Life Uncut - A lesson in self love and positive thinking

Episode Date: March 2, 2020

In this episode we are talking about self love and self forgiveness. We also touch on our thoughts on cosmetic surgery and self acceptance. Tackling the big stuff and the small stuff.Big thanks to our sponsors Frank Body and Scratch Pet Food!Follow @lifeuncutpodcast for your daily lolcano, lolerderby....lolercoaster.... (I feel embarrassed just typing that)Life Uncut is an independent podcast and it fills us with bundles of joy to bring our yabbering to you each week! If you loved this ep please hit 'subscribe' on Apple podcast or 'follow' on Spotify, and if you're feeling extra zesty leave a review and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany and happy hump day. It's Wednesday. Oh my god I've lost the plot. I didn't sleep last It's Tuesday, isn't it? We record this on a Friday and every single week this episode drops on a Tuesday and Brittany's an idiot. Do you know what though? If you just say something with confidence, I just convinced myself it was Wednesday. Well, you didn't convince me, so I don't think that that theory necessarily flies.

Talk about life uncut. Happy Tuesday, guys. We are so happy to be here in the studio. We could just record another intro where you don't screw it up. I quite like the happy hump day. Hey guys, happy Tuesday. and yeah, how was your week being Brittany? I just hit some life goals this week. I often talk about how I love my Magnums. If anyone listened to our very first episode of this year, which was

2020, big 2020 energy, where Britt made the 2020 resolution that she was going to cut out some sugar. Bitch, I'm just here to tell you, you didn't do that. Guess what happened? Magnum invited me on a super yacht. It's like, I kicked all my life goals. I was like, this is incredible there's saxophone sunset and magnums like i was chuffed magnum doesn't even sponsor this podcast sponsored are you doing this so that you're hoping that you might get some free magnums out of this i just reckon i reckon they'll get on board i reckon they've got to get on board i'm just a straight up super fan but no i did go on the it was a beautiful sunset it was very romantic on the harbour and i just forget sometimes sometimes you get stuck in life in your bubble in

the same area of i mean i'm gonna say bondi and sydney disgusting being stuck in bondi it's just it's hideous. No one wants to get stuck there with all the beautiful people and the tanning and the sun and the ocean. That's fucking awful. And the $7 coffee. Awful. Poor Brittany had to go on a super yacht to get away from it. I think any city that you're in, you go to work, you get really busy. And then when you get this little bit of time off, you don't want to venture far away because you're like, I don't have a lot of downtime. I'm just going to walk down my usual. I'm going to go to my local. And it was really nice to actually make the effort and get out and see some of Sydney. So it was just nice. And it was difficult that you had to do it on a

super yacht as well whilst eating magnums yeah you're so relatable right now look I'm not trying to rub it in anyone's face but I just want to talk about my highlight and I got to eat magnums on a boat and it was great but um let's talk about your week Laura oh let's not my week was if anyone follows on Instagram I had a pretty sad week my my grandfather passed away and we had his funeral yesterday which was pretty hard but then I also lost my wallet in the morning which was also pretty shit oh my god please tell them how you lost your wallet you didn't just lose it I had gone to go and get a coffee in the morning and I was pretty flustered and Marley was being a bit of a punish to make her quiet I gave her my wallet to play with at some point whilst walking

home Marley decided I don't want this toy anymore so I'm gonna turf it out of the pram so I lost my credit cards my ID and everything and then driving down to the funeral which was in Wollongong I I had no ID and I had no credit cards because Matt had gone down in a different car and I got three quarters of the way down there and then my petrol light came on. Oh my God. I was like, I just can't.

And you didn't have any money to pay for it because Marley threw your wallet down the drain. Oh, I just, honestly, it's been a really, really tough week. But do you know what? I'm incredibly lucky that I've got to spend these 34 years with an amazing man. So I am very grateful for the happy times that we had. I'm really sorry to hear, as you already know,

we don't need to talk about that here, bit. Britt came into the podcast studio today with a big bunch of flowers and she didn't have any paper. So she wrote me a note on a parking fine and I thought she was giving me her parking fine. And it was good. It said, sometimes life is shit, which I think really matched the situation with the fact that it was on a parking fine. A short poem by Brittany. That was funny that life delivers things. Like it just doesn't come in ones. It just bombards you. Do you feel like, like this week you have just had a multitude of really shit things and but you know what i think more so it's when something big in your life happens then what happens is that other things

