Life Uncut - Are Celebrities 'Renting a Womb'? And Britt's Twinkle Toes Announcement

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Hey Lifers! Lola turned 4 and Matt would apparently prefer a mango than... intimate time with Laura. Mangoes are particularly juicy at this time of the year though.Britt has been very busy for the last few weeks working on a secret project that she can finally reveal! We speak about how Ben felt when he first found out, why the show has such a spicy reputation overseas and how she's been going with her partner! Are celebrities 'renting' wombs?Surrogacy is nothing new to the celebrity world but the response to Lily Collin's baby arrival was quite unusual. Comments like: "Surrogacy becoming a trend between celebrities is one of the finest expressions of capitalism," and "You are so rich that you think you can use a woman as an incubator and you can purchase a baby." We unpack whether we feel differently about surrogacy if a surrogate is commissioned for non medical reasons. In a world where women are told they can 'have it all and be it all,' do we have a problem when a woman outsources her pregnancy? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys! Nah! Nah! No! Hi guys! No! I'm doing it! No! Hi guys! Hi guys and welcome back to...

No! I'm doing it! Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life's One Cut. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura. It's a big day today. It is. It's a very big day because Brittany has a huge announcement. We're not doing that yet. We're breadcrumbing it. In ten minutes.

It might be seven minutes, it might be fifteen minutes. Don't skip ahead because you have to hear all the other really exciting things we've got to talk about first. No, we have other big stuff first. It was Lola Derby's birthday. It was Lola's birthday. Do you know what I realized? Actually, maybe this is a really mean thing to say about your own child, but I'll say it anyway. Lola is the personality hire of our family.

She absolutely is. What? She is. You can't say that. She's so funny. She's like, she's the funniest, most charismatic kid I've ever met. She's just hilarious. She's very sassy.

lover yeah and I also have noticed yes that we've started a lot of episodes recently talking about Lola apologies I don't have a favorite child I don't have a favorite child she's my personality higher that you said that in the same sentence no but personality higher it's like a backhanded compliment because it means that like you haven't been hired for your skills in life like you don't bring anything else but you're a ball energy need I remind you she's four she shouldn't have skills Why did you look at me when you said that? Yeah, that was concerning. Was it pointed?

Are you saying Keisha's our personality hire? Keisha literally is the only reason why the lights are still on in this company. This company of four people. This company. This huge conglomerate that is Life Uncut. Yeah, P-T-Y-L-T-D. Anyway, guys, yeah, so it was Lola's birthday. She turned four.

It was very cute, although kind of sad because Matt wasn't there at the same time. That's okay. She hates Matt. Yeah. she misses him more than yeah she misses him more than I expected that she would like she goes through these like waves of where's daddy I miss daddy and then she's like shiny light so she's fine you know but so we had just her cousins and everything over we did a breakfast party and I think I have nailed it from like a parenting birthday party perspective you had mimosas

no no no mimosas but if you have like little kids don't do like a middle of the day several hours have people arrive at 9 a.m do some pancakes do some fruit and then they're out of your house by 11 like it was the perfect amount of time for having small children running around the house mind you it was all of her cousins like it wasn't like we had anyone else there but breakfast party it was great breakfast party and it means that they like they start the day on the high the only thing is is that by the time it finished which was 11 o'clock Lola thought that her birthday had finished so she kept asking me like is it still my birthday and I was like all day babe all day all day it is that was my little that's really cute but it does shock me that she's

four years old like I don't know how we got here already it shocks me that Marley's going to school and then when I think about the fact that we started this podcast the week basically she was born that's how all the podcast like that's how I that's how I track the podcast off Marley's age I do because I'm like how how old is again how old is Marley she's at school that's that's how i keep up life uncut is also going to school next week yeah we're going to school i did want to talk about one thing though so for anyone who's been watching i'm a celebrity so matt has obviously he's doing really well he's had some really funny conversations he's brought some very funny content last night so they've split the camp right now so now it's like women versus men which i have a lot

of feelings about in and of itself you know how they split it and they make like the camp is all friendly and everyone gets along. And then they do a challenge where only one half the camp gets to eat and the other half of the camp doesn't. Well, our split, I hated the split. Our split was like, quote unquote, oldies versus youngies. Like they split it for like the bottom half of the age group and then the top half of the age group, which I also didn't like. Not only does that suck, it also is just so offensive. Yeah. Like it's so offensive and it's not an even split. Well, it's kind of the same. This is like men versus women. Right. And last night the boys got the food and the girls didn't get

any food. And there was this one scene when Matt was eating a mango and everyone's been talking about how they wanted mango for dessert. Mango is like elite when it comes to like the fruit desserts. And he said that he would rather eat a mango than have sex with me live on national TV. Just, do you mean generally speaking or in that moment? I think in that moment, we can't be sure. No, I hope it's in that moment, which I can understand because the man has, He's hungrier than he's ever been. I feel that.

But if he means just like – if that was a blanket statement like just in life when he's at home that he'd rather choose a mango, then you guys have to have some serious discussion. It's really reminiscing of the whole radish conversation. Do you like a radish or sex? Well, if it's a good radish, I'd rather have that dish. But if it's a bad sex – I think of that woman more than I should.

