Let's Go To Court! - 241: Fugitives!

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Dry those eyes! Your favorite midwestern gals are back from break and fully (ahem) rejuvenated.  Brandi starts us off with a story that *seems* straightforward. When LaNell Barsock was discovered dead in her home, investigators looked into the most likely suspect – her boyfriend, Louis Bonheur. He’d always been the jealous type. LaNell’s friends said that he could be controlling. In fact, on the day of her murder, Louis got into a public altercation with LaNell. Investigators figured they had their guy. But Louis had a rock-solid alibi. Then Kristin tells us about one of the douchiest men we’ve ever covered. His name was Ira Einhorn, but he nicknamed himself “The Unicorn.” He claimed that he read a new book every day. He claimed that he invented Earth Day. He claimed to have insider knowledge on everything from extraterrestrials to global conspiracies. What he didn’t like to claim was his history of violence toward women – specifically women who were in the process of dumping him. So when his ex-girlfriend Holly Maddux wound up dead, Ira blamed everyone but himself.  And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: “The Ira Einhorn Case,” by Steve Lopez for Time Magazine  “Ira Einhorn, counterculture guru and murderer, dies in prison at 79,” by Katharine Q. Seelye for The New York Times “No, Ira Einhorn is not the founder of Earth Day,” by Dan Mcquade for PhillyMag.com “A touch of Eden,” by Russ Baker for Esquire “Ex-Fugitive convicted in 25-year-old murder,” The Associated Press “Maddux boyfriend testifies he feared for her safety,” by Joann Loviglio for The Associated Press “For Ira Einhorn, a fate worse than death, by Dave Lindorff for Salon.com “Fugitive Einhorn is guilty of murder in 1977 bludgeoning of his girlfriend,” by Linda Loyd for the Philadelphia Inquirer “Former hippie guru Ira Einhorn convicted of killing girlfriend in ‘77,” by Joann Loviglio for The Associated Press “The Unicorn Killer,” episode of People Magazine Investigates In this episode, Brandi pulled from: “The Case of LaNell Barsock” episode Dateline: The Last Day “Woman leaves false clues in lover's murder, caught after escape to Belize” True Crime Daily “Investigators Focus In On Slain Nurse's Boyfriend, But Who Is The Real Killer?” By Jill Sederstrom, Oxygen “Jury deliberates in case of woman accused of shooting ex-lover, fleeing to Belize” by Jerome Campbell, Los Angeles Times “Palmdale woman guilty of killing lover, framing victim’s boyfriend” The Antelope Valley Times “Palmdale woman’s conviction upheld for fatally shooting ex-lover” by City News Service, The Antelope Valley Times YOU’RE STILL READING? My, my, my, you skeezy scunch! You must be hungry for more! We’d offer you some sausage brunch, but that gets messy. So how about you head over to our Patreon instead? (patreon.com/lgtcpodcast). At the $5 level, you’ll get 40+ full length bonus episodes, plus access to our 90’s style chat room!  

One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts. I'm Kristen Caruso. I'm Brandi Pond. Let's go to court. On this episode, I'll be talking about the unicorn. A specific unicorn?

No, the unicorn. And I'll be talking about the murder of Linnell Barsak. A specific Linnell? Yes, it is a specific Linnell. Kristen shamed me for my title. Well, yeah. Because I couldn't figure out a little description to do for this episode. And so I just said I was going to talk about a murder.

And Kristen's like, oh, our first episode back. You're already phoning it in. I don't want to give anything away about this case. It's too good. Okay, but writing just a few words about it isn i couldn't do it i couldn't do it everyone she was literally gonna say and i'll be talking about a murder yeah i've said that before yeah exactly a million times here we are back from break supposedly refreshed i am refreshed supposedly ready to go tighter than ever that's true. I got a pap this morning.

They cranked me wide open. Okay. You know, I was just about to ask, and I know the listeners were too. They were like, they're back from break, but how's Brandy's vagina doing? I guess we'll find out next week.

Yeah. It's called a cliffhanger. That's called being the best in the biz. Next thing you know, y'all are going to be sucked into this podcast. You're like, I gotta find out how that pap turned out. They did some scraping in there. They sure did.

What'd they get? Who knows? Find out next time on Rocky and Bullwinkle. Did I tell you that I'm going to go get a mammogram? You are? I'm terrified. You're putting your big girl pants on? You're going to go get a mammogram?

Well, I've not scheduled anything. Okay. But I have gone to the website. I like that you're saying it out loud. I know. Like we're all going to check in with you. But you know what to the website. I like that you're saying it out loud. I know. So now, like, we're all gonna check in with you. But you know what I saw online? How they do it? They're talking about, like, 3D mammograms? Yeah.

What the f- They're gonna squish that titty all up in there. I know. I know. So- Well, probably both titties, not just one. I would prefer a BOGO deal for sure. I don't want to have to come back again. I mean, how hard are they gonna clamp them down? I don't know. I've never had again. I mean, how hard are they going to clamp them down? I don't know.

I've never had one. Are they going to look like tube socks at the end? I did get a breast exam this morning as well. Oh, that's nothing. No, no. That was nothing. That's practically enjoyable. I feel like my doctor was more uncomfortable with it than I was.

Is there something weird about your tits? I don't think so. But she was like, okay, now put your arm up. Uh-huh. Okay. And I'm just, okay, great. And great. And I'm going, okay, great. And great. And I'm going to just move to the other one.

Okay, wonderful. And we're all set. Like, I was like, you're saying too much. Was she doing the paddle motion? Yes. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we discussed this. Yeah.

I love talking about my yearly visit to the gynecologist. It had been two years since I had been. It was last year. I got lucky and they just refilled my birth control without me having to go in. Great. I did not get that lucky this year. Okay. Well.

Anyway. Anything else you want to talk about? Yeah. Weirdly, I didn't ask about any of this. And yet I have been informed twice, actually, because when you came to the house, you told me all this, too. Okay, here's the real story. I was very anxious. I don't like going to the doctor.

Yeah. I was very anxious about it because I have an expectation of what will happen when I go to the doctor. Yeah. That they won't be very nice to me and that any complaint I have, they will tell me that I need to lose weight. Yeah. And that did not happen today. They were amazing to me. They listened to my concerns. They changed my prescription and they mentioned my weight zero times. And it was a wonderful experience. And it's really sad that the bar is that low. Did they weigh you?

They did weigh me. Yeah. Okay, but they didn't. No. Yeah, all right. No comments about it, like nothing. Yeah. Yeah.

Boy. Yeah. And that was a wonderful experience. Oh, good times. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you had such a blast. A blast getting a pap. I am excited to be back.

I'm so excited to be back. We recorded the bonus episode for January, like two weeks ago. Loved it. Had a great time. Best time. This episode won't be as good. And that's why you should sign up for our Patreon. What's in that episode?

Yeah, I talked about the Corpse Bride. Yeah, I was disgusted. She talked about the Corpse Bride. It was terrible. I hated it. But, you know, I brought the goods. So don't worry. Yeah, yours was just real lighthearted.

As always. goods so don't worry yeah yours are just real light-hearted as always listen no one was all right okay okay so you you oh no okay i was gonna say uh i was gonna do you want me to start but we have to know we need to do an ad that's right is that our sound going into an ad well because you see we've added in ad breaks into old episodes, and there's really kind of rocky transitions. So that's me trying to ease the transition for people. I don't think that's doing it. People are at ease.

People are so confident. I don't think so. They're like, I thought she was going to ask me about my weight. Instead, she did the... Anyway, please stop interrupting. Welcome back from the ad.

See, am I easing the transition? Is this how we're doing it from now on? I want to ease them in. You're not going to make the noise? Welcome back. All right. Can I start now? i don't know very can you tell you this story that's a grammar lesson because she's so stupid everyone i'm feeling um a little hurt a little sensitive oh why is that because on the facebook fan group someone posted a poll that was like

who's storytelling do you like better that's like, who's storytelling do you like better? That's not what they said. Brandy, who do you like better as a person? That's also not what they said. Brandy, who clearly sucks, or Kristen, who's clearly awesome? They said, what types of cases do you like better? Brandy's winning. By a fucking landslide.

Calm down. Everybody loves you, Kristen. Most of all, me. And not just as a friend. What if that's the way you told me? On the podcast. That would really soften the blow for me losing this poll.

I'd be like, well, she's been pining for me for years. God, so desperate. Fine, you can kiss me. This is how rumors get started. I'm fine with it. Absolutely. I think it'd be a great rumor.

Yeah. We're secret lovers. All right, go ahead and tell me your story about a murder. Please don't give anything away. Maybe you shouldn't even tell the story. I'm going to tell the story. All right, shout out to Schnurpinflurp. What?

What? What? Schnurpinflurp. That's a person in our discord Who recommended this game Thank you Thank you I watched I feel like I'm going to lose all my teeth

I'm sorry You ever just feel a little sensitive In your teeth and you think Half of these puppies are gone Alright I'm going to try to soldier through Yeah sometimes I feel like feel a little sensitive in your teeth and you think half of these puppies are gone. This is when they just fall out, yeah. All right. I'm going to try to soldier through. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I feel a little loose in my head.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, do you ever feel like a plastic bag floating through the wind? Okay. Baby, you're a firework. What are you doing? I'm trying to tell you about my problems. Anyway, what did Schnurp and Flurp say?

Schnerp and Flurp said you should do this case. Okay, so I watched an episode of Dateline The Last Day. Are you familiar with this new program? No. It's new. It's a new iteration of Dateline. How many spins? Exactly.

Exclusive to Peacock, which just meant I had to pay $5 to watch it. Other than that, it's just like regular Dateline. You made the podcast pay, right? No, I just paid for it. What? Brady! I just signed up for it. Now I get to watch Peacock for $5.

Well, no, I just signed the... I realize this is a business conversation. Everybody doesn't need to know about it, but... You know, I signed us up for Discovery Plus, and if you think I'm not watching some 90 Day Fiancé on the podcast dime, then you're wrong. All right, perfect. Also, so I watched an episode of Dateline the last day, which as far as I could tell is just regular Dateline, but it's exclusive to Peacock. Okay. This was a Josh Mankiewicz episode. And I would like to go on the record and say that at the beginning of this podcast, I talked a lot of shit on Josh Mankiewicz.

And I have revised my opinion on him. And I feel like I was a real asshole to him. And I would like to issue an official apology to Josh Mankiewicz, who I am sure is a huge fan of this program. Well, Josh, you can dry your tears. Brandi's decided to stop being an asshole. I mean, what kind of a fucking asshole? I made fun of his hair and his crooked tie. And he worked really hard on every episode, I'm sure.

And I feel really bad about that. So I'm very sorry, Josh Mankiewicz. I was horrified by what you said. That's not nice. Anyway, so I watched that. There's also an article for True Crime Daily that a lot of this comes from and some articles for the L.A. Times. You ready? Yeah.

Lorraine Austin was frantic. It was the evening of June 16th, 2010, when she burst into the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Station in Palmdale, California, begging for help. She had blood all over her as she relayed a horrifying tale to the deputies at the station. Lorraine, which I will tell you, I did not think was pronounced that way, but that's how they pronounce it on the Dateline episode. It is spelled L-A-R-E-N-E. Say that again. L-A-R-E-N-E. Lorraine?

They pronounce it Lorraine. Okay. Lorraine told detectives that she had been at her best friend, Linnell Barsock's house, earlier that day. She'd been installing some new weave in her hair. But Linnell and her boyfriend. Everyone, Brandi just mimed installing weave. That's right. You're missing so much by not being able to see this story.

I've got one hand, you know, on the head. The other is, you've got the curved needle. Have you ever done a weave before? Just only in cosmetology school. Okay. Yeah. Not since then. So many moons ago.

Yes. Because you're so old. I went to cosmetology school 17 years ago. Good God! Yeah. Oh! Oh! Okay, so Lorraine had been at Linnell's house installing some new weave in her hair, but Linnell and her boyfriend had gotten into this fight and it got very uncomfortable.

So Lorraine had left to give them some space to work out that stuff. That's so awkward. To work out their stuff, I meant, but you know, whatever. Yeah, we're all feeling awkward. We didn't even catch that. Thank you. And so Lorraine had left for a few hours and then had come back later in the evening, like five hours or so had gone by. And she came back to finish Linnell's weave. Lorraine told detectives that she had entered through Linnell's open garage door

and had gone to walk into the house from there, but she had slipped on something in the garage and fallen to the floor. Seconds later, she realized that she had slipped in a pool of blood and had landed next to a body. Oh my God. Lanelle's body. She was sure of it because she recognized her pedicure. Lanelle's lifeless body was laying in a pool of blood on the garage floor. A plastic bag was covering her face. Lorraine said that she gathered herself and got herself back onto her feet, and as she did so, and as she did so, she heard footsteps inside the house. though. And as she did so, she heard footsteps inside the house. It sounded like someone was walking around upstairs. And then it sounded like that someone was walking toward the staircase. So she kind of glanced inside the house. I'm assuming like the door from the garage to the

house was open. She glanced toward the staircase. She reached for her phone, but she couldn't find it. And she looked up and she made eye contact with someone as they came into view as they descended the staircase. And she recognized the person. Well, yeah, it was the boyfriend. It was Linnell's live-in boyfriend. Wow.

Just spoiling it, Kristen. Well, it doesn't take a genius. His name was Louis Bonner. Oh. Bonner. Bonner. Okay. Excuse you.

French? He's Haitian, so yes, it's French. Lorraine said she saw him coming down the stairs toward her, so she ran. Yeah. She ran out of the garage, she ran to her her car and she drove straight to the sheriff's department. She was certain that Lewis had actually gotten into his truck and followed her most of the way. But she said she'd lost him just before she made it to the police station. Deputies were stunned by what they heard and they rushed to Linnell Barsock's home,

located at... Okay, okay, hang on, hang on. Okay. 3-7-4-1-9, Rocky Lane, Palmdale, California. What are we doing with Palmdale? Is that one word? It's all one word, yes. And Rocky is I-E, not Y.

Well, that's cute. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's a big home this is huge yeah so it looks to me i looked at the sale records a little bit gosh that backyard is pitiful yeah so it looks like this was a house that kind of suffered from the bubble bursting in 2008 so she got got it for pretty cheap in 2009. At this time, she'd lived there about a year. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, 3,600 square foot home. And to be clear, the backyard, it's huge and everything.

