Life Uncut - ASK UNCT - Victoria Secret Angels in hell. Breakup etiquette, chasing penguins, waiting for the one.

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

It's Therapy Thursday and we have some biggies for you today!To kick it off we are talking about the Victoria Secret rebrand and hey, Victoria Secret now care about women's rights and are advocating for women, by kicking some other women to the curve and replacing them with new women. Bye bye VS angels, hello VS collective... but is this perforative and too little too late?For today's questions we are unpacking When is too soon to get back on the dating apps after a breakup, my ex thinks I'm disrespectful Is single gal time really necessary or should I chase my maybe penguin? Should I hold out hope for a guy who is still hung up on his ex... If you have a question for Life Uncut, jump on our instagram and slide on in to the old DM's you saucy minx. @lifeuncutpodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut, I'm Brittany and I'm Laura and this is our Ask Uncut episode where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. Guys, this is our second record where I have been overseas and it is done by Zoom. And if you listened to Tuesday's episode, you would have heard that some of that was done by Zoom. And I guess it was sort of like we were on our training wheels a little bit with a Zoom record. Laura and I have never had to Zoom record before, except for actually the beginning of isolation in COVID. And to be honest, we probably should have road tested it a couple of times, except we didn't. And then listening back to the record, it kind of sounded like two people who, you know,

when you're in that like an office meeting on zoom and you're like no you talk no you talk okay i'll talk and then you talk over the top of each other that's pretty much what we did for the entire recording until we actually got our mojo right but we just want to say thank you for persevering with us and we have it dialed now and we do not need to worry about these issues and the podcast will remain unaffected yeah it's totally under control now it was training wheels for a while and we actually did plan on doing all these practice records right we're like okay tomorrow we're going to do this we're going to practice this but we were so swamped trying to get other records done before we went away and we had all these amazing interviews that we're bringing to you guys

but anyway we are back and we are on track and today we are doing a down and dirty and sexy ask uncut the best of the best the cream of the crop is it the cream of the crop or the creme of the crop who knows anyway we've chosen some questions to answer and give our enthusiastic advice but before we do that if you guys follow us on instagram you would have seen this last week but very soon we have some merch coming and we are extremely excited by it and at the moment it is at the embroiderers it's getting embroidered in sydney and as soon as it's finished which will be in the next fortnight we will have it up on our brand new website there are big things happening in this space we'll keep you guys posted as soon as they're available but we're so stoked to have

them out yeah we are so stoked to bring you these so at the moment we just have three of our favorite jumpers like crew next wed is coming your way different colors we had a lot of people messaging about sizes we're going up to double XL and we're obviously starting down at a small now on top of that I have a question at the moment they're just life uncut jumpers I was vetoed a little bit here on this guys I want to produce some sweaters or some shirts that has something like riding the roller coaster just riding the roller coaster something that incorporates my ridiculous language it was too soon apparently I was like can we at least get a life uncut one done first and then maybe something around we love love and then then if they sell we can go down the lola derby whatever

you want to do lane i will be fully on board and subscribed to the lola coaster if we manage to sell the first view like it will make my year to produce some merchandise that at least one person buys that says something like riding the lola coaster lola derby give me some panel all whatever but i'm gonna leave that up to you guys so i'm gonna end up well we will we'll put well i say we i will do it when the girls don't know i'm on the instagram we will put a poll up and you guys can choose what like motto that we put, what incorporation of the lol we put into it. I'm just waiting for you to start siphoning off money from the bank account. And that's like, I'm like, Hey, where did this money go? Oh, oh, that's right. It's the Lola Coaster sweatshirt that

Brit produced without anyone knowing from Barcelona. Fantastic. But guys, before we get into answering your questions, we did want to talk to you about something that has been circulating in the media in the last week. So what we wanted to talk to you guys about is the rebrand that Victoria's Secret is currently doing. Now, I know that everybody who listens to this podcast, literally everybody in, I would say, Australia and the States is familiar with Victoria's Secret, the brand. We were all brought up pretty well acquainted with the Victoria's Secret angels. Now, in the last week, Victoria's Secret spokespeople have come out and said that they are doing a full rebrand. They're going to get rid of Victoria's Secret angels and they're

going to start what's called the Victoria's Secret Collective. And now the Victoria's Secret collective is based on diversity they've employed seven aspirational and inspirational women and of those seven influential and diverse role models it includes Sudanese refugee Adut Akech, transgender soccer player Megan Rapinoe and actor and activist Priyanka Chopra. Now this is a pretty impressive move from Victoria's Secret however there has been a lot of conversation and backlash that's happen across social media because as much as the brand is wanting to rebrand themselves quite literally there is a pretty dark and seedy past that is mixed up in the victoria secret brand and we wanted to kind of talk about that a little bit and unpack it i think the problem is over the last