She's really an icon. Yeah, she's my Roman Empire. She has her own TV show now. Yeah. She goes and travels and stuff and meets people in pools. I saw the promo for it. I meant to tell you guys. That's going to have to be my vibe.

But, Laura, like is there a piece of fruit that you would rather have than have sex with Matt? Yeah, mango. Zucchini. Long, skinny cucumber. I mean thick. Top end and bottom end. No, if I was going to eat a fruit over sex, to be fair,

there's quite a few. Depends on how tired I am. Any of them. I did. I didn't see him say that on the episode, but then I did see you post a mango and I was very confused. I was like, there's obviously a personal joke in there. Yeah.

I can't wait for him to come home and I'm just going to put a mango on his pillow and that will be the welcome home present. Here you go, sweetheart. I reckon Matt's in the final. I'm calling it. I reckon he could be a hot contender here for a crown. So if Matt makes it to the final, I think I'm going to fly over with the girls, which means, I mean, I don't know if I'm supposed to share that, but I didn't.

But it's Life Uncut's first day of school. What does it mean for us? I'll fly over with the girls potentially. but then the only thing about that is it means so Marley starts school she has two days of school and then I would be taking her out of school potentially to go to South Africa which I mean on one hand it's like these are memories they'll last a lifetime on the other hand it's also the assessment week where they figure out which class to put the kids into so she's a genius we know that she needs to go into the top one yeah she'll learn way more about animals in Africa than what

you would at school that's true sorry to any teachers no it is true i would say i mean not that anyone's asking my opinion i would say go for the experience just feels like kind of irresponsible to take a kid out of school on the second week it absolutely is it is isn't it but i will always have you back thank you put her in the safari as long as you teach some animal facts along the way well now that i've gotten out everything i have to say britney and your very important news that you want to share with everyone can i say i'm actually so excited for this because it is great for you but it's also great for everyone else well so for half of the people half lol definitely not half of you go and follow me on instagram for the people that do

follow me on instagram i did announce this last night so you will have already known this is not news to you it's not shocking but i do know a lot of you sneaky little people don't follow me on instagram so you would not have heard this i off the back of my horrific dancing with my fiance say, Ben, practicing dancing for our wedding, which if you did follow me on Instagram, you would have seen it's a disaster. I've been posting it. I got a call, a phone call from none other than Dancing With The Stars that said, we noticed your very sad attempt at doing a wedding dance and we would love to have you on the

show and help you along the way. So I am doing Dancing With The Stars! I'm sorry that you all have to relive this. We did live it with Laura a couple of years ago. Yeah, it wasn't great. It was great. I did my best, guys. You were a praying mantis on acid and that will always be in your heart.

That's true. You were great. I was thoroughly impressed. You just had one minor moment where you blanked. But other than that. What is a reality TV show that you wouldn't do, Bryn? I feel like every year you're like. Yeah, I do.

I love it, actually. I love reality. It's like, what else have you got, maths? Sign me up. I had, no. There is nothing else I'd do. There's nothing else left. I have rung a draft for everything it's worth.

Brits on deal or no deal. Oh, I'd love to go on that. No, I'm on, what is it, X on the Beach? Sorry, Ben. I wouldn't do anything else unless I was a host. Putting it out there right now, I would love to be a host of a reality TV show. Well, that's the only thing that's left.

So plug your Instagram. She's plugged wanting to be owned. What's involved in the dancing journey though? Because you have been looking really fit. you've been working really hard and get your little twinkle toes ready hang on before the reason i've just said hey i know there's a lot of you that don't follow me on instagram this still shocks me someone messaged me and this isn't the first time it's happened someone messaged me and or was a comment i can't remember damn or comment that literally said hey you've been a lifer for

years always wondered what you looked like that is what they said so there are people out there that just consume audio that don't, they're not in the news. They're not like, they're not on the Facebook group. They're not on Instagram. Like they just found the podcast and started listening for years. People that didn't grow up in the Bachelor community grow up. But you know what I mean? People that just stumble across the podcast the last few years

and started listening. And I thought that was fascinating. They were like, I always wondered what you guys looked like. And I finally thought, oh, I'll go and check. That's fascinating to me. I feel like it would be the minority though. Well, no. Follow me.

Okay. Plugged my Instagram. Tell us about what it's been like so far. So the training is pretty intense. Who have you been partnered with and how are you going? Well, it's very exciting. That's what I will first say. The response from Ben was really interesting.

So basically I didn't ask Ben because I didn't think I had to. I just was like, oh, my God, I'm doing Dancing with the Stars. And he was like, what? You've already said yes? And I said, yeah. And he's like, oh, but you didn't even like ask me. And I was like, well, I don't have to ask you. And he's like, no, you know what I mean?

He's like, well, you didn't even like tell me it was on the table. And I said, oh, well, yeah, it was an instant thing. And we had this discussion about it because he was a bit funny. And I said, do you not want me to do it? And we sort of broke down this discussion. He's like, it's not that I don't want you to do it. So Ben, whilst you guys know Ben is Swiss, he has grown up in the UK. He moved there from 15.

So his exposure to reality is UK reality TV. Totally. And it is very different over there. Like all TV that they do is different. So Dancing With The Stars in the UK is like pretty known for having this curse. They say that there's a curse because loads of them just cheat. Like loads of couples end up getting together, loads of people hook up. So he's grown up knowing that like it doesn't usually end well for a lot of couples.

