Life Uncut - 7 Rounds Of IVF, One Facebook Post & Our Discussion Group's First Baby. Uncut with Deb

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

Today’s episode is such a special one. You would often hear us banging on about how good the community of our life uncut discussion group is, but the story that you’re about to hear might not only make your week but also be the best example of that community we could ever imagine.  Deb has been a part of our discussion group since 2022. Back in December 2023, one of our lifers, Deb, posted in the discussion group: she was 35, single, and had just found out her egg count was below the low range. After seven rounds of IVF and still empty handed, she was asking if anyone would consider donating eggs or embryos to help her become a mum. The post got 375 likes and an outpouring of women offering to help. Today we're sitting down with Deb and her eight-month-old daughter Poppy, who exists because of an embryo donation from another lifer. We talk about the shock of her AMH results, the toll of seven rounds of IVF, finding the "Single Mums By Choice" community, why she chose the Life Uncut discussion group over dedicated donor sites, what it was like juggling multiple potential donors, meeting Poppy's donor family for the first time, and how she plans to talk to Poppy about where she came from. It's a full-circle story about generosity, community and one incredible, hard-won miracle. TIMESTAMPS  0:00 Intro & Deb's Christmas miracle Facebook post 2:15 The AMH shock at age 35 4:06 Finding a sperm donor ("sperm tinder") 4:27 7 rounds of IVF 8:47 Letting go of having a genetic baby 9:34 Finding the "Single Mums By Choice" community 13:50 Posting in the Life Uncut discussion group 21:32 Why the first donor didn't work out 22:21 The embryo transfer that finally worked 24:16 Meeting Poppy's donor family 28:15 How she'll tell Poppy her story one day 30:22 The wild coincidence behind Poppy's name 31:49 What motherhood alone has really been like 34:55 Deb's advice for anyone in the trenches of IVF Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura. And today's episode we are absolutely thrilled to be bringing you. You probably have heard us bang on about our lifer community over the years since we started the last six years. We always say we have the best Life Uncut community. We have the best lifers. If you're not in the discussion group yet on Facebook. That is where all the goodness goes down. And today we're bringing you a story from one of our very own lifers. Well, it's actually two lifers, but we're doing one half of it today. It's a story from one of our lifers named Deb. Now I want to read you a post that Deb put in our discussion group back in December, 2023. Deb's been a part

of our group since 2022, but on the 19th of December, Deb wrote, I'm looking for a Christmas miracle. Last year at age 35 and single I did an egg reserve test randomly and found my egg count below the low range 0.3. I have dreamt my whole life of being a mum and suddenly that dream has become far out of reach. Fast forward one and a half years and seven rounds of IVF and I'm still empty-handed. I'm looking for someone who would donate me some of their precious eggs or leftover embryos to help me fulfill a lifelong dream wishing everyone a merry christmas now that post immediately got 375 likes a load of comments and unbelievably so many people stepped forward to say that they would donate eggs and even embryos and that is how we're talking to deb today with

her baby poppy in the background poppy has come from an embryo donation from another lifer and the warmth and joy that that brings me knowing that our community literally gave you a life is absolutely everything to me. Deb, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I love like for anyone who can hear like little taps, Poppy was just asleep in the cot. Like she's there. She's gorgeous. She's eight months old. And now I think she's on the floor. What's she chasing around? She's playing with my water bottle currently, but I'm sure she'll get into the computer court at some point. I want to kind of kick this off by better understanding

what it was that made you want to write that into the discussion group to start with because I can only imagine that you had gotten to a place or with everything that you'd been through that maybe that was a last ditch but I think you know it's a pretty vulnerable thing to put out there in the world and to ask strangers for. Yeah so originally I had randomly had my AMH checked and the range is 1 to 53 depending on your sort of fertility age generally and when I got my test results back it was below the low limit at age 35 which was such a surprise to me because I had a sister at 40 she got married and had a baby like that a young sister who'd already popped out four kids yeah I just didn't really think it was going to be an issue for me and I'd never really even thought

