Life Uncut - Ask Britt and Laura anything 👌💢👈 HOLIDAY BONUS

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Britt and Laura are still on holidays, but it's producer Keeshia here and I have a very fun bonus episode for you! I sat the girls down before their break and hit them with questions from the Lifers, you already know so much about the girls, but this episode is an even deeper insight into their friendship, their past, their personalities and well.... anal play.Whether you're in lockdown or flying free we hope this episode brings you a much needed giggle.Join the conversation on the Facebook Group and follow us @lifeuncutpodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, it is producer Keisha here with you and as most of you are already aware, Laura and Britt are away on what we are calling a break, but I think that we need to put this word break in some little air bunnies because it hasn't really been much of a break. COVID had some other plans but before they went on break we sat down and we recorded a whole bunch of content for you guys and one of them is what is going to play for you today. It is an Ask Britain Laura anything episode. Now when I first put this up on our Instagram stories some of the questions that came in were wonderful. Some of them were really great and I was like oh yeah I'm actually really interested to know that as well. Some of them were pretty weird and we thought well you know what

this podcast we kind of do bear all on it and so some of these questions are about to come up for you. I listened back to this episode today and I think you know right now I'm currently in the Sydney lockdown. I know that Victoria are back in an extended lockdown and there's some new restrictions for places like South Australia. It's just all a bit of a blender at the moment but it really gave me a little bit of an escape, I guess I would call it. And it gave me a bit of a laugh. So I hope that today that can do the exact same thing for you, especially if you need it right now. Coming up this Thursday, we are taking a trip down memory lane, which means that we are revisiting one of our favorite episodes from the past. But then on Friday, I have something kind of spicy for you

guys. Something brand new, something that you haven't heard before. As most of you would be aware the new season of The Bachelor starts this Wednesday this is the season with pilot Jimmy and Laura and Matt caught up with Jimmy last week now firstly we know that not everyone who listens to this podcast loves The Bachelor which is why we didn't want to put it into one of our normal episodes we kind of didn't want to you know combine the two so on Fridays we are going to be dropping a brand new batch recap with your favorite Bachelor success story Laura and Maddie jay that will be dropping in your podcast libraries every friday for the next i think it's like seven weeks of the bachelor goes for as long as the series goes for is however long they are going

to be doing these batch recaps and i know that a whole lot of publications do bachelor recaps but something that i find really interesting when talking to laura or matt about the bachelor is that they have this whole extended understanding of what goes on obviously behind the scenes because they were both on the show, but also they understand the language around the Bachelor franchise. And that's something that I haven't quite been able to understand myself yet. So you're probably going to be getting a little bit of a different perspective. So today, brand new episode, Ask Laura and Brit Anything. Thursday, we're taking a trip down memory lane and Friday, that episode, The Bachelor Recap with Laura and Maddie J will be dropping in

your podcast library. So let's get into it. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I am producer Keisha. And I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany and we're supposed to be on holidays but psych, here we are. They thought that they could take a couple of weeks off and they thought that they could get away with actually taking some time off and I said no no no no. You're like you still need to pay me. You're like I still need to earn a salary. That's what she said. She's like girls gotta eat, girls gotta eat. So here we are. No we did, look we did want to take a break but we also we love what we do. We've got an issue. We don't know how to take time off so we wanted to make sure we at least gave you something we thought we're pretty

open on this podcast but we've never really answered questions that you guys have wanted us to answer well i mean we answer the questions that you guys want us to answer every single week on ask uncut however what it means is that we're answering the questions that you guys have asked specifically about us and specifically non-bachelor related so for example britney do you like anal sex i can't i can't tell you actually so many people wrote in not about my specific anal sex but not about my specific anus no a lot of people had some butt questions producer keisha has put a bunch of questions together she has compiled some of the best some of the most serious and some of the funniest and we haven't really read them she sort of briefed

us on a few and we're like you know what just hit us hit us on the show hit us live we're just back to the butt questions for one hot second like let's not just skim past that would you like me to actually reference that particular message because for you guys listening there is a reason we're joking about anal play the girls are really open about i would say 99 of things so we put up an instagram story saying hey you've got a question for laura or brit send it through and some of the questions were fucking cooked some of you guys we thought we were cooked we share everything with you no holds bars but this is one thing we're going to keep to ourselves and the particular message oh my god i loved it i'm paraphrasing but it basically said hey i'm interested in whether

laura is into anal play or not because it's been brought up on the podcast a couple of times and brit seems to point her nose up at it and we are not shaming people who are into anal play because i mean quite frankly i'll answer it i like a finger in the bum sometimes but no more you guys asked for it here it is that's the pinky and the stinky long and short of it the fact that you have a rhyme the pinky and the stinky concerns me because you obviously love do love a pinky and stinky that's so good for you my comment here don't shame me i'm not and this is what i want to comment this is why we're taking a holiday her nose up i'm sorry i have not turned my nose too good for anal play i would not ever turn my nose up at anyone or anything that you

guys want to do i'm fucking you go get a girl the only reason that i don't talk about butt play on the podcast is because i share like keisha said 99.9 of my life on this podcast i think there's there's got to be like one tiny little sliver oh i understand it's because you're saying you have self-respect daily mail just so you know laura's quote was one in the stinky okay make sure you get that right britney has respect laura has a pinky in the stinky also there's got to be a little bit of risk can you squawk down there's got to be a little bit of respect also sometimes for our partners and the situations we're in and that's what it is for me there's just some things that are like that that I'm not going to talk about and if you think that's me turning my nose