So his first instinct was like, oh, but so much goes on on those shows. I think it's the same thing with Strictly Dancing. It's like another big one in the UK and that's kind of known as a benchmark that a lot of the participants end up hooking up with their dance partners. to be fair it has happened in australia i don't know if affairs have happened in australia but there's been lots of instances where the dancers have hooked up with their partners i mean even for example rachel finch is married to her dance partner from dancing with the stars and i know that there were even on matt's season there were a couple of the dancing partners who who hooked up

both of them were single so it wasn't like it was a big scandal but i understand why it happens if you were sexually attracted to the person like if you were paired with someone who you had a sexual chemistry with you are on top of them all day every day and so like i can understand why those lines would be what were you doing a dance training because you're like you're like up against them he's like we need to practice the worm again on top of me we call this one missionary i'm gonna lay here and you worm on you can have that or a mango take your pick to be fair though like i mean And no offence to my dance partner, but he was a lot younger than me and there was, for me, no sexual chemistry.

And so that was not something that I had to be worried about. However, when Matt signed up to do the show, I would be lying if I didn't have those thoughts. And that's because, as you guys might know or may not know, but I was like very early postpartum after having Lola. She was only a couple of weeks old and then Matt started training and his dance partner is like insanity. Ruby is her name.

She is so beautiful, but inside and out. She's just such a lovely, amazing, wonderful, fucking glowing human. Like if you were going to cheat. With a six-pack on her face. And I'm like, it's everywhere. The six-pack is from her toes to her head. And there I was like, ugh, with a kid on my tail. Obviously, it did not grow the foundations for security in myself.

So I certainly had moments where I was like, cool, I'll just stay home breastfeeding and running around after a two-year-old. You just go grind her. Great. Thanks. Just do the fucking salsa. And I totally get it. But at the end of the day, like I get why there are couples that hook up

and I think that is amazing. If you are not cheating on a partner, if you're going into this single and your dancer is single and you end up like Rachel Finch and marry him, that's amazing. Like who cares about the mirror ball? Everyone's a winner here. You've got your own balls. So I understand why Ben was like that.

One of my finest. Yeah, I totally understand and we definitely spoke about it and he, Ben is so on board. So I got paired with Craig who has been on the show many times. I think he's done it 10 times. This is his 10th season. Craig is a ballroom dancer, traditional training ballroom. His fiance is also on the show. So she's also a professional dancer. So they're both amazing, really lovely people. Did Ben feel more comforted and secure once he like found out who your dance partner was and found out that, you know, he was married to another dancer and they have a little baby together? Like, I think he felt secure before that. Like once we actually went

through it and we are very lucky that we're so secure in our relationship anyway he was never insecure same he was never insecure because he thought i was gonna do anything he was more just a bit taken aback and that's that's my fault i did just go in hard and be like i've signed up for this show and you know yeah i understand when he said that but yeah of course he feels better now that he also knows that his fiancee's on there and ben and craig like talk ben will facetime in and like watch some of the dancers and Craig says like they chat and it's all fine but it's been hectic as you know Laura so it's like you sign up and Laura had always said to me it's it's really hard you're like it's really hard and I was like yeah yeah I know it's going to be hard and then

you get in there and after a week of training I was like what have I actually done there is not one muscle in my body that does not hurt I hobble home at night I have to put my feet up I'm covered in blisters I can't move my body and I think I can't go tomorrow again because you've got to turn up like six days a week six seven hours a day of training yeah it's pretty amazing how like when you think about how incredibly fit the dancers are because you and that was my biggest thing that I struggled with was the length of the training I got so fit and I got so ripped so quickly but the length of the training your body hurts in ways it's never hurt before yeah you're like I didn't know I had muscles in my back there but there they are especially because he's like

point your toe more point point and I'm like it is pointed he's like stretch jump lean jump and I'm like I'm jumping I'm pointing I'm leaning I'm like I don't know what else I can do have you guys had any little tips yet no we actually haven't the only thing that we have clashed on and it's not even a clash but it's there's one particular move that I just can't get I just can't get it it doesn't matter how many times we're doing it I was like I can't do it and he's just so optimistic and nice he's like you can and I was like I can't I was like change it I'm like no I'm not pretending like I'm not being like oh it's so hard I'm never gonna get it I'm never gonna get it and then you're gonna like pull a cat out of the bag Britt did send a photo in our group chat of this

particular move and it's like a lift and basically it just ends with Britt my crotch in his face every time and there may be a reason why Craig wants to keep practicing it who knows but it is Just vagina straight to the face. And the screenshots are so funny because his eyes are always like scrunched closed and his face is pulling back from my crotch. But I send that stuff to Ben. Ben's literally like the poor guy. I'm like, what do you mean poor guy?

I'm like, what do you mean? You're like, you'd pay for this. I was like, yeah. You'd do anything for this right now. I would beg for this moment. To be fair, Craig does look repulsed. Completely repulsed. Ben did go, question.