It's huge. It's just all dirt. Yeah. It's just dirt. Yeah. All right. The place has no personality. It is very builder grade. Yes. Okay. All right. The place has no personality. It is very builder grade, yes.

Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm sorry I was looking at the house. I forgot I have to tell you the rest of the story. You did kind of look at me like, and you're looking at me because? When the police arrived at the home, they were met with a horrible scene, just as Lorraine had described. There was blood everywhere.

They said that on the Dateline episode. Josh Mankiewicz said it exactly like that, which is maybe I'm thinking now why I've decided I like him. Hmm. All right. Hmm. Interesting. That's not why. Why?

interesting that's not why why it's because like when we first started the podcast we never ever thought of people listening to it yeah and so like you just say stuff yeah like you're just talking to your buddy yeah absolutely and then like you think of somebody actually listening to us like saying oh he looks like he just got off a bender yeah and sat down to do his job and yes yeah it feels shitty yeah it does it feels related yeah with you yeah okay i'd like to reiterate that i apologize for ever saying that about josh minkowitz no everybody knows you're apologizing okay okay great thank you um but is she i am how dare you teasing just as lorraine had told them lanelle's body lay on the garage floor it was surrounded by blood and her face was covered with a black plastic trash bag this was a sign to the detectives that lanelle had been killed by someone that she knew

that's not a surprise lorraine had already told them that. Detectives also discovered in the back of what, Linnell's car that was in the garage, the trunk was open and there was like bloody bedding back there and like a pillow that had a gunshot hole through it. It was clear that someone had attempted to bring Linnell out of the house and load her into the back of this car for disposal purposes and had been unsuccessful at that. They'd been perhaps interrupted in the middle of that. Yeah.

Initially, police believed Linnell had suffered blunt force trauma to the back of the head. Inside the house, it was clear that someone had attempted to clean up a crime scene. Luminol in the living room showed blood and drag marks from the living room to the garage. It was clear that Linnell had been killed inside the house. And then perhaps in an attempt to get rid of her body, as I just said, they had pulled her out to the garage and started to load her in the car. But it seemed that they'd been interrupted, likely by Lorraine coming into the house.

But what way did Lorraine come into the house again? She came in through the garage. But she saw the body right away. She didn't see the body right away. The garage was like, what I, what my understanding is that the garage door was open, but it was starting to get dark outside. And there was like no light on in the garage or anything. So she walks into the garage knowing she's going to enter the house through that way. She slips on something.

It's a puddle of blood. Hmm. Okay. So initially they believe, like I said, that Linnell had suffered blunt force trauma to the back of the head. A later autopsy would determine she'd actually been shot in the back of the head. And they also located that pillow in the trunk of the car that had a gunshot through it. So homemade silencer type situation. Thankfully, Lorraine had seen someone at the scene, Louis Bonner, and Lorraine was very

familiar with how volatile Linnell and Louis's relationship could be. And so she'd filled the police in on this. Can anyone else back that up? On the relationship? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. We're going to get into it right now. Okay. Okay. Yes. So Linnell and Lewis had met at school. So Linnell was a licensed vocational nurse, but she was going back to school to become a registered nurse. Right. And she met Lewis when he was also taking classes at the same school. He was taking English as a second language classes. Maybe you should take those classes.

Thank you. Because as I mentioned earlier, he had immigrated from Haiti. Right. Linnell was like super outgoing and very kind and generous. And she, you know, had kind of talked to Louis a couple times at school. And then she saw him, like, waiting for a bus one night. And she offered him a ride home. And they hit it off.

And they started dating. And according to Louis's friends, their relationship became serious pretty quickly. They were very much in love. They moved in together into this big house that Linnell had purchased. And things were pretty good from the outside. But then they started talking to some other friends, friends of Linnell's. And they talked to Lorraine. And it seemed like Lewis had a really bad jealous

streak. He was constantly accusing Linnell of cheating on him. He would like show up at her work just to see if she was actually there. Oh God. Yeah. He would steal her phone and like text people from her phone pretending to be her to see what their response would be to stuff. Yeah, it was bad. Lorraine said that there was kind of this dark side to Lewis that not a lot of people knew. And it was this jealous streak. And other people back that up as well. Linnell's mother said there was an incident where she got a call and this was just maybe a week or so prior to Linnell's death. She got a call from Linnell and Linnell was crying and she said that Lewis had tried to run her off the road in her car. It was really bad. There was another situation where, okay, Linnell had this friend. His name was Ike,

and they were kind of like talking. She was carrying on some form of relationship with him. It may have been romantic, hard to know because we don't have Linnell to tell us, but it seems like it may have been romantic in nature. And he, this guy, Ike, had given her another cell phone. I don't know how to respond to that. Nobody is talking to you, Siri. Oh, my gosh. So he had given Linnell like a Linnell and he had heard Lewis in the background yelling at her and like a fight had started and he got really concerned about it. And so he actually independently called the police and asked them to respond to Linnell's address. The police showed up and at

that point nothing had been physical so nobody was arrested no charges were ever filed but there was a record of the police coming out to that house about a month before Linnell's death for a domestic disturbance. Yeah. The very day that Linnell died had been, as Lorraine had already told the police, there'd been a couple of arguments. That morning, Lorraine had come to Linnell's house. So Lorraine and Linnell had been friends for like 10 years. That's what Lorraine told the police, that they'd gone to high school together in LA. They'd been best friends for like 10 years. So on this particular day, on June 16th, 2010, Lorraine had come to Linnell's house with the plan that they were going to go to the beauty supply store, get some hair. They were going to come back. Lorraine

was going to install the weave in Linnell's hair. So she comes over and there's like a fight that's going on right when she gets there that morning. Apparently, Lewis had found that secret cell phone and Linnell was trying to defuse the situation. She kind of, you know, got it under control. And she was like, OK, let's go to the beauty supply store. Let's get the hair. And so they leave. Well, as they get to the beauty supply store, they look out and they see that Lewis has followed them to the beauty supply store. Oh, God. And he comes in the store and he's confronting Linnell about the cell phone in public. Yeah.

And so now Linnell is embarrassed and she's pissed and she is yelling at him. And there's this fight that's happening in public. And he, like, something happens. He reaches out to try and get this cell phone from Linnell and she reaches back. She ends up scratching him across the face. The situation ends. Lewis leaves. He goes about his day doing whatever.

They go back to the house. They start doing the weave. Lewis shows back up. The fight starts again. At that point, Lorraine decides she's going to leave. Let this situation diffuse. Let them be alone for a little while and later that afternoon about five hours later she comes back she told the police that when she left the house she just like went and hung out at a park nearby for a few hours

waiting for Linnell to call her and let her know that like it was cool for her to come back and when the hours passed and that didn't happen she decided she better go back and check on her friend. And when she did, she came back to that horrifying scene. So the detectives know that they need to track down Louis Bonner. And they're like, okay, let's find this guy. Like, where is he? He wasn't at the house. And Lorraine had told them that he'd followed her to the police station, but that she'd lost him like right before she got there. So they track him down and he's

actually in Los Angeles, which is like 60 miles away. He is actually at Linnell's mother's house. So they track him down and they take him and ask him to come with them. And they bring him back to the Palmdale Sheriff's Department. They sit him down to ask him some questions. And they're like, you know, what have you been doing today? And he's like, oh, I was I was actually with Lorraine's boyfriend. We've been working on my car, my truck. We went to a couple of different auto parts stores, got some different parts, and we've been working on my truck. And then I just decided, and since I was already in LA, that I would just stay at Linnell's mom's house tonight because it's closer to my work for tomorrow. It's a shorter commute. And so they're like, okay, all right. And they're like, you have, do you have like... That's really interesting.

What's interesting? Well, that her boyfriend is his alibi. So they're like, OK, do you have receipts for anything that you bought today? And he's like, yeah, I do. I have receipts for everything. And they're like, OK, all right. And they're like, you have a scratch on your face there. How'd you get that scratch? And so he admits to them that he had gotten into an argument with Linnell that morning at the beauty supply store and that she'd, you know, kind of a scuffle had ensued and she'd reached out and she'd scratched him across the face.

And they're like, okay, well, so that's kind of matching up with the story we already know. And they're like, you know,, so that's kind of matching up with the story we already know. And they're like, you know, how how's your relationship with Flanell? And he's like, it's good. It's good. You know, he he said that it was very loving that they both loved each other very much and they had a committed relationship. And they're like, OK. And they're like, that's interesting. So at that point, they confronted him with a letter that they had found at the home that he shared with Linnell.

It was essentially a breakup letter that Linnell had written him saying, I've been sleeping with someone else for four months. I'm leaving you for him. He makes more money than you do. Don't try and contact me. I'm gone. Really? Mm-hmm. And so they show it to him and he's like, I've never seen this in my life. And they're like, Linnell didn't give this to you today or this isn't what led to the arguments today. And he's like, no, I've never seen this before. And they're like, OK, interesting. They're like, where's Linnell right now? And he goes, I don't know.

Where is Linnell? Is she OK? And they're like, no, she's not okay. And he's like, what do you mean? And they're like, someone shot Linnell today. And he starts freaking out. He's like, what do you mean someone shot Linnell? Who would do that? And they're like, you tell us and he's like is she okay and they tell him that no that lanelle has died and he breaks down he immediately begins sobbing and he's like who would do this to her who would do this to her and then he puts together that that is the reason he is in this interrogation room that day because they believe that he did this to her and he goes yeah no no no this is not me this is not me i would not do this and he's just like oh my god it is heartbreaking to listen to i listen to the audio of this yeah he's just sobbing saying no no no this isn't me this isn't me who would do this to her why would someone do this to her oh and so he's like that's not right this isn't right why'd they do this to her and so he's like you have you have to find who did this to her and

they're like we found him we're looking at who did this to her gosh and they placed him under arrest for Linnell's murder so So they got a search warrant. They took his car and they searched it. And in his car, in his truck, they found all of the auto parts that he said he'd been in LA buying that day, along with multiple receipts. He'd been at, you know,

three or four different auto shops throughout the day buying different parts for his truck. And they're like, all right, well, that does match his story. But just because he has a receipt doesn't mean he was the one there buying them. And so they decided to go to L.A. But he was with someone else, too, right? And so that person backs up his story and says, yeah, I was with him in L.A. But again, that's just somebody's word. And so they decide to go and search the surveillance cameras at each of these stores to see if they can find him on camera buying these things. And so they go to these

three or four different auto parts stores in L.A., which is more than an hour away from Palmdale. Right. 60 miles. They said on a good day with no traffic, it would take you an hour and a half to drive. But there's never no traffic. There's never no traffic no traffic yes and so they go to these different auto parts stores they get him to pull the surveillance video and he is on every single one buying these auto parts throughout the afternoon oh my gosh there's no way he was at their home in Palmdale at the time of Linnell's murder. Right. And so they have him in custody and they're like, OK, how did he do this? How did he manage this?

They're sure they have the right guy. And so now they have to figure out how he managed it. Well, they probably don't if they've got him on tape at all these other places all across town. Yeah. So they decide they need to pull a cell phone records because, you know, cell phones go ping, cell towers go pong. We know your location all the day long. I've heard it before. So they pull his cell phone records, which takes three weeks. So he sits in custody for three weeks while they are waiting for these cell phone records to come in. And when they come in, they match his story exactly.

He was nowhere near Palmdale. He was in L.A. It was physically impossible for him to have been the one at the house who murdered Linnell that day. Just to be clear, they had video of him. That's correct. In addition to receipts and another person's word. That is correct. Saying that he was not in the vicinity

of where she was murdered. Yep. And yet they kept him in jail for three weeks. They kept him in jail for a month because once they got the records, they then spent a week going over them and making sure that they matched his story perfectly. That is utter bullshit. It is such bullshit. And I have to tell you that there's this infuriating scene in this episode of Dateline. OK, so they realize that his story, he's telling 100 percent the truth. His alibi is ironclad. There's not a chance in hell. Well, yeah, it doesn't get better than that.

No. And so they go to the county jail and they let him know that his alibi has checked out and that he is free to go. And so there's these two lead detectives on this case that are being interviewed on this Dateline episode. And one of them's like, you know, you know, I really expected when we let this guy go that, you know, we're maybe looking at a lawsuit for keeping him in custody for so long. And you should be. Instead, he gave us a big hug and thanks thanked us for for letting him go he was so appreciative okay that's because he was scared exactly exactly he was going to be put away for the rest of his life for something he didn't do and oh by the way his girlfriend was just murdered yeah yes yes but no you absolutely should be sued for that yeah and gee i wonder if

that would have happened to a white guy no sure yeah yeah okay cool so now they're like this is how they phrased it on the show. Oh, good. Let's hear it. You know, the lights start to go on that we're headed in the wrong direction. Started to go on? Yeah. You think?

You spent a month looking into this guy's alibi and every single part of it checked out. It took you a month so lorraine if she's smart has lickety split it out of there or something interesting that you should say that kristin well they gave her plenty of time so at this point they're back to square fucking one and they're looking over the case and they're like whose fault is that yeah and they're like, whose fault is that? Yeah. And they're like, you know, it's interesting. Most of the stuff that we know about this case came from Lorraine, who was covered in blood. Maybe we need to look into Lorraine. And so they go back and they're like, you know, there was kind of this weird thing that happened when Lorraine was at the police station making a statement one day at the early stage of this investigation.

So it's like not the day that she came in asking for help. It's a few days later when she's coming to make a statement. Well, Linnell's mother was also there at the police station that day. And they like passed each other in the hall. And Lorraine said hello to Linnell's mother and then left. And Linnell's mother asked the police detectives, she said, who was that woman? Oh. And they said, that's your daughter's best friend.

She says they've been best friends for 10 years. For 10 years, yeah. And she said, I've never seen that woman in my life. Oh, my God. What the fuck is her deal? And so they're like, what? Wait. That interaction.

That interaction happened a month ago, essentially, by the time that they're like, that was weird, huh? Yeah. Maybe we should look into Lorraine. Mm-hmm. Also. I hate this story. Thanks for telling me. You're welcome. Also, when they go, when they're now going over Lorraine's tail with a fine tooth comb, they're like.