few years and actually i shouldn't say the last few years this was as recently as just one year ago so while it's so amazing to say oh look how far they've come look at them progressing look at them doing the right thing look at them changing their models and this was only still one year ago so it's like yeah well hello and welcome to 2021 about time right yeah they're completely behind the times okay so there's two head honchos of Victoria's Secrets there's Les Wexner who's he's a billionaire founder but then there's like his right hand man Ed Rezek and he's probably who you've heard the most he was who I had heard the most because he's the person that was more hands on and actually no pun intended but he was very hands-on with the models but what has come out

is a whole lot of misogyny a whole lot of harassment a whole lot of bullying on both of these men's behalf a lot of models have come forward well they started to come forward and say you know I was touched inappropriately I was sexually harassed I was bullied and they went to the top to Les Wexner to complain about this ill treatment the ill treatment was done by Ed Rezek and some other photographers but this was literally brushed under the carpet not only was it forgotten and ignored but the models that came forward to complain were actually punished by never being used again. Now what this did was create this environment where these women couldn't feel safe. They felt like they couldn't be seen and couldn't be heard and they felt like they

didn't have a right to go and complain about being harassed and bullied because it meant they would be out of work. There's also been some controversy linking the founder to Jeffrey Epstein. So all in all this is just one big shit show. No longer is the founder in charge. He has since retired but again, too little, too late. This was 12 months ago. Yeah. And this comes off the back of this really quite enlightening and profound article, which was published by the New York Times. So on the 2nd of Feb in 2020, New York Times published an expose on the brand and it was called Angels in Hell, the Culture of Misogyny Inside Victoria's Secret. So obviously this huge rebrand has come off the back of this expose, but I just want to read you a little paragraph

out of this article. Ed Razek, for decades, one of the top executives at L Brands, the parent company of Victoria's Secret was the subject of repeated complaints about inappropriate conduct. He tried to kiss models. He asked them to sit on his lap. He touched one's crotch ahead of the 2018 Victoria's Secret fashion show. Executives said they had alerted Leslie Wexner, the billionaire founder and chief executive of L Brands, about his deputy's pattern of behavior. Some women who complained faced retaliation. One model, Andy Muse, said Victoria's Secret had stopped hiring her for its fashion shows after she rebuffed Mr Razik's advances just like we said it is and this is nothing to take away from the seven incredible women who have now taken the place of Victoria

Secret Angels but the reality is is is this brand rebranding because they want to be socially accountable and they want to step into the values of 2021 or are they rebranding because there is a social expectation that brands have more conscious awareness is it too little and too late to make such a huge pivot after being embroiled in this controversy and I think the fact as well is is as a brand people have become far more aware like we are not stupid as consumers we can see through the bullshit of what a rebrand is trying to do I mean everyone you can just think of what the Kendall Jenner and the Pepsi marketing campaign which was supposed to tie into Black Lives Matters when brands just jump on the back burner of a what is like supposed to be socially acceptable

but the actual ethos of that isn't part of their core DNA people sniff it out and people will instantly want to refute it and I think that that's what we've been seeing across Instagram and why people are kind of on one hand they're happy that this change is happening but I think there's been a lot of people who are quite angry and see it more as a cover-up than actually a brand trying to jump into 2021. Totally I 100% agree but what I do want to say is I'm a big I mean I'm a big believer in people and brands being able to be given a second chance at things obviously depending on what they've done in this sense the brand has such a big reach and it is very powerful and it has the leading market range in the states in I think in the lingerie in the

world actually the fact that now these toxic people and the founder he's not involved anymore so I'm hoping that what's happened is these new people coming in they're running the show and they're just going to use the power and reach they have for good so I'm hoping that their rebrand is great and they are doing the right thing and they're going to start sending the right message I mean, one of the reasons, though, that people have been calling bullshit on this whole thing is that the conversation has kind of come back around to this idea that you can't be diverse and you can't be inclusive without being size inclusive. And Victoria's Secret at the moment is still not size inclusive. So as much as they've done so much to try and be like, hey, guys, look at us. We've made huge changes.

