Life in Colour - 9: You’re NOT Bad at Fashion—One Tiny Decision Can Change Everything

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m just bad at fashion,” it’s time for some tough love—because that’s simply not true. Style isn’t something you’re born with; it’s a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. In this episode, I’m here to change up the way you think about getting dressed and show you how one small decision today can completely shift how you feel in your clothes. Want to learn more about seasonal colour analysis? Get my free Finding Your Colours Guide @ https://www.lovingcolour.au/findyourcolours Or want to know your perfect colour palette now? Purchase a Virtual Colour Analysis with me to find out exactly which colours light you up! Go to https://www.lovingcolour.au/colouranalysis Follow along on Instagram: https://instagram.com/lovingcolour__

Hi everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Life in Color. Now I had already recorded this and then realized that there was no sound, which slightly problematic when you are reporting a podcast. So here I am today, re-recording it. And I'm hoping that I'm able to do it justice like I did the other day because it was actually a really good episode, if I say myself. So for this week's episode, I actually had something totally different planned for you. And then I was listening to a podcast episode, and you know me, I love listening to them in the car. And this one's by Rachel Hollis. I have followed Rachel Hollis for a really, really long time.

I'm talking like 10 years or so. So it's like listening to an old friend when I hear her podcasts. And it was the one this week, it was all about one decision, or the one that I should say I listened to this week, because I'm a few weeks behind. I'm about how one decision can really change your life. So whether that be a small decision like stopping scrolling social media at night, or in the morning, which is something actually that I have just started to do, or making sure that you drink a glass of water with lemon in the morning, or you're getting up earlier to start your day with peace

and quiet. Or it's those really big decisions where maybe you've decided to cut back on drinking because you don't feel that it's right for you or that you've decided that you actually want to go back to university because what you're doing for a job just isn't making you happy. And it really got me thinking because so often I'm hearing from women and from clients and from people that I just chat to on Instagram, that when it comes to getting ready every day or choosing clothes and choosing colors, sometimes that they feel there are just so many decisions to make. And so today, I want to give you a little bit of that motivation, but also a little bit of tough love, because I want to let you know that it's not as hard as you think it will be

to make those kinds of changes with getting ready every day. And I promise you, you can start really, really small. So when it comes to what you wear every day, I think that for a lot of us in the mornings, you know, you can get a bit overwhelmed by what's going on in the house. And I'm not talking about necessarily, which can happen, standing in front of your wardrobe and being like, I have no idea what an earth to wear today. Like you, I have been there too. But it's more about to start with what's going on in the house.

And sometimes it can be complete chaos. with everything around you. And it's not like you can freeze and do nothing. Everybody has to get dressed every day. So I'm talking about the kind of chaos and overwhelms when you're trying to get a family out the door in the morning. And no matter how much you organize and plan, generally things are going to happen. Like kids arguing, like I can't find my socks. Oh, I didn't realize I had sport today. Do you know where my sport uniform is? Oh, it's in the wash. What am I going to do? I've got to stay after school for this? Did you realize you've got to pick me up at a different time? And so in the mornings, it can be quite easy to feel a bit bombarded by everybody around,

everybody around you, wanting you. And I think that's a natural thing for a mother is then to put yourself last. And so sometimes you can be getting totally overwhelmed or, you know, not even overwhelmed, but just they all want you. And so you're trying to figure out what to where and so you just reach for the first thing that you find. And so when we put ourselves last, whether that be in doing exercise, eating right, making sure you've got time on your own, gosh, we all crave that time, you know, just like a five minutes piece. Whether that's reading a book, all that kind of thing, the thing is, like I mentioned before, everybody has to get dressed every day. Like everybody in the world gets dressed every day. And when you're trying to

get dressed in the mornings, I hear so often from clients, I choose black because it's easy and I don't have to think about it. It's just something that I can grab and go. Or I just wear the same outfit every day. I have like a school uniform that I wear because, well, I don't know if it suits me. I don't really know what else to wear in my wardrobe. It's going to take too much time. I don't have the time. I know that this works and this is what I have in my wardrobe. Or, perhaps you're someone who wears athletic wear every day because it's comfortable and it's easy and I don't know what else to wear and I'm just going to wear this. So as you know, like the whole basis of my business, it starts and it's surrounded by colour. And you know me, I absolutely love

colour. However, maybe not all of you do know this about me, but that I'm also a stylist and I'm also a qualified makeup partner. Now that is a story for a whole other time, but I am. And so I like to bring all of these things together. And when I'm bringing it together and I'm talking to my beautiful clients or I'm talking to people on Instagram, there are times when I can literally feel the stress coming off them, especially when they're saying something like, I'm bad at fashion. It's not about being bad at fashion. And I really want that to resonate with you and you to hear me when I say that. You are not bad at fashion. You just don't know what suits you. You just don't know what suits you or what to purchase or what to do to put an outfit together so that you're really happy

