Let's Go To Court! - 48: Holiday Crimes!

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

Around the holidays, a lot of people bake cookies for their neighbors. It’s supposed to be a nice, friendly gesture. But boy, can it backfire! Teenagers Taylor Ostergaard and Lindsey Zellitti learned that lesson the hard way when they anonymously left a plate of cookies at Wanita Young’s house. Their late night cookie drop scared the crap out of Wanita. She was so shaken that she went to the hospital the next day, suffering from what appeared to be a heart attack. Then Brandi tells us about the time Santa robbed a bank. The robbery took place on December 23, 1927, in Cisco, Texas. A man dressed as Santa Claus entered First National Bank. His armed accomplices followed. Together, the men terrorized the customers and emptied the bank’s safe. Afterward, Santa and his gang took off. What followed was the largest manhunt Texas has ever seen.   And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases. In this episode, Kristin pulled from: The book, “The Party of the First Part: The Curious World of Legalese,” by Adam Freedman “Family says they are under attack in cookie caper,” Associated Press “Nation rallies around girls sued by neighbor over late-night cookies,” East Bay Times “Teens sued for cookie delivery to neighbor,” ABC News In this episode, Brandi pulled from: “The Santa Claus Bank Robbery” by Boyce House, Startling Detective Adventures “The Night the Posse Chased Santa Claus” by Maggie Van Ostrand, TexasEscapes.com “Santa Claus Bank Robbery” by Walter F. Pilcher, Texas State Historical Association “Santa Claus Bank Robbery” wikipedia.org

One semester of law school. One semester of criminal justice. Two experts! I'm Kristen Pitts. I'm Brandi Egan. Let's go to court! On this episode, I'll talk about the dangers of baking cookies for your neighbors. And I'll be talking about that time Santa robbed a bank.

Oh, Santa. Oh, God. Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. And Happy New Year. Yeah. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa. Merry Kwanzaa? Did I say Merry Kwanzaa?

No, I don't know what they say. Is it Happy Kwanzaa? Oh, I don't know. Well, Happy Holidays. Happy Holidays to everyone. Yes, whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate. Thanks for tuning in to this very special holiday edition of Let's Go to Court. I put up my Christmas tree just for this occasion. Oh, what have we been looking at for-

Shut up. Three weeks before this. Now the listeners don't think they're special. You get that propel nice and stirred up there kristen getting those electrolytes i need them yeah i'm feeling very lightheaded this could pass out on this episode would just be par for the course for how this day has started yeah guys just so you know how this is going brandy showed up um our previously agreed upon time which was 5pm I put it in my calendar

hold on I'm going to look at my calendar okay here we go pulling it up the lie detector says oh shit it says 5 o'clock yes damn it well the important thing is I knew

in my head it was 530. So I got back from a run at like 445, maybe 450. I was like, I've got to run. I'm going to go take a shower. I went upstairs, kind of just stood around for a second. And then I heard Norman talking to someone. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Brandi's showing up half an hour early I would never show up half an hour early how dare you

I would never like legit that would never happen because I would I would see that as being super rude um this week I showed up an hour early to something what i you know me i'm not an early person either so for my novel writing are you operating on some kind of different time zone this week christine i think i am just like something's wrong with me something's very wrong so like i don't know i was all stressed out i had this novel writing group group that I always go to on Thursdays. So like we always meet a little before five. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Like I stopped being able to like recognize time.

I got there a little before four. I don't know. And I like, I never beat her to the place. So I was like, I texted her. I was like, hey, I snagged us a booth. And Kitty was like, right now? You did this now? And I had to be like, oh, whoops.

So we'll see how we do on this episode, folks. I can't wait to see what happens. It probably won't be good. All right. Well, first things first, I do know that I'm going first. Excellent. So that's a step above. That is.

Yes. A step above what? Above that one time when we had that really awkward banter in the beginning. Yeah, where you kept waiting for me to start. Yeah, and it was my turn to start. Oops. Oops. Okay. Brandy.

Around the holidays, some people like to bake cookies for their neighbors. I don't bake them for my neighbors. Just because I don't really know my neighbors that well. How long have you lived where you've lived? Like 10 years? Yeah, what about it and both my neighbors have also lived there as long as i have so i don't know we're just not a

close neighborhood it's not really a neighborhood so kind of a weird little collection of weird just homes just like a couple of homes and then a park okay so anyway i bake cookies i think i said bake weird you said boy i bake cookies for my friends and family members and stuff like that yeah yeah you bake amazing cookies thank you i i do sometimes bake cookies for my neighbors for the holidays but man i'm about to tell you this story. Is that going to keep you from ever doing that again? This will scare the pants off of all the nice people listening to this podcast. Excellent. Prepare to get your pants blown off.

Okay, so just to be clear, this terrifying crime did not take place around the holidays but i do think it's timely because this is a time of year where you do take i see you've cheated on our holiday themed i really don't think i have because this is a timely warning for people you know okay let me just stay for a second it was your idea to do a christmas themed episode maybe it was my idea for me to listen to a christmas theme and i succeeded wonderful okay we're in durango colorado 18 year old taylor ostergaard and 19 year old lind Lindsay Zaletti were hanging out when they got an idea. Why don't we make some chocolate chip cookies and some sugar cookies and take batches to our neighbors? Excellent. Okay. So nice.

Nice? Really? It seems nice. That's one person's opinion no they said hey why don't we make this kind of fun we'll do it anonymously we'll make up these little plates and we'll put a heart-shaped note on each of the plates that say have a great night from the t and l club all right Alright. Lindsay later said, we just wanted to do something nice for other people to let them know other people care about them even though they didn't know who it was. Okay. This is shaping up oddly because I

would never eat cookies just left on my front porch by a stranger. Okay. Well, maybe you're descended from royalty or something. You're afraid of being poisoned. You would eat random cookies left on your front porch? Here's the thing. When you say it like that, I would say no. But there have been times, like at work.

I remember there was one time at work. I went to a meeting. I came back to my desk, and there was a cupcake just on my desk. No note, no nothing. No one else in the office was eating cupcakes. You looked around to see if anyone was looking and then you just inhaled it in one bite. I didn't even look around that much. I just ate it.

And it wasn't until later that I thought, God, I'd be easy to poison. Yeah. So I don't know. I might eat them. I'm pretty particular about where my food comes from. You're particular about food in general. What do you mean where it comes from? What do you?

Like, I don't. So like, say you go to a potluck. Yeah. So you go to a potluck. I typically won't eat anything that comes from a house that I've never been to before. That's probably smart. Because I don't know what conditions that was prepared in. Yeah.

No, I'm with you. I think, okay, I think big potlucks like at work and stuff are super gross. Because you just don't know. You just don't know. I'll eat something at them if I can see that it's clearly like packaged from the store. Yeah. Or if like my good work friend made it. Yeah.

Those are like the instances where I'll actually eat it. But like, okay. So for example, I bowl in a bowling league. Yes. So the Wednesday, so next, the Wednesday before Christmas, I realized we're recording this before Christmas. So some Wednesday, the Wednesday before Christmas, I realize we're recording this before Christmas. So some Wednesday, the Wednesday before Christmas, we do like, they do like a food night.

Now people know that we're not talking to them live. I think they already knew that, Kristen. People bring in treats and they put it all out on a table and whatever. I don't know any of those people. I'm not eating any of that. Never been to any of those people. I'm not eating any of that. Never been to any of their houses. Unless I can clearly tell that that was purchased and brought directly here. I'm not eating it. I admire your self-control.