that you would normally be able to cope with and things that would be annoying but they wouldn't be quite so upsetting then those small things happen but they're compounded by the fact that you're already sad and they're highlighted aren't they totally surface and so you just everything then surmount so you really start to notice all the other small things but no I'm I'm yeah I we've had our we've had our sadness and we had our tears yesterday and and I'm sure there'll be plenty of times where I feel like that again because it seems like it just comes in waves but guys we're going to talk about self-love in this episode and that's you know something that's uplifting and positive to talk about onto something that is definitely

a bit more uplifting you have been sending in your accidentally unfiltered and I freaking live for these now at the start I was like I wasn't sure if this was going to become a proper segment of this podcast oh i was i was like this is brilliant so when brit decided that we were going to bring on accidentally unfiltered which is basically just your most embarrassing stories i wasn't really sure if this segment had legs holy dick this segment has legs and i love it so much one of you listeners has sent in this story the fact that she has sent this from what she describes as a burner account because she was too embarrassed to send it from her own account She made an anonymous account like a spy, like she's CIA.

Or like a troll. Like she created a fake account so that she could send me this story because it's just so great. So that we can't ever trace it. So here it goes. When I was at uni, I was in the library in a silent study area. I had a sore vagina and I decided to consult a website called Virtual MD. I don't think it exists anymore, sadly.

Do you remember this, Virtual MD? I never used it, but I know about it. So it was like virtual MD was basically where if you had something wrong with you, like a virtual medical doctor, you had something wrong with you, you could type in your symptoms and it would tell you what was wrong with you. So, okay, I'll get back to the story. Basically, this is where you would enter your symptoms and then a video clip of an actual doctor would play after which you would reply and another clip would play and so on. It had subtitles. So I typed in the symptoms and suddenly the doctor appeared on screen and boomed.

You are telling me that you have an itchy vagina. Let me see if I can help you with that today. Everyone in the library turned to look at me. I tried to pretend that someone had pranked me, but I don't think my acting is particularly very convincing. So after a few minutes, I left. I never returned to the university library ever again. And I moved to Alaska.

I freaking love this. please if you have an accidentally unfiltered story for next week send them on through because we live for your embarrassing stories also it makes us feel so much more human i i love that that happened but you know there's that joke that people send you a video when you open it it's like a porn thing that plays out loud have you has someone ever done that to you my friend used to do it to me all the time i was like dude stop it like it looks like it's gonna be a butterfly and then you press into it and it's a porn thing and it's like and wherever you are you've opened it everyone looks at you but I really enjoyed your um your vocals then if you try to do an orgasm

noise I haven't heard one of those for a while go again no use your imagination but um I'm gonna add another accidentally unfiltered on just a quick one this woman wrote in and I'm between 50 and 60 and I just did something that's really funny so she's like my daughter had her boyfriend over and I of course wanted to know about him so as they were in their room I went onto Facebook to try and find him but I accidentally friend requested him five seconds later my daughter comes out of the room and says mum did you just friend request Cameron and I said no dear I wouldn't do that she holds her phone she's like mum I can see it you friend requested Cameron and she's like I couldn't even say it was someone else I have five friends total so it's really

obviously me you know this actually this actually happened to me so I had just started seeing this years ago I had just started seeing this guy he was an English guy and we had just like we met on tinder and we had been on two days two days and his mum requested to be my friend she still lived in England mind you so our next date I was like hey just wanted to flag this with you your mum requested to be my friend on Facebook and the poor thing he was so embarrassed because obviously he'd been talking about me to his mum she did had done that by accident but she was stalking anyway I kind of feel all people in the internet what a day my mom and dad used to when we got facebook they used to not understand like they used to write to me comments they didn't know it was a

comment so then it was public so that was it was like they write to me a message so my dad would be like hey possum princess hope you had a good day was just thinking about you are you coming over for dinner what should we have i've still got some leftover chicken pick up some toilet paper on your way home sweetie i'm like dad everybody doesn't need to know what we're doing Not to, like, one-up your parent and terrible parenting technology stories, but this is gold. So years ago someone had posted on Facebook an RIP funeral notice about one of our relatives, and my mum wrote below,

lol, L-O-L, because she thought it meant lots of love. Oh, bless her soul. I actually thought that's what it was too. Lol. And she wouldn't have known. Because I think a lot of people think it's lots of love, right? No. Maybe it is in like Norway. No one thinks that except for people who don't know how to use the

internet. How are you 70? You know what I'm like with the interweb. Oh my God. Yeah. Let's just not, let's just stop there. All right guys, let's get into this topic. Guys, we're going to jump straight on in now to the big meaty segment and that is self-love. We talk about it a lot. It's a bit of a hot fad at the moment and it gets tossed around a lot. You know, you have to love yourself more if only you loved yourself more I mean you can't love another person until you love yourself and we actually had a very specific question somebody wrote in saying I've recently broken up with my partner and all the advice I'm getting is to love myself but I don't know what that means and I don't know how people say love yourself but what is that how do I get there so

