Life Uncut - Are you speaking my Love Language

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Today we are Talking Love Languages and we don't mean dirty talk!Based off the best selling book by Garry Chapman the The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, we are unpacking what your love language means and how to navigate your own relationship when your love language may differ from that of your partners.Hint: It all comes down to communication people!If you want to do the Love Languages test for yourself - click hereThrow in some accidentally unfiltered stories and you have yourself one very spice little Life Uncut episode.If you love the episode and love hearing us talk, be a legend and hit 5 stars, leave a review, subscribe and share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guys, welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I am Laura. And I was like, hold on, I have something that I need to ask you. Before we get into today's episode, Britt, I feel like you've got a little bit of explaining to do. Oh, hang on. What about? There's a multitude of things that I need to explain. Currently, you're making out with a man named Tim on our TV. Oh, that? Yeah. Let's talk about it you're surprised how do you feel oh like a bit betrayed are you were you expecting that no not expecting it like very surprised but but I loved Tim on Angie season he was my absolute favorite I was kind of like a little bit jilted that Angie didn't

choose Tim so now it's kind of weird it's just weird it's I feel betrayed that you haven't told me all of these things and I know that I know they told you I didn't want to know and I kind of like put that between us but now that it's happening on TV I feel like I have been robbed and so has everybody else who is being invested in this podcast Brit on our on our Facebook discussion group a lot of you guys are like trying to figure out what has happened and you're all doing the investigation work I actually saw that someone had posted in our Facebook group a photo of Brit's house and a photo from wherever Tim has been and was trying to like match the locations they were trying to match the timber it was insane the timber I thought you were making

a pun there oh oh my god Tim Tim they were trying to match the Timber I thought that was insane but I love um the effort that you guys are going to I like the sleuthing guys it's very very dedicated um when Brit went and did Paradise we I I made the like conscious and committed effort that I don't want to know anything because I think that that could then compromise our ability to do this podcast properly and part of the rules around Brit doing Paradise is that she can't talk about it any more than what actually happens on the TV so I didn't want to be then in a position where I knew things and it would just be a fucking shit sandwich so we just didn't go there so I'm finding out this stuff at the same time that you're finding it out and it makes me feel just

as weird as it makes you feel that's how I feel about this the end but anyway I'm excited about Tim and I know that you can't say a lot more yeah you were actually really good and thank you because you didn't put any pressure on me because you know that I can't say it but I wanted to you never asked me you never drilled it into me so I appreciate that because it's been a long long time to keep something like this to yourself obviously I can't talk about it guys there are rules you'll have to just follow along and have some fun but I can say there is such a sense of relief that we're at least one step closer to I'm almost I almost want to say freedom like I can just live my life again because you do have to keep your life a secret for a very long time whether you're

with the person or you're not with the person your life gets completely put on hold because you can't publicly be like hey we're together and we love each other but you also if you aren't together you can't be like hey we're not together and I want to go out and date and continue my life you have to almost just like you just have to be in this really neutral space where your friends and family around you don't actually know what's going on in your life and it really makes you put your life on hold which I don't think a lot of people who haven't done the reality tv thing especially the bachelor thing would even know that that is the case but everything gets put on hold between when filming finishes and when you're actually able to be out in the world

absolutely it's a long long haul guys but it's exciting it's finally happening I can say Laura I was as surprised as you I was very surprised but that's it guys come along for the ride I can't say anything else about it And Timothy, if you're listening and you're mean to Brittany, I'm going to cut your bloody balls off. Daily Mail's going to have a field day with that. Come at me, brah. Just in case you're going to write an article about this Daily Mail,

please also put in there that I said I am joking. No one will be harmed. Yeah, because you realise that is called castration and it is illegal in most countries. Yes, yes, minor detail, minor detail. Minor technicality. Oh, moving along. What's been happening in your week?

Well, thank you for asking. So this week has been a little bit interesting. I got the flu and I feel like anybody who gets the flu now, the first thing you're like, it's COVID. I can't leave my house. I can't do anything. So I got the flu, Matt got the flu, Marley got the flu. Oh, gosh.

Matt sent me out as the sacrificial lamb to go and get COVID tested. Of course he did. Take one for the team, honey. Yeah, he wouldn't go. He wouldn't go. And we had to go down to Wollongong on the weekend to go see my Nana for her 90th birthday. and I was like well we have to go see her like it's it's been a big year for us and I couldn't

not see her obviously I needed to know whether I was like hugely contagious and got this killer virus so anyway I had a cotton bud shoved into my brain swabbed around I mean up your nose as far as you can possibly push something it goes into your nose they swab it around and then they pull it out and then they go on in and do the second side I haven't had it obviously in the hospital I've seen it it was the most penetration I've had in a while there she is ladies and gentlemen there is Laura Byrne oh god Daily Mail is really going to enjoy this episode so obviously came back positive uh I came back negative I do not have COVID I went down and saw my nan on the weekend so like I said it was my nan's 90th birthday which was a really big deal for us because my

my grandfather passed away earlier this year and they've been together for 67 years since since my nan was wait I'm gonna be really bad at maths they've been together since my nan was 17 and so this was her first birthday without my papa so it was it was a really happy day but it was also it was also a really sad day as well that is huge when you think about it when you think of being without one human since you were 17 you don't know life you don't remember life without them I mean this was a podcast topic that we were kind of considering for today's episode but it's not the podcast topic that we're doing but it really got me thinking about this idea of loneliness and I know that my nan is feeling lonely

as much as she's surrounded by my mom and my auntie and as much as we try and call her and see her as much as possible, I really understand that there's like a hole now in her life that can't be filled. That I think is a topic that we should talk about at some point in time. But like I said, it's not the topic for today.

That was my week. That was my weekend. It's been a little bit of sick, a little bit of nan and now it's a little bit of you. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know. Are we all in the same group there? you're putting me in with your sickness and you're all the downer hey come on my nan's not

that down but she's very old 90 it's a good trot do you know what else is happening in my life guys tell us and something that uh that's really been um just keeping me up at night i have a mullet i have a fucking mullet well this happens to a lot of people who have children you lose a lot of your hair after giving birth but what no one tells you is when the hair starts to grow back like a full-on tiger king mullet i okay i'm gonna tell you the joe exotic that is who i look like it's not as bad as you feel i'm gonna be honest it's there can i just say it's not as bad as you think is not good i'm not here to tell you lies i'm a real friend no let's not sugarcoat it yes it's there is it great no is it terrible no i actually walked in today and said you look good

like it's like a cute fluffy halo it's it's a lot yeah it's a mullet um and I know that yeah no but they don't I know that my other mums out there will understand what I'm talking about right now I had put a photo up on my Instagram a couple of months back when it first started growing back but it's it's really worse now so maybe I'll need to do a follow-up but anyway that's my life in a nutshell Brittany how the hell are you talk me through this first before we move on I don't have a baby and I'm just I'm just want to show you now what is this hair that's happening for me because I have what you have but without the kid look at that without the kid look at that it sticks out 90 degrees it stays up like I've been electrocuted that looks like a visor to a hat

that's what I mean it's hectic all right Brit how has your week been oh babe do I have a story for you for all of you that follow along on my Instagram you would have seen that I moved this week um if you didn't see that and you don't follow me I guess why why not it's Brittany underscore Hockley get on that yeah just give yourself a plug babe yeah sure go for it well you would have seen my shenanigans so I moved on the weekend and let's just say it didn't quite go to plan I take the day off work right because obviously you have to be there to move I've taken the day off work and I'm hectic I've got a lot of little jobs going it's a big deal for me to clear a whole day's schedule you're a busy woman so i'm i'm a busy woman i'm at the property things to do

