Lex Fridman Podcast - #277 – Andrew Huberman: Focus, Stress, Relationships, and Friendship

Episode Date: April 17, 2022

Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist at Stanford and host of the Huberman Lab Podcast. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors: - Brave: https://brave.com/lex - LMNT: https://drinkLMNT.com/lex to get free sample pack - ROKA: https://roka.com/ and use code LEX to get 20% off your first order - Indeed: https://indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit - MasterClass: https://masterclass.com/lex to get 15% off EPISODE LINKS: Andrew's YouTube: https://youtube.com/AndrewHubermanLab Huberman Lab Podcast: https://hubermanlab.com Andrew's Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Andrew's Instagram: https://instagram.com/hubermanlab PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8 RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/ YouTube Full Episodes: https://youtube.com/lexfridman YouTube Clips: https://youtube.com/lexclips SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Check out the sponsors above, it's the best way to support this podcast - Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman - Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman - Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman OUTLINE: Here's the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time. (00:00) - Introduction (07:25) - Diet (17:30) - Attribution in science (20:11) - Rick Rubin (27:57) - Mental states (42:38) - Controversial guests (55:19) - Karl Deisseroth (59:34) - Difficult conversations (1:06:36) - Big guests (1:20:22) - Academia (1:27:23) - Freedom of speech (1:38:26) - If by Rudyard Kipling (1:45:37) - Music (1:51:16) - Public speaking (2:10:11) - Non-sleep deep rest (2:24:32) - Focus (2:34:52) - Stress and anxiety (2:54:48) - Sauna (3:06:14) - Sex (3:14:07) - Love and relationships

The following is a conversation with Andrew Huberman, his third time on this podcast. He's a brilliant neuroscientist at Stanford University, and the host of one of the best the best, if you ask me, health and science podcasts in the world called Huberman Lab Podcast. Check him out on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. Most importantly, Andrew is a great human being and has quickly become a great friend. And now a quick few second mention of each sponsor. Check them out in the description. It's the best way to support this podcast. We got Brave for web browsing, element for hydration, roca for style, indeed for hiring and masterclass for wisdom and

inspiration. Choose wise and my friends. And now onto the full ad reads. As always, no ads in the middle. I tried to make this interesting, but if you skip them, please still check out our sponsors. I enjoy their stuff. Maybe you will too. This episode is brought to you by Brave, fast privacy preserving browser that feels like Google Chrome But without ads or the various kinds of tracking that ads can do I Love using it more than any other browser including Chrome. It's my favorite go to browser At a conversation with its founder Brendan Eich who

Again, it's just behind some of the most impactful technology in the software engineering space in the tech space ever. I mean it's kind of incredible that one human can do so many fascinating things and actually just strictly the fact that there's innovation in the browser space is really exciting because those becoming stabilized kind of is becoming stale almost. There's great to have competition sort of challenge the big players and that's exactly what Brave does masterfully. Get it at Brave.com slash Lex and it might become your favorite browser too. They actually have their own Brave search engine that you should definitely check out. I love the minimalism of it and it works great. All at brave.com slash

Lex. This show is also brought to you by element electrolyte drink mix spelled LMNT. To do low carbs that correctly, the number one thing you have to get right is electrolytes, specifically sodium potassium and magnesium. And that's exactly what I drink element for. I drink it many, many times a day actually now. And I just did a long run in the quickly increasing austen heat. And I felt it, ladies and gentlemen, it was pretty rough. And so I made sure that there is electrolytes like an hour before in me and then afterwards

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I swear by the stuff. Try it at drink element dot com slash Lex spelled drink LMT dot com slash Lex spelled drink L M N T dot com slash Lex. This episode is also brought to you by Roka, the makers of glasses and sunglasses that I love wearing for their design, feel and innovation on materials, optics and grip. Roka was started by two all American swimmers from Stanford and was born out of an obsession with performance. I met one of said founders, Rob, I met him many times. He's an incredible human, kind human, brilliant human. They have a place here in Austin where they do a lot of the design. I don't know what else they do.

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So that means your friends, that means your loved ones, if you're in a relationship, and if you draw a lot of meaning, and you're passionate about your work, that means surrounding yourself with the right people that you work with. And so, if you're in a position to actually hire those people, that's the same as choosing friends. You want to choose the right people to surround yourself with because they're going to be a source of meaning, they're going to be a source of happiness.

This is not just productivity. Right now, get a free $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at indeed.com slash likes, Get it at indeed.com slash Lex. Offer valid through April 30th. Terms and conditions apply go to indeed.com slash Lex. This show is also brought to you by Masterclass. A hundred and any bucks a year get you in all access paths to watch courses from the best people in the world in their respected disciplines. The list is ridiculous. It's really fun to read actually the various subsets of that list. Chris Hadfield, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Will Wright, Carlos Santana, Gareth Kasparov, Daniel Nograano, Neil Gaiman, Martin Scorsese, Tony Hogg, Jane Goodall, and he keeps going on and on and on. I highly recommend you check it out. I think if you want to truly learn

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This is the Lex Friedman podcast, and here is my conversation with Andrew Hebron. We meet again my friend. We should talk on each other's podcast once a year. I think we should make a deal. I was just talking to the guys. This is a show called Louis. I don't know if you know it. And yeah, with Louis, okay. And there's this thing called Bang Bang, which people are probably watching know exactly what I'm talking about. It's this worst possible thing you can do in terms of meals, which is you go to a restaurant, do a full meal, and then go to another restaurant, and do a full meal, and you pet,

oh, you, that's not exactly. So they go Mexican Italian, sushi pizza, barbecue, I hopped that, that one is disgusting. This kind of thing reminds me of the joy of food. Last time we were hanging out, we went, we went to see Joe do comedy,

and then we went to eat Russian food. And it was a particularly fun experience to go to a Russian restaurant. I've been to the only person there that didn't speak Russian. Yeah. And eat Russian food with you. And because I felt walking in, they trusted you. They didn't trust me. Yeah. The funny thing about the people there, they were talking to you in

Russian. And then they refused to sort of switch to English, even though they understood you speak Russian. This is Russian house in Austin, by the way. Anyway, what by way of question, what's the worst or the best depending on your perspective cheat meal? Let's call it a picking out meal, but it could be a cheat meal that you've ever had or you want to have that's like on the bucket list or something that's in the past like where you did the something like a bang bang, which is like you're talking about multiple thousands of calories that you just feel horrible about yourself. You still keep eating because it's delicious but also great company. Something about the atmosphere is just right. Screw the diet,

screw all the things you know. I just like you should be doing but just throw it all out the window. I've done that. Well, several times. Yeah, I don't do this anymore, but the entire time I was a postdocs of five years and the entire time I was a pre-tenured professor, so five years. So I basically followed the Tim Ferriss slow carb diet, which is, you know, people can look it up, but it worked really well. It was basically some good animal proteins, you know, fish and meat and things like that.

Why is slow carb? Because slow carb is like, like, low glycemic stuff is mostly lentils and beans and things and vegetables. No dairy, no, anyway, but then one day in there. So I tend to know. No pasta. So it wasn't a low carb, but it was a low glycemic carb. And I did that and it worked terribly well just for energy levels because I want to be able to train and work. And then one day a week, you're supposed to go full cheat day.

And so I would do what used to be 12 hours, but then it became 24, you know, you start to redefine what the day is. And I would, and that was when Costello was pretty young and we would do it together. So I would get pizzas and croissants and donuts and I would just do the full thing. And by the end of the day, you don't want to look at an item of food. You're just repulsed by food. The only modification I made was the next day I would fast completely just to avoid the gastric distress of eating anything. And so I would do them on Sundays and then Monday is at fast all day.

And then by Tuesday, I felt pretty good again. But Sunday and Monday, or you just feel like you're sliding down the slope of just blood sugar disaster. Terrible idea or good idea. You know, at the time I enjoyed it. I love donuts, croissants, all that kind of stuff. What's interesting is after stopping that whole protocol, now I just try and eat well each day. Protocol. It's really a protocol. Now I basically, I do a pseudo intermittent fasting. I'm not really strict, but I'll start eating around 11.

Eat my first meal around 11. I usually train in the morning. Eat my last bite of food somewhere around eight or nine, and I'm not super strict. I might have some berries or something late at night. Three meals, two meals. Two, two meals. And then maybe a little bit of snacking

on some nuts or something in the middle. Ever fast, 24 hours. Never done that long, fast except when I was doing the Chiges and then, and actually there are a couple different ways to do cheat days that were fun. If you were in a new city, you could try all the restaurants that you wanted. Yeah, and I think Tim and our mutual friend, John Romano did a, I think it was like a cheat day marathon where they did, you know, marathonsello, did a, I think it was like a cheat day marathon where they did, you know, marathon's 26.3 miles,

they went to 26.3 different locations in New York, they put it on a map and I never took it to that extreme, but, wait, yeah, over how many days? One day, that was their cheat. What? Just because they were, you know, just a little bit of something at each place.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, there are things that guys do in their 30s that you just shouldn't do in your 40s. I can say that because I'm in my 40s. And now I just try and eat well most days. And what's interesting is about 12 to 14 months ago, I completely lost all appetite for sweets. I don't know what happened.

I still love savory food, so meat and butter and cheese. And I love vegetables too. I love fruit also, but lost all appetite. So if you put a donut in front of me, or ice cream or something like, I just, it's almost aversive to me, and I don't know what happened. I don't know what changed.

It's probably a scientific explanation. Sure. It says to do, maybe not raw, but it's a lot of dimensions. The sugar, the desire for that rush, maybe is gone from your soul. Who was the most delicious thing? The croissant, that's what?

Is there a thing that there's a place in Portland, I don't know if it's still open, called Little Tees Bakery, and they have croissants that easily rival the croissants in Paris. People make a lot of the pastry in Paris, but it's really the bread in Paris. That's amazing. We lived there when I was a kid and we did a sabbatical there. And you know, there they do the by-get morning bake and afternoon bake. And there's nothing like the bread in Paris or the people, you know. And but if you're in the if you're in the Pacific Northwest, you know, you can find amazing croissants there. What do you do with the croissant? What do you do with the bread? Butter or is it just...

I actually used to, I don't eat them anymore. I don't have it much of an appetite for them, even though they're not a sweet food, but I'm always putting butter on the croissant. Butter on the butter croissant. No jam, I would never adulterate my croissant. I have to actually be honest about this, because people talk about steak

and they talk about bread with the butter. I feel like butter is cheating. I feel like you're disrespecting the fundamental food by adding butter. Because butter, it's like a elite version of ketchup. You're, there we diverge because for me bread is just a vehicle for butter. A cracker is just a vehicle for cheese.

Oh, so that's just the cracker and the bread is just texture. It's just that people look at you funny if you just eat the butter straight, which occasionally I do. I got it. But so I put a little piece of bread underneath it, not because I'm low carb, strictly low carb thing, but just because otherwise you get some funny looks.

That's like pasta is a vehicle for pasta sauce. It's interesting, but like Indian, non-bread, you have the bread, I've had a lot of soul searching on which part of Indian brings me so much joy. Is it the bread or is it all the sauces that come with the bread? Well, there we diverge again because for whatever reason, and no disrespect to anyone, but Indian food doesn't appeal to me.

Well, you're a lucky man because the number of calories in that food, it's like non-bread. I don't know how non-bread is made, but I think it's just soaked in oil and it's just very intensely, like the density of calories is very, very high. For me, barbecue, I would say, it's probably the, that's good. Any time I'm in Austin, I start thinking about barbecue. I do love, you know, I do love meat. My dad's Argentine, I mean, I love steak, I love meat.

I mean, Argentina, chorizo sausage is an appetizer before you have steak. So it's meat on top of meat. And it's not just, you know, it's not just a man, right? You see women, sometimes very petite women eating steaks that are bigger than their skull size. You know, slowly, they eat very slowly there and they all eat dessert too, which is interesting.

And they generally do this sort of one meal per day and do that kind of reflexively. That's how I think about it, because I often eat one meal a day, especially when I'm traveling. It feels like a cheap meal because it allows, it gives you a bit of more freedom to just lose yourself in the quantity of the food. I did the three day fast, and I ate chicken breasts, literally chicken breasts with nothing

else, just grilled, and those are the most delicious piece of meat I've ever eaten. And that gives you, the problem is when you fast the three days, you really can't pick out. You really shouldn't get what your stomach will shrink inside. It's already, you're got microbiome is almost completely depleted by fasting. A lot of people think, oh, cleanses and fasts are great for the microbiome. They quash your microbiome. However, when you start eating again, the microbiome comes back better than it was before you're fast. For people who don't know, so again, Todd, or on the call, they're kind of pulling stuff up. They just pulled up. Felt.

Felt. I forget how many calories you're eating, 10,000. You know what's interesting? There's some cool physiology around this. The reason he needed to eat so much is not that he was burning that many calories in pure movement. It's that when you do exercise in water,

even if it's warm water, the heat transfer in water is greater. So you burn far more calories. And again, here, I'm admittedly lifting that from knowledge that was passed on to me by Tim Ferris. So I didn't, but I checked it out and it's absolutely true. So if you exercise in water, even if it's not really cold water, your caloric needs go way up, which is why you get out of the pool and you're often really hungry. And for fans of the human lab podcast, and if you're not a fan, what, what, what are you doing in your life? You would probably chuckle at the fact that Andrew just cited his sources, even on that statement. Because you're so good at, I don't know how your memory works, but the only person whose memory is better than Joe Rogan is yours. But my colleagues joke, you know, PubMed sort of scrolls through my mind.

Also in science as you know, attribution is so baked into what we do. And I think that it's interesting because now spending a lot of time on social media, attribution is not as common. But in academia, you learn really early on that if you give a talk about your data and you cite all these amazing sources, all it does is make you look better. Whereas in social media and elsewhere in the business sector, it's almost like citing other people, people feel as if it's going to take away some of the credit. All it does is place you in the company of people that do really nice work.

So I have genuine and tremendous respect for Tim. He's been about 10 years ahead on a huge number of health-related things and other things in extremely kind person, very thoughtful person. So it's also just a pleasure to shine light on other people. Yeah, well, I actually, to push back, I know there's a culture of, if you write a paper standing on the shoulders of giants is a powerful thing, but there's also a culture of not giving credit to the strongest idea in your paper. And instead, say it's kind of or imply that it's original. There is a culture of kind of not celebrating others. I think people get most competitive in all walks of life, but especially in science when they're as the closer they get

in the exact other thing they work on. And so there's this dance, you know, there's a few researchers in each of the individual little things that you work on. If you're studying a particular kind of ant, you know that other asshole that also is studying that particular ant. And then you're not going to often give credit for the brilliant ideas that that other researcher is doing. And I think one of the things you've discovered and just as part of your nature, and which is why it's really great that you have an audience and you inspire others to do the same, is you celebrate that other ant study here. It's great. And you, everybody wins. It raised all boats. But that initial instinct to be like,

what is an borat? Like my neighbor gets a toaster, I get a bigger toaster. That mindset, you know, it's not that I'm not competitive in certain domains, but yeah, I get great pleasure from sharing things that I find. And I think that at the end of the day, you're as strong as your community, and you can build a wonderful community just by pointing out things that you love. Like, these are all just love. I

see a paper, and I love it only rarely do I think, I wish we had done that. I usually think fantastic. Now I can just focus on something else because they checked off that box and By the way you mentioned PubMed and barbecue I should mention that I got a chance to hang out with the Rick Rubin Thanks to you. He's a friend of yours and you made the connection. That was a huge gift to my Spirit, I guess he's a truly truly special human being and And there's a lot I could say about why he's a special human being. I'd love to learn how you met him, but I should also just mention on the PubMed thing, it was so interesting talking

to him about music, and both on the podcast and privately, and just listening to music together. Because when you mention a song, he does this thing where he like closes his eyes and he finds that song in the album that we're talking about and he steps through the album. You could see the brain like stepping through individual songs to find that song in the album and there's that kind of look-up process and then he puts himself mentally in that space of like okay this is uh you know whatever the album is and not just the ones he produced but all of these and the psychopie of music and it's so interesting it also the thing I really

love about it is something like a calmness that radiates from them that is located close your eyes and place yourself in the in the place where that album was recorded, in the feeling of that album, and like that silence, let's go there, let's go there together. It's like Alice in Wonderland and we'll go there together. You do a good Rick Rubin, minus the beard, minus the beard. His beard is epic, right? You can't fake a beard like that, you know. How'd you guys meet? Yeah, well, Rick, I'm very blessed to consider a close friend.

Rick and I got introduced through a common friend during the pandemic and we started doing some FaceTime together and just talking about things related to science and health. And I'm not a musician, I have no musical ability or talent. I have a good ability to memorize lyrics and I And I'm not a musician. I have no musical ability or talent. I have a good ability to memorize lyrics. And I love lyrics and I love poetry.

So I asked him a lot of questions about musicians that I happen to love that he's worked with and knows. And so he would give me stories about musicians. And I would talk to him about health. And then the eventually we formed a friendship where we talk about any number of different topics in life. And then we started spending time together in person It eventually we formed a friendship where we talk about any number of different topics in life. And then we started spending time together in person when he was in town or nearby.

And as you now know, Rick, in addition to all his incredible accomplishments, has an incredible understanding of how to get the brain and body into state, right? And as you pointed out, he's willing to do the things that allow him to help these incredible artists get into the best state to do their craft. And so if he needs to sit there and be quiet with his eyes closed for a minute or two and or more, he'll do that. He has routines to allow himself to get into state. And it's really inspired me to think about states of mind as something that, you know, we'd all love to just flip the switch and say we're focused or we're creative,

but to actually ratchet through the challenging steps in order to do that and to figure out what one needs to do on a regular basis to get into a proper state. It's not just gonna come from a cup of coffee, a lamp of a particular wavelength or something. It's gonna be those things, but it's also going to be really teaching oneself

how to get into proper state. Yeah, you did an episode on hypnosis. Do you think it's a kind of self hypnosis? Yes, I do. Because hypnosis is a con, you limit the context, you're very alert and you're very calm. And he has a number of these different practices. And then so we would talk about those. And then we also have enjoyed a lot of discussions about deep neuroscience. In fact, I introduced Rick to a friend of mine who's a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist. And

they've become friendly. You know, Rick is one of these people that he sort of defies definition, incredibly kind, incredibly private person too. So, you know, I'm being respectful of that. But, and then, of course, he's a fan of your podcast. And so, when I learn that, I just made natural sense to introduce you. And I know he really enjoyed meeting you. And we talk about you a lot. And of course, in a positive light, you know, I think his dedication to getting into these states of

mind and his willingness to do that has completely transformed my routines around life. Like, for instance, before doing a very long podcast recording, the solo ones, which often take me several hours or more six hours to record, sometimes more, sometimes less. I realize that there's a certain brain state associated with that. So I have to really limit the kind of interactions I have for the two hours before. I actually walk and talk out loud through my neighborhood.

People think I'm crazy, but I live in a neighborhood where there are a lot of crazy creatives anyway. So you're not crazy. Well, at least not institutionally defined as crazy yet. But, you know, getting into state of mind is something that we'd all just imagine we flip the switch, but Rick really convinced me you have to do the work to do the work. Can you maybe, uh,

linger on that elusive day a little bit more your process of how you get in that space? That's really interesting. Because I have to admit, I do everything last minute before podcasts. I don't know, like, there's a lot of anxiety because like, whatever, if I have to pack, if I have to set up stuff, you were luckily a few minutes, you showed up a few minutes later. Which for an academic is right on time. But the stress is immense. And on top of that, you look at like a situation

with Rick Rubin is out, I had to set up microphones in front of him. And just that stress, the anxiety. He knows a lot about microphones. What do you say, which I really loved? He's like, how close do you like the microphone to be? It's like, that's a very Rick Rubin kind of thing, right? How close do you like the microphone to be? That's a very Rick Rubin kind of thing, right? That the details really matter.