of the fact that you know like obviously you know time is ticking on but I didn't think I really need to hurry up and so the number was like a huge shock and to not just to have that low but like below the low limit when I went to see the fertility specialist in my first appointment he was like this is going to be really hard yeah I can't imagine what seven rounds of IVF then does like to that feeling of exhaustion and despair and yeah so I started originally obviously like the first appointment he said if you want to have your own genetic baby you need to start collecting eggs but not just collect your eggs you need to make them embryos because we know that eggs when you freeze them they don't have a great sort of thawing rate and he was like it's

going to be hard to collect your eggs anyway so we need to immediately if you if this is what you want to do you need to make them embryos so of course then I was like I was like oh my gosh now I like need to need to find some sperm like it was huge where do you just go and find sperm so there is actually an app for it and you swipe left and you swipe right depending on what you're interested in sperm tinder yeah it is so yeah i went on the journey of trying to collect my eggs and it was difficult the first two rounds of high the highest dose hormones my ovaries had no response at all not one single follicle and so third and fourth rounds i i got three to five follicles but as you know brit doing ivf so you do all your hormones and part way through your

cycle you go in you have your internal ultrasound they look for follicles and they measure the size of them to see whether the egg inside them will be healthy or mature you know those sorts of things so they can collect eggs in follicles but if the follicles the eggs aren't necessarily going to be good yeah the eggs you might be able to collect eggs but then they're not viable so it might seem like you're getting a lot more than what you actually end up with so my third and fourth round I had three to five eggs collected but either not good at all or they didn't fertilize the sperm so I decided to move doctors just to see if a different protocol would help I went to a new fertility doctor just to try a different round of hormones

and something different just to see if it would make any difference and I got one follicle and one egg and we froze it because interestingly even though you pay for the doing a sperm you can't transfer it between companies and it was a different company so considering I'd pay all this money for sperm I had to change companies again so I froze my egg transferred it to another company and then saw a new doctor and did my sixth round where I got another one follicle and one egg and this time I decided I'd thaw the frozen egg and see if I could fertilize both and one of them fertilized and I got a grade AA embryo and then five days later I had it transferred but it didn't stick oh damn it's like so hard because you just have to start all over

again yeah and you've already you know like you know every single round takes so much out of you there's so so much you have to do so much you have to follow and there's so much hope pegged in one you know one egg for me and anyway and so for the seventh round I got two follicles so I went in this these last the sixth and seventh round I used the green whistle instead of having a full general anesthetic so you're awake while they're putting the needle in you to extract the follicle fluid and then they take it to this you know the scientist who then looks for eggs so you're awake the whole time and the like the medicine from the green whistle passes very quickly so you recover super fast anyway the doctor came out and said there were no eggs inside

I'm so sorry and I know you've got your like happy ending now in a different version to what you imagined but I can't imagine the disappointment you have felt after and what you just said it's like every round is so much hope you don't realize how much you're thinking about it and you're saying this is going to be the one and you've done everything right and everything you could possibly do was that the moment that you thought okay I'm I'm done trying this I've got to try I've got to go down a different avenue so there was one other thing the doctor and I talked about is you can do there's like trials happening to help stimulate ovary regeneration so you can use your own you get you get a blood sample they spin it out and they get the platelet rich plasma from

your own blood and they can put it in different places so their experimenting was like putting it into a uterus that is miscarrying a lot or you can put it into the ovary and hope that it might regenerate and help produce healthy eggs but it's just a trial and the doctor that I saw he doesn't do that and he had a friend in Sydney who could do it but I wasn't going to travel interstate like there were so many maybes that it just wasn't really an option for me and so I felt like it wasn't the end of the road but it was the end of the road for my genetic baby like I felt like I'd tried I think one of the things that's the most remarkable about your perseverance is that you have done all of this on your own you know so many people when they think