Laura we thought we would sort of break this down today just one thing I want to say before we get into this, maybe I'm really jumping ahead on this, but I really hate that saying that nobody's going to love you unless you love yourself. It puts so much pressure on someone who may be feeling down about themselves and may not love themselves at that point in time to say, to tell them that nobody is going to love you because you don't love yourself. I don't think that that's correct because I know that I have been in a relationship with somebody who suffered with depression and there were times where he didn't love himself and I still loved him. And I think that that's, it's a very dismissive, it's a very dismissive, but it's also, it's a very reckless way of trying

to encourage someone to be more positive about loving themselves and to be more self-accepting. So I just kind of wanted to like blanket that statement. But I mean, I will often say, and I'm a believer of this too, like this is going against the grain, a bit of what you just said, but I will often say you can't really be happy with someone else if you're not happy in yourself on your own. And I'll say that all the time. And I mean that, but it doesn't mean you can't go and be with somebody. When I say that, I mean, okay, sure, you might be able to go and have a relationship with someone, but unless you actually have healed yourself and gotten yourself to a good place, you're going to take that in to your new relationship. So when I say like, you can't be

happy with someone else unless you're happy on your own, I do genuinely sort of mean that because I mean, you're going to take in a whole lot of negativity and a whole lot of doubt, but of course, people are still going to love you when you're broken. Of course, people are going to love you when you're down and out. I just don't think you're going into it at a successful level. I think that sometimes we can be very black and white with the terms that we use. And I think that sometimes self-love at the moment and the way that we discuss it, especially on social media and especially sort of like this hype around it, it's very superficial in that, you know, it's very much based on the aesthetics. I think we often talk about self-love and we talk about, you know, accepting your cellulite or accepting that gap in your teeth or accepting your flat chest. there's all these things that we associate self-love to and we seem to really associate it to

what you physically look like and I think that self-love is it transcends far more than just accepting your physical attributes it translate to accepting your past accepting your personality accepting the mistakes that you've made and being kind and and really being compassionate to yourself. So when I think of self-love, I think that just this very like trivial and surface conversation around love yourself, I don't think it really goes deep enough into what it is. And that's kind of what I was excited to talk to you about today. And this understanding of not using the terminology self-love, but using the terminology more of self-compassion is what I attribute it to. And that's what gets me excited about the topic. When I think of self-love for

myself I think self-acceptance I like the term acceptance and self-forgiveness I think a lot of people hold on to some things whether they know it or not you might have done something in the past or something that just doesn't sit right with you years on and you don't even know you're holding on to it I think you can take that with you all through life and it's really important you need to figure it out and bring it to the surface and deal with it because if it's just sitting in the pits of your belly you know that sick feeling when you think when do you have a moment in your life, you don't have to say what it is, Laura, but when you think back, and if you're listening to anyone, when you think back to a moment, it might be something you've

done, might be a conversation you had with someone. Do you ever look back and just be like, oh, it makes me sick thinking about it. I can't believe that happened. I can't believe I did that. Like, do you have a moment? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I've definitely spoken on this podcast before about how I was a total asshole in some past relationships. And it took me a really long time to get to a point where I felt worthy of having a good relationship because I carried a lot of guilt and what it made me realize is yes I may have behaved badly and I may have cheated and I may have not been the person that I wanted to be in those relationships but it's made me much better at my relationship now and I know that I have taken those mistakes and instead of

continuously beating myself up about it and feeling bad and feeling like I'm not good enough I know that I'm never going to make those mistakes again because I don't want to be that person so I think that with self-love comes this real self-acceptance. Some people may wake up and really feel like I love myself and that's great. And if you, and if you have that sort of like pivotal turning moment in your life, it's, that's an incredible thing. But I also think for some people is it's a process. It's, it's not an event. It's the journey towards it. You know, there might be times in your life where you feel really great and really positive. And then there may be other times in your life where something happens and it just knocks the absolute wind out

of you I definitely do not think you just wake up with it one day and say I love myself now I mean if if you are the one percent that can do that that's absolutely brilliant but I think it's a process it takes time it's it's physical attributes it has mental characteristics it has spiritual trays there's a whole holistic approach to self-love and there are so many layers and maybe you work on one of those layers at a time whether that's for you you start mentally and we'll go through some things. But I think to start with, you need to be mindful of your feelings. How are you feeling? How are things making you feel? The people you hang around, your job, your day-to-day. So I think that is a really big thing to start with. You wake up and are you hating yourself

