Let's Go To Court! - 263: Strongman Duo Chop and Steele

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

Are you ready to get buff? Boy, have you come to the right place! In this episode, we learn from the VERY REAL strongman duo, Chop and Steele. They’ll lead you through workouts you’ve probably never heard of… like chopping twigs in half! Wanna work those legs? Try stomping on an Easter basket! When you’re really ready to get your pump on, fill a jug with some leftover turbo gravy. Do a few reps. You’ll definitely feel the burn! (What’s turbo gravy, you ask? What a weird question! You’ve obviously never heard of Chef Keith Guerke.) … are you starting to think that these guys aren’t the real deal? Well, that probably means you’re smarter than the morning news anchors who invited Chop and Steele on air. And now for a note about our process. For this episode, Kristin read a bunch of articles, then spat them back out in her very limited vocabulary. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: The documentary, “Chop and Steele” “Fake strongman duo Chop and Steele prank morning TV shows,” Found Footage Fest channel on YouTube “Fake strongman duo Chop and Steele in North Dakota,” Found Footage Fest channel on YouTube “K-Strass the yo-yo guy super compilation,” Comedy for Profit channel on YouTube “The Found Footage Festival has triumphed in its copyright lawsuit,” by Jim Vorel for Paste Magazine “Gray Television Group, Inc v. Found Footage Festival, LLC” court documents “Chasing the story of Chop & Steele” by Richard Whittaker for the Austin Chronicle “Meet the comedy duo who got sued for pranking the news,” by Oliver Noble for Vice.com YOU’RE STILL READING? My, my, my, you skeezy scunch! You must be hungry for more! We’d offer you some sausage brunch, but that gets messy. So how about you head over to our Patreon instead? (patreon.com/lgtcpodcast). At the $5 level, you’ll get 48+ full length bonus episodes, plus access to our 90’s style chat room!  

One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts. I'm Kristen Caruso. I'm Brandi Pond. Let's go to court. On this episode, I'll be talking about chop and steel. What is chop?

Those are like two people, chop and steel. Hell yeah they are. Someone named Chop and someone named Steel. Damn skippy. Is this like Jim Bro Bertner-y? Yes. It's such a beautiful way of putting it. Okay, excellent.

You've really captured the Chop and Steel aura. Brandi, how you doing today? I'm doing wonderful. How are you doing? I'm good I'm ready to get my pump on You do look pumped Yeah Are you ready to pump up the jam? Do I have to do a workout for this episode?

You know what here's what I'll tell you You're gonna wanna do a workout You're gonna hear some of this stuff and you're gonna be inspired Okay To chop and or steal. Calm down. Don't get too cute. I don't want these guys to come kick our asses.

Okay. And before that inevitably happens, sign up for our Patreon, which is, before we get our asses kicked, sign up for our Patreon where you can binge 49 bonus episodes. That's a lot

of bonus episodes. Yeah. What'd you talk about on the most recent one, Kristen? I talked about the Bessie Little Bridge in Ohio. O-H? That's right. You're supposed to then say I-O. Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, so it's that beautiful comedic timing appealed to you, you'll jump right over to Patreon. At the higher levels, we've got more shit for you. Yeah, all kinds of shit. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash LGTCpodcast. Dot biz. No. All right.

You ready for this? Yeah. First of all, do you know anything? No, I know nothing. Okay. And like you called dibs on it and you're like, don't Google it. Yeah. She yelled it in all caps.

I did. So I don't know. I literally know nothing. Good. Good. Other than you've been pumping your arms this whole time. So that's how I got the Jim Bro feel. You know what?

I think we're all going to be pretty inspired by this story. Okay. First of all, shout outs to the documentary Chop and Steal, the fabulous Found Footage Festival YouTube account, a lot of great clips on there, and a very entertaining court record. Okay. I don't normally shout out a court record. No, you don't. But I was a fan of this one. Okay. Okay. I'd like to start, if I may, by reading an email. Oh.

It comes from a publicist, and it was sent to the WEAU's morning show, Hello, Wisconsin. WEAU, or Channel 13, covers the La Crosse-Eau Claire, Wisconsin market. And I will now read you that email in its entirety. Okay. From Jerry Chubb. C-H-U-B-B? That's right. Okay.

Sent Wednesday, November 16, 2016, 944 a.m. to Tyler Mickelsonson Subject line. Hi, Tyler. Strongman duo coming to Eau Claire. The body of the email reads as follows. Hey, Tyler. My name is Jerry, and I represent the strongman duo Chop and Steel. They'll be in Eau Claire on Tuesday, November 28th for a couple performances and would love to swing by the WEAU studio for a demonstration on your morning show. We'd love your help to promote our shows in northwestern Wisconsin, and in exchange,

we promise to give you an entertaining segment. Let's break some cinder blocks. you an entertaining segment. Let's break some cinder blocks. Is this how this works? What do you mean? Do people solicit visits to a morning show? Like invite themselves on? Brandy, this is literally what I did for a living before this podcast. I was a PR person. Right, I know, but is that how, I don't know the process. Is this how it works? You reach out and you say, I want to be on? I assumed it worked the other way. The news reaches out and say, we want you on. It works both ways. Okay. But yeah, if you're the PR person for an organization, especially if you're trying to get publicity for like a tour or something, you reach out ahead of time. You try to get something arranged. Okay. The attached press release has more details, but in a nutshell, these two guys were fan favorites on America's Got

Talent. And now they're breaking, bending, and cracking their way across the country from Thanksgiving to Christmas with their tour called Give Thanks for Strengths. Catchy. They discuss ways to unify people, how to prevent bullying, and how to generally be a good dude. Their humor, wit, and most of all, strength, makes for an extremely entertaining and educational experience. Did I mention cinder blocks? Oh, and Steel is from Wisconsin originally. He's a cheesehead! Please let me know if you'd like to book them for an appearance on Tuesday, November 28th. Thanks. Best, Jerry. All right. Did they book them? What do you think? I don't. Yes. They couldn't wait to bust some cinder blocks. Sure. Yeah.

Who doesn't want to see some cinder blocks being busted this reminds me of that assembly that we had in middle school where the guy came and tore a phone book in half and i think it was an anti-drug anti-bullying assembly well okay what i remember from that assembly was anti-sex oh i think it was anti-everything. In fact, anti-fun. No, my memory is he got very emotional. Yeah. Okay, very big dude, big feelings. Yes.

Little tank top. It's true. And he said, okay, my memory was he hadn't explicitly mentioned sex yet. So this kind of came out of nowhere. And he told us, you girls, you are too good for the backseat of a car. And I remember I didn't get it at first. And then I saw the look on some of the teacher's faces. And then I understood that this man was an idiot.

And that I wasn't too good for the backseat of a car. Yeah. And that's the story of how Kristen lost her virginity. That is enough, Brandy. I'm so mad I could tear a phone book. Page by page. Okay, so attached to that email that I just read to you was a press release. And I will read that press release to you now.

Okay. Publicity contact. Jerry Chubb. Jay Chubb at thanksforstrengths.com. For immediate release, November 15th, 2016. Headline, America's Got Talent Strongmen Bring Feats of Strength to Northwestern Wisconsin. All right. The body of the press release reads,

Strongman duo Chop and Steel are lifting, pulling, breaking, and cracking their way across the country in a high-octane thrill show called Give Thanks for Strengths. The fan favorites from season three of America's Got Talent will be performing a series of free live events in Black River Falls, La Crosse, Eau Claire, and Winona the week of November 28th, using their muscles to entertain and educate. With the country more divided than ever, Chop and Steele's message of unity and inner strength has never been more important. It's so true. Steele, who was raised in poverty in rural Wisconsin, and Chop, raised in a wealthy gated community, found that through strength training, they were able to find common ground and literally break the chains of their differences.

Instead of conveying their message with books and chalkboards, they used cinder blocks, baseball bats, tractor tires, nunchucks, and a whole lot of beast mode. No, I don't like that. You not a fan of beast mode? I'm not a fan of beast mode. Chop and Steele also address the subject of bullying and ways to prevent it through humor, courage, and self-respect. In addition to their appearances on AGT, Chop and Steele have appeared on Steve Harvey, the Hallmark Channel's Marie, and as featured entertainers

at Disneyland's 60th anniversary celebration. As Steve Harvey said, they may look tough, but these dudes are teddy bears. Teddy bears who can lift tractor tires. To book a performance slash interview with Chop and Steel, contact Jerry Chubb at jchubb at thanksforstrengths.com. Excellent. You ready to contact him? Yeah. I'm going to get something scheduled right now. Yeah. Yeah. How you feeling, Brandy? Pretty excited to see some cinder blocks getting busted. You've been making skeptical faces this whole time. I don't mean to call your ass out.

Naturally, the journalists at WEAU were very interested in having Chop and Steel on the program. So were a lot of local news stations. In fact, within 24 hours of this press release going out, 12 journalists responded with interest. Wow. And that's how Chop and Steele got booked on several morning shows. Chop and Steele are professional strongmen, so they showed up to these interviews looking very good. up to these interviews looking very good. Joe Shopson, aka Chop, has memorable facial hair. His sideburns... I was going to say, please elaborate. Oh, don't you worry. So his sideburns go about halfway down the cheeks and they kind of flare out at the end. Yeah, sure. Yeah, kind of like a triangle. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I don't know my triangles well.

I'm sure there's a special name for the ones that do exactly what I'm outlining on my cheek to you right now. Do we? Yeah. He also has a goatee and mustache combo. Oh, sure. But zero facial hair below the jawline. Yeah. So it does.

No neck beard. Yeah, it does. No, no, no. No neck beard. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, I apologize. No neck beard. Yeah, it does. No, no, no. No neck beard. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, I apologize. No neck hair. Excuse me.

Now, it does draw the eye to the double chin, but we're not worried about it. Yeah, you know, just growing that hair down actually disguises the double chin. Right. So he could do. He didn't want to do that. Okay. All right. Nicholas Stelling, a.k.a.

Steele, has more standard facial hair, just a mustache. Keep it simple. Okay. But what Steele lacks in interesting facial hair, he more than makes up for with his fashion choices. For example, on their appearance on Good Day Dakota, Steele wore kind of a zebra print bandana on his head, more of a do-rag situation. He wore billowing zebra print Zubaz pants. Yeah, Zuba pants, yeah. He topped it off with a dark gray T-shirt.

It had kind of a fun pattern on the sides. I thought you said they dressed nice. Oh, oh, wow. You know what? I think they're going to have to address the bullying that you're giving to them right now. What's wrong with this outfit, huh? I don't know what I pictured when you said they showed up looking nice. Okay, okay.