up at you well you just don't know me like where you been why haven't you been listening you seem so offended I am Brittany turned her nose up at the butt I didn't know such thing and I don't need to talk about it because she does honestly okay so with this episode guys some of you are going to be like these girls have been drinking the kool-aid but what we plan on doing is that we know that we are so open with you all there's probably very few things that you don't already know about us. Honestly, even some of my closest friends will say to me, hey, Laura, so I heard on the podcast that this is happening in your life and you didn't decide to share that with me directly. So you guys know more than the fair share of people. However, we've got some questions

here that Keisha's put together just to give you a little bit more of an insight into our lives, into our friendship, into this podcast. I'm a bit scared, but I'm prepared. All right. So let's get you guys into some of the questions that have been sent through from our wonderful lifers. The first one, I put this one at the top because I think that you can kind of tell a little bit about someone's personality from this. And it was a pretty simple question. How do you both like your coffee?

Without anal play. Okay, I like a coffee and a... No, I'm joking. Please don't write that down. I've got a bloody four-month-old baby. I'm not having any play. I will answer this question because I know I'm the best podcast friend.

Laura has a soy cappuccino, don't you? A large one. A large soy cappuccino. Double shot. Why the soy milk? Do you know what? I used to think that soy milk tasted like cardboard and I used to always have skim and then I dated a guy who drank soy milk and he got me onto it

it's like a gateway drug she's like I'll do anything you do to stay with you I will have soy milk it's pretty I wish I morphed myself into your being I wish we were joking but you all know my codependent issues that I have and yeah that's pretty much what happened I'm an almond milk cappuccino girl I'm not opposed to soy milk I'm not opposed to oat milk but I am 100% opposed to full cream milk and skim milk purely because of the taste nothing else about it I just have never had in my entire existence so I'm definitely an almond milk girl now until someone recently told me that you go through so many almonds to make like the tiniest little coffee well they don't have titties so they can't milk them it's nut juice apparently it's actually not very good for

the environment so now I'm like what do I drink now one thing that is funny about this is that Britt and I have now had this podcast for like two years we have been friends for just over two years and for at least a year and a half I was getting her coffee and I was getting her a soy cappuccino and I called her one day and I was like oh it's so convenient that we have the same coffee and Britt was like we had literally been friends for a year and she was like oh I hate to break it to you but I actually really like almond milk but you've just been giving me the wrong fucking thing for a year a year you didn't say anything I don't like confrontation and I know it's not I just wanted to please you communication is very important in relationships but you know what it's

because I if you were getting me full cream milk which I detested I would have said something but I'm not opposed to it I know it's easier for the barista it's easier for you to remember so I was like I'm just gonna roll with it and after a year I was like okay it's probably enough time it's like the woman that got her hair cut the wrong way for 20 years on our ask and cut recently what a woman she just didn't want to break it to her I didn't want to break it to you I'm sitting here as well as we record this just so you guys really know everything that's happening it's 7 30 p.m I should have been home to feed Lola about 40 minutes ago and I started leaking and so instead of getting me toilet paper brit just came over and bought me a libra pad not sponsored libra where you are

now i'm just sitting here with a maxi pad down the front of me so that's how close our friendship is now i know she has almond milk and i'm sitting here lactating on myself if she asks for a tissue i bring her a pad this is just the kind of person i am okay can we get into something more serious now yes we can uh something very serious like a toxin you both mentioned that you have had botox How often do you get it? I have had Botox. Well, actually, do you know what? The very first time I ever had Botox was because I was dating a guy

and I didn't feel attractive enough. And I went and I got Botox because I thought if I was more attractive, he would like me more. How old were you? This was the toxic guy. This was the guy I dated before Matt. So I was 29. I was in one of those relationships where I wanted to look better

and I thought that if I looked better, if I was more desirable, if I was funnier, if I was prettier, all of that shit that we kind of do to ourselves when we're in a really bad relationship I thought if I looked better he would be better to me and it didn't work and he wasn't that was the first time I had Botox and I didn't have it again until after I finished The Bachelor once again pretty crappy self-esteem which is when I started and then I had it once since Marley which was about a year and a half ago now and I haven't had it since then I think all of us have fallen into that trap of if I look better he'll like me more and treat me better ha ha ha I don't have Botox in

the world baby it's a terrible equation skinnier if I'm better yeah I have had Botox I mean I don't know how many times exactly I've had it a few times the first time I got it was similar Laura I didn't have it until I was 31 and it was when I came on the other side of the bachelor like just to put this into perspective I didn't know Botox was a thing like and I don't mean a thing I knew that celebrities got it in Hollywood, but I grew up very sheltered in Port Macquarie. My friend circle, no one got Botox. It wasn't in their surroundings, so we didn't know about it. I was pretty much maybe like one of a very small handful of people, like two or three

on The Bachelor that hadn't had anything, no surgery or Botox or anything. And I was abnormal and I felt really out of place. And I was like, oh my God, I'm probably really old and ugly compared to all these people. I came out of The Bachelor and I was like, to be honest, I really liked it. it didn't have the I guess there was always when I didn't know about it and I always had this stigma that it was something really bad to do and it was bad to speak about and it was taboo but I quite liked it I was like okay cool I had a wrinkle there and now I don't I've just reversed my age a year as much as I had it done the first time which came from like a low self-esteem thing

when I have had it since and when I had it after I had Marley it didn't come from low self-esteem like I did that for myself and I did it because I wanted to so I don't think and like there is nothing wrong if you are doing any tweaks or adjustments and you're doing that shit for yourself it's only if you're doing it because you think it'll improve something about you because you want to be better for someone else that's where the issue lies so when I've finished breastfeeding Lola and I'm no longer kind of in my postpartum phase you'll be knocking on the door I'll get a couple like easy in my forehead yeah I think so I think just to wrap that up as long as you're doing it for yourself I think whatever floats your boat your face your choice I like that

