Life in Colour - 32: Why Your Colours Don't Change (But Your Relationship With Them Does)

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Your season never changes. But how you feel about wearing certain colours within it? That can shift completely and it doesn't mean something's gone wrong. This week I chat about why a client might suddenly love a colour she used to avoid, or why you might open your wardrobe and just not want to reach for something you know suits you. It's not your colours. It's your relationship with them. In this episode: The emotional baggage we attach to colours — school uniforms, hard seasons, and why "I could never wear that" is rarely actually about the colour My own story of retreating into "safe" colours (blush pink, navy, white, grey, denim) during years of serious health struggles, and what that taught me about clothing as control The real difference between colour fatigue and styling fatigue and why it's almost always the second one Why having your colours analysed doesn't shrink your options, it expands them (I wears more shades now than she ever did before her own analysis) Permission to evolve: your colours stay the same, but you're allowed to take a break from one, come back to another, and keep discovering new favourites within your palette Mentioned in this episode: Last week's episode: Breaking Up With Platinum Blonde [link to episode] The Colour Collective — Ashley's monthly membership for women who want ongoing colour and styling support [link] Virtual Colour Analysis — if you're ready to find your own palette [link] Ashley 💕

Welcome to Life in Color, the podcast where we dive into the real, raw and wonderfully colorful aspects of life. I'm your host, Ashley, and I'm here to explore the ins and outs of seasonal color analysis, navigating motherhood, thriving in your 40s and beyond, and embracing health and wellness with a healthy dose of humor. Join me as we uncover the secrets behind finding your perfect palette, share stories of the joys and challenges of being a mum. And from practical tips to heartfelt conversations, life in color is your space to laugh, learn and live life. unapologetically in all of its colorful hues. So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let's add some color to this adventure that we call Life in Color.

Hey, everyone. I hope you are well. I hope everyone is good. It is sunny in Sydney, brisk. It was quite chilly this morning. Like, it reminded me of the UK, you know, when you breathe out and you can see like your breath, which I'm sure if you're listening from Melbourne or Tasmania or someone really cold, you're like, Ash, we get that all the time.

Do I get that so much? Or you haven't this year so much in Sydney. Anyway, this episode this week is not about the weather. Today we're going to be talking about why your colours don't change, but your relationship with them does. And I think it's a really interesting thing to delve into and to have a quick chat about. Now, I've only got 15 minutes before I need to leave to go pick up my daughter from work. And I've been faffing around with a microphone.

So let's hope I don't have a perimenopause moment because I'm going to have to probably pause this, come back and then forget everything that I've already told you. The reason that I think would be really good to chat about this this week is because I had a moment the other week where I was going through my drawers and I was figuring out what to wear. And it's not that I had a I don't know what to wear moment. I didn't. It was more of a like, do I want to wear that again kind of thing? And it really got me thinking about our relationship with clothes. I certainly don't need more clothes. But especially with our colors because I've even had clients saying to me recently like, oh, I used to to love wearing that or I've never worn that and I want to start wearing it or I'm so excited to be trying new colors within my color palette that before I would have just completely overlooked. So I thought it would be really good to drive into it. Now, the first thing that I'm going to mention when it comes to why this can happen, the first one's more of an emotional thing.

And it's that you can take emotional baggage around specific colors. So to give you an example, today I was in Seed and I was purchasing a really lovely cardigan and it was a very pale, very, very, very pale pink cardigan. And I already had like a lavender kind of knit on and then I had that, which I'm sure all of you, if you follow me on Instagram, you see me wearing it all the time at the moment. It's my favorite coat to wear in winter. And it's like pink and purple and blue. It's a real mix. And she said to me, you must love this color. She said, but it really suits you. Like I can understand why you're purchasing this. It really, really suits you. And I'm like, thank you very much. And I explained what I do and how

I knew that it was my color. And she was like, I feel like since the relationship to the colors that I wear, I feel like has changed a little bit. So we're going to dive into that today. But also then she said, have you seen the new season collection that's come in? And I was like, yes. And there is a really vibrant, warm toned red, like a bright spring red in there. Beautiful.

