Life Uncut - 12. ASK UNCUT - My boss is micromanaging me, ghosting, life after travel, and marrying soon after having a baby.

Episode Date: February 19, 2020

It’s ASK UNCUT time!Legends! You bring the problems and we bring our unqualified advice! This week we talk marrying soon after giving birth, Ghosting, and how to let him down easy! We also chat work, travelling and getting back into normal life.Jump on the loller-coaster guys! And if you loved it, share the love, because, well, we love love xThanks to our sponsor FRANK BODY who now have Frank Face! Use code LIFEUNCUT15 for your 15% OFF when you spend $35 or more. Head to frankbody.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. Ask Uncut. This. What? Life Uncut. Oh my God, I actually forgot the name of our podcast. Our podcast is called Life Uncut. This episode is Ask Uncut.

Boom, baby. Get that in your guts. What I would have said, Laura, if that was me. Well, it wasn't you. Was it Brittany? I know, but I'm just like, let's just park this out right now. I would have been like, hey guys, welcome to Life Uncut. The very special episode, Ask Uncut.

Do you think that we should have maybe troubleshooted? Troubleshooted? Troubleshot? Troubleshot this. And also our ability to speak. No, it is troubleshooted. Pre-recording. No, because we're about uncut.

Yeah, right. Okay, so cool. So how have you been? I've been well. I went for a little dip in the ocean today. It was the first time I've been to the beach in a while. It was great. But I have a life update if you want to hear it.

Nah. Okay, next. No, I do. Thank you. Next. If you guys listened to the episode this week on Tuesday, it was the Valentine's Day edition. Can I just stop you for one second? I like that we're going to leave that shitty intro as that intro.

That's all I'm going to say. Oh, no, let's do it. Perfect. Continue. So yeah, if you listen to Tuesday's episode, we did a little rehash on Valentine's day, but I also told you guys that I had like this two tier breakdown at work where only two tiers rolled out. Cause that's how I roll also because you need to be hydrated and drink more water.

I was probably very dehydrated. So I had my little breakdown. So I ended up going home that night and spontaneously booked a trip to Bali next week. Sorry, Laura, I'm going to Bali. Do you even work? You did that to me. remember you were like I'm doing this on the weekend I was like what so now I'm going to Bali okay well I can handle that when are you going to Bali should we also talk about this off the

podcast no I'm going to Bali on uh next Saturday um don't worry guys this is not going to interfere with our ability to bring you some really cracking content I mean you know it might interfere with the ability for the content to be of the top-notch level but we will still get an episode out to you don't worry hey it might be better no it's not going to interfere episodes are normal um I'm only going for a short period of time but also if anyone wants to slide into my dm give me some ideas i'm going alone oh could you rub it in some more brit talk about it like alone silence no baby no screaming no children oh how does that sound it's turning you on isn't it i actually realized today that i've been having like a proper breakdown i was like maybe i've

been having a panic attack for eight months and then i realized oh no that's just parenting you're like something's really wrong with me the doctor's like how long has this been going on exactly eight months doctor okay so how old's your daughter now eight months i don't know is there do you think that if you think it correlates i i couldn't quite put a finger on it but i realized yes this is parenting welcome to the rest of my life literally the rest of your life isn't so guys the great thing about today's episode is that we give you a free therapy session we're here to answer all of your questions. Maybe not very well, but you know what? We're going to give it a good hot crack. We love it. And we are going outside the box today. So we do get a lot of

questions, obviously relationship-based because it's so weird that we're a relationships podcast and then you guys email us with your relationships questions. Weird, crazy. What a day. But we do love to talk about all aspects of life, things that are happening in your personal life or work life or travel life, or we do get a lot of questions like that too. So we're going to start to integrate those pretty much because we've like exhausted talking about fuck boys yeah you guys have a lot of those so do you brit i do not oh don't you can take that out actually i've got a reputation so getting back on track i'm gonna start with so girls i've got a question i am obsessed with the podcast i didn't need to put that part in well but i mean like clearly that's a very very