i'm at the property might even have a boyfriend maybe i do i don't know i mean i know i'm at the property and i'm waiting for all my stuff to arrive time an hour ticks past couple more hours tick past neck minute it's the end of the day i am on the blower hey guys Brittany here just wondering where my stuff is oh Brittany I can see yes we're delivering tomorrow what do you mean you're delivering tomorrow today is my moving day no no we can't do today we're doing tomorrow why didn't you call to confirm this I did it was the biggest I went back through I have paperwork which I forwarded them and showed them I was like no look I can see our communication trail here it specifically says we'll not be at the property any other day

other than this day this is they were booking it in they wrote back anyway they didn't come it was disaster so i just take a big breath you know can't change this now let's let's crack on my brother-in-law bless your soul jay so my sister's partner my sister was working and he came down to help me build some stuff you know i'm all about being independent but there's some stuff you can't do on your own so he came down to help me build like flat flat pack flat pack Versace flat pack fucking Ikea is one of those things that you can't do on your own yeah I told you it was Versace you know that you're an adult when you have no Ikea furniture in your house like that's my benchmark for being an adult so I'm definitely not there yet babe I'm 32 and I just built two

Ikea flatbacks what are you saying I think you're not an adult yet pretty much continue so we're building this flat pack we get to the very end and we real and it's so late at night we realize that there's a piece missing it's broken we can't finish it without it we can't finish it and I'm like of course we can't finish it so bless your soul Jay Jay's like I'll go pick up some pieces at Ikea he calls ahead he sits on the phone for 40 minutes to make sure it gets it It's like closing time and he's on the road to Sydney, across Sydney to get this stupid piece of timber. I'm back home still building on my own.

It's a shame that he's dating your sister. Why? Well, because he would be the perfect boyfriend. Yeah, he is for my sister. That's a shame. Okay, so we go to bed. No, we don't go to bed. We both independently go to our houses and go to bed.

Next morning we get up and obviously this is now the delivery day. they call me first thing in the morning they're not supposed to come until midday they said that the day we're going to come at midday so i'm like brilliant i haven't slept in past six o'clock in weeks i'm sleeping in i get a call at quarter to seven hi we're here with your furniture what like what why and i'm like oh my god okay so i i run down so i'm like i'll be there because i didn't stay at the house because i couldn't build the shit so i'm back in my old property so i'm like i'll be there in five minutes just getting a coffee run down got this the furniture now i got this huge fridge so this huge fridge all my white goods washing machine are delivered i'm standing

there by myself they pull it up a flight of stairs it's so big in its packaging it can't even fit in the door they not exaggerating they park it at the front of my door and they say hey because of covid we can't come in the house thank you bye and they walk away no i'm not kidding i'm standing there by yourself yeah i'm standing there by myself with a huge fridge and it can't fit in the door that's in the corridor blocking my neighbor's entrance then there's a washing machine and i just stand there like i just can't believe it i'm actually gobsmacked so i go and knock on my neighbor's door and i'm like hey neighbor he comes out and help me jay comes down again and we're trying to get this stupid white goods in we eventually get it in and i'm like

how can this get any worse it can't oh god i plug the washing machine in brand new everything's set up go to a cycle and it just floods it floods everywhere my whole bathroom is done i've gone for a swim. I put a snorkel on. I just embraced it. I saw this on your Instagram stories. I'm going to say that you didn't put the plug into the washing machine. I'm going to say some of this was your fault. It absolutely was not. It was not. Guys, I put this on my Instagram, right? I'm like, SOS, it's flooding out. I can't tell you how many people, hundreds, you guys have no faith in me. Hundreds of people wrote, how about you try turning the tap off, doll? Oh, like I didn't try that guys I appreciate your support but of course I turned the tap off but you did

admit to me earlier that you just that you just fucking pulled the plug out and just let the apartment flood I had to I had no choice I didn't know what else to do where I did let myself down was that I did this process three times because each time I thought I fixed it so I did a cycle again and it wasn't fixed why did you keep persevering I think there's a saying which is like fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me three times I'm a fucking idiot I felt like I need to go to Ikea and buy a bucket firstly I don't think that's a real saying you made it up um no I think it's pretty pretty accurate actually okay let me just talk you through it I just felt like I had something to prove to myself like I'm I mean on my own

I don't need someone in this house with me I don't need a man right now I can do it but I couldn't and i had to accept defeat i went to bunnings the next day got some tools i cannot wait to see your apartment and i really hope that your landlord doesn't listen to this podcast i had i did have a breakdown i did sit in the puddle for a while and i cried and i just i had to let it out because it'd been a very stressful few days then i got my shit together i got changed because i was wet and kept going on my merry way bloody hell i know what a what a doozy i'm exhausted same I'm not moving for the next 25 years well I'm I'm proud of you I feel like when you're moving and you're on your own it's one of the times where it really highlights how it would

be very nice to have a man around oh absolutely and like I'm all for I can do this on my own but there are literally physically some things you can't do on your own and it's those frustrating things it's like I really was I just really need to lift this to put something under it for example but I can't there's so much I can't do because you just need a second body there it's not even a man it's a second body but it makes you so much more like it makes you so much more adaptable and resilient like you want to do things on your own whereas I feel like now because I have Matt it's made me so lazy I don't do anything I'm like oh the tv is broken he's like you've got to turn it on Laura I'm like fuck up can't figure it out you better do that pal it's broken again it's just

made me so even like with my computer I'm gonna turn into one of those old people that don't know how to use technology purely because anytime I need to do anything I'm like Matt fix it that's what i do with you i'm like laura i can't log on to this thing what does that mean i'm literally your boyfriend you're my boyfriend i'm your boyfriend yeah you are you are anyway that's where we are so that was it so i'm in guys but i'm i'm far from settled hopefully it will come i've got a time to be alive guys all right let's get into our favorite segment for today's episode we're going to be talking about love languages now it's a topic that i'm sure you've heard about at some point in the past but maybe we're going to talk about it with renewed and refreshed

information. Maybe not, but we hope that we can bring it to you in a new interesting light. But before we get into that, we're going to do our favorite part of the episode, which is accidentally unfiltered. And that is when you guys write in your most embarrassing stories. And we laugh at you. That's pretty much it. Favorite pastime. And Laura, you've got a goodie this week. It's also really nice when we laugh at you and not at me, which for a change is, you know, it's a brilliant change. That's good for me. All right. Let me find this one. Let me find this bad boy. I've always found it nice. Okay. That was a hard sentence, wasn't it? Fuck you. I've always found it nice to keep some succulents by the window. They're easy to care for and they add a little bit of

greenery to your room. Back in October, I decided I'd spend $35 on a set of four small succulents. I know succulents don't need much water, so I'd only water them once every three weeks or so. I found it odd that the water didn't really disintegrate into the soil. Instead, it kind of just sat on the top in a little pool and then it absorbed in. But anyway, I figured that they were small and they don't need much water. I left over Christmas and I was worried about my succulents and how they were going to hold up without any water. Much to my delight, I came back and they looked as healthy as ever. Just as the day I bought them, how resilient this little plant is. i continued watering the succulents for months each month this is a long one guys stay with me

but i'm here for it i continued watering the succulents for months each month giving just the right amount of water that would float on the surface for a little while and then would absorb into the soil i must be doing a great job i thought because they still look so awesome after eight months of purchase i took real internal pride in my little succulents until the day i left on a holiday and got my housemates to take care of them anyway i don't know where this is going but i'm laughing anyway i was overseas when i received a facetime call from my housemate who said are you fucking kidding me your succulents are plastic she even then said look if you look closely you can see the glue which she pointed out to me

and yep there it was the glue on the bottom of the succulent anyway it turns out that i've just spent eight months watering for little plastic succulents fuck my life I love that so much because I feel like there are a lot of girls that would be in this position no I don't think there are but I actually love it I'm trying to be optimistic I think that this is this is like the sweetest most inoffensive accidentally unfiltered that we've ever received it's also one of the dumbest but I love it so much I love it so much like I like it after eight months you never questioned why it hadn't grown that's the thing that really gets me it's a real kicker What did she think the chunks of shiny, thick glue were?