But so vibrant. And she was like, I could never wear that red because it was my school uniform. I cannot tell you how many. times I have heard that. Like so many times I have heard that in particular to do with a school uniform. I have it with in-person clients. I have it on questionnaires when people send things into me and they're telling me about their if they've had their colors done before or their relationship with colors like their favorite colors, their favorite seasons, all that kind of thing. And I find it fascinating. Now, as you know, I went to a number of different schools. So I had a

number of different uniforms, but let's, for the sake of it, for today. The last one that I had, which I was there four years. So that was the longest I was at a school. I went to St. Margaret's up in Brisbane. And their school uniform, it still hasn't changed to this day. I don't think it's changed since like the early 1900s when, did it open in the 1900s? Anyway, let's just say it's a really old school school and the uniform's been around for forever. Anyway, it is a navy skirt and top.

It's not like a shirt. It's an actual like top. And then you have like a white collar and then the detailing was brown. So it was like beige socks with brown school shoes and you could wear brown or navy in your hair. Actually, for anyone who listens to this that goes to St. Margaret's or used to go to St. Margaret's, I don't know if anyone remembers. I remember when they announced in assembly that girls, you should be so excited because you can now wear a white ribbon in your hair. I remember that so distinctly.

Anyway, I know that's a side note, but yeah, that's what happens sometimes with these kinds of uniforms. they're quite strict on their adherence to the colours and the code. Anyway, so I learned very, very quickly that for me, like, I never really wore brown anyway. I wore Navy a lot. Navy wasn't an issue for me. But there was a school just up the road that had more of a brown uniform. And I remember thinking, oh, I'm really glad I'm not wearing that uniform. But there are so many clients that say to me, if I even tell them chocolate is one of their

colors, they're like, no, not wearing it, not going to happen. And I totally understand why, because you have that association with that particular color and therefore you don't want to wear it. It's like for some people when they have a traumatic event happen and they can never wear that item of clothing again or they see that color and it reminds them. Again, it's the same kind of thing. This is where relationships with colors can change. It's not that you can no longer wear that color. It's how you feel about that color that comes into play. And so when it comes to like something like a school,

school uniform, there's a lot of memories that are held in that, whether you enjoyed it, whether you didn't or whether you just feel like you're dressing like your school days again. And so that's one, there's a really big part about why your relationship can change. Another one is, and this is a personal one for me, is that your colours can start to feel a bit too safe and boring. Now, I'm not talking about my light summer colour palette here at all. When I was in my 30s, I realized in my early 30s that black wasn't doing me any favours and it was just too harsh and it was too heavy. I'd still wear it on the bottom, but I stopped wearing

black. Like, if you can believe it, I bought a black roll neck top from Cook High. My daughter now has it because she can wear black. And I remember distinctly when I put that on and I was like, oh my gosh, I looked like death warmed up. And so I naturally gravitated away from black because I just didn't enjoy wearing it. And black's just not a color I've ever really wanted to wear. I wore it because everyone else kind of wear it when I was younger. Then I fell into a category of what I call safe colours. Now for me and for anyone, everyone's safe colours can be completely different. Sometimes they're neutral, sometimes they can even be colours. Now my safe options became, and I would say this is probably more mid to late 30s and this is when I started to have a lot of health issues,

like a lot. So what? If I look back to some photos, I'd say about 2008. around? Yeah, 2018. I defaulted to that blush pink that was around everywhere at that point in time. Navy, which I've always worn and I still wear. White, grey, I leaned heavily into grey and denim. They became the five colours that I wore on repeat and I wore them because even back then I had that kind of inkling that I knew that they suited me and that I could wear them. The thing is, is that it then got to the point where, like, I remember going into Kmart and I did buy it because when I was a makeup artist, the blush pink was one of my brand colours. And so when I purchased like a t-shirt to wear to when I was working, because I, I know so many makeup artists and hairdresses and everything wear black, I just couldn't wear black.

And I knew that I didn't want to wear anything bright or anything like that. So I just went for like that soft blush pink, like very, very subtle. And so when I went to Kmart, I bought like four t-shirts in that so I could have them in the wash and on rotation. Well, when I stopped working in makeup part of shoe, which that's a whole other topic, I became allergic to sesame and a whole load of seed oils and literally had to stop pretty much overnight. And when I stopped doing that, I still had those clothes. And so I still continued to wear them in my daily, everyday life. And back then, my health was in a pretty bad way. Like 2018 was not a good year at all by the end of the year I had lost an extortionate amount of weight and I look back at those photos and I just look so unhealthy.