in what you're wearing. And being happy in what you're wearing is not just about looking in the mirror and seeing that reflection thinking, gosh, I look really good today. I love what I'm wearing. It's not about that. It's about looking in that mirror and thinking, this dress makes me really happy. I'm really glad I chose to wear this today because I really, I feel really good in it. and it's all about how it makes you feel and then how you present yourself for the rest of the day. So if you're wearing something that you feel a bit frumpy in or that you think washes you out or is maybe, you know, a little bit too tight or perhaps it's a little bit too baggy and you don't know what shapes suit you and colors suit you, that impacts everything.

It doesn't just impact literally what you're wearing and what people are seeing you in. And the psychology behind getting dressed isn't just about, oh, I want to look pretty. It's about at the core how it makes you feel. And I think as a busy mother, you know, we give so much of ourselves to our families. And a lot of the time they generally always want us. Like someone is always calling mum in, well, in my house. And generally there's always someone demanding our time. And so things can really fall like we talked about earlier, right, I talked about earlier by the

wayside of looking after ourselves. but we have to get dressed every day. And so by getting dressed every day, if you can make that one decision, that teeny tiny one decision of, I'll try a new color within my color palette. Or you know what? I'm going to try that skirt with that top. Haven't done it before, but I'm going to try it just to see how it goes.

Or I'm going to look on Pinterest and try and see if there's some kind of style on there that I like. I'm not talking about major wardrobe overhauls here. I am talking about these teeny little micro decisions like Rachel Hollis was talking about on her podcast, which is what inspired this one, that can make all the difference and that can really start that sequence and that chain of events to help you understand what suits you. And secondly, figure out what you like and that when you're walking around, you're feeling great. Like, for instance, for those of you that are watching on YouTube, you can see that it's really hot in Sydney.

I've been really enjoying it. It's so nice. I don't want the summer to go away. But I've got a strappy dress on. It's a linen strappy dress. I love this dress. It is like wearing a nighty during the day, which for me, you know, I'm running a bit hot these days anyway. It's just so floaty and it's so nice. It's short because I like wearing short dresses and that's something that I have learned over the years. Maxi dresses are not my thing. I've got a few of them in my wardrobe. I really should shorten them because I don't reach for them anywhere near as much as if I'm wearing something short. It's got a really lovely neckline and it's just so easy to wear. And I love the colour.

Like, love, love, love the colour. And just as a side note, before I knew my colours, I would never have worn this colour. It's peach. Like honestly, it is like that 1980s kind of apricot-y peach kind of colour, which is so hard to wear for so many people. But if you're a light summer or a light spring like me, then it's a really great color for us to wear. It just happens to be one of my best colors. And it makes me so happy every time I catch a reflection of myself.

And it's not about being vain and thinking, oh, don't I look so pretty today? No, it's about me thinking, gosh, I really love this dress. I'm really enjoying wearing it. And so when you feel like that, that comes across in everything. So when I'm on the phone to a friend, when I'm talking to a client, when I'm doing a podcast interview, just when I'm sitting and doing focus work, it comes out in what I'm doing and it comes out even in the house doing things, like mundane things. But because I'm feeling really good in what I'm wearing, and I'm not talking about

being dressed up or anything like that, like this is literally a linen shift dressed. Like it's from Billabong, if anyone's wondering, it's lovely. I'm just talking about when you're getting ready in the morning, I know we have limited time, but there are definitely things that you can try and to do for yourself so that you're not just reaching for the things that are safe. And reaching for those things that you think it's just the easiest to wear. Because I can guarantee you, if you're wearing something that makes you feel flat, you're going to be flat. If you're wearing something, a colour say, that is so bright for you and you feel completely indefinitely. intimidated by it and overpowered by it, no amount of makeup is going to help with that.

You're going to feel it all day long. So finding out what truly suits you and what you enjoy wearing, you will then start to love what you wear every day and it won't be hard. And those quick decisions of what can I wear today because you know what's in your wardrobe and because you know that the items go together and how they fit, they're just as easy to grab as those black pair of pants that you have worn every day. They are just as easy to wear as that t-shirt and jeans that you've worn as a uniform every day or the athletic leggings that you have worn. It's just reaching for different things. So now that I've given a little bit of tough love, you're probably wanting, yeah, but that's so easy for you because fashion naturally comes to you and style comes naturally.