The details really matter right down to your relationship to the microphone, right? Distance and whether or not it brings out the tambour in your voice, but of course this is what he does. He produces music. But he also said like, he is the professional. He said, how close do you like it to be? And he said it with the gentleness where I had like an existential crisis. Where I don't know, he gave me so much like, wow, like he made me feel like an artist.

Like that the microphone distance is a decision you're supposed to make. Well, I have to say and this has actually come up in some of our conversations about you. I mean, you are an artist. And actually Joe Rogan, once I heard him talking about podcasting and the fact that he's always trying to get better at it, you know, and he described podcasting at one moment as an art, right? And it is. It's a certain medium of communication. And there's a cadence and a rhythm that when it's working, it really can facilitate the transfer of information when it's not. It doesn't. I mean, obviously, Joe, just being himself, has tapped into that cadence that allows, and it's made so many people excited to hear him talk.

When his case, in general, I think part of the art is refusing the world as you get a bigger audience, change who you are. There's one quote that I've seen out there where he says, I'm like the, talking about himself, he says, I'm like the fish that got through the net. There's no stage version of me, how he is, person is how he is, you know, out in the world. And of course, there's nuance to his life, right? And his different relationships, of course, but it's true. I mean, we've had the, you know, the great fortune of spending time with him out away from the microphones, so to speak. Joe is Joe.

So can you speak to your that process? You mentioned the walking and the talking to yourself. That's fascinating. Yeah. I try and do a couple of things. First of all, when I was a kid, I had a little bit of a grunting tick. When I was five or six, I would feel this buildup of tension in my throat and I would do this grunting tick. If I get very tired, I start to do it still.

We actually know that this is related to these basal ganglia circuits for go, no go. You've got an accelerator or a brake basically in your neural circuitry and kids with Tourette's in OCD, the brake doesn't work quite as well. And so one thing that happens is if I wake up in the morning, and especially if I'm well rested, well, if I'm not well rested, I do a hypnosis or a yoga knee-dra in order to recover my sleep, that works really well. But then once I'm into the process of preparing the podcast, I've already gone through my

notes. I know what I want to say more or less in the kind of general contour. And then I take a walk and I try to, so no phone with me and I try to assess whether or not my energy is too high or too low for podcasting. Because when you podcast as you know, you have to punch out a lot of material, but then there's times when you really need to slow down and emphasize and articulate. And so what I do, I don't have never revealed this, what I do actually is I will recite the lyrics of songs for about 10 minutes, songs I love, while I walk out loud. It calms you and focuses you. What is it different? I think it gets my vocal cords warmed up,

and it also do sing or speak now. I often sing them, and fortunately nobody hears. And as I do this, I start to evaluate whether or not I'm straining to get the words out, or whether or not I'm straining to make them slow enough so that I can articulate them. So there are days when I have so much energy that I'm trying to speak faster than I should in order to articulate properly.

There are other days when I'm tired and I can't sort of keep up with my thoughts. And so what I try and do is assess that and then adjust the transmission, the RPM, so to speak, for instance, I can speak very quickly and then I can slow down. So I can change the cadence of my voice. And when you teach in the classroom, you learn, as you know, because you're an excellent teacher, I've watched your lectures in the classroom, as you teach in the classroom, when you want to slow down, every teacher knows you turn to the whiteboard or chalkboard and you start writing, right?

It gives you a break. And then you turn around and you fire back the kind of machine gun fire of information. And then you slow down or you underline something. When you podcast, you don't have that opportunity, right? They're no visuals in my podcast. So what I try and do is always get my voice warmed up and make sure that I'm thinking and speaking at approximately the same rate. And then I also do this thing, I put my vision into panoramic vision when I walk, which is very calming. And then I actually start to remind myself of the purpose of podcasting.

This sounds very mission statement-y, but you asked what I do. I remind myself first and foremost that what I want to communicate, what I want to come through is the beauty and utility of biology. And I only feel comfortable saying the word beauty publicly now about science things, thanks to you because I love and beauty. Love and beauty. Love and beauty. Dr. Andrew here, we're in love and beauty, but also darkness and hatred. And if you're talking about the Lex Freeman podcast, you have to address the shadow also, the shadow side. But I think about the, I wanna communicate the,

the beauty and utility of biology. And then I check my, my emotional state. I wanna make sure that I'm not angry about anything. And certainly if I am that I'm gonna set aside for the podcast, because that's not a place for my, whatever I might be dealing with. I also really start to feel into the parts of the research

and the papers I found that I really love, because that's the part of me that I like the most, frankly. And on the podcast, if there's a paper, like for instance, we have a paper, excuse me, a podcast coming out soon about heat as a tool, you know, sauna, but some other things. And in researching this, I learned so much about these heat shock proteins and the use of sauna in Finland for increasing growth hormone, but also for the treatment of mental illness. And I realized I fell in love with this literature.

It's just a beautiful literature. These people are true pioneers for doing this work. Now everyone's in the sauna, but this was 20 years ago. The way the experiments were done were amazing with all these finished people with thermocouples up their rectum to measure temperature, swimming and pools. It's hilarious and great. And so I start to think about it.

And I think, you know, I just start to really access my love of the work. And then when we finally sit down, meaning my producer Rob and I, and record, I just sort of want to just bask in sharing it. Just like the little version of me when I was six or seven, I used to spend all weekend reading the Encyclopedia,

Guinness Book of World Records, making my mother drive me places to introduce me to, at this obsession with trapping animals when I was a kid, meet these people. And then on Monday, I would insist on giving a lecture in class, which is a little kid. So that's basically what it is. I just try and access that childlike energy.

And so I want to be clear, the goal is always to make the information interesting, clear, and actionable, and it's also surprising than that's a bonus. But that's basically the process. But yeah, I'm singing and talking and getting into state. And I used to feel very sheepish about sharing any of this as the first time I've ever shared it out.

But Rick was the one who encouraged me to find a process that works and continue to develop that process and not let anything get near that process. People in my personal life know this and when it's time, it's like, I don't care what else is going on, I'm moving into that brain state. And there's probably a process like that for anything that you do in life that you take seriously. So the people that have perfected this is athletes. Like if Olympic level athletes, they have to have a process like this. You know what, I think Tiger Woods actually was taught self hypnosis quite young and used self hypnosis often during his tournaments, sometimes to great success

and other times less so. Is there other places in life that you use kind of a product, like a mental protocol to get ready? Many of the best areas of life are their own form of hypnosis, right? You know that you're in hypnosis, if for instance, you're in a movie and something happens and you feel the emotional lift without being self conscious about it. Yes, I think that one thing that we've tried to do in our houses around meal times to try and set a state that food isn't just something that we just throw down

on our throats, and I'm fortunate that my partner cooks really well, and so I try and give her the space to do that, and that's a whole thing of her getting into state. And then for the cooking, that the preparation of all the... I can just see it. I just see the way she approaches the whole thing

and the pleasure in serving it and I'm an eater, not a cooker. But... Both are important roles. You can be a very good eater. I guess there's something about, is there anything better in this world than that feeling, especially if it's the family, getting on a table, just the warmth of that.

I don't know. It's a, the cold outside of the cruel world cannot touch you in this place that you've returned to. And if, I mean, did you grow up eating meals as a family? Yeah. Yeah. No television. No, well, I didn't really have television period outside of meals. So most of my time was spent, you know, like a straight cat outdoors just running around

playing soccer. I imagine you in this like dirt or concrete lot between two very high-rise buildings playing soccer in like athletic gear that you only see in Eastern Europe. You know how you come to the States and people wear their athletic gear and you go to Europe and you see, maybe it's the soccer culture, but you see athletic gear that you just don't see anywhere else. That's interesting. I mean, I grew up pretty poor.

So, first of all, I was always wearing my brothers, who's an older brother, brothers clothes. And they were like old, like my favorite things, were American things that I didn't understand. It would be like a Pepsi shirt or something. And it was just, that was the gear. And it was like too large for me, but I thought like a Pepsi shirt or something. And it was just, that was the gear. And it was like too large for me, but I thought it was the coolest person ever just wearing this fancy like Kanye, like type of fashion. Yeah, there's something

about I feel like in in Eastern Europe, they wear athletic gear, we're like the guys who like zip up. Yeah, no, that's like fancy stuff. That's like, those are the cool kids. I see. I see. The cool soccer players, football players that, they were in a league of some kind, so they would get uniforms or somehow, I was thought anyone who had anything nice had to do something really bad to get it. That was my way view of the world because like,

I guess I didn't understand how it's possible to be rich because most of us were surrounded by people who are poor and that life was beautiful and simple and it's like, why do you escape that life? But you still admire the cool, like when we got McDonald's, it was like, cool. When we got McDonald's, it was like, what kind of world does this place come from? Like who invented this? It's a fascinating view from a child's perspective of capitalism and such. But the fact you ate dinner together is really interesting. My parents divorced when I was in adolescence. So then there was a total fracture of any family structure. But prior to that, we ate dinner together every night. I was expected to know how to use my knife in fork,

and it was like a very structured thing. I don't know if kids do that now. If I ever have kids, they're gonna do that. And certainly, actually, on the way over here, I was thinking I was thinking, I really want a lot of kids. I want to like a whole litter and I was thinking if Lex has kids and I have kids, then like,

then we can, we can like pit them against each other with your jitsu. This is my chance at redemption. The long day. The long day. The long one will be engineers or physicists. They won't want to be biologists. But in all seriousness, I look forward to the day that our kids play together. Yeah, I think there's something such that the family dinner, the ritual of the family dinner, but also the special occasion

dinners, like where there's a little bit more preparation, a little bit more cooking, whether it's on the weekend or for some holiday in Russia, it was a thing that actually I find completely missing for the most part. In America, is there was neighbors. There was a, you broke the walls between families much more commonly. Like there would be kind of regular characters like a sitcom almost. You know, if you watch the sitcom It's never just the family. There's always like other characters that bursting in the door bursting in the door must

Start doing that here. Just to make you feel out. I just start showing you that. Yeah, I know where you live I think people want to respect like you know Michael Males lives next door to me and I think people want to Respect each other's privacy or something like that. And I think we all get super busy. And, you know, like, it's kind of work to do this dinner together. Or, you know, if you see it as a thing that needs to be scheduled, it's work. We get busy, there's a lot of stuff going on. But if it's part of a ritual, a part of the culture, all of those walls get broken down. And then you realize that's later looking back, those are the things you miss. That's what life is about. All the stupid stuff you're doing in terms

of coverear, whatever, all the busy thing, those don't matter. What matters is the people. In academia, this change in the last few years, of course. But one of the great joys was professors will stop by your office or your lab. Nobody set up an appointment. There was a guy when I was a professor in San Diego, a guy named Harvey Cartney's member of the National Academy. He's the truly the world's expert in the evolution of vision and evolution of brains generally. And he would show up in my lab.

And he would just start talking to the students and postdocs. And I mean, a pure encyclopedia. And then at some point you'd say, hey, Harvey, I gotta go and you kick him out, right? Or this guy, he's a physicist, David Kleinfield, who's the same way. Actually, David Kleinfield is interesting one. He, a student of his,

went on to create the Beavis and Butthead cartoon. And one of them is David. He's a physics professor. And now people can look him up. And David's one of those guys who's walking in your office. He just sit down and he's just start talking to you. And so there's kind of a family feel. It's like cheers or sign-feld or one of those shows where someone just walks in.

And yeah, I think you and I both share a love of the community around things. And podcasting is a little bit more isolated. I should say for the guest episodes, the preparation is completely different because it's more conversational. And so there, I don't do any of this business of putting myself into state. I just try and make sure that the guest is taking care of and I do list out the questions I'm going to ask before, but those actually really like the interview episodes far more than I like doing the solo ones. Just like logic, I mean. I just like learning from someone directly, because you asking an expert about something, like sitting here with you when we recorded the podcast where you were guest on the Hubertman Lab podcast, and for the first time, and finally, someone was explaining to me the difference between machine learning, artificial intelligence and all these other things.

You know, and I've finally forgiven you for making me cry about Costello on camera, because it helped me move through it. But in all seriousness, the interview ones are a sheer pleasure. The solo ones I really enjoy, but they're work. Sometimes I think I'm going to sweat a little blood prepping for that. Well, it's interesting, because I do think prepping for interviews is having a similar process might be also very valuable.

Like, I have to think about that, because I think when you do a conversation for several hours, especially when it's a high stakes one, so it's not like, you and I know, it's more like, it's just chatting and so on. The world order isn't gonna shift according to it. Although you never know, we can never. Knowing you will probably be in just a pretty controversial

topic in a few minutes. You like to ride the edge more than we do. There are a number of topics that I just completely avoid. And my response to those is always that I have a lot of opinions about that, but not a lot to say. My response to those is always that I have a lot of opinions about that, but not a lot to say. But whereas you've become far braver in terms of the topics you'll encounter, and some

of your guests have been a bit controversial, right? Some of them are people that a lot of people don't like, and you've been willing to just sit down and maybe it's the Jiu-Jitsu thing. I don't know. It is tricky. And you've been willing to just sit down and maybe it's a jiu-jitsu thing. I don't know. It is tricky. One of my goals for this year is to talk to people that a lot of people really don't like. Are you going to share what that is? And here I am. What people that are in prison, major political leaders, I've been thinking a lot about how to talk to really difficult

controversial figures, but find together something with them that's deeply honest about their nature, about the ideas they have about the world, Reveal something real and some people you have to be very careful some people are very good at Hiding the real inside them even from themselves. That's something I think about a lot I think about dictators the past and I put myself in the mindset. Well, how do you reveal something real about this person to themselves? I think that to me, and you kind of spoke to that, but a great conversation is when one where both of you discover something new. It's not just, so I love that too. That's my favorite thing, what you mentioned, which is allowing your curiosity and you ask all kinds of questions and get excited and to learn from an expert, but also

To push them to discover something about themselves about their ideas together and then that discovery and sometimes it's a like We don't see it in the moment, but the audience hears it It's weird to say like I will compare it to when you're a musician and you're playing with other musicians. You lose yourself in the moment. Yeah, it's all it's like it's working right. It's working, but you don't really see the big picture impact of what it's working right actually feels like. And that's where the audience Can could see that like if you talk to somebody evil

You know for me as an interviewer I have to empathize with that person if I want to understand I have to pull myself in that mind space and to put yourself in that mindset You really have to become that you have to put you have to understand the evil inside of you. Like you have you can't just think if somebody's in power and has used that power to abuse others, you can't just be a, well, I personally, a person who seeks to understand, you can't just be a journalist asking generic questions, you have to put yourself in a place where you're somebody who's given a lot of power and, you have to put yourself in a place where you're somebody who's given a lot of power and slowly you start to abuse that power. And what does that person become? Who are you?

I have to plug myself into those moments in my life in the past where I've been angry at something and where I've been cruel because I was angry in little ways, but then you magnify them at scale and I have to go there and that's very human and then I have to look at another person from across the table for me and I stand well here they're two and then you had more opportunity to do truly cool things and and then and then where like I have to plug myself into places where I've been, or can imagine I can go where I was cruel to others and was unaware of it. So I was in a mind space where I was thinking that I'm doing good and I was doing not good. Again, I've never

gotten the opportunity to do any of those things at a large scale, but all of us have done it at a small scale. And I plug myself into that. And then we're here, we're two, if it's somebody who's in prison, if it's somebody who's a dictator, we're in that space, where evil is, is all of us have the capacity to do that evil. And I have to imagine myself being able to do that evil. And then we're here together in that dark, dark place. And then if it's just right, something real can actually come, something from that person's childhood, maybe awakening to realization that I thought it was a good person and I'm not. And for that only happens when you truly empathize. Those moments of discovery are beautiful, but they also happen in science.

When you just have a conversation and you realize, I feel like talking to Stephen Wolfram. I feel like we constantly realize beautiful things together. On this element of evil and sociopathy, that you know, Jung had this notion that We have all things inside us and that we all have the capacity to be good or evil etc But I have a good fortune of working with somebody who has deep understanding of psychiatry but also psychoanalysis and Jungian theory and And he said to me recently he said you, you know, whether or not all people have

all things inside them is still debated in the psychology community and in the neuroscience community and as a matter of philosophy. But there are certain people, not many, but there are certain people in whom they've actually lived out many versions of their possible selves. In the first person. And so those are unique individuals. And even if they tapped into these things that as you mentioned, as a minor level, as opposed to impacting people negatively at a, at a, at scale.

So being able to access those different parts of oneself is key. And you've been willing to step into that, you know, my podcast is not one in which we which we get down to those matters. But you never know. We might do an episode on narcissism and sociopathy. The other thing that I took away from a conversation with a friend who was a deal a lot of years in special operations in the intelligence community, he said, you know, if you look at somebody's past, at some point, you will come to understand some pretty good

reasons as to why they became who they are. But you have to draw the, his words, the red line someplace, and what he was referring to was the fact that certain people, at least in the eyes of certain communities, deserve to be eliminated as a consequence of their actions, right? Regardless of what drove them to those actions. So it gets right down to the line between psycho-nature, nurture, neuroscience, and the law, and justice, complicated, complicated themes. I can think of a number of people that I would love

to hear you interview. And here I'm not revealing the reasons why, but except for the fact that I think you would be uniquely suited to bring out the important components of the conversation that other people have not been able to do, which for instance, it lives homes. This is one of the most mysterious and yet dislike people on the planet. She's sort of synonymous with deception. I don't know if there have been any real interviews of her since the whole thing. I haven't followed

that case. I listened to the book and I followed it a little bit because it was happening in my hometown, right? Theronos was right up the road. The building is still there. It's interesting. It's some of the most premier real estate in Silicon Valley, but nobody wants it. It's really. It's some of the most premier real estate in Silicon Valley But nobody wants it. It's really like it's very hard to sell a home where somebody committed suicide or committed a murder Even if it's a beautiful home. It's sort of feel like the Theranos building is that building So that would be a really interesting interview. I would love to hear that interview one of the most interesting Dark human beings in science

Yeah, and then there will even be people that say you know one of the most interesting dark human beings in science. Yeah, and then there'll even be people that say, you know, was it even science, right? It might have all been deception. It might have been one part deception, one part goal setting mixed in with clearly that there were so many factors impacting what happened. I think the big difference between Theranos

and that story and some of the other stories about Silicon Valley where people promised a lot more than they could deliver is they were promising things that were directly related to health and healthcare. People were taking blood tests with the understanding that the data they were getting was important information about sexually transmitted diseases and other diseases and making real world decisions on the basis of that. Whereas if you remember when the iPhone first came out and Steve Jobs was still alive and the phones were dropping calls, if you held it in a particular way and his response was

a little flip, he said, it's, hey folks, it's a phone as if like don't get so worked up. But people held them understandably to a very high standard. You know, she would sort of, it seemed, and I don't know because I certainly wasn't there, seemed like she sort of adopted this idea that you could get it wrong a bunch of times before you get it right, except if the allegations are true, and I think she was the found guilty, I believe, on a number of counts, that a number of the things

that they were doing were impacting real world decision-making. So Steve's point about the phone is just a phone, well, it depends on the call. If you're calling 911, then it's not just a phone, right? But in the case of blood tests and disease, you know, that's that's serious. I think that the Theranos case was super interesting to me because of the number of people from major universities and from government that both trusted her and that number of people who did not trust her and yet either didn't speak up or no one listened to them. It was only in the forensic version of it that everyone said, oh yeah,

I knew that she was lying, et cetera, et cetera. They were lying to multiple people involved in those lies, apparently. But I have a deep interest in the neuroscience of narcissism, sociopathy, and some of the darker aspects of the mind. So yeah, maybe someday. We'll do a podcast together. Yeah. In the kind of early 90s version of talk shows where we dark in the lights and we do it together, you can use your voice, because your voice is much more sinister sounding than mine.