about having kids they do it partnered and I think it takes an incredible amount of certainty around wanting to become a mom to make the decision I'm going to do this regardless of whether I have a partner to show up and be a second parent in this was there ever a time you know that you or like I guess in your decision making around starting and embarking this journey when did you get to a point where you were like I'm not waiting for a partner I'm going to do this on my own? I think actually when I needed to find the sperm to make embryos for my eggs that I was hopefully collecting I had to do a counselling session with an IVF counsellor and she talked about the single mums by choice group that there is so there's a Facebook group of over 4,000 women

in Australia and New Zealand who have chosen to have babies on their own and it's this amazing support group of people at all different stages, people who are wondering if they should be on their own, people who already have, you know, like primary age children on their own, everything in between and they send out questions, you know, like all type of questions. Some people will post pictures of like early pregnancy tests after they've had their embryo transfer trying to figure out is this pregnant does anyone think

this is pregnant you know like it's a huge support group for mums who are choosing to do it on their own and once I hopped onto that and read a bunch of posts and saw like you know all these women who are choosing to do it on their own I just thought like I'm not waiting around I've wanted a baby my whole life I'm already I was like 36 37 I decided I wasn't gonna wait any longer like I've lived a good life you know like I've been busy doing lots of other things in life I wasn't sitting around waiting for a man just to fall in my hand like there wasn't anyone around it wasn't going to happen naturally so like why wait any longer I wanted to have a baby and I actually you could do it did you feel excited by that was there grief involved with that like that decision

making I mean it sounds like it was very absolute for you but what was the emotions that were attached to that yeah I mean my dream was as a kid was to find a husband get married at you know 21 which seems ridiculous now I I was like that too when I was young I was like I'm gonna be married young and have four kids by 25 and I'm 38 and I'm like am I too young I'm just a baby still you know I also thought yeah I'll start having kids at 25 you know much the same as my mum did but life did not work out like that and I had dreams of having my life like that but then I also never dreamt that I'd go to Africa and work there for like over six years either and that was an amazing experience so you just sort of got to take life as it comes I think and not get fixated

on what you wanted to happen. And you were working in Africa as a nurse, is that right? Yeah, on a surgical hospital ship. Yeah. Okay, so we're at the point now where you've made the decision to go it alone and for you biologically IVF hadn't worked. Were there any other stops on your journey to finding an embryo and egg donation or was Life Uncut Discussion Group the first place

that you went to? Because usually, I must say, usually it's dress advice or like holiday advice I think you were probably one of the first people we'd seen to come and say hey like does anyone want to give me an embryo it's a it's a really big thing to try and put out there publicly what was your first port of call there's a facebook group called egg donation australia and I think there's a website associated so if you want to apply for an egg donor you have to like there's all these instructions on what you have to do and people basically go on there and advertise themselves and I looked at the instructions and I looked at the website and

there were so many couples asking for it and you know like beautiful stories of people who are desperate to have a first child or a second child and I just thought like it's gonna get lost and And I actually don't know how many people like, I don't think there's women going onto those websites being like, oh yeah, I'll donate my eggs. You know, like it's not really, it's not the most public of places. I know what you mean, Deb. It's kind of like the people who are wanting it and longing for it are the ones going on those sites.

But the people who maybe have something that they can give aren't the people in the trenches on those sites. You know, they're not, you won't find them there because they are not seeking it out. Well, it's not as common to wake up and say, I really want to donate my eggs. I'll actively go and look for a site. Of course that would happen, but you would be the minority. Yeah, exactly.

And to donate your eggs, it's a huge deal. Like, you know how much it takes to go and do a full cycle. It's not something you're just like, I'll do it tomorrow. Yeah, it's a huge ask. So you thought, okay, what other group do I know that has a big bunch of women in there? Life on cut. well I think I've been on in the discussion group for a while and I just thought there's so many

amazing people in there already you know so many people that help each other out whether it's this is where you can find this outfit or this looks great on you or relationship advice and I just thought I literally have nothing to lose yeah so I'll just go for it and hope that someone will see it and you know like it's also such a huge pool of people maybe someone will be able to help me out and you had I'm just trying to find the details again but it was I think 18 different people had offered eggs 18 yeah 18 different women had offered their eggs in that group and then you had had embryo offers on top of that did that surprise you because I understand you thought I've got nothing to lose I'm just going to put it out there but were you

actually expecting that to come through no no not at all I was like so shocked and so overwhelmed with gratitude yeah I was like this is amazing and then obviously so many people wishing me luck and yeah it was just beautiful you know it's also one of those things where you think oh okay oh it's so nice people have said they're gonna do this but there's a lot of stages between commenting on someone's Facebook post in a discussion group to actually following that journey to a place of, you know, there being a baby in the world. Like there's so many steps that follow that.