because you don't want to go to work that day because you hate your job? Are you hating on yourself because your partner is just making you feel one foot tall all the time. I think it's about peeling back the layers and starting at the basics and just asking yourself now, you can all ask yourself, okay, how do I feel today? How do I feel right now in this moment? How do I feel going into the day? Am I excited? Am I looking forward to it? Is there something I'm dreading? If there is, why are you dreading it? To begin with, just being in touch and like hyper aware of your feelings? I think as well, not just in regards to the way you're feeling, because I think feelings shift and we don't always control the way we feel. Like sometimes hormonally, we don't have control

over things, but what you do have control over are your thoughts and thoughts can precede feelings. So if you're feeling sad and you're feeling anxious, or you're feeling a certain thing, I kind of tend to want to lean into, instead of trying to control the way you feel, try and control the dialogue that you're having internally that that internal dialogue that says i'm not good enough or i'm not pretty enough or i'm not skinny enough and you have to really be aware of that critical thought that you have and trying to change that dialogue and so anytime you catch yourself having that perfectionist talk where you're saying that you're not enough stop stop bullying yourself and stop being mean to yourself and you have to switch that around and

you're like, you know what? My skin is great. My hair is great. I am skinny enough. I am funny enough. I am confident enough. And you are your thoughts, whatever it is that you're focusing on and whatever it is that you're thinking to yourself constantly, that's the world that you're creating for yourself. If you think you're not good enough, then you are not going to be good enough because you're constantly going to doubt yourself. You're not going to take opportunities or chances as they're presented to you. So you're creating that environment for yourself. So I'm totally with you. I think feelings are important, but I think thoughts are the first part of that. I think really taking control of your, your thoughts and taking ownership for that is so

important to getting to a place where you can actually start to like, no, I do love my, you can trick yourself into it. If you tell yourself enough, it becomes real. A lot of this stems from comparison in the world. Yeah. Like hallelujah. And you know, i love to say it i've said it before comparison is the thief of joy totally we've talked about comparison and especially with comparison with social media so much but i think it's one of those things that you can't talk about enough in this day and age and it's so hard because it's in our face everywhere whether it's on a billboard whether it's on the bus literally the side of the bus whether it is um reality tv stars yeah you i'm constantly comparing myself to you

please so tan so pretty it's fake it's fake but that's just it right it's it's fake and like we have this comparison constantly where we see people on instagram and they're so beautiful and they're so perfect and their lives are so fun and they're on bloody super yachts with magnum and it just makes you feel like what you have is not good enough i laura if you guys follow me on social media um laura do you follow me sometimes you would know that i have recently i've never really shared my work life on social media because I always just thought like no one was interested in that I thought you wanted to see the super yacht and you want to highlight real well like what in my mind I'm like why would anyone want to see me at work like how boring but I decided

just after I got a lot of people saying you know how great your life is how nice it is to have everything handed to you it made me mad and I said I then I thought to myself hang on I can't be mad because I haven't told anyone that I do work and how does anyone know that? But I do have multiple jobs and my sister and I, we've always worked together in a hospital and any of you shift workers, you know what that's like. You do a 10-hour shift, you're on call all night, you back up to another 10-hour shift the next day and I've done that for years. I don't do the on call anymore because I have too many other jobs and I actually need that sleep in between but I still work my ass off but I didn't want people looking at me thinking like comparing themselves

I didn't want them thinking like oh she's she's so lucky she's got it all guys Laura and I both work like a boss like Laura I don't even know when you sleep you don't do what is sleep but what what are you talking about who am I I can't see it's the comparison thing and I hope you guys know that every single person you I guess are looking up to on social media their life is not going to be what they present it to you. I'll give you one hot secret guys. I went to the Melbourne cup races and do you know what it made me realize? One, the horse racing sucks. You copped a bit. I fucking get it guys. I get it. But what I did realize as well from a, from a more human perspective and a bit of people watching is that I saw in real life, all the people that I follow

on social media and all the people who I have over the years thought, Oh my God, she's so beautiful. why don't i look like that and they don't look like that yes everyone is still beautiful and everyone is still stunning but everyone is less shiny in real life now that i i meet and see people who i have followed and who i found inspirational aspirational purely from a physical sense not because their lives are necessarily inspirational aspirational just like on a superficial level totally on a totally superficial level when i've seen these people in real life i've been like oh that almost made me feel better about myself which is terrible because once again I'm comparing myself it's a realization that is not what it seems you know and I know that

we're becoming more woke to this I know that we're starting to realize it but I don't think people realize it to the full extent because you know you're never like for the majority of people you're never going to see the people that you follow on Instagram in real life some people are getting better with sharing all aspects and all facets by our stories but there are still a lot of people out there who share a very curated very like face-tuned very photoshopped very filtered version of their life. And I think you would be surprised if you met some of these people in real life. And like you said, they're all beautiful, but you're like, some of them I didn't even recognize. Just less shiny. Yeah. I was like, wow. I was like, that's what you look like without

Valencia over your face. Oh my gosh. Welcome to IRL. How do you even say this? Let's just say it. Every single woman has cellulite. Every single woman has stretch marks. I have them. I have a massive pimple on my butt right now as well. Is that going to make anyone else feel good? I didn't know we're going there, but it makes me feel good. Do you know what I do want to talk about in this? And this is pretty, like, this is pretty out there for me. I haven't spoken about this stuff before. Okay.