important part of the question so thank you thank you dear listener um she says it kind of falls under dating etiquette but i was just wondering what you guys would suggest is the best easiest least hurtful most humane way to tell someone that you aren't interested in a second date whilst wanting to maintain a friendship with the guy because you're both in the same friendship circle thanks in advance exo exo just ghost him just never write back laura's such a pro bitch just ask oh my oh my goodness I've been so busy I lost my phone no don't do that actually that's terrible advice I think normally you can do I've got even better advice don't burn his clothes just get really fucking crazy and send him like a like a wedding invitation see be like I booked

the date uh you know I've bought a wedding dress what do you think about this it's my parents wedding anniversary psycho and then he will he will do it for you I mean that is true actually You could just say, do you want to meet my family this weekend? Do you think that's some sound advice? Yeah, just tell him that you love him. That's probably a good way to get him to go away. Aw, look, that is funny, but let's be serious. Or ask Brittany because she seems to scare guys off also.

No, I'm joking, I'm joking. Oh, I went too far. You guys can't hear my normal laugh right now because I'm not laughing. And I'm dead, RIP my pants. Look, I don't know why I can't meet someone. this isn't about you should this turn into a counseling session for me okay doing a cuddle all right no let's get serious all right so i think that the ghosting thing i think that that i'm not a pro ghost i think i'm big on just being honest with somebody even when that backfires in

your face it did that to me this week actually but i think you can only go somebody if you haven't actually met them like so i feel like if you've been talking to someone online or something and then it just fades don't write back that's fine whatever i'm i'm totally just taking the piss guys don't ghost people it's bad behavior also the fact that he's part of your friendship group really really not going to work out very well for you I think there's nothing like a bit of honesty just let him know that you know you you enjoyed meeting him he seems like a great guy you wish him well in his dating life but he's not your penguin and I think that that's okay I don't think you owe someone anything after one date and if you do go to the the full extent of even

giving him some semi-explanation. Don't go too into detail because, you know, you don't have to tell him why you don't think you guys are a perfect match, but you can just kind of be like, you seem like a great guy, but you're not my guy. And I wish you well in your dating venture. No, not I wish you well, but it's like, I'm never going to see you again. She's going to see him at the pub trivia tomorrow night. No, I think you need, I'm big on the honesty, but I think you need to keep it quite like low key and lighthearted because the second you make something a big deal, it becomes a big deal and he'll think it's a big deal and it gets all crazy. I think you just need to be like, Hey, I had a

really fun time. I think we're better off as friends though. And I think that that's like a polite and absolutely acceptable way of doing it. I mean, if you guys have only been on one date, you truly don't owe him anything. If you have slept together and promised him marriage, then maybe you might need to give him a bit more of an explanation, but let's assume that this has been like dinner meeting, like a nice time, but there was no further commitment sort of put into it I think it's totally fine just to be upfront and honest yeah and I think it's something at the end like this is what I would do guys I'd be like hey had such a great time last night I think we're better off as friends though hope that's cool catch you soon bye I'd say catch you soon I'd sign off

with a like I'll see you soon or you know your group is going to see each other soon so I'll be like catch you at whatever catch on Saturday and call him mate that's a really good way to put the nail in the coffin and you know the best part just write m and then the number eight mate that's what i do go full bogan on his ass and yeah look i think i think that this is an easy one i don't think you need to over dramatize it he's not going to be so heartbroken if it was just one date i think sometimes we really like build ourselves up a bit and we're almost like oh i don't want to let someone down because i'm so amazing and they're going to be so hurt if i tell them i don't want to see them again most people take it pretty well after one date even if he like did want to see you

again and romantically because he had a really great time after one date it's not you're not cutting his legs off at the knees he'll be like oh that's a shame like totally I felt that but like that's cool yeah I'll see you Saturday like he's not gonna bleed to death guys that's a good thing let's get to question number two I reckon we wrap that I think we sort of just answer question two but let's just touch on it quickly question two believe it or not is is it rude to ghost a guy you've been chatting with for a short time if you haven't met him or is it sort of expected these days that people just ghost okay i think if you haven't met a guy and you've only been chatting for a little while and then you go silent it's fine like it's not necessary to bundle every