What did that look like for you? So you have 18 people who have come forward. Like also props to the lifers. You guys are the fucking best. Genuinely the best. Coming through with the goods. But like what did that then look like for you, Deb? Did you reach out to each of these people?

Did you vet them? Like how did you kind of go through that process And how did you end up choosing who it was that was going to end up being and having the embryo that became Poppy? So I wrote out a message basically saying like, thank you so much for your very generous offer. If this is something that you're still interested in doing, could you contact me? I can't remember what else I said, but along those general lines.

And then I waited to see who sort of responded. And because there's a lot of logistics involved. they needed to meet with my fertility specialist then obviously he needed to see whether they were suitable or not and then it would have started with like all of their health checks and then eventually an IVF round and I would have needed to pay for all of that including transport and accommodation medications everything so lots of ladies who put up their hand and said yes we're over the age of 35 and that's not what the doctors prefer just because obviously the age of the eggs is a bit older. So through the beautiful ladies who responded I had to find someone who was younger

than 35 and preferably someone who was relatively close by. So there was one lady who lives a few hours away from me. We got into a deeper discussion and she actually went and saw my fertility specialist but he deemed her not suitable and so in the meantime the lovely embryo donor that Poppy came from she had contacted me and let me know that she had three embryos available and I just let her know that I was sort of talking to someone else at that stage so thank you so much I will follow through with this first one first and then if you don't mind i'll come back to you that one falls through god it's like you're dating it's like you're dating multiple people and you're like i'm like i want you know i'm seeing someone else but if it

doesn't work out i'll come back i know and i felt sort of bad but at the same time i felt really hopeful yeah you know like obviously i needed to follow through the first person but then i was like wow i've got a backup plan i mean how good is that there's something so not just incredible about the whole story but there's something that's so deeply moving about the fact that someone can be so generous to say I'll give you an embryo but also give you their time like go and see that your fertility specialist go and do all of the tests that are required like it is such an unbelievable gift and to think that so many women because of one question because of one I'm hoping that this is something if I'm going to put it out there into the world and hope for

this miracle that so many women came forward and offered that is I mean it's just remarkable it's absolutely unbelievable and it's so special I guess when you think about it too the women that were coming forward a lot of them already had frozen embryos and eggs meaning they had been in a position in some capacity where they had to go and do that like they had to freeze them so I guess there is a real relatability of I feel you I feel what it's like to want something and not necessarily be able to get it so you're also speaking to a lot of women that have that same I guess anguish and hope and desire to be a mum so much so that they had to go through the process as well yeah that's exactly right especially for the you know the donors that gave me the embryos

so when it didn't work with the first person you were speaking to how did that then conversation kick off you were like so didn't work out I'm back yeah about those three embryos talk us through what that looked like well the donor really wanted to have a chat with me and like the crazy thing is I felt like oh I've got to put my best foot forward but she and her husband were just so willing like they were basically like we've got three embryos you've asked we've said yes and then we just talked about like their fertility journey what it had looked like for them and then I talked about what my journey had looked like and it was basically like well they're there if like them wow that's so amazing and so is it do they have to then go through counseling as well

to do something like that and you have to obviously go through their clinic where their embryo is frozen no so they had to sign consent sign them over to me and then I paid for them to get transferred interstate to my fertility clinic we needed to do counseling sessions so with the same counselor I did a session they did a session and then we did a joint session together where there were questions asked like if I decided to would I give one of the embryos to someone else if I didn't want it which I had never even crossed my mind the fact that these belong to another family yeah I don't think I would ever even have thought to just randomly give it to someone else but you get to talk about those sorts of questions so that both people can be on the same page and