Well, something, another very personalised thing. If you had an intro music, what song would it be? So I picture this as if you were like a fighter going into the ring because you guys already have intro music for your podcast. I can't remember who sings this, but I'm going to sing it anyway because I can't remember the name of either. But it's going to be that, I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. I don't know who it is. I'm doing a live Google. I think because we are complex, multifaceted human beings, I'm going to be that song. I feel like I needed more time. Oh, Meredith Brooks. Oh, that's it.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. I feel like I needed more time to think about this, in all honesty. I would love to hear what you guys think my song would be, but maybe like, it's too late to apologize. One Republic. It's too late. But not because I want to apologize to him,

but I feel like a whole bunch of people need to apologize to me. you know who you are. Hashtag honey badger. Doesn't have any suppressed trauma over here. Did you ever have a life or death moment? Yes. Yes. So when I was in my twenties, I used to work down in Berry. I used to work at a wedding venue down there and I would drive down there from Wollongong every weekend. How far is that for non East coasters? From Wollongong, it's about 40 minutes. So I'd drive down there. I would work a late shift cause I was working at a wedding venue and a restaurant and this one night I was driving home and in Kayama there is this railway crossing that crosses over the road when it has the flashing lights you stop because

obviously there's a train coming was maybe about midnight I hadn't paid any attention like I mean there was no lights flashing because the lights were off but I wasn't really paying a lot of attention to the railway tracks because I was driving doing my thing lights weren't flashing unbeknownst to me the lights were broken and I went through the railway and as I was going through the tracks the lights came in through my side window and the horn the noise of the horn and the train was like oh my god laura and then i said it's like a nightmare i didn't see it i didn't hear i didn't pay i was just driving and not paying attention to what was happening in my periphery well i think you're just getting the fact that there's usually flashing lights like

a stop sign stop sending around an indication that a train is coming the booms come down no there's no boom there there's just like a flashing light because it's a really it's a really rural area this and this is also going back like 15 years and I skidded off the side of the road and then had a big cry because I was like oh my god I think I was about to die by a fucking train yeah wow that one's taking my breath away wow good luck I'm like my choking on a mentos just doesn't really compare this is recently like probably two years ago when I was in Canada with Sherry and Jay we're driving in the car and I had I'm pretty sure from memory it was a mentos like very circular and it's the width of your esophagus and I put it in my mouth and I went to

chew it and Sherry made me laugh I was in the front seat Jay was driving and Sheridan was in the back and we all know what my laugh is I was like anyway so it's in my mouth they made me laugh I sucked it back and it lodged completely in my airway and I couldn't breathe you know when you like something's in your throat and you're trying to get a little bit of air in if you guys can hear that you can just like suck the littlest bit there was not one little tiny bit of air that was getting in anyway I start sort of like you know like coughing and heaving not trying to cough and get it up but there was nothing and I looked back at Sherry and I looked at Jay and we're on a highway in Canada and they were laughing because I thought I was joking and I was panicked I was like I'm

gonna die I can't get it I was like hitting my chest and then I looked Sherry's like I thought you were joking until you looked at me she's like your eyes were pleading they were bulging out of your head and she was like holy shit and she's like jay pull over jay's on a highway and i am like i'm gonna die my face has gone purple i had to tell her i was like hit me on the like i was showing to my back and i was like hit me on the back she starts hitting me on the back nothing's happening it wasn't dislodging jay's tried to pull over on the highway i've rolled out of the car and i'm thinking i'm gonna die and sherry comes up she's doing the heimlich maneuver behind my back smashing me in the chest and then it finally popped out and i lived to tell the tale

oh my god we're all like weirdly sitting here like could you imagine if i died by a mentos you know what you needed some coke did you do that as a kid okay uh brit how many dates do you think you went on throughout your single period 2127.5 i have a question for you do you reckon you know or could write down every single person you've had sex with like do you keep a sex list or have you kept a sex list I 100% have not kept a sex list like that doesn't interest me at all was it you that did Laura no I don't have a list oh I remember speaking to someone one of my friends does they wrote it all down doesn't interest me could I count I mean like in all honesty you're speaking to someone that was

single for 10 years in her prime so have you ever tried though because I remember when I was in the batch house I tried to write a list and then I was like ran out of paper well no I know I like I mean I'm out of ink guys if you want to get trolled just do a podcast with your friends no I have been in like super long-term relationships I mean not that it matters but I don't have probably as many that some of you listening to the podcast would expect that I would have had however I definitely have people where I was like what was that guy's name who was a cop who can't remember the names i'm like i had sex with you cannot remember your name would run into them in the street know what they look like name gone i've got something to add to this i have read an article recently that