I think you mean wide tooth comb. You mean wide-tooth comb. They're like, did she say she went to the park for four hours while she waited for the fight to cool down at the house? And they look back at the weather. She loves the swings. Uh-huh. Turns out it was 95 degrees that day. Yeah. Yeah.

So she just went out and sat at the park and she said she just watched kids play. For four hours? While it's 95 degrees out? Nothing I love better on a sweltering day than just sitting at the park and watching some other kids play. Some other person's kids play. Yeah, I mean, you've never done it for four hours, though, because the police always show up. That's right. Yeah.

So they're like, oh, shit. Yeah, that's that's interesting. That does sound kind of sketchy now that we think about it. Yeah. There was also like this little tidbit about like when Lorraine had come into the police department that day. They'd just like they'd taken pictures of her with the blood on her. And they asked her, you know, if they could look in her purse and whatever.

And they found two bullets in her purse. What? And she kind of hemmed and hawed and didn't really have a great explanation for how she had them. And so they had taken them as potential evidence. Yeah. taken them as potential evidence yeah and then when they compared those bullets to the bullet that had been found in Linnell they had the exact same marking on them from when they are like released from the gun which meant that the two live rounds that they found had been in the exact same gun that had fired the shot that had killed Linnell okay Okay. So at some point they had asked Lorraine if she would come

in and do a polygraph test when they, so this was over the course of this month when they're looking into Lewis's alibi and things are looking like, you know, Lewis might not be their guy. They're like, we better make sure that Lorraine over here is telling the truth. So they ask her if she'll come in for a polygraph. And she's like, absolutely, no problem. But then she starts giving them the runaround. Time's not going to work. I have to, you know, I've got to, you know, I have stuff going on that day. Let's reschedule it, whatever.

Then Lorraine just disappears. Well, yeah. Of course she did. After Lorraine disappeared, they did get like a warrant to search, I don't know, her cell phone records or her computer or something. I'm not real clear. But they get some search history from some kind of internet browser that she had been accessing and she had been searching ways to beat a polygraph test. Okay, great. But again, Lorraine is nowhere to be found.

By now they have processed the physical evidence that was found at the scene. There was a bloody footprint that showed up like in luminol on the living room carpet. Perfect match to the size of Lorraine's foot. Also, there had been these latex gloves that they'd done a DNA test on the inside of. Matched Lorraine's foot. Also, there had been these latex gloves that they'd done a DNA test on the inside of, matched Lorraine's DNA. Also, there was like a plastic jug that had been used and it had a fingerprint on it. And it was. I just I can't even guess. It's Lorraine's, Kristen. It's Lorraine's fingerprint. My goodness. This is so shocking. So, yeah. So once they get access to, I believe it is Lorraine's phone records. It could also be they also had Linnell's phone records.

They discover that the women had actually only known each other about four weeks. Yeah. Not ten years. All right. So they had met each other on Craigslist in the women seeking women section. OK. So initially they had had some kind of sexual relationship that had gone on for a couple of weeks, two, three weeks.

And then Linnell had text Lorraine and said, you know, things are getting pretty serious with my boyfriend. I really want to focus on that. I'm sorry. I no longer want to have any kind of sexual relationship with you, but I have actually really enjoyed your friendship. So I would love to continue being friends if you are open to that. Yeah. And Lorraine had responded. Absolutely. I feel exactly the same. Let's just be friends. And so they had continued their friendship. And that text message came about a week before Linnell was murdered.

So at this point, police believe that Lorraine had come to Linnell's house that day, had started doing her hair. They believe the argument at the beauty supply store actually did happen because. Yeah. No. He admitted it. He admitted to that. He's got the scrape on him. The fight in the afternoon never happened.

Lewis never came back to the house. Are they sure, though? I mean, do they have receipts? Right. And another guy who was with him and also video. Yeah. And does his cell phone back it up? It all matches.

It all matches. I'm not quite sure. Not quite sure. Well, hmm. Yeah. So they believe that Lorraine had sat Linnell down, had, you know, started doing her hair. And then while she was behind her, she grabbed the pillow off of her couch. Yeah, but why?

That's the thing is that no one really knows why. Yeah. There is not a great motive in this case. It seems that perhaps there was this – well, I'll get into it when we get to trial, but there's like some kind of a financial motive here, but it's not great. Right, because, I mean, what's she going to get out of this? Yeah, exactly. Nothing.

She has nothing to gain from it. So, yeah. So they know has nothing to gain from it. So, yeah. So they know that Lorraine is their person, but they can't find Lorraine. And so this story is featured on America's Most Wanted in 2011, and a year goes by. Yeah. And then finally they get a tip from someone in Belize who thinks they saw Lorraine. And so police go to Belize and on January 25th, 2012, more than a year after she'd fled Palmdale, they arrest Lorraine in Belize. And she was extradited back to California. And in September of 2012, she entered a not guilty plea when she was charged with the murder of Linnell Barsak.

OK. Yep. So this thing had multiple delays, but finally her trial began in July of 2015. At trial, the prosecution laid out their theory for the jury. They said Lorraine thought that she had won the lottery when she met Linnell. Linnell was generous and hardworking. She had this nice home. And Lorraine really thought that she would benefit from this relationship as it initially started.

She thought she'd get to move in with Linnell. I'm sure that was something that was talked about pretty early, like, oh, yeah, I got this big house. You can move in and whatever. At this time, Lorraine was unemployed and in a ton of debt. And so that's the prosecution's theory, that this is like,

she has this idea that this perfect life is going to come together once she meets Linnell. Because Linnell, everybody who knew Linnell talked about how generous she was. Multiple people talked about it on this Dateline episode. One guy that she was friends with that she met through school, he thought he was helping her shop for shoes for her boyfriend for

his birthday. And so he went shoe shopping with her. And it turns out she was just buying shoes for him because he'd never had really cool Nikes. Yeah. So he helps her pick out these shoes and then they get out of the store and she's like here they're for you god that's so sweet yeah yeah and so likely her relationship with lorraine had started very similarly they'd you know gone out to dinner and

she treated every time and whatever and so so the theory is basically she snapped when this didn't. When it didn't pan out the way that she thought it would. Yeah. And that she had this plan that she was going to dispose of so that she, you know, she killed Linnell and then she was going to dispose of Linnell's body. And then she was physically unable to lift her into the car. It was much harder than she anticipated it being. And she also got a call from her boyfriend that he and Lewis were done like hanging out for the day.

And so she assumed Lewis was coming back to the house. Did the boyfriend know what she was up to? I don't believe so. He is not like implicated in this in any way. It seems that he did not know at all. And like literally like four o'clock that afternoon, she gets a call from her boyfriend. He's like, yeah, Lewis and I are done hanging out. And so she's currently at the house cleaning up a bloody crime scene.

And she freaks out thinking Lewis is going to come home and find it. She didn't know that Lewis was going to go spend the night at Linnell's mother's house. Right. And that there was actually no risk of him coming home. And so she had panicked. And that's when she had driven to the police station and made up this whole story about seeing Lewis in the house and everything. OK. When did she write that breakup note? Well, yeah. So they yeah, she wrote the breakup note. They had it in court. They had a handwriting expert who went on the stand and said, yeah, the handwriting was absolutely Lorraine's handwriting

did not match Linnell's at all. And, yeah, they believe that she had planted that at the scene that day to make it look like either she had left or that Lewis. This is just weird. It's so weird. after while I'm sorry in this year while Lorraine was missing that were like um I actually like went on a date with that woman um or like I went and hung out at a bar with that woman but she said her name was Crystal which Crystal is what Crystal was what Lorraine called Linnell she told police that she called her Crystal because it was her middle name. I believe it is her middle name, but like that's what she called her by.

And so they believe that she was trying to like pass herself off as Linnell. She liked how she carried herself. She liked her persona. And so she was trying to emulate that and be her after Linnell's death. It's like a single white female kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. This is so fucking weird.

Yeah. Because honestly, it strikes me as too weird for just... And I know, I mean, the thing is, like, we always want everything to make sense. Yeah, of course. I mean, sometimes it just doesn't absolutely um but the story of like yeah we were kind of seeing each other for a couple weeks and it didn't work out so then i killed her yeah yikes yeah okay yeah so at trial the prosecution talked

about you know how they believed it happened that, you know, putting the weave in and that she did it while she was behind her. They had a ballistics expert who talked about the trajectory of the bullet, how that matched that theory. They talked about how they never found the murder weapon. weapon. They never found the gun, but the markings on the bullet and the bullet that was in Lorraine's purse the day that she had come into the police department, those matched. And they also belong to, I don't know, a nine millimeter handgun or whatever, which Lorraine had one registered to her. But they never found that weapon. weapon. The prosecution, knowing that the defense would argue that the police had the wrong person, that it was Lewis who had actually done this, not Lorraine, they put up all of the security footage, all of the receipts, everything that matched Lewis's alibi showing that he couldn't have possibly done this.

He could not. I don't think I said any words there. I said part of each of those words. We got the gist of it. Yeah. And I appreciate that you're saving time. That's right. We've got no time. We've got no time for me to finish words.

He couldn't possibly have been the one to do this. He was somewhere else. There were receipts. There was security footage. There was cell phone data. He was in somewhere else. There were receipts. There was security footage. There was cell phone data. Thank you, brah. And just as the prosecution had prepared themselves for,

Lorraine's defense attorney, David Kwok. Oh, I like that. I know. I love it. K-W-A-K. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. He said that the police had it right the first time. Lewis had done this. Mm-hmm. Lorraine had no motive. I mean, he's got that right. He does. Absolutely.

This is fucking weird. Sure. Linnell had ended the relationship with Lorraine, but Lorraine had responded to that message and said that she understood and she was on the same page and they had stayed friends. So, yeah. Okay, but what do you do with Lewis's, like, rock-hard alibi? Don't say rock-hard, Kristen. What was I going to say? What the fuck?

Rock solid is what I meant to say. I'm sorry. What about his throbbing alibi? Huh? Big, veiny, throbbing alibi. Well, I don't know about his alibi, but how about Linnell? She was cheating on him. So there's that.

Well, what about it? Yeah. That's literally all the defense said. They're like, whoa. Yeah. She was cheating on him. So you want to look at a motive here. Lewis is the one who had a motive.

I mean, okay, sure. Mm-hmm. But he doesn't have the opportunity. Right. So we're done there. Yeah. There's no way he did it nope yeah yeah but also you know he was the only one who would be mad because so it had to be him because she was

having an affair well that's not the only reason people get killed no no it's the only reason. And that was the gist of the prosecution and the defense. In their closing arguments, the prosecution said, why run if you're innocent? And pointed out that Lorraine Austin had gone on the run for a year when she knew the investigation had turned toward her. Honestly, though, I don't think that's a great argument because, I mean, if you're looking at it from the perspective of, well, we know Lewis was innocent and they locked him up for a month. No, you're absolutely right. And like, okay.

Absolutely right. And like, mm-hmm. Ugh. Yep. Yep. Okay. The prosecution concluded by saying, why change your story so many times when you did nothing wrong? Something doesn't add up.

Yep. The defense in their closing argument said, the prosecution has a very weak argument here and they know it. Also, but they did present all of the DNA and the fingerprints and all of that. So what you're saying is they had physical evidence and circumstantial evidence. That's correct. So really not such a weak case. It's not that weak. Yeah, it's not that weak of a case as it turns out.

The only thing it's weak on is motive and motive. They're not required to prove motive. Right. So, yeah, the jury found Lorraine Austin guilty of murder. And they also found her guilty of a firearms charge, which meant that she was sentenced to two terms of 25 years to life. Wow. So she has to, I believe, serve 50 years before she becomes eligible for parole. She did appeal following this on the basis that she was not tried by a jury of her peers. She didn't believe it was a diverse enough jury, which I'm sure it was not.

But that appeal was denied. I hate that. Yeah. They said so I did read through the appeal a little bit and they said 25 percent of the jurors were of minority groups, varying minority groups, Hispanic, black and Asian. And that that's a diverse enough selection. I think there's so much to be said though for jury of her peers exactly yeah I mean I don't think you need necessarily all the same type of person you know check every single box but you do need a jury of your peers I think yeah I know and that is the story of the murder of Linnell Barsak. I. That's so senseless and weird.

So weird. And yes, so senseless. Yeah. I do think it's almost. Her poor family. Can you imagine your loved one dies and like there's there's really no reason. There's no explanation. Yeah.

It's just it's so odd and upsetting. Yeah. I don't approve. Okay. Don't blame me. Blame schnurping flirt. Thanks a lot. Schnurping approve. Okay, don't blame me. Blame Shnurp and Flurp. Thanks a lot, Shnurp and Flurp.

Okay, you know what? I'm going to refill my iced tea and my iced coffee. You do it. And you know, at some point, there will be an ad put here. And we're back. You're just going to say that randomly? Not randomly. At some point there will be an ad.

And so it will be blah, blah, blah, ad. And then people will be lulled back into the podcast by the soothing sounds of my voice saying, and we're back. And Brandy, I understand you have an update for us on the poll that you're winning and that you pointed out to me. A new poll option has been added. Which is, this is very rude. I can't decide. Love them both. That sounds like someone felt really sorry for me and they added that. I'm pulling it up right now. Yeah, I can tell by how nervous you sound that you're worried that my feelings are going to get very hurt.

Here I go. Wow. Yeah. I'm losing horribly. Well. losing horribly. Well, and here I am, supposed to go on and tell a story. Gosh, I guess I'd have to be pretty brave to move forward here.

Yeah, the bravest bill toaster. May I share something very vulnerable with you right now? Absolutely. RuPaul talks a lot about the need to show your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Okay. She has a song. Uh-huh. Charisma, uniqueness, nerve, talent.

Yeah, I spelled it. I got it. Okay. See you next Tuesday. Right. Well, I've been, you know, watching a lot of seasons of Drag Race, all that stuff. I literally just figured out what that means last week. Ma'am, I figured it out in one second when you said it.

Norm did, too. Yeah. I texted Kyla. I said, I just now figured it out in one second when you said it. Norm did too. Yeah. I texted Kyla. I said, I just now figured it out. Your dicks and cider moment. Oh, my God. And she was like, how? How?

How? How are you this dumb? I had honestly, I had sat around and been like, hmm, charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Like, yeah, okay, that is what we all need to showcase. Like, I was trying to, like. Meanwhile, RuPaul's just saying cunt to me. All right. Just saying, show your cunt.