I guess to do there with a third party if that's not something that was comfortable to do individually. What was, if I can ask, because I know a lot of people will be thinking about it, but your first donor that came through with the embryos and then the fertility doctor deemed unsuitable, what was unsuitable about that? She had PCOS and the risk of having hypervarian stimulation syndrome with the hormones and injections is high and so we didn't want to put her own health at risk so she didn't have frozen embryos she was going to create them for you yeah fresh eggs gotcha wow oh my god even that in itself what an incredibly generous gift deb talk to me about you've got these three embryos like was it the first one that stuck

like what was that then process like once they'd been transferred to you yeah so once we did our counseling sessions and the donors both had genetic testing I had to have some blood tests and they had to do a like a test on my uterus and then I guess it was sort of once the time was right I had to had to like prepare my uterus for a transfer then we booked the date in and it got transferred and worked here she is so first embryo that is so incredible so do you keep the other two they signed all three embryos over to you it wasn't like what let's let's sign one at a time and see how it goes yeah I've got two of them in the bank wow so you could have siblings if you choose to down the track yeah yeah that's right do you think that that's something you might do

look I would love to but I'm not sure financially if it's something that I could of course especially when it's all I mean financially and also it's such a huge thing to do all on your own like it's incredible it's amazing that that the option exists but I mean one kid is one baby is so much and then I couldn't even fathom doing two children on my own but it's not even that it's two it's like if you think of the point that Debbie's at to have Poppy now that's essentially eight odd rounds of IVF treatment that you've had which is so much money that you've had to outlay to even bring her into this world do you when you sign over these embryos do you go into really thorough discussions and contracts as such I guess that takes away all

ownership from the donor and I guess I say that because I'm in a way I'm trying to relate it to an adoption of sorts when I guess a worry would be or a surrogacy even the worry would be that maybe that person at some point changes their mind and says I want some involvement now like I know that I said I didn't at the start do you go down a lane way to put protection mechanisms in place for that it was that is a really good question and it was a question of my mind in the beginning but when they sign the emperors over to me all of their rights are gone and they were happy yeah no they were more than happy the thing is though when she was born They were in a nearby city and asked if they could come and visit

and I freaked out a little bit because I didn't know this new baby super well. I didn't know myself very well as a brand new mum. And part of me thought, like, what if they see her and they're like, oh, we've made a mistake. Actually, we want her. Yeah. You know, I was just really scared that someone would be like, actually, we might take her back.

And I don't think that would be possible. I mean, but I eventually, weeks later, got the guts to, you know, message the donor and say to her, how does it make you feel to see photos of her? Do you have any regrets? Like, I just love her so much that it's hard to, I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but like, I was just, I was worried. Yeah. she was just thrilled for me and she had nothing bad to say she was like basically like I am so

delighted that you can have this baby that you've dreamed of and it's our delight to give that gift to you and so did you decide to let her see like come and visit in person or did you was that just too uncomfortable for you it wasn't uncomfortable it just it didn't quite suit just because things were like so new I was trying to figure out how to feed her and you know like yeah first time mom you don't you don't know what you're doing breastfeeding and all those different things and it wasn't that I didn't want them to see her I just needed some time to figure out who I was and who she was and for us to be a pair yeah and yeah this year when Poppy was six months old they came up for a visit and they got to meet her for the first time her and her husband and their child

who is a genetic sibling to Poppy. Of course. And it was beautiful. Poppy was happy to go straight to them for a cuddle and she laid her head down on her shoulder and like she was just so comfortable with them. It was just really beautiful. It was really, really beautiful.