And now that's a whole other conversation. But I can see why I did it. It's like how I talked about if you listened to last week's episode about hair, that was what I was kind of controlling. And it made it easy. And I know other people like, if you think of Jerry Hallowell, so the ex-spice girl, she only wears cream. Cream or white. That's what she wears. And she does it because it's one less decision that she has to make every single day. Are there other colors out there? Are there other colors out there that she could wear 100%. However, this is a choice that she has made.

Now, she has chosen cream over white, which I think is great because cream is much warmer for her and works really, really well. And then she does put like tan accessories and things like that with it. That's a choice that she has made in terms of her relationship with color. It's not just about getting dressed every day to simplify. it was all about by removing other colors. Like it just, she knew everything for her went together in that cream and that's what she chose to do.

So you have things like that. But when I stopped being a makeup artist and then I started having my clothing store, I did start introducing more color into my clothing store, into my clothing store, obviously, and then into my own wardrobe because I would wear what I had bought to showcase it. The thing is, I knew a lot of those colors. didn't suit me. And so then my relationship with color sort of went the other way that in my personal life, I basically wore the navy, the white, the gray in particular, the blush pink in particular, and the navy. They just became my safe spot. And I don't think I even realized I was doing

it at the time, I think because my health was in such a bad way with my endo. And that's when I went paleo and I had endoscopies and colonoscopy, you name it, I had it. And endosurgery is all kinds stuff. So when things like that happen, that's where your relationship to your clothes and colors can change without you even realizing it because your brain potentially is trying to simplify things. It's trying not to go back to an event. It's trying to make your life as easy as possible. And none of the colors that I chose were overpowering or dominating or anything like that. They were really soft and subtle, which is perfect for me being a light summer. But when I then discovered my color palette, I felt a kind of relief. And I know that's going to sound bizarre. And I know that's

going to sound bizarre to some and then to others who know their colors or even curious to have their colors done, that feeling of relief of like, okay, I finally know which ones suit me and I know which ones don't suit me and to avoid. But also, it gave me permission to let go of those safe colors. Now, blush pink and gray and navy and white and the denim that I wear, they are all in my color palette still. So what, I'm 44 now and I've known my colors. for what three, three and a half years. I can honestly say I only, I have a couple of grey things. I would wear them more in winter and like I've got one grey tank that I would wear

in summer. But they were a slightly different grey. Like when I used to wear grey, it was a really, really super light feather kind of grey. So I have gone for like more of a mid, not a charcoal, but I've gone for more like of a mid grey. I would rarely wear them, like really, really rarely wear them. and the blush pink pretty much disappeared altogether. I just needed a break from it.

And I think even in that first year or so, there wasn't a huge amount of pink actually in my wardrobe, which for me is huge because pink has been my favorite color since I was tiny. I say five, but if you ask my mom, my mom would tell you my favorite color pink was, it was around from when pretty much when I could start talking. Like, I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have a son, not so much now.

When he was little, he would pick out red clothes. I kid you not, it didn't matter. He started doing it at nine months, ten months a year. He would go and he would pick out the red thing and he would even take off what he was wearing and give you the red thing instead. So there's that pull towards certain colours that you really like or identify with from a really young age.

Like red for me is a colour that I have never worn ever. It's not in my colour palette anyway. Coral is, and I can wear that, but I've always felt that it's too intense and powerful and too much for me. That was what was really, really interesting. And it's, I don't think I've really got any of that sort of blush pink necessarily. The item that I've purchased today is a very, very soft baby pink, but it's a slightly different hue, like ever so slightly different hue. It doesn't match what I used to wear. And then after about a year, that's when I started to reintroduce pink, but it wasn't in that kind of tone. It was the proper.

pink that I used to wear when I was younger. So, like, I have a few varying shades in my light summer palette. And I would say now, I have most of them in my wardrobe, definitely within my winter wardrobe. I've now got pretty much all pinks covered. I probably need a couple more for my summer wardrobe. But otherwise, no, pretty much all pink is covered. I don't actually think I've got any pale pink in my summer wardrobe.