Anyway, I have a tale to tell. Do you think that's the first time the C word has been dropped on this podcast? No, absolutely not. You've said it before? I have for sure never said it. No, you have said it before. No. You have because I think someone asked, what's your least favorite word and you really

hate that word. I didn't just say the C word. I don't know. I doubt. Maybe you did. I think I probably did. Cunt out as they say. Stop it! Have we gone too far? Yeah, I think maybe. Really? You know I hate that word.

Why? I don't know. I just don't like it. What is it about the word? I don't know. It's the forbidden word. Is it because you're such a freaking rule follower? Maybe.

I like how I didn't say fucking. Yeah. Because I said the C word. That's right. Charisma, uniqueness, said the C word. That's right. Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. That's right. Anyway, let me use my charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent to tell you this story. Put your pants back on.

I demand it. What would you do if I took my pants off? I mean, I wouldn't probably do much. I would just sit here and be like this. You'd be so uncomfortable. I don't actually think I would be that uncomfortable if you had your pants off. You're going to do it? Jesus.

No, I'm not that uncomfortable with other people's nakedness. Bullshit. I'm really not. It's my own nakedness I'm uncomfortable with. Brandy, you've got to embrace your own charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent, okay?

Thank you. All right. I've got her under control. Oh, do you know the story of the unicorn? No, I don't know what this is. All right. What's the unicorn?

This is one of those stories that I'd never heard of. Uh-huh. And you're going to hear this story and be like, how the hell have we never heard this before? Okay. All right. Here we go. Oh, boy. That's right off the bat we're hitting it hard with a typo.

Oh, great. Ask me to spell inquirer. Can't do it, evidently. Thank you to reporting from the Philadelphia Inquirer or the Inquirer, as I wrote it, Salon.com, Esquire, the New York Times. And I found out about this case from the TV show People Magazine. Investigates. Oh, excellent. Yeah. Didn't you just do a case from that? I'm sorry. I didn't know you were like the people investigates police.

Is that your new favorite show? And it's on Discovery Plus. And you know what? We have an account through the podcast. Mm-hmm. And if you think that I feel guilty about watching my podcast. I don't think you feel guilty. Why would you?

So make the podcast pay for your peacock. Okay, great. I podcast. I don't think you feel guilty. Why would you? So make the podcast pay for you. OK, I will. I will. I'll put my I'm going to put my peacock all over the podcast. Ma'am, please, please. Peacock is my least favorite word. All right. By the way, I think, and this is a bold claim, I think this man I'm about to tell you about today is one of the biggest douchebags we have ever covered on this podcast. I am serious, Brandi. Don't give me that face. Not a chance.

How about you listen to the... Okay, no, uh-uh. War Machine, biggest douchebag we've ever covered on this podcast. All right, let's see, shall we? All right. Brace yourself. The Village Voice once called this man, quote, indisputably Philadelphia's head hippie.

Oh. Also, Philly's number one freak. Number one's Donna. Well, he's number one freak. Yeah, number one freak. What's he doing? You're about to find out. Okay. Is he a super freak? Super the number one freak. Yeah, number one freak. What's he doing? You're about to find out. Okay.

Is he a super freak? Super freak? Super freak. Get a load of this. His name was Ira Einhorn. Ira. Stop it. Ira.

Shut up. The totally normal name. Everybody's heard of it. It's on the show Mad About You. Everybody, let's all take a moment to remember the time when Brandy, who has never left Johnson County, Kansas, was like, Ira. No, what I said is I remember his name is Ira because it's an unusual name. And you said it's not an unusual name at all. It's a very common name.

Anyway, his real name doesn't matter because he gave himself a nickname. And I think you'll find it really cool. Also, I think I later learned that David was almost named Ira. Yeah, it's a super common name. And he's from Missouri. Right. Yeah, so Johnson County. I don't know, man.

Ready for his nickname that he gave himself? Is it the unicorn? Sure is. Why? Well, because Einhorn in German means one horn. So it really just makes sense to refer to this man as the unicorn. All right. So, My Little Pony was born in 1940.

I don't think he'd appreciate that, Kristen. And as he would be the first to tell you, he was smart. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, and he came of age at an interesting time in American history. What was happening? 58. Twas the 60s, Brandy. I in American history. What was happening? 58. Twas the 60s, Brandy. I mean, I thought he was born in 1940. Well, yeah, coming of age, like, give it a couple years.

There's a range there. My God. Excuse me. Jesus. Wild shit twas happening. The civil rights movement, the women's rights movement, free love, bell bottoms, patchouli oil as far as the nose could smell. Young Ira embraced counterculture. He cared deeply about the environment.

He dabbled in psychedelic drugs. Ooh, is he taking some LSD? He was taking everything. Oh, okay. He was anti-establishment, anti-war. He looked the part. He had a gigantic bushy beard. He had long.

What about a bush? Did he have a bush? I'm sure he did. I mean, that would be hilarious if he had no grooming, but like very well-maintained pubes. That would be. He had long, wild hair. He had piercing blue eyes. And he smelled the part.

Smell like B.O.? One of his friends later said that he always smelled like a hoagie. Like a real oniony hoagie. Gross. Yeah. Sounds disgusting. It does. Ira read one book a day because he's much smarter than you.

And he's also very charming. He was well-connected. He was an activist. He had a ton of rich, powerful friends. What part of the country was he living in? Philly. He was Philly's number one freak. Oh, that's right.

I was just saying, if he was on the West Coast, this guy would love Charles Manson. Yeah. Yeah. Also, you should have known that he was in Philly when his friend said he smelled like a hoagie. Oh, is that a Philly thing? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. You know, I don't know the East Coast, Kristen.

I didn't live in Boston. I'm nothing like you! Yeah, so he had all these rich, powerful friends, which is kind of fun for a guy who was, like, so anti-establishment. Yeah, exactly. That seems kind of odd. Hmm, okay. Oh, well. Iroh loved to debate.

He loved to dominate conversations. He referred to himself as a planetary enzyme. What? As in, he soaked up everything the Earth could offer, and he soaked it up good. Hmm. Did he? Yeah and he soaked it up good. Did he? Yeah, he was a planetary enzyme. Also, he's the unicorn.

Also, he reads one book a day and he's really smart. That's stupid. And he thinks you're beautiful. You stop it. I'm not getting into his cult. He thinks you're beautiful, Brandy. Am I special? Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. He noticed your beautiful mind before he even noticed how beautiful you are physically. All right. Wonderful. Oh, my God. Brandy's creaming her jeans right now. Take me, unicorn. Unicorn, take me away. Was that supposed to be cowboy take me away?

Yeah. Your own special Take Me Away? Yeah. Your own special take on it? Yeah. That was beautiful. Thank you. I can see the music video right now. It's you in the sky. That's right.

He barely slept. There was too much to think about, too much to discuss. Is that a UFO? You bet your ass it is. Okay. He taught English at Temple University. He taught an alternative education class at Penn. And, you know, naturally, as this happens, obviously, during one class, he brought in some weed for everybody, stripped naked and danced.

I don't think that happens regularly. It should happen never, I would say. Yes, absolutely. He got a teaching fellowship at Harvard. In 1970, he founded Earth Day. He did? You're welcome. Founded Earth Day. Just a planetary enzyme doing his part. Yeah, so he founded Earth Day, or so he said. Did he make that up?

It's really about what you want to believe about yourself, Brandy. See, it was his idea. And those fuckers at Greenpeace. He's been ruminating on it for years. Infuriatingly, a lot of media outlets continue to report to this day that he founded Earth Day. Oh, wow. The truth is that on the very first Earth Day in 1970, Ira did stand on a stage in front of thousands of people and he gave a 30 minute long speech. And there's a picture of him. I mean, it's pretty incredible.

Yeah. But if you talk to the organizers of Earth Day, you'll hear that Ira didn't do shit. He didn't show up for meetings, didn't lift a finger. The only reason they involved him at all was because he was well connected and he knew Allen Ginsberg. And they wanted Allen Ginsberg to speak at the event so they let Ira come on stage. Like, hey, you can introduce Allen. You amp up the crowd a little.

You bring Allen on. Not even amp up the crowd. It was like introduce Allen. You've got three sentences. And instead what happened was he got a hold of the mic. And he wouldn't give it back. And really enjoyed himself. Yep.

Yeah, so he rambled incoherently for like 30 minutes up there. And afterward took credit for the whole worldwide event. Cool. Confidence is an amazing thing. That is. What's that like? I invented Arbor Day. Ira was a nice guy.

He loved peace. He deplored violence. And he loved women. He loved women so much. he's just constantly banging ladies yeah and like you know he respected women because his mom was a woman what hate it that's what they say and i love it when they say it hate it so much my mom's a woman yeah therefore i'm kind of an expert here's the thing though um one time a woman was trying to break up with him she had no business trying to break up with him if you ask me right well who would who would ever break up with this guy he's a fucking unicorn the fucking

unicorn anyway so he strangled her until she lost consciousness. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, just a real peace-loving dude. Yeah. Another time, another woman was trying to break up with him, and he hit her over the head with a Coke bottle, and he choked her, too. Oh. So what you're saying is this was kind of like a pattern of behavior with him.

Super nice guy, though. Wonderful guy. The nicest guy. The best. Okay? You know, it's to the point that I'm like, who even cares? Right? And also, I just want to say this. Don't worry.

It was a different time back then. It was the 60s. And he eventually realized that he should stop doing that. Stop strangling women? I just want to say this. Don't worry. It was a different time back then. It was the 60s. And he eventually realized that he should stop doing that. Stop strangling women? Yeah, he realized he should stop. When did he realize that? You know, sometime before 1972.

Okay, what happened in 1972? Well, I'm glad you asked. In 1972, he was hanging out at his favorite bistro, which has since closed. I did look it up. Two, he was hanging out at his favorite bistro, which has since closed. I did look it up. By the way, he had a nickname at that bistro, and it was the Freeloader, because he would go and eat a bunch of shit and never pay. Not pay for it? Yeah, other people would pay because he was so charming.

It wasn't the unicorn? Weird. Yeah, weird. He specifically asked to be called the unicorn, and instead they called him the Freeloader. Huh, interesting. So while he was there, he spotted a young woman. She was gorgeous. What's wrong, Brandy?

Nothing. Okay, you look... No, I'm listening. I'm intently listening. All right, you look constipated. No, how dare you? This is my concentration phase. I apologize.

But if a turd slips out, I'm going to feel really vindicated. No, if I'm constipated, no turds are slipping out. But you're constipated, so you're making the concentration poop face. Oh, you think I'm pushing right now? You look like maybe you were pushing. This is disgusting. This is disgusting. Why'd you bring this up?

I didn't. Anyway, so he spots this gorgeous woman, and she's reading a book, and he came up to her, and he looked at the book and said, Oh, you must have a beautiful mind. No, gross. No. She's like, well, yes, I do, and no one's ever noticed it before. Well, here's the thing. So the two got to talking, and the young woman was instantly charmed.

Her name was Holly Maddox, and she really did have a beautiful mind. And here was this man who seemed to recognize that she wasn't just a pretty face. Holly had grown up in Tyler, Texas. She was the oldest of five kids. She had three sisters, one brother, and her parents, Elizabeth and Fred, were unsurprisingly very conservative. Fred had served in World War II, and they ran a very traditional household. But Holly wanted something a little different for herself. So when she graduated high school, she left Tyler, Texas to attend Bryn Mawr College

in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. That is an elite women's college, but it's not better than Simmons. Okay, calm down. It's not. Okay. Simmons was asked to be part of the Seven Sister Colleges, and we said no. I don't think that's true. And so Bryn Mawr slipped in. Oh, okay.

It seems that Holly suffered from a bit of culture shock when she went away to college. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, she's way far from home. It's much more liberal. It's a very fast-paced environment. Also, it's going away to college. Like, there's just a culture shock in general.

But, you know, she graduated. And afterward, like a lot of people that age, she was kind of trying to figure out her next steps. And then she met Ira. And he was wonderful. They started dating almost immediately. At first, things were great. Ira was so interesting, so passionate, so attentive, so wonderful. He invented Earth Day. Oh, and can you only imagine? That's the lie we know about. What else was that? He also believed in mind control. Obviously, because he's a, what is he? He's a planetary enzyme.

Mm-hmm. After a while, he became abusive. Mm-hmm. Which is weird because he totally kicked the habit. Yeah, he learned from his previous strangulations. Yeah. He treated Holly like shit. He cheated on her constantly and he didn't

even try to hide it. At one point they were at a party together and he went up to some of their friends and he was like, hey, can you guys take Holly home tonight? I can't. I'm going to go home with someone else. And Holly just sat there silently. Yeah. That sucks.

Friends noticed bruises on Holly. It was bad. To complicate things, Holly and Ira had moved in together. And the fact that Holly lived with Ira caused a lot of friction between Holly and her parents. The idea of an unmarried couple living together did not fly with them. And on top of that, they'd met Ira and they could not fucking stand him. So Ira and Holly had visited Texas. And the whole time, Ira behaved like an absolute ass. First of all, he smelled like shit. So the family was like, what the hell is going on with this guy?

He was very disrespectful to their beliefs. So, you know, every time they had a meal, they would pray and he would just loudly scratch himself. Where? Okay, apparently he had like open poison ivy sores. I don't know. On his anus? We have no way of knowing. But it is what i wish upon him

also it was evidently very unpleasant to watch him eat why what would he do okay so here's the thing you know i read a lot of articles about this guy and two of them mentioned how disgusting it was to watch this guy eat. And I'm thinking, how gross do you have to be at a dinner table for, like, multiple people to notice it? Yeah. And, like, have it be written about you? Yeah. I guess he just really shoved it in. Holly's family didn't like the way...

That's what she said. Okay. Great. Holly's family didn't like the way he talked down to her. And if Ira's goal was to drive a wedge between Holly and her father... Call him the ultimate wedgie. That was so stupid.

But yes. Call him the unicorn. Call him the freeloader, call him the ultimate wedgie, whatever you want. Eventually, Holly and her father stopped speaking. She still kept in touch with her mother, though. They wrote letters back and forth. And Holly and Ira dated for about five years. Really? Yeah. Oof.. Really? Yeah. Oof.

Poor Holly. Yeah. Age gap. Mm-hmm. I mean, if you couldn't guess. Yeah. And as it is with almost all abusive relationships, she attempted to leave many times.