I really don't have that much self-control. Obviously you do, though, because I can tell you, if i'm in a potluck situation yeah i'm kind of snobby i've kind of got my nose in the air but if something looks good enough yeah here's the other thing i also don't try dips usually because i don't like mayonnaise and i'm always worried that they're mayonnaise based you know people get those like i know people get those like dip mixes yeah And they make a dip And it's always mayonnaise based So I don't eat dips either

You're cutting yourself off from a lot of fun By not trying to dip You know what I have never been to a get together That I didn't have fun at Kristen So Now I want to invite you to some shitty get together I bring the fun with me You know Now I want to invite you to some shitty get-together. I bring the fun with me.

You know, it's true, though. You do really bring the fun. I'm trying to think if I've ever been to a get-together with you that was lame. Probably not. No, it really always has been a good time. Okay. Arrogant bastard. So Lindsay and Taylor made the cookies, got into their car and started driving around their neighborhood in rural Durango.

Their rule was if a house had its porch lights on they'd stop they'd run up to the front door knock leave the cookies and then run away at about 10 30 p.m what yes they're doing it at 10 30 p.m i'm with you so here's the thing and i can't remember the exact time frame they started i think at like 9 30 and and they just, you know, they're in this rural area. They kept going, I agree with you completely. It's too late. It's too late. It's way too late to be ringing people's doorbells.

I don't care how much thought you put into those cookies. Yeah. At about 10.30 p.m., they knocked on the door of their neighbor, Juanita Young. But here's the thing. Juanita was terrified. Her house had been burglarized not that long ago.

So she's just sitting there in her house at 1030 at night, and she sees these shadowy figures outside. Yeah, that would be terrifying. And they're banging on her door. So she yelled, who's there? Who's there? Who's there? Three times. No answer. And they said nothing. Yeah.

And so she just got out her shotgun and shot through the front door. The girls stayed silent because they wanted it to be a surprise eventually the shadowy figures ran away juanita was freaked out she immediately called the police and soon an officer arrived the officer kind of checked things out looked around and determined you know there doesn't seem to be any crime here there's no vandalism no evidence of anything sinister it's just a plate of cookies but Wanda kind of wasn't wasn't happy or I'm sorry Juanita

you are the worst at people's names. You change people's names all the time. I'm so lightheaded right now. Oh my God. Do you need to eat something? You know, okay, folks. Tell them about how you're trying to make your skeleton smaller. Here's the deal, guys. I'm super cheap.

I've got a wedding I'm going to in like two weeks. And like I went shopping for a dress, but there's one that I really like. It's a little snug. So I'm doing keto and I'm about to pass out right now. Because you have nowhere to lose weight. It's just bones. Well, I appreciate that greatly. Your skeleton takes up like a specific amount of room you can't make it smaller tell that to this dress that is hugging me in all the wrong places so yeah i uh you said i might be having the keto flu i bet you have it i might be having it too yeah how do i look though beautiful as always radiant i know that's not true because i stink real bad i can't smell you so that's good lucky for you i still have this sinus thing

oh god okay so wanda juanita yeah wandra whatever she's still freaked out her husband isn't home she felt really uneasy so she took her 86 year old mother and adult daughter and they all just spent the night at her sister's house she's like you know yeah these weirdos were at my door at 1030 knocking. Don't like it one bit. So Juanita goes to her sister's house, but she could not get herself calmed down. The next morning, she was still upset. She was shaking. Her stomach was in knots. It's kind of hard to know what was going on.

It seems like she was having a panic attack. But at any rate, she went to the emergency room with symptoms that seemed like a heart attack somehow word got out about what happened the girls found out that their attempt at this nice gesture had just scared the shit out of their neighbor and they felt awful this was totally not their intention to send their neighbor to the hospital. Taylor said, we had no idea about the burglars. We felt so horrible when we found out that we had caused someone harm

or made them feel upset. So they wrote Juanita an apology note and said essentially, we are so sorry. Yeah. Did they leave it with a plate of cookies on her doorstep at 1030 at night? At midnight they went not aggressively. They wore ski masks.

Should they not have worn ski masks? Yeah, I think that might have been what put it in. Their parents reached out and said, please, let us pay for your medical expenses. We're so sorry about all this. We insist. But months went by and things got a little weird. Both the Ostergaards and the Zoletti families were like, hey, we want to pay your medical bills.

We will absolutely do it. Just show us the bill. Yeah. And then Juanita says that they then said once we pay for your medical bills sign an agreement saying that after we pay your bill we're all squared away yeah Juanita thought about it but she didn't like that she didn't think that the girls apologies were sincere really yeah wow I know I know I think they're're going way above and beyond what would have been necessary. I agree.

Wow. Come on, Juanita. She was angry. She thought the girls needed to learn a lesson. And the best way to teach them that lesson was by saying, Let's go to court! So Juanita sued Taylor and Lindsay in small claims court. She wanted her medical expenses paid plus $3,000 in additional damages,

including for lost wages. What wages did she lose? I'm not really sure. It was hard to find the exact court documents on this, but I, you know, I, I think she was being kind of silly. Uh, yeah. Sounds like it. I also, for the record, think it was crazy to knock on someone's door at 1030. Yeah. But I mean, I think saying, oh my gosh, we're so sorry, that was never our intention. Yeah. I think that's enough.

I agree. And especially, let us pay your medical bills. Yeah. Wow. Great. Yeah, we're all squared away. Apparently not. Woo.

So they go to court. The girls had dropped off cookies at nine different houses that night. And six of the people who received the cookies wrote letters which were entered into the court record saying that they really enjoyed the cookies. Ultimately, the judge, Doug Walker, sided with Juanita, though.

He ordered Taylor and Lindsay to pay about $900 to cover Juanita's medical bills. He said they'd been out pretty late doing this. He kind of sympathized with Juanita, but he said he didn't think that Taylor and Lindsay acted maliciously. After the judge handed down his decision, Taylor sobbed. That day, neither of the girls talked to the media. They said they didn't want to say anything hurtful, so they decided not to say anything at all. Yeah.

I don't blame them. I think that's crazy. You think the judge made the wrong call? I don't. I mean, I'm glad he didn't award Juanita all that. All the extra stuff. I don't know. I think that.

I think it was a nice gesture of them to offer to pay the medical bills, but to now have it court ordered like. Yeah. I think it's kind of ridiculous. I think it's kind of ridiculous i i think it is i think you have to ask yourself what's reasonable to expect when i go and knock on somebody's door at 10 30 at night and i don't answer i think it's reasonable to expect that hey they could get kind of freaked out i don't think it's necessarily reasonable to expect oh my god they're going to get so freaked out that they're going to get so freaked out that they're going to have

a panic attack and have to go to the hospital. Exactly. You know, I don't think you can really... I totally agree. But anyway, Juanita did talk to the media.

She said, the victory wasn't sweet. I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson. Wow. Wow. Yeah. You're making a face.

You think they learned a lesson about being nice to their neighbors? That, okay, your face sums up the world's reaction to this story. Because in an actual court, Juanita won. But this story made international news in the court of public opinion the girls won yeah I agree people felt terrible for the two girls they were like oh my god they were just trying to do something nice yeah you know maybe they didn't do it the exact right way but what kind of message does this send to them? People didn't like the court verdict, so they took action. Otis Spunkmeyer.

The cookie company? Yeah, created a kindness cookie in honor of the girls. Oh, that's nice. And to generate some good PR for themselves. Of course, Kristen. Some news sources didn't name. They just said a cookie Company, and I was like, oh, that's shady. They don't want to give them any publicity. Then they gave Taylor and Lindsay a year's supply of cookie dough and countertop ovens.