Two strong men walk into a news studio looking nice. What do you think they're wearing, huh? I don't know. Wearing a nice pair of slacks, a very form-fitting t-shirt. Slacks? Yeah. To bust cinder blocks? Yeah.

No, you gotta be in like your... Zubas, apparently. Yeah. If it were up to you, they wouldn't be wearing any zebra pants. Anyway. All right. You're judging ass. All right.

So he tops it off with a dark gray shirt sure hope that's okay with you yeah i approve of the shirt it had a fun pattern on the sides it did yeah it did like a gusset situation on the side it's a gusset situation you know like a little this area yeah the side area. When it's carved out. Yeah. Oh, is that called a gusset? It can be. Well, let's do it. So, yeah, they had the gusset situation.

And the pattern actually transitioned from orange to yellow as it went down. Good. Like an ombre situation? Yeah. A little gradient. Okay. Are you picturing this? Pretty good, right? Is it like flames?

Does it make him look like he's going really fast? You know what? I'm trying to remember exactly. It was kind of flamey. Okay. All right. He had also very clearly gone to his nearest craft store and bought some iron-on letters to put on the shirt. So his shirt said steel across the chest. and i should probably mention that his t-shirt was very tight well obviously super tight like so tight yeah this is a steel what's um what's chop wearing chop got on yeah all right okay he was also dressed to impress i guess my opinion probably not yours um for this particular appearance. Chop also sported kind of the zebra print bandana look.

Although sometimes he swaps that out for an American flag bandana because, you know, patriotism. Oh, no. More judgment from you. I get very nervous when I see someone wearing something depicting the American flag. You prefer Confederate. Stop it. He wore a light gray sleeveless tank. Also super tight.

Yeah, obviously. So tight. Yeah. Some might say too tight. Not you, though. Not me. Not me. I'm here for it.

He'd also done the iron-on lettering thing. Did his say chop? Sure did. Also, though, underneath the chop, he'd taken a Sharpie and handwritten, give thanks for strengths. Okay. What? These men were favorites from America's Got Talent. They don't have like a costume, a uniform.

I mean, this looks like it was hastily made in the parking lot of a Hobby Lobby. Hastily? It's written with Sharpie, you just said. Okay, you tell me how fast you can get some zebra print Zubaz pants, ma'am. That's going to take several days. All right. They couldn't even get shirts like printed up that have their names on them? Oh, I'm sorry that they spent their money on cinder blocks and not on like printed shirts.

And it looked nice. They had the letters. All right. Now, you're not going to like this next part. two shirts. And it looked nice. They had the letters. Now, you're not going to like this next part. You know how I told you that he wrote in Sharpie on his shirt? Yeah. Well, the writing wasn't exactly centered on the shirt. Was it also kind of crooked?

Run downhill a little bit? Hey, it was clear an adult had done this. But no, it wasn't exactly centered on the tank top. He paired all that with a thin set of gray and yellow shorts, which left very little to the imagination. Gray and yellow? Yeah. It was kind of cute because he kind of matched Steele, you know, because Steele had, i don't know if i mentioned we heard ombre situation ombre gussets uh-huh okay um how short were the shorts

you know what okay this is not going to answer your question okay first of all yes they were short uh-huh it's really more the material yeah are they kind of swishy material? No. Here's the thing. They look a lot to me like so Norman wears like boxer briefs. And it was kind of maybe Norm doesn't want the world to know what his underwear look like. Kristen picture it. Everyone. They look like boxer briefs. I mean,'s pretty bike short type of thing kind of okay kind of yeah yeah all right like i don't think he's just wearing underwear but they are they give

underwear vibes what kind of shoes do these gentlemen have on i'm picturing, okay, shorts man, I am picturing a high top tennis shoe with a very chunky white sock. It was actually yellow socks. But yeah, they got their white sneaks on. Okay, alright. So, they had the muscles, check. They had the killer outfits. Check. Clearly they were ready to go on the local, and the news anchor took one look at them and said, you guys don't really look like strongmen.

That's so mean. It is so mean. I think they got that from you. Stop it. They got that from you. Stop it! Chop and Steel were a little offended, and they're like, well, we are strong men, and we're here to perform for you. Like, hello.

And the news anchor was like, mm, hang on. And he walked backstage, and he came back 10 minutes later and was like, okay, you guys need to leave. We're not going to put you on air. Oh, shit. Yeah. Fucked up, huh? Oh, my gosh. Okay. They just had to take their little zoo best pants and go so that was devastating but other news stations weren't so rude for example their appearance at wea use hello wisconsin went great they arrived on set and of course the producers wanted Chop and Steele to film a few quick teasers, you know, the kind of thing like, coming up, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. And Chop and Steele were happy to oblige. What? Did they have a little trouble with the copy? Did we have a buttery, crispy crust situation? No, no. Okay. These dudes are pros. No. No. Okay. These dudes are pros.

Okay. For example, in one of the teasers, Chop and Steel are standing side by side, okay? And you know,

the bandanas are bandaning, the Zubaz pants are Zubaz-ing, and they're looking straight ahead. It's the weirdest pronunciation of Zubaz I've ever heard.

I actually looked up how to pronounce it and I've still messed it up. So they're looking straight ahead at the camera. Yeah. No shortage of intensity. Okay. Okay. And they are together holding one standard size tire. Okay? And they are together holding one standard-sized tire. Why?

And they are doing bicep curls with it. Okay. What do you mean, why? Yeah, why? Well, it's part of the teaser. Like, coming up, you're going to see these guys. I thought they lifted tractor tires. Well, I mean, it's possible I don't really know what a tractor tire looks like, but to me it looks like any tire I've ever had on any of my cars.

Yeah, tractor tires, big. This one, not so big. Okay. But they were doing a great job lifting it together. Have you seen those CrossFit people where they flip a tire? I have. I think that's a tractor tire. That's what you're expecting.

That's what I'm expecting, yeah. Well, that's not what you're getting here today. Okay. What did they do when they were on America's Got Talent? You'll find out. I mean, it's this stuff. Okay. All right.

In another teaser for Hello Wisconsin, Chop and Steel, okay, picture it. They're facing each other. They are both holding a tennis racket in the air. And they clank, clank, clank. They hit their tennis rackets midair. And each time their rackets make contact, they count off. One, two, three, four, five, six. Why?

It's the workout. That's not a workout. It's a feet of strength. Slapping rackets? It's a feet of strength, Brandi. I could lift a tennis racket. But could you hit it in the air against my tennis racket? Yes!

For multiple reps. Yes! Fairly easily, I think. Would you like to hear more? They better bring out some bigger stuff. Okay. I hear you. I hear you.

Are you ready to take it up a notch? I am. Bam! Emeril. Okay. They then brought out Emeril, and they started bench pressing him. Oh. I like where your head's at.

Yeah. So in this one, which, by the way, I hate to play favorites, but this is my favorite promo that they did for this particular show. Okay, picture it. Chop is lying on the floor face up. And there is a tire lying flat on the ground between his legs. All right. Steel is lying on top of him in the 69 position. You couldn't describe it any other way than the 69 position?

I couldn't. Keep in mind they're fully clothed. This is a morning show. Chop is gripping Steel's feet, and Steel is gripping the rim of the tire. And so for the workout for Steel, he's doing a push-up. So for the workout for Steel, he's doing a push-up. And the workout for Chop is that he is helping his friend do a push-up by lifting his feet in the air. And they do several reps of this.

That's not a real workout of any kind. Okay, gatekeeper. Wow. I bet you like to go to gyms and be like, that's not real. No, I would never do that. And yet you do it today so boldly and rudely. These men are claiming to be professional strongmen. They are professional strongmen chopping steel. Okay, tell us more.

The teasers went very well. And then it was time for the interview and demonstration. Are you ready? Obviously. Okay, so let's start out with the intro to Hello, Wisconsin, because I think it really sets the tone. It looks just like every intro you've ever seen to a local news show. They've got the booming voice, you're watching Hello, Wisconsin. And there's a clip of three very white news anchors standing in a semicircle, their hands in the middle, and they shout,

Hello, Wisconsin! And they raise their hands in the air because they have fun. You know, it's such a good time. And the booming voice says, This is WEAU 13 News. We cut to two anchors in the studio. It's a man and woman. The man looks like off-brand Tony Goldwyn.

You familiar? Scandal? Okay. The woman is wearing an eggplant-colored dress. She is pulling it off. Tony Goldwyn? You said from Scandal? Isn't he from Ghost?

I don't know. I don't watch spooky shows. It's not spooky. It's Patrick Swayze. Oh, excuse me. The movie. Oh. No, Tony Goldwyn.

No, you're way off. Am I thinking of the wrong person? I hope so. Yeah, he's Carl in Ghost. Oh. I've never seen Scandal. Well, that alone is a scandal. He's in Oppenheimer.

You just saw that. Oh, boy, you know what? I knew I was taking a real swing here. That alone is a scandal. He's in Oppenheimer. You just saw that. Oh, boy, you know what? I took a I knew I was taking a real swing here mentioning an actor, which I never do. But I couldn't help it when I saw this man's face. I was like, he is off brand president from scandal. And then I had to look up the man's name. And I was like, Brandy's going to call me out because she knows this isn't an actor I know by name, and here we sit. I suppose you'd like to make fun of my bandana, too.

No, I love your bandana. Matches your pants so well. So the anchorman turns to the anchorwoman and says, I've been waiting for this all show long. And the anchorwoman is there with her hands clasped. Like, she's just so excited. Yeah. And she goes, I know. I'm excited.

And then. It makes me so uncomfortable. Yeah. What is it about it makes you so uncomfortable? I don't know. Someone being joyful and excited? No, I love being joyful and excited. Then we see Chop and Steel.

Mm-hmm. They look great, obviously. Yeah, they wore their Sunday best Zubas. And they know the importance of branding. So behind them, they've placed a handwritten sign. It's on, like, white poster board. Okay. And in red marker, they've written chop and steal and in black marker they've written give thanks for strengths they don't have any promotional materials to go along with this tour that's their materials that they wrote by hand i just

didn't get any posters printed up for this thing? Wow. Maybe there's not a good Kinko's on the road. I doubt it. Now, they did have apostrophes on the words thanks and strength. Okay. But in their defense, Brandy, they are strong men, not grammar men. I just spit everywhere.

They also had some trouble with the spacing. Chop and steel give thanks for strengths. Didn't take up the full poster board. So the bottom third was blank. Great! See, this is why you get it printed. You lay it out on a computer, you glance at it.

Wow. Looks nice. And then you go to your nearest Kinko's. Congratulations on being so rich all the time, Brandy. Okay. I'm not the one with a hot tub. Damn right you're not. So stay humble, my friend.

They told the anchors a little bit about their backstory. They said that they used to be bouncers at a pretty rough roadhouse in Missouri called the Double Deuce. The Double Deuce. They got the job. Sorry. They got the job through their buddy Dalton. Uh-huh. Okay.