And I was like, yes. And he's like, how long had it been since you'd showered from this moment and I was like Finn I'm repulsed a while but no it's it's a lot of fun and my first dance I can tell you my first dance is the cha-cha which is like super hard super fucking hard and really fast so fast but hot it's hot but it's so fast and so high energy I don't know what level I am either like I know that I've got rhythm naturally like in the club but I've never danced I've never actually been a dancer. I've never done a dance lesson in my life since I was five years old.

So I'm definitely finding my way. But there's some stuff I'm like, come on, like I nailed that. Then there's some stuff I'm like, I can't go out in the dance floor like this. There have been a few people lately in my DM saying like, what is your, please give us your fitness regime, like what your training is. I have definitely gotten fitter in the last couple of weeks and I have lost a little bit of weight and I know that people have been messaging me about that. And I can tell you that is why.

like it's not intentional but as you said Laura you can't help it all of a sudden you are doing six seven hours of exercise a day yeah it's really really intense training like I can't yeah it's just happening I mean the writing was on the wall you were either doing Dancing with the Stars or SAS like it was pretty obvious that's the only other one that's left or running ultra marathons which would never happen and that's why Delilah's been up at your parents oh yeah sorry people that think that like I'm the worst mom in the world because I haven't got Delilah yet. So I flew back from overseas and started training day one that I got back. So I haven't had a day to get her yet. And also her life is better right now in Port Macquarie with

my family. Cause like I leave at 6.30 in the morning, seven to come here. And then I get home at nine at night. Delilah's life is better eating salmon, roaming the free dog beach in Port Macquarie with other dog friends. So she's, trust me, that dog isn't going to want to come back she's because she's living a bloody good life i'll tell you that much when is it going to be on tv not until later in the year we don't actually have a date yet okay but it's it's happening now so they film it ahead of time but you can go and into the audience you can get tickets so if you guys are in sydney or you want to go in sydney go and have a look now because you can go and and come and watch the shows yeah life is get behind it we'll just have the whole

audience will be lifers unfortunately i don't think it's audience vote for the first few weeks it's only audience vote towards the end. Come from the third week, I think that's when the audience votes. Yeah. Is this like insider betting? Is this insider trading? Am I going to prison? Yes. For other reasons. Something that we've been talking about the last couple of days, the three of us, has to do with surrogacy and whether or not it's ever okay to judge someone's use of a surrogate. The reason why this has come up is because Emily in Paris star Lily Collins recently announced the arrival of her first child with her husband, Charlie McDowell.

They've named their little girl Tuva Jane McDowell. Spelled T-O-V-E. We originally did think it was Tove. Could be Tuve. We don't know. Tuve. Tuva? No, we did Google it.

It's like a Scandi name apparently. And we think it's Tuva. So they have had this baby off the back of surrogacy and the response in the comments was not your typical response that you would normally see to a beautiful baby announcement or welcoming a baby into the world. Their announcement message went like this on Instagram. Welcome to the center of our world, Tuva Jane McDowell.

Worlds will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way. We love you to the moon and back. There was a lot of criticism about this surrogacy. Comments like, surrogacy becoming a trend between celebrities is one of the finest expressions of capitalism. Other people wrote, rich people using women as an incubator. once again laughing my ass off and thirdly other comments like surrogacy harms impoverished women

people unable to conceive have the option of adopting millions of children that don't have homes yeah then there are comments like you're so rich that you think you can use women as an incubator a lot of people saying you purchased a baby exploiting another woman is business as usual for hollywood actresses what a sad world like this continued on and on and on to the point that lily's husband charlie came out and made his own statement he said it's okay not to be an expert on surrogacy, it's okay to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It's okay to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume. And it's okay to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby

girl who has brought a lot of love into people's lives. That's all for now because she just pooped and I need to go change her diaper. I can only imagine the feeling that they must have felt in their house to have announced the birth of what is obviously one of the greatest moments of their life and so much love just to be attacked endlessly because of the way the baby was brought into the world. Enough so that he felt he had to go out and defend his wife. It's pretty important to outline that Lily hasn't come out and explained why they chose to use a surrogate.

She wrote a book and a memoir a couple of years back and in that memoir she did say that she was very worried that her eating disorders may have made her infertile. But since then there hasn't been any medical explanation as to why she may or may not have used a surrogate. I want to make it clear. None of us think it's an expectation that she should share her medical history with us. But I do think that sometimes when you ask someone who is a celebrity, it is almost the public expectation that we fill in the blanks for them. Otherwise, we seem to take the worst option and we seem to fill in those blanks ourselves.

Surrogacy among celebrities is nothing new. We know Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have had two surrogacy babies. Rebel Wilson has had a surrogacy baby. Lucy Liu, loads of people. But I think the thing that's different about this is usually when somebody has a surrogacy baby, especially in the spotlight, there is usually a medical reason that is attached to it. Most of the time there's conversation around infertility or around high risk pregnancies. When Kim Kardashian had her third and fourth pregnancies, which were both surrogacy, she

said that her first and second were high risk. And I think with that explanation, it allows people to kind of have a little bit more allowance and a little bit more forgiveness as to why someone might opt into surrogacy. I'm not saying that that's right or wrong, but I'm just kind of trying to get to an explanation as to why the reaction in this sense has been so bad. But secondly to that, I think it's also because Lily Collins is objectively quite young. She's 35 years old.