single thing up and put it into a nice little box and give every single person an explanation yes it's a bit inconvenient and yes it can like leave some people hanging but i don't think it's I don't think you really owe that person anything if you've only just been texting. It's such a non-committal gray area that you're still in in your relationship. Like you don't have to kind of go through and be like, hey, look, I'm actually at this point in my life and I just, you don't have to. I agree. But the only time I would say it's not okay is, and this has happened to me in the past

before, is if you haven't met, sure, but you've been texting and you've organized to meet. yeah like don't just not show up and then ghost don't turn into casper when you're supposed to be at the bucket list at 2 p.m that's a terrible idea at least cancel no not even that but more like hey so maybe we let's say say you haven't locked it in right but what are you doing it's tuesday okay what are you doing this weekend should we catch up yeah cool let's catch up talk towards the weekend then if someone's like hey we still catching up i know it's so bad i'm trying to ignore it and then if someone's like so friday comes and you're like hey are we still catching up because whether or not you have booked a time and a place in your head and in their head

you've got that locked in that you're going to meet each other so I just feel like if you've done something like that you need to be honest and be like hey I don't think we should meet up this weekend anymore I'm not in the right place or um yeah and I'm I something's come up or whatever just don't totally agree and I do like don't get me wrong I I do think that there is a nicer way I do think that you can send them a text message and or reply back to them and say look something's changed in my life and i'm not interested in pursuing this anymore you can totally do that and that's probably the absolute nicest version but i i also think that you don't owe someone anything if you've never met them and you haven't made any commitments and you haven't planned

anything you've just been like sending a few text messages back and forth like you're such a blip on their life radar that why is that so funny it's funny because i just feel like if someone has referred to me as just a little blip i'd be shattered she's just a blip on your radar dude just a blip just a blip just goes to do just great how did i ever get a relationship that's the real question we should be asking each other and i can't yeah i think i yeah i'm still baffled i'd just baby trap him i also love that um a lot of people did write in saying that you and i the real love story from the bachelor sorry matt but i just loved that part that we're the real love story yeah we got a few messages that why you always rock up to the podcast studio not wearing

any pants they're bike pants they're very small i can't wear pants like that anymore i feel very unsupported oh my god stop it britney they're riding up it's a lot actually guys they're three-quarter length if you watch my stories or anything you'll see that i don't wear booty shorts but they're three-quarter it's just that i'm really quarters of what three-quarters of an inch there's not three-quarters of a short in that short yes there are i mean i'm not short shaming you or anything but hang on look at look at them i'm standing up guys hang on oh hang on you've got to talk into the microphone still okay brit's brit's now trying to prove to me that her shorts are long enough where they are above my knee yes they're they're fine when

you pull them down but when you sit down my point proven mom is feeling very violated over here okay continue so anyway long story yeah it's fine to ghost if you haven't if you're not like deep in convo and you haven't met them and you haven't agreed to a date if you're just like talking like hey you look hot how's your weekend and then you can't bother to reply like whatever that's okay and also maybe that is not going to be popular opinion because i'm sure there are some people out there who that has happened to and it and you know they were very hopeful that they were going to meet the person and it hurt their feelings more so than what they expected but i i i know that that's not a fair situation to be in but i'm still going to stand by the

the fact that you don't owe someone anything if you haven't gone down the path of actually meeting them of actually making any commitments of that conversation not progressing into anything bigger than just you know a very trivial hello you know what do you do for a job you know what are you looking for in a partner like very top line conversation I really think that that there is a big difference between what ghosting is ghosting really only happens when you've made some commitment to that person and then you disappear from their life yeah there are definitely Levels of ghosting. It's like, otherwise, like, did I ghost the woman who served me at Kmart earlier today?

Because I'm never going to see her again, but we spoke. Laura, that is a terrible example. I think people have come here for my advice and it was great. That one, that was a terrible example. I know what you mean. There's levels of ghosting, 100%. Like, we've had people write in and we'll talk about it later, but people that have said, like, they've woken up in their relationship of three years and their partner's gone.