But there's a reason why people leave and return to abusive relationships. Sometimes it feels safer to stay. I'm very sorry, that burp is going to stink. Great, thank you. But by the fall of 1977, it seems that Holly was done with Ira for good. She dumped him. She left the apartment they shared. She went to stay at a friend's beach house on Fire Island, which sounds fucking cool.

Sounds awesome. And while she was there, she met a new guy. His name was Saul Lapidus. L-A-P-I-D-U-S. Lapidus? Sure. Anyway, Holly and Saul spent several weeks together hanging out on Fire Island. Saul and Saul.

Oh, that's cute, isn't it? That is cute. At one point, they were at Saul's apartment and they started planning a trip together. I guess he had a sailboat, like a 26-foot-long sailboat, and they were planning to go out for two weeks on, like, this romantic trip. I have to tell you a funny story about sailboats. What? Okay, David and I were recently in Key West for our honeymoon, right? Mm-hmm.

And we were staying at this, like, hotel that had this little, like, it was a very nice hotel. It had this little private beach area. So we're, like, on the beach one afternoon. It's like Ramada. Yeah, we're on the beach one afternoon. And David and I are just, like, commenting on the boats that are going by. Very nice. Some sailboats, like some yachty type things, like, you know, whatever.

We are not boat people. We're commenting on the boats. This guy comes over. He would heard us commenting on the boats. And he had sailed there. And he was telling us commenting on the boats and he had sailed there and he was telling us all about his sailboat and like in detail about way more than you want. Yes. And so we're just like, and it took him way too long to, to determine, uh, to come to

the realization that we were not sailboat people. And he was finally like, you guys have a nice afternoon. And then he just like wandered off. You know what his problem was? What? He'd been alone on that sailboat for too long. You're right. You're probably right.

Yeah, he was like telling us about having to swing the something around. And, you know, the hardest part about getting in is that you got to get past the reef. And like, you know, it's easier. Best way to do it is to come on over from Texas. Fuck, I don't know, the hardest part about getting in is you got to get past the reef and, like, you know, it's easier. Best way to do it is to come on over from Texas. Fuck, I don't know, man. You were like, sure. Yeah, absolutely. David and I kept, like, just, like, side-eyeing each other.

How long did this last? Several minutes. That sounds terrible. Several minutes. That sounds terrible. Yeah, that dude hadn't spoken to intelligent life in a long time. And also he did this super douchey thing in the middle of it where they had beach servers. They would come up and be like, can I get you a drink, whatever. And he snapped the server over and he said, they're making me a burger at the bar.

And the server goes, okay, sir, you'll just have to go to the bar to get that. Yeah. Like he wanted him to bring him the burger. Yeah, that server did you all a huge favor. Absolutely. That was a rescue mission.

It was. They're making me a burger at the bar. Yeah, uh-huh. What was it, up a mountain he couldn't possibly climb? Okay, anyway, he can. Yeah. Anyway, back to Solon Hall. So they were planning this trip, and the phone rang.

It was Ira, and he was irate. Mm-hmm. That's his irate. Mm-hmm. That's his full name. She's shaking the whole damn table. Laughing at her own joy. Wouldn't it have been weird if David was named irate? Would be. He demanded to speak to Holly.

I rate him a 10. Okay. Jesus Christ, superstar. We're going to go on another break. Starting immediately. Two months this time. Get me away from this woman. He'd found out about Holly's new romance and he was just enraged.

Yeah. He told Holly, I'm going to throw everything you own out on the street. Everything. Wonderful. Your bank records, your clothes, your driver's license. It's all going out the window. Unless you get back here. Holly was annoyed.

She got off the phone with Ira, and she turned to Saul, and she was like, Hey, Ira's in one of his moods. I'm going to go back there and calm him down. Saul asked if she wanted him to come with her, and she said, no, I can handle it. This has happened before. So Holly left. And she was never seen or heard from again. Wow.

Wow. So that was September of 1977. And Holly's family grew concerned pretty quickly. Her mom's birthday came and went and Holly didn't write, didn't call, didn't send anything. And that was just weird. Other people were concerned about Holly's whereabouts as well. And Ira was just as confused as everybody else. Sure he was.

Well, yeah. I mean, the last time he saw her, she was headed out to the local co-op to get some tofu and sprouts. Weird. Yeah. Where could she have gone? Who knows? Nobody knows. Ira knows.

No. Yeah. Maybe you should look into the people at the co-op. Is that what he said? Well, you might as well because she went to the co-op. Is that what he said? Well, you might as well, because she went to the co-op, okay? Okay. Anyway, with Holly, you know, somewhere, Ira flourished. He spent a semester at the Institute of Politics at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. But Holly's family wasn't just going to sit around. This guy for sure sniffed his own farts.

Oh, my God. Yes. So they contacted the police. They explained that their daughter was missing. They were worried about her safety. And the police weren't a whole lot of help. Holly was a 30-year-old woman. Maybe she was just off being an adult, you know,

not checking in with her family as often as they might like. The police did go to Ira's place and have a little casual chat. And he told them that, you know, maybe Holly went off to India. Why? You know, go live on a commune. Go, you know, she's a free spirit. Why India? Why not India?

And I mean, that seemed possible. So case closed. Dunzo. That's it? That's it. Oh, good. Join us next week. No!

Months went by. Then a year. Holly's family heard nothing from her. So they hired this retired FBI agent turned private investigator who was living in Tyler, Texas, and asked him to look into Holly's disappearance. The PI teamed up with another guy in Philly and they got to work. And it really didn't take much digging at all to figure out that something had happened to Holly and that Ira probably slash definitely had something to do with it. Yeah.

Okay, so Ira lived on the second floor of an apartment complex. So the investigators— How many floors were there total? I think three. Alright. I can't promise. Why? I don't know. That is such a brandy move to be like, I want more. I'm very

curious. I'm trying to get a mental image here. It was a pretty old building, mostly inhabited by college students. Okay. Does that help? It does. All right. It does.

So the investigators went and talked to Ira's neighbors. And yikes, the guy who rented the apartment below Ira had some very interesting information. I hear a bunch of thudding and yelling. Great. Yeah, he'd regularly heard Ira and Holly fighting, and he specifically remembered hearing screaming and loud thuds in September of 1977. And then, a few days later, a dark brown liquid began oozing out of the ceiling. Oh my gosh!

The liquid stained the ceiling and it got bigger and bigger and it smelled horrific. All the other neighbors were smelling that and wondering what was going on. This man and his roommate tried to clean the stain, but it was impossible. I'm sorry, they didn't get to the source of the stain? Did they go upstairs, knock on Ira's door, say, hey, do you have a dead body laying in here, bleeding through the floor into my apartment? Could you keep your pants on okay great okay so they called the landlord and the landlord came and looked at the stain

and was like oh my god you know like maybe it's a plumbing issue so the landlord called a plumber and the plumber showed up at ira's apartment to fix the issue but ira didn't want him to come in yeah weird because he had murdered holly in there so yeah i mean based on the location of the stain on the first floor ceiling it was clear that in order to fix this problem the plumber would need access to ira's bedroom closet but ira had a padlock on his bedroom closet. Yeah. And he refused to unlock it. So they were just like, okay, cool, thanks, bye. Uh-huh.

Right? What the hell? What? What the hell? So the investigators took all this information and wrote up a report and handed it to the local police like, hey, we solved your case for you. Might want to check that closet. And so a year and a half after Holly disappeared, police showed up at Ira's apartment with a search warrant. Not a moment too soon.

Right? Ira was remarkably calm. He had nothing to hide. Well, he'd probably gotten rid of it by then. They went to that bedroom closet, and a detective turned to Ira and gestured to the padlock and was like, You got a key for that? And Ira said no. Oh, well, good.

I just happened to bring some big-ass bolt cutters. Yep. Move the fuck out of the way, Ira. That's exactly what happened. Okay. And as they opened the door, they were hit with the stench of decay. Mm-hmm. But they didn't see anything sinister.

The closet was filled with boxes, like floor-to-ceiling boxes. They took the boxes out one by one. They found Holly's purse. They found her ID. Ira stood there the whole time. And when they cleared out all the boxes, all they were left with was a steamer trunk. The detective opened it. It was stuffed with newspapers from September of 1977, right around the time

a year and a half earlier when she'd gone missing. He pulled back some of the paper and saw a human hand. Holly's body was in that trunk. An autopsy would later reveal that she'd been hit over the head with a blunt object. Her skull had been fractured in at least six places. Oh my gosh. After discovering her body, the detective turned to Ira, who'd again been standing there this whole time. And the detective said, looks like we found Holly. And Ira said, you found what you found.

What? The fuck does that mean? Right? You found what you found? They open up a trunk that has a dead body in it in your bedroom. You found what you found.

Oh my gosh. This guy thinks he's smarter than everyone and he's gonna get out of this yeah so i mean this was obviously horrible but at least it was an open and shut case ira einhorn who had a history of violence against women had murdered his ex-girlfriend his her body was in his steamer trunk in closet, just a few feet from where he slept. But Ira's high-powered friends couldn't believe that he'd done this. They're going to get him the best defense attorney. Yeah. They're going to call jungle law for him.

Is jungle Law nationwide? I don't know. Well, if it's not, everyone, there's a law firm in Kansas City that has the douchiest billboards you ever did see. Yeah, so they couldn't believe he'd done this. And he told them they were right not to believe it because he was being framed. He knew too much. It made him dangerous. Okay.

It did, Brandy. He had been doing research into the government's knowledge of extraterrestrials. What? Yes. I did not see it going there. Yeah. So the government knew all this stuff about aliens. And he knew what the government knew.

But they didn't want him to be telling people all about it. Right. So they killed Holly and hid her in his closet. Right. Why not kill him right and also um then why wasn't he shocked when the police found her in there instead of just calmly being like you found what you found maybe he knew that he was into some deep shit, Brandy. Also, maybe it's wrong of me to assume that this was about the alien stuff. Because also, he knew about a bunch of top secret weapons stuff. Oh, cool. You wouldn't understand.

No. Also, he knew about a bunch of Russian shit. Obviously. Iron curtain parted. I like iron carton curtain parted just i like iron carton better like i'm picturing like a carton of virginia sleds and ira knew all about it also um you know there are all kinds of global conspiracies and he knew about all of them yeah because he's the unifucking corn. Just niblets of corn.

Yep. So in an effort to discredit him, they'd murdered his ex-girlfriend, put her body in his bedroom closet, and they'd locked the door. Okay. put her body in his bedroom closet and they'd lock the door okay and he knew all along that this wasn't coming which is why he wasn't shocked one bit because you know you gotta the government just does whatever they want this is ridiculous the annoying thing is the government does do some terrible things. Yeah, of course they do. But, wow, I don't think they did this, my dude. I don't think so. Anyway, whodunit, Brandi. Who knows? No.

Maybe it was the CIA. Maybe it was the KGB. I have an idea. Maybe it was a Pillsbury Doughboy. We have no way of knowing. I think it was Ira. We know it wasn't Ira. No, it was a Pillsbury Doughboy. We have no way of knowing. I think it was Ira. We know it wasn't Ira. No, it was not Ira.

Ira hired a big shot attorney. Who called that? Arlen Specter. Does that sound familiar at all? Yes. Yeah, so this dude was a huge deal. He'd been the DA of Philadelphia for a long time, and he went on to become a senator for like 30 years. And Arlen did a great job.

Normally, when someone is charged with first degree murder, you know, particularly when they're a very clear flight risk, you wouldn't even really talk about the possibility of bail. It'd be fucking nuts. Yeah, I know he got it. Yeah, Ira was special. Uh-huh. He was a unicorn. He was a unicorn.

He was a unicorn. So he got a hearing to discuss the issue, and at that hearing, a ton of important, well-connected people took the stand to sing Ira's praises. He was just a totally nonviolent, peace-loving sweetheart. Definitely not a murderer. I have to confess something. What do you have to confess? Okay. What do you have to confess? Okay. What's wrong?

It's my turn to be vulnerable on this podcast. Oh, my goodness. Okay. I have really been trying in recent months to focus on believing in myself and having a better self-image and all of these things. And so when I am not feeling real confident in that, I have been telling myself. Oh, no. What have you been telling? Have you been telling yourself you're a unicorn?

Yes. Oh, no. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Ruin that. Yep. You know what, though? Maybe you should...

Oh, gosh. Sad thing is, unicorns are cool and magical. I'm just douchey, Ira. Don't let Ira ruin it. Take the unicorn back. Oh, no. So basically, right from the jump, you've been like, uh-oh. Yeah.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I'm very happy you've been working on that. Thank you. How's it going? It's going pretty good. Yeah? Yeah. Thank you. How's it going? It's going pretty good. Yeah? Yeah. Until now.

We'll know you've gone too far when you start claiming you invented things you didn't. I invented post-its. Nobody really uses those that much anymore so maybe you should think of something like a little bigger. Did you invent the internet, maybe? Ooh, no, that was Al Gore. Actually, it was Ira. Does he say he invented the internet? Just the information super highway.

We'll get to it, what he says. But, you know, he's very influential. Great. So at this hearing, says. But, you know, he's very influential. Great. So at this hearing, a minister testified, an economist, some professors, an executive, a playwright, another lawyer. All these important people all standing up and saying, no, this guy's great. This guy's great. Oh, Lord. The prosecution was like, are you fucking nuts nuts yeah holly's body was in his

apartment yeah the truth was there for like anyone who wanted to hear it uh-huh two of ira's ex girlfriends came forward to say that he'd attacked them when they tried to break up with yeah two people also came forward and said that ira had tried to get them to help him move that steamer trunk out of his apartment. Oh, weird. Yeah. Did he? Okay, hold on, though. Okay.

Was he like, hey, there's this steamer trunk that mysteriously showed up in my apartment. I think I'm into, like, some deep government shit. I need you to help me get rid of this because like UFOs and... Brandy, that is not bad. That's really not bad. Do you want me to tell you what he told them? Yeah. Okay. He told... Now, I don't know what he told the first person, but he told the second person that he had all these top secret Russian documents that he wasn't supposed to have.

