedy. Everyone, I wish you could see Brandy's face. Gross. Oh, yeah. Thisy's face. Gross. Oh, yeah. This guy's disgusting. Yeah. Yeah.

Christy has become an advocate for domestic violence survivors, but she says she's still receiving death threats from John's fans. Oh, my gosh. Well, I mean, think like the most toxic fan base absolutely they're fans of alpha male shit alpha male shit yeah oh my gosh she still doesn't feel safe but she hopes that other domestic violence survivors will get some comfort from her sharing her story. Oh, my gosh. And that's the story of fucking War Machine. War Machine.

Lord Almighty. I think he's married now. What? I know. Somebody fucking married him? Yep. Hold on. Pen pal.

Yeah. Gross. I really struggle with how to feel about that i'm reading it i'm reading an article about it on tmz right now uh they can have a so this is a tmz article from when they got engaged which is july of 2018 it says that they could have a wedding ceremony in prison and share a hug. But that's it. No conjugal visits. Well, good. I guess that increases her chances of survival.

Yeah. Holy shit. Mm-hmm. Can you believe that story? No I had to cut a lot of his bullshit Because I mean Everything was her fault

Everything's everybody else's fault Yeah absolutely And he's basically an angel now that he's found the Lord Okay He just wishes other people could be great like him You know Did she get that tattoo removed? Oh yeah she got it covered up or removed now that he's found the Lord. Okay. He just wishes other people could be great like him, you know. Did she get that tattoo removed?

Oh, yeah. She got it covered up or removed. Yeah. She said that, and it's funny, I didn't even think about this, but she obviously wanted that tattoo removed, but after all the pain she'd been in and all the recovery, she didn't want to put herself through pain again to either get that removed or get that covered up.

So it took her a while, but eventually she decided. And I can't remember what she ended up doing. What? Why are your eyes like that? He did get married. Yeah. And she has a kid. Yeah.

And the kid was present for the wedding. Yeah. Oh, my gosh oh that's horrifying you know what I think we should do now what's that take some questions from the discord I agree

and you know how to get in this discord you sign up for our patreon at the $5 level or higher ass eating coffee lover You know how to get in this discord? You sign up for our Patreon at the $5 level or higher. Ass eating coffee lover wants to know, what are you getting rejuvenated over the break? Okay. If you were to get something rejuvenated, what would you do? What?

What would you do? I don't know. I always wanted to try lip fillers. Really? Yeah. Those look so painful. Yeah. I mean, my face. What would you do? I don't know. I always wanted to try lip fillers. Really? Yeah. Those look so painful. Yeah. I mean, do whatever you want, but oh my God. I don't think I'm going to do it, but I think that's what I would do.

Really? Yeah. Oh, man. Okay. Also, I feel like I've got really bad under eye circles. Is there a treatment I can get for that? Yeah. That looks terrifying, too.

Yeah. What do you do? It's filler in those. They do filler? Oh, yeah. Scary. Okay. It's filler in those. They do filler? Oh, yeah. Scary. Okay, I'm going to do that. See, I'm one of those weirdos, like, I'm very vain, but I'm also very wimpy.

Yeah, you don't like needles at all. So it's like, at what point will I look in the mirror and be like, you know what, I'm overcoming my fears. Sadwitch wants to know, Brandy, are there any hair services you just refuse to do because you know it will always look bad? One of the stylists where I work refuses to do blonde highlights in red hair because she hates the Kelly Clarkson look. I mean, yeah, I read that and I could picture it exactly. Absolutely, I can picture it. It's not that I refuse to do it because I don't like the way they look. I don't do perms because I hate doing them.

And I make my own rules. Okay. Why do you hate doing them? Are they a pain in the ass to do? They're a pain in the ass. I think people have unrealistic expectations. Expectations were, I would say 75% of the people who get a perm that are not a little old lady think that they're going to wake up every day and have amazing hair with no styling. Oh.