Dalton hooked him up with a job at the Double Deuce. That's right. Okay. Anyway, yada, yada, yada. After a little interview, they were able to demonstrate their feats of strength. Are you ready for the first one? Yeah. Okay, picture it.

Easter baskets. Easter baskets? Yeah, these are plain wicker baskets. Like the kind that you give to like a four-year-old. Yeah. Okay. There are several of them all in front of the beautiful poster. And they're chopping steel. You know, they're ready. They're in position in the studio. Steel kneels on the ground and Chop stands over him. The news anchors look on, ready to be impressed. And Steel, whoosh, grabs one of the baskets. He swings it wide past Chop's feet, and then he brings it back toward his feet. And the second the basket swings back towards Chop's foot, he, boom, stomps it.

Easter basket destroyed! That's their feat of strength They're gonna stomp on baskets And Chop and Steel shout sort of in unison One Just like they did with the rackets They're gonna count out the reps Of how many baskets they're gonna smash Yeah you gotta count these things out

Are they filled with green Easter grass No these are empty baskets Okay that's the whole thing Squashing baskets to count these things out obviously are they filled with green easter grass no this is these are empty baskets okay that's the whole thing no it's washing baskets you're interrupting i'm so sorry okay okay so that's one have they heard of the africa stone no one had until last week's episode so they do this one and the anchor woman says, Nice. Steel grabs another basket and another and another.

Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Two, three, four, five. At that point, they run out of baskets so steel stands up and says all right so that's like that's five in like probably under 10 seconds okay i listen what i'm no strong man i do believe I could squash five baskets in ten seconds that's two seconds a basket

you know what you sound like to me you sound like you know when dudes are just like watching football they're like oh I should have done this I should have done that I'm Uncle Rico I could throw that football over those mountains I could stomp that Easter basket I could stomp that Easter basket. I could stomp the Easter basket. Are you ready for their next trick?

Yeah. All right, hater. Picture it. Chop is standing with his knees kind of bent. Okay. He's holding a sledgehammer in the same way that you might hold like a weightlifting bar. Yeah. And Steel wraps his legs around Chop's legs.

So picture a lap dance, but with the person receiving the lap dance standing and the person giving the lap dance sitting very low on their lap, like close to their knees. Okay. They're both gripping the sledgehammer. they're both gripping the sledgehammer. So it's kind of like a human seesaw. And Chop pulls up the sledgehammer, and he is, in effect, also lifting steel a bit.

So he's rocking back and forth, and they are, of course, in semi-unison, because nobody's perfect, going, one, two, three, four, five. And at one point they pause. And from his perch on Chop's lap, Steel gives a little lesson to the audience at home. What's the lesson? He says, you see, while he is flexing there, that if you do this at home, it's working your delts, your tris, your plats. It's all the major chest muscle groups.

Now we're getting to the end of the segment. The news anchors are ready to wrap this up. Who's he anticipating that you have at home to do that exercise with? Just your best friend in the world. That's all you need for these exercises, just your best friend in the world. Just your best friend in a sledgehammer's all you need for these exercises, just your best friend in the world.

Just your best friend in a sledgehammer. It's all stuff we have at home. Okay. So the news anchors are clearly ready to wrap this up. But Chop and Steele aren't done. For this part, Steele is doing a headstand, and he's facing the camera. And Chop is standing behind him, holding him holding steel's ankles in the air and he's opening steel's legs and bringing them back together and opening them and bringing them back together again not a workout well you say it's not a workout, then why are they both groaning with exertion as they do it?

The mail anchor says, Chop and Steel, you guys are performing Monday in Allentown. You can go to their website for more information. At this point, Chop interrupts him. Keep in mind, Steel is still in the headstand, and Chop is still opening and closing

his friend's legs in front of his own face. Yeah, so he's chop is still opening and closing his friend's legs in front of his own face yeah so he's talking through the opening and closing legs okay and he says the show on monday uh that one probably isn't what's on the website probably isn't gonna be that's where it's actually gonna be anchor okay chop a lot of times we'll we'll play anchor woman who by the way is holding a basket it's a secret chop well no no no if we don't play that then we usually play like a home anchorwoman there you go chop or a best buy parking lot what is this anchorwoman well follow their website you'll be able to get all the info where you can see these guys in person and the segment ends what do you think? Is this like...

Are you too turned on? I'm not too turned on. That's definitely not the problem. Is this all like a scammy scam? Have they never been on America's Got Talent? They're really not... What makes you think they've never been on America's Got Talent? It seems like they are a bit of a shit show on the morning news.

Wow. I mean, it's a little bit of a shit show on the morning news. Wow. I mean, it's a little bit of a low budge strongman show. You know what, Brandy? With the country more divided than ever before, the last thing we need is for you to talk shit like this. Uh-huh. Okay. You ever watched America's Got Talent? I have extensively.

Extensively? I've watched many seasons of it. Wait, are you a fan? I used to watch it a lot, yeah. I probably haven't watched it in like five years, but I used to watch like every season of it, yeah. And in your opinion, does America Got Talent? I've seen some entertaining stuff on it, sure. You ever seen Baskets Stomped?

No. Can't say what I have. Okay. seen some entertaining stuff on it sure you ever seen baskets stomped no okay now i mentioned earlier that chop and steel were booked on multiple morning news shows they impressed and inspired people all over this great nation with the exception of brandy who is a bitch you know well i'm trying to compare the description of this act to other things that I've seen on America's Got Talent. You've seen a lot of strongman duos? Some. Oh, really?

I mean, there's like weird physical things do make it on there. I don't know that I've specifically seen a strongman. But no, what I was really thinking of was like, well, they could really have been on America's Got Talent because there was this one season where this guy that just wore like a black bodysuit and a pumpkin mask over his face. Like David Pumpkins? No, David S. Pumpkins. Excuse the shit out of me. Okay. All right.

Didn't realize he was a friend of yours. Any questions? Okay. There we go. Anyway, he just came out and did like a stupid dance and a pumpkin mask every week

and he went pretty far. So it's conceivable. Yeah. All right. All right. I'd like to describe one more of their appearances. Okay.

If I may. Yeah. This one took place on Good Day Dakota. This time they were interacting with just one news anchor. And they were really trying to drive home the message that you don't have to go out and buy a bunch of fancy gym equipment. Okay. Sure. You could just smash baskets and 69 your best friend.

They were not 69. They were in the 69 position. And actually, unless their tongues are really long. Anyway, that's enough. That's enough.

I'm putting him into it because I'm too classy. How long would their tongues have to be, Kristen? I said dongs, not tongues. Oh, you said dongs. But it'd be helpful

if both were long. Because, you know, one's holding the guy's feet, so you understand what I'm saying. I do get it. Okay. So once again, Chop and Steele are in a news studio, dressed to kill, cameras are rolling, and they're about to show off another feat of strength. And Steele says to the news anchor, you can do all these strongman tricks from just stuff you find around your house and around your yard or whatever. So that's what we want to show you.

They start busting twigs. Wow. There's stuff you can find around your yard. Look at this twig I found today. He breaks it across his knee. Brandy, I can tell you're inspired by these men. I can. And you know how?

Because Chop then says, yeah, but actions speak louder than demonstrations. Actions and demonstrations are the same fucking thing. Actions speak louder than demonstrations is my new favorite sentence. And the news anchor says, let's get to some of the action right now and some of the stuff you guys are doing. We'll talk about some of your shows

around North Dakota right now, too. Chop turns to the anchor and says, we found some sticks, actually, in your parking lot. Shut the fuck up! He goes over, picks up a stick, and the news anchor kind of laughs, kind of nervously, and Steele says, This is all it takes.

Chop explains, Okay, we're going to get started with this one. And he holds up a twig. Uh-huh. And he grips the twig kind of horizontally at his waist. Uh-huh. And he says, now, we're going to reverse roles here. I'm Chop, but this time he's going to be doing the chopping. So Chop and Steel face one another with what can only be described as karate vibes.

And Chop holds out the twig and Steel, oh man, he mentally prepares himself to chop this twig in half with his bare hand. But before he does, he looks into the camera and says normally we say don't try these at home. hand. Sure. But before he does, he looks into the camera and says, normally we say don't try these at home. Go ahead and try these at home. Okay. And he lifts his arm in the air and boom! Slams it down easily, chopping the twig in two. And he yells, one! Okay.

The news anchor says, alright, perfect. Kind of like he wants this to be yeah but it's not over what happens next well there are more twigs okay uh-huh so chop bends down presents a second twig to steal and steel boom chops it he presents a third twig to steal and steel boom chops it he presents a fourth twig to steal and steel boom chops it he presents a fourth twig to steel and steel shakes his head mumbles that's a little big and so chop bends down and picks up a smaller twig which he of course presents to steel and steel boom chops it are you impressed yet how many reps of twig chopping do i have to do to become a strong man oh that's a

good question and i fear it's one that only they can answer but i think because they're such good dudes they'd be happy to you know just walk you through any of the exercises the main thing is don't be intimidated and don't go out and buy fancy equipment brandy right i know you've got that rowing machine but now you probably feel stupid for i do because i could have just found twigs anywhere yeah yeah and you've got a friend it's free to 69 me anytime i won't charge you a penny okay this next feat of strength comes with a life lesson. Are you ready? I am. Okay, for this next part, Chop turns to the news anchor and says, a lot of the time what we like to tell people is that you have to let life bounce off of you.

And the news anchor says, yeah. Okay. And Chop says, and so we are going to do just that literally in the literal sense. Literally in the literal sense. That's right. Let life bounce off of us. That's right. OK.

Let's all think on that for a minute. Sure. They just run at each other full speed. No, no. Although that is a good idea. And if they're listening, you know, that's a good idea and if they're listening you know that's a free idea that's right that one's on the house she's like i don't charge randy to come over and 69 me for a good workout so as he's saying this steel is busying himself gathering up twigs you know and they get into position okay so steel is holding a fistful of twigs and chop is what nothing what say it do you throw him

no don't be ridiculous chop is he's gonna put his chest out he's gonna he's gonna hit each one and it's coming right to him we don't want anyone to get each one and it's coming right to him. We don't want anyone to get hurt, Brandi. Okay. That's terrible. Chop is standing approximately five feet away from Steel, facing away from him. Oh, okay.

So Steel prepares himself to throw one of the twigs, but he stops, and he looks at the camera and says, again, this is one you don't want to try at home unless you've got, you know, you feel like you can really pull it off. Okay. Did they say that about the tennis racket thing, too? Don't try any of this at home unless you feel like you can pull it off. That's just good advice. There's a scary box up on the computer again. God, your vagina is terrifying.

