Life Uncut - Am I Failing At Friendships? (& The Truth About Channing Tatum)

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Hey Lifers! Happy Wednesday! Before we even get going, Britt's got something that she’s been holding on to just for the pod and it’s got us all nervous… Then it's into an Accidentally Unfiltered for the ages: a Lifer accidentally sends the least sexy nude in human history and it’s even worse than you could possibly imagine.   We get into the internet's latest obsession, an account called "Bidness_Nonya" that only follows Channing Tatum, only compliments Channing Tatum and allegedly throws shade at his exes. Is it actually him? We revisit our own Raya walks of shame along the way, plus a confession or two about our own ex-stalking burner account eras.   Then the big one. Off the back of cancelling on one of her closest friends' birthdays this weekend, Laura opens up about something that's been sitting heavy: the realisation that in this season of life, the thing quietly losing out is friendship. It’s a bit of an emotional one, very open and vulnerable, and we ask what else are we sacrificing in life to just stay afloat?   Also this week: we got a billboard! An actual, real, just-us billboard, and we're flying to Melbourne to go stand in front of it. Plus Suck and Sweet, including a very validating one-year-old niece situation.   YouTube Timestamps0:00 — Intro: Shoe redemption, Laura's latest "I'm moving to the Gold Coast" spiral3:52 — Accidentally Unfiltered: the double bush pic sent to the same guy twice8:01 — Beach day chaos with three kids and a mouthful of sand13:36 — We got a billboard! Flying to Melbourne to see it16:14 — Our Raya walks of shame: Channing Tatum & Lewis Capaldi19:50 — Is Channing Tatum really running his own burner account?31:13 — Laura on cancelling on her best friend and failing at friendship52:08 — Suck and Sweet   Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram. You can watch us on Youtube. Join us on tiktok. Or join the Facebook Discussion Group.  Laura's Spotify Birthing Playlist: HERE The Podcast about Soph's Finger: HERE Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Sophie Nathan Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx          See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And, okay, before we get started, actually, no, this is us getting started. Who am I kidding? Britt, you have been... I've said one thing. Hi, I've started. Before we get into it, this is the start. Oh, shit, have we started recording? No, you have been saying that you have something for me that you're going to tell me on record, but that I'm going to hate it, which I'm curious but also scared.

It's not, no, you're not going to hate it, okay? Maybe I was being dramatic. I have a couple of dramatic bones in my body. You do hate my shoes. Laura, I don't. I actually love them. You know, I hope everyone comes for you like they came for me when I said one time your shoes, quote, weren't for me. And that's why it will never die.

Because every time you now try something new, Keisha, rest in peace, Keisha. Kisha, rest in peace. She tried something really new. Yeah. It seems to be going well. We're fine. We have so. Sophie.

We're having a great time over here. I'm having a really fun time. you having any fun. Okay, so I do like my shoes. I hope everyone else likes them. That's not what it's about. So do I have a complex now because I don't try many new shoes. So you have given me a complex.

No. I would like it to be known. Brittany, I actually like your shoes. I might even go by them for myself. So on the weekend, I often, when I can, every couple of weeks, I go up to the Gold Coast to see my sister Sherry. She lives out there with Jay and my niece, baby Maya, as I call her. Her name is, in fact, just Maya, but she's a baby.

This past weekend, I went up. And I was on the beach with baby Maya in the morning. The sun was shining. There was a beautiful blue lagoon. I didn't pay for parking. Everything was quick. Dog beaches everywhere. And I think I had a realization where I was like, I think I want to move to the Gold Coast.

Oh, here we fucking go. Oh, sorry, miss, you bought a house and we're going to move, but just happened to change your mind. I'm moving to Italy. I'm moving to the Gold Coast. Brittany, we can't keep up. We've all got emotional whiplash. Yeah. I don't know where I'm, I don't know who I am.

I can tell. It's my midlife crisis. I don't know where I am and what I'm doing. But I was saying something new with your shoes and let's just leave it at that. Try something new on your feet and stay stuck in Sydney, okay? It's very Brittany-esque. It's a new hairstyle. It's a new country.

It's a new city. It's a new shoe. I understand that. But it was the first time I thought maybe this is my actual future. And I just hope you're okay with that. I am breadcrumbing this early so that if I make the decision. That's fine. It's so much easy to fly back and forth from Queensland.

I actually, I get it. Sydney is such a rat race. The amount of times that I've said I'm moving down to Alla Dala and you all poo-pooed it, so I'm still stuck here, but that's fine because I knew you wouldn't actually. It's a long-term plan for you, Alla. Ulla. Ullah, Dulla. Just Ulla in the Dulla?

I'm coming. I'm coming back. Do you know, I love it down there. Maybe, Sov, how do you feel doing it from here on your own? Are you guys both going to leave just as I started? It could be in my future. I don't know. I'll go to Tara Reader and see what she said.

I just want to point out, everyone's really confused. You don't live in Italy anymore? That dream died in the ass real quick. I don't quite know where I live at the moment. I'm working it out. But I will update you guys as soon as I know. You've got as good idea as Brit does. Put it that way. You know more than me.

Well, speaking of updates, can I give you guys, I've been holding this four-hour recording as well or something. I'm not moving. Don't worry. If you fucking tell me you're leaving, it'll send me over the precipice of my mental breakdown. She's going to New Zealand. She's like, I'm going back. I will cry on today's record.

It's a guarantee. She has cried three times this morning already. You will like this one. It's an update from a lifer and it's on the back of. if you listened to our recording last week, we were talking about accidental nudes. A lifer messaged in that she took a photo on a black scale, and it was very reflective, sent it to her group chat. And it was a photo of her vagina and her weight.