said that the average number of people that someone has slept with is eight oh shit all right not in terms of sex but in terms of dating to answer your question i was thinking like a solid decade and in my prime and dating all around the world i've been on a lot of dates and like i do not sleep with everyone on a date so I want to make that very very clear but I reckon it would have to be between it's probably not as many as you think I don't know is it between 100 and 200 is that a lot I don't know it's a lot of dates I don't think so especially for the amount of time you're single there are times that I would have gone a year without a date because I wasn't interested I was just looking after myself doing my own thing and then there would have been years

where I was like three dates a week I'm pretty well versed if you've got any questions come at me listen to life on podcast she did start a dating podcast we're talking about dating uh is Jordan your penguin yes when did I could be wrong but if you ask me I think he's I for sure think he's my penguin do you think you knew early on yes you know why I knew and like let's hope he doesn't dump me I knew because I didn't run that was like one of my main signals was like usually and everyone knows me Laura's knows me that I'm a runner it's the second anyone shows an interest in me I'm out but I wanted to spend all my time with him I'm also somebody that wants to be alone a lot which is funny I think people don't know that about me but I love my own space and my own

company and all of a sudden I didn't want to run I didn't want to do anything but be with him so I was like whoa I think I'm in trouble here oh that's really sweet Brit I mean Jordan if you're listening he would not be listening to this uh we know that you tell embarrassing dating stories all the time but what's your most embarrassing moment full stop I've already told this story on a another bonus episode but it was in season one so I'm gonna give it the quick summary of this story but my most embarrassing moment was I'd just come back from a big trip around India and I had had this series of unfortunate events like I had broken my arm and then I had gone to India and when I was in India I ended up in hospital and it was just this like every week

something bad happened to the point where my sister thought someone had put a hex on me and told me to put lemons under my bed or something crazy anyway so I came home from India I hadn't unpacked so I had just kind of like pulled out all my shit from my suitcase into my bedroom and then I'd gone to bed completely naked and in the middle of the night there was a fly in the room a fucking fly just buzzing around like those really big fat dumb flies and you want to hear it you can't hear it yes like bong bong bong trying to get out of the window anyway I went up and it was an old apartment in Belby Hill so I went up to the window and I undid the the latch but it was one of those sash windows that has like the rope that keeps the top part up and the bottom

part you know when so that doesn't come flying down anyway in the time that i'd been in india the rope must have snapped or something had happened to the ropes the rope wasn't there and i opened the latch and the top part of the window came flying down and caught my hole from like my knuckle to the top part of my finger was wedged completely shut in the window so there I am naked screaming to the point in the window in a fucking window to the point where and like I've just recovered from being in hospital with diarrhea and this is like three days later anyway and I'm screaming and my apartment bedroom window faced the apartment bedroom window of the opposite building and so I'm screaming my neighbor has turned her light on

and her and her husband are at the window her and her husband are at the window and her and she's like get away from the window yelling at me thinking I'm like trying to flash him probably like this hasn't been on Pornhub before he's like this is the best day of my life so she kicked him out of the she kicked him out of the bedroom I finally was able to communicate with her from afar that I was trapped in the window she couldn't understand why I was trapped in the window anyway wait for it gets worse so then I'm like call an ambulance because like the circulation my fingers was gone I was like I am I'm gonna lose my fucking hand here like I was really in a whole state they called an ambulance so the ambulance takes and I live with a housemate as

well so the ambulance isn't there yet so I'm screaming I'm still naked on my own in my bedroom trapped in the window trapped in the window and eventually my housemate's here so the buzzer starts going because the ambulance is downstairs and my housemate gets up and she's like oh for fuck's sake anyway I can hear her and she goes to answer the door and then she comes into the bedroom she thought I was drunk on the street screaming I've never done that in my entire life and the entire time that we lived together in the three years had I ever stood out the front of our apartment screaming anyway there's a whole lot of other issues there so she comes in so it's her the two ambulance people and I'm trapped in the window in the naked were they hot no and her

names was Bill and Ben and I'll never forget because I can in my like woozy state afterwards I was like Bill and Ben the flower pot man anyway so here I am naked in the window Bill and Ben walk in this sounds like it should be in a movie Bill and Ben walk in Bill and Ben are laughing because they think that I'm drunk and I'm not actually trapped in the window either they were kind of a bit like what is going on here she runs over she puts a sarong over my shoulders and like over my waist so here I am in a see-through sarong you still want to be a bit sexy for Bill and Ben and this is what Bill and Ben do Bill and Ben go oh ha ha we have to create a safety path so then they spend five minutes moving all of my shit out of the way to create get my hand out of the

window so they get to the window but they can't open the window then they realize that actually i'm properly stuck they can't open it they have to call the emergency rescue team who comes and cuts me out of the goddamn window because they were so worried that i was gonna lose my hand anyway that was that happened that was a long time ago it's such a good story so the emergency rescue team came and cut my hand out of the window and i was still naked why hasn't someone given the poor girl some clothes and the neighbors just sitting across the window going a cup of tea and a biscuit like this is the best i'd ever do you know how screwed you'd be if it happened now because that whole thing would be caught on camera now and on the internet if that happened