Stop it! And yet I charge you nothing. Okay, so then he says to Chop, why don't you lift up your shirt in the back there? And Chop lifts up the back of his tank top, just enough to reveal his pale, not particularly well-toned back. Okay. And as he does so, Steel says to the anchorman, He's built up quite a callus out there.

And then Steel throws a twig at Chop's back, and it bounces off of him. And the news anchor goes, okay. No kidding! What the fuck is this? But Steel keeps throwing twigs at Chop's back. Two, three, four, five, six. Who is this working out? three, four, five, six.

Who is this working out? Then Steel runs out of twigs, so he says to Chop, how you doing over there? And Chop says, oh, I've been better, because it was a workout. No, it's not! You got to tense up your back when a twig's flying at you. You got to let that shit bounce off of you.

Yeah, like life. Let life bounce off of you. Yeah, we get it. Later in the segment, Chop and Steel bring out a few more props. Oh, boy. How long is this segment? It's delightfully long. This time it's five one-gallon jugs of some kind of brown liquid. Like an iced tea?

No, looks thicker than that. Oh, like a gravy? Yeah. Or a syrup? I think you're on the right track with gravy. Okay, all right. Steele says, One other thing we did is since it's after Thanksgiving, instead of buying expensive weights, one thing you could do is you've got leftovers.

Leftover gravy. Oh, my God. Anchor. Yeah. Chop. And we had five jugs of leftover turbo gravy here. And the anchor, what the fuck is turbo gravy? What do you think Turbo Gravy is?

I'm scared. I don't know. Well, the important thing is that we all know we all have it, especially after Thanksgiving, right? I know I've got five, ten, fifteen jugs of it easy. It's up to my ears and turbo gravy. And I never know what to do with it. Now I know. Now you have an answer.

Thanks, Chop and Steel. I was going to go out and buy expensive dumbbells. Steel bends down to pick up the jugs of turbo gravy. He hands one to the anchor. He keeps two for himself. And he gets the anchor to do bicep curls with the jug of turbo gravy. And Steel says, you'll feel the resistance. You'll feel it, your biceps and whatever it is, this back muscle.

You'll feel all that after five, six reps. The tricep? He forgot what tricep is called? Yeah, you seem unimpressed that he forgot that. He's supposed to be a strong man. Well, clearly he is because he had two jugs of the turbo gravy. Meanwhile, Chop has created a makeshift dumbbell using a hand towel rod and a jug of turbo gravy on either side of the rod. So Chop says, now I'm doing double duty here.

I'm just using a basic towel holder that you would have in your bathroom. Steal. Steal. Anything. It doesn't take all this fancy stuff to be able to do this. And, you know, he's still doing the bicep curls with the news anchor and he turns to the anchor and he goes, do you feel this already? And the anchor goes, oh, yeah. And, you know, maybe the anchor looks at the jug of brown liquid a little too long. And Chop goes, hey, that's just basic turbo gravy that you would have in your house. I'm sorry.

What? That's just basic turbo gravy that you'd have in your house? The fuck is, I repeat, what is turbo gravy? Okay, I have to admit, I do know what turbo gravy is. Would you like me to tell you? Yes! It's that thing that we all do. After Thanksgiving, you got a bunch of gravy, a bunch of leftovers, not sure what to do with it.

So you put it in a blender, blend it all up, make a smoothie out of it. And that is Turbo Gravy. You're welcome. That's not a thing people are doing. I learned that from a celebrity chef. I'm horrified. Okay. So, Chop says again,

I can do double duty with this one. He lifts the towel holder over his head, lowers it, starts to lift it again, but oh no! Like a little towel bar? Yeah, a towel bar that you would find in your bathroom. That weighs nothing. Right, but he's got a jug of Turbo Gravy on either side of the bar, so.

Do you get it? Yeah, I get it. So he's lifted it, he's lowered it, he's lifting it again. Did one of the jugs fall off the end? Both did. They fell off the rod, fell to the studio floor. There was turbo gravy everywhere! Chop and Steele were very apologetic.

This was so embarrassing. The news anchor tried to move the interview along. This is not real. The news anchor tried to move the interview along. This is not real. While I believe this happened, this is not a real strongman act. How fucking dare you? Brandy, what makes you think that this is not a real strongman? Because it's a fucking shit show, and it is not demonstrating any actual feats of strength let me stand here

and see how many sticks you could throw at my back okay if we try it i guarantee you're gonna hit a limit okay you're good now because i've gotten so strong So strong. Well, yeah, it's going to take time for you to build up the strength. Okay. First couple days, you're going to be real sore. Yep. Okay. So just to recap, you are now of the opinion that these guys are full of shit.

Yeah, I already was. I was of that opinion earlier as well. If I had to guess, I would say you decided they were full of shit the minute you heard about their iron-on letters. Yep. That's the thing that did it. You're so obsessed with looks. Written poster board. Wow, it's all about aesthetics to you, isn't it? Nothing about strength.

Promoting. Or being a good dude. Okay. So the news anchor is trying to move the interview along and get to the next demonstration. But Chop insisted on cleaning up that turbo gravy himself. Did he take his shirt off? No, he had some towels that he brought from home. Okay.

So as Chop sadly mopped up the gravy, the anchor tried to engage Steele in conversation. How'd that go? Anchor, this is really exciting. You guys are doing shows in North Dakota. When is your next show coming up? St. Tonight, we're at 7.30. We're playing The Curves in Mandan. The Curves? The women's workout circuit place, Curves? That's the one.

And the anchor goes, in Mandan? And Steel, yeah. Then Chop stands up from where he's been soaking up the turbo gravy with his towel and he says well if all goes well that's what we're hoping anchor what do you mean that's what you're hoping you don't have like a confirmed gig at the curves tonight it's kind of up in the air anchor that's very exciting. Chop. But it's not 100% confirmed yet for that show. And I'm calling them immediately when we get done with this to confirm it. If it's not, we do play the parking lot of Best Buy.

That's usually our backup. I don't even know what to say about this anymore. Do you hate this? I do. I love it. I hate it so much. This is where our senses of humor really... I take the road less followed.

Yes. This cracks me up. No, because I'm embarrassed for them so I can't handle it for who? for Chop and Steel they are not embarrassed they are embarrassing themselves then Steel says

admission is free or about five dollars which one is it Steel? but what we do is if you bring any stick, we'll chop it for them. So they can see that done. If you bring a stick, admission's half off. The free to $5 admission is now half free to $2.50.

As he's saying this, Chop has bent over in this shot, still sopping up turbo gravy with his towel. And the anchor says to him, oh, you don't have to worry about that right now, Chop. Well, I feel bad about it. Anchor, no, it's okay. We got it. No sweat. Let, it's okay. We got it. No sweat. Let's get to the cinder block.

Get right to the action. Steel. They can't actually break a cinder block is the problem. That's not the problem. Steel. steal well what we realized just before we went out here was we forgot our sledgehammer chop in the hotel anchor all right steal yeah unfortunately i don't think we can do that anchor hey no worries you don't have to worry about that.

No problem. Chop at this point gets back down on the floor to mop up more gravy. Oh, my gosh. The anchor turns to the camera, clearly ready to end the segment, go to commercial. And he says, anyway, coming up on Good Day Dakota, we have more action on the way. Chop and Steel, thank you so much. Chop. Apologize for the mess.

Anchor. Appreciate it. No worries. Give thanks for strengths. Be sure to check it out once again, and we'll have more Good Day Dakota on the way. Chop. Oh, um, I was gonna also say... Steel.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. Pointing down to the gravy. Oh my gosh. Anchor gosh anchor no it's okay don't worry about it no sweat at all you know he looks back at the camera he's just so desperate to end this segment chop i was anchor thank you chop oh. So much for joining us. Chop. Oh! Anchor. And we have weather. Chop. Oh!

Oh no. With Amber coming up. Chop. Oh! Sorry. Oh no. And that's how the segment ended. Oh my gosh. In my humble opinion it was some of their best work.

Okay. So tell us how Chop and Steel came to be a fake strongman. Oh, it seems like you're ready for the big reveal. Brandi, I have shocking news for you. Chop and Steel are not real strongmen. What? I have shocking news for you. Chop and Steel are not real strongmen.

What? As a matter of fact, they're just two long-term friends who enjoy playing pranks. Oh, it was all a prank? Yeah. Oh, my God. That makes it so much better. You thought they were like two doofuses? Yeah.

No. Yes. No, this was all a prank. Okay, that's way better. By the way, are you boiling hot? I'm not, but if you are, turn the fan on. Oh my gosh, I'm practically nude and you're just wrapped up in all your layers. That's right. I got layers on layers on layers.

So their names are Joe Pickett and Nick nick pruer and they are professional comedians oh that's way better okay i feel much calmer about this you were getting really worked up the turbo gravy sent you it did it did i couldn't handle it yes yeah oh i feel so much better now wait did you really think that like two just weirdo guys got on America's Got Talent and Steve Harvey and Marie and all that? No, I thought all of that was a lie. They fabricated all of that to get on these news programs. Hoping that it

would turn into something. Yes. Oh gosh, that would be so awful. Yes. So these guys have been friends since the sixth grade. They've always loved a good goof. In college, they set up a booth where people could unregister to vote. They started an improv rock band. An improv rock band?

Called The Beatles. Mainly, they bonded over their shared love of the absurd. Specifically, absurd videos. So, for example, when they were teenagers, Nick got a job at McDonald's and McDonald's had this ridiculous training video. And in it, there's this guy who's like way too happy to be cleaning a McDonald's. And a trainer who's like saying encouraging weird shit to him like don't stop cleaning till you see McSee and at no point in this training video is McSee explained yeah what the fuck is that we have no idea till this day we have no idea and that just cracked

Nick and Joe yeah so naturally Nick stole the tape from McDonald's and he and Joe would play it for their friends and they'd add their own commentary. And pretty soon they started going to thrift stores and garage sales, seeking out these weird limited release videos to add to their collection. Gotcha. Then after college, Joe got a job at a video duplication store. And, you know, sometimes companies would come in wanting to make a copy of their dumb training video and oopsies, maybe he'd make an extra copy for himself. Ah. So they amassed this big collection of weird videos, which included such classics as Frisbee Fuckers. Okay. Hey-hmm. Hey, kids, it's Jesus.

Whiskers the cat with the magical attitude. Oh. Nude golf. Nude yoga. And who could forget nude bowling party. Bowling party? Yeah, nude bowling party. And by the way, Nick says they're not good bowlers.

It's almost like it was just for the sex. Maybe. Eventually, in 2004, Nick and Joe took their massive weird video collection and created the Found Footage Festival. For years, they traveled all over the place playing weird video clips and making jokes along the way. But here's the thing. The job takes them on the road like 130 days of the year. Yeah. Sounds fucking terrible.