And this is simply not the truth. Well, God bless them. Yes. And yeah, they're a pain in the ass to do and I don't like doing them. And they smell bad. What do they smell like? They smell like rotten eggs. Mmm, rotten eggs. So I simply do not do them.

Very good. Imperfectly KJ says, not a question, but an update. Brandy, my whore winter was about as long as your hoe face,

but I have to say I've never been so happy to fail at something so spectacularly. Congratulations. I felt exactly the same way. Good for you, you failed hoes.

Grazed and Confused asks, do you like your coffee with cream or black? What about flavored syrups? Black, baby. I know. You're a black coffee drinker. I like cream in mine.

Of course you do. Yeah. That's weakness right there. No, do you do the flavored creamer? We just have like a sugar-free French vanilla. Wow, you guys are wild. Okay, you know what I... It's so good that you don't even need to add any Splenda or anything.

That's how good it is. That's how good it is. That's how good it is. You know what I do in the winter sometimes? Eggnog. Eggnog. Oh, that's the good stuff. I bet that is good. I've never tried that.

We have both coffee and eggnog in my home currently, though. Wow. Well, might I make a bold suggestion for tomorrow morning? Bluey taught me, got any more merch planned? Should I say? Oh, yeah. Should I? Okay. Put it out there. Got any more merch planned? Should I say? Oh, yeah. Put it out there. Unsure of release date.

Yeah. So, you know, we're on it. It's in the works. We're doing another batch of the Juvenile Bigfoot hoodies because everybody loves those. People want them. So we're doing another batch, but also controversial crewnecks. Yeah. You know, Brandy has to have her hood up to go into 7-Eleven and get that slurpee.

But we're doing crewnecks that say skeezy skunch in a white lettering on a black crewneck because we only wear black. That's right. Be prepared for any funeral at any time. My uncle is a millionaire asks, if you could buy each other any Christmas present, money is no object, what would it be? I know exactly what I would do. What? Okay.

What I would want to do is, like, you, me, David, Norm, we go on, like, an amazing trip to New York City. And we see a ton of Broadwayway shows norm would hate it but maybe he could just stay at the home at the hotel and watch espn like we stay in a really cool hotel we like go do all the dorky tours of like nbc um yeah i think that would be amazing that's exactly what i was gonna say what no bullshit our gift to each other would be amazing. That's exactly what I was going to say. What? No bullshit. Our gift to each other would be the exact same. Yes. We would love it. We would.

I have legit thought of that so many times. Like, yeah, that would be the most fun thing because it'd be so amazing we fucking love the theater yes oh my god we'd see the shit out of hamilton oh oh fuck we can't think about it anymore it's oh my god teddy bonkers asks what did you do or want to do as a young teenager that in hindsight you were clearly too young to do. My brother is turning 13 today, and he still seems like a baby. But when I was 13, I was getting drunk in Parks After Dark. I think that, like, a 13-year-old today, I would never let do a lot of the shit that we did,

like go to the mall by themselves and even, like, gosh, we used to ride our bikes all over the place when we were 13. I don't think people let their kids do that now. Really? I think I'd let my kid do that. Really? What if they get abducted? Well, I mean, the thing is, like, we always traveled in a herd. Yeah.

And no one wants to get anywhere near a herd of teenage girls. Well, unless you're a really determined pervert. Okay, well, now I see what you mean. Yeah. I don't know. Is the world really as scary as we think it is? I mean, we do these true crime stuff all the time. I kind of feel like if you know your neighborhood, you keep an eye on the kids. You're the one driving them there, picking them up.

They've all got cell phones. Sure, we didn't have cell phones. You get an agreement from everyone at the mall that they will not murder your kids. Exactly. Also, do kids even go to malls now? I don't know. Do they? I have no idea.

I honestly, I can't tell you the last time I went inside a mall. Actually, no, I can. I went to Nordstrom not that long ago, but you know what I mean. Yeah. It used to be like every week. Yeah, the hangout. I don't know. I'm picturing my niece.