this day someone from an apartment above across the road would be filming the whole thing well it wasn't that long ago people had mobile phones it was only like seven years ago yeah but they weren't as like throwing it on the internet you know and it was one of those things in life like after it happened and i got in the ambulance and i went to the hospital i was like are you fucking kidding me like after everything that we have been through in this past year and I say we like I'm talking about myself in third person but after everything that had happened I was like this has got to be a cruel sick joke like are we done now that was it you've still got your fingers for the pinky and the stinky yeah thank god

pretty hit me what's yours my I was trying to think of it when you were talking my probably one of my most embarrassing stories I've done a lot but it also has to do with surfing when we were at a competition about probably I was probably only 17 or 18 we're on the gold coast there were like a thousand people on the beach on the gold coast beach because it was like an international competition so there are a lot of people there there's a lot of interest at this stuff and there was like a moped company that had sponsored the surfing which means we got mopeds now I'm like 17 I don't know how to drive a moped I don't know how to do anything but I was trying to be cool so there were so many hot guys there so my girlfriend and i got a moped and in this

tiny little blue bikini with a helmet on and shoes on so i had joggers like g string string bikini and their helmet i get on this moped and i'm thinking i'm killing it just like scooting around we get back to like the main strip of the gold coast of service paradise that i cannot explain to you how many hundreds of people are lining the streets and the beach I'm off the bike I'm I'm standing up and I'm holding on to the handles next to me and I don't know what happened I don't remember but I pulled the throttle but just enough for it to kick and the bike started going and I'm all of a sudden I don't know I didn't let go of it I was running along behind it but the bike was getting further in front of my hand and I was pulling back on the throttle and all of a sudden

and I'm almost supermanning. My feet are almost taking off the ground on the side. I've still got the helmet on and the bikini. Everyone starts to look at me. And then I get to the point where it's going so fast I have to let go. I fall onto the road down the gutter. The moped, this like slow motion movie, it's on the sidewalk and there are people at restaurants and cafes that were literally

diving out of the way because this rogue bike is careening past them. Luckily it hit no one and then it crashed in front of everyone into a police car. and i'm on the road i'm not kidding it's like silence you know when the big bang and everyone looks around i am on the ground i rolled my ankle so i couldn't even run away i was on the ground with this brained ankle it was so big and that's how you got your first moped that is cool that's also why i stopped surfing and also why britney has a criminal record okay next question uh backstory on buster why does he have one leg this is actually three legs

why is he missing a leg I think that's what they mean so Buster has three legs not one I got Buster when he was one year old and he had had his leg removed when he was six months and so at the time I was living in Surry Hills I had just gone through a really bad breakup and my neighbor who's now one of my best friends she had also just gone through a really bad breakup and I came home this one day and there she was sitting on her balcony with Buster so she was fostering him and I walked past with my bottle of wine which I was going to drink on my lonely own and I was like hey you got dumped I got dumped let's be friends and I let myself into a house and we drank a bottle of wine and then we got another one and I fell in love with Buster and then she

was like this dog is mental he needs to be like exercised every day take my house keys you can let yourself in and take him for a walk whatever you want then I fell in love with him and I adopted him and then I kept her as well. Do you know how he lost a leg? So he was like living out on a farm and he got hit by a car and then there's this really awesome for anyone who's looking to adopt a dog and they're in sydney there's this awesome rescue called maggie's rescue and what they do is they i've seen that i've searched that before yeah it's amazing so they're amazing what they do is they do all of the operations for free like it's not for profit they do any sort of like rehabilitation for the dogs or the cats and then they rehome them and i highly recommend anybody

who's looking for an animal to get one from them i actually love this part of your narrative how did you guys meet we've told this before but long I'm gonna like I mean I'll tell the story again but I'll compound it I was an emotional wreck on the last week of The Bachelor airing to the public Laura was under the impression that I had won she didn't know started to get a little bit of heat from the public about a few things in the last week because it really does heat up in at the end everyone sort of picks a side everyone picks a character and everyone gets very invested and I say character because that's the way a lot of people unfortunately look at you on the show and i was at home in my bed crying my eyes out because there were some horrible things written

about me my skin was far too thin then i hadn't experienced what it was like to be trolled i guess ever and i got a random dm from laura and it's almost this like unspoken rule that you once you're on the season season of bachelor you reach out to the the next season i know someone did it to laura laura did it to me so i get this dm from laura never met her don't know her hey babe basically like I've seen what's happening at the moment and that you've been copying a little bit of heat and I know 100% what you're going through because I've been there I have no expectations I'm not trying to get anything from you basically I just want you to know I can imagine what you're doing right now you're probably in bed you think the world hates you you think it's never gonna

get better you can't go outside because you're too embarrassed to see anyone I want you to know it will get better and I want you to know that if you want to talk this is my number and I reckon I called during like 10 minutes and I'm not anyone that ever I've never been like an ask for help person ever I'm always like get through it myself and I'll be there for others and I just never ask for help I was beside myself and I was like fuck I need to speak to this girl because I like the world is over I remember people would understand that actual feeling like that genuine feeling of despair from public people who don't even know you it was and I genuinely felt in hindsight it would have been like 0.5 percent of people I felt like the whole of Australia was against me that

day and you really do you feel like your world is imploding so we spoke on the phone and we spoke for like an hour or something and I didn't tell her any of the ending so she didn't know what had happened she just made me feel better and be like I promise you in one week's time it will be forgotten she's like whatever happens in the ending this will be forgotten and you'll move on and it did and then we started to catch up I was in Port Macquarie we just started to like go for a breakfast or a walk when I came to Sydney mainly because I didn't have any friends here but I was coming from media things and that was really it yeah it's this weird world where like I guess I mean I kind of I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but I kind of knew the ending before the