She's in the prime of her career and people have made the assumption that the reason why she is chosen to have a surrogate isn't because it's medical reasons. It's because she doesn't want to stop filming Emily in Paris, which is just being recontracted for a fifth season. I would love to know from everyone listening, but also obviously from the two of you, do you think that surrogacy is viewed differently if the reason for it isn't because it's medical and it's because someone has chosen to do it off the back of either? And I don't want to say vanity as just it being singularly vanity for the fear of their looks or the fear of losing career opportunities because of the impacts of pregnancy, but of purely the choice that someone doesn't want to carry a baby, even though they biologically

can. When I saw Lily's announcement, I was like, how cute. She had a baby. It didn't bother me that it was surrogacy. I didn't care about the reason. I didn't wonder if it was a medical reason. I didn't wonder if it was because she wanted to continue filming or she had a contract. a hundred percent hand on heart. I looked at it and thought that's wonderful news for them. I'm

happy. And I moved on. Didn't cross my mind until I started to see the kickback that she received and then opened up the conversation. There is a big difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. That being altruistic surrogacy, you cannot be paid for. It has to be something that is like, I am giving you this gift. I am going to carry your baby. There can be no change of anything monetary. There can be no gifts. There can be nothing, but you are expected to pay for their medical bills whilst they go through it. That is the law in Australia. So it is illegal in Australia to have any form of commercial surrogacy. It's completely illegal in a lot of European countries like Italy and France and Sweden, like you cannot do any form

of surrogacy. Then we go over to America and we see that it is both legal for commercial and altruistic, but it is different state by state. The whole world, there is no regulation and there is no blanket rule for surrogacy, which is what makes it so complex. I think it's interesting because our first initial response to when we saw this was very different. I didn't think much about it, but I know Laura, for you and Keisha, for you, you were a bit iffy about it at the start. In no way am I iffy about it. I don't think that, like, I mean, everyone's experience of surrogacy is so different, but my reasoning is that I understand why people are feeling impassioned by it now. I think the increase in popularity of surrogacy has absolutely boomed

over the last three to four years. Actually, I don't think it, I know it. Statistically, the global market is now $18 billion and it's projected to rise to $129 billion by 2032. It is an enormously increasing commercial market, which is interesting of itself. We cannot deny that it is an incredibly privileged opportunity, that if you have the money and you have the ability to commission or to pay someone to carry. We hear a lot about the success stories around surrogacy, we see a lot of the announcement posts and the really beautiful moments of somebody who's been unable to have a child having that baby that they've so desperately wanted. But we don't often hear about the birthing woman's experience and what the impact of that was. And I know within

Australia, the reason why we don't hear about it that often is because surrogacy is actually super rare. Only a hundred women a year in Australia go through the process of surrogacy. It is, as you said, Brit, altruistic, it is a gift. But I think when you think about that, well, if only a hundred women are doing it, that's a very small portion of women who are willing to make that sacrifice as the ultimate gift. And the reason for that is, is because pregnancy puts a huge strain on a woman's body. It used to be the biggest form of death. The highest form of death in women was through childbirth. The long-term impacts of a complicated pregnancy go on for potentially forever for life. What if you have a pelvic floor tear or you have internal complications? There's

so many different things that can go wrong in a pregnancy. And I guess my question is, it's not just about the birth of the baby and the surrogacy, but also what is the expectation and obligation of the person who has contracted that surrogacy to take care of the long-term care of the birthing mother and whatever health implications they may experience off the back of that pregnancy and secondly to that there is often when it comes to commercial surrogacy there is often a financial disparity between the person who is commissioning it and the person who is offering to grow the baby for them and so I think that sometimes when there is that financial disparity and if it is poorly regulated then we get ourselves into a situation which is what these

comments say, where it is not liberating for women, but actually really oppressive for women who may already be oppressed. And I think the attitude of it has a little bit of this eat the rich kind of like reaction to it. However, I don't necessarily think that they are the ones who are going to take advantage of the situation. But I do think that we should be very aware that surrogacy for everyone is not a simple and joyful opportunity. And there are people who have either really traumatic birth experiences, really traumatic births themselves, like as in like the pregnancy, or maybe have felt a deep connection to the baby that they have grown. And then when it's come to this disassociation and handing over the baby, it's been way more

traumatic than what necessarily they expected it to be. There's a very famous case of a Ukrainian woman who was a surrogate of twins to a gay couple. And when that couple came over to Ukraine to pick up their babies, the woman was trying to escape hospital with them because she was so bereft about the idea of leaving the two children that she had birthed. And so there are instances of this. And I think that that's where people start to feel really impassioned about it. I was really trying to think about this last night because I'm trying to unpack within myself whether this is a little bit of internalized misogyny or what my reasonings for the judgment

is. And I know that some people will think I am being very, very judgmental out of this situation. but I was trying to think about why I seemed to have a problem with surrogacy if it was completely by choice, like for vanity or for other reasons that were not medical. And I ended up finding out that in Australia, you can only have a surrogate arrangement if there's a medical issue. So the actual words were the commissioning parents must be infertile or unable to carry a baby or give birth, or there is likely medical risk to the mother and baby if pregnancy is carried out. and so I was like okay so even the law in Australia recognizes that we seem to have more