Yeah, it does. And one of the shittiest parts of this lifestyle is that they would have to go on stupid local news shows to promote the found footage festival. Yeah. And they often found that they'd show up to these interviews and the journalists wouldn't have done any research on them whatsoever. Sometimes they wouldn't even get their names right, wouldn't get the festival right. Plus the interviews were always very early in the morning. Yeah. So one day when they were in Kansas City, Missouri, and they had an interview with KCTV5.

Oh my gosh! Joe really didn't want to go. were in Kansas City, Missouri, and they had an interview with KCTV5. Oh, my gosh. Joe really didn't want to go. So he sent their UK tour manager in his place. And this guy just went on as Joe and tried like hell to talk without a British accent. And, you know, it went fine. Okay. And that was downright inspiring for them. They wondered if they might be able to get other people on the air.

Yeah. For example, what if they wrote a press release touting their good friend Mark as a yo-yo expert? Oh. An award-winning yo-yo master. Yeah. If you will. Oh. An award-winning yo-yo master. Yeah, yeah. If you will. A yo-yo expert who travels the country teaching kids about yo-yos and the importance of protecting the environment.

Sure. What if this yo-yo expert did great charitable work? Like, for example, something we really need, like giving yo-yos to homeless people. It could be called yo-yos for hobos. Oh, no. Uh-huh. Okay. That's exactly what they did, Brandy. Oh, my gosh. They got their buddy booked on seven news shows. They called him Kenny Strass or Kay Strass. Showed up to these news shows looking ridiculous. For one interview, he wore bright green shorts, a T-shirt, suspenders, a bright yellow hat, white socks, and what appeared to be brown dress shoes. Oh, sure. And he was very awkward in the interview segments.

Man, this is so funny. To me, this is the most hilarious shit on earth. I hate it. You hate it. I hate it. What do you hate about it? It just makes me so uncomfortable. Because someone will be embarrassed by it.

The people who were fooled into having these people on the show. Someone should be embarrassed. And so that makes me uncomfortable that someone is embarrassed by this. Well, I shouldn't say no to you sure um my opinion uh-huh they should be embarrassed yeah i mean for falling for it yes you're journalists yeah yeah you should vet the people that you're bringing on how simple would that have been to google yeah or like that one guy who took one look at these guys. He was like, hold on.

And I bet you anything, he went to the back. Yeah. He Googled. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so no, they should absolutely be embarrassed. Right.

And I'm okay with them being embarrassed. I am not. So he's very awkward in these interview segments he spoke very slowly he went on several tangents for example when a news anchor asked him how he got into yo-yoing here's what he told her i am just a 35 year old kidold kid at heart, you know, twice divorced. I have no kids. I don't have a girlfriend. Don't want one.

You know, it takes a lot of practice. My parents live in Denver. They just got divorced. And my dad is now in Oshkosh. And honestly, I'm just going all around. I have a brother in Portland who I don't get along with very well because of his wife. I'm not going to get into that. Oh, my gosh. And then he stops on air to answer a phone call.

Oh, my gosh. I don't think I need to mention that his phone was, of course, clipped to his belt. Obviously. In other segments, he complained about how difficult it is to get into schools these days because you have to check in with the office. Uh-huh. He also talked about how some of his appearances at local schools had not gone well. Okay? Uh-huh.

It's probably because people don't spank their kids enough these days. Oh, boy. Is that what he said? Yeah, that's what he said. He also talked about how he's twice divorced and his parents just got divorced. He said that sometimes when he's in a school yo-yoing with the kids,

they don't even get to the environmental stuff. Okay. In one particularly somber news segment, he explained that he'd recently lost a close friend. Eric Stringer. The Garth Brooks of yo-yoing. Does that person really exist? No!

The Garth Brooks of yo-yoing. And he led the news anchor through a moment of silence. Oh, my gosh. I feel compelled to tell you that while researching this story, I have laughed out loud so hard that Norman has come down to check on me. And the difference between our two reactions is just incredible to me. Naturally, when the interview started tanking, the news anchors would ask him to demonstrate his yo-yo tricks.

The thing is, Kenny can't yo-yo. For fuck's sake. So he'd oops-hit himself in the face with the yo-yo and he'd swing a bunch of yo-yos in the air and get him tangled. And sometimes the yo-yo would fall right off the string. Oh, my gosh. And the footage from those news pranks became so popular that the guy whose real name is Mark Prosh got a job on The Office. Really?

Yeah, he played the character Nate Nickerson. He was one of the warehouse guys in the later season. From there, he got on Better Call Saul, Modern Family, Portlandia. These news pranks launched his career. Oh my gosh. Don't worry, Nick and Joe didn't get jealous at all. Instead, they pranked more news shows. Oh my gosh. Nick went on several shows as celebrity chef Keith Gerke, who was there to promote his fake book, Leftovers Right, making a winner of last night's

dinner. No, that's a real missed opportunity. What? Leftovers done right. How to use that turkey with Chef Gerky. Oh. You've got a real career in fake books. I don't think I need to tell you that that's how he taught everyone how to make turbo gravy. So that's the celebrity Jeff who taught you about turbo gravy?

Yeah. Jesus. Keith Gerke, you ever heard of him? No! Yes, you have. I just told you about him. These fucking news anchors, he blends up all this shit

and they would drink it. Oh my gosh! Because it's funny, I realized as I was reenacting those news segments, I kind of made the news anchors sound skeptical. Uh-huh. They were not. They're just trying to, like, eat shit and keep going. Yeah, absolutely.

Because if they admit that this is weird and ridiculous. Right. Then they have to essentially admit that they're stupid. Yes. And they got fooled into something. Yes, absolutely. Yes, and they got fooled into something. Yes, absolutely. Oh, boy. I found Chef Gerky to be very inspiring.

He explained to the news anchors that it's really important to figure out what to do with your leftovers because, as he so delicately put it, quote, between Thanksgiving and Christmas is one of the highest suicide rates. And I think part of that is the stress of what are you going to do with these leftovers? Oh, my God. Okay, imagine you're the news anchor who's doing that segment. OK. Mm hmm.

And the celebrity chef has just given you that statistic. Mm hmm. And then says, I think a lot of that is because people don't know what to do with leftovers. What would you fucking say to that? OK. So that's a good question. So my whole reason, the reason I never wanted to go with it, but there's this pressure to just go with what you're saying. Absolutely. And that's what I don't like about it.

Yeah. Is that it's also fake. Yeah. Because I can tell you if I was a reporter at a really small town newspaper. I was obviously not above covering the Chef Gherky's of the world. I would have covered Chef Gherky for sure if he'd come to town. But like the thing about being in print is when someone says something ridiculous, you can look into them deeper. You know, I don't know. Yeah.

So that didn't answer your question at all. I don't know what I would do in that situation yeah i would hope it would just be a huge lesson for me like holy shit i need to vet people better yeah but like the so this is my this is my issue with it uh-huh because well okay, well, okay. So maybe, and I could be wrong, because I don't know how these things work, like, behind the scenes. The anchor who is interviewing them, are they the person who set up this appearance on the show? Are they the person who should have vetted them? Or have they been pulled into something, and they are now having to go along? It probably depends on the station.

It probably depends on how big the news team is. But even if you're not the one who set it up, you should probably have some level of preparation before you go into an interview. At least just like a little preparation age. Oh, hilarious. It's a hemorrhoid joke. Don't suffer in silence okay

but no i would also i would hope that you would also have the power to know when to bail out yeah i will say though the brilliance of these pranksters is you start off yeah a little weird and you can tell the anchors are hoping, oh, this is going to turn around, this is going to turn around. And then someone's doing a headstand and opening the other person's legs in front of their face. Talking about going to the Best Buy parking lot. Or the Home Depot parking lot.

Yeah. Fingers crossed it's at the curbs, though. Fingers crossed. Got to make that phone call. Bring your $5 or nothing yeah yeah and your twig yeah you get half off yeah so they came up with this fake chef yeah the yo-yo master and as you already know nick and joe later came up with the characters chop and steal so footage from these ridiculous interviews quickly became popular with everyone except for you. Yes.

Nick and Joe aired clips from their Chop and Steel appearances during the Found Footage Festival performances. They put clips of the footage on their DVDs, which they sold through their website. By that point, they'd been doing the found footage festival for like 15 years. Oh, wow. And then in the spring of 2017, about four months after their appearance on Hello Wisconsin, Nick and Joe found out via the New York Post that they were being sued in federal court. By who? For what? What do you think? Fraud?

Yeah. Yeah. Evidently, WEAU's parent company, Gray Television, was not happy about the pranks. Yeah. I mean, you know how I feel. Yeah. Instead of hiring better journalists to run their morning news shows, or just training their existing journalists,

they sued. Wow. And why not? Gray television is huge. It owns 180 stations across 113 U.S. markets. Wow. They have tons of money. Yeah. Deep, deep pockets. So why not sue two comedians for fraud, deep pockets. So why not sue two comedians for fraud, conspiracy to commit fraud, and copyright infringement? Oh, copyright infringement. I was surprised you guessed fraud, but didn't get copyright infringement. Copyright infringement? What did they? Well, they have a weak argument for it. Okay. So their whole thing is going to be like you took these clips you put them on okay but i would argue that it's fair use yeah yeah um even parody law probably protects yeah yeah yeah you think this is maybe a free speech first amendment thing yeah i would like to read you part of the court filing, if I may.

Okay. Using fake names and materials, defendants fraudulently induced gray television station WEAU in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, to book their appearance for a live interview on its flagship morning program, Hello, Wisconsin. Defendants Pruer and Pickett appeared on the program as the fake strongman duo Chop and Steel and performed ridiculous bits and provided false information to WEAU viewers. Defendants intentionally defrauded the station for the purpose of misappropriating its production resources to advertise the Found Footage Festival, to advertise the Found Footage Festival brand, merchandise, website, and upcoming live shows.

As Pruer and Pickett have made clear in subsequent interviews, the purpose of perpetrating this fraud was not, quote, driving a big point home. They were just trying to, quote, entertain themselves and decided that local broadcast stations were easy to exploit. Yeah. See, I think this is pretty rich because you should have fucking vetted them. Yes. That's on you. Absolutely.

Yeah. I don't love what they did. And like, to be clear, my, the thing that makes me uncomfortable is that somebody who maybe was just told some some anchor who was told this is the segment you're taking and i don't again i don't know how this works behind the scenes got thrown into this unsuspectingly thinking it had been vetted whatever that's what makes me uncomfortable but this is the this is on the news station they should have vetted this right i think this is bullshit right. And it's embarrassing that they are suing. Yes. Yeah. It's on you for not vetting the people you brought on the show. You fucked up. Yes. You don't get to sue for this. Yeah. The other thing is like what's really obnoxious to me about this is there are and especially when this this lawsuit was coming out, there was all this stuff about fake news, fake news, fake news. And it was so upsetting. Yeah.