ending happened I didn't ever know that yeah I kind of until now you always told me you didn't know you bitch no no no I told you I had a I had a feeling so there was like nobody had ever told us we still have some friends that are from the bachelor world nobody ever specifically told us but it was more so whether you're liking bikini photos on instagram yeah it was more so that there was like this lack of certainty around the way that he was speaking so like from from like me knowing and being with matt when somebody comes out of that situation they're like regardless of who they've chosen the normal thing to say is i am in love and he just kept saying i had a good experience and i was like that's a fucking weird thing to say if you're really really in love with

someone and because we are so in tune with the language that's been used on the show i guess at that time I was like I have a feeling he hasn't picked anyone or if he has picked someone it's already over so it wasn't so much that I reached out to Brit because I was adamant that she was the person at the end but I mean I just know all the backlash that Matt and I received and I know I remember thinking if all of Australia doesn't want us to be together how the fuck is this relationship ever going to work and it felt like on our finale night all of Australia didn't want us to be together but then turns out you know six months later people forget I still get messages from people today on Instagram who will say something nice or something funny or something,

you know, they'll reply back to one of my stories. And the comment above that is from 2016. And they've been like, he should have picked Hara. And that's what they've written to me. And then they have forgotten that they hated me and now they like me. So this is what I mean by people don't remember. People attach onto something that happens in, you know, on TV and they get really angry. And then five months later, they're like, oh, they're still together. That's cute. And they jump on the bandwagon so i wanted brit to know that just because you feel like everyone hates you people just get really riled up about the bachelor people really fucking care about the outcome and then we just couldn't get rid of each other yeah and then every blind day and then you

know she got her relationship out of the bachelor the one that she always wanted the true love story okay what's your worst habit i'm actually more interested in finding out what you think each other's worst oh i know laura's already fucked straight up i forget everything what's my worst habit i think laura's worst habit is and and it's i know the reason you do it but i wonder if we think it's the same thing i guarantee it i guarantee it laura's habit oh no okay so you i can tell it's different way to attack someone i think laura's worst habit is she's got a really bad habit of and it's because she does a thousand things at once of like not replying to a message that i that i like i fucking really need it and sometimes i will send the question

i have to you know what this is how desperate i get sometimes i'll ask the same question over three days i'll do it via message email person phone call whatsapp and then yes this is true and then when there's one hour where there's through matt i've even gotten matt i have messaged matt before and said tell your fiance to get back to me and then it's always in like when i'm like laura we've got one hour left i need this and she's like oh okay fine sorry babe and then she gives me the answer and i'm like that's for me i'm like that's why you're worse out of me and i know it's just because you're doing a thousand things at once but that doesn't take away from the fact that it's but it's also i find okay this is like this is me defending

myself now in my defense in my defense i find it really hard when i'm constantly getting ad hoc one question here one question here one question here one question here and i'm like already trying to chase after two kids run another business and i can't just drop whatever it is i'm doing to answer one random question whenever it comes up in somebody else's brain do you know i will admit i received these held your phone while you've been recording before i've never seen anything like it i have literally never seen a phone illuminate that much and i'm like and that's the thing it doesn't even have to be in your defense because i i know the reason like that doesn't take still my worst can i say what i think is the worst quality is that snort

that you don't even like she don't even register that you snorted you just laugh she like snorts the snot back into her nose so you guys don't know this about me but if i ever get a fucking nose job one day this is why so i have like tiny tiny sinuses tiny sinuses where i can't breathe properly and don't try and make it sound cute yeah they're like really adorable sinuses they're so cute which means the snot gets caught in my face and every so often i just have to make that like noise and i do it probably like 500 times a day could you imagine what it was like for matt when he was like i've just chosen this girl my last female on the bachelor and then he found out that that's the person i am i fucking never replied a text and i snort all day she

pretty much does it like 20 times an episode but she edits it out all right come on what's mine what's mine i'm scared to hear it i've got heaps no i don't know what your worst quality is i feel attack not a quality you're trying to attack my character you fucking bitch god it's god woman it's just not my character what i don't know what your worst quality is okay cool i've got none next question i think if i'm like at a stretch to choose something and it's only because i've been asked um this makes me nervous no i know i think maybe because like and this is only a reflection of how stressed i feel in life at the moment you're a yes person yes yes yes we'll do it yes yes yes yes yes and then you worry about how it's gonna get done later which is fine but really

really fucking hard when you've got so many things on a boil and you're like yeah we'll do it yeah we'll do it we'll do that too oh my god we'll write a novel fuck yeah i'll write a novel i will i'll do a radio show fuck yeah i'll do a radio show and i'm like britney stop come back from the brink i will 100 say that i also agree that that is my worst quality i am i am a sick a fan very true because i know that like good things come from opportunities so i'm like yeah sure i'll move to alaska tomorrow like every day every day britney's like oh i'm now acting on a fucking 10 part series and i probably won't see you for the next six months but don't worry we'll still be able to record the podcast from sri lanka just say no to a couple of things i'm gonna it's