of an issue with surrogacy if it is completely by choice why do I feel that way because I do feel that way and I'm trying to understand what the reasonings for that are one we seem to hate vanity we seem to hate it when people who are of such a privileged position can go I don't want to put myself through this I'm happy for someone else to put themselves through this but I'm going to reap the reward of that. In this sense, it feels particularly weird and a little bit gross to think that that reward is a child, you know? And so I kind of acknowledged that maybe that was why I felt a bit uncomfortable. And the second thing that I thought of was, okay, if some of these people who are choosing to have a surrogate for non-medical reasons is because they're not able

to take time off of work or they don't want to take time off of work, what does that then mean for the baby does that mean that the parent is also going to be so wholly consumed by work that the child will be raised by professional people you know by nannies by carers whatever that might look like why are they having a child you know if they don't actually want to take the time away to raise that child and and I even will probably contradict myself right here because I was really thinking about this and I was like we as women in the past probably what 40 years you know we've been told you can do it all you can be the working mum you can have the baby you can have everything and we're kind of we've put these expectations on ourselves to do everything and so I go well

if Lily wants to continue her career she's incredibly successful who the fuck am I to judge the fact that she's not going to give that up in order to have a baby she still wants to have a baby so even if it's not for a medical reason why do I judge her decision to do that and again we're implying that there might not be a medical reason there could be but why do I have a problem with the fact that she would choose that instead of sacrificing her career it probably is a little bit of internalized misogyny within me yeah I don't know if it's just internalized misogyny I think it is also a judgment on privilege because most women have to make that sacrifice the thing is is regardless of what you do for a career it doesn't just affect the Hollywood elite women have

to every day sacrifice parts of their career because they choose family and motherhood and so I think that there is part of us sometimes that feels it's unfair when someone else doesn't have to because they are so incredibly privileged that they can pay someone else to do something that means that they still get to have a baby and still get to have the family at the end of it but they don't have to do any of the inherent sacrifice that is normally required to have that baby and that family. But I also know everyday people. So I know multiple people that have done surrogacy and they've had beautiful experiences. And I know people that have done it that are famous. And I know people that have done it that are your everyday person. I know everyday people in

Australia that have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars that they didn't have. I'm talking like remortgaging houses, going down the IVF process and it hasn't worked. It would have been more likely to be successful and a quarter of the price for them to have done a surrogacy so there are there are definitely everyday people that are not privileged that are out there grinding to make it happen as well it's difficult arguing for the minority when the majority of people who go through surrogacy is because they have a deep and unfulfilled need and want for a baby that they cannot have themselves and and i also don't want us to brush over this and only talk about the negatives. There are so many cases of really beautiful moments of surrogacy that has been

beneficial and like fulfilling for both sides. And I would say majority within Australia, that is the outcome. There's been lots of women who have come out, documented both sides of surrogacy. I think it's when we have international surrogacy arrangements that have far less restrictions on them, that we see it being something that is a disadvantage to the women who are being used as the surrogates. I just want to point out that in that sentence you said for people who cannot have children and that's what I'm referring to. I completely support surrogacy.

I actually think that in Australia having only altruistic surrogacy complicates things because I think that if we had commercial surrogacy here in Australia, we're probably one of the best countries set up to have that because we have public health care. We could put a lot of legislation around it so that the surrogate mothers are really looked after and really cared for. And we have a public health system that could support it. I think that we are in a really, really incredible position. I'm specifically talking about if it is not a medical reason, there is no risk to the woman if she were to

fall pregnant. How do we feel about surrogacy when it is completely a choice? Can I bring it back to Lily Collins for one minute? Because I think the reason why we wanted to talk about this was because of the incredible reaction, the really negative reaction that was received by their surrogacy and baby announcement post. The thing is, and what it comes down to, is that, yes, she is a Hollywood star, but she did not share her reasons for surrogacy. And I think a bigger conversation about this is that we have an expectation that people explain to us their medical history for the reasons that they choose.

And Lily's come out and said, like, I don't owe you that. I don't need to tell you if there was or wasn't a medical reason. And I really understand that and respect that. it may have been a decision that that was completely just around her work and around her body but I think we're filling in a lot of blanks to assume that of someone and I think it could also have been the byproduct of her having severe eating disorders for her entire life and not being able to have children or having fertility issues for the past x amount of years we simply don't know but the reaction of people has come from the assumption that she's done it for the alternate

reason and I think that that's where it's unfair we should not expect celebrities to give us their medical history to validate the choices that they make but we do as a conversation we've had many times where it comes back to this parasocial relationship where we expect if you want to be in the public eye and you want us to know you we get to know everything about you which i mean i'm i'm saying that whilst that's the expectation i'm calling bullshit on it nobody owes you anything and i mean we've experienced this in the most minute ways in comparison but like i often think of this when i see this sort of stuff play out in media when we were unable to release some episodes early on in Life Uncut. We'd only been doing it for a couple of years and we'd taken two weeks

off or something or a week and a half off. And Keisha, this was before you joined us. So we didn't have a backup person who could step in and help. I wasn't equipped to do it solo. In the instance that one of us couldn't do it and I was having a miscarriage and the amount of messages we received, which told us how unprofessional we were because we hadn't released episodes, how like, you know, telling us that we weren't taking our jobs seriously, even though we had released commentary saying you know law is unwell we're not able to put out episodes for the next little bit it was an expectation that we just showed up and did it