I'm not sure I'd drop just a group of her and her friends off at the mall. I don't know. What if they were wrapped in bubble wrap? No, I don't think that's going to make me feel any better. Weird. Shay Like the Butter wants to know, Kristen, are you a T-Swift fan? Have you listened to her re-release of Red? I've been thinking about you a lot since the topic of age gaps in romantic relationships

and how they tend to spell trouble is very prominent on the interwebs right now thanks to Taylor. Okay, I have to tell you, I have never been a Swifty before. I know you haven't. And I'm fucking obsessed with the 10 minute version of All Too Well.

Hmm. It's so fucking good. So you're saying you want to come into my club. I listen to it multiple times a day. Hell yeah. And that's a commitment. I mean,

a 10 minute song multiple times a day. It's so good. You're really putting some time aside. It's so good. Answer to the question, hell yes.

Oh my gosh, this is such a brandy question. Brianna wants to know, favorite winter candle? Ooh. I know what you're going to say. You do? I feel like I know. What are you going to say? What am I going to say?

Are you going to say sweater weather? Oh yeah, I love sweater weather. Yeah. Okay, we're currently in our home. We are burning winter white woods. She smells amazing. Next in the lineup, I have fresh balsam ready to go. I love that.

Yeah. I mean, you give me any, really any dark green Christmas candle, I'm going to fucking love it. Yeah. I love a fucking Christmas candle. I know. They're so much better than all the other seasons of candles. I also just received cinnamon and clove bud, which smells so fucking good. Okay, I bet that is amazing. I love the smell of cloves.

Do you like the smell of cloves? Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like spicy. Mm-hmm. Because I don't like them too sweet. Yeah, I Do you like the smell of cloves? Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like spicy. Mm-hmm. Because I don't like them too sweet. Yeah, I don't like the sweet ones.

Mm-hmm. No. Sugar cookie, get the fuck out of here. Oh, see, I will do a sugar cookie, but I don't. No, get the fuck out of here. It's like the one I'll kind of do, but you know. Not interested. My problem is if I smell sugar cookies, then I'm like, okay.

I need to eat a sugar cookie. Where are the sugar cookies? Yes. Hand I smell sugar cookies, then I'm like, okay, where are the sugar cookies? Hand over the sugar cookies. Cool whip forever. No. What celebrity would you want to meet? And Brandy, why is it Lance Bass? It is 100% Lance Bass.

And I would, I think I would just like, poof, cease to exist when I met Lance Bass. You've reached the end of life. What if he gave you a hug? I know. You would just die. That would be it. Yeah. I have loved Lance Bass since I was 11 years old.

Your relationship with Lance Bass is longer than any other man. It is. It is. It's one-sided, but don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. My relationship with Lance Bass is the same length as my relationship with you. No, I was here before Lance Bass. Brandy, how dare you? For instance, we were 10. No, I was here before Lance Bass. Brandy, how dare you?

Yeah, I guess we've been friends since we were 10. Yeah, suck on that, Lance. Sorry. Excuse me. Oh, Freckle says, very, very important, not a question, but will you please yell happy birthday to little bitch uncle? She's 30 next to me. Yes, happy birthday, little bitch uncle she's 30 next to me yes happy birthday little bitch uncle uh gadriel asks any new christmas songs catch your ear this year okay not no not for me because i know

all the christmas songs i'm very well versed in every christmas song not to brag. David and I were in the car and we were listening to Christmas music and this terrible Christmas song came on. Okay. It's a Neil Diamond Christmas song and it's like a very cherry, very merry Christmas. Uh-huh. And it's horrible. And so I hate it. I love Neil Diamond. Uh-huh.

The song is terrible. And so it's just on. And like I've heard it a million times. And finally David's like, what the hell is this? He's like, is this a new song? I was like, no, it's been out for a while, but it's terrible. Yeah, I mean, some Christmas songs, they slip under the radar. Yeah.