Good cop, bad cop. Well, it'd be interesting from a scientific perspective of somebody who is a sociopath or a psychopath, how to reveal something real about them. I think that requires not just, well, I don't know what that requires. It requires the same skill that it takes to be a good therapist. Right. And some therapists won't work with sociopaths because they don't feel any progress can be made. Some therapists will work with sociopaths because for the wealthy ones, they often, they

want their money. I think most therapists are good and benevolent, but there's some that will do it just the same way lawyers will work with criminals knowing their criminals, right? Oftentimes because they're criminals, there are certain domains of psychiatry that are more tractable than others, right? Oftentimes because they're criminals, there are certain domains of psychiatry that are more tractable than others, right? Borderlines are interesting, I should just mention because they have this phenomenon of splitting. So in the world psychology, the idea is that being neurotic is actually the goal. The idea that you could be, you know, feel something and then work a lot to overcome it or have some

sort of defense mechanism in place, but that's not destructive. That's actually a pretty healthy state to be in. It's provided it's not destructive. Psychotic is truly delusional thinking about reality. And the idea is that borderline split, intermittently split between psychotic and neurotic. That's why it's called this beautiful work by Melanie Klein that describes this, which I'm just now kind of delving into.

But, you know, so the borderline is the person who is like, I love you, I love you, I love you. And then truly feels as if they hate you and you become the bad object. Borderlines are challenging for psychologists because of the splitting, right? Schizophrenics are challenging because of the detachment from reality. And narcissists are challenging because they're often so charming that even the therapists are charged.

I believe you mentioned Carl Dessarov. We'll talk about that. We're definitely not a narcissist. He's one of the more humble people, but he is brilliant. Thanks again to you. You've connected us. I had the pleasure of having a conversation with them. You had a conversation with them. I really enjoyed it on the podcast. You guys come from the same science,

from the same place, maybe different journeys, fast and level. We were post-docs together. Carl is truly the Michael Jordan, the Wayne Gratsky, five children, amazing marriage to it, also an amazing scientist is wife Michelle Monjee's in our neurology department at Stanford,

an incredible thinker, writer, very kind person, humble. Speaking of getting into state, sorry Carl, I'm gonna out you on this, but Carl, despite being at the highest levels of science and engineering and the practicing psychiatrist, his office is literally a coat closet with a small table lamp. When you meet with Carl, if you manage to meet with him, because he's very hard to get to, you walk in, you sit down as if you're going through some interrogation and some spy novel and he'll ask you, what are you most excited about lately? And I've

got 11 minutes or something. And that's a meeting with Carl because he's that busy. But he doesn't have the office with the pictures of the kids and the thing and all that, all that is kept elsewhere. So in order to get, I asked him why he'd work in this office, right, you work on light and channels of light, things relate to light of all things. Here you are in this dark room and he said, well, this is what gets me into the state of mind to be able to do what I want you to do.

Very rich, Rubin-ish, not at all the same person, but very similar in that he's figured out the physical space he needs in order to get into the optimal state to do the work that he needs to do in this lifetime. And it's very unusual, right? If I don't have a window, I kind of freak out. the physical space he needs in order to get into the optimal state to do the work he needs to do in this lifetime. And it's very unusual, right? If I don't have a window, I kind of freak out. I can do it here for a while.

We're in this black cube here, floating in space, of course. But I find that amazing that these people that are operating at this super high level are willing to actually deprive themselves of a lot of conditions. They're not sitting there with the secretary coming in offering them espresso every five minutes and things like, no, no, no. That's New York neuroscience. The New York neuroscience mafia is kind of famous for having all the tickets to the opera and this and that, and they enjoy lifestyle a lot.

The New York neuroscience poppin. Oh, there definitely is one. They know who they are. They know who they are. People don't know Andrew Cuban minutes from the West Coast and now he's just starting wars with the neuroscience mafia.

But they do amazing science. They think they love their lifestyle and that's wonderful. But the culture is very different. Yeah. Carl and I think Silicon Valley in general kind of prides itself on this kind of monk like it.

That says, system, right? So. But at the individual scale, be deliberate about controlling the environment. I think about that with the conversations too. I haven't been deliberate about that either in terms of controlling the space you're in. Visually, yes, by curtains, all those kinds of things.

There is nothing like the Lex Friedman podcast studio. First of all, when you do them remotely, I always feel like I'm in a witness relocation program. You only get the coordinates of the last moment. Yeah. And you always get the sense that there are people behind the walls that, um, you know, are recording things. Well, there's something about creating a feeling. I have a sense that there's a robot over there. There's several throughout this place. And I think part of that, part of creating a feeling would be having the robots constantly moving around and having a mind of their own, because that would most closely put guests and other humans that interact with into a place that's

closest to my mind because it's such an engineering mind. And one where when things come to life, it's a beautiful place to be. And whatever that is, that could be like art, but to me robots are art. And so I'm thinking about that both for me and for guests and I'm also thinking about the difficult guests just to return to you said Elizabeth Holmes the one person Maybe a couple of things I want to say is it one person but I Think I would like to talk to is Galein Maxwell I always get afraid right before you reveal these kinds of things. And now I know why I get afraid.

Yeah, I mean, again, assuming that she did the things that people claim she did, they're despicable, right? I mean, these were underage children, right? There's just no version of the story where she did the things, she was accused of doing and is still a quote unquote good person. There's just in my mind, right? And yet I think there is tremendous interest in understanding like what led her to do all that.

So at least for some people. Let me say a couple of things. So one is at a high level, let me say that she believes, or her current story is that she's the victim of who? A Jeffrey Epstein. Remind. I think I'll just leave that there as it is.

So these are ideas that you're facing. The nature of truth and the nature of the human mind is what it is and this is imagine folks if you wanted to a room with a person that says that what do you do next? Let me also say that I never or rarely, let me say not say never, I rarely mention names that I'm interested in talking to without having made significant progress in already securing that interview. So people sometimes ask me about Volodymyr Zelensky and Vladimir Putin. I do not bring them up lightly in terms of there's in terms of there being a path and actual conversation that said something i regret but i'm not sure i

know what to do with it but in the case of all the people i just mentioned i haven't been preparing for those conversations i only start really preparing seriously when it's confirmed because it's such a heavy burden. And one of the things I regret in having mentioned a conversation with Vladimir Putin before the one you came broke out in the past few years is that I would mention it very loosely, very casually, and without having really, deeply put myself into a place that I'm ready to talk to, and that's a fricky thing, because then the internet, the audience in general,

and just me when I listen back to my dumb self, think, well, why are you speaking so lightly about these topics? Well, I know you've had a long, standing interest in talking to him. I think now, you know, uh, well, I don't understand, um, how I would sit down and have a conversation with somebody like that, but that's not in the range of my skill sets, right? Or like maybe not in the range of things that you're drawn to somehow. Not so much. I mean, I would watch that episode with great interest. Well, you did an episode recently with this guy who was a former cyber criminal turn state

side, right? I think he works for the government now. And there was a segment in there, remind me his name, Brett Johnson. Brett Johnson. There was a segment in there where he talked about stealing a lifetime's worth of collected coins from some elderly woman,

and this was everything she had. And then he openly admitted that he felt no remorse, which is the way he described his purely sociopathic. And then of course we learned that he felt no remorse, which is the way he described it was purely sociopathic. And then, of course, we learned that he grew up in a family where criminal behavior was very common. It was kind of embedded into his notions of what typical behaviors were. And I found myself somewhat conflicted, but also hung up on this idea that he had behaved as a sociopath or in a sociopathic way.

And it created an internal conflict because he's quite charming guest and his stories are terrific. Especially I really enjoyed his discussions about how he would go out and do all these things out of a desire to please his girlfriend. So he was in service to other people, despite being sociopath, he could say he was in service to them

as a way to extract. It gets very complicated. I think the reason I went into science is that at some level, it's more about facts than it is opinions and judgments. And I don't know that I have the ability to suspend judgment over the away from the kind of top level contours of my initial reaction to like, if it's true, like the Glean Maxwell's and the Liz Holmes and the other sociopaths is one of just kind of revulsion and repulsion.

But that could also reflect the fact that I'm not as, you know, neurologically sophisticated as somebody that can spin all the plates of empathy, forget forgiveness, but also holding people accountable at the same time. That's work. That takes, if you think about, that's three, four brain circuits having to work in parallel.

That's the difference between chess or a game of go and a game of checkers, I guess, on playing checkers or I'm playing chess. No, so one is actually holding in your mind and two is the raw skill of conversation. You're, you're very, just having listened to your interviews are very good conversation, but the skill of conversation is really tricky. I'm not being self deprecating. I'm being just objective.

I'm not good at conversation. I'm working very hard at getting better at it. I'm speaking not about just podcasting. I'm speaking just normal life. I have anxiety from social interaction. Do you really? Oh, huge amount. Yeah. So this is interesting because I never detect that in you, ever. And I think there are people that we both know that have said to me that they too feel anxious and yet your voice is steady. I don't see any perspiration. You appear and you've got to call.

I was scared of shitless with Rick Rubin. He's a Rick Rubin is at when you first meet him is intimidatingly calm, but as you get to know him a bit, you realize that his the kindness and the generosity that you sense is real. Um, but yeah, I would never in a million years have guessed that you get anxious in conversation. Can I just make another quick comment? This may come off entertaining to you, Andrew. Well, maybe you've already gotten the same. But having mentioned Vladimir Putin,

Vladimir Zelensky, Galey Maxwell, there is a natural question. How does Lex have access to these people? Who does he work for? Like how it is the... Or who works for him? Who works for him? What does he have on others?

I'm actually... When I look at the mirror. Just somebody who kind of enjoys conspiracy theories. It I want to ask the same question like why I usually ask in the following way like how the fuck am I so lucky like who am I being in my robot being controlled by somebody else or like what how is this how is this my life right now? What is happening? It really does feel like a simulation. So let me just speak to several things.

First of all, I have no boss. I know of no am I controlled by any intelligence agencies of any nation. We're gonna get you a dog Lex. I can talk to him. I'm scared of getting a dog Lex. So that could talk to. I'm scared of getting a dog because I was fall in love. So deeply, I think that next time I'm bringing a puppy. I'm just gonna bring a puppy.

I'm gonna leave it here. I don't have. And then you'll never see me again. I mean, I love dogs so much. But I was also surprised and maybe I have never talked to an intelligency, you see, which is very interesting to me. I'm not that you're aware of, because they're very good at communicating with people with you. But I've been very suspicious on this exact point. That's the downside of kind of being an introvert have anxiety about social interaction, but then having so much love thrown your way because we connect over podcasts

podcast of a powerful way of connecting people so people come with you with love That I really love I appreciate, but I wonder like exactly this question like Like why is this person with the Russian accent talking to me and showing me so much love? Well, because it started to interrupt you again, but it's what we do. And it's a sign of interest, by the way, sometimes. Yeah, I have a colleague at Stanford and she said, you know, interruption, 75% of this time is a sign of real interest in what the person is saying, if nothing else.

Well, you're very lovable. Well, that, but- I mean, I learned about head jogging the fog from you. You know, when I learned, you know, you're very lovable. People love you because you're lovable. I love love, okay? So 100% and it's, I mean, especially here in Austin, Texas.

People are so amazing. I go just hugs it's, I mean, especially here in Austin, Texas, people are so amazing. I go just hugs and just, I love people. But do you want a family or are you eventually? 100%. No, I mean, you're, I take what you said as a challenge in terms of having a family with kids and they do Jiu-Jitsu and obviously defeat you and make you miserable for your failures as a father because you couldn't Are you gonna be a great dad build up an army of good Jesus people? But yes, I would love a family. I would love to have

Children, but I just want to finish that point because I'm nervous about I'm nervous about the way people perceive What you're seeing as a forest comp type character. Like who I am, I seem to be, and this is how the world seems to work, is you just try to be yourself, like you try to find yourself, maybe the better way to say it, and just be that, be kind to people, work your ass off,

and say F.U. Tonya, Be kind to people work your ass off and Say F you tell anybody that wants to control you or to tell you what to do Just be free and then put love out there in the world and doors open this karma thing seems to work Some like how the hell that how the hell my friends is you know How the hell did I get a chance to eat barbecue with Rick Rubin right like doors You guys had barbecue. Yeah, barbecue. He right of course He's from New York any New Yorker that I know has very high standards for food because bad restaurants don't last long in New York and barbecue Conses. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Texas barbecue. Well, you know, I would also add that you whether or not you realize or not, you took tremendous risk. I mean, we come from the same

original community, which is academic science, right? And to be at MIT and to start posting lectures online is risky, right? To, you know, I was third or fourth man in in terms of podcasting as an academic, because you had gone on Rogan many times David St. Clair had gone on there, you know the Especially before the the pandemic you just didn't see many academics and scientists talking in a public facing way So you took tremendous risk, right? You took tremendous risk always wearing that jacket and tie, right? The only time I haven't seen you in that truly is when we rolled jujitsu, which is, and I'm here being generous to myself saying

I rolled jujitsu and basically you choked me out in front of hundreds of classes. That was really, really. It was a great fun, and I thank you for doing that to have a beginner's mind. It's a beautiful thing. I have admittedly, I have not been taking the classes but I've been going to, I truly am, especially,

there's a small chance I might find myself in Austin a bit more often in the near future. But the, well, if you're out in San Francisco, you should train Mark Zuckerberg. He just started. So, oh, yeah. You guys can. Sure. I mean, he's actually, uh, something people listen to an episode, perhaps he's a fascinating human being to it. I mean, people listen to an episode perhaps is a fascinating human being. I listened to it. That's great. You took tremendous risk as an academic to do what you did.

So I do believe that when one takes intelligent risk, because you can die or can crash your career, you can do all sorts of self-destructive or destructive things when taking risks. You took risks and they paid off, right? And you take different risks at different stages, but I don't throw around the word admiration lightly. taking receipt took risks and they paid off right and you take different risks at different stages but I I don't throw around the word admiration lightly. I mean I admire that you were in this classroom in MIT and like I'm gonna film this and put it online. You one of your early interviews is with

Edelport Hall who's very hard to get to. I've communicated with Edel a few times. Definitely talked to him. I can't wait to talk to him. I'm dying to talk to him. I was supposed to do some course teaching with him right before the pandemic hit and then it got canceled because it couldn't travel. But getting to him is exceedingly challenging. So you do have this incredible ability to get to people and for them to trust you and know you

and I think it's through your authenticity. And I think it's the fact that you're willing to go places where people haven't been before. You know, this is what's the saying about pioneers, how do you spot the pioneers? They're the people with the arrows in their backs. You know, so that's the, you know, yeah, and that's actually a quote that I lifted from Terry

Sigmowski who was a, you know, I decided he sources again. Terry's a, you should talk to Terry. He's a computational neuroscientist down at the Salk Institute, Howard Hughes investigator, et cetera. But so, you know, taking risks that other people have not taken is, that's a real thing,

and to do it with integrity and rigor. That's a real thing. And so, yeah, I'm complimenting you and I hope it lands and lands deeply, but I also hope that people will hear that and understand that it's one thing to do what other people are already doing boldly. It's a whole other thing to launch an entire art form

or venue, and you did that. And you didn't write a book, hopefully you will someday, but you didn't go write a book, a lot of academics have written books. You went online. Jordan Peterson, another controversial character. He did it too, all those lectures that he filmed and then he's led to this other thing. So, you know, there's karma and then there's also having the spine to just put it all on the line and do something for which there is no prior example to hold on to while you go through those headwinds. The really fascinating, actually a lot of people tell me about you, Andrew Huberin, the

reach of a podcast is really fascinating. It's not the numbers of people to listen. I don't know if that's important at all. What's important is the depth of connection you have with certain people, it really moves them. And they really get you. So there's a lot of big Andrew Huberman fans that really get you.

It's not just the science, it's the stuff between the lines, it's Costello. It's not just the science. It's the stuff between the lines. It's Costello. It's the whole picture of a scientist that finds beauty and biology and reveals it. And they love you for it. You know, because it was on television at the time, I followed that Amanda Knox story pretty carefully. And I don't watch television, but whenever I would travel, if there was a TV and the airplane, I would find myself getting wrapped into things like locked up abroad. Like, and these things where, which makes you terrified to travel anywhere, let alone commit

a crime overseas, you know, the scenes of some of these prisons are so dramatic. And you know, I mean, her case got a ton of interest. And then, you know, she went and then was a student at the University of Washington and has talked quite openly about how she was treated and how people assume guilt and eventually, she was exonerated and we can only go by what we know with the law determined.

But these are people that the world is fascinated by. I'm guessing about a third of people have already decided. This person is despicable. Why would you ever give them an audience? About a third of people I think are open to or at least interested in learning more about them. And then I think the remaining third, kind of the third that the category that I put myself

in, which is, what can I learn about people and myself, even in my revulsion, right? What can I learn self? Yeah, what can I learn about myself from listening to this conversation with somebody that I like to think, I'm not talking about a man to hear, I'm talking about the other people that you're talking about,

that I can't relate to, right? Talking, hearing conversations with and about people that you cannot relate to is informative. Otherwise, your whole mind literally becomes insular. Right. Well, there's an interesting thing I also had to, ever since the war in Ukraine broke out, one of the questions I was asking myself, and this is not to be dramatic, it's just a very simple honest question that I think a lot of journalists that operate in the war zone or documenting filmmakers

that every single guy chance to meet have to be honest with themselves. Are you willing to put at risk your life for things you do? What are you willing to die for? Yeah, what are you willing to die for? It sounds very dramatic, but whenever risk goes up, I mean, I don't know, you ask that if you wanna take out a trip out the space on a commercial space flight, are you willing to die for this journey?

Now the odds they're really small. I just watched Apollo 13 again. Great movie. Yeah, great movie. I'm not going to space. I'm not going to space. Afraid of heights. No, I'm not afraid of heights.

It feels like a terrible place to die. Well, first of all, death anywhere is not great. Yeah, although, you know, I have a song teed up in my phone if the plane starts to go down. Yeah, I'm going to spend the last few. It's a rare song. Nobody knows it. It's a song off a B track of my favorite band, which is Rancid's that's on called the sentence. And nobody nobody, and I I love it and I listen to it almost every day Rance of the sentence. It's called the band is called rancid. Yeah famous bands. Yeah I really love those guys love their music And the song is the sentence you can only find it on a like a B-sider outtake and it's if you don't know

How to decipher Tim Armstrong's voice then you probably won't understand the lyrics, but um Because it's sung very very fast But if the plane ever goes anytime there there's turbulence, I put that thing, I put the headphones in, I'm like, well, you know, if it's time, it's time, I'm gonna go out like this. I don't wanna drift off into the galaxy, just slowly as fixating and freezing to death.

That sounds horrible. Just like I wouldn't wanna drown or burn. But on a plane is okay. Well, on a plane, if the thing starts going down and there's truly nothing you can do, you might as well at least listen to your favorite song. Yeah, true I'll probably go with the pixies was my mind like from fight club and just the calmness just sit back like The musicians playing at the Titanic. I didn't know you're a pixie's fan. I'm gonna have to not not know so much a pixie's fan

Actually, I should say that I just that was the where's my mind? It was the chosen song for fight club at the end when the buildings are coming down or something like that. So that the there's certain songs that just fit just right for the collapse of human civilization and you you're calmly appreciating like that. That's just it. This is how absurd this life is at any moment. It can end and's just it. This is how absurd this life is at any moment it can end, and this is it. This is, I love how we both have death and demise, soundtracks. It's just a question when you're an academic,

doesn't come up often. Right, well, that's all. Yeah, there are some academics that are bold and brave. It's not a phenotype, being bold and brave in the physical world is not a common phenotype of academics. I mean, the great neurologist, one of my, I don't have many heroes, but Oliver Sacks is a true hero. I mean, people think of him as a writer, but he was foremost a neurologist and he took

tremendous pushback from the neurology community for doing his books and his articles. He has a great biography called On the Move. There's a wonderful documentary that just came out about him. He died in 2015. I'm actually a collector of his things, but he had tremendous, but he was accused of horrible things until the movie Awakening came out with De Niro and Robin Williams.