That is ghosting. Like, that's just arsehole-ism. that is i mean yes i'd made that word up but it's it's arsehole ism it's not ghosting like we are creating a new hashtag i just think our arsehole ism i mean it's literally come to me now on the spot it's just when someone's such an arsehole it's like they suffer from alcohol is it when they've had one too many arseholes or they are one i just think they are just one big giant arsehole so like an alcoholic an arseholic yeah arseholics anonymous but let's cook this is like one step down from a fuck boy it's just an arseholic yeah i'm down for it it also sounds

like someone who's got a really big butt fetish not with a booty let's get to uh the next question hey okay so to that last writer um yeah don't write back to him next question okay um i quite like this one but this is a difficult one hey ladies do you have any tips for how to assimilate back into normal life and dating life after returning from long periods of travel. I have been traveling for five months in Latin America, but I'm heading home in less than one week and I'm feeling really uncomfortable about going back to normal life. It's so easy to meet amazing friends and have beautiful fleeting romances while overseas. The thought of going back to normal life when nothing has changed makes me really sad. Do you have any tips on how to make

this easy when you get home. Thanks so much. I love you. Okay. So dear listener, you're rubbing it in. I don't feel sorry for you. You poor thing that you had to travel for five months and have beautiful fleeting romances. Do you know what? You should come and hang out with me because I don't do anything anymore. Go and hang out with someone who's got a kid and then normal life will probably seem great. No, I say I can feel for you here. I actually remember this exact feeling and this is it's a real thing when I came back from like my three-year trip I normal life and back life back in Australia was really hard and I don't mean that as in like oh woe is me it's just all of a sudden you've just had this magical life for three months and you've been on this constant high and you're

meeting new people and the stress is gone and your care factor is gone you fall in love in like these crazy places with people that you would never normally fall in love with because your Inhibitions are open and you're just in an amazing place and then you come back to a busy city and real problems and money problems and mortgages and getting a job and drama in your friend's life, drama in, you know, it's like all of a sudden. Just real life.

It hits you like a bus, like a double-decker bus from London. Oh, my God, because you went to London. It was so great. You're always such a bitch. You're travelling. Oh, my God. Do you know why? because I'm, I'm like jealous. Let's just call a spade a spade because I want to go traveling and

be uninhibited. Yeah. It's, I'm just bitter and twisted and old now, guys. I think the best thing to do is like, you're going to have to come home one day. You're going to have to do it one day, but you just need to make sure you're doing things in your life that you actually still enjoy. Don't go and get a job that you hate because all you're going to think is why aren't I back overseas. I do think as well when you come back from a big travel trip and like taking this seriously now like you you kind of have to prepare yourself for the fact that there is going to be a come down from it because normal life can't be or isn't normally you know this constant exciting new adventure new stimulus new experiences not every day anyway like there is some sort of

constant normality that has to come back to play so I think like allow yourself to be a little bit sad about the fact that you're back and it doesn't set in straight away because the weird thing that happens is like you go traveling you have an amazing time you come back you're so excited to see all your friends and your family and like everything's new again for a little while and it's about at about like week three where you go oh what now yeah I hate my life is this life but you don't hate your life your life is amazing there's so many amazing things that you can be doing in a home base where you set your roots up and I think that you just have to focus on the next big adventure which is what does life look like where you lay down your roots um meeting a

partner that you can have a more long-term relationship with or or making friends in an area where you've got your single ladies crew that is also really exciting the fact that you can have some stability around you you have to switch your focus a little bit and kind of switch your mindset a little bit as well when i came back i came back it's funny you said three week the three week mark i came back for three weeks and i was like fuck this booked a trip went to Asia. Do you know what not to do? Don't come back and talk to everyone about how amazing India is because you're so enlightened. No one cares. Oh, see, I'm opposite. You just had the most amazing thing of your life. I reckon you can tell whoever the hell you want. That's because you're