Because you can only have so many good ones. That's right. Okay, here's one. Kate Tate wants to know, what is the one present you never got for Christmas you always wanted? Walkie Talkies. Yeah. Yeah, you and your sisters wanted Walkie Talkies. We wanted Walkie Talkies. Yeah. Yeah, you and your sisters wanted Walkie Talkies. We wanted Walkie Talkies so fucking bad.

We never got them. Barbie Jeep. Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I am realizing now that we are saying these answers aloud, that we have answered this

question in Christmas past, but clearly the scars run deep because we have not changed our answers. We have not. How does it feel now that you and all your sisters have cell phones? Not nearly as cool as Waffle Takis. Do you sometimes say, over? Done for. Should we move on to Supreme Court Inductions? Yeah, let's do Supreme Court inductions.

We are continuing to read your names and your favorite cookies. Lynn Keith. No baked peanut butter. That's just a jar of peanut butter. Nicolette Bourne. Chocolate chip cookies, underbaked and fresh out the oven. Brittany Riggins. Still warm white chocolate macadamia cookies.

Amanda Ray. Oatmeal scotchies with sea salt on top. Ooh, excuse me. Arizona Keeling. My dad's snickerdoodles. Ashley O. Chocolate chip. Jess.

Chocolate chip M&M. Darby Casey Caramel Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Reagan Barton Ginger Snaps Madeline Carroll Double Chocolate Chip Christy Wynne Ucrops

Rainbow Cookies Courtney Benson Cooey Soft Warm Molasses Cookies So good. Friny. Chocolate chip with brown butter and sea salt. I gotta try this brown butter cookie business. I know, it sounds pretty darn good.

It does. Charlotte Borman. Soft chocolate chip. Bryant. Hard chocolate chip. You see? Macadamia nut. Amy Bike.

Lavender shortbread. So many people are mentioning lavender in their cookies. Am I missing out? Okay, they do this on the Great British Baking Show all the time. Do they? Yes. I think of it as a bath time thing. I agree.

All right, I'll take the cookies to the bathtub. Desmond Harold Stewart. Chewy molasses cookies. Samantha Long. Snickerdoodle. Crystal P. Sugar cookie with frosting and sprinkles. Cassie Bartlett.

My Snickerdoodles. Welcome to the Supreme Coach! Woo! Thank you for all of your support all year long! Oh yeah! Oh man! We're wrapping up the year! We are wrapping it up. all year long. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

We're wrapping up the year. We are wrapping it up. Thank you for all of your support. This has been an amazing year for the podcast. It really has. Yeah, it really has. God, you know, since we still have to

record a Patreon episode, this doesn't feel like the last one, but now I'm like, we gotta say stuff to people. We hope you all have happy holidays and, you know, get to do amazing things and

celebrate however you celebrate. Yeah, and thank you for supporting us. And we'll miss you. Yeah! If you're looking for other ways to support us, please find us on social media. We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, Patreon. Please remember to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen

and then head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave us a five-star rating and review and then be sure to join us next year! When we'll be experts on two whole new topics! Podcast adjourned! And now for a note about our process.

I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitate it all back up in my very limited vocabulary. And I copy and paste from the best sources on the web, and sometimes Wikipedia. So we owe a huge thank you to the real experts. I got my info from the video The Case of John Copenhaver by JCS Criminal Psychology on YouTube, an article for ESPN by Jane McManus titled The Tragic Love Story of Christy Mack, an MMA fighter war machine, as well as Rolling Stone, New York Daily News, the Las Vegas Sun, and more. I got my info from an episode of the podcast, This Is Monsters.

The Associated Press, Murderpedia, KTVO News, a Murderpedia again, apparently, and the court record. For a full list of our sources, full list of our sources, full list of our sources, visit lgtcpodcast.com. Any errors are, of course, ours, but please don't take our word for it. Go read their stuff.