Please, me, I'll read you this that came into our emails today. I'm quite enjoying this. This is the new accidentally unfiltered, but literally. It's just so good. Years ago, I was seeing a guy long distance, and naturally the conversation turned to sending nudes. He asked for one, and I'm thinking, oh, absolutely not. I'm due for a wax. Now, we were comfortable enough that he goes,

ha, show me. At the exact same time, I was messaging another guy that I used to work with. Didn't know him particularly well. He'd actually just hired me his car while he was away. You already know where this is going. I took the least sexy nude in human history, not a thirst trap, not seductive,

a straight-up documentary-style photograph of my wildly overdue for a wax situation, and I sent it to the car guy. Deleted it immediately. He had seen it. I wanted to leave the country. I'm frantically apologising to car guy saying, no,

I'm not inexplicably trying to seduce you by sending you a bush. Meanwhile, I tell the guy I'm actually talking to going, oh my God, he's losing it. We think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. Once I stopped Haferveen lining, he goes, well, come on, you have to send it to me now. So I send it to him.

Or so I thought. Guys, I send it to the car, guys. Again. She double bushed him. The same photo twice. At this point, I have no defence. The first one is an accident. The second one, this poor man has now got my bush twice.

Does he think I'm flirting? Does he think this is kind of a bizarre seduction technique? Sorry about my unsolicited bush. Anyway, here it is again, just in case you shouldn't see it the first time. Honestly, after the second, what do you even say? Sorry, that was not for you. Sounds like a lie. To this day, I don't know what Cargai thought my end game was.

There was no end game. There was only Bush twice. I think after you send it, the first time you have to be like, it's unintentional. The second time you be like, you can't explain that away, can you? I was peeing myself reading this, not doing it once, but doing it twice. Do you know what I did last night? Did not send a new 21. No, but this is a small thing, but I was like, you fuck quit.

I do all my emails and messages really late at night because it's just when my brain turns on. like I'll get into bed at 11. Yeah, debilitating, isn't it? It's just what you do. And sometimes I'll work till one in bed because it's, and but I would have watched TV for an hour and a half earlier and not done anything. And then I'm like, oh my God, I have so much to do and so much to get back. And I was messaging two people at the same time.

One was a family member, so I knew they were up. And the other person was a work person. And I knew that they'd just wake up in the morning and get it. And they had their phone on Do Not Disturb, but so did my family member. Anyway, so I was messaging both of them. But I went to press notify anyway. to my family member, but I notified it to this poor person at midnight, and I know

they've got a little baby. And I was like, she will know that I pushed that through at midnight. Who was this? My makeup artist. Oh, Ariella. Yeah. Okay. But I pushed it. It's really urgent I need makeup now. And I was like, it's not even important. I'm idiot. I was like, do my brows.

It's like you push that through a mint. What a bitch, because they know that it's been pushed through. Yeah, they notify anyway. And I was like, no. Doesn't it come through shaking? Like it comes. Not as bad as a nude. You just look like an asshole, whereas she looks insane. But then I didn't want to apologize because that's another message.

So I didn't want to be like, oh, sorry for pushing that through, but here's my apology. I'm pushing through. I think you pushed the apology through as well because they're already awake. I didn't. I was like, let's see it tomorrow. I had a realisation on the weekend. And it kind of leads me into what will be a bigger chat, but like we'll just wait for that. Because like I said, I'm a little bit on the edge today, guys.

I had a realization this weekend. I took all three children to the beach. Matt came down for half an hour and then he pissed off. So I was left at the beach with all the beach gear, three kids. That sounds like a wild ride. And yeah. And you know what? There's a lot of people listening to this who have got like 17 children and they're like, I can prove it. Prove that you had a hard day. But Bondi Beach is particularly mental. And when you have two, like both Marley and Lola can swim, not incredibly in waves, but they can swim, but they just run in separate directions. And then I have a baby that can't do fucking anything, but she's on the go. And I had this realization that it is years now until I am able

to lay down at the beach and just rest and enjoy myself. It's because like you hit this age, like up until now, Poppy's been relatively immobile. So like I was still kind of enjoying the relax at the beach. And then I just realized we've just toppled over the other side. There's like a two or three year period where every single thing a child does at the beach. they're intending on trying to kill themselves. Like, yeah, it's just so dangerous. Eating a box jellyfish. Literally, not even that.

Just like, they crawl into the ocean. They crawl face first into waves. So puppy did this one thing. She was like, she's the now trying to stand unassisted. And she's like standing. And then she full face first goes face down into the dry sand, but with her mouth open. So she inhaled dry sand with her eyes open and her mouth open. Well, there's rather that than the ocean.

Face imprinted in sand. imagine peeling her back, her whole mouth was full of sand, her eyes were full of sand. She's screaming and dying, like asphyxiation on sand. I didn't know what to do. I'm like, Lola get that drink bottle. Anyway, nothing about it was relaxing. Meanwhile, Lola was like a kilometer up the beach. I honestly sat there and I was like, oh my God, when people say you're going back to nappies,

they don't actually mean you're going back to changing a nappy. They mean you're going back to this. You're going back to the not having a second to stop and like not be terrified that the child's going to do something to herself. I have talking about this on the weekend. I have a friend. I met up with her. I have one single friend.

Well, do you know what I mean? You know when you start talking about something? Very nice. You know when you're talking about something, you're like, I don't want them to listen to this. But I have a friend and she was telling me that her friend, are you okay? It's actually Brittany that we're talking about. No, we're talking about this because my friend has her kids like 17, 18,

going off to university, out of the home. Oh, they're grown up. They've got grown up kids. Her life is back and she just decided she wants another baby. That is absolutely crazy. Which is like hats off because some people just love it so much. That is what they truly, truly love to do. But I, and I'm not a mum, so I don't know.

But in my head I was like, you're free. Like you're on the other side. Like you can go travelling again. You can live your life for you because your kids can drive themselves to their sport. they can get a job. And I was like, that seems like a wild thing to do at 18 to go back to the nappies. Imagine 19 years. Yeah, but you know what?