a travel person and you do it all the time. And I'm always like Brittany and then my eyes glaze over and I'm like. But you've got to remember too, like when you talk, okay, this is what I, this is what I think about this. When you've just been traveling for three years and you come back and you hang out with your girlfriends and you're just talking about your life you literally your life has been you've got nothing else to say but when I was in London it's not like when I was in London but it's like I literally that that's where I was like I'm not bragging like that's where I was last week so I've got like that's where my story is but we all have a friend who like goes to Europe for summer holidays and comes back and it's like yeah my tan's from Europe I mean I went

to the Amalfi Coast and it was beautiful have you had olive oil on the Amalfi Coast and you're like what are you even saying no yes i've had olive oil i went to toddy's last week shut up god i look i just feel i do feel you because it's going to be tough but my advice for you in terms of getting back into the dating world because this is what she asked um that is tough too and you know what everyone everyone is online now there's not really any way to get back into it other than just download the app totally i'm not i think i'm not against online dating i think online dating is such a great way of meeting people. Also, there's Bumble Friends now.

I don't, don't, I've never used it, but I mean, it's a real thing, right? Like if you're in a new to an area, I don't think there's any qualms with like putting yourself out there digitally to meet people and not just using it as like a hookup tool, but to be like, hey, I need to, I need to make some friends.

Absolutely. And I remember when, how long ago was it? Eight years ago when Tinder came in, was it? I don't know. That's a stab. Yeah, thereabouts. I remember when Tinder came in and there was this like negative connotation

to it I remember like my phone would be at a table at a restaurant with friends and a tinder notification would come up and I'd nearly throw it across the room I was like I'm trying to hide it yeah because you're like people will like you're a pariah because you're one of those weird people that have an online dating profile and now it's like you're weird if you don't have one now my phone goes off and I was like ladies five new matches I'm like check them out ladies going out tonight so like it's completely changed every second I'm literally I think I have three I'm on three dating apps. I thought you were about to say, I have three notifications right now. Her phone just lit up and it's pretty much just Tinder firing. But also I think coming back from

like a big trip where you've, you know, had a lot of new experiences and you've met a lot of new people. One of the things that traveling does do for you is that it allows you to sort of be better at making conversations with people you don't know, because you're forced into situations where every day you're talking to people that you don't know because you don't have your normal crew around you so girlfriend use those transferable skills and talk to some people who you don't know in an area where you now live and you'll make friends through that way as well like I actually one of my really great friends I was working at my store back when I used to have a pop-up in Westfield and she was American and we she started chatting to me in the shop and we just got on

really well and she was like look I don't have any friends here do you reckon you want to come out for a drink one night and I was like sure and now we became really good friends and that's you can meet people in so many diverse and different situations you just have to be open to making conversations with new people i agree the other thing that i recommend is i think everybody should do this all the time even if you get one little holiday a year book it so you've got something to look forward to like make your choice of where you want to go researcher lock it in and then you've got something to look forward to and work towards so like i don't feel like you need to be like oh my trip's over i'm depressed i'm going back to work i'm never dating again jump online

book yourself a trip maybe do a new hobby and meet some new friends but like you of course your life's not going to be as good as when you were hiking Machu Picchu but but it can be I think it can be a different level I think it's just things are great they just can be different that's all so I don't think that it has to be one or the other at all I think that you know if you look at it as though oh I'm at home and this is crap then yeah it's going to be crap but if you start looking for things that are really fulfilling where you lay your roots down then you you'll have you'll be happy here as well i think that it's your perspective on this whole situation it's actually one of the reasons lol did you just say lol before you even said what was funny

do you know what matt said today please say loladurby he said lolacosta yes i love it and then i told him he needed to go sit outside by himself in the rain laura you're the only one not getting on board with this lolcano lolacosta yeah loladurby right you ride the lolacosta i just I can't, I, that's what you do. You're like, hang on, I'm just riding the rollercoaster, BRB. I don't want to ride a rollercoaster. You know what? We are going to get you there.

One day it's going to, you're going to, it's going to slip out. Do you think I just hate fun? What is it? What's wrong with me? When did I become such a grumpy old lady? Let me tell you what I lolled at before I told you the story. Don't you ever do that? Actually, you find something really funny in your mind and you can't even get it out.