Plants can be really realistic these days. Those plastic plants, sometimes I get fooled. I think I need to get plastic plants because I cannot keep my own alive. Anyway, that was – I enjoyed that. Brittany, do you have an accidentally unfiltered for me? Well, mine's not as funny now. What? Oh, my God.

The amount of messages that we get every week because of Brittany's laugh is – honestly it's like one of my favorite things to read in the reviews it's one of my favorite things to read in the facebook group but brit your laugh brings me and everybody who listens to this podcast so much joy i just want to like really make you aware of how great it is and i i think the half the time i laugh i'm not even laughing at what's been written in i'm laughing at you i i guys i don't know if i ever told you this there was once a day where i tried so hard to contain my laugh and and not let it be who it wants to be i wasn't letting my laugh be its best self i wasn't because i was so embarrassed by it because it's pretty in your face and it's

pretty loud and i always used to hide it i remember when on the bachelor originally my family were like brit do your best to try and keep that laugh under wraps and now i've just let i can't control it like it's just it's out it's living its best life it's very staccato and it really punctuates the air but i think every single person who hears it every single person who's hears it is here for it i'm here for it okay well i just want to reassure you that i am here for it okay and i'm i appreciate that thank you for your support you're welcome okay now bring me an accidentally unfiltered i have a goodie for you bear with me because i'm just going to summarize this story so this girl's driving to her boyfriend's house and she's driving her mom and her dad over because

they're going to have like this great family little bonding dinner now because she's driving she's giving her mom a phone and she's like text my partner text the guy on my behalf so they're Doing really innocent texting and the mum's reading out what he's saying and he's like, do we need pasta for dinner? Do we need this? Do you need me to pick up this? And she's saying, just write this back, mum, write this back, and it's a super innocent conversation.

Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he decides to go rogue and sends a photo of his dick with those little googly eye things that you can get for arts and crafts. and he stuck the eyes on the end of his penis and sent the photo in the middle of it like do we need pasta for dinner to the mom because he doesn't know the mom's texting oh my god the mom has screamed basically thrown the phone she's like i just i just saw a photo of your partner's dick with eyes on it i don't know what's happening we can't go to dinner what and she's like what do you mean you just saw a photo of his dick and she showed her the photo she's like oh my god

anyway they're almost at the house so they're mortified they're like what do we do pull it together let's just have dinner so they're trying to i want to know if the guy knows about this no so they're not they're only just getting to the door and they're like pull it together let's get through this dinner so they get in there at the dinner table no one says anything the whole time the guy is just having a great old laugh he's trying to like impress the parents he's trying to make them laugh and have a good old time no one says anything then when they get up to leave and they walk out the door, he hears the mum say, but I don't understand why he put the eyes on her.

Wait, so that's how he found out? He just overheard them walking out of the house, talking to each other, being like, I still just don't understand why he put the eyes on her. Oh, my God. And then also obviously he hears this, she comes back in, he's like, babe, want to explain that comment? Like he would just think that she'd shown her mum a dick pic.

Like, hey, mom, look at the googly-eyed dick pic I just got. So this is who you meet, and he's got great abs, nice hair, likes long walks on the beach, and this is his dick. Oh, my God, and he's really funny. See, mom? See, he's so funny. Mom, he's got really great eyes. Look.

Maybe we should get into the topic for today. Yeah, okay, on that note, sorry about that, guys, but we're going to jump right in, hey? Thanks for writing those in. Keep sending them because we actually, as you can tell, love them. they make our day so keep them coming let's get into the topic we actually had a request for a full episode of accidentally unfiltered which maybe next time we have to do a bonus episode that is what we're gonna do we're gonna just put together and save some of the absolute best

which is kind of like the worst stories and put them into an episode just for you if anyone would like that maybe send us a dm and tell us if that's something that you would want hit us up on instagram because you guys have got to send us yeah we need your dirtiest stories you can send Just those stories that you say to yourself, I need to bury this so no one can ever, ever hear it. That's what we want. Like maybe you lost a butt plug and spent seven hours in the shower trying to find it. I want to know about this.

I want to notice more about the eye dick pics. So guys, we did mention that we're going to talk about love languages today. And I think that that's a really cool, fun, important topic. And I don't know if anyone has ever done the tests or anything like that. You can find out what your love language is. We will get into that in a minute. but we thought this would be a really nice topic to go back to and just really delve into what makes you tick, what makes your partner tick. It's also a really nice topic to kind of follow

on from last week's big episode, which was our breakup Bible. And that is because often a lot of relationships break down because you have mismatched love languages and you're not really communicating, receiving or feeling love because maybe your partner's displaying it in a way that's not a way that you feel loved by, if that makes sense. It will make sense because we're going to get into it but also if you're single and you're looking for a new relationship these are things to really be aware of and conversations to have early on in a relationship so that you can make sure that you're growing together and that you're both satisfying each other's love language which is how people really feel and receive love everything in the world is changing and it is a really hard time

for love right now it's it's a hard time to find new love it's a hard time to maintain the love you're in it's just it's a really really tumultuous time which is why we thought it'd be nice to delve into it. So there are five love languages and the concept of this stemmed from New York Times number one best-selling book titled The Five Love Languages. It's written by a man called Dr. Gary Chapman and it's an approach to showing and receiving love that will help you experience this deeper and richer level of love and help you maintain love for a longer period of time. So we're going to get into what the different five love languages are then we're going to talk a little bit about what our love languages are and also if you haven't done it yourself we really

recommend going and doing the test online. Literally, if you just type in love languages test, you can then sit down. It takes about five minutes, maybe 10 minutes. I don't know. It depends on how slow you read, but you can find out what your love languages are. It also gives you the opportunity to do that with your partner to better find out what love language they are. And it's also just a really interesting conversation to have with them after. And also then kind of like pick out the little bits and pieces of your relationship that maybe you could both be working on better together well yeah because the fact is we all have different personality types and this means that we feel love and give love differently so this is why it's really important

to figure out what your type is and what makes you tick so that you know you and your partner can have this healthy relationship before we get into all the love languages brit what is your like number one love language my number one so did you do the order because it tells you like the order yes i know my order yeah okay so my number one oh why don't you guess it yours is touch yes it is well done and then it is words of affirmation no incorrect words of affirmation came in third so my order was physical touch acts of service words of affirmation quality time and then receiving gifts was last what yeah it's like i can't even date you i don't even know you at all well you got my first one all right do you want to know mine yeah can i guess i reckon your first