And like, I mean, this, her example and situation of it would be more extreme than mine. But what I'm realizing is that, like, I'm a very different parent this time around. Yeah. Parenting with a five-year gap, I am such a different mum to the mum that I was when Mali and Lola were babies. If that had happened to Lola or Mali, I would have thought that they were genuinely dying. and I would have freaked out. And now I was like,

ah, she'll be fine. I'll dunk her in the ocean and wash it off. Open your eyes in the salt water and it'll flush it out. I spoke about this recently as well in terms of like her being the leveler of time for me. She's one tomorrow. So on Thursday, if you're listening to this, she's one year old. And I don't know how we have already gone a whole year since I sat here with her like in the carrier or sat here pregnant.

Goose bumps. Yeah. So happy birthday pops. Happy birthday pops a good. It's like the year has absolutely flown. I remember doing the pop. that was about the birth playlist that we did. I remember doing that like it was yesterday.

The fact that that has been one year. To be fair, that birth playlist is still absolutely fucking lit. And anytime I'm having a bit of a down day, I'll put on my birthing playlist because it's just the most fun ever. That's a little recommendation for you guys. If you haven't listened to it, it's called Push It Baby or Push It Real Good. We'll put it the links in the show notes. It is just the funest, vibeiest playlist.

So good if you're running, you can also, as you're running, think about me pushing a kid out of my hoo-ha. Hey, you know, just quickly, guys, this is very cool. Laura and I are about to get on a plane and fly to Melbourne because big things are happening. We got a billboard. We got a billboard. We got a billboard. We got a billboard.

We got a billboard. Hey, rock the fuck on. We've been doing this podcast for how many years now? Seven. And we've only just gotten a billboard. Everybody else has had a billboard. I think we had a billboard once a couple of years ago, but it was very brief. And I think it was shared.

No, it wasn't our billboard. We were put on a billboard with like six other podcasts. but this one is actually just our. So we're going to go and check it out. We're flying to Melbourne to stand in front of our billboard. And I can't tell if that's lame or super excited. I'm not embarrassed by that. Neither am I.

I'll do it. Can't wait to share that photo with you guys for some interaction on it. We need, maybe we should take the photo with our finger out. Rock on in front of the photo. Rock on. Can everyone just comment on that photo rock on? And no one will understand why everyone's saying rock on. But if you see it, everyone comment, if you've heard this, rock on and we'll know.

Joining the podcast as the newbie here, what I've learned, and a lot of you, lifeers may not know, is Britt and Laura do this entirely independently. Like, they run this show. And let me tell you, coming from the audio industry, a lot of other shows and media have a lot of help and all of these big, big conglomerations behind them. Britt and Laura do not. And I think that just pulling the curtains back, it's phenomenal and you should be so proud. No, that's very sweet. But it is not just us.

We have a team. Both like Locky, Claire, Ness, like we had the most amazing team. Don't forget Sherry. She's behind the scenes. Poor Sherry. Everyone forget Sherry because she's just like the admin in so long. Sherry as well. But like we are very, very grateful for the incredible team that we've built behind this podcast.

And like we're so lucky we get to do what we do. It is absolutely insane that this is a job. And, you know, guys, life is like, you know, you were the reason why we get to do this every day. So thank you for showing up for choosing us. It's a very saturated industry now and you still choose our podcast to listen to, which is incredibly cool. We are very grateful. Hey, a little shift.

I want to talk about my old hall pass. Do you guys remember? Yeah. Do you remember my old whole pass? Is it not, it's not Jason Mamoa as well, right? That's Laura. Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum, you've got a good memory.

Yeah. Remember I tried to supermatching? Climb him like a bean pole. Yeah, I know. So on Raya. The early days of Raya, Raya is an online dating app, right? Because I always feel like a wanker talking about Raya. I was.

on Raya very early. And in the very, very beginning, Raya was like such an exclusive dating app. And you had to, well, you could only get on if someone let you on. And I had somebody let me on otherwise. I never would have got on. There were very limited people. It had nothing to do with your surroundings. It was just anywhere in the world you'd match with these people. And they were like superstars. All of Hollywood, if they wanted to date, if they were single, they were on Raya.

It was that kind of a vibe. And now it's very different. Now it's like you still have to be recommended to get on, but everyone is on it. Anyway, so back in the early days, I remember Channing Tatum was on there and he was my whole past. And I actually was like, I could have a chance here. I might have a chance. Never had a chance. He never responded, obviously.

Anyway, so he was my whole past for a long time. And then I think he just started to gross me out a little bit. And so I changed to Jonathan Bailey. Sorry, can we just, you didn't finish that. Basically, Brick came across him on Rea and then super liked him on two separate occasions, hoping that he would respond. So when you say it was just a joke, it actually wasn't. You doubled down.

And I remember it. Yeah, because you shoot your shot. You know that's the girl that I am. Totally, twice. It wasn't a joke. It's only a joke now because he never responded. But at the time, it was legit. No.

I did it seriously on Raya as well. I shot my shot on Rhea back in the day. Lewis Capaldi. And sorry, did you get shut down by Lewis Capelty? I got shut down by Lewis Capelty twice. I love Lewis, but he's not exactly like you're, you are a 10. I'm not even joking about that. Like I genuinely, I was at a festival, I was overseas.

Lewis Capaldi was headlining. I saw him and went, you know what? I want to headline him. I want to headline Lewis Capaldi. I'm going to shoot my shot. I gave him that super like. And then you could also, this is when you traveled with Rea, you could message people if they're in the same location.

Yes, you can be like, hey, you are up. Yeah, so I messaged him as well, super liked him. Never heard back. And tell me that one hurt the ego. It doesn't matter if a musician is not like a supermodel. It doesn't matter what a musician looks like. the second they're standing on stage with a guitar. So hot.