And people were after him. And so he needed help getting this trunk of documents out to the river. And they just tossed that thing into the river so he could be safe. So she's like, absolutely, I will help you with this. She goes to his apartment and she smells. Yeah, and she's like, no, there's a fucking dead body she smells yeah and she's like no there's a fucking and she's like goodbye oh my gosh uh-huh but no he was great he was a great guy a fucking dolly and like wheel that thing out on his own i don't know i do not know okay Okay. But I mean, he got away with this for like a year and a half, so.

Yeah. Also, Ira's apartment contained 63 notebooks filled with his ramblings. He'd written things like. Ramblings? Yeah. What? You mean genius thoughts? I'm sorry.

Notes of a genius. For example, he wrote things like, To beat a woman. What joy. What? Yeah. Yeah. Also, the violence that flowed through my being tonight

could result in the murder of that which I seem to love so deeply. He's like a slam poet. What's that stinky cheese? Oh, no, that's just Ira. Oh, gosh. The judge was quite moved by the defense's parade of witnesses and set bail at forty thousand dollars yeah it was an astonishingly low sum considering this dude was facing the death penalty oh my gosh yeah so he got out of jail for four thousand dollars and of course he didn't pay it no um his high-powered

buddy paid it. Would you like to know who paid it? Of course I would. He was good friends with this woman named Barbara Bronfman. Oh, Bronfman? Bronfman. B-R-A-U-N-F-M-A-N? B-R-O-N-F-M-A-N.

Okay, that was close. Barbara had money. You ever heard of Seagram Distillery? Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. She married into that family. Oh, okay. So she sure did have money.

Okay. Sure did. Sure did have some money. So she was up in Kanata, you know, living off that sweet Seagram's money. Yeah. And she posted Ira's bail. And then in January of 1981, hold on to your hat. It was time for his trial to begin. And this is going to shock you.

Oh, my goodness. He didn't show up. Holy shit. Who could have seen that coming? No one. No one. It was almost as if he should have never been allowed. Yeah, almost.

It's almost like that. Almost. Almost. Months passed. He was nowhere to be found. Great. How long was he on the run for? Oh, you're going to hate it.

Okay. Holly's family was devastated. Of course. Yeah. But in a very weird twist. And I mean, this is so strange. So this guy named Dennis, who was a professor, Dennis Weir. Weir.

Weir. Was a professor at Trinity College in Dublin. And he came to Chicago to visit some friends. This was just like a couple months after Ira, you know, fled. This was just like a couple months after Ira, you know, fled. And he was hanging out with his friends and he was entertaining them with some quirky stories about this guy who was renting an apartment from him back in Dublin. And the guy was named Ira Einhorn. He didn't even go by a fake name? Can you believe that?

Oh, my gosh. I don't think he was such a genius. Anyway, this was obviously way before the days of Google. But his Chicago friends were like, hold on. That name sounds familiar and not in a good way. So they called up the local newspaper and they were like, hey, why is this name ringing bells for us? And the person who answered the phone was like, holy shit, that's the guy who's on the run. us. And the person who answered the phone was like, holy shit, that's the guy who's on the run. So they

told the police, but at that time, Ireland didn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S. So Which is why Ira went there and didn't need to go by a fake name. Right. Awesome. So

Because he could just be like, nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo here i am yeah corning it up yep great so eventually dennis went back home and he evicted ira um because i guess that was like the most he could do there's your consequences yeah imagine having to have, that's terrifying. And then, of course, Ira vanished. Over the years, people said they spotted him in a few different places, mostly in the UK. But investigators never caught him in time.

Four years passed. Wow. And once again, freaking Dennis crossed paths with Ira. I know! What the hell? What? Dennis was walking through the cafeteria at Trinity College, and he spotted Ira Einhorn. He stopped cold.

He was like, Ira. And Ira said, huh? What? No, you must be mistaken. My name is Ben Moore. Toodles! Benjamin Moore, perhaps you like my paint? Yep, that was me.

You're welcome. I invented paint shortly after I invented Earth Day. Dennis ran to the phone, called the police, because at this point, Ireland had an extradition treaty with the United States. That's why he had to change his name. Right.

But, you know, by the time the police got there, Ira was long gone. Great. You know, I was thinking, what are the chances? But I guess it's not super surprising that a big, creepy weirdo would hang out at college campuses. Yeah, no, that's not by accident.

And he can tell the young, hot college girls how beautiful their minds are. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Nice. Yeah. When they're really super vulnerable and you're a big creepy manipulator okay we love

it anyway so ira was long gone and he stayed gone it was easy ira was still very well connected his friends had tons of money and they were generous with it. They were sending him money? Absolutely. Why wouldn't you? Because he's a fugitive. Right. He's also a for sure murderer. Yeah. Courtney Love's dad gave him money. What?

Yeah. Peter Gabriel hung out with him. Oh, no shit. Did he give Ira money? Peter says no. I say blow it out your ass. Yeah. Climbing up on Salisbury no. I say blow it out your ass. Yeah. Climbing up on Salisbury Hill.

I don't know much Peter Gabriel stuff. Funny story about that. One time I had this project. I believe it was senior year for sociology. Okay. I had to do a parental interview. Remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of the questions was, what's their favorite song? So I interviewed my dad. And my dad said, Salisbury Hill, Peter Gabriel. And I said, are you kidding me? And he said, what? I said, I'm named after a song and it's not even your fucking favorite song. You know what my dad said? Huh?

Well, I wasn't going to name you Salisbury. favorite song you know what my dad said huh well i wasn't gonna name you salisbury that's great and did you say thank you i did yeah i remember that teacher so like the last question on that survey you could the question was something like is there something that you haven't told me that you think i should know and mr johnson was like after we alternated it was like huh you didn't have to fill out that last part but i sure enjoyed learning some wild stuff about your families. It's like, yeah, right. You wanted to know that shit. You wanted to know.

Yeah. Okay. Where was I? Peter Gabriel. Peter Gabriel. Man, who knew your dad was such a big Peter Gabriel fan? I know. I do like Peter Gabriel.

Do you still like him? I do. Well, I mean, okay, not this part. I like his music, ma'am. All right. Bet you just love Michael Jackson, too. Okay, let's calm down. You're listening to R. Kelly, are you?

I was going to say, if you like. Jamming out. For the listeners. Trapped in the closet. If you like Peter Gabriel. You'll love. Make sure you check out Francis and the Lights. It sounds just like Peter Gabriel. You'll love. Make sure you check out Francis and the Lights. Sounds just like Peter Gabriel.

So good. Did Francis help? I don't believe so. In any way. I mean, that's what Peter said, too. So we have no way of knowing. So Holly's family was miserable. Obviously. So Holly's family was miserable, obviously. Their beloved sister and daughter had been brutally murdered,

and her fucking arrogant, stinky murderer was off just having the time of his life in Europe. And just being funded by... Absolutely. That is bananas. Yeah, because the one thing you think about a life on the run is like, well, I mean, it can't be good. Yeah. Oh, on the contrary. He was living the good life.

Yeah. The old unicorn was living it up. In 1988, Holly's dad died by suicide. He'd been struggling with a long illness and, of course, depression. depression. That same year, a journalist named Stephen Levy wrote a book about Ira titled The Unicorn Secret, colon, A Murder in the Age of Aquarius. Oh, it's the dawning. Of the age of Aquarius, age of Aquarius, Aquarius! Aquarius Aquarius What did you enjoy more?

When we sang Aquarius to you or when I talked about cunts? That should be the Facebook poll Maybe this is when I talk about my pap this morning So, Barbara Bronfman, the woman who'd paid Ira's bail and, oh, shocking, had been continuing to funnel money to him for years now. Yeah, great. Decided to read that book because she wanted to know what people were saying about her dear friend. Mm-hmm. And when she read it, she like oh shit oh really yeah i imagine

if you've fallen under the spell of this bullshitter yeah i don't know maybe you haven't looked at the evidence i mean because this is so yeah how much more clear-cut can a case be? Yeah, absolutely. Although the CIA did not want you to know about all his alien knowledge. That's right. So the lead detective on this case had been trying to get Barbara to give up information about Ira for years, and she'd always refused. But after reading that book, she finally gave in. She told the detective to find a woman in Sweden named Anika Floden.

If he could find Anika Floden, he'd find Ira. Okay, great. By the way, Anika or Anika or whatever the fuck, very beautiful. She came from money. Her parents had evidently owned a very nice fabric shop in Stockholm. Some called it the finest fabric shop. Oh, some did, eh? Some did.

Polyester, as far as I can see. So, yeah, she was definitely Ira's type. Yeah. Investigators tracked her down and she played dumb. She claimed not to know an Ira Einhorn. Did they ask her about Benjamin Moore? Yeah, she knew him. Oh, okay.

But she'd been his landlady, okay? So don't get the wrong idea. And he'd moved out a while ago, so don't worry about it. So the officers left a few years later. They didn't like follow her around for a little bit? Nope. Well, that's really fucking lazy police work. Well, but, you know, he'd been on the run for a while.

This was kind of the way things go. The way fugitive chasing goes. Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do. A few years later, Annika or Anika or whatever the fuck moved away. Okay. In 1990, Holly's mom died of emphysema. More years

passed. And finally, in 1993, the Philadelphia District Attorney, Lynn Abram, was like, we have to do something. She feared that as time passed, they'd lose more key witnesses in this case and the case against him would fall apart. So he would be rewarded even more for having gone on the run. Yeah. So she did something super rare.

She decided to try him in absentia. Oh, calm down. Amazing. I was just looking into a case where they charged someone in absentia. Were you really? Okay, I have never looked into anything like this. I was fascinated. Yeah. Yeah, so it works, I mean, just like an otherwise normal

trial, except it's not fucking normal at all. So you got the prosecution, you got the defense, you got the jury, but there's just an empty chair where the defendant's supposed to be. Ira was represented, I mean, if you can call it that, by defense attorney Norris Gelman, who later said that defending a client without the client actually being present was very, very difficult. I can imagine. And he hoped he never had to do that again. I bet.

I cannot even imagine. So this trial lasted about two weeks. The prosecution brought out the steamer trunk where Holly's body had been left to decompose. They called more than a dozen witnesses who said that Ira had abused Holly. Some of the witnesses testified that Holly had broken up with him shortly before she was killed. broken up with him shortly before she was killed. Other witnesses who had lived in Ira's apartment complex testified to that horrible odor that came out of his apartment in September of 1977. Ira's landlord testified that Ira had asked him to help move that steamer trunk, but he'd said no because he was having back trouble. And so then, I've already told you

this story, but the woman testified about how he'd been like, oh, Russian documents. And she got there and was like, holy fuck, I am not helping with whatever this is. The defense's case was mostly based on some chemical tests. I mean, this was weak as hell, but I mean, what are you going to do? So there had been some chemical tests performed by two crime labs that failed to discern whether human blood was found in the trunk or in the carpet underneath it. So the defense argued that that meant that she'd been killed somewhere else by someone else and placed there. The government did it. Right.

I was telling the truth the entire time. But a chemist for the prosecution testified that once bodily fluids decay, they can break down to the point that they no longer chemically resemble human blood. So that's just not. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So the jury deliberated for all of two hours and they found him guilty. Yeah. He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Great. Now if they could just find him.

Yeah. So the nice thing is if and when they find him, he goes straight to prison. He does not pass go. He does not collect $200. Absolutely. Yeah. And he's forced to play Monopoly for the rest of his life, which is a terrible game. It is a terrible game. Holly's siblings were very happy with the verdict.

One of her sisters, Buffy Hall, said, 16 years ago, we lost our sister Holly. 14 years ago, we lost our faith in the judicial process when Ira Einhorn was released on obscenely low bail. We almost lost hope in ever seeing justice when that allowed him to be able to flee the country. Now, thanks to the efforts of an awful lot of people, our hope and faith have finally been restored. We just wish our parents were alive to see this. For Ira, we say again that we told you we would never forget Holly. I think this verdict definitely sends him a message that his freedom is a very hollow victory. Wow.

She was optimistic that Ira's luck would run out. And part of that optimism came from the fact that no one was there to support him during his trial. Yeah. She said, quote, Yeah. Oh, I'd be such a fucking bitch to all those people. I'd be writing them letters. Absolutely. So, you know, the family gets this small bit of justice. Yeah.

But where the hell was he? Yeah. Where is he? Well. When do they find him? It's going to take more time. Oh, my gosh. America's Most Wanted did an episode about him. So did Unsolved Mysteries.

Unintentional theme. I know. That episode of Unsolved Mysteries actually changed things. Really? Yeah. So a woman watched the episode and was like super upset by it. So she decided to get involved. She called up some of her relatives who just happened to be really high up in the Stockholm police.

She told them the story and they looked up Anika's social security number. So using that information, they discovered that in 1994, she'd applied for a French driver's license, which listed an address in the south of France. She also had a new last name. Is it Moore? No, it's Einhorn. Oh, no, I'm sorry, not Einhorn. Oh, shit.

I'm losing track of all his fake names. Fuck. Mullen? I can't. It's a fake name. It's a fake name. She's got a fake last name. So French police went undercover dressed as tourists and fishermen, and they surveilled the home in the south of France.

It was a really nice place. You'll be happy to know. I know you were worried about him. I was worried about that. They were on acreage. They had a beautiful garden. Okay, sources said that this home was a converted windmill. But I saw footage.

I guess I don't know what a windmill looks like. This did not look like a windmill to me. Unless they did a great job converting it. Yeah. Oh, Mallon was the last name. Did I say Mallon? No. Anyway, the guy.

I believe I said that. I think I did. You did not. Roll the tape. Mullin. I can't. It's a fake name. It's a fake name. She the tape. Mullen. I can't. It's a fake name. It's a fake name.

She got a fake last name. I think I am right. And that's all I need in this life. Because I'm a unicorn. That's right. Anyway, her husband was Eugene Mallon. Oh, okay. A.K.A. Ira Einhorn.

Yeah. A.K.A. the unicorn. A.K.A. this bitch. So Eugene Mallon was living a pretty easy life. He spent most of his time chilling. He read books. Did a little writing. He was in a bridge club.

Oh. He told people he was a British writer. He was living in France just to soak up some inspiration. Finally, after a few weeks of surveillance, police decided to make the arrest. They went to the windmill at 7.30 in the morning, banged on the door. Anika answered. An officer told her, you're living with a dangerous man. And she didn't respond.

They pushed past her, went up the stairs to the bedroom, and found Ira Einhorn laying buck-ass naked in bed. Wonderful. They arrested him. Did they give him a chance to throw on a romper? I sure hope so. A romper?