Because, you know, the vast majority of journalists are just people who want to inform their communities, whatever. You know, it's not some evil thing. But then, wow, something like this happens. You're like, God god they look like fucking idiots yeah they look like absolute idiots yeah anyway yeah the point is the lesson is for the tv station yeah yes nick and joe were terrified of this lawsuit technically joe said that it was hilarious and frightening all at the

same time. They had zero experience with the legal system when they got served. Joe said he only knew what that meant because of the opening scene of Pineapple Express. Oh, yeah. Joe and Nick got the movie. Yeah, I've never seen it. Joe and Nick got them. That's a movie, Kristen. Yeah, I've never seen it. But I knew you would have. Yes. So I included that for you.

Joe and Nick got themselves a lawyer as quickly as they could. They picked a guy named Anderson Duff. Oh. And Anderson essentially told them, hey, you know, the good news is we've got a really strong case here. Yeah. Bad news is this is going to be so crazy expensive. Yeah, these guys have super deep pockets. The people they're having to fight against.

Right. Yeah. So they launched a GoFundMe campaign. They wanted to raise 80K. They ended up raising about 25K. Oh, that's... I mean, yeah. Tough times ahead. Yeah, okay. All right. This lawsuit dragged on as lawsuits tend to do, and it was really hard on

them. The documentary showed them traveling around doing their shows, and you know, they always had a pretty good crowd, but Nick and Joe were clearly struggling. First off, they drove everywhere together. Oh, yeah. Sounds terrible. Yeah. And Joe's very gassy. He's farting in the car. Yeah, so Joe tends to be more on the gross side.

Nick, he once was with a woman for 11 years and never farted in front of her. Wait, so you're saying I'm the Nick and you're the Joe? Absolutely not. How dare you? They also shared hotel rooms. Don't get your own rooms, guys. Part of me is like, okay, is this a dude thing? Like, I don't know. This is, to me, no.

No, hard no. We're not sharing a room. My suicide rate would spike as if I had too many leftovers. So much turbo gravy you didn't know what to do with. One place they stopped was called the Smile Inn. And in the lobby, and I'm using the word lobby very generously. And in the lobby, and I'm using the word lobby very generously, the Smile Inn had a sign that read, after three minutes, there will be absolutely no refunds. I'm sorry for the long pause, but Brandi and I are giving each other very meaningful looks.

Oh, my gosh. Is that not the most disgusting thing you've ever heard? I would turn around and walk away. What if you were in a very expensive lawsuit and you couldn't afford any better? Oh my gosh. I think I'd rather sleep in my car with Farty Joe. Or Farty Kristen, as it were. The tiny silver lining in this story is that the lawsuit caught people's attention yeah so i think this is funny you know how people are always talking about

oh frivolous lawsuits and it's never really that way this is this is a frivolous lawsuit it absolutely is massive company was suing these guys because they were embarrassed yes they were embarrassed yes so vice media started looking into this story and they said that you know It absolutely is. This massive company was suing these guys because they were embarrassed. Yes, they were embarrassed. Yes. So Vice Media started looking into this story and they said that, you know, basically, although news shows get pranked all the time. Yeah. This was the first example that they could find of a media outlet launching a retaliatory. Did I say that right?

Yeah, retaliatory. Retaliatory, yeah. Lawsuit against someone. Yeah. I mean, this is, this was pretty wild. Yeah. So the lawsuit got some news coverage and, you know, none of it was flattering toward gray television.

Yeah. And then the depositions started. And they were kind of entertaining. Oh, boy. The attorneys for gray television were, of course, dead serious. Yeah. And Nick and Joe, like they were taking this seriously, too. It's clear they were miserable in these depositions. But, you know, some of these questions were kind of hard to navigate. So, for example, a lot of this lawsuit was obviously about fraud. And there's this video

from the deposition where Joe looks just exhausted. And he's trying to explain why he thought that Chop and Steel were such an obvious joke. Yeah. And he said, Nick and I clearly are not strong men. We do not look strong. Lawyer, what's a strong man? Joe. A bodybuilder? Strong man.

Nick was, of course, deposed too, and he was asked about an email that he wrote about the prank. And the lawyer read him part of his own email. And here's how that went. Lawyer. You wrote, quote, also, those fuckers work from 4 a.m. to 10 a.m., end quote. Who were you referring to when you said fuckers? Nick. I don't know, but I assume whoever he sent the press release to.

Yeah. Lawyer. Do you use the term fuckers a lot? Yes. That's what he said. Now, I didn't see this all mashed together. But I believe the lawyer then asked him, like, who do you call fuckers? And he had to go through a list of, like, I've called my niece and nephew fuckers.

Lots of people. I've called so many people fuckers in my life. So I'm with you, Nick. And now you're going to have to go through a list of all of them. Sit here for 12 hours. I've referred to my children as fuckers. Well, that's because you're a terrible person. I am not.

We all have those moments. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes, we do. Yeah. I've only called them fuckers lovingly, I promise. And only to their faces. Never to their faces.

Because you don't want to badmouth people behind their back. So this sucked. But they also got a lot of good press. Yeah. It's funny. So Nick seemed way more okay with it. Joe didn't. I think.

Wait, I got them mixed up in my head. Joe was way more okay with it. Joe didn't. I think. Wait, I got them mixed up in my head. Joe was way more okay with it. Gassy Joe was good with it. Poor Joe. Yeah. Although Joe, that's kind of his vibe. Okay. He was the one, before they went on the news shows, he purposely shaved his neck to show his double chin.

his neck to show his double chin. And he actually wanted to shave his head in like a male pattern baldness thing. But his wife said no. But I do think like part of it might be. So Joe's married. His wife works in TV. I wonder if maybe financially this wasn't quite as scary for him. Because Nick seemed to be the more conservative when it came to this lawsuit.

And like, yeah, OK, we're getting publicity, but this really is scary and it sucks. But, you know, they got on Tosh.0. They were on Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, all the fucking Jimmys. Jimmys. Those fuckers. And watch it. Fucking jimmies. Jimmies.

Those fuckers. And watch it. And all of a sudden, this lawsuit over a strongman prank was turning into a big conversation about the First Amendment. Was this protected speech? Surely this was protected speech. Yes. Okay, yeah. It probably won't surprise you to hear that gray television came a-knocking because, you know, this wasn't good for them. Yeah.

They wanted to settle the lawsuit but as a condition of the settlement they wanted nick and joe to issue a public apology to them uh-huh and of course it had to be crafted by gray television i would like to read part of Please. Journalists like the morning crew at WEAU and other gray television stations have a difficult and important job. We now appreciate that in not telling WEAU journalists Chop and Steele were fake performers, that we undermined the hard work of these journalists. That certainly was not our intention. Fuck off. That's what they said. You didn't fucking vet them.

Right. That's your fucking fault. You undermined your own. Yourselves. And being a journalist is a very, very tough job. Yeah. But clearly they got caught not doing just the most basic work. So that's embarrassing.

Yeah. So here's what the attorneys for Gray Television wanted. They wanted Nick and Joe to issue that public apology and agree that from that point on they would never speak about the case again. Wow. Yeah. And Nick and Joe were like, go fuck yourselves. No. Nick said that that apology sounded like the kind of thing they would read if they had a gun to their heads.

Yeah. And the funny fucking truth is that they wanted to settle the lawsuit. Yeah. Of course they did. They talked about how funny it would be for this thing to go to trial. Yeah. Maybe they'd get some formal bandanas. Who knows?

for this thing to go to trial. Yeah. Maybe they'd get some formal bandanas. Who knows? But they, you know, they didn't have that kind of money. Yeah. But they also didn't want to settle for a shitty deal. So this thing just kept going. And in the meantime, your favorite program, America's Got Talent, came a knocking.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, they wanted to have Chop and Steel on the show. Holy shit. Okay, what are your thoughts on this? Do it. Why? Because it'd be funny. Why?

Well, because now I know that it's a prank. It's not just two doofuses who were embarrassing themselves. But if you know it's a prank, then it's not funny. If you know it's a prank, it's not a prank. I guess that's true. I don't know. I would watch it knowing they were playing characters.

I would watch that. Okay. Me thinking it's two guys who are embarrassing themselves, I couldn't watch that. Right. You can watch it knowing that they are two guys playing characters, but someone in there has to be getting pranked. Right. Otherwise, they're just two guys going up there smashing Easter baskets. Yeah, which is funny, though.

Okay, so this created some tension between Joe and Nick. Joe was flat out against it. Yeah. So his viewpoint was the whole point of Chop and Nick. Joe was flat out against it. Yeah. So his viewpoint was the whole point of Chop and Steal is that it's a prank. Okay. And the people from America's Got Talent know it's a prank. So it's not funny anymore. So where's the joke?

There's no joke anymore. Yeah. Now, Nick was more on your side. He was like, you know, hey, this is going to give us a way bigger platform. We need to get the word out about the Found Footage Festival. Yeah. This could help. Yeah.

But it was Joe's wife who has the worst name, but also the best opinion. What's her name? Her name is Albertina. Oh, yeah. She seems very cool. Yeah. But we can all agree. Yeah, it's a tough name. It's a tough name. Yeah. But we can all agree. Yeah.

It's a tough name. It's a tough name. Yeah. She said about the America's Got Talent invitation, quote, I was vehemently against it because I think it's a shitty show. And I work for NBC. So sorry, but it's a shitty show. I mean, it is a shitty show. Of course it is.

I told you about that pumpkin man, not David S. Pumpkins. Excuse me. Norm's grandma loves this show. Yeah. And when we go up to visit her, we have been known to watch this program. I think it's a good program to watch when there's like multiple generations in the room because

you can all react to the acts whatever. My complaint about it is that the program is two fucking hours long. Yeah. It's a lot. So much talent. Yeah, it's a lot. Too much talent. They didn't really pack that talent in.

Who's your favorite judge on the show? Oh, I don't know. Mel B was a judge for a long time. I liked her. Of Spice Girls fame. Yeah. Anyone you didn't like? How do you feel about Simon Cowell?

He's actually fine now. Oh, has he changed? Yeah, since he had a kid, he's like totally different. He like cries now and oh okay yeah good for him yeah growth right we love to see the growth yeah um ultimately nick and joe ended up going on america's got talent do you know simon cowell story? What's his story? Didn't he get like his best friend's wife pregnant?

Wasn't that? Oh, I did hear something like that. Dear God. Yeah. When was this? I don't know. This might not even, what if I just made this up? It'd be like the time I thought that Tom Hanks collected.