You're like, I will fuck it. Because if you were walking down the street. Happily, gleefully. A super like is the equivalent of in person. If you're walking down the street and you're like, I would regret forever if I didn't stop that person. That's the equivalent of going up to someone saying, sorry, I would regret if I didn't ask you for your number.

Did you ever then DM, Channing Tatum on Instagram? No, I wouldn't have DM'd him. That's a different vibe. Is it? Yeah, because DMs. No, because you can DM anyone, right? Raya is you saying I'm here, I'm single, I'm looking for other people on this app. Sorry, there's something deeply lame about super liking someone twice and then DMing them.

Hey, just following up, I don't know if you got my super lights. Hey, Lewis, I don't know if you saw. I don't know if you saw, I am in town. I did super like you. And I messaged you. So good. Well, I met Ben on Raya, like my husband. So it works.

Right. It just did it for me and Lewis Cabalzi. And me and fucking chatting data. Anyway, the reason we're talking about Channing Tatum, fuck, we just got so sidetracked and I love it. No, chatting, the funniest thing is happening online. I don't know what to make of it. I know you guys have come across it because everyone's talking about it. Basically, Channing Tatum has sort of been outed for having a burner account,

but there's no ordinary burner account. The account is called Bidness Nanya, like Nanya business. And it only has one follower that is chatting Tatum. And this account only complements Channing Tatum on other people's accounts or like news articles or whatever it is or criticizes his exes. And he's the only follower of it. His followers is verified. So one follower, it's Channing Tatum.

There are people that have done all this sleut and being like, oh, my God, this is Channing Tatum on a burner account. For example, on photos of his ex Zoe Kravitz, he'll write things like just here for hate and then he puts popcorn. I'm saying he, this is allegedly, there's a multitude of these kind of comments that he puts on his exes and his exes new partners or people that are commenting or whatever. And then one example of a video that he commented on, sorry, none your business commented on, was a video of Channing Tatum. And the comment says, he's so genuine. No false pretences with this guy. Oh, he's funny as hell too. So people have gone and done so much looting and And they're like, this is Channing Tatum.

There's no way that if you have a burner account, you're following your burner account. Like, that is, people are not that stupid. That's like 101 of burner accounts. I reckon Channing might be. No, no, no. There's no chance in hell that if that is actually his account, that's just like some crazy fan account. And he's seen them writing nice things about him.

He probably has no clue that they've ever written something negative on his ex-girlfriends. He's probably seen that being like, yeah, I'll give him a follow because that's going to like make my mega fan happy. That's got to be it. There's no way. Well, there has been a rebuttal. So somebody found a comment that this burner account posted and said, this is evidence that it cannot be Channing. Basically, this account had commented on a, what's it, star sign?

So someone had said, I'm a Gemini and the burner account wrote, oh, Gemini twin. I understand what you're feeling kind of thing. And then the slews were like, oh, well, Channing's actually a tourist. Do you know what this is just telling me, people have way too much fucking time on their hands? why anyone would have a sleuthing account to try and figure out whether this is Channing Tatum's real burner account is very beyond my brain capacity for today. I'm so into it. I'm so, do you know what?

I liked him more when I thought it was him because I was like, I'm just imagining this big ass dude just sitting there on his phone being like he and like writing all these comments and being all in his little burner account. I think there was a real split in the public where half of the people were going, you know what? I hope it is him because he's, It just makes him so much like his character in 21 Jump Street. And they loved it. And the other half being like, okay, he needs to grow up a bit.

I don't believe for one second that it could possibly be him, but I do think that celebrities have burner accounts. I don't think they have them to troll their ex-girlfriends. I think that they have them just simply so that they can live life, like, you know, have, I guess like a normal Instagram where they like see what their friends are doing. Well, we did do a little deep dive into some celebrity burner accounts. But one off the top of my head was Jennifer Lawrence has said that she has one. and her favorite pastime is she gets into fights with people on TikTok all the time.

She's like, I fucking love it. And that is very Jennifer Lawrence coded. But she will just go to town on people and having arguments with them. She's like, it gives me some kind of satisfaction. One of the most famous ones is an NBA player, Kevin Durant. And he was found out to having a burner account because he obviously forgot to switch back. This is on Twitter. Forgot to switch from his main account to his burner account.

And what he was doing was he was going through all of these critics talking about his game. and replying in third person, like, nah, Kevin would be great at that. From his account. So it was like, Kevin Durant official. And it was like, nah, but if you look at his gameplay, bro, he's actually really good at like all of this. Sure. And then I went, bro, you forgot to change your burner account. Stop it.

The best one is, I will say, and this is obviously a burner account that is used for good. So, Lord, our Kiwi Queen, Lord, she has a burner account where she uses it only to rate onion rings. What do you mean she uses it only to rate? Sorry, what have I missed on this memo? I don't know. Am I just arriving at this podcast episode? I don't know what's going on here. Do you have a burner account?

No, I don't know. You have a burner account because when I logged into your account during I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here, it was like, do you want to log into all of Brittany's other account? No, do you know what? Who is this? Actually, this says, exactly. This says so much about me.

Sunset Boulevard, 127. I was like, what is this account? It wasn't that, but it was some other fucking random. It was lazy scorpion. No, this is going to say volumes about me. I don't have burner accounts. They were all businesses I was going to start. And you know how you have to like claim the Instagram?

They're all things where I have this because I, at midnight, I have this idea. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I better get that before anyone else does. I get the Instagram and then I never do anything with it. So that's what all those are. Do you know what? Since like working in social media, I don't have a burner account. I have so many, I've got Tony May. I've got mine.