Amazing movie, by the way, people don't, they seem to not say great things about the movie. I love that. It was amazing. And it was only once he became famous from that movie that his more academic work started to receive any kind of attention. And he was invited back to Columbia and NYU. You know, the New York neuroscience mafia is a real thing. And yes, you know who you are

and some of them are actually coming on the broadcast. They, they, there you are. You know, I think we talked offline about this. We should start a mafia to bat, to fight off whatever is going on in the East Coast. Although I'm still at MIT, so I don't know how that works. But, well, I'm different than New York. Yeah, so I have tremendous respect how that works. But it's different than New York. Yeah, so I have tremendous respect for science done in New York.

Don't get me wrong. They are excellent scientists. It's just a very different culture than on the West Coast. And the personalities, the personalities. I have tremendous respect for the mob. Well, and the personalities are a bit more grandiose. However, because of some of the shift in science culture in the last few years, things around scandals and things of that sort, they've been forced to tamp down some of their personality,

or at least their outspoken personality. And I actually think it's revealed something really important and useful in science, which is, you know, it used to be the case you could really inject your personality into what you do. You know, Richard Feynman's a good example. If he did what today, what he did then, Bongo drumming on the roof of Caltech, naked, working out theorems in strict clubs and things like that, he would have lost his job in moments. Right? So that kind of behavior isn't celebrated anymore. It's actually punished. And I'm only half kidding about this New York neuroscience mafia, but because I now exist in multiple realms, I can say these sorts of things. And I, again, admiration and respect, but I will say that I think it's important

that people in science are there and kids that are curious about science understand that you can have any personality provided that you're ethical and respectful in science and do well, right? They're true bench scientists that just want to be at the bench. They're people that just want to be in their office. They're people that really enjoy public speaking. And they're people that love meetings. And they're people that hate crowds. And so there's a place for every but truly a place for everybody in science.

I would like to be able to shine light on the fact that there are you can have a shy personality and outgoing personality. And you can all of those can be have excellent careers in science. But you have to find the community in place that's right for you. One reason I like Stanford is that Stanford is very much about the future. We have Nobel Prize winners, we have Field Medal winners, and all that stuff. And their names are on walls, and we acknowledge their great works. But most of what you hear about in the halls of Stanford is about what's happening now, and what could happen next. It's really about the future.

Whereas when I've spent time at other institutions not to be named, you hear that, but there's a lot of kind of recycling and regurgitation of how wonderful people are based on things they did previously in. And the students at Stanford because of Silicon Valley, sure, they have respect for Nobel Prizes. They're delighted to be learning from and surrounded by all these great minds, but they're mostly interested in what they are going to create. And so I kind of, not kind of, I really like the shift toward possibility as opposed to things that are steeped in tradition. You know, I've never been to high-table dinner at Oxford. I'm sure it's a wonderful experience. I'm also not sure what purpose it serves for the world, but I've never been, and so I

don't know what the conversations are, and so maybe I'm speaking out of line here. And now I'm definitely not getting invited. Now, you're definitely getting invited. But yeah, I'm with you. The culture's picked the right ones for you. That's why I like MIT, the spirit of it, to me, it's not about the past or the future. It's about just tinkering and having fun building cool stuff. Like the big ambitious projects is there.

I mean, maybe more in action than biology and the health side. But like the engineering side, it doesn't matter if this has any impact. Let us build the coolest thing the world has ever built. Well, whenever I'm in Kendall Square, I've seen, they have those buildings there that actually tilt toward the ground. These are these, the architecture of MIT is also really impressive. Yeah, he pulled up Sergei just pulled up, he almost tweet, I'm inspired by curiosity. That is what drives me.

So let us expand the scope and scale of consciousness so that we may aspire to understand the universe. There's those like three tweets and one but curiosity. Yeah, yeah. Curiosity for its own sake. What's that saying? I think Dorothy Parker said, uh, the cure for boredom is curiosity. There's no cure for curiosity. And you need to celebrate. So let me just briefly mention And you need to celebrate. So let me just briefly mention to my lovely friends at MIT to celebrate different weirdness, to celebrate the weird characters. I sometimes get loving pressure from my lovely friends at MIT to tone down the weirdness a bit. Really? Even from MIT? I'm very fortunate to have a lot of leverage

to where I have completely resist the pressure. But I'm very sure that there's young faculty that that subtle pressure would dissolve them into a puddle of tears. Not, no, no. Are they from Boston? Excuse me. Some Boston, that's right. They're tougher than that.

That's right, but it's a slight nudging towards conformity that I think ultimately destroys, or at least lessens the power of the kind of science that you can do when you encourage diversity, diversity in all of its forms, including the weirdness of ideas, the out-of-the-box thinkers, including the flamboyant behavior online, how you choose to educate, how you choose to inspire. You know, people talk about freedom of speech, but it's not just like freedom of speech to say controversial things. It's also freedom of speech to be weird. Like if you're for some reason fascinated in like, you look at

Elon Musk, he talks about sex a lot. Let the guy put sex memes up. Who cares? Like, I mean, I feel like Elon can do basically whatever he wants. Right, there's no pressure. But there's a bunch of Elon's in the academic world, there's a bunch of Elon, no, actually, sorry, let me backtrack, because the man deserves props. Right, he's done parallel. He's a CEO of major companies.

You better believe there's pressure to behave more like a CEO as opposed to a giggling schoolboy who's posting memes throughout the night. But that is him and that freedom. That's what freedom looks like. I talked a lot of CEOs and a lot of them feel like caged birds who have long ago forgotten how to sing quite honestly. Like, they, they, they, there's like shareholders and they come up with excuses for themselves.

Here's why I have to be this way. You have to understand. So on their PR, there's marketing people, there's lawyers, there's all that kind of stuff. But the final result is the authenticity suffocated. The beautiful weirdness of a CEO, of a leader, of a creator, of a scientist, all that. That's all gone. Steve Jobs went to kept his job and acting the way he did in his 20s and 30s in today's climate, but he probably would have updated his protocols.

So it's a bit of maybe screaming at employees. I mean, these are anecdotes, right? I call them anecdata because people treat them as data, but they're really just anecdotes. We don't know I wasn't there. But, you know, I like the idea of authenticity without oversharing. Right, you're very authentic, but there are aspects to your life that I'm aware of, that your audiences will never be aware of, and there are aspects of your life that I'll never be aware of. And so you're still authentic.

But yeah, which ones, like you're aware of? You know, I've got people gonna wonder like, what is, what is, you think I'm a sex dungeon? What is this? No, no, no. But an interesting choice of examples. No, but I think that, you know, people lose,

lose the careers on the basis of the movement of their thumbs, right? I mean, they chair of psychiatry at Columbia recently lost his position based on a response to a tweet. People can look that up. This is one of the most famous psychiatry departments in the world, and he put something out there that was very insensitive, frankly. And everyone that I talked to about it was like,

gosh, that was very, very insensitive, not thoughtful at all, and he lost his job, right? Or at least had to step down. I don't know the specifics. So, um, you know, I think I read some place that more than half of the job loss due to online behaviors because people were trying to be funny, right? I mean, not everyone can pull off what Tim Dylan, oh, and by the way, congratulations, I heard that you and Tim just got married. Yeah, it's all good. No, no, we didn't just get married. He proposed. Yeah, got it got it got it

And I say yes, right. So some people can get a way. Oh, yeah, thank you. Thank you, sir. Hey has that Has that brain? 13.3,000 likes one of those is mine as well. Yeah, so for people who are not aware one of the days in April Tweeted that Tim Dylan asked me to get married and I said yes, I think Tim Said the wedding will be on six feet in Austin bring all of your weapons, which of course is totally an approach This is I was I was like PG funny and he's goes rated our funny right away, but that said, I mean, if there's anyone, I would like to get married with this, this that guy and we would do it in Austin and when it would, it would, it

would be epic. It would be like the, um, the wedding from November rain. Um, one of the Mr. Mrs. Oh, wow. Oh, Mr. Mr. Apologize. Wow, yeah, and you broke and you broke tradition with the jacket color. So it sounds to me that you are a free speech absolutist. I think freedom is really important and that includes letting people who are hateful, letting people who are controversial, have a voice on platforms,

but it becomes, I'm not sure what exactly to think because I also treasure the quiet voices in the back of the room and sometimes the assholes silence those voices, meaning by being loud and obnoxious and so on, it pushes away the thoughtful people. So I'm also a fan of creating communities. Like you should be able to let people kind of build a community that's positive, that's loving or that's constantly trolling

or that's super hateful. All those communities should have a place in the world. But like, the thing I've noticed is that hate can destroy a community full of hate, can destroy a community full of love easier than a community full of love can overtake one with hate. And so you have to kind of, I don't know exactly how, but create digital mechanisms that discourage the collision of these communities. They should all have a platform and ability to speak until large audience, but you have to be careful to protect that little flame of connection that people have.

That's the goodness. It sounds like, I mean, the, yeah, I think you, you know, in any great city, like New York, which I love, by the way, you want to have a symphony in an opera house and you want some punk rock shows happening on the lower east side. You want all of that. You just don't necessarily want them to overlap.

In terms of social media, you know, and then podcast and then engagement and engagement, one thing that I decided very early on is was to encourage comments and feedback, et cetera, but I have in my mind what I call classroom rules. You've taught in the university and then you teach in the university and there's certain, you establish a certain etiquette within the classroom of the kinds of questions that you'll tolerate, right? So there's always the student that's going to ask a question, which is basically a 10-minute monologue about their experience, that really isn't a question that pertains to a lot of people.

So you politely discourage that kind of question, and you encourage the kinds of questions that are likely to be in the minds of many other students. It's just more efficient that way. Or not politely, which is more fun. Yeah. You know, I try and respond to comments, and I try and respond, but also, you know, there's this, also this really interesting question now, if you block people or restrict people, people think that you're somehow afraid of the information

that they're posting, but that's often not the case. I'm not in the habit of blocking or restricting too many people, occasionally we've had to do it, only because of how other people are being treated in the comment section. What I can take in what I think other people deserve to take are two completely different things. David Gaggins, right, who we both know well.

I don't know if he still does this, but a few years ago he posted something like, if people ask him, when do you sleep, he would just block them. Because it wasn't consistent with what he was trying to say. Of course he sleeps, but he's trying to get a particular message out. I think people should just understand that

everybody's page is their own to moderate. Just like in a classroom, there are certain rules of course of institution, but then you establish the etiquette within the context of the kind of class. A class about personality psychology or the psychology of love, you're going to have a very different range of conversations than a class on memory and physiology. So I think social media is a great place for conversation, but it's not necessarily great place for every kind of conversation.

Yeah, and I also just say that people that do get blocked, I never, this is something I do very deliberately, blocked, or ignored, I never think poorly of something I do very deliberately, blocked or ignored. I never think poorly of them, I actually explicitly think. If there's somebody that's like saying hateful things about me or whatever, I always think positive thoughts. It's not some kind of weird guru thing. But just actually found that as a hack.

I think well of them, and that allows me to never think of them again. Like I send them my love and like I think this is a like fascinating human being with a fascinating story. I would love to have time to actually learn about their story but there's not enough time in the world. And I just think well of them and then I move on and enjoy a delicious meal with people that are close to me and I love and so on. It just and move on. And never adding to the negativity of like just even in the privacy of my own mind, thinking a hateful thought towards them. It serves no purpose whatsoever.

I love that about you. And I know that what you just said to be true. One of the, I think, more toxic things in life is what's called, you know, evacutive projection. When people feel something and they try and evacuate it and project it on to somebody else, projection is fascinating, right? What you essentially just said is that you don't accept projections. And in fact, you transmute them to put in the language of the Buddhist, you know, you transmute it into positivity.

And in that way, you truly neutralize it and transmute it into positivity, and in that way, you truly neutralize it, and transmute it. I think that if people were better understood when they were experiencing or observing a vacuative projection, the world would be a much healthier and happier place. But it requires a certain stable internal rudder, and you know, when we're tired or

sick or angry, you know, we are hungry, excessively hungry, all of us are less good at it. I've been positively struck by the nature of most of the interactions, not just feedback, but my favorite thing as an educator in the classroom, but also on social media, my absolute favorite thing is when the comments to about other people's comments are positively reinforcing. So you see people having conversations within the comments. Yeah, and you realize this is like if you as an educator again You know it's fun to teach and it's fun to talk to the students But the real pleasure is in walking by a small group of students on campus and hearing them talking about the material That's that just fills me with joy.

Because what it means is that the ideas are reverberating in their nervous systems and we'll eventually wick out to others. So it's not just about feedback, it's about a venue for parsing information. So you actually posted that we're going to talk on Instagram and I collected a bunch of the questions which reminds me of I have to mention Mike Jones and Question he asked but also a gift he gave a quite a while ago if it's okay, but first quick math and break. Yes We're looking at Instagram page of Mike Jones knife and Tui should check it out

He get he entered give me a gift from him that looking at Instagram page of Mike Jones knife and tool, we should check it out. He gave me a gift from him that is a badass, but your knife yours is the earth, dot, dot, dots from if way, what you're coupling. Yeah, the story of this knife is kind of interesting, perhaps, to people where it was, I was coming out here to Austin to meet with Lex and it was his birthday. I want to get him a gift.

I didn't know what to get him. I contacted this guy, Mike Jones, that I learned about through Joe Rogan, because the first remember in the old days of Joe Rogan, when you go on the episode afterwards, you take a picture with an object. So it was like Elon with a flame throw or people would have the axe. I picked up this Bushwhacker hatchet thing. And I was like, I love this thing. And Joe said, oh, yeah, you should check out Mike Jones's work. He does these beautiful knives. And so then I heard your episode with Joe and you recited a poem at the end. It was right after your

grandmother died. And there's a line in that poem from if that Mike engraved on that knife for you. So he makes these by hand. I love the old days. Before the podcast. I said first appearance. That was the first time on there. And it was a lot of fun. In the old studio in Los Angeles.

And Mike makes these beautiful knives, and I have this, I just have a great admiration for crafts people. So, do you use it, do you cut your one meal a day steak? I feel like you're taking it with you on your travels. Exactly. I actually used to keep it on the table, but I thought it's really intimidating, his guests.

A little bit. But like, you put it on their side. Yeah. Right. It's like oops. It's trust, right? What's the story? I mean, yeah, but it's because it's not,

it's quite badass if I may say. So the craftsmanship is obvious, but also it is a knife. It's got some like dexter like qualities to it. Yeah, it looks like it's designed to cleave through a limb. If I had like a family or something where people, there's nothing about this place that softens your kind of sense that this might,

person might not murder me. Let's put it differently. This place could use a woman's touch. It's a long way to put it. If it's okay, let me because it is it is a poem I go to often actually. You mentioned reciting some lyrics and I'm actually going to go back to that at some point to get get a few songs that touch you But this is one of the things I go to often I I'll read it to remind myself. It's advice from From my father to son and it's a kind of mantra that it's just nice to live by so if it's killing me Just use this opportunity one more time, read F by Rudyard Kipling. If you can keep your head when all about you're losing theirs and blaming

it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too. If you can wait to not be tired by waiting or being lied about, don't deal in lies or being hated. Don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good nor talk too wise. If you can dream and not make dreams your master, if you can think and not make thoughts your aim, if you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposter just the same. If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twist it by naves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings, and risk it all, on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe the word about your loss. If you can force your heart to nerve and sin you to serve your turn long after they're gone, and so hold on when there's nothing in you, except the will which says to them, hold on. If you can talk with crowds and keep you a virtue, I like this one. And walk with kings and lose the common touch. If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, if all men count with you, but none too much. If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run.

Yours is the earth and everything that's in it. And which is more, you'll be a man, my son. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you, Mike, for the knife. I don't know. It's a wonderful call. It's been engraved in it. Yeah, it's yours.

Yours is the earth and everything that's in it. We toil over what to engrave. And then finally, I just said, Mike, just pick something that speaks to you, you're the craftsman. And so he selected that. There's certain ways to pull yourself in that book. Actually, Carl Dice, or I'll guide Dice, or I'll teach you, he wrote the book projections. One of my favorite first of all, just as you said, incredible writer.

Just amazing. Just, I mean, if you wrote fiction, if you wrote those kinds of things, I'm curious to see where he goes with his writing. It's very interesting. I think that book took him 10 years to write, which is vindication for me and for you, because we're both supposed to write books and we haven't done it. Yeah, I mean, you know, in some sense, your first book will have, you know, decades in it, right? Even if you just take a half a year to write it, it's like the first book, like the first album for a musician. I mean, it's a light, it's a journey. It's a, it's a, it's a, but he uses poems and quotes in there really well. It's a beautiful book.

It's a dreamy book. I think when people hear it's a book about neuroscience, they think they're going to get a textbook or a protocols book or something. It's nothing like that, but it really is a deep dive into the mind of the psychiatrist and the researcher and so much feeling and compassion. I love that you love poetry. I mean, I didn't know that until I saw you on Rogan Read If. And I'm not a very rabid consumer of poetry, but I'm a big wind-ulfed Barry fan.

And I try and read A-Pome once every few days. Also, I think if is a tough act to follow. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the richness and the, I think it if is a tough act to follow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the richness and the I mean, you said every Third line in there is something that you would you know, you Consider your life well lived if you if you said that right what about the Preparation for the solo podcast you said you listen to certain songs you you know, you sing, recite the lyrics,

certain songs. Is there ones that kind of come to mind that are interesting? Yeah, I've always been very lyrics driven and I don't understand music. I've talked to Rick about this. I think I've talked to you about this a little bit. I don't really understand, I mean, I can hear music and like it, but I don't really understand the structure of it, but lyrics make a lot of sense. But is it touch your soul? Music or is it the lyrics? It's the lyrics, it's not the instrumentals.

So I'm a huge Joe Strummer fan, and I'm gonna lose punk points for saying this, but I'm not a clash fan. Oh, okay. So he obviously is best known for the clash. Most clash songs start off great, and then after about 30 seconds, in at least in my mind,

just kind of disintegrated into a bunch of mush. Whereas Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros, which is what he did as an adult, as a, you know, later, and some of his solo work, he actually Rick produced some work that he did with Johnny Cash. You know, Rick pulled Johnny Cash out of, essentially out of retirement and how to do his albums before he died. And so anything that Strummer did, there's a, there's a favorite song of mine by Strummer, it's called Burning Lights. You can find it, there is an album now where you can find it or Tennessee Rain or some

of these things that he did which are a little bit more fokie, so not really punk. So I love that song. A bunch of songs by Ranset that I love. Yeah, that I love. And then if I listen to instrumentals, I do, I'll listen to classical piano. Some dreams are made for children. But it's not going to sound good as a poem. They can play the song. Yeah. So I'll, I mean, because it has to be something, Joe's voice is what makes the song. Joe's voice is what makes the song. Joe's voice is what makes the song.