You just start laughing. That's why I do it all the time alone. when i got back from traveling it's i attribute that to why i went on the bachelor that's what made me apply on the bachelor because i had had this high and this adventure for three years and i got back and i was like oh my god kill me what am i going to do that is going to be so different and out there on that level and i was like i know like this i'll apply for the bachelor that was why there's your advice from britney just apply for the bachelor yeah perfect you too could be as happy as me perfect number question number four next question i'm really cracking myself

up today okay so i'm gonna read this question the next question says hey gal pals hi hey i'm needing some advice in regards to toxic bosses and micromanaging this is my first job after uni and my boss is a little bit crazy i'm not sure whether to stick it out a bit longer as the job itself isn't that bad but the boss can make it totally unbearable if you have any experience in something like this i would love to hear your stories help with an a this is actually um a really hard one but there is a name for this actually being an adult it's called life having a job no this is hard um yes i have been in that situation before you're always going to come across people and jobs where you might love the job but you don't like the boss um and i think

you unless it's to the point of like harassment bullying and abuse then sure report them there are so many unions for that there are always there's always someone you can go to do all that and leave 100 no environment should ever be like that um i've been in an environment before where i've reported i've reported bullying so i think if an environment is making you feel that uncomfortable leave for sure but also know that sometimes bosses they have their own pressures and their own things that they need to meet um and they might sometimes put a bit of pressure on you and like they need you to sort of be top of your game so yeah so i'm going to play a little bit of devil devil's advocate with this one as somebody who employs staff yeah you're a boss and

i yeah i manage staff and then i've been in a situation where i have taken on staff straight out of uni and people who haven't necessarily worked in the industry before. And the thing that can sometimes be frustrating is that, and I know that there are 100% people out there who do micromanage to a point where it actually inhibits someone from doing their job properly and it causes a lot of stress. But there are also situations where a manager feels like they need to micromanage or they need to manage you in a way because they don't know that you're able to do the job yet. And you're still in your probation period. So they need to also grow with you and know that they have the confidence in you that they can then go, okay, no, I know that this person

is a freaking gun and I don't need to worry about them. But the thing is, is if you make a mistake in your role, a big mistake, because the manager gave you too much autonomy, then that then falls on them. That mistake doesn't fall on you because you're the junior. So I do think sometimes we have to have a little bit of give and take here. If your manager is super toxic and they micromanage you to a point where you can't do your job properly, then that is a real issue. And I think if you love the job, but you don't love working with them, then you do kind of have to try and compartmentalize things a little bit and go, I'm going to take this with a grain of salt and only like take on board half of what they're doing and half of what they're saying. But I think if you

can try and see things from their perspective a little bit then maybe maybe maybe i'm wrong but maybe you might be able to grow in the role especially if you're new to this occupation and you're new to this industry and it's your first job out of uni so as a boss how would you react or would you be open to an employee like this girl coming to you and having an open conversation being like i feel like um you know um you micromanage if she said do you feel like i feel like you're micromanaging me. I'd love to take on a bit more responsibility. Can you try and give me that freedom to show you I can do it? Like what, how would you respond if she came to you and just sort of was open about it? One of my staff came to me and said, I feel like you're

micromanaging me. So I think for me, if somebody came to me and told me that I was micromanaging them, firstly, I would want to know like how long they've been working for me for. If they've only been working for me for a really short period of time, then I would, my reaction would be, well, I don't know that you can do this job yet. So yes, I am hovering a little bit because I need to make sure that you're across this and also that you're being supported and you're, I'm supporting you in a way that makes you feel like you're not just being made to do things that are outside your skillset. If you, if you did come to me and say that you weren't happy and that you needed to have some autonomy, I think I would offer that as a boss and I would give a bit more

autonomy, but I would still check your work because I need to, I need to know that what's going out and what is representing from my brand is correct. And when you're in a junior role, your, your work is always going to be checked by a manager. So I kind of, it depends on, it depends on the level of micromanagement, which we don't know. We can only take one side of this story, but I, I do think that there is no harm in at some point in the future. If you still feel like this, say three months down the track, having a conversation with your boss. But if you've only been there for a very short period of time and you're still in your probation period and you're still getting to know the job, then I think you just need to chill out. I would say don't, I'm