I've got like, I got a million accounts coming out of my asshole. But like I don't have a burner account anymore. But when I wasn't and I was just trying to see what my ex-buburned. boyfriend was doing, I had a burner account. And it was more for personal purposes. But now I'm happily married and normal. Oh, I was going to say, now you just use the Tony May account. She trolls from Tony May. She's like, on the story likes and the views, it's just Tony May jewelry or all your exes? Can I tell you, though? Do you know what I did? So, like, I used to like, every so often back in the day, I would like, look up. This is not new. But like, I like to just

like check in and see if my exes were failing at life. And, you know, I've like moved on. I'm happy, I just want to like reaffirm that one in particular is failing. I would love to know. I would love to know from someone that actually has credentials if that's that normal or healthy. You know how? I think you think it's more normal than it is. I don't look up one X ever. I don't.

It's normal. I don't anymore because I've, it's been a decade now and I've definitely moved on. But early in my relationship with Matt off the back of the bachelor, it really wasn't that long since we'd broken up. Like we broke up and then like, life got a bit. crazy there for a while. And then I met Matt and then like I settled down and had a baby. It just like my, I went from dating someone to like being on the bachelor and then being in a forever relationship. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, it was a slippery slope that.

Yeah, he's really bled into each. Yeah. There was not overlap, but like it was not that far in between. And so like, and you guys know, I've spoken about, I've spoken about some of my exes a number of times. Some of them, it took me a lot to get over because the relationships were so toxic. And so like, I'd moved on and I was happy. And I was happy. I had this like great life and every so often I would either hear something from a friend or I would see something. We have so many mutual friends and our life had crossed over in so many ways. I'd be like, let me check that up for myself. And so I would look up. Anyway, I wouldn't do it for my personal account. I'd do it from Tony May. And I didn't realize that your search is not just specific to

your phone. Like anyone logged into the account can see anyone who has been searched. So this one day my sister was like, why are you looking him up? Because my sister's my business partner on anyway, and I felt really exposed. I was like, okay. It is, because there's something about other people knowing what you're looking at. I know. I've now just learned that I can not search my exes on the Life Uncut podcast cage. Hey, I don't know if you've also seen this.

I could be wrong. Often I am. But there's like this new Instagram update that you can pay for where you can see the people that have searched your story and like sort out your Instagram and stuff like that. So people will know if you're actively searching for them, but you have to pay for it. So I don't know if anyone's going to do that. I think people will. People absolutely will.

It's just such a money maker. Guys, don't do it. Don't lose your money to that. Yeah, but that's the reason why they are putting in that sort of functionality because they know that like, you know. Laura's going to start draining the business. No, I, to be fair, I tell all these things retrospectively now because I can look back on it and I know either how insane I sounded or how silly it was.

If I was still doing it, I certainly wouldn't be talking about it. Have a burner account and see what your boyfriend's doing and see who he's following. Like, I'm well aware. It's why I'm not in that relationship anymore. I look back on that now and I realize, like, how insane that behavior is. And I feel sorry for the fact that, like, I let myself be in a relationship that was so toxic that I got to that place of insecurity. I do think, like, these little mishaps and shit on social media, I think they're a right of passage. And I do think everyone has to do it at some point. Do you remember when I, um, I was sitting that guy, not like seriously, but I just like was obsessed with it.

guy right. I just had planned our future, but I think I'd been on like four dates with him, giving crazy. But then he moved overseas and got a new girlfriend in another country. And then I friend requested her accidentally. I was trying to stop. I actually love thinking back about it. I remember going what the fuck. I remember friend requesting her. She's literally a woman in another country, unrequested it immediately. And then went into panic mode. And then with my sister, with Laura, with everyone I knew, we had to run multiple tests to see if the person would get notified. Oh yeah, they do. They get notified. Oh, no, well, we've picked it out pretty quickly when he messaged me. He's like, why are you friend requesting my girlfriend? And I was like,

what? No, I didn't. All I have to say to this is that if you have managed to get through your 20s and 30s without doing any of this type of like insane online behavior, I need to live more. No, I'm like so happy for you that you've only had normal, stable relationships and a really stable mental space. But I was not that person and it made for great stories. That's what it is. There's been a bit of jeopardy in my life and I'm okay for it. I'm actually better for it. You're going to live. I can look back on it and be like, I don't want to be that person anymore.

And at least you didn't double down on Lewis Capaldi and message him twice. Or super life. And then follow up with the DM. I wanted to talk about something that happened to me on the weekend. And it was kind of a bit of a realization, but it was also, should I say, happened to me or didn't happen. It was me failing at something, basically. It kind of comes down to the juggle, how you're able to juggle everything at the same time or like what things in life have to give in order to make space for other things. I feel so silly getting upset by it because I know that

it's like a reality of my life at the moment and having so many commitments with like three kids and trying to be a wife in a relationship and show up there and like working and just like there's a lot to juggle, right? But I had this realization on the weekend that as much as I am trying to show up in all aspects of my life, the one aspect of my life that I'm really struggling with is being a good friend. I don't want it to sound as dramatic as it does. Like I said at the start of the episode, I just got my period. But yeah, I am, look, for contacts. It was one of my best friend's birthday on the weekend. Well, actually, it's her birthday this week.

But on the weekend, we had a birthday dinner for her. It had been planned for ages. I love her to death. She's one of my closest and oldest friends. And we were supposed to go to a girlfriend's house for dinner. And I have been the one recently that has been constantly canceling, right? Because something comes up. I'm unable to find care for the kids or, like, I haven't seen the kids because I've been at work.

And so it just felt unfair to have another night away. But this weekend specifically, it had all been. planned and then Matt had to go away for work which I already knew like in my mind the plan was going to be I was going to get the kids to bed I was going to leave as soon as they were in bed so that they didn't know I was gone and Ellie was going to mind the kids right which already was a juggle and a half but I was going to show up late and I was going to still be there and that only works if everything goes to plan and yeah anyway obviously things didn't go to plan and I had to cancel and I just was left really feeling like at the moment in this season of life, the thing that is almost impossible

to show up for in the way that I want to show up for it is my friendships. And I feel like I am failing tremendously at it. And I have been for quite a while. This is not a new thing. But it's like, I do feel as though as women, we're constantly told how important our female friendships are. And that is one of the things that's kind of been the backbone of this podcast. Like we talk about the importance of like making sure that the things that you would prioritize in life is not just your romantic relationships or not just your identity as a mother. It's your friendships and like the people that have been so important to you and part of your story for so long. And as much as we might talk that talk, sometimes I feel like it's almost impossible to embrace it in my own life.