But yeah, that song burning lights from a higher to contract killer. Oh, the lyrics are pretty good. I mean, Joe is an amazing writer, right? I'm also a big Bob Dylan fan, Glenn Gould for classical piano. He was at Asperger's, and actually, I think you can hear him grunting. He had a Tourette's like tick. And I learned about Glenn Gould from Oliver Sacks. So I'll listen to any number of things. It depends on my mood. If I'm feeling a little more tired and I need to be amped up, I'll listen to something a little louder and faster. If I'm feeling kind of keyed up and I need to

bring the cadence down a little bit, then I'll listen to something a little mellower pop here. I love bands like, um, yeah, I'm a big fan of this British pop band called James. There's like 20 bands named James, but this one, you know, and again, I lose punk points for saying that, but they're amazing. And best. Thank you for accumulating enough points where you can afford to be delusive. Yeah. But in any case, music and poetry are, they're the subconscious, right? I mean, if you think about a Bob Dylan song or a really good strum or song or a poem, the words don't mean anything when read linearly, but they make you feel something, they're tapping into the subconscious. That's really what they're doing. They're pulling on

neural threads of emotion based on either timbre or cadence or something that's independent of the word structure. And that to me is the beauty of music and poetry. I often say Johnny Cash's version of Hurt, that essay would be my favorite song ever. Well, he did a nine inch nail song. He did, he called it... I think Rick produced that. He pretty sure he produced it. I mean, he did, like, the Rick produced the, he pulled Johnny Cash out from a dark place to produce something that, I mean, when you look back as one of the great things ever in music, which are these like haunting covers of certain songs and originals. Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer did a version of Redemption

song together that is that Rick produced, which is on loop in my house sometimes, you know, for hours and hours. That song is fascinating. Bob Marley's song, song by Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer. You know, sometimes I think what it would be to be a fly on the wall when these guys were doing this. These songs of freedom. There's certain songs where you're like,

it elicit an emotion that's unlike anything else. I mean I was trying to figure that out with with Rick too like there's certain songs that make you want to pull out over to the side of the road and just weep or just get inspired to just get shit done or all of those kinds of things remember your family the people you've lost all that kind of things. Remember your family, the people you've lost, all that kind of stuff. I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. There are certain songs that I've loved so much that I actually won't play them during a relationship until the relationship passes a certain duration. Because if you start sharing in those experiences with somebody in the room

and it starts to become associated with the relationship, you braiding it in with the dopamine of love and that relationship ends, the song is forever tainted. There are certain songs that I will never play in the company of anybody else. They're mine. I just, it's too risky to give those up. I just, it's too risky to give those up. I love it. And, you know, and I think that there's like levels. They're, they're levels, right? Exactly. We'll leave it at that.

Yeah. And the interesting thing about this kind of preparing for the solo episode, just interacting with Rick about that process of preparation. And because you mentioned interviews, by the way, are you do solo solo? Are you the only one in the room? No, well, it used to be Rob, my producer, who I should say, you know, he's really the person behind the podcast. I mean, first of all, we're equal partners. You're just a pretty face.

We're just, and I'm aging, man, not so, not so, I love, I'm, I'm actually really, I like, I like aging. It's weird. A lot of people like get friends with Davidson Claire and it's all about not aging. I, I'm, I don't want to live past 90, 95. I'm just trying to get as much done as I can in this short life and do it right and with integrity and heart and accuracy. And you like the stages.

Oh yeah. If you read Erickson stages of development, you realize that every stage of life is a set of neural circuits trying to resolve a problem. And if you're gonna try and avoid that progression, sure, you might live longer, but it's sort of like saying, do you want to go win the high school jujitsu championship? No, you graduated high school a long time ago. So I actually look forward to the future, even if it means that I'm starting to shift.

I think that my biology will shift. I'll fight that. I try and take good care of myself, but I don't want to get sick. I don't want to suffer who does, but I'm embracing this whole developmental arc. I mean, we're not children and then adults. Our entire life is one long developmental arc. And if you fail to embrace that, you fail to extract the richness of what it is to be a human being. So in any event, for the, I record Rob is in the room, I'll sometimes stop and ask him for feedback if I feel like something's not landing right. So he gives, if it's clear, he'll let me know, if it's not clear, he'll let me know. Excuse me. And then, you know, Costello used to be in the room. The early days of the podcast, which weren't that long ago,

he's snoring at my feet and farting and smelling up the room and we're all just kind of like gasping for air. He's a bulldog. That's what they do. With him gone, it changed, you know, the whole thing changed. There will be another dog soon. And as you know, I've been moving through that grief process, but having him there gave me a levity that I miss. But in my mind, he's still there. Yeah, he's still there. So, and in time, there'll be another dog. And who knows, you know, maybe there'll be a dog in a couple of infants running around, but that would be more distracting. But there's no podcast that exists just because of the podcaster. This is true for Joe. This is true for you, your podcast for me.

It's not just a staff of people to post stuff. That's just the top level contour. There's the constant feedback and iteration of what you want it to become and trying to hold on to something that's essential along the way. Because everything has to evolve, but you can't lose the essence of something. Anytime a company or brand or a coercer, a scientist has done that, it just ends up terrible. It just becomes like a sanitar version of itself. So, to rake is very, the power of the people in the room is great to inspire and

to destroy. So you have to be extremely careful with the selection of people that are in the room. To me, I never really thought of it that way. I thought only positive things can happen. Oh, by adding people in the room. By adding people. Oh, I think if there were in audience in the room, well, you know, at some day, I'd love to do a live podcast with you. Yeah. We're just, I saw you doing like a couple of live things, which is great. You're paving the way that it's it.

Well, we did try things. I went up to University of British Columbia and did a lecture on a college campus. And one of the more gratifying things that happens, this got this kid, says early 20s, I think stood up and said, you know, I've never been on a college campus and one of the more gratifying things that happens is this kid, say, his early 20s, I think stood up and said, you know, I've never been on a college campus. I didn't think I could go on to a college campus. And I still rings on my mind, whoever you are out there, that meant so much to me because I was like, yes, there was something about that to me. I was like, okay, this, it made sense to come all the way up here and do this in person because you can get

out to a lot more people online. Public speaking events, it's not like it's that lucrative or anything. I mean, unless you're, whatever, you're famous celebrity or politician or something, I'm sure there are people that do well with it, but that's not what it's about for us. It's really about being able to connect with people in a different venue

and for interactions like that. I don't know how many of them we will do, but I'm curious to see how it goes, but I'd love to do a podcast with you. Well, is it energizing? My fear is the fear of the introvert is that I don't know if I can handle so much love and fascinating people all around. It's like, I don't know.

Well, we'll invite a few haters too. Well, yes, but I love the haters too, but I don't know Mix well will invite a few haters to Well, yes, no, I mean, I love the haters too, but I don't know it makes me nervous because I Jordan Peterson's currently on tour. I got a chance to hang out with him Oh right, he does he does a lot of life speaking. Yeah, he does like he's now on tour. We does like every other day and He doesn't have any small kids at home anymore So you know, so yeah, you should do it before you're exhausting. I mean, I'm just speaking from an athlete perspective. Like if you're a Mick Jagger with the Rolling Stones, it's just physically, I mean, you have to

speak potentially for two hours, then off stage, like hanging out with people. It's a lot. It's a lot of hours. It's a lot of hours. Just they focus to keep finding your place of calmness and excitement. Well, and you're staying in hotels, you're circadian rhythms disrupted. You're not getting your cold and sauna and your workout every day. Your food isn't optimal.

I think done in patches, I could enjoy it because it's fun to meet people from different places. I'm doing a public lecture in Copenhagen for the Lundbeck Foundation in June, June 3rd. And that one is particularly gratifying for me because the Lundbeck Foundation is an academic foundation. So the fact that, and then so when they invited, I asked, you know, do you want me to talk about what my lab does? Or do you want me to talk about the stuff on the podcast? They're like, no, no, not your lab. You know, we want to hear about this about what my lab does? Or do you want me to talk about the stuff on the podcast? They're like, no, no, not your lab. You know, we want to hear about this, like health stuff

and the stuff that we cover on the podcast. So that was amusing to me and tells me that, you know, things are changing now. I think 2020 and 2021 revealed a lot of things about people to ourselves, but one thing that it made very clear is that there's an enormous appetite for tools for mental and physical health, but also understanding about science and how science is done. So thanks to you, again, I'm not saying this to flatter you, it's true gratitude.

There is now a runway for scientists to talk to people. I mean, you had the, I always forget this guy's name, the virus guy from Columbia. It's in your Rakaniella. Yeah. Amazing, right? I mean, forgetting the controversy around all the stuff of 2020-21 I mean he is in Encyclopedia of all things Virology. Yeah, people should listen to his podcasts this week in Virology. He's also an incredible lecturer and educator

It's fascinating. It's fascinating. Yeah when people take again that leap of putting all that education online Yeah, when people take again that leap of putting all that education online That's non-controversial at all. It's it's like everybody there People should go listen to him for the most part in terms of At his best at least there's no politics in it. There's there's there's none of that He's a virus jockey. He likes playing around with Bacterium viruses and but that said we all like your biology He's a virus jockey. He likes playing around with bacteria and viruses. But that said, we all like... Stucular biology.

We all say stuff carelessly all the time. So he gets in a bit of trouble on some of the things you've said about, like, dismissing lab leak theory, like, there's no way. He dismisses that, yeah. But not, he's not making the folks. There's a difference when you say stuff like off the cuff and when you say

stuff that's like courts your principles and you've thought about it for a very long time, you talking for hundreds of hours and you can just say stuff, you get to say your opinions. Will Smith slap that? I was wondering, okay, wait, how long have we been recording? I was wondering how long it was going to take us before someone talked about Ukraine. No, no, Will Smith. Yeah. I was wondering whether or not we make it the, I had it planned.

Yeah. I was literally in the back of my mind. I had it planned that at the end, if we didn't talk about the Will Smith, Chris Rock thing that I was going to say, it's amazing. This is the first conversation to happen in a long time where there wasn't mention. Oh, I think he's not short on material. But I do. See, if I knew what I wanted to tweet, if I knew you're a lot to just slap comedies, my conversation with Tim Dylan, what have gone very differently. People just being humans. There's so much fascinating human nature on display there.

It's also in terms of it becoming a topic that a lot of people are talking about versus the war in Ukraine, for example, is also fascinating to watch, like just these kind of new cycles moving through. I think if I may, I started to interrupt, but you know, anytime we observe something very limbic, very emotional, you know, we generally can empathize somewhat. Right. We all know what it's like to feel angry. We all know it's like to feel ashamed. We all know what it's like to feel shocked. Images of war are for most people very hard to relate to. We see it.

It's, you know, these, there's images and they're very traumatic and challenging to look at at times. And yet most people have no idea what it feels like To be shot at or what it feels like to have your home destroyer what it feels like to be An aggressor in that way. So it's very so I think that people naturally orient towards things that feel familiar to them Even though the circumstances are different and And people also forget, they look at these celebrities, just like looking at criticism of Walt Smith, you forget that they're human too. That's one of the most surprising things for me, having done this podcast and met celebrities and stuff like that, they're human, they're all human.

That's inspiring to me, like some of these great folks that have on Nobel Prize and built some cool things. They're just human, like the rest of us. Well, and if you look at actors and actresses, I mean, there's some amazing ones, right? And who also do well outside life, but their careers were built on the business of pretending to be other people. Yeah.

And that's got to distort maybe positively, but also just let's be honest, what it is that the neuroplasticity there, the changes in the areas of the brain that represent personality, have to be quite different for somebody who pretends to be lots of different personalities and gets paid for it.

You're working the reward system into the system of self-identity. And you have to imagine that that can really contort somebody's neurology in ways that maybe they are not as, maybe they are not in touch with reality in the same way that we are. Earlier we were talking about neurotic versus psychotic. They may be more borderline in their kind of ground state than we think. And so I'm actually impressed anytime there's a celebrity who doesn't have a messed up life.

I'm like, oh wow, you know, finally somebody who's managed to, you know, maintain some semblance, at least from the outside of normalcy. So first of all, I can empathize with the actions that Will Smith did, right? They're not, I think they're kind of, not kind of, they're just shitty. You should probably talk privately, man to man, not,

because otherwise it's like a dramatic display. It's like, it's almost like you are a fake act, you're acting. Well, there are all these questions, right? I mean, obviously it was aggressive at some level. There's this question of whether or not it was impulsive. I think most people feel yes. There's a question.

There was a protective nature of it because he was doing it to, you know, it apparently in defense. But then there's also the context he lost touch with the context, right? Whereas Chris Rock basically gets, there's the possible critique that he went too far, that's gonna be in the eye of the beholder, but then, depending on how you view comedy and jokes, but then there's also the fact that he took that slap and then just snapped right back so much

so that people thought maybe it was faked. Yeah. He also waited with his hands behind his back. That's his nature. He likes to stand like that. I mean, I, I gotta to a little bit of a story here to connect to what Chris rocked. Like I, I wish what Chris rocked

to just taking this lab and keep going. First of all, just props for somebody that's able to maintain cool in that situation for the most part. I think I'd like to watch it once. You only have to be alive on this planet. Yeah, I know. It's hard to see it.

You can't avoid seeing it. I wish, at that afterwards, he would sort of say something loving and kind to Will Smith and his wife and then hit him real hard. Lean into the joke. Yeah, but they're, I think in hockey, they call taking a number of a friend who plays hockey and there's this idea that if someone checks you really badly in one game, you don't go and check them again.

You don't get into a fight, but three games later, you like, you blade them in the shin. Yeah. Like you, so what, the ability to defer and to handle it in whatever fashion one feels is They're probably also friends and all those kinds of things that they respect each other So he probably didn't but there's a comedian instinct. I saw this I was in an open mic in

Here in Texas. I won't say where there's many open mics You know, if you go on to a few of these these are pretty yes. No, so there in here in Texas, I won't say where, there's many open mics. You know, if you go on to a few of these, these are pretty fun. No, so there is more sort of rougher, kind of, yeah, you've been hanging out on West Texas. Yeah, exactly. Austin's two team for Lex, so he's like head to West Texas. Exactly.

I put on a cowboy hat and instantly became a cowboy. I've been talking like a cowboy. I mean, I belong out there in the desert. He's gone from eating meat and athletic greens to rattlesnakes. That's exactly right. No, there was an open mic as late at night. I was one of the only people in the audience. There's a couple of drunk folks, a few drunk folks. One of them was a couple, and like bikers, like with helmets and so on, a guy and a girl.

And then the comedian, the open mic comedian, did a joke about people who wear helmets. I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but he did the joke. And then the guy about women who wear helmets. I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but he did the joke. And then the guy about women who were helmets. And the guy, this is the exact same situation. The guy stood up, walked up to him. There was no slap.

It's so interesting, because this happened before the Will Smith thing. So he walked up to the comedian and said he, I think he pointed his finger down and told him to stop or something like that and then sat down. This is an audience of like six people. And at midnight around then, there's nobody, no security, nothing in Texas, in Texas, which implies, oh, then this guy was the energy drunk, but also a biker

and his, what he felt, his lady was now attacked by the comedian, right, with his words. And this, and the comedian was a kind of out of shape, small guy. So it's not threatening it all. And probably in trouble. And the comedian after he sat down, he looked a little bit scared. He paced back and forth. And then he did the joke again. Wow. And I was sitting and I started, I lean back and I just did this like Because that is comedy and the guy was angering angering anger and he just sat there in and the community went on for a couple more minutes And then did another Bad joke, but another joke about how much just like he leaned into it if you go to a small comedy club open a micro otherwise

You're in the shooting gallery like you're basically there teed up as a pin It's just like he leaned into it. If you go to a small comedy club, open a mic or otherwise, you're in the shooting gallery. Like you're basically there, teed up as a pin to get it. We went and saw Andrew Scholes in San Francisco. In San Francisco? Yeah, it was hilarious. It was amazing.

I mean, he's just masterful in his ability to command an audience. And I felt for the people up front, but no sympathy either because, you buy tickets to sit up front at a show show, you know, you're going to get it. But he was very loving. Yeah. And funny. First of all, he's funny. The funnyness really helps you. But the ethic of the comedian is like that fearlessness. I would I really like like is like the danger, there's risk to comedy, and there's also consequences.

Have you watched that show? What is the Marvelismist Macyl show? It's really good. I watched a few of them, guilty pleasure there. She plays a comic in the, I think it's mid 1960s in New York. And there's a character that somewhat resembles Lenny Bruce. It's sort of meant to be Lenny Bruce. And they're always getting arrested.

And that's kind of thing. I think I learned about it from Joe. Anyway, the writing's great. It's very funny. But yeah, comedy is designed to push boundaries, right? And to get, and to say the thing that, you know, other people aren't, feel they can't say. Not something in science, right? Science, you're supposed to etiquette is a big part of how you communicate ideas. It's about constraining communication.

This is something I, I mean, I confess on the podcast that in the goals of making it clear, interesting, surprising, and actionable, you know, you have to constrain the amount and the style of information. Otherwise, it becomes something else altogether. Right. I saw Sandra Parchai, Google CEO said that he likes the thing you mentioned, not the yoga ninja, but the NSDR and not sleep deep rest podcast over meditation. I don't know if you saw that. I saw that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Why, what do you think that is? What do you think the difference is? Yeah, so non-sleep, deep breast, NSDR is an acronym that I coined because it encompasses a lot of practices that are not meditation per se, but that bring the brain and body into a state of relaxation and focus. So hypnosis is one variant of NSTR. There are other variants of NSTR. You can just look these up and you'll find them.

And I think that they've caught on and that the Google, the CEO of Google is an avid practitioner of NSTR because it has this amazing ability to reset your energy levels and focus. Whereas with meditation, many people find meditation hard. It's amazing ability to reset your energy levels and focus, whereas with meditation, many people find meditation hard. And part of the reason they find it hard is that it requires focus. NSDR is a state which is very calm and relaxing.

You don't have to work too hard. You're just listening to a script where as most forms of meditation, not all, but most forms of meditation involve cranking up the activity in your prefrontal cortex and trying to see your thoughts as opposed to thinking your thoughts or focus on your breath, but then third personing yourself in some respect. And that's work. And so many people who meditate quite intensely

feel more exhausted. Now, that doesn't mean that meditation doesn't have any utility, but it's distinctly different than NSDR. And I think that people are working, certainly the CEO of Google after Imagine is working very hard and using his forebrain. If he's going to have 20 or 30 minutes to take a break, he should, and I think this is

what he's doing, he should go out for a jog and not listen to anything and just kind of let his mind wander or sit there in a chair and just zone out or do NSTR. The problem is people are not that good at shifting states. We are all actually pretty good at even people with severe ADHD. We didn't episode about this. Can become hyper focused on things that they actually enjoy because dope and most of the drugs designed to treat ADHD are drugs that increase the levels of dopamine. So when you like something, there's dopamine release and you can focus. it's when you don't like something that's hard to focus. Shifting states is hard. I'm sure you've experienced this if you've ever been in deep research

or podcasting, podcasting, and then all of a sudden you go for a run, you probably spend the first third of that run thinking. And then in the middle third, you're kind of that thinking is fractured a bit. And then in the final third is where you finally get to relax. Because the brain doesn't shift states very quickly. We can go from sleep to wakefulness quickly. We can go from wakefulness to sleep quickly. But we don't shift between different states of consciousness like a step function, except in rare cases, right? Fear is one. All of a sudden we hear an explosion right now. It's a step function. We're in fear. We're in alertness, right? A heightened state of alertness. But NSDR is terrific at allowing people to learn to shift their state. And I actually would venture to argue that part of the value of meditation and exercise is

the actual state that you get into in deep meditation or exercise. But just as valuable is the transition that you have to take yourself through from one state of mind to the other and then back again. When I look, you know, David Goggins, he always seems to come up, but he represents so many important things, drive determination, override of emotional state, going from being a 300 pound plus person to a fit

person through, he's never revealed anything substantial about what he ate or what he didn't eat. He's basically says, like, listen, run a lot, eat less. Right. But what's remarkable is so much of what he says is about those transitions, about taking oneself from a state of, I don't want to, to scruffing oneself

and like, you're gonna do it anyway. And then being able to carry that into regular life, so to speak. So I think that NSDR is immensely powerful. It's zero cost. And one of the reasons I'm such a fan of people doing it is that most people don't stick to a meditation practice. There also been a few cases you might find this interesting.