one would have been knowing where you are in life right now acts of service no no but close my first one was um alcohol and I think you did the Dan Murphy's test bring me wine uh and I will love you forever no okay so mine were mine were quality time and then my next one was words of affirmation then it was acts of service and then it was physical touch and then it was receiving gifts but I have a really interesting thing that I want to talk about later on the episode once we've gotten through what all of these are and that is that I think that your love languages change over time and they also are dynamic depending on where you're at in your relationship but I want to really flesh this out with you because I think that this is like depending on where you are with your

partner it really impacts what you need from them I absolutely agree I think it's already changed for me but I imagine for you going through your next life journey your next huge chapter of from being single to a child and engaged I imagine it would be very different so that will be interesting so let's get into that but not yet number one is words of affirmation so words of affirmation is like maybe you really enjoy it or need your partner to sort of to tell you that they love you to to say and actually verbalize that they think that you're pretty or they're really proud of you or that you're you know you're doing a great job you need to verbally and and physically hear from them these words in order to feel like you're into in order to feel like you're valued and in order

to feel like they love you that is like the number one of love languages yep that whole idea of you know you should know how much i love you i shouldn't have to tell you all the time that doesn't fly with these people if that's if your love language is words of affirmation that's not enough you need a partner to be verbal with you and constantly and it's it's not a it's not a vanity thing and it's not something to prop you up it's just that that's how you feel love so don't confuse that and it's also not like for constant reassurance either like I know that there are some people who feel like they need to be told that they love because they there is a level of insecurity in their relationship this can be like very stable and very happy relationships but some people are

very good at being very verbal and then some people aren't I think this also goes for parents like some people grow up with parents who are very much like you know very find it very easy to say I love you and then I have friends who have parents who don't really ever say I love you and when they say it to their parents their parents have said like oh I know you do or something very like weirdly like I feel what feels like a little bit incompassionate or a little bit unloving back but it's also because these people display their love very differently but words of affirmation I think can be a really really big one and it if it's not displayed and if people aren't receiving it they can very much feel unloved I have friends and this blows my mind but I have friends whose

parents have never said they love them and it's not because they don't love them but they've come from a generation where they didn't express love like that so they know they love them because they look after them and house them and they do other things for them whereas for example my parents my dad he will call me every day and he'll be like hey possum have i told you today i love you like just stuff like that so it's when you start to think about what we're talking about you start to look into the universe and everything that's around you and the people around you and you'll start to notice these love languages in the people that are surrounding you it's really interesting absolutely well even when I think of my own mum and this was like a conversation that

I kind of got into with Matt when we were talking about this like I like and my mum and I we have such a great relationship and we we as we've gotten older our relationship has gotten better I think but there was definitely a period there where I didn't feel as loved by her or like I didn't really feel like we were as connected as what you should be for a mother and daughter like there was a real mismatch there it took like a little bit of age and a little bit of wisdom to realize that my mum shows how she loves me in very different ways for example when I was at uni my mum would stay up all night and do my referencing because I would do my assignments last minute and then part of my assessment was that I needed to have these hectic references done and she would

get up at like three in the morning or four in the morning and she would do all my referencing on my assignments for me but she may love yeah like insanely right but she may not have verbalized it in a way that I needed it at that time. And so I was kind of like a bit, I was kind of like a little bit resentful in those years almost. And now when I look back, I'm like, wow, mom showed me that she loved me in so many ways. I just wasn't open to receiving that. I was looking in all the wrong places. So that's kind of what brings it back to how important it is to really acknowledge, even if your love language is a different, to acknowledge when someone is showing you that they love you, because maybe they're doing it in a very different way to the way that

you want to receive it yeah so maybe your mom's love language was acts of service 100% and it still is like that's like number at the top my mom would make leotards she would drive us to sport she would like get up at 4 30 a.m to make sure that we were all up to do our sports in the morning like she just did so many things for us and she still does and that is 100% how she shows her love my mom's exactly the same she was never one to every day smother us and say she loved us but she went above and beyond to do everything we ever needed like we never wanted or needed anything And that brings us into number two, which is acts of service. So like we just said, acts of service is like this whole concept of actions speak louder than words. And it's,

it's a very dad thing. I think as well, acts of service, it's the little things it's like fixing something for you. For example, Brittany, had you had a boyfriend that could have come to your aid, he would have fixed your washing machine. It would have been a bloody welcome to act of service. It's when your partner does something for you. Maybe they cook you dinner, or maybe they give you a massage, but it's like small actions that they do, which is their way of showing that they love you yeah it could be like washing doing something that you know is going to make your partner happy or doing something that you know is going to make your partner's life easier that's what it's about it's not that you love doing it because you

probably don't but you know how much your partner is going to appreciate it you know how much more it's going to make their life smoother and that's why you do it yeah it could be something easier it could be like you know your partner organizes a service for your car or he puts petrol in your car or just like things that things that just genuinely make your day-to-day easier which sometimes I think acts of service can can be really overlooked in a relationship and and I think that this is something that we really need to get into as well acts of service is one of those things that that gets forgotten about because there becomes this expectation for example if you cook dinner every single night for your partner it doesn't become seen necessarily as being something

that they're grateful for because it's an expectation because you always cook dinner every night and so I do think that sometimes acts of service can be very quickly overlooked as a form of showing love absolutely agree and also I think when you're doing this it shouldn't be a chore so you need to keep it in mind that you're doing it because you love them and you're doing it with a positive vibe and you have happiness in in your and you have happiness in your intent and it's genuine when you're doing it out of obligation or it has a negative tone attached to it that's when you sort of lose sight and your relationship it won't be it won't have the same effect because you're doing it because you feel like you have to not because you want to and make

sure you're not doing anything out of obligation number three laura receiving gifts so i think that like this is one of the ones that people think can be very materialistic and i think that like often people are afraid to say oh gift gifts is my love language buy me things i like handbags yeah handbags are my love language i left my gift list on the fridge it doesn't need to be expensive stuff when we say gifts we're not talking about you need a chanel handbag we're not saying that you're some bougie bitch that needs to have everything bought for you that's not what what this part of like the love languages is it could be that when your partner goes traveling they always bring you back something and whether it's small totems or tokens of their affection it's

just them wanting to remind you that they love you and they do that by buying flowers or they do that by bringing you home I don't know a pastry or it can be something small but these are also gifts yes sentimental some of the some of the best gifts I've ever been given have cost nothing because they've been made because they've been made with me in mind and they've been really thoughtful but having said that these gifts don't have to be small and sentimental they can still be big materialistic gifts it's just as long as you have your partner in mind and it's something that you know they want you know they love you're doing it because you know it's going to make them happy and vice versa they're doing it for you for the same reason but whatever it is again

don't be doing it because you're buying their love it's not about that it's not about trying to win them over and and keep them in a relationship they don't want to be with because you're buying the materialistic things so again there's always these lines that you have to be really careful when you're crossing gifts is the tricky one in that if somebody if say so for me gifts is so far down my list I when we when we sat down and we did this online test it gives you a percentage marking as to like what percentage each each love language means to you and it lists them from sort of one to five but everybody has like a dominant love language and a secondary love language not only is gifts at the bottom of my list it rates as zero percent like for me I do not care

about gifts go and unpack the dishwasher that is how I'm gonna feel loved but I but I also think as I said earlier in the episode that I think that it fluctuates and it's relative to the relationship that you're in so this is a bit of a backstory but when I've spoken about this relationship before like I was with a guy for six years and he was the first person that I really really thought this is the one, like this guy is the one. And we had a, we had our fair share of ups and downs. Like I tell you, but like, I'm not going to get into all that. But one thing that, one thing that really stood out to me and the fact that I have a 0% care for gifts, but this still really, really affected me. He never, ever bought me a present. He never bought me a birthday

present. He never bought me a Christmas present. He never gave me a card. And so in six years of being together, I never, ever received anything from him. And it became this real point of contention because my my love language has shifted and it became something that became more important to me because I felt that because I wasn't getting that from him at all and he wasn't even attempting to satisfy that need that I had even if it was like the most minimally basic need I was like you don't you can't possibly love me like you are being so unthoughtful you're not thinking of me you're not caring about me I just felt like I couldn't possibly be important to him even though he showed me in lots of other ways that he loved me.