Sorry, I'm like, feel really emotional about this. But I do just feel like the thing that I am failing at is friendship and I feel like I am doing a fucking terrible job of showing. showing up as a friend at the moment. Can I ask these feelings and how upset you are and feeling like you failed, did any of your friendship group say anything or bring anything up? Or is this a feeling you have just thought yourself off the back of that? I ask that because there are always times that you've had to cancel or pull out of things, but you've never quite felt this weight and heaviness. So did something happen off the back of the cancellation? No, nothing happened. No, no, no. If anything, my friends are incredibly understanding. I guess you see a lot of the

kind of conversation that happens online at the moment, which is like, oh my God, my favorite type of plans are canceled plans. Like, you know, it's like a joy when people pull out of things. And I feel almost the opposite. I feel so guilty pulling out of things and canceling on people. But I also feel like in order for me to be able to do some of the stuff that I want to do, maintain the relationships with my friends, show up when I should be showing up, I have to rely on so many other people in order to make that happen, if that makes sense. So, and when things don't go to plan. I'm just left feeling as though there's not enough hours in the day. Spending time with friends means less time with my kids. I'm individually trying to build relationships with

three other humans and then also have a relationship with Matt. And I know it feels like a bit of a cop-out, but I'm very much cemented in the season of friendship is really hard to juggle when work and family and my romantic relationship are the most paramount thing at the moment. Well, that's because in this season, friendship is not the priority, but that doesn't mean friendship's not important. But if you have to write down a list of like in your day, what is the most important things you can get done, it is work because you need to keep a roof over your head. It's your children and it's your husband and then it's friendships. And it doesn't mean that you don't care about those friendships. But they can't always be first in this season of life.

And that's because you literally have dependence. You have children that need you. and you still show up for your friendships. It's just probably not as much as it was in your 20s or as much as you would like. Another question. But don't you think even that, like saying like a friendship is not a priority? We are and have been told that it should be a priority at every phase of life as it should be. Like it's so fundamentally important.

But it's like it's almost as though even saying that that it's not a priority right now. That's a failure to those friendships. Like they should be. I think you can show up in different ways in different ways in different seasons. There's no reason you can't be on a phone call or checking in on a message or sending something to their house to make them feel better if you can't physically be there. Like sometimes the way you're giving a friendship has to look different because you physically are not available. Does any part of how upset you are have to do with FOMO, like you're missing out on things

as well because you can't physically go as opposed to just feeling guilty for not being a friendship? Like, do you think it's a bit of A, bit of B? I mean, of course, like I want to go and I want to be there, but it's more so around. I remember the intensity of my friendships in my 20s and I remember the intensity of my friendships in my early 30s and friendship hasn't felt like that for me for a long time. I think for a long time we've kind of been led to believe that like you can have it all at the same time.

You can't. Obviously you can't. And I know that there's been a real push against that sort of like mentality for women that like it's not possible to have it all at the same time. Things have their seasons. But I do think friendship is the one thing that we're told you should be able to maintain throughout. And I don't feel like I'm maintaining it in a way that I would like to be. That's why I feel like a failure. Do you feel that though because

there is so much more conversation now about say like the importance of friendship? It almost feels like another pressure is put on us to maintain. And if you think about it, like this period of your life now with three young children and coming into your career is a period you've never experienced. So you have no past knowledge of time or anything to be able to compare to to go, okay, when life is like this, this is how friendship works. You've got no comparison for that. Neither do your friends. You are moving into a completely different phase of life.

But all the narrative you have is from your 20s and 30s where the narrative is you see your girls, you hang out with your girls, it's so important to have friendship. But like this period is so different. It is uncharted and it isn't spoken about. And actually for you to sit there and say, I just don't have the. fucking time and I want to. For me, it's really sad to hear the word failure because it's not a definitive. Friendship is not fail or succeed.

Friendship is, it changes all the time and it can be really fucking lonely sometimes. And sometimes you may not see your friends in a long time. It doesn't mean you're a failed friend. Yeah. It's just you don't have the time right now. Yeah, but I know. And I guess like maybe that that's where the sense of describing it as like a bit of a failure comes in is because, and even with you saying, Brett, like you send a text or you call

or whatever. It's like, I physically at the moment feel like. as though there is not enough hours, minutes or whatever in the date. Texts go unmasaged back to. Calls go unanswered. And it's not an intentional thing. I honestly don't know how people do it. I don't know how they do.

And maybe the reason why I wanted to have this conversation more so is because I get messages all the time from you guys who listen to the pod or who follow me on social media. And you're like, how do you seem to do everything? You know, obviously I've got a lot of different work shit on three kids, seemingly happy online. And it's at a sacrifice, right? It's at a sacrifice. And at the moment in my life, I feel it's at the sacrifice of friendship and it's at the sacrifice of exercise.

And those... I mean, you look great. You're flying. Don't touch me. I'm very soft. But great tits are here. I've seen great tits, great legs, great everything. My tits of atrophy.