my resolution for when i get back from overseas using exercising the word no yeah but i'll be like yes maybe okay well i like this i'm actually interested in this i don't need the answer have you guys ever had a disagreement if so what was it about yeah we're like sisters we fucking fight but we also love each other we like oh have you had a real one though we've never had a real one but we bicker the thing is we are still britney says yes to everything britney says yes and laura doesn't write except for anal play apparently no so in all seriousness the thing is we do spend so much time together but we still are different humans that have different opinions and different ideas about things so sometimes i'll really want

to do something or be passionate about something and laura's like i think that's boring i don't get it i don't want to do it and vice versa i'll be like i really think this would be great and i'll be like meh things like that so we disagree on sometimes content sometimes what we should be doing how we should do it like two normal people would two friends two business partners and I think one of the really important things of this and I know that there's going to be people who listen to this and relate to it one of the great things about Brit and I is that we're in very very different stages of our lives like I obviously like have the kids and like Brit is you know running around going to go see Jordan like we are in very different stages as much as like that one

brings for so much positivity into our lives it means I get to have really adult conversations I get to come and do this podcast I'm not just constantly in baby world but it also means that sometimes there's pressure points because as much as we live these very different lives we have to then come together and merge and anybody who has kids knows that sometimes it's challenging to maintain friendships and to maintain the same level of connection with someone who doesn't purely because the life stages are different so we at some times have experienced all those pressure points but at the same time we love each other and we have this podcast and we fucking love making it and so we always kind of come out the other side of it and we better we talk it through

straight away so if like if we're frustrated with each other about anything which and mind you I want you guys to know this is actually very rare this doesn't happen often but we'll just talk it out straight away and then on the spot and then we get really like we get really like awkward we're like we got cuddle and stuff and we're like love you and it's like we have everybody takes her top off and then like you know and then the anal I reckon everyone likes a finger in the butt whoa everyone every guy like i'm so over them being like oh what are you doing maybe they don't actually want the finger i have never met a guy actually do you know i have i'm gonna say this matt does not like a finger in the bottom i don't think a finger i just think around

the general area i don't think they all like it i don't think we can stereotype that do they all shoot their sperm yes do they all like your finger in the butt no okay next question pinky in the We're not having a whole bonus episode on butts, guys. Okay. Britt, this is a question from me. Have you ever tried Laura's breast milk as you said you wanted to? She won't let me. I don't express, so she'd have to take it straight from the source.

It doesn't get fresher than that. Okay. Who is your hall pass? Jason Momoa. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt? Really? Oh, Brad Pitt.

Really? Really? yeah it doesn't even so that's like it's literally like you just went to the shelf and you're like where's the white bread ah that's what everybody eats Brad Pitt yeah but why do you think it's not 2005 for why it doesn't matter why do you think everyone eats him he's peaked and he's on the way down oh he's still sexy lately yeah he's like a little silver fox look Brad he's like mainstream of course he's just like he'll always be top shelf Jason Momoa we know he's your daddy but I will climb that man like the mountain he is.

He's too big and woolly for me. I remember the first time I said to Matt that he was my pass out and then he was like, I feel particularly insignificant that you would say that. He's like, why did you have to pick someone so big? I also like that you call it a pass out. Pass out? Whore pass.

Whore pass. You're like, he's my pass out. I will let him make me pass out. My other one, if you want somebody that's a little bit left field, it's Sam Heughan. And if anyone watches Outlander, you'll know he's Jamie from Outlander. He's Scottish. he's the reason or not him the character in the book jamie is the reason sheridan and i

moved to scotland and lived there for a year then i auditioned for the show and i got on as an extra that is how much i'm obsessed with outlander could you imagine sam hewan if you ever met him and then you told him that he would be like cool need to get an avio out against this bitch i super liked him on rail i think i even um raya has this thing i'm just outing myself raya has like i guess a direct message where you don't have to match or you can still message them and messaged him is this the guy that i asked you about at dinner the other night and i said it looked like frodo baggins yes you don't that's why you don't have a job here anymore so he's my other if you guys don't know i'm looking up you will all want to play slip and

slide on him he's beautiful no i'm sorry i'm putting up a poll frodo baggins or is this guy hot no i have one more guys you know that i told you about this is us i recommended that series this is us and so many of you went and watched it because i said it was the best series i've ever watched the dad in that the main guy jack his character fuck me you would you will die for him and then someone pointed out to me that jordan looks exactly like him so i think that's where that came from too so i'm just going to add that in a bit of a tie yeah did you girls always know that you wanted children i didn't necessarily want children i think big one for me with having kids and I'm so happy that I have kids now but I never had that maternal pull to have them if it meant

I wasn't doing it with my partner so I wouldn't have had kids if they weren't Matt's kids and I know how important kids were to him so that's kind of what changed my mind yeah so do you think if you weren't with Matt and you were I guess like if you were this age now and single do you think you would still want them or do you think it was purely because of Matt like did you actually have no desire I guess the thing is is like I wouldn't know where I'd be at if I wasn't with Matt so like I can't answer that question honestly because I can only answer it from the person who was 30 years old and wasn't sure if she wanted to have kids but I also had never been in like a happy stable relationship that made me feel like it was a safe environment to have kids

and like I mean some of you might know but I think like I don't really talk about my childhood very often at all and it was not great when it came to like male figures in my life my dad was absent for a lot of my childhood or he was you know my parents were separated but my mom was married to a pretty shitty guy my stepdad and so I just never wanted my life to be really hard like my mom's life was hard and that's kind of what I saw parenting could be like and I didn't have the role models of what it could look like if it was a happy family unit and now I know that nothing is a guarantee forever and I know that like there is no signed sealed contract that means that Matt and I are going to parent Marley and Lola for the rest of our lives although that is our absolute