going to say to this girl, don't run at the first taste of something not going your way and something being really hard and difficult and uncomfortable. Like you need to work through that because that is going to happen a lot in your life. Totally. I think that every single person in their employment has worked with or for someone that has been challenging and that they don't enjoy working with or for, but you, if you enjoy the job and genuinely enjoy the job and you enjoy the company, then I think that you can, you, it's a skill to learn, to manage other people. And it's something that you will get better at the more that you work in these environments. So you can use this and kind of use this experience and flip this experience and better manage them

almost in return. Not necessarily that you're going to turn around to your boss and be like, well actually this is how I think it should be done but that you know you take on board the parts of it that criticism that's actually constructive and things that aren't constructive like you have to learn the skill of blocking that out as well for you know to a certain degree I think yeah and for me this answer is based on if you love your job but dislike your boss but if you dislike your job and your boss I'm gonna say start looking for a new job get the hell out of there A hundred percent. If you hate your job and you hate your boss.

And you hate every second of your life. Do not stay. Yeah. Because life is too short. And unless you are desperate for the money, you can always find something else. Bye. Bye. Okay.

What's the next question? Oh, okay. We have another question. So this listener has written in and said, I am getting married in November this year and have fallen pregnant not long after we booked our wedding date. Our baby will be eight weeks old at the wedding. Congratulations. cute congrats i don't know what to do whether i should postpone the wedding or just get on with

it what is life like with an eight week old baby and how do you think i'd feel eight weeks postpartum i need advice i was gonna say britney this is a question for you you need to kick this one off laura because you have a baby and are planning a wedding i guess well you're supposed to be planning a wedding but i don't think you have oh babe if you want advice from me i am eight months postpartum and i am too tired to get married she's never gonna get married to give positive advice. This is a really hard one. I understand how difficult and how upsetting it must feel to have to push things out, especially once you've made the decision to confirm and book in things and pay deposits and everything else. And also just get excited. In life, I think it's

probably best to prepare yourself for the worst situation because you can only then be pleasantly surprised. If you are putting so much pressure on yourself when you already are going to have so much pressure on yourself with having a baby and you actually don't know how you're going to respond to it. You may be perfect. You may feel amazing at eight weeks. You may feel horrible. You may have not slept. You may have a baby with colic. There's such a spectrum in between that if I was you, I don't think I would put more pressure on top of myself if it's possible to push your wedding out. Yes, you may lose some money or a deposit. And I know that that's a huge thing to think about, but I personally would not have been ready at eight weeks postpartum to

have a wedding unless the wedding was very low key. But even then I barely could leave the house until six weeks postpartum, let alone to go and have a wedding. I think it's putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself, but at the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you. And if you think that you're super positive about this and you think that you can cope, every single person is different my question is why why put that pressure on yourself if you don't need to i've been trying to think about this obviously i don't i haven't had a child i don't know what it's like obviously i'm around them a lot i have nieces and nephews and i've seen marley i've got i've got a lot of kids in my life but it's very very different to having one of your own and

recovering and going through that but i guess what i want to ask you is it's hard for us to give you like our best advice when we don't know all the details but i want you to have a think about i guess a how much you might lose like i don't know how much you've paid if you were going to lose like 50 and you money might not be free flowing in your family then if you think that that's a really really important issue for you and you think that you're happy to go ahead otherwise do it people don't recover after eight weeks do they well i mean it depends on what sort of pregnancy you have but also i mean you don't also don't know necessarily how you're going to feel about leaving your baby at eight weeks old like maybe you don't you don't because some some

people are totally fine with it and getting a babysitter and and that is not a problem but other people don't feel so comfortable with it and you will be feeding if you're breastfeeding and that's what you've decided upon you'll be breastfeeding every sort of three to four hours at eight weeks old so that will also disrupt your night or your day quite a bit as well it's just there's lots to think about and having a baby and being at eight weeks is still in the thick of a really challenging time. And I, I, this is only my personal advice and this is only from my own experiences. And I'm sure every single person is different, but the spectrum is, is vast and wide, but I, I would not have been able to do that. And I wouldn't have enjoyed the day as much as I think