The fuck's a countertop oven? I assume it's one of those ones that you're like, oh, is that a weird microwave? Oh, no, it's one of those like ones that you're like, oh, is that a weird microwave? Oh, no, it's one of those oven things. My in-laws have them. They love them. Okay. Do you know what I'm talking about? I've never had that conversation before, Kristen.

Oh, what's that? A weird microwave? No, it's one of those countertop ovens. Like a twisting nipple motion you did with your hands. I did that with one hand. You're doing it with both hands. I think you're fantasizing that I did it with both. Because you're sick Christmas.

Oh, you turned on your oven. Good God. Brandi, this is a family podcast. I don't think it is our explicit podcast is great for kids that's right no it's not please don't let your kids listen to this denver radio station koa covered the story and at one point they decided hey why don't we see if we can get people to donate enough money to cover what taylor and lindsey oh yeah and boy did they the girls only owed one e to like 900 bucks i

think it was like 930 bucks yeah but the station raised 5 000 oh that's awesome all the extra money went to a charity for columbine high shooting victims. I think this was around the early 2000s. Everybody wanted a piece of this story. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno called. So did the Today Show. But Taylor and Lindsay turned them down. Lindsay's mother said they turned down the Leno show because they were afraid he might make jokes at Juanita's expense. Wow, they really are sweet girls.

Yes, yes. Oh, that's terrible. Then John Elway reached out. Who's that, Kristen? He is a football player. Shut your mouth. Do you want to tell everyone about a jerk you were when you offered me $10,000? Do you want to tell everyone about a jerk you were when you offered me $10,000?

I offered. We were talking about basketball players the other day. I am a big college basketball fan. Not a big NBA fan, but Kansas Jayhawks, huge fan. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. And so we were talking about it at lunch the other day. And first I asked Kristen to name five NBA players. Which I did. She fabulously and then I told her I told her first of all her NBA players were all like

have been retired for 20 years so I asked her to name two current players I did that right she did it okay yeah And they were both somehow related to the Kardashians. What are you saying? I know those guys from the hours I've spent watching basketball. So then I told Kristen that I would pay her $10,000 if she could name me the, was it, did I ask for any current college basketball player? No, you were like the center. The center for the Jayhawks. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a seven foot tall. Otis Spunkmeyer. Kristen, as I predicted, could not come up with his name. You should have seen the look on her. I will give you $100 if you can remember his name right now. This conversation happened three days ago.

You know, I'm very flattered that you dropped the price so much because it shows that you feel like my memory is pretty good. I feel like there's maybe a chance you can come up with it. I remember. So it's an African name. I just told you he's maybe a chance you can come up with it i remember so it's an african name i just told you he's african did you just say it oh damn it um no i i can't as a bouquet you guys i did remember i just didn't want to take 100 from brandy this close to Christmas? She just wants to buy those Christmas shoes for her mom.

Oh, God. Oh, I hate that song. I hate that song so much. Can you bear me? God. Okay. Torture. For real torture.

Yeah. Recordings of children singing Christmas songs. Oh, yeah. yeah yeah i don't care for it also with or without you by you too i see i know you love i don't i don't like you too i am a huge music person and i know they're a huge popular band cannot stand you two wow yeah yeah i thought you were gonna fight me i'm not i knew that would surprise you because i knew you were gonna be like well i know you're a fan you like you like music you're so good at anyway so they turned it down because they didn't want anybody poking fun at juanita or wanda or anita or any of her other aliases oh then john elway reached out oh yeah yeah who i'm totally familiar with because he played

played football and um has been in many commercials ask me anything and has been in many commercials. Ask me anything. Wait, do you not know anything about John Elway? I just, Zach and I went to Colorado last year for our 10th wedding anniversary, and we had our anniversary dinner at Elway's Steakhouse, which is owned by John Elway well congratulations that sounded sarcastic i really do congratulate you too thank you uh let's see okay god i'm gonna say this for the 50th time then john alway i know i know he wanted to meet taylor and lindsey but they were like

nah really so taylor was the captain of her basketball team and they had a game so she didn't want to ditch her team and lindsey had already committed to judge a livestock show and she didn't want to go back on her word. Judging a livestock show? It said that she was, like, set to go to college in Kansas. I'm thinking K-State for sure. For sure.

Yeah. Agriculture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. Letters poured in with support for the two girls. And even though their legal expenses were already covered, people still wanted to do something. So people started donating to Taylor and Lindsay's college funds.

Wow. They also donated to scholarship funds for Columbine High School students. That's cool. Yeah. Things did not go as well for Juanita, though. Maybe because she was being an asshole. Oh, though. Maybe because she was being an asshole. Well,

you might feel like maybe her husband, Herb, was the real asshole here. Okay. Or not the real asshole. Maybe like they were a good match. What did you call him? Herb. Oh, that's right. I thought you said Herb. No, no. His real name is Parsley. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Everyone hated them. Oh. Oh, no. His real name is Parsley.

Everyone hated them. They got hate mail. That would be really rough. Yeah, no, it's... I do think she made the wrong decision, but... But yeah, you don't... Yeah. I don't think she could have predicted international hate mail. No, definitely not.

Nor is that warranted. No. Yeah. People have too much time on well and you're no better than she is yeah now yeah yeah which again i think this happened in the early 2000s so can you imagine if it happened today oh my gosh juanita and herb have no idea no idea it got so bad that they unplugged their phone at night because they were getting so many nasty from the charger it was the landline

then random people started leaving elaborately wrapped cookie baskets on their door oh shit at like three o'clock in the morning. Someone even sent them an envelope filled with Oreo crumbs. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Not cool. And a waste of an Oreo. No kidding. Maybe.

Do you know what I'd do for an Oreo right now? I can imagine. I'd turn the knobs on my oven. Turn that oven right on. I wonder if maybe it was a full Oreo when they put it in the mail and through the processing became Oreo crumbs. That's it. We're going to abandon the podcast and we're going to do a series just investigating this little crime. I think it really depends on how far it came from.

Yeah, where we ship from. Was it in a padded envelope? Because Oreos kind of stick together pretty well. They do. But if it's going through a sorting machine. Uh-huh. I'm just thinking that thing's flinging all over the place. I wish you guys could see Brandy's impression of a sorting machine.

And then there's conveyor belts. It's going up. It kind of looked like you were trying to do the walk like an Egyptian dance, but you were way too hyper. Yeah, that was my conveyor belt impression. Yeah, very good. Juanita said, I cannot believe that the American people have made superstars out of these girls.

What a terrible lesson they have learned, that they can take half-truths and, with the assistance of the media, generate such an unwarranted outpouring of sympathy and financial support. They ought to be ashamed of themselves girl back yeah i mean half truths yeah where are the half truths and like yeah they're getting a lot of sympathy and financial support. They didn't ask for any of it. No, and they didn't go on Jay Leno because they're trying to be nice. Wow. She said that the negative attention was so bad that she was thinking about resigning from her job as volunteer director of the local food bank.

She'd been running the food bank since 1990. Wow. Yeah, I think that's unnecessary, too unnecessary too like why would you stop yeah oh gosh herb told the associated press we've gotten horrendous phone calls tons of hate mail threats to our life it's horrible nobody's hurt our side i don't believe the girls meant for this to happen but they could have prevented it from happening if they just shut their mouths when they came out of court. They did. They didn't say anything.

Right. So I don't know if maybe later they did some interviews or something. Wow. He said, now they are caught in something they can't control. Which, I. Spreading kindness. Yeah. Raising money for scholarships. they can't control. Which, I, What, spreading kindness? Yeah.