Well, there's no time to put on, like, separate pieces. This whole time he was like, what is this about? My name is Eugene Mallon. I've never heard of Ira Einhorn. He sounds cool. You should probably call him the unicorn. As it turns out, Ira and Eugene had the same fingerprints. So maybe they probably were the same guy.

Maybe they might have been the same guy. Maybe probably. Maybe. I don't know. So it was time for Ira Einhorn to go back to the United States and get thee to prison. Except he really didn't want to. Well, too fucking bad. He, no, Brandy, he didn't want to.

So he fought extradition? Yeah. How long did that take? Long time. Oh, my gosh. I hate this man. Once again, he got himself a great attorney. He hired a super confident guy named Dominique Tricard.

Sure. Dominique told everyone that he had never lost an extradition case, so... He said, Ira wasn't leaving France. Huh, huh, huh. He would ensure that France would not send Ira back to a country that was so barbaric as to try a man who hadn't been there to defend himself. I know. Here's the thing that I kind of hate about this. I mean, the guy's really douchey about America, but I'm kind of with him a little bit.

But here's the thing. I don't like the trials in absentia. No. But I do totally get that, like, yeah, we've got these witnesses. Yeah. People are dying off. Absolutely. Their memories are getting shakier.

We might have trouble finding them again. Yes. Are we really going to reward this person who fled justice? No, I can see both sides of it. So in France, they have a rule that you can be tried in absentia,

but you can also get a new trial if you want to once you're found. And it comes with cheese. Probably. Also, they do not like the death penalty in France. Well, yeah yeah but they invented the guillotine yeah they used to do that just out on the street not that long ago well i mean the last public beheading yeah it was not that long ago like how long ago i recently saw a picture of it

ew why do you look these things i didn't i was reading an a listicle of sorts it's public execution in france 1939 wow but you know we've had a lot of public hangings here. Well, yeah, absolutely. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. No, you're absolutely right. And, you know, you might argue that the guillotine is a more humane way to do it.

Well, I think you would definitely argue, actually. You would for sure argue that. Okay. Anyway, we suck. By the way, in this French court, Ira spoke up and announced to everyone that he'd invented the internet before the internet existed.

Oh, okay. Great. Which is a, okay. God, fuck. One of these journalists described it described what he'd done. Uh-huh. And gave him too much credit. Yeah.

And called it like a primitive internet of sorts. And it's like, uh-oh, journalist, you have crawled up someone's butthole here. It's a fucking newsletter. Yeah. Is what it is. Yeah. And he did not invent the newsletter. No. Sorry. Yeah. Is what it is. Yeah. And he did not invent the newsletter. No.

Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, he also told everyone that he was totally nonviolent. This was the CIA's fault. And his lawyer was like, please stop fucking. His attorney argued that if Ira was sent back to the United States, he could be executed. And, you know, I believe at the time maybe still france does not send you back more

extra if the death penalty but which again i agree with i agree with yeah yeah he was found guilty was he but he wasn't sentenced no he was sentenced so that became a point of argument was that he had been sentenced to life without the possibility of parole because at that time the death penalty when they did that trial was not on the table so um but france was like well who knows maybe they'll make up some new rule and yeah right which i want to say nah but maybe maybe the french are on to us for sure um anyway oh so i already mentioned this but you know, another factor was that in France they had the rule that you can be tried in absentia, but once you're found, you can get another trial. And the United States was not offering that.

They were like, no, we've done it already. Send them over. Send them over. Let's lock them up. Yeah. So the French court rejected the request for extradition. court rejected the request for extradition. A bunch of members of Congress tried to get the French president to intervene, but the president of France evidently isn't supposed to intervene in extradition, so that was no good. So in 1998, Pennsylvania passed a bill that was nicknamed the

Einhorn Bill, and it allowed anyone who was convicted in absentia. Hint, hint. Anyone. Hint, hint. Anyone. Maybe they're named Ira Einar. Who knows? To request another trial. Uh-huh. So the United States offered that up as sort of like a negotiation tactic. But Ira's French legal team fought that, too. They were like, no way. That law that they just passed is against the U.S. Constitution because they'd seen double jeopardy.

That with Ashley Judd. Yeah, absolutely. It had just been translated to French. Who's to say that? It was called double jeopardy. That is ridiculous. Okay, you've been doing a French accent this whole time and I'm ridiculous? And I've done it perfectly.

So they're like, no, no, no. They created this unconstitutional thing. Yeah. I'm not ridiculous. And I've done it perfectly. So they're like, no, no, no. They created this unconstitutional thing. They're just trying to get them over there. And then they're going to be like, oh, actually, we're not going to do that because it's unconstitutional. And the French court was like, OK, yeah, we hear you. But we're not in a position to determine whether another country's laws are against their own constitution. And yada, yada, yada.

They were like, all right, let's extradite this bitch. And Ira was like, no. So he took his case to the European Court of Human Rights. And they were like, no, you can't. Fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. Go back to America. By the way, this extradition argument lasted four years. Oh, my gosh.

Don't worry. Ira only spent six months of it in prison. Right. The rest of the time, all this whole legal battle was dragging out. He was just chilling at the windmill. Yeah. He did a bunch of TV interviews. He drank wine. He posed naked for photographers in the garden. He did? Unfortunately, yes. Okay, so here's the fucking deal. All right. When Ira was young... When he was young,

when he committed this crime, he was a little stocky. He'd get all hot and thin. Hot is muscly. He was a muscly-armed paper boy. No, calm down. He slimmed down a little bit. He's full of popsicles.

He slimmed down. He got a haircut. And so kind of some of the first media reaction was like, oh, my gosh, look how different he looks from his. Hot, translation hot. He had a bit of a glow up, okay? The first media reaction was like, oh, my gosh, look how different he looks from his. Hot. Translation hot. He had a bit of a glow up. OK. And he was loving himself.

So he's just gardening naked. Just two hoes in the garden. He like he did this interview where he was like, I haven't touched sugar in 15 years. That sounds terrible. But then later they went to dinner at this really nice place and Ira obviously wasn't buying. So he ordered literally everything, including like the whole dessert cart. So fuck off. Tell me you haven't touched sugar in 15 years. Also, if you want to know the secret to Ira's hot bod, here it is.

Anytime he gets upset, he just goes out and gardens. Oh, yeah. That's how he's got that healthy glow. Just get out there and garden. Just garden. Do something physical. Once a day. That's all I say.

And don't touch sugar ever. Ever. Yeah. Also, if you want to get your rage out, just murder somebody. Just murder your girlfriend. Yeah. Ex-girlfriend. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Are you inspired? No. By his health tips? I'm not. I was. I went out naked to the group. Now I'm covered head to toe in poison ivy.

But I feel great. Now I'm covered head to toe in poison ivy. But I feel great. He did an interview with Connie Chung. And he got super mad at her because she asked him repeatedly about whether he'd killed Holly. And he found that very rude. What did he think she was going to ask him? Exactly. Exactly.

This fucking guy. Did they do a paternity test? to find out if he was 100% that bitch no it was just because he's connie chung's maury povich's wife oh i what a pair isn't that interesting Anyway, he agreed to do an interview with a reporter from Esquire, and the article is nuts. Yeah. And I realize now that that's hilarious I said it, because that's the article where he posed naked, and I said nuts. Oh, you said nuts. Showed his nuts.

Did you see his nuts? No, I actually did not, and I'm fine with that. Although now I'm curious. Hang on, I'm going to— You're going to see his nuts? Yeah, let me see. Ira Einhorn. Surely if I do just an image search, I'm going to see that dude's frickin' dong.

His whole dong. Hmm. Oh god. Oh my god. Let me see that dong. Are you seeing this? No, I didn't look it up. Oh no. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Let's see. Did you just do an image search?

I'm afraid I did. And there's dongs? Well, I'm getting real far away. Oh! I see he's crawling through the garden here. Yeah. Is that what we're looking for? Oh, there is some dog there.

I think there is some slight peen. Definitely some peen there. You have to squint. You don't have to squint to see those nuts. Really? I'm pretty sure that's nuts right there. Okay, that's enough. There we go.

Oh, boy. Crawling through the garden naked. Can you imagine? Okay. Well. Oh. Oh. What?

This article refers to him as the co-founder of Earth Day. Yeah. No. He did nothing. Okay. So France is like, peace, you know, get back to the United States. Oh, we're not quite there yet. I know you want some justice, but I'm sorry.

This train is moving slowly. So in that interview with Esquire where he posed naked and it's horrifying, you should all look it up. It's disgusting. I'm still looking at it. You're still looking? Close that tab. I don't want you distracted by his pain.

Pain? It's pain for days. He told the reporter, What I am being accused of is having lived with 60s women and not living with them in a 90s way. Ballsy woman. What? No, you're being accused of murder. Yeah.

Ballsy women wouldn't settle down with a male like me. I had to kick the women I was living with in the ass practically to get them to open their mouths. Oh my gosh. He told a reporter that he loves women. He said, if women are present, it's amazing. It's an amazing hit. I'm not threatened by that at all. I used to call Anika a slave all the time, but she became strong-willed because she realizes it's the only way to deal with my bull. Isn't that sweet? No. Yeah, so she stood by him and he really appreciated that.

As these legal battles went on, Holly's siblings sued Ira for wrongful death. A jury sided with them, obviously, and awarded them $907 million. Well, he doesn't have that. Okay, that's, so that's another thing. First of all, when Ira was notified of this, he cackled

and he and Anika were, like, drinking and laughing about that. Um, and part of it was, was like he has no money. Yeah. So but also isn't the idea behind that that he can't then profit off his story like. Yeah. Yeah.

Which that's a very good thing because you know he would. Oh absolutely. He posed naked for Esquire. God. One of the many things I can't fucking stand about this guy is like he brags about like, yeah, you know, I'm still still the hippie I once was. I don't own a car. I don't have any money. I don't have identification papers. And it's like, OK, first of all, he said this while he was in a car. So he's borrowing. He's in someone else's car. You're still using these resources.

Also, you don't have money, but you're living off of other people's money. So you're not really... And you don't have papers because you're a fucking fugitive. Yes. Oh, Lord. No, he's a, what is it? He's a planetary enzyme, Kristen. He's just living off the earth.

Sucking. You ready for this to come to a close? Yeah, what happens? All right, so. I wish he would put on some clothes. So Ira officially lost his extradition battles, and it was clear he was headed back to the United States. Or was he? No, he was.

Okay, great. What happens? He slid his throat. You're kidding me. Slid his throat. Did he die? Nope. He survived. He's fucking fine.

And he did interviews with this, like, didn't even bandage it. He had this gaping hole to let everyone know, like, this is what happened to me. Anyway, you know. Yeah. me anyway you know yeah finally on july 20th 2001 after 17 years living it up in europe he was extradited to the united states oh my gosh so he went to trial again because that's what was promised to him and the prosecution led by assistant d.a joel rosen fun fact he was part of the trial in abstentia. And he drank absinthe while he was doing it. Which some said was a bad idea. You know, so he painted a picture of like a shithead who beat up women when they broke up with him.

Yeah. Yeah, cheated on Holly constantly. And yeah, OK, we know. Yeah, we got it. All right. All right. I'm just just gonna blow through that um the defense led by william t cannon explained that ira wasn't guilty had he'd been

framed and he'd only fled the country because he was afraid he wouldn't get a fair trial sure okay so the prosecution called a woman named rita resnick who testified that in the 60s she was trying to dump ira and he strangled her another woman judith sab, who testified that in the 60s she was trying to dump Ira and he strangled her. Another woman, Judith Sabbat, testified that when they dated, Ira tried to isolate her from family and friends. She said he referred to parents and siblings as sentimental shackles and told her she needed to break free from them. And of course, she found that super controlling. Yeah. So she tried to end things, and he hit her over the head with a Coke bottle and choked her. Great. The prosecution's case was pretty much the same as the other trial, so we don't need to go too much more into that.

What really stood out about this trial was that Ira was there. Yeah. And, of course, he took the stand in his own defense. Of course he did. He explained to the jury that he had a Virgo moon. The fuck's that mean? It means he was intelligent and curious and, you know. You wouldn't get it.

Oh my God. You wouldn't get it. I couldn't possibly understand. He also had no idea how Holly's body had gotten into his closet. understand. He also had no idea how Holly's body had gotten into his closet. The defense had him read journal entries from after Holly's disappearance. And in those entries, he talked about trying to find her and how he was so sad. Where'd she gone? A big part of this defense was proving how important Ira had been to the counterculture movement. Ira talked about founding Earth Day and how he'd emceed the event in Philadelphia. That's what a big deal he was.

When it came time for cross-examination, the prosecution had him read some other entries from his journals. Yeah, what we got? For example, he had to read, quote, to kill what you love when you can't have it seems so natural that strangling Rita last night seems so right. Yeah. Okay. Also, violence always marks the end of a relationship. Yeah, sure does for you, buddy. Don't worry.

Ira explained to the jury that the prosecution was really kind of twist in his words. He said his journals were literature. So it was metaphorical. Right. Slam poetry. That's right. He admitted that he'd been violent with women in the 60s, but then he'd gone to like this treatment facility in California and he'd been cured. Of violence?

Yes. By the time he started dating Holly, he had been cured from being violent with women. Sure. The defense also argued. It's a weird coincidence that she wound up murdered inside his closet then. Yeah. Well, framing. Okay.

Okay, right, right, right. The defense argued that Ira hadn't been in his apartment for several months in 1978. So, you know, tons of people could have accessed that apartment and they could have put Holly's body there to frame him for murder. No, because the smell and the stain happened in September of 77 when he was there. Well, that was unrelated, I'm sure. Toward the very end of the month-long trial, the prosecution brought in a rebuttal witness. It was a guy named Donald Nathanson. He'd been on the organizing committee for Earth Day, and he told the jury about how obnoxious Ira had been

and how he actually hadn't founded Earth Day, and he just hogged the mic that day. So no, he's not some big important guy. Yeah. The jury deliberated for about two and a half hours this time, and once again, they found him guilty, and he was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Afterward, Holly's brother, John Maddox, said, for the first time in his spoiled, selfish, egotistical life, he pays the price. Ira appealed because, of course, he did. Of course he did. But he lost.