And like they're such a beautiful family. They've been so giving and so generous. And honestly, like to give that sort of a gift to someone is like more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed for how do you feel you know in terms of the anxieties that you had when you very first I guess felt apprehension around it where did you get to when you were able to actually have that meet together because it seems like it would have been a really I mean very emotional but also like a very special moment yeah I think there's so many hormones that go through your body in those first few days

of the baby being born I just needed to get my head around the fact that she was truly mine like yes her genetics came from someone else but I grew her and I birthed her and she is my miracle gift and yep she looks similar to their child and she has their genetics but she's grown from me and she'll have my gestures and you know different things that I will give her myself I needed to wrap my head around that the fact that she was truly mine even though her genetics come from someone else I mean I think that's a really important message too because family looks so different to everybody and you're never going to take that away from Poppy that genetically she came from somebody else and I imagine that you'll be honest with her one day

and tell her that story but she's your child and you will be raising her and you'll be loving her and you know you're her family now that you've met the donor and the family you had that connection do you think moving forward you will keep in each other's lives and keep checking on each other do you feel in a way I don't want to say that you owe that to them because at the end of the day you made an agreement and you don't actually owe anything but I imagine morally you feel like maybe an obligation that they gave you the greatest gift you could ever have do you feel that pressure to try and maintain that relationship or do you feel like now it's like okay we've had that initial meeting and I'm so grateful and then you're both going to just move on with your

separate lives. No I think it's really important for Poppy to know essentially where she came from I think hiding that from her will not be healthy for her in the long run and I will be honest like completely honest with her as she grows up and know that like I wanted her so much that this is where your little embryo came from and these are the beautiful people who gave me that gift and I mean the fact that she has a genetic sibling I think as she grows up and is able to make decisions for herself I would like her to be able to make decisions about how much she would like to see them so I guess in my head I thought yep definitely a couple of times a year would be good to connect and then I do send like little updates poppy got a tooth or like she's crawling

around now you know different things like that or I posted a picture on Facebook the other day and the donor messaged me and was like oh my gosh we've got a picture of our son that looks just like that so like it's a really beautiful relationship and from the start they said to me we are happy to be as involved as you would like you get to call the shots there and so you know I would like it to be a really healthy friendship where Poppy can know I guess where her genetics came from but also just know these beautiful people yeah they sound like truly remark like What a remarkable family. What amazing people.

Also, I know people will roll their eyes when I say this. I'm such a universe person and I just think what are the odds you've gone into our Life Uncut discussion group, that is where Poppy was created and then Laura had a Poppy as well. Why didn't you both have Poppies? No, but I mean that's, sorry, that is the universe being like, I'm looking down on this, like this is linked. All babies that come from Life Uncut will forever now

and forever be called Poppy. No, but what are the odds? Like, it's, I mean, any name, you could have had any name in the world, both of you, and it's our first discussion group baby. I know. I was driving up the highway from home and I remember when Laura announced the name she had and I was like, like, honestly, I felt like my jaw hit the steering wheel.

I could not believe it. And I was like, seriously, how has she stolen the name I have for my baby? It's my time to shine. Before I even have my baby. Oh, that's right. Because we'd chosen Poppy's name before. Yeah. I was just going to say, I was like, hold on, because your Poppy is two months older

than my Poppy. So I was like, I swear I didn't steal your baby name. No, I know. We kind of decided upon it when she was like, yeah, still in inception, still growing. Guys, no one stole anyone's names. It's just the universe. I know. I get a feeling that 2026 is going to be the year of the Poppies, I think.

And you know what? 2022 was the year of the Lolas. I would love to know what has motherhood been like for you in terms of like what you expected it to be and what it's actually been and you know knowing that you are doing this without having a partner to rely on what has your village look like like who do you have in your life that's helping you honestly I have loved every minute there has never been a stage of her life where I've been like oh I just wish she was over this already I think because I've wanted to be a mom for so long I have just like loved it and she has been a unicorn baby she is like she was the

perfect newborn and I don't want to rub that in for anyone but like from hospital days she would sleep four to five hours at a time and she would feed like yeah we had our issues here and there with feeding and but like in general she just was the perfect baby and I have really only had very very few moments where I've been like this is too hard I need someone else to step in or I just need to put you on the bed for a second because I don't know what else to do with you right now and yeah there's no one to hand you to so I just need to take a moment to breathe and recenter myself and then we'll keep going but yeah I have friends here and there who have stepped in but The hard part really is every now and then not having anyone to bounce ideas off or for example