Yeah, but okay, I'm going to jump in here. No, but even if your love language isn't gift giving or receiving, you still buy someone you love a birthday present. The baseline of what you do, like you just don't not do that. So what I'm saying is even though you may rate so low on something, like even if you have no desire for one of these love languages, we all still need all of these in some measure. Like you can't just never give someone words of affirmation.

You can't be with someone and never tell them that you love them. You can't be with someone and never do an acts of service for them. So even if you are more dominant in one love language than the other, you still need little bits of each because if you're being completely deprived in one love language, then that love language is going to move up in the list of priorities. It's going to then become something that becomes important to you because you're not receiving it at all. And so that was crazy to me because I don't care about gifts at all.

and then by the end of our relationship I was like you don't love me you don't buy me anything it's my birthday you didn't even give me a card and I became really fixated on not being given something I have something similar I my I wasn't really angry then I was like that was a really that was a really hard relationship and it made me really angry guys and I still think about the fact that I got no gifts for six years it kind of hurts a little bit laura your therapy session is over now okay all right back to the topic no i my psycho ex relationship he was exactly the same gifts meant nothing to me but i it was like opposite for you when i sorry when i say exactly the same it was nothing alike it was a total complete upset no

but i mean he would go to the extreme and he was constantly giving me really big expensive gifts but i soon worked out it was like a guilt thing it was when he had cheated on me or when he had done the wrong thing i would get this gift and then i just thought he was like it didn't i didn't want them it didn't mean anything to me but I was like what an amazing guy he always is thinking of me but it's not it was it was a guilt thing and it meant nothing so once I realized that it took it away it took the magic away from it and I think that's why gifts don't really do what they used to do for me now because I I associate it now with it not really being meaningful I would rather someone give me their time because he was constantly cancelling on me with time would

have a weekend away he would cancel last minute obviously he would say he had to work but it was because he was going and spending the weekend with someone else so then physical touch and time became my my top two because that's all I really craved the gifts mean nothing couldn't care less about them he was buying my love he was buying my trust and love like you're totally right and I think in that which it's so funny because I always thought gifts was like the most boring one I was like oh it's it's so so superficial but I actually think gifts is a really interesting love language because it's something that people can put a lot of, a lot of time, a lot of energy and a lot of money into. And some people might buy very extravagant gifts. And like, I'm not saying

that it's because they've cheated, like just in a relationship, someone might buy very, very extravagant gifts, might organize holidays, might do all these things. But if your love language on the receiving end is not gifts, you're kind of wasting your money. Like you don't need to take someone out for dinner and do this massive, big, elaborate, expensive show of affection when all that person's really craving is quality time and touch and affection or words of affirmation. I think that when there's this total mismatch in how you're showing your love, one, it can be detrimental to the relationship, but also it can be really fucking expensive and such a waste of money. Especially just put that away for a house deposit. Yes. Anyway, I just want someone to tell

me that they love me and give me a glass of wine. I just want a culmination of everything. And I also want them to do the washing and put the child to bed. Yeah. Yeah. Rub my back, tell me I'm pretty and feed me one hold my hand and tell me i'm pretty and feed the baby so next is quality time number four quality time and this love language it's all about giving someone your undivided attention if this is their love language if undivided time is their love language they want to be the center of your of your world no phones no computers no tv nothing they just want you to sit down listen to them talk to them be present for them yeah and be invested in what they're saying as well I think it's it's one thing when like your partner gives you the scraps of their

time like when they've finished work and they've already you know spoken to their friends and they've done dinner and they've done their sport and all this sort of stuff and they come home and they're too tired but they flop on the couch and watch a Netflix with you like that's not quality time quality is your priority time quality time is like there are other things I could be doing and I kind of want to do as well but you are the absolute number one before exercise, before food, before whatever else it is,

it's going to be with you and I'm going to incorporate all those other things with it but it's going to be with you. If your partner's love language is quality time, every time you cancel a date or every time you postpone something or every time you say

you can't talk on the phone anymore is really hurtful to your partner and it does make them feel like you don't love them. So it's really something to consider. You need to figure out if that's your partner's love language take that into account if you're going to cancel a date think do you really have to because it is going to affect them more than it might affect you if that's not your love language so my my number one love language is quality time and I think that

that's because for us like now that we have a baby the time that we get together is not that quality and often we often we are on our phones or we're occupied with work or like one person has Marley and one person is trying to get other things done in the house and so it's the time that we actually get to spend together Matt and I and actually sit on the couch and be totally present in each other's company is really minimal so so when we do have the opportunity to be together and actually like really invest in each other's time like if one of us is on the phone or a little bit disengaged like it's it's really hurtful because those moments that we get to have together are so few and far between now even though we spend so much time together very very minimal

time of that is actually quality time yeah well I spent a lot of time on my own but I spent a lot of time with you yeah we do we spent a lot of quality time together the depth of our conversation sometimes I'm like I should talk to Matt about this Dr Chapman does say that if you do want to show your partner some love and their language is quality time to remember the three b's are you ready I'm ready be deliberate with your time make a plan don't do anything super last minute make them feel like they're loved and wanted. So say, keep Friday night free because I am going to plan something and it's going to be amazing and I want to surprise you. So lock it in and make them feel like you've really thought about it. The second B, be mentally present. So like you just said,

really just be there. Don't be drifting off in your thoughts. Don't glance down to your phone. Don't say, oh, sorry, what did you just say? Because it just shows that you're not interested. thirdly be affectionate okay so you've planned your killer night out you've locked your date in you're mentally present there but you still need to bring that little extra level of physical touch be cute tell them they're sweet so you bring some of the other love languages in wrap it up into one beautiful little gift and you've got a really nice night and they that is that is what he says that's how you really drive home to your partner that you're here for them and you love them and you're going to make this work i really like the first one of that this whole idea of being

deliberate I think there's nothing there's nothing like less attractive than when someone says like oh let's hang out and like you you organize a night and you're gonna do something special and then they haven't booked a restaurant they haven't made any plans and so it's too last minute you can't actually go and do anything nice the the night is like a bit of a waste because it's like well what do you want to do where do you want to go on it no oh I hate you said that you're gonna do this you asked me yeah why haven't you even thought about what we're gonna do why does that end up on me I think that that's like I think that that is genuinely a reflection of not actually wanting to spend quality time with someone because you haven't really put any time

and energy into making that time quality you've just been like oh well I hope that they bring the goods if there's nothing worse then it's like well okay what are we gonna do then and like well what do you feel like eating like what do you feel like like well I don't know we're supposed to be having dinner in 10 minutes you haven't planned anything there's not like you almost as you throw the towel in don't you you like don't worry let's just stay in an Uber Eats like you almost get a bit defensive and even though you're like yes you're staying at home and you've got uber eats it's like well this was our opportunity to do something special and now we're not doing something special we're doing what we do almost every night of the week so it's therefore no longer really quality

time even though we're together like I think it kind of takes away from that I mean it can still be quality but it takes the specialness away yeah a little bit one for the single people because not everyone who who is like you know not everyone who's listening to this is in a relationship but when you're dating someone and they're okay with giving you their Monday or their Tuesday or their Wednesday or their Thursday night but they're not going to give you their Friday night their Saturday night or their Sunday day like that is not quality time right like you know where you stand on their list of priorities and I think that that is very glaringly clear if a guy is happy to do dinner with you on a Monday or a Tuesday but he won't do dinner with you on a Saturday or a