Raising money for scholarships? Yeah. They lost control. Yeah. Those assholes. Yeah. So apparently,

Herb took his anger out on the girls. Taylor's parents requested a restraining order against him. They said he'd been making harassing phone calls. I'm sure he was. Yeah.

He sounds a little unhinged. He admitted that he did call the Ostergaards when he found out that Taylor and Lindsay were talking to a newspaper. Apparently, he told them the gloves were off. Okay. Again, all started with cookies, folks. Careful out there. The Ostergaards were granted a temporary restraining order against Herb Young. Things got so bad between the Youngs and the Ostergaards that they sat down together with their church elders.

So both families are Mormon. But ultimately, Herb said, I'm sorry to say that I will probably never go back to church elders. So both families are Mormon. But ultimately Herb said, I'm sorry to say that I will probably never go back to church again. Which again, why would that? Why? What is that solving? I'm not going to work at the food bank anymore. I'm not going to go to church anymore.

Why? You're the one that's making the decision to let this negatively impact your life. Do you think maybe he was just like, I kind of been looking for an excuse to not. Yeah. After all was said and done, Taylor and Lindsay said that the response after the lawsuit was really affirming. They said they'd keep performing acts of kindness and that they were really

sorry about what happened with Juanita. Lindsay said, we felt sorry for her and we still feel sorry. We didn't want to cause this lady any harm at all. The end. Wow. Yeah, I don't. I think that Herb and Juanita handled that completely wrong. I agree.

Yeah, that's terrible. This did make me think, though, one time, this was a couple years ago, we were over at my parents' house. And, you know, my parents live on quite a bit of property and they have a gate around their property. And it was like a summer night. It was like maybe, gosh, maybe 1030 at night, maybe a little later. All of a sudden there was a knock at their front door. Which to get to their front door.

Yeah, you're walking about a quarter mile. Yeah. And you'd have to get past a gate. So it was kind of like holy crap yeah luckily peanut the most vicious attack dog of all time was there and this was before the diabetes so just imagine we go we open the door peanuts going crazy and it's like five dudes what yes yes it was like five dudes standing there they had like fishing equipment and they were like oh hey and my dad was like what's going on and he's kind of like we're all i mean this was freaky, scary shit.

That's like about to be like a home invasion. Yeah. And man, these dudes could have, I mean, with no effort whatsoever. My dad was like, grab Peanut by the collar. Peanut was going nuts, but he clearly wasn't holding her back at all. I was like, okay. And they were like, you know, teens, late, early 20s. And they were like, oh oh we just wanted to know if we could you know go fishing and my dad was like no okay it's private property goodbye isn't that the weirdest thing that's so scary freaky that's so scary but i like i after looking

at this i wonder like were those just like kids who had just it was the summertime they just lost track of time and they were just being dumb right hopefully hopefully i mean nothing ever happened so thank goodness yes okay let me go pee real fast and then on our christmas episode we'll talk about a real Christmas story. Oh! Burn! Okay, smugs McGee. I'm going to talk about that time Santa Claus robbed a bank.

I'm so excited for this. Okay, so the majority of this comes from an article in the March 1930 edition of Startling Detective Adventures. The article is called The Santa Claus Bank Robbery by Boyce House. He reported on this case at the time it happened, and he sat in court during the resulting trials. On December 23, 1927, the streets of Cisco, Texas were like something straight out of A Christmas Carol. City sidewalks, busy sidewalks were dressed in holiday style as the shoppers rushed home with their treasures. In the air, there was the feeling of Christmas. And children watched in delight as Santa Claus walked through town. Santa smiled as the kids ran up to him to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. But if their parents had been paying better attention, they would have seen that there was something a bit off about him.

Oh, no. First of all, he was skinny. He'd been doing keto. Yeah. He was also suffering the keto flu. Then there was his suit it was cheaply made with thin red fabric and it was lined around the edges with dingy cotton not fur and finally if anyone had looked closely enough they would have seen that he was wearing ordinary clothes beneath the santa suit oh god his pants and shoes clearly sticking out of the bottom.

People let their children. Okay. 1930s. Yeah. It's 1927. Okay. Today, I'd be like, that guy's a pedo. Yeah. But this Santa was playing to the kids and he stood there stroking his whiskers as he listened to the children's Christmas wishes. stroking his whiskers as he listened to the children's Christmas wishes. Then, when they were done, he continued his walk down Main Street and entered the First National Bank. Inside the bank, a cashier looked up from his desk and said cheerfully, Hello, Santa! But Santa said nothing in return.

Instead, he walked to the center of the bank and stood at that desk where customers fill out their deposit forms and stuff. And again, the cashier called out to him. Hi, Santa. And again, Santa said nothing. Rude. Then, as all eyes were on the silent Santa, three armed men charged into the bank yelling stick them up everybody no at first the people in the bank thought it was some kind of joke or skit or something

but when the men yelled it again and one man fired a shot into the ceiling they realized it was no joke one man gathered all of the employees and customers one man stood guard just inside the door and the third man stood armed at the teller's window while all of this was going on santa walked through the cashier's office into the teller's cage and grabbed the gun that was kept beneath the drawer there no Now there were four armed men, and one of them was Santa Claus. That's terrible! Santa Claus pointed the gun at the teller

and ordered her to open the safe. The same one who'd been trying to say, hey, Santa? Different one. Oh, okay. That was a cashier. This is the teller. So the cashier is the guy that writes

like the cashier's checks and stuff he's like a step above a teller oh excuse me he's got a whole office teller has a cage did you work at a bank once i mean you seem very defensive and knowledgeable worked at a lot a couple banks yeah yeah um so he points the gun at her and he's like open the safe and as she did so he pulled a sack labeled idaho potatoes out from under his suit and he began loading it up in all he stuffed it with twelve thousand two hundred dollars in cash adjusted for inflation and a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in, which I looked into this. We had a question about what the fuck securities were. It's like stocks and bonds.

Oh, okay. According to one article I read. Adjusted for inflation. Yes, bring it on. It's about $170,000 in cash and almost $2.1 million in securities. Whoa. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad at all.1 million in securities. Whoa. Yeah. Not bad.

Not bad at all. Not a bad haul. What the four armed men had failed to notice at this point, though, was that shortly after Santa walked into the bank, Mrs. B.P. Blassingame and her... Sorry. Sorry. It sounds like you made that up

on the spot it's a real name BP Blassingame and her six year old daughter Frances had followed in behind

Blassingame's daughter had seen the other children talking to Santa and wanted to tell him what she wanted

for Christmas too so they had. That's so fucking weird. Also, but. Why did I say that sentence so weird? You know what it sounded like? It sounded like you had everything written on an index card and you had to flip it.

Right, I just didn't. Anyway, Blast and Game's daughter had seen Santa talking to the other kids and she was like, Mom, I want to tell him what I want for Christmas. Right.

So they rushed across the street because they were kind of on the other side of the square. They rushed across the street. Oh, no. So they walk in on this armed robbery. By the time they get

to where Santa was talking to the other kids, he had already headed off. Right. And so they followed him to the bank. Oh, no. headed off. Right. And so they followed him to the bank. Oh, no. As soon as Mrs. Blassingame had realized what was happening inside the bank, she and her

daughter had not complied with what the armed men had told everybody to do. What? So they gathered everybody together, but Mrs. Blassingame hadn't listened. She and her daughter were inching slowly closer and closer to the side exit. Oh my. And no one had noticed. Oh my god. One guy's watching everybody. Well not everybody. One guy's watching the front door. Uh huh. One guy's watching the teller. And then the Santa is in the safe. Right. And so Mrs. Blassingame gets the door open about the same time that Santa got all of the money into the bag. She opens the door, unlatches the screen door because this is the 20.