anyway or we gave more of an explanation as to why i mean that is the the smallest drop in the ocean in comparison to what an actual hollywood celebrity would feel but i don't think that people owe us full exposure into the reasons and the decisions that they make the decisions they do that I also think maybe the reaction and the severity of the reaction comes from the surprise baby. So there hadn't been any conversation on her social media about her having a surrogate. No one knew that she was having a baby. She was just filming Emily in Paris and socializing and looking like she was living this incredible life. And then all of a sudden, here's a baby. As someone who does experience this parasocial relationship that you've just described, Britt,

there's this complete disconnect where like you've just gone from not having a baby never speaking about a baby never speaking about surrogacy to all of a sudden overnight saying that you've had a baby and I think it's almost like an emotional mental whiplash that people experience when they think they know someone imagine if she was getting the hate she's getting now but for the last six months which is all that would have happened if she announced that hey we're on our surrogacy journey this just would have been amplified for the last year of her I truly believe no not just that, what would have happened is the press and the public would have gone looking for the surrogate. And so I understand objectively people are like, hey, you haven't spoken about your

surrogacy journey. But the reason why people who are in the public eye don't speak about it is for privacy and protection of the surrogate themselves. So I think that that's something really important to keep in mind. I wouldn't if I, you might just see a baby one day from me. I might just walk in here one day and be like, here's my baby. I think she's going to announce Dancing with the Stars and she's like, no, very different adventure. I couldn't have a baby because I was doing a reality TV show. It's Britney's next reality TV show. I don't know. I'd be so interested to know what everyone else's opinions and takes are around this. Like we said, it's challenging to have strong opinions on something if you don't have skin in the game. And I know that there are

so many women across Australia who have benefited so hugely from surrogacy, but I would love to know and hear from anyone who either has alternate opinions or who has had alternate experiences themselves, because I think it's a really fascinating conversation and it is something that is increasing year by year, month by month. And we are going to be seeing far more surrogacies in the future. It's time for Accidentally Unfiltered. And today I'm bringing one that I was literally told this morning by my friend and I nearly died of laughter because I just imagined myself in this situation. It's almost takes me back to how Accidentally Unfiltered originated six years ago. If you have an embarrassing story for us though, send it,

slide into the dms so we need them think of us as soon as that horrible thing happens go you know who'll enjoy this the girls so my friend my friend was telling me that this was uh a couple of years ago before voice notes really were a thing you know how a lot of people voice message now it's like normal text it's normal it's so annoying people who send a fucking three minute voice message i'm like that's a podcast episode text me but this is before it's like it was the new thing people weren't doing it on the regular anyway she had gone on one or two dates with this guy really fucking liked him like but it was very early and they hadn't hooked up they hadn't slept together I think they'd kissed on the at the door on the way home and you know

when you're like you're into them more because you're like oh like this is gonna be hot like there's so much chemistry and like sexual connection and whatever but it hasn't happened yet so you're dragging it out and so they were in the flirty stage of messaging and whatever she obviously had the text message open she went went to the bathroom did her business left and then she looked down at her phone and she saw that she had voice recorded pissing in the toilet next so she just was weeing so you hear it going lid goes up flush flush leaves god knows what else so then she gets to the kitchen and she realizes what she's done she's like fuck and then you know when you're going to panic mode she's like i need to fix this

voice they were not at a stage of voice messaging each other ever she'd never even sent a voice message so she just sent herself wings so she's like i need to fix this so she she does another voice message and she's making a cup of tea and she's like i've just been making some tea and she's like swiveling the water around in a teacup and she's trying to cover the fact that she, weird voice message. So all of a sudden she's doubled down and she's like, oh, hey, how are you? You've just been making some tea and I'm just hanging at home and, yeah,

it's just like, hang on, sorry, the jug's boiling. And she was like, stop it. So she doubled down, sent it. He sent it back. That's not tea. I know that wasn't tea. They never spoke again. They never spoke again.

They never spoke again. What did you just say? He literally wrote, I know that's not tea. It's pee. I'm so dead. But do you think he thinks she did it on purpose? Yes. Why didn't you just say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, the voice.

Why didn't she just own it? There's something that turns you off when you're in the early stages and someone sends you a recording of them wetting them, like piercing. I wonder if it was worse and she just dialed it down for the conversation. I also do. There might have been some butt-shooting. Who knows what it was, but she voice messaged. She might be telling you fib.

She might have had diarrhea. Can you? But also, imagine thinking that your cover-up was, I'll pretend I'm making tea. You just have to own that stuff, guys. If you've learned anything from this podcast, it's okay. Just own it. There's nowhere to go. If you own it, there's nothing he can say.