And in April of 2020, after 18 years in prison, Ira died. Twasn't the Rona that got him. Twas heart problems. Oh. But, you know, I don't really care. Right. And that's the story of the unicorn. Holy shit.

That was a wild ride. Okay, now I said at the beginning that I think he's one of the biggest douchebags we've ever... Yeah. Yeah, right? Obviously. Oh, calm down. What a fucking douche. Seriously.

Oh, my goodness. This is turning into quite the meaty episode. It's quite the meaty boy. And you know what? At some point we'll have an ad here. So. And we're back. Oh, my gosh.

Just seamless. Just seamless. Should we take some questions from the Discord? Yes, but first, what's a Discord? A Discord is like a 90s-style chat room, but it's an app, I think. And then you can get in it by joining our Patreon at the $5 level or higher. My God. Well said.

Thank you. What? Secretly a cat wants to know, would either of you get a vagina steam? There's a local place offering $70 for your first session, but $60 if you bring a gal pal. What's a vagina steam? Is that like, okay, so you get like a clothing steamer and you hold it up to someone's vag. And then is it like an ingrown hair remover thing? I don't know.

I thought you weren't supposed to get too steamy in the vag. Well, I mean. Like aren't you supposed to like take off your workout shorts pretty quickly after you get them all sweated up? Yeah, well, you don't get folliculitis and yeast infections. Vaginal steaming. What is it, and is it safe? I also know it's V-steaming or yanny steaming. Yannysteaming. Yanni-steaming?

Involves squatting or sitting over a pot of hot steaming water that is infused with herbs. No, thanks. Pass. And I'm certainly not doing it with you, Kristen. Wait, what do you mean certainly not with me? I'm not getting, it's not worth it. Do we have to stand next to each other? No.

Squatting over a pot? We stand across from each other squatting over a pot no we stand across from each other absolutely not and we look into each other's eyes as our vaginas get steamed

and I say what's that scent vaginal steam detoxing has been linked to ancient ancient Greek treatments known as fumigating I gotta get my hot box

fumigating that doesn't seem good does it also why would I pay someone $70 for that I mean I know I'm exactly I'm not a sleepy time key and just I won't charge myself a dime

David I'm gonna need the bedroom for about an hour. I guess it'd be one hell of a thigh workout. You have to squat over the thing. Exactly. What are we doing? A wall sit while we're doing it? Anyway, in conclusion, no. No, thank you. Also, this is in my search history now.

Ooh, In conclusion, no. No, thank you. Also, this is in my search history now. Oh, Nosy Loves Food and Gets Angry wants to know, if you got to choose your own name, what would it have been? Oh, back in the day, the name that I thought that was the most beautiful in all the land, Crystal. That's not that far from your own name. I know. But, you know, it was like I thought my parents just if they'd just been a little braver, they could have given me the sexy version. Yeah. I don't. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted a name that could have kind of an androgynous nickname. So I wanted like to be Nicole, but go by like Nikki or be. What's another one?

Go by like Jess or. Yeah. I just thought that was just the fucking coolest thing. I mean, that is cool. You weren't wrong. You weren't wrong. Ooh. I see Fat Legs wants to know biggest red flags when it comes to dating.

Brandy, you recently dated for 12 seconds. Do you have any? No, I dated one time, so no, I got nothing. Well, and you two were just a giant red flag. Yeah. moved really fast we did alarmingly fast there was no time and yet you know sometimes it works yeah until he murders you well i mean at this point that'd be ridiculous why would he murder me um how many episodes of dateline have we seen? Well, I mean, but he already married me and everything. Exactly. He's got the insurance. Okay.

Boy. Nah, I think he likes me too much. Agreed. Ooh, okay. I already asked one, but these are good questions. Nosey loves food and gets angry. Wants to know, would you rather have to speak in riddles or rhymes for the rest of your life? Oh, God.

I would speak in fucking riddles. I do rhymes. Yeah, I know you would. All right, calm down. My name is Kristen and I'm here to say doing drugs is not okay. See? Cooler already, Brandy. Cooler already, Brandy.

Courtroom Hoodie wants to know, Kristen, do you have a recommendation for a bath pillow for when you want to read in the tub? Okay, let me tell you, I'm not going to answer this question exactly. I think, you know, bath pillows, whatever. Here's my real recommendation. The tray thing that goes over the bathtub? Is that what you're going to recommend uh no i although i do love the tray okay here's my real recommendation i think everyone should be doing this if you're not doing it start now okay dry yourself up a nice hot bath all right gets all steamy problem is right eventually it steamies out a little bit. Yeah, it gets cold. You get cold sitting in cold soup.

And before that, your chest gets kind of cold. So here's what you do. Don't make that face at me. You get yourself a hand towel. You dip it in the warm water. You toss that over your chest so you're, like, extra warm for even longer. It's a great tip. Don't look at me like that. It's a wonderful longer. It's a great tip. Don't look at me like that.

It's a wonderful tip. It's a game changer. Brandy. You stay so much warmer. You know, I'm not a bath person. So. Hmm. We did have.

Okay. On our honeymoon. Right outside our room was the hot tub, like literally like 10 steps maybe from the patio of our room. So we did get in the hot tub each evening and that was delightful. Did you steam your vagina? I mean, my vagina was in the steaming water. So I mean, I guess. So in a sense, yes. I didn't like leave my vagina was in the steaming water. So, I mean, I guess. So, in a sense, yes. I didn't, like, leave my vagina out of the hot tub. Okay.

All right. Hold on. Hold on. Pean shaming says, Brandy says she doesn't like sauces but seems to like dips. What's the difference? Somebody else piped in, and this is my exact answer. So did you know when Lincoln was president said, you control the dip. Sauces are on top and can be a lot for some.

That's exactly it. I do like to dip in a sauce, but I am very much in control of how much is there. If a sauce, if something comes on my sandwich pre-sauced, absolutely not. Because what if I take a bite and there's just like a big, it's a texture thing. More than a taste thing, it's a texture thing. What if I take a bite? It's a big glob of sauce. Yeah, you'll probably die on the spot. I might throw up. When two become one, ask Brandy, do you plan to tell London about your divorce? I had almost the exact same thing happen as you did, and I haven't told my daughter or son. And my daughter's 12. I know there's going to be a time when she accidentally finds out, and it might be weird.

So, yes, I will absolutely tell London when she's, like, at an appropriate age. And I actually think it'll be very easy because David is also divorced and has Jackson. So it's, a very supernatural conversation. Yeah. Not like supernatural, like ghosts and stuff. But there might be. There could be ghosts. Maybe you could go ghost hunting and tell her about it.

That's an idea. It's a great idea. Thank you. I want to work around for a bit. On that note, Little Pink Kristen asks, do you have any Valentine's Day traditions? I file for divorce on Valentine's Day. And it's something she does every year. No, no Valentine's traditions.

I like Valentine's Day, though. Norb and I have a tradition. What do you do? There is a pizza place near us. You get a heart-shaped pizza? We sure do. And they do a bouquet of buffalo wings. Oh, amazing.

It's quite romantic. Do you then shit your brains out after yeah there's no sex after last year that was when we first got dotty oh and um that was so we went out to go get all the stuff to go because it was like the first time that she was left alone in the house. And she freaked the fuck out. We had her, we thought, pretty well secured in the kitchen. But she somehow leapt over the gate and shat on the living room floor and curled up on the couch. Wonderful. So in a way, shitting is part of the tradition.

That's right. Shout out Fast Finger Faye. Ask Brandy, are you listening to Lance Bass's podcast, Frosted Tips? Of course. I have admittedly only listened to the first two episodes so far. But it's because I've got Spare, the audio book. And so all of my time is going into listening to that before I have to return it. So she's very busy.

I know. I just don't have that much time to listen to stuff. So, you know, OK, a lot of people are asking about what we did on break and about your honeymoon. Do you want to talk a little bit? So while we were on break, David and I took our honeymoon. We went to Key West and I did talk about this on the bonus episode. So if you heard it already, too fucking bad. I'm going to talk about it again. Oh, wow. That's a good way to treat the people who pay for this shit. That's right. We had an amazing time. We went to Key West.

We went to the beach. We did a historic tour. We did a ghost tour. I actually think that I might have a real future in Key West doing a Carl Tanzler tour. I've been thinking about this a lot. Yeah. I could go to Key West. I could live in Key West and I could put together a tour. David could be our driver and I could be the one

who's giving out the information and pointing out all the creepy weird spots that Carl Tanzler was. If you want to know more about Carl Tanzler, I covered his case on the bonus episode. It was gross, but she did a very good job. Thank you. I think there might be a market for that. There would definitely be a market for that.

Are you kidding me? And there are multiple ghost tours in Key West, but none that I found that were specifically about good old Count Von Cosell. Oh, my God. Brandi, you know what we should do as a business idea? Move to Key West? No. Well, I mean, that would be wonderful. We buy ourselves, like, a trolley cart.

David drives around, and we and people get tickets, and we take them on, like, a true crime tour of Kansas City. Let's do it! I'm serious. That's a really good idea. That sounds amazing. All right. All right. Sorry, this is the last episode

of the podcast. No! We do the podcast alongside it. Oh, okay, okay. God! And then, we have no time for anything and we die and we die exactly sounds good um no david and i loved key west it was amazing it's my favorite place i've ever been i can't wait to go back

there i want to go back on every vacation i ever take it's so funny because i have a couple of clients who are like key west people like they go multiple times a year and i'm like i wonder like why what's the same place every time. And I'm like, I literally cannot wait to go back there. Loved it. That's so cool. Like the vibe. Oh, it was just wonderful.

We had the best time. She wore shorts, everybody. I wore shorts or a sundress every day I was there. I wore a coral dress. I wore a blue dress. I wore, it was black, but it had big flowers all over it. Are you kidding me? No! Who are you?

Yeah, I wore shorts. Please note that she is, of course, wearing a black hoodie today. I am, but I got it in Key West. It's a Ron John hoodie, which I've wanted my whole life, and I got it in Key West. When I was in the sixth grade, they were very popular, and I did not have one, and I've won one ever since. I I was in the sixth grade, they were very popular and I did not have one

and I've won one ever since. I feel the same way about big dog shirts. I went nowhere on break. That's fine though. Did you do anything? When you live in Kansas City, Missouri, you don't need to go on vacation.

You're on vacation every day. Every day's a vacay. No, what did I do? I had a nice time. I got a lot of writing done. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure it's going to be a huge number one bestseller. Obviously. Shut up. Anyway, I try.

I also built the McAllister house out of Legos. I was just about to ask about that. You were not. I was like, hey, did you build the McAllister house out of Legos by chance? I did. Oh, good. Yeah. Good.

It was good. It was really good. Okay, great. Enjoyed it very much. Should we do some Supreme Court inductions? Yes! Let's do some Supreme Court inductions. What episode are we on now?

We are on episode 241. And to get inducted at the end of each episode, all you have to do, well, you don't get it. You get inducted once. We do these inductions at the end of each episode. But you only get it once. And to get inducted, all you have to do is join our Patreon at the Supreme Court level or higher. And then we'll, right now, we're doing your names and your first crush. Your first celebrity crush.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. We don't want to hear, like, John. Sorry, first celebrity crush. Kate Cowan. Adam Banks from the Mighty Ducks movies. Always injured, but one of the best players on the team? Don't question your love, Kate. Stacey Lester. Devin Salwa. on the team question mark don't question your love kate stacy lester devin saw i watched the

little giants and now and then about a hundred times oh stacy are we the same person yep do you think that's oh okay hold on hold on jason jason did not understand the assignment jason is your last name Gene? Jason Gene? Jason Jen. Jason Jenny. Maybe Jason did understand and just didn't want to tell us their first celebrity crush. So they told us their favorite cookie instead. Snickerdoodle.

Wonderful. Sarah Banks. Neve Campbell. Sign number one that I was gay. Sarah Banks. I'm sure she's never heard that one before. Tracy Hanks. Will Wheaton.

Star Trek. Casey Carter. Devin Sawa. Absolutely. Deb. Sean Cassidy. Linda Studer. George Michael.

M in the space in between. Ashley Parker Angel I love to You're the star of my people's dreams I want it all Oh my For nothing at all I like how you were embarrassed at first I know but then

I mean it It's a good one Rolex Steve Irwin Helene Jonathan Taylor Thomas Sheila Martin Sean Cassidy

Two Sean Cassidys You guys want to Joust about it? Yes please Let's have a joust Aaron Young Benny the Jet From Sandlot

Benny the Jet Rodriguez Oh Okay With his PF flyers Brandy's familiar Zoe Bataglia Ewan McGregor In Big Fish Oh I like that Matt Rodriguez. Oh, okay. With his PF flyers. Brandy's familiar. Zoe Battaglia. Ewan McGregor in Big Fish.

Oh, I like that one. Oh, yes. Ewan McGregor. All right. You don't like Ewan McGregor? I... No, he's fine. What? He's fine.

Yeah. You know what? I need to be less judgy. Zoe, I'm sorry. Take it back. Sierra. Tom Holland. She said it was like the singer.

Sonic, hypnotic, funky, fresh. Suzanne. Christian Slater. Sydney Corona. Zac Efron. Welcome to the Supreme Court! Thank you, everyone, for all of your support. We appreciate it so much.

If you're looking for other ways to support us, please find us on social media. We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Patreon. Please remember to subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. Also, while you're at it, go to subscribe to The Gaming Historian. Let me let you in on a little secret, folks. Here's a secret. The Gaming Historian is almost at one million subs. And my husband really wants to get to one million subs.

So go subscribe. Please help that young boy. That's right. And then, yeah. Oh, after that, go over to Apple Podcasts, leave us a five-star rating and review, and then be sure to join us next week. When we'll be experts on two whole new topics. Podcast adjourned! And now for a note about our process.

I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitate it all back up in my very limited vocabulary. And I copy and paste from the best sources on the web and sometimes Wikipedia. So we owe a huge thank you to the real experts. I got my info from reporting from the Philadelphia Inquirer, Salon.com, Esquire, the New York Times, and an episode of the TV show People Magazine Investigates. I got my info from an episode of Dateline, The Last Day, True Crime Daily, The LA Times, and The Antelope Valley Times. For a full list of our sources, visit lgbcpodcast.com. This is squishing her tits together right now. What? Any errors are of course ours. My name is Ben Moore. Please don't take our word for it. Go read their stuff.