But yeah, I feel like it's at the sacrifice of those things. And those things are the things that I would say are inherently mine. Like if I was to quantify what is me time, I would say it's spent. spending time with my friends and it's doing exercise. Two things that I have totally put on a shelf at the moment because there's just no time for it. So I feel a little bit like in order to survive and thrive in one area, there is always one area that I'm not doing well in. You know, maybe it's because there is a lot of the social media push at the moment,

which is like, female friendship is the most important relationship you're going to have in your life and like one day your fucking husband's going to leave you, you're going to be left with nothing and your kids are going to leave and you're going to be lonely. There's a lot of this commentary that happens. And I do wonder how to make more priorities and how to have a better split, but I can't see my way through the forest at the moment. Quite a while ago, we actually did an episode. We talked about friendship. And I can't remember the exact episode it was on, but it was all around how every seven years, there's like a study that's been done. Every seven years, your friendship group halves, right? Every seven years, your friendship group gets smaller and smaller and

smaller. And for me, I feel as though I'm witnessing it happen in real time. That, the effect of just like the sum of people that you have the ability and time to put energy into, I feel as though I am in that phase of life. I want to find that episode. Actually, maybe we can link it in the show notes, but the irony of talking about the importance of friendship when you have ample time feels very different to what it is like when you're, you know, in a different season, I guess. And that's kind of like how I'm coming towards this. I think it's very relatable what you're saying to a lot of people right now. And I do agree that you can't have it all and something does have to give. And maybe for you, this is the first time I've seen you this upset and I guess this nuanced about your work-life balance.

But it is true that something does have to give. And maybe you're coming up to the season where up until now work and hustling has been such a priority for you. Maybe something is shifting where you're going to say, okay, maybe I don't say yes to as much work so I can say yes to the walk with the friend. But that's the balancing act that we as people have to decide what we want in our life. And we can make that choice, like to some capacity. I think I can speak to this from the other side. I am the friend that doesn't have kids. So I am the, everyone in my life has children. I fly up to the Gold Coast every couple of weeks, as I said, guys. And I'm always, I have really good friends up there. My best friend since I was five is up there.

And the last three times I have flown up, I don't fly up to see her specifically. But it's always like sort of in the agenda. Like that's what I want to do while I'm there. I fly up to stay with my sister, see the family, but it always has these two friends, one in particular. I always try to catch up with them. And the last three times I have flown up there, she has had to cancel. She's like, I'm too busy.

And it's not a, it's not a nasty thing. She'll literally say, I actually don't have time this again. She's got two kids. She's running the household. She works. How do you feel being the friend that's on the receiving end of the cancellations? Because, you know, we, and maybe the reason why I feel a bit emotional about it is because we receive so many questions that come in from Ask on Cart that is from the perspective of the

friend that feels like they've been neglected or left behind. Yeah. You know, that feeling. I won't lie. It's really, sometimes it's really sad, especially because I've been up there a few times, it's expensive to fly up. And I'm not saying that's an issue. It doesn't matter.

I have a great time up there. But I do feel disappointed. But the reason I want to come at this from the other side for you, Laura, is that a real friend understands. Like a real friend understands that season of life and it's not personal. And it's like, of course, you do you. I will try and catch up next time or whatever else it is. But I think if you get to the point where you're like,

fuck, they're just not showing up for me. You need to sort of remove yourself and look at it from a bird's eye of you and be like, okay, that's because they are barely surviving right now. Like their focus is to keep their head above water. Their focus isn't to go and hang out with their friend that doesn't have kids that has all the time in the world. And I think as much as everyone on both sides is allowed to, and is valid to feel disappointed, to feel upset, you still need to be socially aware enough to understand what season of

life people are in and take that into account. If somebody is just canceling on you constantly because they're a fuck wit, I can't be bothered. Of course, that's a different conversation. But, like, I will never, ever, ever hold it against you, Laura, if we can't go and do things outside. We very rarely get to. And we don't have to because we get this time together at work. So it's more important for you to see other people that you don't get to see every day.

But when you can't turn up to something or can't do something because of the kids or it's too hard, it's like, yeah, that checks out. And I think that that's the important friendship sort of retaliation conversation. I appreciate you saying that. And I agree, but I also think that, you know, there is, and normally, and I think about how I would answer these questions if somebody wrote it to me. Obviously, you have to take into account different people's life stages and what they have going on. But there is something inherently unsatisfying in a friendship when one person is constantly the one that cancels. When one person's consistent life demands are more important than your life demands, I understand the imbalance.

And, you know, if we were to receive that as an ask uncut question, part of me would be like, yeah, like you're not getting anything out of the friendship. You don't need to put effort in if you're not getting any effort in return. And because I understand that that is a natural byproduct that, you know, when you're not receiving or like you're not getting something back from it, you will naturally pull away from it and put your energy and effort into other things. Like, I think maybe that's what I feel the most sad about is like I feel sad about the shift in my friendships that I can, that I can, that I, that I, that I, feel, you know, and I'll get emotional again. But, you know, and I'm not saying that it's not something that can't be resurrected, that it can't be repaired. But really, like, right now in this very specific season, it just kind of opens up a different phase of life, I guess, and I'm kind of navigating what this phase of life feels like. On that, though, I do think it's important to say that

friendships like any other relationship in your life do require work. And they do require a conscious decision to put the effort in. And I remember, and I can't remember the exact episode or where it came from, but we've referenced it a few times over the years. But Elizabeth Day has spoken about this. So we interviewed Elizabeth Day many, many moons ago. And she spoke about realizing how much work it takes to put into your friendships, your female friendships, and that she got to the point where she's like, okay, I have to, once a fortnight, put a date in with my friends. And we have to turn up unless there's some big life event. Like, you can't just be tired at the end of the day or whatever else it is.

And she said she saw this vast difference in her friendships when she started to put the effort in. That is easier said than done because of the season you are in with a, you have a one-year-old and you have two other kids. So it's not as easy. Like, but the idea that we do have to realize that friendships do take work, just as much as relationships sometimes you have your highs and lows, you have the time where you have to lock down and put the effort in and make conscious decisions.