So even this year, I've started thinking, I'd like a strappy singlet or even a strapless top or something in that kind of thing. pink, but it's not quite the blush pink. It's a baby pink, which is different. If I think of that blush pink, you know, I probably, in my head, even with what we've just been talking about, think about that reminds me of 2018, 2019 when I was in a bad way and I just don't want to go back there. So that's one area that can be holding you back or how your relationship can change. And it's okay. It doesn't mean that that color is gone forever. Like I'm definitely bringing gray ball back into it. Navy, you've never left. But definitely the grey and the pink, they had their moment,

but then I feel like they're starting to come back in. And that's the difference that you can have with colours. It doesn't mean you never have to wear it again, but just understanding why can sometimes help you realize it's not the colours that it's changing. It's how you feel about them. Okay, let's move on to the second thing of why your relationship may be changing. There's a difference between color fatigue and styling fatigue. And so let me break this down for you a little bit more. When you have your colors and when you're going through your colors, there's a common misconception or a myth that you're going to get really sick of your colors. And look, you know, there might be one color that you wear again and again and again because you've discovered it and you love it

and that maybe you want to take a break from. That's just totally normal. That's just life and that can happen with any color. But I guarantee you, I'm wearing so many more colors now than what I used to. So to give you an example, you know, talking about what we just talked about a second ago. I used to wear blush pink, grey, navy, white and denim. The colours that I now wear, so navy, white, denim, grey, I'm not going to say blush pink because I don't really wear that one anymore. I wear like a brighter pink. I wear a soft baby pink. I wear like a mauve. I wear an actual purple. I wear a lavender. I wear a cornflower blue. I wear a darker blue. I wear a very soft baby blue.

I wear a slightly strong yellow. I'm literally going through it. I wear like an aqua. I wear teal. I'm literally looking at all of my clothes. I wear like a really beautiful cornflower blue. Honestly, I could keep going. The list is endless of all the different shades that I now wear.

And I feel like my world just opened up so much when I discovered my colors. And people think that you get bored. You don't. You've got like, say you have a color analysis with me, then you get 90 colors in your sister palettes. I'll explain to sister palettes really quickly because I know that people find them so confusing. So I'm a light summer.

It's the easiest to give you an example. My main sister palette, so light summer is my primary palette. That is the one that I have been classified as. My sister palette to that, the main one, is light spring. The reason for that is because light spring has the same characteristic first of needing lightness in my colors. It's not about temperature first. It is about lightness. I need that lightness and then my cool tone comes next. So whilst I'm cool toned, I can borrow some colors from light spring. Now, not all of them suit me. Like there's some greens that don't suit me. I find the orange is a

little bit tricky. Sometimes the yellow can be just a little bit too warm for me. But I find like the purples and the pinks and the blues and that, those that I can borrow like a coral. I borrow. I borrow coral a lot from light spring. They're all the kinds of colors that I can actually wear. But I also have extra colors within cool summer and soft summer that I can borrow because they're part of the summer family. Again, they're not my primary palette, but they are my sister palettes. So if I add up all those colors in the swatches that I have on my phone, that is 120

colors that I can use. And you might think, oh, well, you know, they're all the same color. No, they're not. that's why we have different shades. There are so many, you know, if you imagine like, you know, when you're doing like that on PowerPoint or in Canver and you used to use the color thing around to get the color exactly where you wanted to do like in Adobe when you're at uni or school, think of all the different hex codes that come from that.

That's because there are a thousand different versions of color. So if you remember that, that's why all of these colors, they're a different shade. It might be small, it might be a tiny, minute difference in color, but I promise you it makes a difference when you put it on. So, no, there's no getting bored when it comes to that. I have not had one color client in all the time that I've been doing color analysis, come back to me and say, I'm bored with my colors. Can you help me? That has not happened. So when I talk about color fatigue versus styling fatigue, the other day, I was getting ready and I didn't have a, what am I going to wear moment like I've got nothing to

where it was more that I opened the drawer and I was like, oh, which one am I going to choose today? And it wasn't about the color. It was about the fact that winter is my least favorite weather season and I enjoy it for pretty much like what? How long have we been in it now? Six weeks? Seven weeks? Yeah, I've pretty much hit my limit.