I could have enjoyed the day if the possibility is to extend it. So my advice is weigh up the pros and cons of this situation. And if the pros outweigh the cons or the, you know, your positivity towards it outweighs the fear then have your wedding on that day but if it doesn't then push it back it's it's a day you know you you have your whole lives together maybe this is a 200 person wedding big greek three-day event or maybe this is just literally a marriage a celebration of love it's just you guys with your family your baby can be there the whole time it's not a big thing then like go for it but i think it's really hard for us especially me without a child but i think you need to what laura said just write two lists right why it's important for you to do it that day and

why you want to do it that day and your feelings about it is this like making you anxious and overwhelmed because you'll be thinking about your whole pregnancy totally like your whole pregnancy you're going to be stressed and and worrying about it and then write another list on reasons like why it can't be pushed back two months four months six months um but bloody difficult question but congrats on the pregnancy congratulations you're having a baby babies are great as much as i talk smack about how tired i am i have never been happier in my life you only have to look at miley and you like i don't mean you i mean me but like you just get a huge smile on your face children uh they're trying and testing but like oh my god they're so cute they bring you so much

happiness they're horrible and the best thing that's ever happened to you all in the one thing it's very, very perplexing. Very perplexing. What a conundrum. Do we have any more questions or is that us? I think that's us. That's a pretty solid one. Hot, hard and ready. Sorry. Yeah, guys, this is just our snappy little episode where we answer your questions. So to everyone who has slid into our DMs this week, thank you so much for all of your hard hitting questions. They were pretty easy peasy this week, I find. I actually enjoyed these ones, something a bit outside the box. They weren't quite as dark. Sometimes we get some really, really big life questions we've actually received a lot of questions in the last day so they will go

into next week's episode and some of those are far heavier and more real life relationship stuff that really you know counts so guys we actually do have some exciting guests coming in and just imagine you could ask the most unfiltered ridiculous deep darkest sexual most sordid questions possible like the things that we are not going to answer because it'll end up in daily mail these ladies will answer so and they're funny absolutely talk about anal whatever you like guys nothing is off limits yeah nothing is off limits at all so we want you to write in and you'll always be anonymous but write in as anything you want yes and we will answer your deep dark and dirty questions. I'm excited for it, actually. It's going to be a good episode. I'm very excited

for it too. Guys, thank you so much to everybody who has written in. As we always say, it is such a privilege that you guys trust us with your questions and with the life hurdles that you're facing. All of these things are things that we can relate to or that we have experienced in the past. And we just want you to know that you are not alone and you are not weird. And all of us go through this sort of stuff together at different points. We also really love seeing you guys share it list that you're listening to us like a lot of you have been tagging us listening on your walks or going running or on like on an airplane and we love seeing that yeah for everybody who has been sharing the love on instagram you are freaking legends and we love

you the most yeah it makes us so happy it really does and that's because like we bring you this content we do all of this for free and this content is free for you and it's just because we love we love creating this and we love you know being a part of this little community and we love you guys sending us your ridiculous memes and your photos and your messages and we do our absolute best to read every single one and yes it may take us a little bit of time to get back to you when you do message us but we really try our absolute best to write back to you guys and so if you have a question for next week's ep slide into our dms at life uncut podcast and we will add it to the list baby i do want to tell you too because it's really important that you know

sometimes like it is lit i can't explain it it's a full-time job to um read the messages that come in like i will clear an inbox of a hundred and in an hour it's full um but we i want you to know that i might not have gotten back to you yet but i have read it like i we read them all but often i can't respond at that minute um but i want you to know that they're being read you guys are being heard and we appreciate every single one so guys if you have enjoyed this episode please subscribe because that is what helps us grow hit five stars leave a review and share the love because we love love and send in those sexy questions We'll be right back.