You know, I was on a call with someone the other day and I wish I had recorded it because I said something and I was like oh that's it that's my whole ethos and then I couldn't remember what it was that I that I'd set on that call so I'm going to try and remember and articulate exactly what it was but basically women today and I understand why because there is so much information out there but they get really caught up in the words of fashion and style and trends and looking modern you know there are so many, there's even videos out there of, you know, don't wear this anymore, wear that if you want to be modern in 2025. That's not me.

That's not who I am. And it's not about that, but I understand how all of that can be quite intimidating. I'm all about you finding the clothes that fit you, that are comfortable, that you enjoy wearing, and that you feel really happy in. And then when you know that, when you wear and enjoy putting on those, clothes every day. That's when you start to determine your personal style and it comes naturally. So it's not about trends. It's not about what's fashionable. And I get, like I've mentioned, I get how intimidating that can be. And yes, fashion is something that has always come naturally to me.

And really luckily that it does, because obviously this is what I do for a living. This is my sweet spot. But you ask me to do a drawing, it looks like a kindergartner has done it. Like seriously. really, really bad. Like my son asked me to draw a cat the other day, and I've got that down pat because, you know, I've drawn those since I was like three and I follow the same pattern as what I did literally when I was three. But what I'm hearing so often from people and from women is that I'm bad at fashion. I'm bad at style.

No, you're not. You are not bad at fashion. You're not bad at style. You just haven't necessarily had the time or taken the time. to learn it. It is a skill. Like how learning to draw is a skill, like how learning to drive is a skill that teenagers have to do, like how babies have to learn to walk. It is a skill and you have to learn it and you have to practice it, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. But I promise you, once you have understood what suits you in your body shape and you know your best colors,

it all just falls into place and it becomes so much easier. And I know how hard it can be. And I get that when you walk into some of those shops, it is just so overwhelming because there are so many stars and you're told, you know, we're all told at the moment about how we should age. I was having a really good conversation with somebody the other day about this. You know, there's the whole thing about not wearing any makeup anymore or, you know, letting your hair go grey.

by all means, if that is your choice to do, absolutely. You know, have natural hair, don't dye your hair, don't wear the makeup, do the Botox, don't do the Botox, all this kind of thing. But not everybody has to do it. So when you're seeing all of this out there, please don't feel that you have to conform to what everyone is trying to show you. You know, with social media, there is so much more information out there than what we used to have.

But with that, it can also come that overload. of like what I don't actually know what to listen to or what to do. So to give you an example, like if there is a trend, which has been recently, or they've come back a lot recently, for like wide leg jeans, even if it suits your body shape, if you don't like them, you do not have to wear them. There is no one saying that you can, what you can and can't do. And you know me, I'm not about rules. Like I mentioned before about trends or anything.

If there's a trend out there that you want to try, absolutely give it a go. But don't feel you have to do it just in order to stay relevant and to look fashionable or to think that I'm keeping up with the times. No, you will have your own personal style because everybody does. I'm about you finding what works for you. So when you go into those stores and you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed, have a look first in your own wardrobe and see what you're drawn to. And I'm not meaning like, you know, from a perspective of obviously, yes, it makes you happy when you wear it. Absolutely,

because that's what we've been talking about today. But I'm also meaning if you've got something like an evening dress in there that you just love. You don't wear it that often because obviously it's an evening dress. But you love it. I would say to you if you're a client of mine, Okay, look at the evening dress. What is it that you like about it? Is it the cut? Is it the neckline? Is it the color? Does it have a V neck? Does it have a scoop neck? Does it have a crew neck? Which is a much higher neckline. Is it off the shoulders? Is it the fact that it cinches you in at the waist? Does it have an a line skirt? Does it, is it more of a pencil skirt? Does it have detailing on it? Does it have a bit of bling on it? Is it a bright color? Is it a soft color? I want you to look at the fabric. Do you like the

feel of the fabric? Is it say a little bit more satiny? Is it a fabric you can move really easy in? Is it super comfortable? Start to ask yourself these questions on some of your favorite things in your wardrobe and have a think about why you like those items so much. And on your phone or in a notepad, I want you to write those things down. Because when When you write it down, you actually start to see the common themes and patterns from even just two or three items in your wardrobe that you like. And from there, what you can do is then go on to Pinterest because once you've written all those down, say, for example, you've realized actually that the one boho dress that you've got

in your wardrobe, that's what makes you feel really good when you wear it. It's practical. You love it. It fits with your lifestyle. It fits in with what you do. But you don't actually have that much of it in your wardrobe. you gravitate to more what you would classify as boring, more mainstream. But when you wear that boho dress, that's when you feel amazing and you really feel like you.