Friday he's got better things to do he's fitting you into his list of priorities so stay woke ladies yeah if you're single all of this still applies it's really great to know going into a relationship but in the early stages of dating you can pick up on what someone's love language is straight away you don't have to be in a long-term relationship so i think that this is equally as important for singles entering the dating world to long-term relationships um number five is physical touch so this is my number one love it i want you to stroke my hair i want you to tickle my arm or you take my back i want you to give me a back rub i want you to cuddle me i want you to spoon me i love touch and i'm i'm like that with everyone like i'm quite

affectionate with my friends i'll she's very handsy i'm hands but even i don't know like even if you're sitting in the lounge and i laughed i i might even laugh and touch your leg and it's not an awkward thing and i don't actually think about it i only really thought about it when i was reading through the love language and thinking of what i am and my friends often say that that and it's not a bad i'm not all over you but it's like the tiniest little touch because that's how I show you that I care well instead of being two meters away when you're upset and saying I'm here for you I'll be next to you and I'll touch your arm and I'll say I'm here you know it's just like those little things I think like this is the one that

this is what made me think about how dynamic love languages can be and how they change depending on the relationship you're in and how they depend how they change depending on where you're at in your relationship so I used to be quality time and my second one was always physical touch like they were always neck and neck but because all day touching me spend all your time yes I was gonna be really rude then but I'm not gonna do it um so now it's kind of changed and like now it's still quality time that's still like maintain is number one but acts of service has become my secondary and most important thing and I think it's shifted because Matt and I are always touchy feely with each other like we always are the ones who will hug each other we always we're always

like kiss each other like we're very very handsy couple like not to be gross and give you too much information but we're very very affectionate with our touch so I'm not lacking in that part of my life but sometimes acts of service like my god if you do the washing cook me dinner and put Marley to bed oh I I'm yours I'm wet like let me tell you that really gets me off now and I wouldn't have cared about that stuff before but now because of the situation that we're in because of the point in life that we're in acts of service I understand now why dads end up mowing the lawn and doing all the stuff because that is what really arouses a woman my dad does it because he has to mom's like I'm not feeding you dinner you wait you speak to your mom you ask your mom

what gets her up and she'll be like the mowing I'm pretty sure she's not gonna say that when your dad washes the dishes oh that's that's your mom yeah okay well um so for people that are dad i know you're listening to this sorry sorry tony sorry big tones he listens to everyone he's like actually i just mowed the lawn yesterday i can you hear him in the background starting it's gonna be a good night in the hockley house just mom's like tony you mowed the lawn yesterday yes i know dear but but i'm not joking i really think that depending on where you're at in your relationship acts of service become so much more important and like i just i really didn't realize this until I got to this point in my relationship with Matt like now even today when we we I made

Matt do the test so I have his like answers as well and he even said to me he's like I couldn't have cared less before if you had cleaned the house and like done things for me he's like but now babe you take Molly for the day and I'm gonna go for a surf and go for the run he's like that means so much to me he's like I know that that's you showing me that you love me well it means more yeah it means more now totally he'd froth that so froth that but it's dear god he'd froth it it's important to know that physical touch isn't just about sex and we make the joke but it's not just a sexual thing it's literally the little things it's holding hands in public it's cuddling in public it's not being ashamed it's just making sure they feel safe and there's always that point

of contact i know even for me when i'm not in a relationship sorry sherry but i always do this when i feel like i'm needing love i literally go to my sister's house and she cooks bless her she cooks me dinner and I lay on the lounge like she's my boyfriend and I put my head on her lap and she like will tickle my arm or stroke my hair but it's because that's my love language and if I because I've been single for so many years there comes to a point every few months or however long where you're like okay I feel like I'm because that's how I feel love that's what makes me lack love if you don't have it and you don't have anyone that's giving you physical attention physical touch of any point a cuddle you forget how much you need it you need human contact so

I will literally go to her and I'll be like can you pat my hair for like half an hour and she'll just like tickle my hair and then I'm like okay I've got what I need but also I think isn't this like such an interesting time for people whose number one love language is touch and then to think that we've just been through a pandemic where you can't hug each other you have to be socially distanced especially for people who aren't single who maybe live alone who haven't been able to get that physical touch like I think you just totally hit it on the head that there will be a lot of people going through this period and coming out the other side who have felt very lonely and have felt very unloved because one of their core and fundamental love languages

they haven't been able to be satisfied by that it's been a really tough time but that's why I found this a really interesting chat to do today that's the five love languages and what Dr Chapman does say is he refers to all of these love languages as being a fuel and he refers to having a love tank so in a relationship you have a love tank those languages those five love languages are the fuel they're in the tank if you're not constantly refilling the tank with the fuel you're not going to propel forward so this is how he explains it so if you feel like your relationship is really stagnant it's like you're not meeting each other halfway you feel like you're not moving forward it's probably because you need to look at your love tank and

see what you're not putting in if you feel like you aren't moving in your relationship maybe guys go and do the this five love languages test see what you are see what your partner is because you might not even know what your partner's love language is you might think you're showing them love he often gets this doctor often gets couples on and what happens is because he's a therapist what happens is he sees these couples and he's he's saying okay talk me through why you're breaking up why do you want to break up and it's because one couple one day one person one day stands up and says you don't love me anymore and I can't do it you don't love me I'm not getting what I need I'm leaving and usually the other partner's like whoa what I love you so much don't you see how

much I do for you and it's because they've never spoken about their love language her love language is an act of service he thinks he's doing all this stuff for her showing her he loves her but all she wants to do is be touched and said you know be told that he's proud of her so this is why it's imperative that you find out what works for your partner what they want and then you make sure that you're adding the right amount of fuel into your love tank yeah so guys I just it's a really interesting little um 20 minute podcast that Dr Chapman did with Oprah 20 minutes and it's really interesting if you guys are interested in in listening to him and and the way he explains it it's I loved it well one of the things that I really wanted to touch on in this episode is like

what do you do when your love languages don't align so maybe you're at a point in your relationship and you don't feel loved and you're listening to this podcast and you're like oh actually you know what yeah he doesn't tell me he loves me but he does do all these things for me every day and you know he drives me to work and he picks me up and he's like always texting and he whatever it is like maybe there's a mismatch in how you're giving love and how you're receiving love now we're not sitting here saying that just because you have different love languages that you're not a compatible partner like I think that you can overcome this but the only way to overcome this is to have great communication and to really sit down and explain to your partner