Please bleep that. So they went on America's Got Talent. Okay. How'd it go? Okay. I'm debating how to tell you this. Okay. I'm just going to tell you how it goes. Okay. They did their chopping steel bit, basket stomping, the sledgehammer saw thing. Yeah. That's great to look at. And Mel B, during this act, turned to Howie Mandel and said, I don't get it. Is this comedy? Uh-huh. And then, as they were standing there ready to hear the judges' critiques, Chop and Steele pissed themselves. That's the prank?

On stage. The prank is that they pissed their pants? In front of a studio audience. I don't like it. I can't handle it. Brandi can barely sit still right now. I can't handle it. I can't handle it. Here's how that went. Howie Mandel.

Oh, look. He's peeing. He's peeing. He's peeing. Nick. This will happen. This will happen. Simon Cowell. Did you get nervous during that?

There's something on your trousers. Oh, my gosh. Nick. You're going to want to see what we do in round two. Oh, my gosh. Simon. you're going to want to see what we do in round two. Oh my gosh. Simon, this is so uncomfortable. Yes, Simon, I agree. Nick, it happens. Simon, oh my god. As soon as they got off stage, a producer asked them, is that real pee or was that water? And Joe was like, it's real pee.

He tried to say that they had an accident. Oh, no. He tried to be like, don't worry. We've been drinking water all day, so it's, like, mostly water. Oh, boy. Which Nick Waiter was like, no, that's piss, man. Like, that's piss. Ultimately, none of their performance made it on the air.

There's, like, a tiny clip of the two of them stomping on a basket, and that's all that aired. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so what are your thoughts on that i mean i hate it like yeah yeah so my opinion is it sounds to me like they tried to compromise yeah and sometimes when you compromise yeah you wind up with shit yeah this time piss, but yes. Yeah, I kind of agree. So I agree with Joe that it's not funny if everyone knows it's a prank. So you've got to think of something. You think pee in the pants is not the thing?

I don't think that's a thing. Okay. And part of it is, oh gosh, there's just so much writing on it. What if they had set like a little fire and then peed it out? Would that have worked better? Okay. One of their dads, and I can't remember whose dad it was, but I love this. So they interviewed the parents after this America america's got talent thing and one of their dads was like well i think it's

important to note that they you know he peed in his pants and the mom is like well yeah and he goes well i'm just saying he didn't take anything out of his pants and what yeah we get it he just wanted you to know that he didn't he didn't't whip it out. His son didn't expose himself. And that does make it better. Albertina was not on board with this prank. Uh-huh. She didn't like it? No, she specifically said, this is a family show and urination isn't funny.

Yeah. Oh. Can be. I agree. Yeah. Oh. Can be. I agree. Yeah. I don't think it landed in this case. No, yeah. Yeah, and so in the end, like, they kind of both lost

because they had a terrible experience. They had to hold their pee in all day. And also, they didn't really get any publicity. Yeah, because they never made it to the show. But the good news is that this story does not end in a puddle of piss. That is good news. Or mostly water in this case. In the spring of 2018, the charges against Nick and Joe were dismissed with prejudice.

Okay. Which meant that the legal battle was completely over. Gray Television had been formally told to get the fuck out of there with their stupid lawsuit. So with the lawsuit officially resolved, Nick and Joe released a statement that I would like to read now. Yes, please. Friends, the lawsuit is officially over. After almost a full year of Gray TV aggressively pursuing their losing case, they finally wised up and settled. This is a big win for us. Gray TV was asking us to cover all of their legal fees, for us to make a public apology,

and all sorts of other preposterous things, and because of your generous donations, we were able to hire a lawyer and stand up to them. Every single dollar you donated went to pay our legal bills and keep us afloat over the past year. The lawsuit was dismissed with prejudice, meaning it cannot be retried. And this sets an important precedent for others who want to point out the absurdity of the news, whether they're wearing Zubaz workout pants or not. Did I say it right that time? Zubaz? Zubaz? Zubas. Zubas. Joe and I cannot thank you enough for all your support over the past year. The Found Footage Festival would not have been able to continue if it weren't for your contributions,

so from the bottom of our hearts, thanks. We are reinvigorated and will redouble our efforts to put news stations to the test in the dumbest way possible. Will a particularly incompetent cat trainer make the rounds on local stations later this year? Time will tell. In the meantime, thanks again. And as always, give thanks for strengths. And that is the story

of Chop and Steve! Oh my gosh, that was wild! I feel like you went on a real emotional journey. I did. I did go on an emotional journey there. I was so uncomfortable at the beginning of it. And in the middle and in the end. Yeah, all the way through, really. Meanwhile, I have never laughed harder while researching a case.

Yeah, that's absolutely your brand of comedy. Yeah. It was so good. Yeah. Mm-mm- brand of comedy. Yeah. It was so good. Yeah. Yeah, I think that is absolutely a frivolous lawsuit. And I'm so glad that it was thrown out. Yes. I hate that they had to go through any trouble.

Yes. Because that was so stupid. Yes. I love that they had to pee their pants in front of Howie Mendo. That makes me uncomfortable. I know. Would it make you more comfortable if we did an ad? It would.

And we're back. Doodaloo. Should we take some questions from the Discord? Yes. But tell me more. Tell me more. Like, does he have a car? And how do you questions from the Discord? Yes, but tell me more, tell me more. Like, does he have a car? And how do you get in the Discord? To get in the Discord, all you have to do is join our Patreon at the $5 level or higher.

And then when we record, we ask for questions, and then we pop in here, and we answer a few on the show. Ooh, TheGingerSnapped asks, are either of you road trip people or do you prefer to fly for long distance trips? I love road trips. I do too. That's like my favorite thing. I would much prefer to drive than fly. Yeah, I really hate flying. Yeah, I don't like flying either. The funny thing is, I'm not afraid of flying. No, neither am I. I am afraid

of how the airplane smells. Yes. Well, you had that experience. Oh, God. But I, okay, I didn't like the way airplanes smelled even before that man shat his pants on an airplane. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I get, I get real anxious about logistics and I am not in control of the logistics at an airport. And so... You can't even handle parking in the city. That's true. I cannot. Yeah, so driving is the way for me. logistics at an airport and so you can't even handle parking in the city that's true i cannot

yeah so uh driving is the is the way for me and i yeah i love a road trip i like road trip snacks i like car games i like the whole kit and caboodle as they say hell yeah yeah you pack a nice big cooler do you oh yeah oh yeah yeah we're yeah. Yeah. We're Midwestern gals. We were taught by Sheree Ray. Yes. Yes. Sheree Ray is the reason why we both always have to have Twizzlers on our trips. Yes.

It took us a while to put this together, but my mom would always have Twizzlers. Always. And for some reason, we were just, you know, now as adults. Yeah. We've been conditioned to expect Twizzlers on our road trips. Is this what grooming is? She right-right groomed us. Don't say that. She groomed us to expect Twizzlers on road trips.

That's as sinister as it gets. That's right, folks. Ooh, Cashew in the Rain wants to know, I'm so glad you're prioritizing your work-life balance. What are some special things you've each had time to do lately that you wouldn't have been able to do during the two-topic episode era? Yeah. So just this weekend, like, I got to spend the whole weekend with my family. We went to the pool twice. David and I are watching a show.

Like before I wouldn't have made the time for any of those things. Like I would have thought – like I would have worked one of those things in somewhere along the weekend. But then the whole time I would have been thinking about like what things I was not getting done because I was doing that. And so it was just – it was wonderful to just be present with my children and my husband it was wonderful hell yeah yeah yeah yeah it it has been so nice like I was telling norm so normally on Tuesdays and especially Wednesday mornings, I'm like running wild. And today I was like, you know, I've been working on this chocolate steel case for like two weeks now. Yeah, exactly. Just a little bit every day. Like I'm fine.

Yeah. It feels so nice to just feel more relaxed all the time. Now the downside is I have more time. Right. To sit around and think. is I have more time to sit around and think. And so, you know, I had been thinking, well, I'll have time to work on my book.

I've been so scared to work on it. The fear of failure is intense. I think that's super normal. And I think that, like, this new format is still so new that we are... No, I want it to be perfect right away. Yeah. No, we still got to figure it out. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think that's totally normal. Got to work through my fear of failure. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very real thing. Absolutely. All right. Ma'am, you have a built in audience who can't wait to read whatever the fuck you put out there. That is.

So that is tremendous. That is tremendous. No, that that has been really good. I think, like, for me, so if anyone's kind of newish or hasn't memorized the details of my life, which why wouldn't you have done that by now? So, like, I wrote a book. Yeah. And I feel like a year or so into the podcast, maybe two years into the podcast, I, like, got an agent. We were shopping it around to different publishers yeah this was like my one goal in life that I'd always had was to write a novel and oh my gosh I'd done it and I

was happy with the novel and yeah I have this big agent blah blah and then no one wanted to publish it right and I think part of it was like maybe I didn't fully mourn that because the advice is always just start writing your next one. Yeah, absolutely. Because we'll sell that one and then you'll sell the first one. And yeah, of course. You know, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

Bottom line, don't wallow. Yeah. I think maybe I needed to wallow for a while. Yeah, absolutely. So I wrote a new book. That one sucked. I did a new version of that one. That one still sucked.

Now I'm working on a version that I actually really like. Yeah. But I'm only like a third of the way into it. Yeah. And I'm just realizing like I think part of the reason why it's going so slowly is like I am I am focusing on the quality. Of course. That's important. Yeah. But also like I'm I'm pretty fucking terrified about what's going to happen when I get to the end. Of course you are. I think that's all very natural. And I do think this at this point, like if I don't get it published traditionally, I'll

do self-publishing because people want to read your book and they would buy the shit out of it. Well, and I feel good about this book so far. Yeah. The first third of it. Yeah. are yeah first third of it yeah so I think I will do that just because like I don't know so much of content creation is just the part about like letting people see what you did absolutely that's the scariest it is the scariest but it's also the part that keeps you going yeah so yeah

there you have it. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you looking at me like that? Because I think that first of all, I think that your first book is way better probably than you think it is. And people would fucking love it. So I went back and started to reread it a bit. And I do think it's good. I like I think it's a page turner. Yeah. But I'm like, okay, that's the best book I could write in 2017. Mm-hmm. But I think the book I'm writing now is the best book that I can write in 2023. Yeah. And it's better.

Yeah. So I want to go with that one. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Quit smiling at me never oh justin82 asks brandy which would be worse a lackluster museum or a lackluster gift shop see i think a lackluster museum can be saved by a good gift shop so i think i'd be you're all about the gift i know so a bad gift shop. So I think I'd be. You're all about the gift shop. I know.