So go to Pinterest and type in boho outfits. And it doesn't have to just be a dress. You can do boho jeans outfits, boho winter outfits. If you know your colour palette, boho light summer outfits. So you can put your colour palette, if you know your colour palette, you can put your colour palette in there as well. It will start to give you some ideas. You can also do this in Google and then go into the images section and it will give you ideas and images.

And save the ideas or take a screenshot of the ones that you like and create a folder, which can then be a basis of, and you're not about matching the exact item. But then you can be like, oh yeah, I've got a blouse in my wardrobe that is similar to that. And I've got a pair of jeans so I can put that together. Oh, I really like the shoes she's wearing. So yeah, I can do those shoes and the bag. I think I've got something similar. And that's how you start to create those outfits.

It's not about copying them. It's about how then you start to put it together. And that then gives you a basis of the items that you would actually like to have in your wardrobe and to be wearing instead of what you actually are. Now, I know that sounds more like a bit of a crafty afternoon, like a research afternoon, but I promise you it's going to give you a really good idea as to the things that make you happy when you wear them. And it's going to give you a really good idea as to what you should actually be looking for when you go into the stores so that when you actually go in, there's actually

quite a bit that you can discount or there's even particular brands that you can discount because you know, nope, they're really, that's a bit edgy and dramatic. That one is really, really bright and bold. Nope, that's not for me. This one is all neutrals. No, that one's not for me. Oh, this one's a little bit more boho eclectic. That's for me. So I know that that may sound like a lot, but actually, in turn, it's actually a really small decision that has a really big impact. Because by knowing that maybe you're more boho, you're not going to go for that classic pants and shirt because that's not you. And you may have been wearing that because it's easy, but you could easily mix that up. And obviously, I'm not talking about throwing out your entire wardrobe,

but you could then be like, I'm going to keep those pants, but then I'm going to buy that Boho blouse. To go with it, I can wear that because it's appropriate for my workplace. It's fine. And then I'm going to get a pair of shoes that match one of the colors in the blouse. And then I'm going to start to build my wardrobe from there. And that's how you do it. It's little micro decisions. You can then be like, actually, I quite like that coral color that's sitting within the blouse pattern. I might try coral lip gloss. So if you're not into to big colors or anything like that, you can think, you know what, I'm just going to dip my toe in by taking one of the colors that I really like that coral color and giving it a go. It is these

little decisions. And when you're getting ready in the morning, I promise you, it is just as easy to reach for that boho top as it is to reach for the white shirt that doesn't suit you or doesn't work for you. So when it comes to figuring out what makes you happy when you're wearing it, you will know it when you put it on. So if you've got a second, go through your wardrobe, So another little thing that you can do just as a side note. You know me, I like side notes and tangents. It's just do that little test. And now I'm not saying that everything is going to make you smile from ear to ear.

But, you know, putting on a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts, well, actually, that personally does make me happy because I do enjoy wearing that on the weekends. I like it. It's basic. But then sometimes I might put on some jewelry with it that's got some color in it or I might put a bright lip with it. Or I might wear some colored shoes or a colored belt just to mix it up a little bit because I've got those things in my wardrobe. But I also have things in my wardrobe, for example,

I've got an olive green dress and I haven't let it go yet. And I'm hanging on to it because I think I'm going to try and die at Navy. Now, I love this olive green dress. It is like a rayon, viscassy, stretch kind of dress. It's got a cap sleeve, which is perfect for me. I don't wear full sleeves. They're too much fabric on me. And it's just, it's a bit too chunky. Everything, yeah, it just doesn't work. But this dress has got lovely V-neck. It is so comfortable. it sits really lovely on me. The colour does nothing for me, like literally nothing. And when I put that dress on, and I have felt this for years, pretty much ever since I bought it, but I bought it it because I really loved it. I felt it and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. And it's the

colour. Obviously now I know it's the colour because it's got a lot of yellow in that grain. If it was in teal, my teal colour, it would be perfect. So I haven't let it go like I said, but I choose not to wear it because I feel off in it when I put it on. And when you feel off in something, like I mentioned, like I feel that the whole day when I have that dress on. And I know that might sound like it's an exaggeration, but I just don't feel my best in it. And it's purely because what I'm wearing isn't reflective or doesn't reflect me in the best way, obviously because of the colours. But also, I'm not giving my best because I feel funny. And I know that that's really hard to put into it. And I know that it might sound really woo-woo to some people. And I totally get that.