So there's not air conditioning. So lots of places had like these exits with these like screen doors so they could open it up and get like an airflow through the place. Wait, it's a screen door, you say? We still have screen doors today. I think it's weird that a bank would have a side door with a screen on it. I agree, but I think you're over explaining the concept of a screen. Shut up.

Anyway, she takes the latch off, which is like a hook, and you put the hook in through the other side. I'm not getting it. That just keeps the screen door from just like slamming against the door jamb in the wind. I'm afraid I just don't quite understand. So she pushes the screen door open, and she tells her daughter to run. And she is taking off after her through the door when one of the men realized what was going on and he yelled stop or i'll shoot oh god but this brave woman could not be stopped she took off running and she kept running even after she heard a shot ring out. She ran down the alley across a vacant field all the way to the police department

where she informed authorities that there was a bank robbery going on at First National Bank. With the exception of Mrs. Blassingame's escape, everything in the holdup had gone according to plan. With the loot loaded into the bag, the four men headed toward the side door where their getaway car was waiting in the alley. When one of the men peeked out the door to see if they had a clear shot to the car, he saw that there were police posted on both ends of the alley. One of the bandits, armed with two guns, began shooting in both directions oh that only works in a movie buddy this is what happens next is like a fucking movie okay so he looks out he's like there's police at both ends our getaway cars right there so he takes two guns and he's like No. Both directions. Out this door. It starts a full on like gun battle. Really?

Yeah. But these robbers will not be deterred. They're like bullets. Fine. No big deal. So they start gathering up all of the people that are in there. No. And they're using them as human shields.

No. They force them out into the alley. And by this time, the people in town, the citizens of Cisco, have heard the shots ring out. Well, yeah. So what do they do? They come running toward the shots. They grab their own guns and come running to the alley. It's Texas. I forgot it was Texas come running toward the shop. They grab their own guns and come running to the alley. It's Texas.

I forgot it was Texas. It's fucking Texas. They grab their own guns. They come running towards the alley. There's people everywhere. There's guns everywhere. Bullets are flying every which way. Oh, my God.

These four guys have shoved all of these people out into the alley. And they're almost to the car. And they're like, we got to do something to keep them from shooting at us once're almost to the car and they are like we gotta we gotta do something to keep them from shooting at us once they get in the car so they grabbed two little girls oh no horrible there's a 10 year old girl named emma ray robinson and a 12 year old girl named laverne comer they'd been in the bank at the time of the robbery. So the men grabbed them and forced them into the car. You know, I'm starting to think. So what was her face? BP?

What's her butt? Blasting game? Yeah. I don't know how I forgot her last name. I thought she was nuts for sending her six-year-old and herself out of there, but she must have known these guys were super bad dudes. Yeah. And clearly they were. Yeah.

If they did this, oh my gosh. So they're like, if we get these two little girls in the car, they're not just going to randomly shoot into our car as we drive away. Oh my gosh. Because the risk of shooting these girls would be too great. Ugh. So they shove these girls in the car. They all get in the car.

Meanwhile, one of them's still like shooting around these little girls like at the police at the people in the alley and they take off and they take off so fast that they like are going around a corner before the car doors even shut and one of the little girls about falls out of the car they like grab her at the last second and pull her back in this story is crazy it's crazy holy so they take off i've gone completely off script so let me figure out where the fuck i am i like it when you get so into it i know i know so they take off and the scene they left behind in the alley was a grisly one over 200 bullet holes police chief ge bit bedford and police officer george carmichael lay on the ground critically wounded bedford and carmichael would both succumb to their wounds later. Bedford died on Christmas Day while Carmichael held out until January 17th.

Six other citizens were also wounded in the gun battle. Terrible. Yeah. The bandits didn't stop until they made it to the outskirts of town. They stopped to take inventory of the situation. The car had taken on heavy damage from the gunfire. One

tire was flat and they were losing gasoline fast, but due to bullet holes in the tank, like so like at first they thought they'd forgotten to fill up the tank and then they see like no, it's coming out. It's actually like one of the shots hit the gas tank and so it's coming out. It's actually like one of the shots hit the gas tank.

And so it's just like losing gas. And then among the four men, two of them were injured. One man was critically injured while Santa had been shot in the jaw and the leg. Shot in the jaw? Shot in the jaw. Yeah. Boy. Deciding that they needed to ditch the getaway car, one of the men stopped an Oldsmobile driven by a 14-year-old boy accompanied by his parents and grandmother.

Oh, no. The men forced the family out of the car, but the quick-thinking boy locked the ignition switch as he was getting out of the car. The bandits wouldn't learn that they couldn't actually start the car until after they'd loaded their wounded comrade. So they've got one of their guys is like super hurt. He's super super wounded. He's bleeding everywhere. So they load him into the car.

They load their hostages into the car. They load their loot into the car. And then they get in the car. And then they find out that they can't start it because he's locked the ignition switch. And by this point, had the family like run off? They've like run off. Yeah.

Whoa. Yeah. So they're like, fuck, we can't start this car. Oh, my God. So they're sitting there. They're trying to figure out what to do. And then they start hearing noises. The pursuers are like on their way.

They can see him in the distance. They're like, we've got to go. So they made the got to go. So they made the decision to go back to the other car. So they move their hostages back to the other car. They move to the other car. They go to get their guy out that's been shot really badly. He's dead.

He's dead. They leave him behind. They get in the car. They peel out of there. Wait, did they take the money? Nope. What? Left the money behind. No.

out of there. Wait, did they take the money? Nope. What? Left the money behind. No! That is amazing. Left the money behind. So they're driving and they're like the only thing we can do is go down like these country roads and get, there's like

they call it like, in these articles they call it like brush and thicket. It just keeps getting like heavier and heavier. So they just keep driving this car like as far into this as they can. They're not being pursued anymore. But at some point, the car stops. They can't drive anymore. So they abandon the car.

And when they abandon the car and take off on foot, they leave the two little girls in it. Oh, geez. The car was later found. The girls were fine. Okay. Thank goodness. But now, these guys are on foot and the search continues oh my god and they don't have money they have nothing they've got

nothing now they've got nothing but one of the guys killed and one of the guys shot um okay at what point did they realize they'd forgotten the money i don't know can you imagine no because you know it was one of those you got the money right yeah i thought you forgotten the money? I don't know. Can you imagine? No. Because you know it was one of those, you got the money, right? Yeah. I thought you got the money. I thought you got the money, yeah. Over the next couple of days, the town of Sisko was on edge as the three remaining bandits were still at large. The Santa Claus robbery was on the forefront of everyone's mind, even small children. Oh, that would be so disturbing. During a Christmas Eve service at a packed church, when Santa Claus made an appearance,

a little boy cried out in a shaky voice, Santa Claus, why did you rob that bank? Oh, poor little guy. That's so sad. That is so sad. That is so sad. Because, yeah, to these little kids. Yeah.

It's Santa. Yeah. How could he? How could Santa do this? So sad. The search for the men spread out from Cisco. And a few days after the robbery, the men were spotted in South Bend, Texas, which is about an hour from Cisco. And another gun battle ensued.

You're kidding me. So they're, like, driving down this road, and, like, all of the surrounding towns had been alerted, like, they might be coming. So this police officer is, like, sitting on this road, and he sees, like, this little roadster, like, a little sports car with three guys in it. And he's like, what's that?