what you need and also to then do better to show your partner that you love them in the ways that they receive love as well and for me I think one of the biggest things I've learned in my relationships and something that I really like this is like my greatest advice guys here it is it's that if you you're like what the fuck could possibly be on there do you mind saying my advice is if you are in a bad spot in your relationship right now instead of telling your partner all the things that they need to do to be different try doing those things yourself first so for example I know and hear me out because sometimes you don't feel like doing it right if you feel like you have been less loving as in both you and your partner have been less loving and you were

like well you're not being loving to me you're not telling me that you love me you're not being affectionate you're not being handsy and touchy and all those things that you need really like I think that action precedes change and I think that when you start being more loving to your partner when you start being more verbal and you explaining that they're the things you need often that that's that motivates change in them they will see a change in you and that will sometimes ignite a change in them if it doesn't then that's when you're like fuck i have really tried everything but i do think that there has to be a period there where you really try to be the difference and you really try to be the change that you want in them to spark that treat me out treat them how you want

to be treated yeah it's like a number one rule to life right treat another human how you want to be treated yeah but even more so with this I think it's more so than just like just going like you know be nice and treat people how the way you want to be treated I think like if you are not feeling loved instead of instead of being angry about that love your partner even more instead of rolling over in bed and sulking yeah roll the other way and cuddle him and kiss him yeah exactly and then you know if you're then still not getting the affirmation back then I think that that's then when it becomes time to assess but I really do think instead of just putting up a roadblock and going, nah, I feel like this now because I'm not getting what I need from him. I think there's

always a point in the relationship where you can go a little bit further to see if you can create that change yourself. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Thanks Laura. I mean, it's not going to work for everyone, but it's worked for me and it's worked in our relationships. There's been time where Matt and I have been having a hard time and we've been butting heads and you know what, we could keep going down the path of butting heads, but one of you just has to sometimes put up the surrender a flag and meet the other person a little bit more than halfway and you don't want to be that person all the time but sometimes being that person really just makes the relationship grow and it gets you back into being in a really great space yeah you gotta put the fuel back in the love tank

so what is Matt's love language all right I gotta pull it up because I can't remember hold on what was Matt's so Matt's Matt's was words of affirmation he wants me to tell me he wants me to tell him that he's pretty and that I love him and that he has a nice bicep I actually told him when he walked in i was like i like your shirt matt so he would love that he loves words of affirmation he wants me to tell him that he's a sexy man all the time his second one is quality time um which i yeah like we're totally on par with that quality time is really important to both of us and those are both like pretty equal then he's he's equal paired on the next two so acts of service and physical touch are neck and neck and then he's 13 gift giving i mean gift

receiving okay so it's still last he's he's but he likes him a bit more than i do i was like 13 for receiving gifts i was like that's pretty high and he was like yeah fucking give me things i like checking mine my my gift giving was last but it was three percent that's not very high yeah mine was zero percent hang on i'm a bit worried now that maybe like future husbands out there are going to listen to this and not buy me anything do yours in percentages tell me the whole thing percentages ready physical touch 29 acts of service 26 words of affirmation 23 quality time 19 receiving gifts three percent the quality time thing actually really surprised me because i thought that would be higher i don't feel like that's right

everyone go and do this really accurate test that britney now doesn't think is correct well i get that physical touch no i just surprised me that i mean they're all only a few percent different but I love I mean actually no I do like a lot of time on my own so maybe it does make sense I'm glad you came to that conclusion on your own I'm nutting this out live guys I am live okay so mine were quality time 33 and then very shortly afterwards was acts of service 30 then it was words of affirmation at 23 and then it was physical touch at 13 you must hate when I touch you I'm like don't buy me anything stop touching me don't buy me things just tell me I look pretty do things for me and spend your time with me all of it brilliant number one I would

like a combination of all equal well I think that that's what we're saying like when it comes back to what I was saying earlier in that you're always going to be some percentage of these different love languages they're they all are important and they all play a role in every single relationship you cannot be in a relationship that is completely void of one because you will then end up feeling unloved but how and the level and to what percentage that you show those different love languages is going to vary from relationship to relationship and at the time of your life absolutely and it all comes back and comes down to if you have fundamentally different love languages it comes down to communication and the only way that your relationship is going to

work with that person if is if you're both super committed to making sure that the other person feels loved in the way that they receive loved even if that's not what's innately normal or like easy for you full stop boom baby enjoy that guys that's it for love languages we hope you learned something if you haven't figured out your love language jump online literally just google the five love languages test there's loads also while you're at it and I'm just gonna throw another one in there do the Myers-Briggs test this is like this is totally off piste right now because I can't contribute I don't know what you're talking about I'm taking it all the way over left of center so do your love languages test I think that's like really important for couples and

for relationships but on a personal level and to better understand who you are and people that you're emotionally compatible with I really recommend also doing the Myers-Briggs test which is the Myers-Briggs personality test and it kind of breaks down your it's it is spooky I'm gonna get you to do it Brit it's so good and meet up for another episode meet up let's meet up yeah and like record a podcast that'll be wild for us why don't we just be crazy and do that that'll that's like something we never do that'd be so new for us so I recommend doing that the Myers-Briggs I found so incredibly interesting and it really highlighted to me the types of people that I'm compatible with and it highlighted to me my my personality traits that I didn't

really I guess it just made me more aware of who I am as a person all right highly recommend send me the link maybe we'll put it in the show notes no next week's ones well maybe we'll do it in preparation for next week all right guys and now it's time for suck and sweet but before we get into it just in the little break after we recorded that to now brit just said to me can you please take my lola blades off i was laughing so hard about that and i want to kill her right now because i feel dirty from the inside out that just really came to you i've never used that one before a lola played yeah take them off i actually held my foot up to laura's face and i

said take my lola plates off i'm cracking myself up the amount of people who have jumped on board with this though like every day on the reviews in the facebook group like it i can't tell you how much it kills my soul that everybody's embraced your lola loser do you mean lola palooza oh oh i'm so embarrassed for you i'm not embarrassed for me my favorite thing that's ever happened is that you i have been trying to shut this down since day one no this is even better day one you tried to shut it down in the beginning but now sometimes you don't even know and you say it in a sentence and i froth i love it so hard because you it's great you have to admit i just say it to make you happy no i hate it still it's grown on you and everyone loves it

I'm miserable. I'm a miserable old mum. You're also very dramatic. Oh, volcano. Okay, now into the Suck and Sweet, guys. For those of you who don't know, Suck and Sweet is how we end every episode. It is our highlight and our low light of the week. We already know Brit's low light because she flooded her apartment three times

because once just wasn't enough. Yeah, guys, my suck's quick. My whole weekend sucked. So my suck is my life. it was yeah it was a really stressful weekend um I'm actually I'm gonna be real for a second I did put a lot on Instagram and I had a laugh about it but it was it was very defeating there was a moment that I just felt really defeated I felt really low um I'm not gonna use the word depressed no I wasn't but I was really down I it was really really hard I felt really alone

and I think it will be good to talk about that in the future I struggled I had some really low moments so um yeah all in all it was a really tough weekend but the weekend's over now this is Sunday night um I want a bigger and better yeah I think that I just need a really good sleep and I'm I'm back to it so that's my suck my sweet on my peak breakdown so Saturday night last night um I had a few friends that had written to me and said like can I come and do something can I can I help you in any way and me being me was like no don't like I don't want to put people out I'm like no you don't need to help me I'm almost done like I'll be fine but I had this one particular friend that knew me well enough and she didn't take no for an answer she's like I'm actually