In regards to accepting oneself, when I finished the show, like when we came off The Bachelor, there was a period there where I was so insecure because I would open up Instagram and someone would have messaged, you know, she looks like a prawn, that this was a comment, for example. or, you know, I love prawns. What is that person even talking about? Great body, but throw away the head for anyone who doesn't know. She looks like a prawn or she has no lips. Anyway, the majority of them were, were about my face and how I wasn't pretty enough and never in my life. Not

that I was ever egotistical or self-absorbed, but never in my life had I looked at myself in the mirror and not liked what I saw. I always looked at myself in the mirror and thought, okay, we can work with this. This is, this is totally doable. But there was about a year after the show finished where I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't think I was good enough for Matt. I didn't think I was pretty enough to be in the privilege situation that I was in. I didn't think I was pretty enough to have been the last person standing on the bachelor. I just didn't think I was good enough at all. And I went and I got fillers in my lips and I got fillers in my cheeks and I was trying to, I'm actually going to get upset. I was trying

to be something that I wasn't. And trying to change yourself to make other people happy is never going to make you happy. If you find yourself going down that train of thought or thinking that you need to have bigger lips because other people have that, or you need to change something about yourself because it's going to make you prettier or better or happier. I think that's when you really need to stop and stop trying to change how you physically look and really try and change the way you're thinking about yourself. You are so unique in everything that makes you you and that is absolutely enough no matter what somebody says to you well there's only one you isn't there in the whole world there's one you interesting so before i went on

the bachelor i was booked in for a consult to get my boobs done i didn't know this i know so i booked in um this was literally like literally just before i got on the bachelor then i got the call for the bachelor so i cancelled that because i the consult because i was like i'm going on the bachelor um so I cancelled that went on the show and I am so glad that worked out the way it did because when I came out the other side I realized that I was doing I don't think at that time I was doing that necessarily for me I think I think I was surface level being like yeah I'm totally doing this for me like I've got small boobs you know it'll make me feel better but I think there's a lot there was a lot of it that was about I've been single a long time maybe um if I had bigger

boobs better boobs guys might like me more there was definitely an aspect to that if I'm I wouldn't have admitted that at the time but I'll you know I've gone through a lot since then and I've changed a lot and I've reflected a lot and I think that there was a big part of me that was maybe thinking that it would attract a penguin penguins like boobs everyone likes it but I love my like now i love my boobs yeah they're small like and it's what you just said comes with age like you said and you just get to a point where you get more comfortable and for example like you just said all these by the way those people that trolled you what fucking idiots i'm sorry that's a whole nother conversation totally just like we can have another conversation about internet trolling but

just to add to that last what i was saying before yeah i don't have any filler in my face now like that stuff has dissolved over the years and it's all gone and i look like i used to look i i think anyway. And maybe some people would never have even noticed I'd done it in the first place. And some people did, but I now being at my lowest and also come out of that, like, I know that that does not make me happy. And that's why I feel like I can tell you that changing things about yourself is not going to make you happy. Happiness has to come from the way you feel about yourself. It has to come from this contentment. And the most important relationship that you have is the relationship that you have with yourself, because regardless of whether you're in a relationship now,

regardless of whether you find a boyfriend in a year's time six years time whatever you are going to spend a lot of time alone in your life and you need to be okay with who you are when there's nobody else around like we did touch on it before if you have a really crooked nose and it makes you so unhappy and self-conscious sure go get it fixed as long as you know it's for you not anyone else so like it's super important to know that it's your body and it's your life you can do whatever the hell you want with it as long as it's for you it's funny because um ali from the bachelorette ali she's actually been really vocal and open about she had very very large breasts um and she was really open she had a breast reduction a few months ago um and she said she got those because