And the car's like swerving. And then he sees one of the guys has a gun. Oh, God. And so like, I don't know how suddenly there's all these police there. I don't know exactly how it happened. Yeah. And the guys get out of the roadster and they take off on foot and they're running in all different directions. And one of the guys that happens to be there happens to be like the most famous like texas police officer

ever he was like i'm sorry i don't remember his name hold on i can find it real real super fast barney fife barney but sy bradford okay it's sy bradford he's one of the most famous they call him called him a peacekeeper but But he was also a really good shot. Oh, well, I guess there are a number of ways to keep the peace. So he like takes focus on the guy that was Santa Claus. He's ditched the Santa Claus costume by now. I don't really know that it was Santa Claus, but that's who he's kind of following. And he just starts taking shots at him. He shoots him. He hits him. He goes. So he doesn't really know that it was Santa Claus, but that's who he's kind of following. And he just starts taking shots at him.

He shoots him, he hits him, he goes down, he doesn't come back up. Oh, well. So they take him into custody. Meanwhile, the other two have disappeared. They're gone.

They search for him, or for them, there's two of them, for a couple of days in this area. At one point, the two guys were hiding under the ledge of this

giant boulder and the searchers were standing on top of it it's like a fucking movie yes this is one of those things if you saw it in a movie you'd be like this is stupid yeah so they take the guy that was santa Santa Claus into custody and he is like, he has like an armory on him. He's got all these guns. He's got tons of ammunition. It's just like in his jacket and belted on him. And they said it was like the most heavily armed man that they've taken into custody like to date at that point. Wow.

Okay. So they've got him in custody meanwhile the other two are still out there so they've expanded like the search like i said before everybody in the surrounding towns knows that there's these two men so police in graham texas get a call on december 30th from this guy who owns a boarding house. And he's like, hey, so Graham, Texas is like an hour north of Cisco. So he's like, hey, I've got these two guys that are looking to rent a room, but they seem super sketchy. And I just saw that one of them has a gun in his belt.

I think they might be the guys. Yeah. So police respond. They come. They take these guys into custody without incident. They are so

weak. That shocks me. They're so weak from being on the run for almost a week now. All they had eaten to that point was like

No carbs. two oranges and some stolen cobs of corn. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. So they're so weak. They just were looking for somewhere to stay the night.

And so they couldn't have even fought if they wanted to. There was just no way. So they take them into custody without incident. Did they fit into their dresses, though? They did. Yeah. They went to that wedding and they looked great. That's all that matters really.

That's right. It turns out like during the time that they were on the run they had become so delirious that they kept accidentally ending up back in Cisco again. I love it.

And they'd have to be like oh shit we gotta get out of here. Well those poor guys they were probably just driving around on instinct, right? They didn't have maps. Yes. And then sometimes they stole a couple cars and they'd have a car for a while and then they'd wreck it and then they'd have to go off on foot again.

It was just a shit show. Is it weird that I'm almost feeling sorry for these guys? Right? Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible. Is it weird that I'm almost feeling sorry for these guys? Right? Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.

So who were these men that robbed the bank and set off the largest manhunt in Texas history to that point? They were idiots. Yeah. And like they said that this crime was like at the details of it were so lurid at that time and everybody was so involved in it that it like overshadowed any tales of like the wild west or anything like that it was like it was crazy people are like can't believe something like this is happening in modern day like not even uh manhunt was to this scale was used like during like the james gang searches and stuff like that like wow yeah crazy so the gang marshall ratliff was the man dressed as santa claus he was a cisco native hence the disguise uh-huh and had just been paroled after serving

a tiny portion of his sentence for another bank robbery oh geez so it's kind of a weird deal so one article said he was actually pardoned by the governor another said he was paroled by the governor so i don't know which is true but he was sentenced to like 90 years or something like that for a bank robbery and he served like a couple of years and then was let out oh that's he was specifically released for sure by the governor. Yeah. That's super odd. Super weird. Was he well-connected? I mean, he had to have been, right?

No, he was, I don't know. It seems like he's a nobody, but. Oh, that's weird. Super weird. In that bank robbery, so it had happened in another town, but he'd been tracked to Cisco, where he was from, and he'd actually been arrested by Police Chief Bedford, the same guy who was shot and killed during the shootout in the alley. Yes.

Yeah. His surviving accomplices were Henry Helms. He was the man that was armed with the two guns. Yeah. And Robert Hill. was the man that was armed with the two guns yeah and robert hill they were both ex-cons that he'd met in prison i'm really disappointed that they didn't have cool nicknames i know right i was really like there were no nicknames i totally expected they would have nicknames too damn okay fine it's kind of a bummer so he'd met them when he was in prison at huntsville prison in texas as for the robber who died from his wounds that he suffered in the gun battle he was lewis davis a relative of henry

helms and he had no criminal record damn yeah kind of feel bad for that guy i mean he got himself into it yeah i i mean i think you lose me when you start involving little girls yeah yeah that's probably true marshall ratliff was the first to be tried no one in the bank could identify him he'd been in a santa suit it sounded like his santa suit sucked though okay so some of the articles called it a santa suit it sounded like his santa suit sucked though okay so some of the articles called it a santa mask that he had on so i'm wondering what a santa suit of that time period yeah like so maybe he did have like a full like super fucking creepy i bet he did i bet he did yeah he probably did yeah i mean no wonder like imagine how hard kids would have cried when they

saw that santa god i mean kids cry when they saw that Santa. Oh, God. I mean, kids cry when they see regular Santa. So creepy fucking mask Santa. Did I ever tell you a couple of years ago, Allie, my niece, was going to meet Santa. You know, everybody wants the picture of the kid on Santa's lap. Yeah. She just shook his hand. Nice to meet you, sir.

Yeah. Which I love. She shook his hand yeah nice to meet you sir yeah which i love she shook his hand said what she wanted for christmas and it was a very business like that's hilarious so no one who was in the bank that day could identify marshall ratliff because of the santa suit i don't know why I said that again. Was it because of the screen door? It was because they had seen him through that screen door. Okay, remember, this is a door. What the hell is that? This is a door, okay?

It's see-through, but it has a screen to keep, like, bugs and stuff from coming in. But it allows the wind to pass through it. So you can get a nice breeze going in those hot summer months. I've never seen or heard of anything like this. Shut up. I'm just making fun of you because normally I'm the one who says the obvious stuff. I know, over-explained stuff, yes. One person could identify Marshall Ratliff, though.

Who? One of the little girls that they had taken so it was the 10 year old girl who was named fuck emma ray robinson i thought she was the younger one yeah that's the 10 year old one the other one was 12 oh i'm sorry good wow trying to catch me there huh it was because i said wanda and wanita and stuff so it was the 10 year old emma ray robinson who could identify marshall ratliff because when they had gotten in the car and he was trying to like figure out his injuries his jaw was really hurting right so we took when he took off the mask or the beard i don't know yeah whatever it was i see what was going on she recognized his face as a citizen of cisco oh my god she knew who he was immediately

wow good for her she testified in court he was charged with robbery with a firearm or multiple firearms which at the time was a crime eligible for the death penalty in Texas. Yeah. So he, he didn't testify in his own defense. There wasn't a ton of evidence because there were so many shots fired. It was hard to say who fired what. Yeah. So really, the biggest testimony was the little girl saying, yeah, I recognized him in the car. Oh, that's crazy. The jury found him guilty and sentenced him to 99 years. Wow. In response to that sentence, he said, that's no hill for a high stepper like me. And then he died in prison? Oh, did he?