If you say, I accidentally, that was, oh my God, the app was open and I accidentally voice recorded that, I am dying. Please don't think I'm insane. I've told you guys this a few times over the years, but if you knew, I probably haven't told you in the last couple of years. remember I was going on a date with this really hot semi-famous guy. And this was when I was just a hospital worker. Like I was just an everyday person. Someone set us up. You're still an everyday person, Britt, just FYI. Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like I understand now that we're

like- Keep you humble, babe. No, but I understand we're in the media now. But what I'm saying is I hadn't done The Bachelor. This was pre-everything. I was just this little grommet in my scrubs at work. It was pre your grand tour of reality TVs. It was pre my reality tour. Absolutely. I remember I was so I couldn't believe that this guy was going on a date with me and I couldn't believe I was actually going to go and see this guy and I was so excited that I screenshot our whole conversation to send to my friends oh yeah because he had sent me a selfie like what are you doing today he'd sent me a selfie we're chatting and I screenshot it with the selfie and the chat and I just sent it back to him I sent the whole message back to him and I in that moment I was like I've

got two options burn my phone never speak to him again or just own the fact and I just had to be like oh well you got me I was like sending that to my friends or something like that I was like and then I was like are we still going on the date or I've ruined it haven't I I just was like did you ruin it did you go awkward turtled out no we still went I have had that happen but in the reverse a dude screenshot my profile and sent my profile back to me and I was like clearly that was for someone else wasn't it and he was like you got me but it gave me the ick so I didn't go on the date did it yeah I got the flex that means he's like yeah look at this babe I'm going on a Yeah, but I didn't like guys who really liked me.

I didn't like guys who treated me bad. So, like, I needed him to be like. You would have been better if he sent you a message and was like, look at this fucking bitch. Literally, I would have been like. You would have been like, panties are off. Get on over here. This is my address.

Change him. I will change him. I do. I will marry you. You just wait and see. I'm going to make you fall in love with me. And then you'll cheat on me. Just wait.

And it's going to be so hot. Then we'll get back together. Imagine the makeup sex. For at least on and off for six years. Can't wait. Fuck. I am the problem. it is me anyway it is time for suck and sweet brit what is your suck of the week oh well now

i can talk about dancing my suck is it's really dangerous so i got like accidentally punched in the head yesterday i kicked my partner in the head yesterday i come back with bruises all over me ben's like what is that bruise on your thigh i'm like it's dancing i swear so i'm getting really knocked around there my sucks my sweet of the week was i went on like a really nice like i just Fuck, I haven't been doing anything lately because, you know, the dancing takes up everything. I've been really like a bit of a loser and so I went out with some of – Laura was busy.

She was at the RSL. But I went out with Keisha and Mitch and some friends on a boat on the weekend and it was really nice and wholesome just to like be on the water, beautiful, socialised, good food. It was just a really nice time. I wish I was joking but like – You were at the RSL. I had a family dinner at the RSL club and all of these guys were on a boat

and I had to take the kids, which is hard because I'm solo parenting. So, like, when I've made a choice to do something with the kids, I can't then turn around and be like, you're getting a babysitter because mummy's going on a boat. You could. Yeah, but that would be bad parenting. Yeah. So I didn't and I took them to the RSL club and I had nachos

while you guys were on a fancy boat. But what's yours, Lois? All right, my suck for the week, I mean, my suck for the week is a pretty obvious one. As much as we had a great time for Lola's birthday, it was quite sad missing out on like a monumental family milestone without Matt being there and also this week Marley starts school so she starts school on Thursday and Matt's not there for her first day of school and like I feel like as much as he's always present and he's like such a plugged

in dad these are two really big things that he's missing out on and so this is probably the first time with him being away that I've kind of I don't know the right word is because I'm not resentful for it but I just feel like it's really sad that he's missing these things because you kind of you spend every day with your kids like you're building up to these big monumental moments and school especially like first day of school is a massive deal don't resent him but no it's not no but like the right word I definitely hold it over him for sure that's what I would I would like throw it around for the next couple of years like I feel sad for him I think is what it is I feel like I feel disappointed for him and not disappointed in him but I feel sad that he's

missing out on something that's so special that's that's probably the feeling yeah and my sweet for the week is that we went to the Cirque du Soleil uh which is in Sydney it literally finishes this weekend so unless you're like don't go no no opposite unless you're in Sydney and you're like fucking hell-bent on going to the circus like you've got limited time to go so it's not really a recommendation but it was incredible we took Lola for her birthday look for she was probably a little bit young but Marley loved it so much that she was in tears when it finished like she was bawling her eyes out because it was easily the most magical thing that I've ever seen and for like a little five-year-old to just get her brain around what she was watching on stage was

completely amazing the contortionist was a bit weird but apart from that the rest of it was phenomenal can't do a contortionist no I haven't been to the Sydney one but I've been to the Cirque de Soleil a few times at different places around the world because it's like a touring like well this one's a special it's Cirque de Soleil Luzia but it's only doing Sydney so then it goes to Like New York or somewhere, so. Yes. So I have seen that one many years ago in Sydney. They're amazing.

But the only thing I would say off the back of that, Laura, is if anyone does go in the next week, like get an Uber close and then walk because you got stuck in the car park for like an hour. Mate. Yeah, that's a story for another day. I'll tell it. So just like just don't go and park there if you're going to go. I had some real road rage.

I'm so sorry if you were at the entertainment quarter on the weekend because I may have ran my window down and told a man to go fuck himself out the window. But that's a whole story for next week's episode. Let's go. So anyway, guys, that is it from us. We hope you loved the episode. Please go and leave a review if you did.

Also, we have noticed that people leave comments on Spotify, and we love that. We're going to get on to the comments because we're always finding out new things about this podcast that we didn't know existed. So here we are. Anyway, you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends, and share the love because we love love.

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