So this is a normal thing for me to get to this point and be like, I'm a little bit over this now. And because I don't have, I probably have a bigger summer wardrobe. like I'm talking about weather seasons. I have a bigger summer wardrobe than I do a winter one because that's my favorite. I just get probably a bit bored of the jumpers that I've got. And that was the problem the other day. And so what I've started doing, rather than just having knits that I wear, more chunky

knits, I make sure that I've got some thinner knits. Like I use my Marks and Spencers one all the time and then I'll put like a cardigan on the top or I'll put a jacket on the top or I'll put a scarf on the top, that kind of thing to mix it up. that is what I'm trying to do. So I'm trying to have more cardigans to mix it up. So it doesn't feel like I'm just wearing a jumper all the time. And then I've got the thinner knits that I have.

And then I also try and maybe put a shirt underneath a knit. So then you've got a different pop of color coming out. So it looks slightly different. I might tuck it in a bit differently. I might leave it out. I might pair it with something a little bit like a different color. I'm trying really, really hard to mix up my outfits. I'm also trying really hard not to wear jeans every day

because that for me personally is a very easy default is to literally just wear jeans in autumn winter. So today I wore tights and a skirt. I wore a denim skirt, but I wore tights and a skirt. And it was really nice to be in something different because for me, my style personality and what I prefer to wear, I love skirts and I love dresses. I really have started to also enjoy wearing shorts a lot in summer. But pants I don't really wear in summer. I really only wear pants sort of more in autumn, winter, because that's just a personal preference. So I feel that that's what's been missing for me. I am one of those people, though, that feels the cold. And so if someone said to me, or if I used to say this to clients as well, you can absolutely wear a summer dress, just put some

tights underneath it or put like thermal leggings. For me, I'd have to have super thermal leggings. Just because I feel the cold a lot. So if I put that a super thin cotton dress over the top of it, I would feel that. So I've gone for like thicker, like I've got a woolen skirt. I've got a knit skirt, a navy one that I wear. I've got that denim pleated skirt that I wear. I've got a few different things. And that's what I like to do in order to mix it up for me a little bit. I've also realized that I didn't have a lot of long sleeve of cotton tops that I could wear underneath and just wear on their own if I was wearing like just a jacket or a cardigan or even if I was at home saying had the heating on under. I didn't need to wear a jumper.

I didn't have many of those. If you can believe it, I had pale pink, a navy, a white and a grey. So I decided to inject some colour into that side of things this year. So I've went and I've bought a lemon one and I'm still on the hunt. I wanted a teal one and I haven't found that yet. So I'm trying to add more to my everyday longsleeve top. I find that those cotton long sleeve tops tend to come in more autumn winter colors. So they come in like the browns, the chocolates, the russ, the maroons, the burgundies, the greens, like the forest green, all that kind of thing.

Whereas I need the paler ones and they're just not quite around as much. So that's a hole in my wardrobe that I have discovered and that I'm working on. Will it be 100% done this season? No, it won't because it's also now coming, you know, the 21st of July today. And I don't want to invest too much more in winter items, even though I did just buy another cardigan. But I love that cardigan and it will be one that I can wear through into like spring when we still have cooler mornings with the top underneath it. And then I'll see into autumn, winter next year. So that's where it's a fine, finite line as to whether it is color fatigue or styling fatigue.

More often than not, it's actually styling fatigue that's getting you rather than color fatigue, even if you are wearing a whole load of neutrals. There's generally one more that you're pulling into than another one. Okay. Now, the last one actually does involve your color palette. And this is where I find a lot of clients need that permission. That's me in my private life as well. Like when I'm talking to like a business coach or I'm talking to a friend or I'm talking to

someone else sometimes normally what you're seeking is for someone to say, just do it. Do that. Let it go. It's the permission that you're after. So I'm going to say and give you the permission that you know your colours, obviously they stay the same. It's okay if you change. It's okay if your confidence with a certain color changes. It's okay if your style personality shifts. It's okay if you start to, you know, you've evolved on your color journey and the colors that you first started out with. There are more that you want to experiment with and so you don't wear those ones as much. It is not the fact that you don't want to wear them at all. It's