Yes, he did. The governor did not let him out again. I guess we'll have to listen and find out, Kristen! He was later charged again for the murder of Chief Bedford. And for that, he was

found guilty and was given the electric chair. Oh. It's Texas. Buzz buzz. Henry Helms was the next to be tried. And he sat through trial with his head down, only looking up an interest

during one point in the trial. And that was when they brought in his four guns as evidence so the whole time he's like sitting there not looking at anything and then he's like that's my shit yeah and then when they brought his guns in it was said that he like looked up with interest and like his eyes lit up like yeah super crazy because so many of the weapons that were used in the crime were his the jury sentenced him to death wow when they did so though like several of them were crying or had tears in their eyes it was definitely something that was a very difficult for them to do but it was the punishment that they felt

fit the crime. Yeah. Robert Hill was the last to be tested, to be testified, to be trial tried. And unlike the others, he confessed to his part in it. He testified in court. Robert Hill was the last to be tried. And unlike the others,

he confessed to his part in the crime. And he took the witness stand. He was only 21 at the time. Wait, he confessed, but he was a witness? Yeah, so he confessed, but he didn't plead guilty necessarily. He confessed to what he thought that he should be held responsible for. Oh, okay. So he played a part, but he said he just, be held responsible for. Oh, OK. So he played a part, but he said he just, you know, he didn't shoot anyone.

He just was there and he watched the whatever. I think he was the one that watched everybody. OK. Or whatever. OK, so he didn't like take a deal or anything. No, he didn't take a deal. He was still tried, but he testified and downplayed his involvement. Well, sure. It was all those other bad guys.

He told the jury that he'd had a really tough life. He was an orphan and he'd bounced around through the system and in one time had been placed in like a boys reform school, even though he'd committed no crime. Like that's typically where they sent juveniles who had done things and he'd never done anything, but that's where they sent him. He just didn't have anybody to kill. Yeah. And for what it was worth, it seemed to work a little bit.

They didn't sentence him to death. They sentenced him to 99 years. Oh, God. So after he was taken to prison he escaped almost immediately what yeah he escaped like three different times and they kept bringing him back so it was like three different times that he tried to escape and they brought him back each time the third time he was out for several weeks before they caught him and then they put him under like higher security and he wasn't able to escape again. It took three times before they finally put him in higher security.

Yeah, exactly. So what happened? Did they carry out the death sentences on these guys? Yes. It's Texas, right? What the hell? So do I not know Texas? So Henry Helms and Marshall Ratliff, once they got to prison,

they both put on these kind of acts where they started to, it's believed that they were pretending, but maybe they weren't. They both claimed that they were insane. that they were pretending, but maybe they weren't. They both claimed that they were insane. And they both appealed their sentences to the Texas Supreme Court. And said that they were insane and they couldn't be. Sorry.

And they couldn't be sentenced to death because they were insane. Yeah. And so the Supreme Court looked it over in both cases. And in both cases, it was deemed that they were sane. Wow. Yes. So all of Helm's filings for insanity were deemed, what's the word? Not good. Unsuccessful.

And on September 6th, 1929, he was put to death by the electric chair wow the same cannot be said for ratliff so he was doing the same thing he was pretending to be insane at one point he laid down in his cot and he didn't speak or move or get up for like days oh my god yes and so they were like moving him to a different portion of the jail because they really believed like maybe something has happened to him he's really either gone into a state or he's had some kind of something happen to him. Yeah. And so he was in this less secured portion of the jail. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do not tell me.

And then one night. He got him. When they were locking up another portion of the jail, he got up from his cot. He went downstairs. He got the keys to let himself out. No. Yeah.

But the jailer caught it all happening and this big like ruckus ensued and so they're like having this fight this argument somehow like a word gets out in the town that this is going on at the jail and townspeople just start coming to the jail so by this time um somehow um ratliff has gotten a gun uh-huh but the jailer's daughter also worked at the jail and so she comes in and she saves her dad and she gets the gun away this is nuts it's nuts it's nuts so they get him secured yeah they're like okay clearly this was a fucking act securing you yep Yep. No problem. Whatever. Well, by now, this huge crowd has gathered outside of the jail. People are pissed.

They're like, why hasn't this guy been executed yet? It's, I don't know, fucking September by now? Something like that? November. It's November. And they're like, this guy should have been executed by now. He was sentenced to death. executed by now he was sentenced to death the other guy that was sentenced to death is already executed he's already put in a for an

insanity plea that was denied this guy should be executed so a group of men no force their way into the jail and they try they're trying to get up to him they can't get there like they finally the the jailer gets them out and he like you know kind of regains control of the situation holy shit for a second then a larger group overtakes it and forces their way in and they get marshall ratliff and they pull him out of the jail and they're carrying him through the streets this is the craziest story you have ever told. And at 9.30 p.m. on November 19th, they lynch him in the town square. No.

Yep. Holy crap. They took justice into their own hands. Texas style. Texas style, y'all. Whoa. They hung Santa Claus. Oh my God.

Right before Thanksgiving. Oh my gosh. Yeah. No one was ever charged with anything in relation to the lynching. Whoa. Because nobody saw a thing. Nobody saw a thing. Nobody saw a thing. That's right.

In Cisco today, there's like this little, there's like this pole in town that's kind of picking it off. Yeah. A little picket fence. It's got a little marker that says it's the official pole that he was hung up on and lynched from. You're kidding me. Yeah. It's not really known if it's the actual real pole. I'm just surprised somebody would want to mark that.

Well, and the actual noose that was used is like in a museum there, too. Gross. Yeah. I kind of want to see it. I know. Me, too. And that's the story of the time Santa Claus robbed a bank. That was amazing.

Wasn't that crazy? That puts my little cookie story to shame. There was no shootout in mine. No shootout, no lynchings. Just a panic attack. That's right. And small claims court. Small claims court. Okay, that was nuts.

Yeah. Should we tell some holiday stories now? Yeah. Please do. Tell me your, as a child, your favorite toy you ever got for Christmas. Do you know? The year we got the trampoline was amazing. Yeah.

But also, like, best gift I've ever gotten. Yeah. When I was 15, my mom got me a leather jacket i thought it was the coolest chicest thing it probably was did it have a belt tied around you mean you don't remember my leather jacket i do remember it had a folding did it have a collar yeah it was like a pea coat but leather yeah i remember it i mean i never seen anything so chic in my life that's right and it graced the halls of shawnee mission northwest what about you um i have a couple of christmases that come to mind um

we got a it was like a joint present to me and my sister and i don't know if it was from my parents or from santa but it was the barbie dream mansion oh oh that's cool it was super cool did it have the pool yeah it had everything and i remember my dad spending hours putting it together for us oh my god it was huge to my little kid self it was the mansion yeah yeah yeah and then one year we got a dog for christmas oh my gosh when i was really little so i think i was probably four okay my parents were still married uh-huh um and the dog was from santa uh-huh she was this little black dog. We named her Kelly. Yeah. I don't know why.

But she had a scarf on her when we came down in the morning. And my dad told us that it was Santa's scarf and that he'd put it on her on the sleigh because she'd gotten cold. My dad said that he had heard the dog barking and that it woke him up and he came down he found santa in the living room and that santa covered my dad's eyes made his eyes close with his magic santa mittens and then had disappeared and all that was left was our dog and the screen door slammed shut and all the money was gone that's so sweet i think that same christmas i think it was that same christmas i can't imagine that i remember more than one christmas with my parents married because i was pretty young when they got yeah what we went to a movie on christmas eve we went and saw Prancer, which is a super sad movie. It's not a great Christmas movie. I kind of vaguely remember it.