I'm looking for a daycare at the moment so that when I go back to work there's a place to be and I'm going on my own and I'm having to make the decision purely myself because I'm all there is. Also like riding a wheel trying to find someone who will fit the spot for me if I'm not here anymore those things are really hard because you know you just think if I'm not here then she literally has no one yeah which I imagine yeah that's all consuming overwhelming thought and I think that's the thing I mean god there are so many single mothers out there by choice and so many single mothers out there not by choice you know circumstances put them in that position but it just must be so hard to not ever have that reprieve like it's exactly what you just said

even the handing over for just 10 minutes while you do something while you go to the toilet while you just breathe through a stressful situation or just having someone to make a bottle while you're anything yeah it's like you're you're it do you think it's harder than you imagined or easier than you imagined because I imagine you would have tried to set yourself up really realistically being like this is going to be fucking hard yeah um that's a good question I don't really know how to answer it I think if I need two hands and she wants to be carried I put her in the carrier if she needs Panadol at night time I just have to take her with me you know like there's different things you just have to make decisions here and there to do the best that you think there is to

do at the time you know like she crawls around the bathroom floor while I shower it just it's just life what would you say to somebody now that is in a position where they are really wanting a child or maybe they're going through IVF or they're struggling or just somebody that was in a position that you were in 12 months ago? Hang in there. It is really hard when you're in the trenches of IVF. It's hard to know what the right decision to do is. I know for me after my seventh round, I knew that I'd tried a hundred percent. I'd given everything I had and I knew I needed to stop thrashing my own body so for those trying just take a step back and see if you've tried you know you've given it your all and then maybe think about what a different avenue looks

like originally I thought I don't know if I want to let go of having my own genetic child but you hop on that single moms by choice group and there are so many women who've got double donor children or don't embryo kids who say like the moment that baby pops out you will not look back you never look at them and say gosh i wish you had my genetics yeah you know like i remember listening to one of your podcasts while i was driving and i was pregnant and you were talking about whether if you would go back in time would you change anything and I had a fleeting thought if I went back in time would I have frozen eggs so I could use some later on and within seconds I was like no because I got Poppy and I would not trade her for a thing I would go through seven rounds of

IVF all over again yeah just to have her yeah yeah and maybe you would feel differently if you weren't lucky enough to have ended up with Poppy maybe then you'd say hey yeah if I could go back in time I would freeze my eggs earlier but you've got this miracle who you love infinitely so of course you wouldn't change anything Deb who was the first person you called when you found out that you're pregnant a friend of mine that was the first person yeah I love that I feel like that that's the summation of the people that are the most important to you when you think of like who is it that you're going to share the news with Laura's told me before Matt every time Deb we're so thrilled for you and I just want to say like we love that you're a part of the

discussion group and we love that the community came through with the goods and you you've ended up in the happiest moment of your life because you didn't give up and you're really determined and you knew what you wanted you're also I hate to say brave enough but you're brave enough to go down that on your own and not let anything else get in the way of a dream that you said you'd had for a long time and that in itself is really special and just to our life as letter listening right now too like bloody hell you guys are good people like the people that showed up the people that supported you along that way even we were shocked like we know how good you guys are and Laura and I were like this is insane like it makes us remarkable makes us like it's the best

part of doing this podcast is you guys and these are the stories that really drive that home and reiterate how many good people there are in the world I mean we've always spoken about how lucky we are to have such an incredible community mostly of women around us and I think that this is one of those moments in life where there is proof in the pudding, you know, like having you step up to the plate and Deb, the fact that we can sit here and have this chat and Poppy is here in the room is just, it is the most beautiful full circle story. And we're very grateful to have you be a part of the community too. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for, um, I guess hosting the podcast and for making a space for, you know, thousands of women to connect and to share life together and yeah,

for miracles like Poppy to exist. We love love. We love love. Thank you so much for joining us today, Deb. Thank you.