going to be at your house in 15 minutes I'm going to the shops let's have some ice cream and I just said you know what you're really forcing yourself on me and I am here for that I said yes please come you're like no means yes in this instance she turned up and we just had a laugh for half an hour she picked my mood up we had some ice cream we had a little gloss and that was my sweet just I think someone maybe knowing that whilst I said I was okay that I wasn't you know yeah and having someone there for you yeah I mean someone that could see through my facade it's making me feel really guilty now because I knew she was sad but I had a baby at home and I was like I don't mean to make you feel guilty no I didn't I wasn't that friend but yeah I wasn't Laura I you know it

was someone else from the franchise though from the bachelor franchise kimmy so if anyone doesn't know one of my the best things for me that came besides laura from the bachelor was um one of the stylists kim we are really really close and i adore her and she's beautiful and she just delivered the goods oh well i feel i feel sufficiently guilty now oh thank you yeah i'm glad you've got another friend i love you just one more do you want me to just hold you and touch you and make you feel really affirmed. Okay. So my suck, I mean, being sick this whole weekend has been a real Debbie downer. Um, my suck could also kind of be classified as my sweet. I went to bed at seven o'clock last night. I put Molly to sleep and I just got into

bed and then I slept for 12 hours. Like I was out cold and I don't think I've slept for 12 hours. you screened my call i put my phone on airplane mode and i was out of there you hung up yeah no actually i put i hung up on you and then i put this is me being a shit friend you in your time of need who had some other friend you had some other friend come over to support you i fucking hung up on you and put my phone on airplane mode i called this is really highlighting i've just thought of this now i called laura she declined the call then sent me a message saying soz in bed i thought you would understand that i was sick i do absolutely i wasn't calling you having a breakdown i don't know what i was calling you but also like i'm not gonna say i'm in bed at

7 p.m unless there's something like it was it was a real doozy of a day yeah and i know you'd been so sick and that's why i would never have asked you for help because you couldn't even help yourself mate i was in all sorts yesterday i truly was so that was my suck um also i'm a friend i just learned that so that's my second suck you're a good friend my sweet for the week is actually do you know what somebody wrote in the reviews that they really like that or they don't like they find it really annoying that i always forget if the suck comes first or the sweet comes first do they because that's what that was me i left that review they're like i'm here with britney how laura always forgets whether it's the suck or the sweet i see you how dare you you

do every week you're like what one comes first again yeah well i'm trying to keep a child alive life is just really hard right now okay so my sweet is I mean my other suck is that Marley ate one of my lipsticks I don't know if anyone saw that on my stories that's not a suck that is golden that is a golden moment she gave me some good Instagram content so maybe that's my sweet then I she gave me some solid Instagram content what brand was it it was a little bit of a Revlon color stay Revlon if you're listening shout out to Revlon that shit really stays thank you my child looks like a clown now so it was all quiet in the house and I was in the bedroom and I could hear Marley she was playing and then just quiet and I realized it had been quiet for a

little while and I was like where is that child of mine and every mother knows that when it's quiet they're doing something they're doing something and I couldn't find her because she'd just been in the bedroom and our bedroom is next door to the bathroom and I was like oh god I know where she is and I opened the door and she had I don't know if this is bad guys but she had eaten an entire lipstick like the whole thing I mean was it organic no it was Revlon colorstay she had eaten it down to the nub and I reckon there was about three quarters of a lipstick in that I mean she's not the first child to eat a whole lipstick so I feel like she's probably okay I gave her like organic vegetables for lunch to try and even it out I don't think it works like that that's like

when I eat a block of chocolate I go and eat a carrot after it because I'm like fixed it yeah absolutely it's like one minus one equals zero my child is a holy temple again I'm like you know you try so hard to make sure that your your children don't eat bad things like they're not eating sugar they're not eating like anything that's processed and then all of a sudden they eat an entire Revlon colorstay lipstick which you know what there you go it's that or a roll of cookie dough isn't it yeah well I don't know which one would have been worse but that also I don't know if that was my sweet that's a sweet for sure that was so funny it was the cutest thing it was very cute i feel like we're at that we're at that phase now of parenting where like your children

will get into your makeup yeah where i just leave my children unsupervised for 20 minutes and then be like hang on hang on where's that thing that i usually have attached to me she's so self self-sufficient now it's fine anyway guys that is us for this week i mean no that's us for today we've still got another episode this week don't worry it's all happening calm down two more days oh gosh it's gonna be wild we really hope that you enjoyed the episode we hope that you learned something please if you have any accidentally unfiltered stories we need your most embarrassing story guys like you will stay anonymous we will never ever share that we'll take that shit to the grave but let us laugh with you and at you whilst we do it thanks again for all the amazing reviews

you guys been reading too we really really really loved them the last few days there have been some bloody good ones. People are putting a lot of thought in. I really enjoyed the review that someone wrote where they compared us to the hot towel at the end of a spa. Also five stars for that review. That was my favorite. Yeah. We were a spa. I've never been a spa before. It was like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. I was like, they're the sorts of words of affirmation that I really need in my life. We weren't a spa. We were a towel at the spa. We were the hot towel at the end of a spa. Oh my God. I have a story for you then before we go. Oh my God. Wow. That came out of nowhere this is this is a hot towel story throw it in this is gonna so I'm gonna go

rogue I'm gonna tell you a story before we actually get into the end of the episode when I was in Bali this one time I had been going to this spa like this this face spa okay and I'd be going every day and I loved it and I'd go and get my massage and like one of the things that I loved about it was that you'd go there and they'd give you this cold towel that had been in the freezer and it had like lavender oil and beautiful things like all mixed into it. And it was just the most beautifully refreshing thing to receive because you just get off your like sweaty scooter and you're so hot. It's like the humidity in Bali is crazy. And you get inside this nice cool room and put this frozen towel on your face. Anyway, so I was there with a girlfriend and I was raving on

about this spa. And so we get on the scooter, we drive there, we get inside. I book him for like my hour massage and my facial and all this shit. And I sit down and the guy brings over this towel, this towel that i have been raving to her about for ages and i pick up the towel and i rub it on my face and i rub it on my hands and then i rub it down my neck and then i rub it all over my chest and then i rub it over my back and then it starts to dry a little bit and i was like oh oh my god oh my god nadia can you smell me and she was like oh my god someone had fucking pissed on it and put it in the freezer and i had rubbed it all over me all i'm not i am not kidding like you could not mistake the smell it smelled like i had bathed in a man's urinal i had rubbed a urinal

cake on me is what it smelled like i'm so confused who would do that obviously some disgruntled employee did it not only that like my towel was considerably more yellow than nadia's towel as well and I screamed bloody murder and I ran into the bathroom and then I splashed water all over myself and I was in such disbelief and found it so funny at the time I still went through with my massage and my facial you didn't even say anything I did but oh they just kind of laughed at me and are you serious it was woman who are you anyway there was a nice little bonus I certainly unfilled for the end of the episode how did you forget that a lot of things have happened to me in my life britney that you just box it away box it away you put the trauma in a box and you put it

into your closet until you sit down and do a podcast and it just really brings out those suppressed memories okay all right well on that note guys if you have any questions for our ask uncut episode for thursday please write in also if you haven't joined the facebook group yet you need to get on that like sort your life out it is at life uncut podcast there is also at life uncut podcast for instagram and that's all there is folks there isn't any more no we're not gonna start a new ending no share the love because we love We'll be right back.