I know, but this is the thing and this is what I come back to. it was locked in. I do lock things in. But my ability to do the things that I lock in requires other people. Yes. Like I always, in order to leave my kids, I always have to rely on someone else, whether it's Matt, whether it's mother-in-law, whether it's a babysitter, like, when the things that you rely upon can't fall into place and they're out of your control, but still you wish that you could control them, it's just a really shitty situation to be in. That's all. And like, and I don't want to just talk about this from a personal perspective. I wonder if other people also feel as though they're in this place of juggling. Like, what is the thing that you feel like you're sacrificing or the thing that you feel like,

yes, I'm killing it in this area of life, but I'm fucking failing miserably over here. Because I don't think that this, maybe it's not friendship for you. Maybe you're killing it at friendship and you're fucking failing at work. I think we all have the thing that we feel as though we've had to sacrifice in order to do well in something else. And I don't know if I have the balance right. I definitely don't have the balance right right now. but I don't know whether it's possible to actually have the balance right in all seasons of life. Yeah, I think you're being very hard on yourself and I understand it.

But I think your friends understand. Give yourself a little bit of a break and you will come through the other side of this 100%. With no friends because they'll all have moved off. Oh, I'll still be here. We got a business. So I'll still be here. Sofe will be here. You pay me to be your friend.

I actually base the solution. All right, Kara, I'll slip you at 50. Well, we're, Laura and I have decided we're not going to touch on sucks this week. Why is that? Because I just talked about a suck for 25 minutes. No, just off mic, Laura goes, well, we know my suck. I'm a failure. And I'm like, that's a bit much.

You're not a failure. We love you. Love hearts. Yay. No, so we're not going to do sucks. I can't do the other one. Oh, my God. Laura, don't point out her missing finger.

Can't do it still. My fingers don't bend. Oh, fuck. You're so. suck as a boss. Damn it. She has toes for fingers. Let her live.

She can't throw the love heart like wing hand. If you saw that on YouTube. Why aren't you bending your finger? And so it's like, because I can't. That's why we were wrong on. If you've missed the episode where so talked about having a toe

transplanted onto her hand, here we are. Go back, baby, listen to that. That was great times. Yeah, we'll link it in the show notes. That was one of my favorite episodes. I'm into it. We're going to have to put that on social somewhere for people that can't see it.

That's my highlight of the week. That's my suite right there. How quickly you forget, Laura. My sweet was watching that interaction. No, my sweet for the week is, and maybe this is a sweet every time I come back from the Gold Coast, baby Maya, my niece, is at the best age. She's two in like one month or something. She's starting to talk a lot more.

But she's just obsessed with me. And it feels my cup. Like, I didn't realize how much I needed somebody to be obsessed with me. And it's so validating. And so she went to nap time yesterday. and we have the little monitor where we're watching the room and I was just watching her while Sherry was doing some stuff and she goes to bed now and she sits for an hour

and talks to herself with a tweez and stuff before she goes to sleep. She was playing Aunie Bitbit and Uncle Ben in bed and she kept saying with the dolls and stuff and she kept saying, Aunie Bitbit and she says my best friend is Aunty Bitbit Best friend Uncle Bin. She calls him Uncle Bin like a Kiwi.

Oh my God, stop it. She's a key. No, she sounds like a Kiwi. She calls him Uncle Bean. She's been listening to the podcast as well. She's been imitating your voice. Hey girl. Can I say the amount of people who messaged after that saying that I do speak in American accent as well?

Sorry. I have not heard it. That's very sweet. I love that. She just loves. She loves me. That's what you need. I just needed the love and I needed.

And then when we left when she was asleep. And Sherry said she woke up and said, Maya sad. I need bit bit plain. Maya has tears on her face. And I was like, as much as she was sad, it made me really happy. Because I was like, she froths me. So that's my sweet. It's very, very cute.

No, it's very cute. Do you know what? This is the vibes of being fun auntie. When my sister had her kids, like I'd never experienced anything like it. I never really thought about being a parent. I don't really care prior to that. And then like this little boy came into the world and I was like, oh, I am your mother. Yeah, I will die for you. She birthed you for me. Like I was just, and I am, like I was absolutely obsessed with him. Yeah, that's how I feel right now. Every auntie gets it. Don't worry. You're not alone.

Look, my highlight for the week, as much as I said, you know, I was left at the beach fending with three kids on my own. And there is nothing relaxing about it. There is something incredibly satisfying knowing that I have the ability to wrangle. And like every so often I find myself doing things that I thought were going to be really hard in terms of parenting that I just, I don't even know how to describe it, but I was like, fuck, you did a good job at that. You're like, I'm killing it.

I was like, I am killing it. Like in one aspect, at least I might be failing at friendship, but I do feel like I am doing a really good job of parenting. at the moment, right? You are. I have seen the debate. That's the sacrifice, right? Like, I feel as though I'm, I am doing the absolute best I can do with the parenting

side of things. And I don't always feel like that. So I think that that is like one silver lining when one thing's falling down. I'm building over here. You're nailing it. Thanks. From one dog mom to another. You nailed it.

Anyway, guys, if you have any questions for Ask Uncutts, slide on into the DMs, if you have anything accidentally unfiltered, funny stories, if you also got caught sending an accidental nude, I don't mind. Whatever it is, send them on in. And if you have not joined the Facebook discussion group yet, please join the discussion group. And we'll put up some threads off this conversation today. I would, like I said, it was a bit of a call out in terms of what do you feel like you're failing or flying at. I'd love to know. And yeah, join the group there. My favorite response, because you have to answer the one question, which is like, what do you like about it? I think it was last week, Brett, you were trying to describe a pyramid scheme.

And you called it like a triangle game. And someone missed it. and said, I'm just here to start a triangle game. I was like, what's that triangle thing that people do? I love that as a response. So yeah, make sure you answer the questions. And yes, I am giggling about all of them behind the scenes. All right, guys. You know the trip.

We're going to start charging for that. I remember tell you mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.