There's a book by Scott Carney. I forget what it's called. I think it's called the transcendence trap or something. I'm going to have that title wrong. But there have been a fair number of cases of people that go and do very extensive meditation, silent meditation retreats, who then return to normal life and end up killing themselves. There are states of mind inside of extended meditations or silent meditations that are very beneficial. And I'm certainly not suggesting people don't meditate.

But I know at least one person who came back from one of these long-extend meditation retreats and wasn't able to shift their state back into one that was functional in regular life. And that book includes a very dramatic story. I don't want to give it away in case people check out the book, but Scott told the story to me directly once where someone feels they've reached enlightenment and then commit suicide. So these very unusual brain states are potentially hazardous if people can't return from them. So it's nice to focus not on those brain states, but instead on the shifting.

Right. This morning I woke up a little bit earlier than I would have liked. I use this Reverie app that's research-backed REVRI.com. There's a free version of it and you can try it for free. So I feel like I'm not a hypnosis. For hypnosis. And I do a self hypnosis to put me back into sleep. And if I can't sleep, just put me into a state of deep relaxation.

I would put hypnosis under the category of NSDR. You'll get need you're under the category of NSDR. You'll get need you're under the category of NSDR. There are now some NSDR scripts online. If you just go to YouTube that are you can just listen to and do you like those? I do. Yeah. I think the one from Made For is quite good. I have an affiliation with them, but it's free. So I feel comfortable mentioning it. I do. I really like the Reverie app. I can very, and as you the more you do them, the more quickly you can shift your brain into a state of deep relaxation. I will sometimes stop mid-podcast, if it's, sometimes our recordings go seven, eight hours,

and I'll stop and I'll do a one-minute hypnosis. They have one-minute hypnosis inside of every. You're only going to find that one-minute hypnosis is effective if you are routinely doing 10 and 15-minute hypnosis in addition to that. Meaning, I do it every other day or so, a 10 and 15 minute hypnosis in addition to that. Meaning, I do it every other day or so, 10 or 15 seconds. So, is there a YouTube, one minute hypnosis, or is this for the... There are, but inside of Revery as well, you can find them online.

A really good... Pull it up, sorry, please. Yeah, so Revery is good. And then Michael Ceeley, S-E-A-L-E-Y, he has some long hypnosis scripts. But again, these are all free. And, you know, there's a lot of good research now on the neural networks and it shifts your so-called default network, the default mode network. It shifts how much of your forebrain you're using. And

it also is very, very good. If you, I get so many questions about, hey, I'm really upset. I found out about my girlfriend's sexual past or, hey, I'm really upset. I found out about my girlfriend's sexual past or, hey, I'm so upset, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating or, oh, so and so died. How do I get over these emotions? How do I deal with them? And hypnosis has shown to be very useful for people to learn to bring themselves into a state of deep relaxation, to literally project in their mind's eye these very intense things that they don't like. And then for people to associate with other emotions in their mind's eye, these very intense things that they don't like. And then for people to associate with other emotions in their body to learn to be calm while feeling your feelings, to dissociate the mind body communication to some extent.

There's just observed the feelings. Observe them and start to associate them with positive experiences. You're an Android guy, so soon it should be available on Android. Well, then it doesn't exist for me. Yeah, I know. You know, I don't get it. Android is the device of the people, all you elitist people with your iPhones. Okay, but tell me this about Android. Now, you wanted to... This is the one thing that gets me.

Yeah. Because I'm very close to someone who uses an Android phone. I feel like that. So you have great people in your life. That's good to know. No, the message has always looked green to me, but I answer yours like that. So you have great people in your life, that's good to know. No, the messages always look green to me, but I answer yours despite that. But they, I feel like the Android phones are very trigger happy. Like anything I touch does something, whereas the Apple phone is kind of built for like a Macac monkey to be able to operate, which is great for me because I'm more of a Macac

monkey and you're more sophisticated ape. Oh, I see, I see. I think like you have to be more sensitive. You have to have, you know, I mean, I've got fat fingers, you know, I'm more of a macaque monkey and you're more sophisticated ape. Oh, I see. I see. I think you have to be more sensitive. You have to have, you know, I mean, I've got fat fingers, you know, I've got clumsy fingers. I see. The Android is too, well, maybe you need to soften your touch. What I would do is go into the most sort by most popular, because there are some older ones that I really like and generally scales with that. So I'll do the this one, the hypnosis for clearing subconscious negativity. That's an hour long one, the sleep and anxiety one, 40 minutes, but those you listen to

as you fall asleep, as you fall asleep. But we're going to do this now. Yeah, yeah, listen to it. And I have created this hypnosis recording for you to help you. And that's the voice. How often does the voice pop up? And at the same time, you don't watch it. You just listen to your anxiety.

Now one of the most important things to avoid voice outside of any self hypnosis experience is to know and understand. So people really should know that stage hypnosis is about the hypnotist getting you to do things you wouldn't normally do. Self hypnosis, which is what we're talking about here, reverie in this, is about you getting your brain into the state that you want. And again, I mean, there's a ton of neuroimaging data and work on trauma and pain relief

and our labs are working on this with David Spagles Lab. I really encourage people to explore NSDR and if this feels a little too wacky and out there, then I would just put in NSDR into YouTube and there's some good NSDR scripts. Yeah, that's by the way, Sunnars is a fan of your podcast. No, it's okay. We don't need to play. Yeah, so I don't know him, but I did a lot of media outlets picked up on his love of NSDR and I have to imagine running Google It balls a lot of juggling a lot of these were the great CEOs because everybody loves them everybody loves them Have you interviewed him? No, but we'll do the interview eventually

So it's this annoying thing about me being a stickler for three hours CEOs don't seem to understand like not understand, but it's scheduling. So what happens is Sonders said, yes, definitely, as do it, I'm a fan of podcasts, as a fan of yours. And, and then it goes to his executive assistant, like, oh, let's find a slot. And then they immediately think, all right, well, one hour is good. 45 minutes. 90 minutes. good 45 minutes 90 minutes by zoom 90 minutes yeah right well no they know in person though but I'm still on that but like it's

like no we need more and it's so hard to do still travel to do your podcast or general no most people come down here most people but for certain obviously, like if you're a prison, right? Right. Or you're ahead of you. You get out on work for a lot of people have anglets so that they can go to an elect's treatment party. It probably happened. Have you ever been in a prison?

No. You know, either a visitation or on the inside. From my hike, I can see San Quentin. It's really weird that San Quentin and Alcatraz, Bay Area, beautiful, everyone thinks, there's the Bay and there's Alcatraz and San Quentin sitting right there. That makes you feel.

It's amazing how easy it is to overlook that they're there and forget that they're there, but when I drive by San Quentin, I think about it. I also think about the people who are in there who might be innocent. I've seen some of those episodes on Rogan and elsewhere. And Amanda Knox talks a lot about this, right? Whether or not you believe her story or not, I happen to believe her story personally

based on what I know. You know, I'm sure there are people disagree with me. I think to myself, what it must be like to be in a cell and know in your heart's heart, you didn't do it. You know, I mean, I can't think of, I can't think of many things worse. I can't think of many things worse. That's so clearly unjust, but life is full of unjust things like this. Cruel things happen all the time. You lose a loved one for no good reason. You lose your job.

You lose your home. Yeah, I've been talking to a lot of refugees now. And the war in Ukraine has really focused my mind to how much suffering there is in the world. And so just cruel things happen all the time. And people kind of there's the suffering and you kind of go on. You stick to the people really close to you. There's still love all around you. Traumatic events kind of focus your mind on the like very practical like okay. How do we solve the problem? How do we escape? Let's solve like survival, food, shelter, focus. Remember that book, also quiet on the Western front, where we're one.

There's this line in there, I forget what it is about how war is like the smell of a skunk. Like a little bit is actually a little bit, is slightly, there's something slightly delicious of it is what it says in the book. I happen to like the smell of like ferrets and skunks and things. I had a pet ferret when I was a kid

and I like that musky scent. People, most people, just it's repulsive to them. It's actually a gene, believe it or not. Some people have the gene that makes that the musky scent repulsive. Some people love it. Let me ask you this. There's another gene.

This is a fun one. Microwave popcorn smells good, neutral, or disgusting to you. There are people who have a gene that leads them to the perception that the smell of microwave popcorn that you find is good, it smells like putrid vomit to them. It's a particular gene variant, and they can smell certain elements within the microwave popcorn. It's pretty prominent in France, this gene. And so in laboratories where you have a lot of French people that it's often said like you're not allowed

to make microwave popcorn, it smells putrid, disgusting. So a lot of it's in the perception of the beholder, right? But okay, before I leave the NSTR, focus in general. As he said, it's for shifting mind states. Is there advice you have for how to achieve focus on a task? Yes. First of all, we have to distinguish between modulators and mediators, and I'll do this very briefly. There are a lot of things that will modulate your state of all, we have to distinguish between modulators and mediators. And I'll do this very briefly.

There are a lot of things that will modulate your state of focus, but they don't directly mediate your sense of focus. So for instance, if right now a fire alarm went off in this building, it would modulate our attention. We would get up and leave. It would be very hard to do what we're doing with that banging in the background, at least at first. So it's modulating focus, but it's not really

involved in the mechanisms of focus, right? In the same way, being well-rested when you sleep, your autonomic nervous system that adjusts states of alertness and focus and calm works better than when you're sleep deprived. So if you're sleeping better, you're gonna focus better. So I always answer this way to a question like this, because the best thing that anyone can do

for their mental health, physical health, and performance in athletic or cognitive endeavors, or creative endeavors is to make sure that you're getting enough quality sleep enough of the time for you. And that's gonna differ. We could talk about what that means. Now, in terms of things that mediate focus

without getting into the description of mechanisms, because we have podcasts about that, it's very clear that mental focus follows visual focus, provided that you're a sighted person. Much of the training that's being done now in China to teach kids to focus better, literally has them stare at a target, blinking every so often, but really training themselves to breathe calmly and maintain a tight visual aperture.

When you read, you have to maintain a tight visual aperture. You're literally scrolling like a highlighter in your mind's eye. It's kind of obvious once you hear it. So for people that have problems focusing sleep well, learn to dilate and contract your visual field consciously. This can be done, if you practice it a little bit. And then, as I said before, it is very hard to get into a state of focus like a step function, immediately like snapping your fingers. What you can do is you can pick any object, but ideally an object at roughly the same distance, placed it roughly the same distance to which you're going to do that work, and stare at it, you're allowed to blink. And as your mind starts to drift

every once in a while to understand that's normal, but try narrow your visual aperture and bring that into your visual field so that that's the most prominent thing, kind of like portrait mode in your phone. This would look very different and portrait mode than it would in just a standard photograph mode. And then after doing that for 30 to 60 seconds, moving into the work that you're about to do and really encourage yourself to do that. If you're somebody who's low vision or no vision,

you're gonna use your ears to do this. Braille readers have trouble focusing sometimes because they feel other stuff and they hear other stuff. So you learn to adjust that aperture consciously. And then of course the pharmacologic tools, just enough caffeine, but not too much, right? We've talked about white noise, brown noise, music, or no music, really varies, but

it's very clear that binaural beats of 40 hertz can shift the brain into a heightened state of focus and cognition. So if you're going to use binaural beats, which should definitely be used with headphones, and there are number of free apps out there in sources. 40 Hertz seems to be the frequency that best supports the brain shifting into a particular. Can you give us some binaural beats? Yeah, so you're gonna look for a beat

if you'd wanna find an app that offers 40 Hertz. I think brainwave allows you to slide bar up to the particular frequency that you want. And I should say that there are other frequencies that are interesting, but 40 Hertz, Bynorol Beat seems to be the one that there's the most quality research on. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's like a beat.

Yeah. Yeah. But you're saying there's a lot of mixed science on the, on the, yeah, white noise and brown noise. You really should be doing this with headphones because binaural beads are best accomplished by feeding two different frequencies to the two ears. And then you have what's called the brainstem area that reads out what are called interoral time differences.

And then it extracts the, the, the delta, essentially. Turn it up. And then in other things that can enhance focus. So, the pharmacology around this is pretty interesting. Things that tickle the dopamine pathway and the acetylcholine pathway, they work. There's your riddle in your aderol, your modaphinals, which are prescription, and there's a lot of non-prescription use

of those prescription drugs. Not so much in my generation, but in people 35 and younger, you know, I hear all the time from day traders and programmers and stuff and kids that play video games, a lot of riddle and add-or-all use. I think that unless it's prescribed by a doctor for a specific purpose of ADHD, I don't think people should go that route, frankly. Hits the dopamine system way too hard. Also has a number of negative effects on sexual side effects, all sorts of things that you just wouldn't want.

There are a few compounds like alpha GPC, 300 milligrams to 600 milligrams of alpha GPC with a cup of espresso. If you're well-rested, you're like a laser for 90 minutes, maybe two hours, but then it's gonna taper off and you have to just recognize that. And then there's this whole world of neutropics now, and people trying to figure out that

rassetams, prassetams, and phenolethylaming combined with this, and you know, it's not quite in the place where you'd like it to be. There are a few companies that are doing this better than others. We talk about some of these on the podcast, but I would always start with behavioral tools and then consider pharmacology. Then I suppose the other thing for focus is, this is a little more esoteric, but we cover this in an episode on workplace optimization, where you place your screen is important. Staring down at a screen is not going to be as effective as placing it at eye level or above you. When the eyes are up, literally your eyes are directed forward or up.

The brainstem centers for alertness are activated. When your eyes are down, it's like being pulled under water a little bit in the autonomic or aulsal sense. You're closing your eyes. It reflects the brainstem centers that are active becoming less, or for alertness, excuse me, becoming less active. But there's a really cool effect that's active in this room right now,

which is that there've been some really interesting studies that when people work in small compact spaces or wear a hoodie or a hat, that can also improve focus like blinders on a horse for obvious reasons now, based on what I said before but also Analytic work or the kind of work where there's a correct answer that you're seeking is best supported by these kind of low ceiling environments Whereas there's something called the cathedral effect

Which is when you work in an outdoor environment or a high ceiling environment it lends itself to kind of Pun intended kind of lofty or ideas, and more creativity. And that probably has to do with the fact that there's a natural tendency, a reflex to expand your visual field in these high-sealing environments. Expansion of the visual field changes the way the brain works in the time domain. You're engineering and biology-oriented listeners will understand this and music. For those that don't, the best way to think about it is when you have a narrow focus, portrait mode on your phone or your very alert, you are fine slicing life in time.

It's like a think of it as a high-frame rate, like you're shooting in slow motion. When you have a, when you dilate your, your view, you're taking bigger time bins. And the one way to just let this, hopefully, land home is that if you've ever had a really exciting day or podcast interview or experience of any kind, your system is flooded with dopamine and nor epinephrine, alertness and motivation,

all this excitement. It seems like it goes by very, very fast. And yet when you think back to that, it seems like a lot happened. This happened and that happened. Now think about waiting in the doctor's office in a blank waiting room with no interesting art on the walls. It feels like it goes by very, very slow,

dopamine to neuro epinephrine and all time low. And yet when you think back on that experience, it's as if nothing happened because you were you were parsing time differently. So those are the roughly the tools and the and the neurochemicals around time perception and the time domain. There's a wonderful book I'm forgetting the title. So wonderful, I forget the title by Dean Boudomano from UCLA. But I think it's called the brain is a time machine that talks about this expansion and contraction of the time domain

And what you can do is to leverage it for work and creativity focus and so on Yeah, it's fascinating that I think one way to define focus for me is The experience the feeling of focus is losing track of time is getting to a place where you're no longer Operating in time. Well, and you mentioned being cramming for something, well, you'll release a lot of adrenaline. And it is true you can get a lot done under pressure because of the way that you're slicing time. You don't actually have more time.

It's that you're finally in a brain state that lends itself well to parsing information really quickly. Now, if we ramp up your level of stress enough, it's definitely, you know, it's a more less normal distribution. We get you stressed enough. It's hard to remember anything you're not parsing time well, but in that middle range, almost every study shows that the higher levels of autonomic arousal, meaning, you're up

an effort in adrenaline in your system, the more effective you are at things. And we always hear stress in adrenaline. It's just bad, bad, bad. But my colleague, Ali Kromet, Stanford, has done these beautiful studies where if you just educate people on how adrenaline makes them sharper thinkers, they become sharper thinkers. If you educate them on the fact that stress makes your cognition worse, their cognition gets worse. This is why I don't wear a sleep tracker. If you tell people they slept poorly, your recovery score sucks, they naturally perform less well the next

day than if you tell them your recovery score is high. And so I don't have anything against those companies, but in fact, we use some of their technology. It can be very useful in certain contexts, but you want to determine your mindset around these things. And if you tell yourself, hey, deadlines make me sharp, pressure makes me sharp, you will perform better. So stress and anxiety. What is that and can it be leveraged for good? Absolutely.

Stress and then look, whether or not you get into a cold ice bath or a hot sauna so hot you want to get out or you get hit square in the face with something over text that you really didn't want to hear or see, it's adrenaline. It's just adrenaline. And so your subjective readout of that and what it means is really important. And you can just channel that. Well you can. If you agree with the following statement,

which I do, and many people do, because the data support it, which is Ali Krum statement, not mine, which is, she directs the mind body lab at Stanford. She's brilliant, by the way, brilliant Harvard trained Yale trained, trained licensed clinical psychologist, also tenure professor at Stanford.

She's a Olympian, excuse me, a division one athlete in gymnastics and martial arts and her dad is a long time martial arts trainer has done work with special forces and he's an amazing human being and very humble, very kind, lovely woman and professor, scientist. She says anything that you do and experience, but especially stress is the consequence of that thing and what you believe about that thing. And so if you consume a lot of information about the powers of stressful states to bring

out your best, you will perform better. If you consume a lot of information about the power of stress to cripple you, you will perform worse. There's absolutely no question. The data are striking. And this is not growth mindset. This is just simply what sort of, what do you believe about stress based on the dominant knowledge that you're consuming about it?

So that's why it's fun to watch David Goggins. Here we go again, David or Jocco or Joe or someone or Cam Haynes, you know, put out this information about, or Ryan Hall who ran for Stanford and then now is like into the powerlifting thing and running. You know, and there are others too, of course, when you start to consume a lot of that information, it's not just inspiring, it actually changes your perception of what your own stressful states mean. They, you can actually get better from stress

if you're in the ocean of knowledge that stress grows you. If you're in the ocean of living in the ocean of knowledge, I was thinking like a pool in the summer, you got the kitty pool, the kids all peeing in it, presumably, you got the diving thing, you got the high diving, all that. If you believe that the experience of belly flopping off the high dive is gonna make you a better diver,

in some sense, it at least in this analogy, it will. Whereas if you feel that it's just the most embarrassing thing ever, and it's going to cripple your ability to get out in the dive in front of anybody ever again, well, you're you're right about that too. Yeah, we actually talk with Carl about depression, all those kinds of things that there could be these, what are commonly seen as negative journeys, they could be when reframed can be used. You know, one of the reasons I enjoy our friendship so much is that you bring this Russian thing, you know, which I don't really understand it at a deep level.

How could I? I'm not Russian, but this mindset like that there's pain in life. When I watched that hedgehog in the fog cartoon, I thought no wonder Russians were the way they do. This is the most, it's so sad, it's beautiful and sad, it's so sad. Whereas out here it's like Sesame Street and my mother would not let me watch Sesame Street when I was a kid. She thought it was too chaotic.

Too chaotic. Too chaotic. She was like, it's too chaotic. To me, these go nuts. Captain Kangaroo, we were allowed, and then Mr. Rogers, we were allowed. I never really liked shows. I like doing things outside in the yard. I was trying to trap all the animals. I didn't want to watch stuff on TV. But, you know, hedgehog in the fog is enough to turn any kid into a thinker and a philosopher and a poet.