So a bad gift shop would be way more upsetting to me than a bad museum. Yeah. Because imagine how tragic you go to an amazing museum. You love it. You're like, I need proof that I was here. Yes. And you go. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. And shit I want there. Yeah. Just a bunch of keychains that say Caitlyn. They never have my name on fucking anything. Never. I am so... I feel like this is the chorus of my childhood, Kyla complaining.

Yes. They never have my name. Yes. Ooh, Gourmet Cat Food asks, Brandy, were you scared to have London? My husband and I really want a kid, but everyone in my family is saying your life will be over. You'll never be able to do anything. And I value my autonomy. Thanks a lot, family.

I value my autonomy so much. I'm such an independent person and have important hobbies as well as my career. I can't tell if they're fear mongering or if I am not meant to be a mom slash am not ready. This is what I will tell you. I knew my entire life that like my number one goal for myself, my number one dream for myself was to become a mother I wanted that from a very young age teen mom was a real inspiration stop it and then that didn't happen for a really long time yeah and then I thought there was it would never happen and then surprise surprise I got pregnant with London and it was I mean the happiest moment of my life finding out that I was pregnant with her.

Like, I can remember the moment I took the pregnancy test and, like, I had never before had a positive experience with a pregnancy test. So, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Just, like, from that moment, just flooded with happiness. And even still, there was a moment when I was pregnant with her, when I was like, maybe two months from having her. And I was like, holy shit, have we made a horrible mistake here? Yeah. Our lives are going to be so different. And that point David had a son we have Jackson

we have him but we have him half the time essentially and so half the time we were kid free yeah but knowing that we were about to have London we have her 100 percent of the time yeah and so I was like oh my gosh like our life will never be the same. But that is not my experience at all since having her. Our life is so much as much the same as we want it to be. Like there's this wonderful balance we have now of having like family time and time with just London and time where London goes and stays with my parents or my sister or whoever. And we have me and David time like, yeah, there is this beautiful balance that can exist. And so. No, I do think your family is fear mongering a little bit. I mean, I don't know their motivation

behind what they're saying, but no, if you you you can have as much of your, of your life now as you want to, as if you figure out how to balance it. I think it's such a tricky thing. Yeah. Deciding whether to have kids and like, especially when other people's opinions get thrown into the mix. I don't know. It can be kind of rough. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like a mind fuck for sure. Absolutely. My, the thing I struggle with is loving kids so much. Yeah.

I'm like, man, my niece and nephew. Yes. I love them like crazy. Being around London is fun. Like the time we were over there for the basketball game and David was like, you know,

you don't have to play with her. And it's like, no, I would rather play with this kid. I'm not watching this basketball game. Yeah. Like for me, loving kids that much, but at the same time kind of feeling like, gosh, I have never wanted one of my own. And there's always that worry of like, well, am I going to change my mind? Yeah. Might be too late.

I'm down to the one fallope. Down to the one fallope. That's right. No. So Casey is very similar. Casey was like, it's not for me. I don't, you know, having kids is not for me. But she's obsessed with London.

London is her favorite human on the planet. Like she loves spending time with her. But she also loves giving her back after work. It really is the best. Yes. Yeah, you've got all the energy for the kids. Do whatever. So I don't know.

I don't know what advice I'm making is that your feelings are very natural to just wonder if you can if you're making the right decision or if your life can possibly look the same. I think those are totally natural fears. Yeah. And I don't know what the advice is. Yeah. I mean, it's almost it would be weird if you didn't have those thoughts. Yeah, I totally agree. You'd probably be really dumb, right?

I can't I can't imagine not having those thoughts. Like when I tell you, like, it was the best day of my life to find out I was finally pregnant and finally going to be a mom. And still, I had a moment where I was like, have I made a horrible mistake? Yeah. I think it's very natural. Did you have any, like, postpartum stuff? And if you don't want to. No. So really, I did have I didn't have I never dealt with, like, postpartum depression. Yeah. Did you have any like postpartum stuff? And if you don't want to. No.

So really I did have I didn't have I never dealt with like postpartum depression. Yeah. I had terrible postpartum anxiety though. OK. And I there was a period about three months after I had London. Maybe like a three to six month period where like any time I was away from London or David, I was just like horribly anxious. Yeah. And yeah.

And so I think I dealt with that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Like figuring out how to still exist. Like as. Well, it's scary. Yeah. It's scary.

Yeah. The whole world is off somewhere away from you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I just like the minute I would drop London off, I wasn't calm again until I was back with London and David. Like, and London was with my parents. Like, it wasn't about where she was. It was just.

Well, your parents are terrible people. Who knows what they're up to? London, let's play with the stove. Right. I mean, the parent anxiety does not go away. I mean, I told you last night I had a dream that she fell out of a tree. Yeah. And no one cared but you.

And no one cared but me. Exactly. Which seems about right, you know? Ooh, Kristen, this is for you. SinNits wants to know, Kristen, were you and Norm nervous before your parents moved in? My brother-in-law is getting divorced and is moving into my basement very soon, and I'm having a hard time preparing to share my space with someone other than my husband. Any advice? Okay. You know what? Weirdly, we weren't. But that's because of the weird timing of when my

parents temporarily moved in with us. That was like in COVID times. And so I remember the first day they moved in, we all just sat around yeah for like hours and hours and hours and i remember it was so exciting because like we had people in the house yes you know because it's it was just me and norm yeah in the house for god yeah forever a long time so yeah i i don't know i feel like it just it doesn't apply because for us it was like oh my gosh people are around yeah um okay I will tell you that I had the experience of basically being your brother-in-law kind of this one this person who asked the question not your brother-in-law. I'm not Jay. I was going to say, you can't pull it off. When I was a young,

engaged woman, right as I graduated cosmetology school, right before I got married to my first husband, we lived in his parents' basement for like four months. It's a dream. It was very, very

nice of them to allow us to do that. Of course. It was a wonderful thing for them to do for us. But, yeah, it's really hard not having your own space. Yeah. So and so I mean, even being you, the host person. Yeah, it's hard giving up some of your space. So I think that's personally, I think it's easier to be the host.

I think so too. I think the person visiting, like nothing is theirs. They are in somebody else's space all the time. So however nervous you are feeling, I bet that your brother-in-law is feeling more nervous. Yeah, I would assume as well. Anyway. Okay.

Bethany asks, sand? Thoughts? I know a lot of people hate the feeling, but it's so soft. I can't understand why. I'd legit have floors of sand in my dream house. What? Like I'd for real sleep on it as my bed. No, see, the thing about sand is that it's not that people don't like the feel of sand.

It's that it gets fucking everywhere. Right? Isn't that what people hate about sand? Yeah, that you can't get rid of it when you're done with it. Exactly. Yeah, I love being on a beach, love digging my toes in the sand. You do grippy toes in the sand. You ever do that?

Everyone does grippy toes. Yeah, everybody loves grippy toes in the sand. It feels amazing. What a ridiculous question. But then when you get back to your house, if you live near the beach or the place that you're staying, fucking sand everywhere. In all of your crevices

as well. Brandy does the grabby butthole in the sand. Stop it! Stop it! What I like to do when I come back from the beach is I go to Brandy's bathroom. That way it still feels kind of like the beach. Stop it!

Ooh, Fistmired Gun says, don't judge me on this, LOL, but I need to know which version of Golf Solitaire Brandy plays. I looked it up and there are so many, but it sounds so fun. I don't even know. Let me look real quick. I am judging you just for the record. You can't tell me not to judge you. It is Fairway Solitaire by Big Fish Games. That is the one that I'm playing.

And that's how to be cool in front of your friends. Should we end on that note? Yes, absolutely. What a cool way to wrap it up. And now we shall read your names and your first celebrity crushes for our Supreme Court induction. Yeah, we will as soon as I get to the current episode,

which I of course know is episode 263. And I am here. I am not. How do you get inducted? To get inducted on this podcast, all you have to do is join our Patreon at the $7 level or higher. Lily Gaylor. The man with the yellow hat from Curious George. That is a new one, Lily.

Gotta be unique, don't you? Hannah Cox. Nate Richard. Olivia Farr. Ryder Strong. Helene. JTT. Julie.

Justin Timberlake. Emily Kelly. Seth Green. Rachel Sincere. Christian Slater and Wynonna Ryder. Faith Boyer Rachel Sincere. Christian Slater and Winona Ryder. Faith Boyer. Zac Efron. Alexis.

Cole Sprouse. Kate Gibson. Ryan Merriman. Mm-hmm. He was like mine. Who is that? He's this actor. I saw him in Deep End of the Ocean when I was like, I don't know, probably 12 or 13.

Pretty transformative experience for you, huh? Was. All right. He played a kid who'd been kidnapped as a small child, and then his birth family located him when he was a teenager. Okay. But he didn't want to live with them. He wanted to live with the family that had kidnapped him.

You love a story like that. So he didn't know he was kidnapped. You love a story like that. It was good. Lindsay Mast. Carrie Elwes. Robin Hood in Robin Hood Men in Tights. Allie.

Zachary Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. Do you, what? Ma'am. You mean Jonathan Taylor Thomas? I'm starting to suspect you didn't love him at all. You mean Jonathan Taylor Thomas? I'm starting to suspect you didn't love him at all. Wait, I think the kid that played Brad was named Zachary something.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's a little mix-up here. Jen I. Michael J. Fox. Lizzie Cochran. Elijah Wood. Meg G. Kevin Richardson.

Bianca G. Usher. Allie Richardson. Bianca G. Usher. Allie Vine. Heath Ledger. Angie Cross. Oh, yeah. Heath Ledger was yours. Yes.

Yes. And only mine. Allie, thank you very much. Angie Cross. Joey McIntyre. Abby Edgeworth. Taylor Lautner. Emily.

Nikki Byrne. Ariel. Brendan Fraser. Hunter, Greg Brady, Stephanie Lyons, Leonardo DiCaprio, Pamela Grooms, Christopher Atkins. Welcome

to the Supreme Court! Thank you. Thank you everyone for all of your support. If you're looking for other ways to support us, please, please. Please find us on Patreon. On social media.

We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Patreon. Please remember to subscribe to the podcast. Put on your performance face. Listen. And then, what did I say? Performance face. Oh, it's fine. Performance face.

I'll be there at night. Anyway, please leave us a five-star rating and review, and then be sure to join us next week when you'll be an expert on a whole new topic. Podcast adjourned! And by you, I mean you, the listeners,

so work on it. You better work, bitch. And now for a note about our process. Right, sorry. For this episode, I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitated it all back up in my very limited vocabulary. So I owe a huge thank you to the real experts. I got my info from the documentary Chop and Steal,

the court record, Vice.com, and some truly glorious clips on YouTube. Any errors are, of course, ours, but please don't take our word for it. Go read their stuff. Woo!