just that you just need a little bit of a break from them. And that's okay. There is absolutely no rules here. There's no trends. There's nothing. But it's in the permission for you to evolve and keep empowering yourself and trying new things. And it's okay to recognize if you need a break from the color, just like how I needed a break from the blush pink. Like I still look at it and I think it's really pretty, but I still haven't reached for it. And so this has been a really long time now since I wore it. What I think I said like, it was like, what, three, three and a half years since I wore it. So there are going to be times when things like that happen where you have just evolved.

And it could be that you've decided, you know what, that blue, I want to try a different kind of blue. The beauty of this is is that you have different variations within your colour palette. You do if you have a color analysis with me. you've got, there's not just one color in there, one version of it between your primary palette and then your sister palettes. There are so many different versions in there. Sometimes it's just choosing a slightly different one. Like the other day in the color collective, which is my membership for women who are wanting to continue their color journey and they'd like to have some advice from me and we do master classes and shopping and all this kind of stuff. There was a lady in there the other day and she popped up a jumper that she'd found and she was so lovely.

She was like, you've inspired me to try this color. And that was fabulous. Like she hadn't worn that before. So that was amazing. And sometimes like with me inspiring her, like we had a chat on the group call, it's okay to either ask for permission and say to someone, look, I'm really not sure whether this suits me or if I should try it or what do you think. How many times are you in a change room where you snap a photo and you send it to a friend

or your mom or your sister or your daughter and you say, what do you think? Because even I did that today. It wasn't about the color. I wasn't sure on the sizing. I ended up going, I knew which one I wanted, but I just wanted to see what others thought. And even I do things like that. It's about seeking permission. Generally, you already know the answer. If you don't, that's where you need to delve a little bit more into, do I actually know my style personality? Do I know my colors? All of these are tools. Remember what I've talked about before? So many of these things are tools. They are skills that can

be learned. You're not born with it. Like everything, I'm not a rocket scientist. If I wanted to be, I would have to go off and study really hard because I'm not that great at science. But my point is, you have to go and study for it. It is exactly the same. How many times do people say, oh, I watched a tutorial on how to put makeup on or how to apply my makeup or I'm not that great at that? And yet there seems to be a thing a little bit more of a stigma of you should know how to get dress. No, that is not a natural thing that comes to some people. Some people need a little bit of help with that. Now, this is a whole other conversation. I'm pretty sure I've done some episodes on it, so I'll put them in the show notes if you're needing a little bit of help with that. But I just

want you to know, those are the reasons why you may feel that your relationship with your colours have changed a little bit, or you think that you don't like your colours anymore or for whatever a reason. Generally, generally, there's a reason behind why it is, and it can be, it's the actual item of clothing, it can be that an event has happened, it can be that you've worn it so much, but you just need to have a little bit of a break from it and that you can come back to it. It's not that you can't wear them. Well, I hope that has been helpful today. Thank you so, so much for joining me. I said that I was going to be consistent and accountable. It is 537pm on Tuesday. I'm going to edit this and get it up tonight, even if it's midnight by the time that I do,

because I've really made that commitment to myself and to all of you that I really want to show up on this podcast because I just love it. It is so much fun sitting here. Like I know I'm literally sitting here in my office looking at the window, talking into a microphone and basically talking to myself because I can see myself on the video on the software that I'm using to record this. But I also know that there are going to be times when you're in the car listening to me or you're doing your housework and you're listening. to me or you're cooking dinner. Whatever you are doing, I appreciate you being here so much. Thank you so, so much. And if you have any suggestions for the podcast, please let me know, because I always want to make sure that I am covering topics that you are interested in listening to. Anyway, take care, everyone. I'm going to go, at least it's a reheated dinner tonight.

Don't you love that? Oh my gosh. It's so good. And we have two different things. So I feel like a restaurant tonight. They can actually choose what they want to order. Anyway, I know a bit craaker at time. So thank you for being with me. Take care. Have a fab night and I will catch you next week. Bye.