Here we go. I fell in love with this when you showed, look at even walks with its arms behind its back. So if people don't know and we're watching little clips here to get into and it's a Hedgehog that is wondering about in this fog at night and can't even see a lamp. The fog is so good. And there's a feeling of searching. And then there's a horse that speaks from a distance, words of wisdom. Some people actually told me that they believe that's God. That's supposed to represent God. I always thought it was a motherly voice or a voice, a voice of conformity that wants

you to return to safety. And here's the hedgehog is searching for something that's in him for the unknown, to the explorer, the unknown, and ultimately as it, as the cartoon on roles, it's, he discovers a friend in a bear, and he also discovers a lifetime passion for looking up at the stars, and the curiosity of exploring what is up there. And I see that as science is exploring the mystery. And also I see that as brave to explore the mystery, given all the uncertainty all around you. But there is a melancholy, the whole sound of it, the feel of it, the look of it.

It was, it just captures both the melancholy and the wander of childhood, which is like, there's a loneliness to it. Like nobody understands me. That's there that children can feel because you're trying to figure out just my favorite character right there. I love the owl. I love the owl.

Yow shows up every once in a while. I love the owl. Sorry, I interrupt you. Again. There's non-sec winter It means you're interested 70% of the time The other 30% you're just an asshole So you have to figure out which so I'm told the not there's non-secular parts in this cartoon It's it's vote is one of the greatest cartoons of all time short short little films documentary filmmakers

so it is you know in in the Soviet Union, in a lot of sort of authoritarian regimes, there's channels to communicate difficult ideas to people, and you figure out those channels. And in the Soviet Union, one of those channels was children's cartoons. So we're actually there very much for adults. Yeah. I like that in some

countries, not so much in the US, children are treated with more respect for their intelligence, and not constantly getting this dribble of just kind of moronic explosions and whistles and bells and the voices that just kind of, you know, children obviously are children and need to be their brains are young and plastic and need to be treated and nurtured as such, but they have an intelligence and I think that you treat them like morons and they're going to behave like morons. You treat them as, you know, people who can consume information and make sense of it in their own way. And that's what they're going to do. They have a seriousness of looking at the world. I love people that talk with children

like their adults. Well, this is like, here's if you're talking to a mini Einstein, because you're like really, they're asking some big questions. And I think, I mean, people sometimes speak of me in this way like, how dumb is this childlike person? But like, no, there's intelligence in these dumb simple questions. In like that a child asks. And I always love those questions, the simplicity,

but also the depth of those those questions. The reason I started watching your podcast was you did an episode early on with Ray Dalio. And the first, maybe the first, but a question that you definitely asked him was you just said, what is money? And his answer was fantastic. It's a superb question and he gave a superb answer. And I never would have thought to ask that question. And it's the question. And it was the question to T things off with. So simple questions that get right to the heart of the matter.

And kids aren't often putting the same cultural filters and you know, they're not, kids generally aren't concerned about getting canceled either. So they'll ask the question that no one else is willing to ask. And they're not concerned about how dumb the question sounds. I find the most fascinating questions and just really simple. And it is a bit embarrassing to ask those simple questions of what is, well, anything.

You're asking them for all of us, so please ask them. I think that question, what is money is crucial. And I think the simple questions are the most, obviously, the most interesting. I can ask you about, you had awesome podcasts. I mean, I can ask you questions about basically all your podcasts. People should definitely listen to you, people in the lab, but with Andy Gap in the conversation, you talked about strength and muscle building on the kind of stuff. He's an encyclopedia. Yeah. And he also works with a lot of UFC fighters and he works with, he has a lab that includes a gym. And so he works on endurance and powerlifting and also hypertrophy training,

et cetera, but he also does muscle biopsy. So he runs the full spectrum and he's a full tenured professor and he does all this stuff. So he's a really unique person in this whole fitness landscape because there are a lot of PT's out there. There are a lot of kinesiologists. There are a lot of people studying nutrition and sports training. But I think he has the among the people out there. He's at least in the top five, probably within the top three, of people that really have

their arms around the full extent of what's possible with training. And he works with the UFC Performance Center. I mean, he just said a very systematic way of describing things. Those really nice, you know, um, skill speed, power strength, uh, hypertrophy, so muscle mass, right, endurance, all kinds of, and then the philosophical of like adaptation, how to overload stuff, all that very, is there stuff? I'll ask you about ice bath andona, which was surprising to me there. Is there stuff you took away from that conversation,

like principles about how to get strong, how to build muscle mass, that like broad and deepened your understanding of that task? It definitely, and I'll do these in bullet points because if people want the logic behind them and the mechanism, they can listen to that episode. It's a really good episode.

I'll start with heat and cold really quickly and just say that avoid cold immersion. So ice baths and being in cold water up to the neck uncomfortably cold within the four hours after a training session that's designed to evoke an adaptation, either endurance, hypertrophy, or strength, because the inflammation that you experience from a hard endurance workout

or from a hard strength or hypertrophy workout is the stimulus that you're going to adapt to. The cold water immersion reduces inflammation and can short-circuit some of that. After four hours, you're probably okay, but if you can do it a different day or you can do it before those sessions, that's better. Heat, however, can be done immediately after training and it's probably beneficial because of the way that it dilates the vascular system and delivers, profuses the muscles and ligaments, et cetera, with more nutrients. And I should just mention that was a crucial piece of information. It's a little bit surprising. Was it surprising to you?

Absolutely. I actually, the way I posed the question to him about cold was, I hear that getting into an ice bath or a cold water immersion after training can reduce hypertrophy, but I'm guessing it's not that big of a deal. And he said, no, it is a big deal. It will short circuit your progress. Now for people that are only interested in performance who are doing a lot of workouts and trying to recover, but not trying to grow muscle, get stronger, or build endurance, then it makes sense to do cold,

because you skill development. Skill development, or you're an athlete in season. You know, so you have to, what's so great about Andy is he really points out the specific ways to train given your specific goal. So if we're getting swole, stay out of the ice bath after we work out. There you go.

Like always, making fun of the meatheads. I love it. I put myself in the meathead category only because I don't do a real sport. Now I work out and I run, which is what I'm in the spiring meat head. Okay. So one of these days, I'm going to get back to jujutsu or I'm going to get two jujutsu. Now, in terms of training, he has this beautiful three by five concept for strength. Pick three exercises, compound exercises, multi-joint movements. Do them for, do three to five exercises, for three to five repetitions per set, rest three to five minutes, and do that three to five

times per week. And for details, you can again look to the episode, it's timestamped. But what's interesting about this is three to five times a week is a lot for muscle groups squatting through five times a week for five reps, meaning you're working pretty heavy, meaning you're close to failure, but not failure for strength generally. What Andy taught me is that people who are training mostly for strength can do these low-rep type regimens frequently because most of the adaptation is neural and because you're not pushing to failure in most cases, you don't get that sore. And so it's the motor neurons getting the muscle fibers to contract more intensely or with more efficiency in other ways that's leading to these strength gains.

And this is why power lifters can train every day or five days a week or four days a week. For hypertrophy, I learned from Andy that the repetition range can be pretty broad. You're anywhere from six to 30 repetitions. You should do 10 sets per muscle group per week, maybe even a bit more. So high volume. High volume, but you have to go to failure or beyond in order to stimulate growth.

Why does it work at such a great range of repetitions? Well, there apparently are three ways that you stimulate hypertrophy and maybe more. One is tissue, micro damage to the tissue. The other is through some sort of tension-based changes in the molecular gene programs of cells that lead to protein synthesis that are distinct from damage. The other are metabolic effects of high repetition work of super fusion of the muscle with blood. We know that third category exists because people are now doing this blood restriction training where they cuff off a muscle and they'll use a really light weight. I've done these before. You can use a five pound weight and do curls with this

and you're you are in pain and the muscles are swelling up with blood. It does lead to hypertrophy, but in general you're not sore, you're not doing tissue damage. And by the way, don't just turn to get it off a muscle because you have to use the proper cuffs because you need the blood still to flow in one direction. You can't just cinch it off or you'll potentially kill yourself if you get a clot or you do it wrong. So get the appropriate cuffs. They're out there. And then for endurance, I learned something really cool. So I work out basically, I go to the gym every other day on average, I three or four days a week, I do that, but generally not two days in a row. It's workout. Next day, I'll do cardio, next day.

And the cardio for me is always a 30 to 45 minute jog, kind of zone two cardio. Andy informed me that to build endurance while building strength and maintaining some muscle size, or even building muscle size, I would be wise to take one day a week and add to that all out max heart rate work for 90 seconds at least. So do 90 seconds than rest and then maybe do another 90 second all out sprint I almost missed my flight going from Los Angeles to Austin. I did that all out sprint in the airport yesterday So I actually think it's done for me. So there was a sprinting Dr. Huber and throughout

Because I travel a generally I I'll travel with too much stuff. I love how you were probably running late for play and used that as an opportunity to explain. Well, as I was doing it, I was thinking to myself, okay, Andy, that's a 90 second sprint because I got to the security line. I finally got TSE 3. But that's for better, that's for extending endurance.

That's for, yeah, it actually has some carryover effects on endurance, if you're doing the other stuff And then he also said one day a week to do this workout and haven't done it yet. Maybe we do it tomorrow It'll be fun, which is you run a mile You ask yourself how long did that take let's say it took eight minutes Then you walk or rest for eight minutes then you run another mile as fast as you can and then you rest for the equivalent period And you do that one to three times once per week. So you do. And so as an all around fitness program, it make you could collapse this into something where you say, okay, you're going to work out with the weights for about an hour every other day, maybe take two days off every once well, maybe not you're going to do six to 15 repetitions, you're going to push the failure on some of those, not all, because

some of those are designed to build more strength. You're not going to failure and heavier. Some are designed for hypertrophy, higher rep, and going to failure. And then on off days, you're going to jog for 30 to 45 minutes. But for two days a week, you're either at the end of your jog or whatever, you're going to do some-out sprints it for 90 seconds and then rest and repeat. And for another day, you're going to do these myel repeats. That's a pretty large chunk of exercise movement, but if you kind of thread through the middle of all that, what you end up with is some decent strength

building protocols, some decent hypertrophy, some cardiovascular training that establishes the so-called A-base or a so-called base. So you're not gonna get really good at anything, you're not gonna become a marathon or this way, an optimizing marathon, you're not gonna optimize powerlifting, you're not gonna optimize hypertrophy, but for the typical person,

75% of people, 75% of the time, they want some muscle, they want some strength, they want some endurance, and they want the capacity of sprint to the security gate without leaving a lung in the terminal. So it's like functional stuff like your life going up the stairs, it's easier, moving about, look, I just right go left. And I should mention that cold showers after training don't seem to short circuit the training don't seem to short circuit the training effect to the same extent that immersion in cold water does. And that really speaks to the fact that cold

showers, even though they can provide some of the adrenaline for the mental effects of like, oh, I have a lot of adrenaline. My system from a cold shower and I can remain calm. That's there's utility to that. It's not going to have the same metabolic effects or other positive effects that cold water exposure has been shown to have. And that's or other positive effects that cold water exposure has been shown to have. And that's unfortunate because most people have access to cold showers, not everyone has access to a cold dunker and ice dunk. But here in Austin, you have this place, and no, they don't pay me to say this, but I

always like going to this place whenever I'm telling this place, koo-ya, and they've got a sauna and a couple ice baths. And they even have those salt tanks that you can float on the surface. If ice baths, they have cold water immersion. It's pretty cold. Still having no ice bath. Really? Yeah, I need to.

You're Russian, you'll probably get in and they won't even. And what is this? What's the big deal here? Or people pay for this? I did a post right of you as a baby. Yeah, it's in a, you know, I had to go deep to get that photo of Lex

in a bassinet, in the snow. Yeah. Because in Russia, you know, I had to go deep to get that photo of Lex in a bassinet in the snow. Because in Russia, they actually did this for a long time. They thought that it, and indeed it does build the immune system to expose babies to the cold. I don't, I still don't know where you got that photo. And then you were able to find exactly the right. It was, it was great. It's great.

You didn't have a tie on, but you had all the look and seriousness that you do now. So it's clearly nature, clearly you were born with that. What about sauna? He does say that it's good to do heat. So there are three ways you can do sauna that I can just toss out as like brief things. If you want to get a really big growth hormone release for sake of metabolism, fat loss, you're training really, really hard in Jiu-Jitsu and you want to recover. You don't want to sauna too often because the study that identified this massive 16-fold increase in growth hormone, they had people do this.

It's crazy. They got into, okay, temperatures are 80 to 100 degrees centigrade. So, that's 176 degrees Fahrenheit to 212 degrees Fahrenheit. For five to 30 minutes is the typical ranges that people work in in these research studies. For maximum growth hormone release, don't do sauna more than once a week, but get into the sauna for 30 minutes as hot as you can safely tolerate. So probably for you, that'll be 210 because you're a suspect you'll be on the high end of things. Then get out for 5 to 10 minutes, no cold exposure, get back in the sauna for 30 minutes.

Then they had them do it again, out for five minutes, back for 30 minutes, out for five minutes, back for three minutes. They had them do two hours of sauna exposure to get that growth hormone release. Now for the reduction in likelihood of dying of a cardiovascular event stroke or otherwise, the more often you do sauna, the better. So if you look at all cause mortality or death due to cardiovascular events, and you look at sauna-use frequencies using the same parameters, 80-100-degree centigrade, one to seven times per week, basically the more often you get into the sauna for 30 minutes across the week,

so 30 minutes a day is better than four times a week. Four times a week is better than two times a week. And two times a week is better than one. And the reductions in mortality are really impressive. 27, if you get into the sauna the way I just described, not the two hours a day, but 30 minutes twice a week or three times per week, you reduce the likelihood of dying of a cardiovascular event by 27%. If you do it four or more times per week, you reduce the probability of dying by 50%

of a cardiovascular event. And in these studies, they rule out other things that people are doing, smoking, they even ask them, do you live in an apartment, are you in a happy relationship, like they evaluate other potentially confounding variables. Now, for people that don't have access to a sauna, a hot water bath or hot tub is gonna be your next best bet. And if you don't have access to that,

do like the wrestlers do, which is, you know, put on two sets of sweats and a hoodie and a stocking cap and wrap yourself in plastics underneath all that and go for a run, but don't please, nobody die of hypothermia. I mean, you can die of warming up too much. Is this experience pleasant or stressful in the way? So is it as stressful as an ice bath? Okay, great question. People always ask how cold to make the ice bath or the cold water or the shower. You want it to be uncomfortably cold, meaning you want to feel like I really want to get out, but you can safely stay in. And that's going

to vary by person and experience with experience. Yeah. With the sauna, it's the same thing. How hot to make it. Well, don't kill yourself. Obviously, be smart. If you're pregnant, you shouldn't be doing this anyway. But it's very clear that what you need is the release of something called dynorphin. We have endorphin, which makes us feel good. It binds to these muopiod receptors in the body. You have dynorphin, which is the terrible feeling that you get when you're in really hot temperatures. It's also the terrible effect that alcoholics feel when they are in withdrawal. You feel agitated, you wanna get out,

it's really unpleasant. It's dinorphine binding to the so-called Kappa opioid receptor. That's what you're trying to trigger. When you do that, a number of things happen. You set off heat shock proteins that go repair broken proteins and misfolded proteins. It also makes it so that later,

endorphine binds its receptor more strongly. So when you have this uncomfortable experience in the heat, you literally feel better in real life when pleasure will events come on when they experience them. In the same way I like to say this, that when you get into a cold ice bath or cold shower, the increase in epinephrine and dopamine is two to 300%.

These are huge increases and they last many hours. This is shown because lately I've gained a little bit pushback on Twitter that which is you know, um, interesting place. Um People say, well, that's just in mice. No, all the studies I just refer to are all done in humans. Men and women fairly broad age ranges. So you want to be uncomfortable in the cold, you want to be uncomfortable in the heat. And this is why I'm not a big fan of infrared sauna's because they only go up to about 160, 170 degrees. And far red light of all kinds has been shown to be beneficial for wound healing, acne, skin, eyes. They're even guys not putting on their testicles because it can increase

testosterone and sperm production. Yeah, hormone release, hormone release. But in terms of the sauna, you want that strong heat stimulus. Yeah. And that's when you crawl up to the 200-month-old. Right, and so on. Whenever I'm in New York, and there's also one in San Francisco, though the one in San Francisco is clothing optional, just to warn people, there's a place called Archimedes Banya. Is there any scientific evidence that being naked is beneficial in the sauna? Well, in certain contexts, it leads to childbirth.

Okay. I'll read up on that. I read that somewhere. But I suppose it's not required for childbirth. But in all seriousness, in New York, I'll go to a place called Spa 88 and actually Kabib's picture is on the wall. He goes there.

And it's a, that one, it's clothing, it, they require clothing. I only just say that because it can be a little bit of a shock to people sometimes if they kind of walk in there, a bunch of naked people, the one in San Francisco. If I go on clothes, mostly because, you know, I run into coworkers or things like that, you know, I, I sort of were a old fashioned in that way, I suppose. But um, do you like to wear clothes around quote work is yes. Yeah, and general. Yeah, I mean, it's just to me, it just seems like, you know, that just be aware, but but nonetheless, the bonnets have very hot

sonas because they're Russian owned. And in New York, there's one on the Lower East side, but the spy 88 place, they have some sonnas that the moment I get into those, I have a hard time catching a full breath. It burns. They've got a cold dunk that's like a shock. And then they've got a sauna, a wet sauna steam room that's a little mellower. So the nice thing about a bonia is you can kind of find your

place and then they do the plots out where they take the eucalyptus leaves and you can pay someone and you basically you cover your groin and then they beat you with the leaves and it's supposed to bring the vasculature to the surface. I've only done it once and frankly I found it to be a little bit unnerving. I didn't really like the experience but I'll try and get into a sauna as often as I possibly can which is you know once or three times per week and I try and do the cold exposure shower or immersion but early in the day because it really

wakes you up. One of my favorite things I've listened to, I wish there was a video, is listening to a bunch of stuff with Rick Rubin and he did a thing with Tim Ferris, like Tim Ferris podcast. I don't know if you've ever heard it, but he forced them to do, they did the podcast in Asana. And I don't think at the time, Tim Ferriss was adapted. Yeah, if you're not heat adapted,

it can be pretty stressful. And I mean, obviously the whole experience of stressful as somebody with microphones, like what is happening? But I just love that Tim was vulnerable enough to kind of give themself over to whatever the hell this experience is. And I am just so happy that Rick won't like push that kind of idea. And just let's do it.

That's a very Rick Rubin kind of thing to do. And we must not, like we must do this. This has to be done. A podcast that was done from Asana continuously would be really interesting. Like you could call it like the pressure cooker or something. All I mean like a regular podcast. This has to be done. A podcast that was done from Asana continuously would be really interesting. You could call it the pressure cooker or something. Oh, I mean, like a regular podcast. Yeah, you have to sit with your guests in the sauna or they have to sit in the sauna with

you. Well, those are one of the interesting things. It was a sad thing because I believe there's no video of that podcast, but you could tell there was a kind of, there was suffering on this patient's part. It was like a degradation. He started over time not being able to put words together correctly, which he's very eloquent. And so you could see there's like,

there's a struggle. He didn't pull you down from the inside. You have to, I mean, there's a reason why the screening process for, make, you know, sealed, they call it seal training, but it's really screening and training involves cold waters, because you know, if you're in the heat too long, you'll die or damage tissue. In cold, you can do it quite extensively

before you die or damage tissue, but it is stressful. I was gonna say one thing that I sometimes enjoy seeing these social media posts where people get into the ice bath and they look really stoic, like they're really tough, but actually that's the wimpy way to go through it. We, and you get into cold water, if you stay very still, you develop a thermal sheath around you that you're warming yourself. The really bold way is to get in and continue to sift your arms and legs, and it ends up

feeling miserably colder. And that's no sheath. Because you're breaking up and they're breaking up. That's almost that thermal layer. And then when you get out, you'll notice a lot of people will huddle or they'll put, or they'll grab the towel. In general, that's me. I'll get back, I'll get into the sauna.