her basically for her boyfriend to make him happy because he wanted her to have bigger boobs and she is open saying it was the biggest regret of my life because i didn't do it for me like i did it for him. And then they broke up and she's left with his breasts. She wasn't happy with Emma. We're not shaming plastic surgery. We're not shaming cosmetic injections. We're not shaming any of that stuff. If you want to do that for yourself and that makes you happy for you, then that is totally fine. But if you're doing it because you feel like you have to, because you don't feel good enough, that is where the problem is. Okay. So I do think it's important that we talk a little bit more about some steps you can take

if you're not quite at that level of self-love yet and you still have some work to do and you know you have work to do, but you don't know how to get there. So we're gonna discuss a few things. I think one of them first and foremost, this is a personal opinion and I don't talk about this a lot,

but I have been the lowest of lows. You know, I've had some really tough things in my life and I have been there and I've had to pull myself up off the ground and walk up the steps and get back on to the top of that mountain. And the number one thing that helped me was exercise. I just fell into this routine and I realized that every day whether it was just a walk

a run boxing whatever I was moving every day and I felt 10 times better after it I would I wouldn't want to get out of bed but once I made myself get up the day improved the hardest thing with exercise is if you haven't done it and it's not part of your it's not part of your routine and you're so far off the bandwagon just starting can seem so incredibly overwhelming but you don't have to look at it as though like i'm getting back into exercise just go for a walk just do something small every day that's going to start to like progressively get you back in on track and back into shape because i definitely think exercise is one of the best things for getting your brain happy again well i mean there are actual chemical reactions that happen in your body it's the

endorphins that's the good stuff um and eventually we've spoken about this um in the first episode back this year actually and that is just about getting yourself into a routine so after maybe three weeks i think a lot of science says three weeks and then you start to get into a habit you form a habit and with that you'll start to want to eat better and i think nutrition comes into self-love because you holistically you want to feel good on the outside and the inside and that comes from good food if you're laying in bed binge eating i mean we've all been there i was like yeah so i think eating really well exercising just starting to look after yourself from the inside out there's a bloody brilliant place to start from a very superficial level when you feel

like you look good you feel good about yourself so i mean you can't it's all fine and dandy to be like you just need to love yourself exactly the way you are but there are steps that you can take that are like very, very healthy and very productive, such as exercise that can get you on the right track to feeling that way about yourself inwards and outwards. I think another really important one is boundaries. And I think another really important aspect of that is saying no. If you're doing something that doesn't make you happy, if you're being around people who don't add value to your life or make you feel good about yourself, they bring you down. if you have toxic friendships uh if you have frenemies you feel like shit yeah just cut him

just ghost him just bloody cut him down the middle cut him i just i just cannot stress this enough i think this also comes with age and it comes with you get to a point where in your life you just you're not you're not gonna put focus and time and energy into people who don't make you happy and don't make you feel good and don't give back to the quality of the relationship that you put in I think that this is such an important aspect of self-love of self-care of self-respect you need to remove people and things that are not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated I'm really good at not having people in my life that are not good for me like somebody that a toxic friend I'm really good at leaving that behind I don't cause a scene or anything but I

just don't encourage the friendship and I let it fade what I'm not really good at and I'm really really trying to work hard at it is saying no but self self-love doesn't have to be this like rah rah rah like i'm going out i'm living like i'm living my life to the max self-love can be sitting at home watching netflix eating a bowl of ice cream just taking care of yourself doing nothing you know i thought that was what self-love is that's what i do just loads of masturbating guys we nailed it no but self-love is if you need to take time out from all your friendship circles from all the noise and the stimulus and other people sometimes self-love is taking a couple of days to yourself just to really reconnect and get your thoughts in order and get your life in

order sometimes when you're caught in the craziness of life and the busyness you haven't really stopped and taken time to go oh how do I think and feel about these situations why am I so stressed out or anxious or why is there so much noise giving yourself quiet space and saying no is a huge part of what self-love is and it takes a lot of um power and courage to say no to people sometimes especially when you love them but if if you physically and mentally know that you can't deliver that's totally okay and a real friend will understand i've put a little point in here that i want to talk about and that is trying new things i one of them that i tried is meditation what do you think about that i don't know how i feel about meditation i'm not so woke that i can

get on the meditation train. I think that's a common misconception. I don't think you have to be woke. That's what all meditation people say. I went and did a month. I spent a month with a monk and I learned to meditate and I came, I have never done yoga. I've never done meditation before. I'd never done anything. I made a decision to go and try something new to help me from the inside out. I met this monk. He was really funny. He had a shiny head. So I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to do this with you. You're really an easy sell, aren't you? Oh, the bendiest arm ever, old bendy arm, Brittany. So I did this month with this monk.