But we had gotten home and there was an airplane in the sky. You could just see its red flashing light. My parents told us it was Santa and that we needed to go in and go to bed so that he wouldn't skip our house.

See, now you actually remember believing in santa yeah i don't believe i don't remember yeah i remember believing in santa yeah as an adult best christmas i think i zach's been really good about like doing these little surprises for me like one year i wanted a laptop so bad uh-huh um we had like a stupid desktop like and so i was like maybe you know maybe with our tax money we can get a laptop or something like that yeah and so we i don't even know that we did christmas presents with each other that year and so we went over to my dad's house for christmas and zach had gotten me a laptop and he had taken it over to my dad's house for Christmas. And Zach had gotten me a laptop. And he had taken it over to their house so that I would open it. Like, I wouldn't see it at our house. I would open it with our presents over there.

So I was like, all of a sudden, I have this present from Zach. And I'm like, what is this? And I open it up. It's a laptop. I, like, lost my mind. I could not believe that he totally pulled off the surprise. It was really cool. OK.

This is the weirdest thing. You know the same thing happened? Okay. Several years ago. This is so weird. What? Several years ago, I really wanted a new laptop. What?

But I mean, same deal. Like we weren't making that much money. It was kind of a big thing. Yeah. And that year we had decided we would only like do stockings for each other yeah and it was only going to be like 20 bucks you know we had this thing so we'd both done that for each other and we were done and then he pulls out this extra present and it was a laptop i was stunned holy shit that's so weird what year was it do you remember oh my gosh i don't know mine was like maybe 2011

2012 yeah probably it's so weird probably wow that's crazy yeah that's super weird god there's we've had these weird things though. Like super weird similarities in our lives. Yeah, like when we were living in different places, but like we wore the same perfume. Yes. Which I think is so bizarre. So weird. Yeah.

Odd. Last year, Zach surprised me with a new Apple Watch. So I. I'm sorry. Wow. Peanut. What was that? year Zach surprised me with a new Apple watch. So I I'm sorry. Sounded like peanut hocked up an Apple watch. No kidding. So I I have had an Apple watch for years. I had the series one and I use it at work a lot. Yeah, you can use the timer on it. And then like, while I'm really busy at the salon, I can still see my text messages and stuff like that and so i had wanted the new one which was the series three that came out last year because it was waterproof yeah and so i was always like

the one i had was water resistant but like the speakers wouldn't work right on it after a while after i do a shampoo and my hands are in water all the time at the salon and so i was like oh that'd be cool to have the new one since it's waterproof or whatever and so zach went and got it for me like the day before christmas but his surprise was ruined by sprint what he bought it from the sprint store oh and they sent me an email receipt and so i texted him i'm like hey i just got a weird receipt like i thought somebody had like well yeah purchase something on our car or something yeah i was like i just got a weird email from sprint he's like what and then when i got so he found out that his surprise was ruined he's like dang you know i was really trying to surprise you i'm like that's so sweet of you like it's still a surprise yeah and i get home and he had

already wrapped it made it look just like my other presents and he had hidden it under our tree oh that sucked sucked for him that his surprise was ruined but i was still really well yeah really super excited it was a good surprise um on a related note yeah birch box if you're already in their system and someone buys you a gift card i don't know that if they've changed this but um they will notify you like thanks for signing up again a couple days before my birthday last year i got an email thank you for signing up for another year birchbox was like oh i guess i know what norman got me that's funny yeah i really love christmas i do too big fan of christmas i really love giving gifts yeah like there's something about like picking out a gift

that you think somebody's really gonna love that's really exciting to me you're a really good gift giver i put a lot of thought into it yeah so it's also a little bit stressful because i'm like i want it to be something somebody really wants like socks yes and well to zach that would be the best christmas gift ever He loves socks. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. Do you have your Christmas shopping done? Um, officially it is done. I have, I think two things that I have to order. I need to get them ordered like tonight. Yeah. They're from Amazon. So I can still carry it in time. And then I have not wrapped a single item. I have been like, okay, so you know me. I'm on a Jersey Shore kick right now. So now anytime I get anything new, it's just boom.

I sit in front of Jersey Shore. I wrap my present, stick it in the closet. Because Kiki, I discovered this last year, likes to open presents. So it's really upsetting to me that I haven't wrapped anything yet because it's my favorite part of Christmas. Yeah. I love wrapping presents. Me too.

I love picking, like, I always pick, like, a theme for my presents every year. Uh-huh. And so I've got my stuff for it. I just haven't started wrapping anything yet. Pretty excited to do it. Do you have a ritual? Is there something you watch while you usually watch a christmas movie while i do it yeah not jersey shore no my favorite thing to watch when i wrap

is the christmas episode like the first christmas episode of the office oh yeah secret santa and michael buys an ipod yeah yeah and Yeah. And there's a $20 limit. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah. Oh, Merry Christmas, folks. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.

Happy New Year. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy. What else is there? Happy Hanukkah. Yeah. And whatever else. Happy if you.

Happy to everything. Happy winter if you don't celebrate any of those holidays. You know what I hate? What? People who talk about the war on Christmas. Oh, yeah. They're trying to get us to not say it. Oh, shut up.

Yeah. I'm trying to be inclusive. Yes, exactly. How many people do you think I offended just then? I don't know. Twelve? Yeah, probably. Yeah.

It's probably a fair guess. I don't feel like we have very many buttholes who listen to this. I hope we have no buttholes who listen to this. I hope everyone who listens to this has a butthole. That'd be a real short life. Yeah. I wonder what happens if you're born without a butthole. I would hope they could make one for you.

Or you'd get a colostomy bag, right? They cut a balloon knot off of a balloon and they just glue that on? They try to get it as close to your flesh tone as possible, but you know, you're in kind of a dire situation, so you get what you get. I like that I went colostomy bag, and you're like, oh yeah,

they just super glue on a balloon nut. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not a doctor. Do you think that there's been people who are born without buttholes? Sure. Of course. Like premature babies?

Things aren't fully developed? Absolutely. You think they're buttholes not developed you know what this is getting gross this episode is coming out on christmas i think that's enough butthole time listen folks folks. Thank you so much for listening. We have had the best time this year doing these episodes. We hope you have a great

holiday. However you celebrate, whatever you celebrate with your friends and loved ones. Yeah, I'm just nodding along. Yeah, I agree. Thank you, Kristen. We're adding that heartfelt.

I agree. Note in there.. We're adding that heartfelt. I agree. Note in there. Hey, if you're looking for the perfect thing to get us this holiday. Oh, yeah. You know what it would be? What would it be? A review on iTunes. And if you've already done that, tell a friend.

Yeah. Seriously. Tell a friend. Tell five friends. And talk, tell a friend. Yeah. Seriously, tell a friend. Tell five friends. And talk about us on Reddit. Yeah. Talk about us on social media. Really, just climb the nearest mountain to your home and just shout it out.

That's all we ask, that you climb a mountain. Yeah. And profess your love for us. And then I hope you'll join us next week. When we'll be experts on two whole new topics. Podcast adjourned. Ho, ho, ho. And now for a note about our process. I read a bunch of stuff, then regurgitate it all back up

in my very limited vocabulary. And I copy and paste from the best sources on the web and sometimes Wikipedia. So we owe a huge thank you to the real experts. For this episode, I got my info from Newspapers.com, ABC News, and the East Bay Times. And I got my info from Startling Detective Adventures, TexasEscapes.com, the Texas State Historical Association, and Wikipedia. For a full list of our sources, visit LGTCpodcast.com. Any errors are of course ours, but please don't take our word for it. Go read their stuff.