intention but it was the relationship that changed my mind it was his enthusiasm about being a parent and also being a good dad which changed my mind as well being a family yeah yeah I think that that question also often when you talk about having children and stuff if you have had a different experience to what is like the happy family unit it can often change your perspective on having a family unit of your own in the future yeah and I think like I said I'm so so happy that I have children and like Marley and Lola are my absolute world and I've really taken to motherhood I didn't realize how much motherhood transforms you like I know that you can we see the memes and we see people talking about it on social media but like I never really bought into that narrative I didn't

realize how much it changes every facet of your life and of your identity so I am a better person now for being a mom but I wouldn't have learned the lessons that I've learned so I think it's one of those things where like the beauty of hindsight if I was still in the same position whether I would have this reflection how about you brit do you solid answer thank you thank you very much i uh in all honesty i'm 33 34 this year i have changed a lot over the years with my perspective and what i think i wanted i remember we've been with my first boyfriend who was with for eight years and i remember at like 17 saying to him i'm gonna be a young mom like we're gonna have kids young i want four kids by like 25 because when you're 17 25 is fucking old as the years went by and also

I'll never know if this happened because of the relationships I was in or I don't know why I changed but I started to want them less and less not necessarily want them less and less but it's because you see my kids no no I was unsure and then I met Laura's kids and I was positive that's a lie I think as the years went by and you get older and maybe it was because I was single I was traveling the world my priorities shifted all of a sudden I didn't want to just be in a small town having children and not that there's anything wrong with that it was just I went through this bad breakup and I made a decision that all of a sudden I wanted to travel the world and having kids isn't conducive to that also I had no partner so as I get older now I mean I just

froze my eggs quite recently and that is because I'm still unsure I'm 34 and I still don't know part of me thinks I can't see my life without a child but I'm still not ready I still feel like and I know I need to sort of start to become ready purely because of an age thing and a biological clock thing and we just know it does get a little bit more difficult but I don't have that overly maternal pull right now and I think that's still because I'm very focused on career and I'm very happy in my life.

My partner lives on the other side of the world. I'm hoping that that changes because I want to really want them. Like I do want to feel like I really want them. Otherwise, I've been asking my friends recently, literally like last week, I'm like how did you know? How do you know you want kids? because it's really concerning to me that I don't have a clear answer.

I don't think it needs to be concerning. I think that you are still unsure or even that you want to be like definitive in your answer. But I do think that we have been sold this fairy tale. I think that we've been sold that like you should expect to want to have children. But more and more these days, we're seeing people who are childless by choice.

There are so many sacrifices that you have to make in being a mother. It's not just all of the beautiful things that you see on social media. it's not easy it's a fucking huge sacrifice and I think that there are people who make that decision and also regret that decision I know that that's a really taboo thing to talk about and I know it's a topic that I don't think anyone wants to touch because for fear of the backlash but there are people and there are times when people think like fuck my life was a lot easier before I had kids

I don't have any regret about my change of mind like I'm so happy that I'm a mum now however like I said if my circumstances had been different I don't know if I would have changed my mind if I hadn't met Matt if I met someone who didn't want to have kids maybe I would have a life without kids but you just you don't know you life kind of changes depending on what you are presented with and what journey you kind of end up on yeah and the reason I say that I hope that I do have a definitive answer on whether I want them or not is purely because like you just said it is such a big sacrifice it's a big decision it's not like oh should I go to Europe this summer like should spend that much money on Europe let's just see what happens no the decision is I'm never going

to Europe again no but you know like oh should I should I go for this job let's see what happens like that's okay because what's the worst thing that can happen you can go and change your job having a child is forever and it's not a decision that I think well for me it's not a decision I want to take lightly I want if I have a child I want to make a conscious decision that I've like yep I bloody want this and I'm gonna make it happen I don't want to be like do I don't I do you're like oh i'll just do it yeah and i think like it's you know whatever is for everyone but the reason i froze my eggs is i want the option and i want the choice and i know that at 34 i'm you know i'm in the medical industry i know what happens to my eggs and i know that they're

deteriorating and they are the test said that they are so now i've just taken control over that and whatever happens in the future i know that i've done the right thing and i have the option so i'm just gonna see what happens maybe maybe i'll have a little tennis baby maybe i won't we'll see watch this space I'm very excited for you to kind of tell your story about your egg freezing process and just seeing you go through that I think I learned so much by literally watching you and I think that'll be a pretty powerful episode a lot of you guys are running in about that and I understand that you all have a lot of questions and I promise you that we are going to do like a solid chunk in an episode on it so I will answer them so please don't think I'm ignoring you if I

haven't gotten back to you but there has been a lot of you like thousands of you but we 100% we'll do a really good solid chat on it. All right, guys, that is it from us. We are actually going to go and take a holiday now. Now, we just wanted to bring out this little bonus episode to keep you happy, to keep a bit of content up in your feeds. To keep you satiated. And also to keep Keisha employed.

Woo! Thank you, legends. And also, Laura is off to enjoy a holiday in a tomato place. Lucky Matt. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends to share the love because we love love! Thanks for watching!