He taught me to meditate. He taught me literally how to feel good, be a better person and love myself. And it was, I didn't go in searching for him. I stumbled across him, but it changed my life. I often still meditate now and I don't, you don't have to go and sit at the beach, cross legs, you know, hands out with the little signs. she's trying to do pointer finger touching thumb like the little like namaste yeah that's not yeah that's not it i do it in my room i often do it before i go to sleep or first thing when i wake

up and it really did set the tone for the rest of my life and i know that sounds crazy but it changed the way i think it changed the way situations and people and things affect me like nothing gets to me as much as it used to it's like water for ducks back and i definitely attribute it to this guy and this time. Like we talked about at the beginning of this podcast, talking about like training your thoughts. Like, I mean, maybe that is what meditation is in a very crude sense without putting a label on it. If you're re like retraining yourself to think a certain way and stopping yourself from having negative thought patterns, maybe that is a type of meditation as well. It is a hundred percent. There are so many levels. So I have this one and

I want to do this for you guys, because this was when I was in a really, really dark place, this really really helped me when I was talking about earlier about retraining your thoughts and like really trying to recenter yourself and when you find yourself thinking negative things this exercise actually changed my life I was going through a terrible terrible breakup and I was sitting at my desk at work and I was bawling my eyes out into my keyboard and my boss came up and he said I have a I have an audio tape I want you to listen to now this is way before podcasts I have a cassette and my Walkman. It wasn't that ridiculous. Actually, maybe it was a cassette. Anyway, so I went to the boardroom and I sat in the boardroom and he gave me a Tony Robbins tape

to listen to. I know that Tony Robbins can be a bit polarizing. Like some people love him, some people hate him, but this exercise genuinely changed my life. So I can't take credit for this. This is a Tony Robbins exercise, but I'm going to do it with you guys now. So you can only really do this if you're in a, in a confined room or like you're in your house or yeah, you're in your office space. I feel like doing it on a walk is probably a bit difficult. So if you're doing it on a walk, then skip past this and come back to it. That's my, that's my advice. Britt, I'm going to do it with you. Oh, great. Okay. What do I do? Okay. So on the count of three, I'm going to get you to close your eyes. Right. And when I tell you to open your eyes, don't draw a penis on my face.

Please. Is that where this is going? Am I being punked? No. Okay. So guys, if you're listening to this, close your eyes, close your eyes. And on the count of three, listen to my soothing voice on the count of three, you're going to open your eyes and you're going to look around the room that you're in. And you're going to look for everything that you can find in your room. That is Brown. You're going to look for really specific details and you're going to get like, get really specific with this guys. I want you to look at all the little things that are in your room and in your surrounding space, they're brown. So one, two, three, open your eyes and look around for brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown.

Shut your eyes. Okay, got it. Now shut your eyes. Guys, shut your goddamn eyes. I've got heaps of things. Stop freaking peeking. Freaky peeky. I'm going to win this so hard. Shut your eyes. Now with your eyes closed, I want you to tell me everything that you saw in the room that is green. oh i knew there was a twist can i open my eyes no you have to try and tell me something you gotta keep your eyes closed and tell me something that you saw that's dude there's nothing in this room that's green we have the most neutral room in the world okay open your eyes turn around behind you where you were just looking oh like two huge green bags there's two green woolworth bags on the ground there's the flowers that are on the ground that are green yeah that

our actual our recording mic has like two little green spikes that keep going up and down when we're talking where are you going with this there's green on my mount franklin bottle right there so i'm i'm hoping and assuming that if you guys have just done this exercise you had a pretty similar outcome and that you can't recall anything that you've seen that's green basically this exercise is supposed to try and show you that your brain only has the capacity to focus on what you give it give power to so if you're focusing on all the shit in your life and you're thinking that everything's shit and you're seeing shit everywhere then all you're going to see is brown but if you start to try and rework your brain every time you're thinking about the brown every

time you're thinking about the shit every time you're thinking you're not pretty enough you're not good enough you're not funny enough you need to stop yourself and try and remember all the good things in your life and all the things that make you happy the relationships that you have that give you like so much joy and so much love the things about yourself that are actually great like the fact that you're so funny or you're you're you know you can be really objective in situations or you're a great friend there are so many amazing things happening in your life but because as people we only have the ability to focus on specific things at a time don't give power to what's shit try and look for the green oh that's very interesting because i actually

didn't notice anything green and i bought you those flowers and then run from me tony robbins guys you can get that in your gut i really think that that was very insightful i think a lot of People learned something. I definitely did. So thanks for bringing that to the table. You're welcome, Brittany. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Please come again next week. Okay. Well, I think that's a salad wrap on that. Did you just say salad wrap? Yeah. Like it's a wrap. Like that's a wrap, like a wrap party, but like a salad wrap party. You need to leave now.