And I'm definitely a bit woo-woo. But when you put something on, and like I mentioned, I say this all the time, especially with colour, once you become really intuitive with your colours, you will know whether it suits you or not because you'll have a physical reaction to it. And if I put that dress on, I start to move back. I start to recede a bit, like physically, I start to move back. And I just, I love the color, but it doesn't work for me. So that is another little thing you can do, a little micro decision of when you're putting things on, how does the color make me feel? And then how do I feel when I'm wearing it? Do I enjoy wearing it or am I wearing it because it's easy and I don't know what else to wear? So yeah, that's a little bit of tough love today. And I'm hoping that it's

going to motivate you, that these little decisions go a really long way, but also that knowing what suits you know, you're not bad at fashion. Please don't think that you're bad at fashion. You just have to learn. Now, I'm going to do a full podcast episode on figuring out more like style personalities and that kind of thing. Like I've obviously very briefly touched on Boho. But today, I really just wanted to focus on that psychology of maybe why you don't feel good in what you're wearing. Because when you don't feel good in what you're wearing, like I mentioned, it filters into everything and that self-confidence will take a hit and that's not an exaggeration. So to give you an example of that from my life, I had a pair of Country Road white pants

and I loved these pants. I think they were jeans actually. And I wore them years ago and I put them on. It must have been a year or so ago before I got rid of them. And I put them on. I felt frumpy in them all day long. And I really, really did. And I had a nice top on it with it and I had a nice pair of shoes.

But they were really baggy around my bottom. They did nothing for my rectangular shape, like nothing. And so I felt frumpy all day, but I felt self-conscious all day. And if you're self-conscious in what you're wearing, it will show. You will start to not necessarily be as bubbly or as vibrant because the clothes are making you feel self-conscious. And so they're just going to make you feel a little bit smaller. And so I couldn't wait to get those pants off and I have never worn them since.

I'm pretty sure, actually, that I donated. them. They were still in really good condition, but on me, they just didn't work. So when we talk about the psychology behind getting dressed and the theory behind all of that and the mindset, it is massive. It is like anything in your life. If you want to make a change, you have to be committed to it. And there is no different when it comes to getting dressed. But when people say, well, it doesn't really matter what you wear, I beg to differ. Like, I strongly beg to differ because it has a huge impact. You know, they say that when you wear red, you wear it. It's a sign of a really powerful

color and it gives you power behind it when you wear it. They say for women, you can feel really sexy by wearing a pair of stiletto heels. You know, they say that if you wear a really bright bold color on everyone that it works, no, it doesn't. You put a bright bold color on somebody who's a soft color like a soft autumn or a soft summer. It will overpower them that you won't even see them. You'll see the color because they can't carry it off and it will completely intimidate them and now shrink from it. But everybody has to get dressed every day. And so don't keep in this going in the same patterns because you think it is easier or easier to do that. It's not because you're not getting the best out of you by doing that. It's not,

it's not good for you to keep doing that because really, essentially, you're not living. You're not up to your own potential and your own expectations because you're going for the easy route. And like I mentioned at the very beginning of this, I totally get for mums in particular that we put ourselves last. I've done it. Completely I've done it. And there are times now when I still do it. However, I make it a priority that I'm feeling happy and what I'm wearing and that I am loving what I'm wearing because it makes a really big difference mentally to how I feel that day. So I know it's been a little bit different today. And I hope this hasn't been too heavy for you, but I really want you to have a think

about it and to take some time. And next week, or in the next few weeks, I will come back and start talking more about style personalities and how you figure that out because there are definitely ways to do that. But for now, I don't want you to feel that you're bad at fashion. I don't want you to think that you're unfashionable. You know, I actually don't really like the word fashion. And I know that's really weird considering the business that I run. I love talking about clothes and colors and makeup and vibrancy.

And yes, style comes into it too. But right at the very end, at everything when it comes to it, when you're happy and what you're wearing and you just love it, it will take the complete stress out of getting dressed in the mornings. And you will start to feel so much happier in yourself if you just make the effort. And it is an effort. Like I said, it is a skill and it is about learning how to do these things and it is about making an effort for you for how you show up, for how you feel about yourself for when you look in that

mirror. Don't let yourself down because you haven't made the effort. So I hope this has given you the motivation to make these tiny micro decisions that can make a really big impact on how you look, dress and feel every day. As always, if you have any questions from me, just drop me a line at Ashley at lovingcollar.a.u. Or head over to Instagram and you'll come and find me at Loving Color Double underscore. Color is spelled on both of those with a you. I'd love to have you come over and join my community over there. It's a really lovely group of women and we talk all things, style, color, makeup, clothes. And anyone who knows me knows I really love a really good chat. So send me a DM if you have a question. Anyway, take care. Have a great week. Please ponder what I

have mentioned and I will be back next week. Thanks so much everyone. Take care. Bye.