But if you really want to stimulate the big increases in metabolism, you stand out there and you dry off with arms extended in open air. And as that water evaporates off you, it is really cold. But your body is forced to activate a number of the warming programs related to metabolism. This is the beautiful work of a woman named Susanna Soberg, who's skin and avian. She published this paper last year in cell reports medicine. And so I call this the So sober principle, which is if you're doing ice and heat for whatever reason, it doesn't matter if you end on heater cold. But if you're using cold specifically to stimulate and increase in metabolism, end with cold. That's the sober principle.

And with cold, yeah, if you're alternating, and then if you want to do the tough way, you let the shivering, so you just stand out and let the water evaporate. Yeah, I mean, if you ever waded into a cold ocean, you know, everybody's kind of like holding themselves in, you know, if you really just, if you let yourself extend your limbs and move them around a bit, so you break up that thermal layer, that's, that's the tough way to do it.

So when I see people on social media getting in and they're like, really tough and trying to look hard, you want to be moving around. Yeah, smiling, talking, moving around is way, way colder. Yeah. Are you able to talk? Can you do it?

So you suggest the podcast in the sauna. How about this? I proposed this since I got to do the next podcast. I'll get to, so the folks from the plunge maybe could bring Alexa a plunge. He certainly deserves one and we can go side-by-side coffin style or we can face one another What we said we should do each other's podcast and maybe next I can't wait to have you back on I mean we only scratch the surface Well, let's do at least part of the next human lab podcast either in I have a sauna anacode plunge so we could do yeah

We could do in we do a sauna an a cold plunge so we could do it. Yeah, we could do. We do a sauna and a cold plunge version. I wonder how the recording works. If they record an echo in the sauna, I'm sure we can take out the reverb. So Serge wants to ask you about sex performance. Very journalistic, very hardcore, hinting questions that we have here in the gym. Generally or a specific.

No, he has a certain problem, he needs help with no. Generally, you haven't done an episode on sex. Well, we did an episode early on on sexual development. Yes. We've done them on optimizing testosterone and estrogen, and we touched a little bit on the on libido and somewhat on sex performance, but not much. We did an episode on relationships, love and desire, where we touched on libido specifically. So just as a quick mention of something,

a lot of people take SSRIs or antidepressants that can disrupt sexual function, there are a few compounds like macarute and ponga Ali and things like that, that at least in a few studies in humans have been shown to offset some of the sexual side effects. Now in terms of sexual, and then the, sorry, the episode on sexual development

was about how the brain and body become organized in certain ways, how the brain becomes organized if you have X chromosomes or Y chromosomes or et cetera. So early development. Early development mainly. And the effects of hormones later on that template. We will be doing a I'm actually putting together a series on sexual health everything from The menstrual cycle which both men and women should understand of course

Understanding arousal Understanding for instance a lot of people don't realize this but that orgasm is actually the consequence of activity in the sympathetic, meaning the stress arm of the autonomic nervous system, whereas a rousal is the consequence of the activity of the parasympathetic, the calming aspect of the of the auto-neural. As counterintuitive, right? It's counterintuitive, and it kind of works like a seesaw.

I mean, there's a rousal, then there's relaxation, then there's a rousal. But then immediately after orgasm and in males' ejaculation, what ends up happening is there's a rebounding of the parasympathetic nervous system, which it leads to oftentimes people feeling very relaxed or falling asleep. So I'm going to do a short series on sexual health that will be, that will include stuff about sexual performance, but also some I'm working on getting an expert guest who can talk about some of the neurologic changes that happen as a consequence of sexual activity and we did an episode with a guy from UT Austin here, David Bus, who's a evolutionary psychologist, talking about, it went pretty deep into some of the typical and unusual dynamics

of mating relation, whether or not people have kids or not, and what impacts that. But we're going to do an episode on menopause, andropause. What's very surprising is I get a lot of questions about sexual health from the young male audience, which tells me that, well, here's what I think it reflects. I think that women because of their menstrual cycles, early on, start to talk to one another about changes in physiology and psychology as a function of this 28-day cycle

that they all experience sooner or later. Males, there's less of a conversation, and usually arrives in code, people will say, hey, what should I take to increase my testosterone? And I'll say, well, maybe nothing, you know, what are you specifically concerned about? And then over time, if you pull on those threads a little bit, you know, you get your answer. Sometimes I'll just get a direct question. But I think that the psychology of all this and in terms of jealousy and the terms of notions of roles and relationships is very dynamic right now and I'm fascinated by this. So we're going to do

a four episode series. What about sexual fantasy? What to get Freudian for a second? What role does sexual fantasy have in the human condition? There's a book called the erotic imagination. in the human condition. There's a book called the erotic imagination. It's a very psychoanalytic book written by a psychoanalyst that talks about how well here's the uncomfortable reality. Freud was at least right about one thing which is that the brain circuitry that you used to develop attachments to your caregivers, mother and father or other caregivers, do not disappear when you hit puberty. They are repurposed for romantic and sexual relations. And so this is why the whole notion of anxious attached and secure attached, you know, stems

from childhood attachment patterns, but it carries over to romantic relationships. So that the relationship with your mother has and father and father has a and probably other close people to you and your young age has a secondary tertiary, some kind of ripple effect on hydro-sexuality developed, like what fantasies you might have. Oh, without question. And of course, early experiences to and traumatic or positive or neutral. The thing that's really important to remember, though, in this transfer of circuitry from one role to another is that, and it's certainly consistent with psychoanalysis, that gender is interchangeable, sex is interchangeable. So, for instance, let's say you had a wonderful

relationship, let's say this, let's take a hypothetical person, okay. I'm truly not referring to myself. Let's take a young woman who has a wonderful relationship to her father and a just absolutely terrible abusive relationship to her mother, just for sake of example. She then goes into adulthood and she is drawn to very abusive men, not always, but let's just use in this example.

And the dynamic is exactly the same as the dynamic she had with her mother. That's actually a common occurrence. Even though in this context, she's heterosexual, she's a romantically attracted to men. What is seen over and over again is that the dynamic with one parent can be transferred onto a romantic dynamic, but it doesn't have to be, you know, that if it was with the mother, then it only has to do with relationships to women. So gender is interchangeable because these circuitries are pre-sexual. They're laid down in our brain before the brain has any concept of sexual interactions. It's pre-verdol, excuse me. And so there are a lot of interesting examples in data to support this. The book attached is a pretty interesting book by two psychologists, one I think is at Columbia

University, that talks about how childhood dynamics carry over to adult romantic attachment. So as you can tell, I get pretty alert in response to these questions because I get a lot of them relate in this domain. And they have a lot of impact on people and they're wondering about they want to learn. And no one knows what other people are doing or what's normal. We kind of know deviancy. We know perversion. We know the extremes.

We know the rules. Hopefully people know the rules. But you know, let's just be, there are a lot of people in the academic community, in particular, at certain East Coast schools, not to be named, that are in open relationships. This is more common now. It's not very common, but it's more common. And obviously that's a way of bypassing some of these more primitive emotions about jealousy, et cetera,

and leveraging them towards maybe even ongoing relationships. I'm not passing judgment one way or the other. I always say four conditions have to be met for any discussion about about sex and sexuality or sexual health age appropriate context appropriate consensual and species appropriate Well, that that's weird because the the thing I'm trying to figure out is why my sexual fantasy is to go to I'm trying to figure out is why my sexual fantasy is to go to furry orgies and have sex with others dress the squirrels and me the other animals. So that could be that I have to I'll see a therapist about that one. Can I ask you I'm not going to respond to that except to say that as long as those four conditions are met. Yeah, yeah, conceptual,

your previous appropriate, your previous, so there's a bunch of questions on Instagram. One of them on this topic on relationships, somebody suggested to do a part three of Y Lexus single, there's a running joke about this. So yeah, what, but I can answer it in part, right? Yeah, because it will partially because you're very busy partially because

You've decided that until it's time you're gonna Wait until it's time it's time, right until it's time you're waiting and then I mean I'm saving yourself for marriage But but in some sense Yeah, your your wife your future wife is out there. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's being programmed. No, I, I mean, I definitely, I definitely believe that. I mean, first of all, I, I just love people and I fall in love very easily with people, with objects, with things, with, with life, with every moment. And that way you're like Oliver Sacks, he fell, he would fall in love with minerals and concepts and things like that. And so, like to me, this kind of, so relationship is more like a commitment to one particular

kind of object of your love. Like, it's almost like a journey that you take on together because also the interesting thing about humans is there moment by moment a different person day by day, week by week, month by month, they change, they evolve. There's an ups and downs and stuff like that. So you're doing is you're saying, well, I'm going to explore all the way that this human gets morphed and changed and what makes them cry, what makes them excited, what makes them lonely, like the habits,

like when they form certain habits, what, how they feel when those habits are broken, like though the stupid minute things they make every day, life you're gonna be on that journey together, figuring that out, just the way we're trying to figure ourselves out when we're like optimizing these things about diet and health so on. You're kind of doing this computation together because neither person really understands themselves at all and you're together both confused about each other and you get to almost like a relationship as a chance to understand yourself and to understand another person like together that process is some kind of iterative.

You know the dynamics right I mean you're merging to nervous systems. This is once described to me very well by an ex-girlfriend who is truly brilliant. She's really brilliant. She said, you know, there's four arrows. This is maybe to an engineer or something like that. So make sense. There's how you feel towards the other person. There's how they feel towards you. But then there's an arrow that comes back to you,

which is how you feel about how they feel. And then they have an arrow of how they feel about how you feel, right? This is why if someone else is moody or somebody else is upset, there's one version of ourselves where we respond to that, or they respond to us. But there's another version where we respond to that, but it's also, there's a processing of what it means for us that they're behaving that way, or feeling that way.

And this, again, leads us back to that early attachment circuitry because of a parent was stressed. The child's role is not to soothe the parent. In fact, healthy models of parenting say that children shouldn't actually know how their parents feel for like the first eight years of their life. They're not supposed to be in that mindset of empathizing for the parent. This is often not the case. But maybe the cutoff isn't exactly eight, but you get the idea. So the dynamics of relationship are where the learning is

because we learn how we react to other people reacting. It's not just a two-arrow system. It's at least this four-arrow thing. But there's also the element of nurturing, right? I mean, I think that going through life with somebody is so much better than going through it alone. And I never thought I'd make that statement. So it wasn't always obvious to you? No, it wasn't always obvious to me. I mean, I've really enjoyed wonderful relationships. And some have been hard and there's certainly been a lot of growth. I'm on good terms with almost all my former girlfriends and close with some enough that

I know their spouses and I'm close with their families. But no, it wasn't. And I think that when people say relationship is hard, the only really hard part of a good relationship is just dealing with oneself and making sure that you're staying in that mode of caretaking because I do believe that if one is mainly focused on taking good care of the other person, provided they're also focused on taking good care of you to some extent, and we're good at taking care of ourselves, everybody flourishes, everything gets better. But no, I don't think I experienced that until fairly recently. What do you think is the secret to a successful relationship?

There isn't just one, but at least in the top five is master or at least be good at autonomic self-regulation. Know how to calm yourself down. Don't expect the, like looking to anything external to soothe yourself, is it put you in a terrible position to be a caretaker of yourself and other people, right? So learn how to self-soothe, right? Learn how to calm your mind,

steady your action, steady your voice. There are tools to do that. We talk about on the podcast, but elsewhere, have that in place. I also think that if your main focus is on, you want to have good boundaries, et cetera, but on tending to the relationship, doing a little bit more than you think you ought to do,

if everyone does that, it goes great. I mean, I'm sometimes so positively struck by how supported I feel because for many years, I was just kind of doing everything on my own. So any little thing, I'm like, oh my goodness, this feels huge. And also, I think the dynamics have to be right. Let's be really honest. This is a little bit of a tricky topic, but there is a power dynamic in relationships. Sometimes, not all, but in some relationships, it works

much better if one person leads and the other person follows. In other relationships, it's more mutuality, works best. People need to know what they need. And so knowing what you need and what you crave is really important. And then once you do that, you can create the relationship you want. I've seen that over and over again. And people are different. But I think that ultimately, I mean, right, it's, there's the dopamine phase of a relationship and then there's the serotonin phase, the kind of more mutuality, coziness and sweetness.

There's a great book about how to make sure that the dopamine component and the serotonin component, so to speak, go on forever. And it has to do with, you know, when you first meet someone and you're attracted to them, you're essentially objectifying them. Meaning, not in the way people might think, you are not dependent on them for emotional stability or survival. As you get close to somebody, you really come to depend on them and then you tend to

objectify them less. And so this book, the book is, the name is kind of corny, but it's written by an analyst again, it's called Can Love Last. And it's a book about how really good, strong relationships are the consequence of people constantly moving through this dependency objectification dynamic. And I use those words in the true, the psychological sense, not in the way they're typically thrown around nowadays. So, you know, in some cultures, men and women will only touch for two weeks out of the month.

And then for the other two weeks, the excitement and the sensuality and all, and the sexuality is very heightened. And then they go back to this kind of distancing. Now, I don't think that's feasible for most people. But if you look statistically, those relationships tend to last a very long time with at least reported mutual feelings of intense attraction for many, many, many decades. So human beings need to learn how to at least understand and control these dynamics.

And there's a lot of divorce, there's a lot of cheating, there's a lot of stuff out there, it'd be great if people could resolve some of this stuff inside of the relationship, in my opinion. Yeah, and this kind of intense interaction, I, there's actually one of the poems, the Carl Dyseroth introduced me to to I think two English poems is the name, but one of the things I find myself for prolonged periods being attracted to is like

you notice some kind of magic and you keep wanting to dig to the depths like of that magic. You need to really know that person to really to the depths of that magic. You mean to really know that person? To really know a person deeply yet. You notice something? Yeah, early on. Sure. I don't know what that is,

but you just notice something special and you want to keep pulling at that thread and you never really do. Well, you also have to be careful, you know, I get a lot of questions from God. You have to be careful the questions you ask in a relationship too. You have to make careful the questions you ask in a relationship, too. You have to make sure you really want that information.

And it's not just about people's past, right? If you ask somebody how they really feel about something about you and they tell you, that may be soothing, it may be intensely stressful. You have to be, here's one thing I know for sure. For a relationship to work, you have to be brave. You can't go in there fully protected. And yet, you also can't go in there with no boundaries

because you'll end up beat up. What's that quote? If you wanna be a warrior, prepare to get hurt. If you wanna be an explorer, prepare to get lost. And if you wanna be both, you know, if you become a lover, prepare to be both, or something, something like that. I forget, this is one of these Instagram type things

that you see passing by and you go, yeah, that's pretty true. Love scary because it takes us back to that primitive circuitry that is as primitive and basic as hunger thirst, the desire for heat when we're cold as desire for cold when we're overly warm. It's a it's dinorphin. I mean, when somebody leaves, like the, you you know when somebody you were attached to leaves by death or by decision Or your forced apart the dynoirfin release is a massive. It is true discomfort people feel anxiety and discomfort and Moving through that is a the hell of a process. I mean if I knew how to best break up at the neurological level

Or if you could just plug yourself into a wall and reset. I mean, I do that episode tomorrow, but we don't have that knowledge. Now, come on, I think we've covered this before and even been memified, I think, losing love is part of the magic of love. It means you've felt something. I agree, but at some point, I give you done enough times.

You know, life is finite, you know, it is beautiful to see these couples that seem very much in love despite many years, despite having been together many years. Yeah, the way they look at each other. They'll see they'll see the magic. Yeah, and they'll say, we got lucky or it was, it's been hard or this and that. I think external conditions being a little tougher is helpful for a couple. Hard shit. I do, because I think that you rally, and you bond with people, obviously you want to survive those conditions, but I think that it's vinyin' clied.

So they were a little a little too much Well a little too much they were as sociopaths, but the well when two sociopaths can make you do crazy. Well normally it's interesting normally sociopaths don't team up Because they because they manipulate each other sociopaths sadly are are usually only interested in manipulating the highly pliable or unsuspecting. But when romantic attraction is woven in, then it gets really diabolical. And you advise and finding the love of your life of my life.

This is a why it looks a single response, why any advice. Yeah, actually, this comes from a friend of mine who's in a really excellent marriage with great kids and family and high demand life. It's a decision. Like at some point, you just prioritize it as, okay, I'm going to make this happen one way or another. And you don't force the discovery of that person but I mean I'm occasionally said hey I think you should meet this person or that person and

well it wasn't maybe my judgment was might have been off but the timing wasn't right or something but I think that you it's a decision and it also has to do with life structure I mean there were years so I when I was in graduate school to do with life structure. I mean, there were years, so when I was in graduate school, I didn't want to girlfriend. I just wanted to be in lab, and I sure I had romantic dating interests, but I wasn't going to meet them through a committed, you know, live together situation. I wasn't where I was at. And as a postdoc, your things are a little different, et cetera, et cetera. So, but at some point, it's sort of like, what do I want my daily routine to look like? Because ultimately, a relationship, however one structure is going to be part of your daily routine to look like. Because ultimately a relationship, however one structures is going to be part of your daily routine.

So at the point where you're like, you know, I'd really love to wake up next to somebody and do blank and blank together. And then I'd love to work and then we meet for dinner and then we take the dog for a walk or take kids out or whatever it happens to be, take a trip. But you have to be, one has to be in the mindset of wanting to do couple like things, people, and a lot of people don't think about it that way.

They either fall into something or they don't see the benefits of coupling up. I think that the pandemic tuned people's awareness to the fact that some things are indeed easier on your own. It depends on finances, et cetera, et cetera, but a lot of things are made better done with other people. 100%. But I also, so I was very deliberately, it's an interesting way to put it, what do you want your day to look like? I think what do you want your day to look like, what you want your life to be? I was very deliberately always, first of all, happy to be alone, like conscious thinking.

I know a lot of friends were just unable to be alone. I'm able to be alone, but I'm much happier with another person. I'm able to share joy without the humans. I look forward to the day that our kids are rolling your jitsu, and my kids are hanging out with your kids. If that notion sounds even remotely interesting, then fun, then it's sort of like you kind of backpedal from that and you go And think from first principles about love and you're

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being an amazing human being who's so inspiring to so many people for constantly I told us the car like one of the things that was really refreshing About you is that you, when I tell you an idea and I tell you a thought when I tell you something, you didn't, you don't shut it down as a first step. I was saying that that's common in a scientific community that's common in people around you. You're seeing what's the goal there. You get excited, you get excited together. And that's how you can really have a great friendship and a great, great, great stuff together. So I'm deeply grateful for that. And just for connecting so many interesting people together, you're doing an amazing job, man. And thank you for existing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for talking today.

And next time I'll see you in the sauna. Yeah, yeah, I speth. Well, I want to say several things. First of all, thank you for having me on again. It's an honor and a pleasure. I don't say that formally. I'd really truly mean it. I only you were in lab podcasts. As I always say, only exists because you gave me this suggestion and I'm so grateful that you did. So thank you. And for doing what you do, like you, you are brave and you were first man in and you're just continue to do it. Just what as my postdoc advisor used to say, whatever you're doing, just keep going. And then in terms of our friendship, I mean, I think you know, and if you, if you don't, I'm going to just keep telling you anyway by texting in person you're an amazing friend.

There's deep trust there's immense respect and I love you brother. I love you too man. We did it. Thanks for listening to this conversation with Andrew Cubanman. To support this podcast please check out our sponsors in the description. And now let me leave you with some words from Ralph Waldo Emerson. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. I look forward to doing just that in the many years to come a friendship and fun conversations

with Andrew. Thank you for listening and hope to see you next time.