We also wanted to really approach this self-love topic and not do it from a superficial rah, rah, rah, love yourself perspective. I really hope that we touched on a few things that maybe bring a different perspective on what we think self-love is and how there are different challenges associated with loving yourself. But, guys, just as a wrap on this one and not even as a salad wrap, just as a wrap, just a plain old wrap, I don't think self-love – and I know Britt doesn't – I'm going to speak for both of us right now. Can you? Self-love is not – it's not an event. It's not a destination. you're not going to get there and then that's it and you're going to stay there it is a dynamic

journey it changes as you age as you reach different milestones in your life as your relationship changes but it's all about trying to get to a point where you're really content and happy in the person that you are exactly as you are oh do i say something now no we're done so guys we never ever finish an episode without doing a suck and sweet and our suck and sweet is our highlights and our lowlights of the whole week and i'm gonna go first because i i think that everyone knows what my suck is this week has been one big great big suck um but but my sweet my sweet for the week is my nana my my nana is um she's 89 and she's been married to my grandfather for 65 years and she was so incredibly strong and she's such a incredible woman and i'm

so proud to be her granddaughter and i'm so proud of her and i know she's never going to listen to this podcast i'm gonna send it to her bless you but i'm so proud of her that's why she's proud of you too i know okay let's let's all take one big breath in do you know what actually no you can let it out cry cry i'm not gonna cry okay but you are what's your shut up we can turn that into laughy tears um it's good to feel guys what's your suck feel sit in that shut up what's your suck stop trying to make me cry um look my sucks probably can you do that again without groaning into the microphone that was my thought i was doing an ed sheeran and thinking out loud oh get it oh fuck fell short that one um my suck is okay my second sweet i actually do this a lot

they're almost like go hand in hand okay my sweet is the fact that i'm going to bali first no you suck do you suck yeah but it won't make sense okay my suck is that i haven't booked anything in bali except i booked my flight to bali and i've booked a driver but i haven't booked anything else and i don't know yolo oh my god so i've got my spirit live your best life no it's not that i just haven't had time it's not been i've not been a free spirit my driver's like i just booked him today and he's like where am i taking you and i was like uh to be continued i don't know and just let me sit in that for the next four hours but my sweet is i am going to bali tomorrow so i'm gonna go home tonight and quickly find somewhere to stay and then i'll be off so guys because

britney has a terrible work ethic and it's not going to be here next week and is going to bali we are not going to be bringing you our ask uncut this week so if you have been just you know if you if you're not going to make it through the week because you have such a burning question that you needed answered i'm sorry britney's leaving you she's abandoned you blame me but laura has said you can message the question directly to her and she'll answer it she's good like that unsubscribe so anyways guys guys thank you so much for listening to our podcast we absolutely we are so privileged and so like blown over by every single person who has been leaving reviews lately wow you guys are the best do you mean blown away or blown over blown away i guess

i'm blown away but i got toppled over by the compliments i wasn't quite blown away by them but i was just blown over no we're blown in all directions from all your compliments fact that you have taken so much time and care and so much consideration to give us your feedback and to tell us what you love about the podcast and how you do love the ridiculous stories and Brittany's awful volcanoes. My laugh actually makes an appearance a lot in the reviews. Have you noticed? I have. I love your laugh. I'm here for it too. But guys, we absolutely love creating this podcast for you. We create this content free for you because it's something that gives us a lot of joy and we're so proud and privileged to know that it also brings you some joy on your

Tuesdays and Thursdays also. Yeah. And we can't thank you enough for tuning in. And a lot of you have started to share this with your friends and we really, really love that because that's going to help us grow. We've been talking about doing a Facebook page. Actually guys, we have a Facebook page. We've not done anything to it, but if you guys want a community where you can unpack some of these episodes and talk about different topics yourselves, and also maybe share some of your ask uncut questions, or we can share them anonymously. If you guys think a Facebook page might be something that's beneficial to this like community that we're building then give us a holler because we're really kind of sitting on the fence as to whether this is something we should do or not so

if you think it's going to be a good idea and you've made it all the way to this point in the episode let us know your thoughts on that because we would absolutely love it and guys well even better than that actually laura i'm just going to one-up you i've actually made the page we just haven't told anyone so if you are interested the way you can let us know that is by going and following the page and join it it's a life uncut podcast on facebook there's a community group in there and everything because we are going to start some discussions on there and we thought it would be really nice we just haven't got there but go on over jump on board and join the community so that you're ready to rumble i love this i love that surprise i like it that you actually do work

it's great oh don't even get me started so guys thanks again for listening to another episode share the love subscribe tell your friends tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog don't tell your grandma because she'll have a heart attack and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.