We're trying to advocate for women. We're trying to be a voice for women's rights. They are still so lacking in this conversation. I think one part of me wants to be like yeah so good on you for doing this rebrand but the other part of me really kind of sits in the too little too late camp and I don't know if a brand can completely just pivot who they are and what they stand for overnight especially if that pivot is completely off the backlash of people saying hey this is not enough yeah but I do think that I mean part of the reason these ambassadors the new seven ambassadors have come out saying that they took

the role, even though there's so much controversy, is because they get a lot more say in what's going to be happening moving forward. And I personally can't imagine these women, specifically Priyanka Chopra, not making sure it's size inclusive moving forward. I would be really shocked if we didn't see that happen. But I mean, all we can do is sit back and see what happens now. Also, at the end of the day, the way that you vote is by where you spend your money. So if you're not happy with what a brand is doing and how a brand is showing up in the world, don't shop with them. But that doesn't count for shopping the new Raina Lola Coaster merchandise. We still want you to shop that. Let's get into the questions that we've picked today. For everybody who has sent in their

Ask Uncut questions, we're so grateful that you trust us with our very unqualified but very enthusiastic opinions and also educated advice. We have picked out a few questions which we're going to answer. If you guys have any questions that you want to submit, all you have to do is jump on Life Uncut podcast on Instagram. And you can also send through your accidentally unfiltered stories, which we may read out on Tuesday's episode. Okay. Let's get into question number one. I'm going to kick it off. Bring it. So my friend just got a call from her emotionally abusive ex. They've been separated for three months and one of his mates saw her on the apps saying she went on Bumble too quick. Obviously he's a bit of a dick and doesn't have a right

to say anything to her now. See you later, mate. But should we wait a certain amount of time to get on dating apps after a breakup they were together 15 years and engaged it was toxic for the last couple of years now we just want to know what is the right amount of time to get back on the dating apps after a breakup this is so easy for me a no you have not done anything wrong by going back on a dating app b there is no right amount of time there is no bible there's not like a breakup bible that is standardized and universal for every single person unfortunately he sounds like he's hurting because you were together for 15 years it's never ever ever no matter how long easy to see someone you loved and someone you were with move on it's not I've been split up with

people for years before and not even liked them and then I see them and I'm like oh you're dating someone else I'm like it was years ago it's still this little pang of oh it's not me they're moving on what was wrong but ultimately only you know how you feel please don't feel guilty that he's calling you out saying you've gone online dating too quickly because there really really is no rule and you are not doing the wrong thing by putting your feelers back out there have you ever been in a situation where like you were dating a guy and then he was online dating while we're together yeah that's too soon um yeah so like pre-breakup if you're online dating that's probably too soon but like post-breakup fine no have you ever been dating someone and then broken up and then the

next day or the day after or like three days after found out that they were online dating I've known people have moved on really quickly and they're cheating and things like that but I've never had a situation where I've rolled over and seen them online the next day because that means I would have been online too yeah I was gonna say well fair like yeah did that happen yeah of course fair that like the reason why I found out that he was online dating was because I was also online dating but and you're like hey I think that like the reality is is like sometimes you go online dating because like you're not doing it because you're invested you're not necessarily doing it because you're wanting to find the next long-term partner it's like a bit

of a validation a bit of an ego hit you know after going through a breakup and maybe you're feeling a bit lonely and you're at home like there is no investment there and it's a very casual thing to be able to fire up a dating app if that's going to give you some quick like solace and to be able to fill a bit of time I don't think there's anything that you should feel guilty for and I think that so many people jump on dating apps long before they're actually ready to get back into the dating game you know just to kind of see what's going on around them and honestly I have been there multiple multiple times often going on a dating app can be as simple as being a distraction you might have no interest in meeting anyone you might have no interest in talking to anyone

but the difference might be you laying in bed feeling sorry for yourself thinking about your breakup or your ex, or finding something that's going to distract you slightly. What else is out there? Have I made the right decision? What do I think when I look at this? Maybe you want to talk and have banter with someone. Maybe you do want to have an ego boost and see how many people like your profile. You're not doing the wrong thing. So I don't want you to feel guilty. If you wanted to go and get into a relationship tomorrow, a proper relationship, that's also not the wrong thing. Yeah. And I think that there's a couple, I mean, there's a couple of parts. It's like you said at the very beginning, Britt, like there is no one size fits all when it comes to breakups.

and we know that there is definitely some like better ways to treat people like there is you know if you have had some pretty murky conversations around the breakup and like whether or not you're going to be seeing other people whether or not you're like maybe going to get back together like if you haven't set clear boundaries with each other then yeah sure set those boundaries and then go and explore online dating but I think if you've made a clear cut with someone and you've had that conversation the relationship is ended you don't owe them anything and nobody has a right to say to you hey you're not allowed to do that or you shouldn't do that or that hurt my feelings like yeah it might hurt their feelings but it's not your responsibility to take care of their

feelings anymore if you're not in a relationship there's also a chance to and this is something we all do like all humans do it if you're the one that broke up with him and he's the one that has had his heart broken we we've spoken about this before but there's this sort of feeling of no matter what the reason is you find a reason to go back and have communication with that person like oh I just forgot something and I want to do it oh I just want to see for closure oh can I come and pick this up there's a chance that this is just an in for him to talk to you again and and feel out if there's any feelings in there like by him saying oh you're online dating already like does that mean we're over for good or maybe it's just a way for him to reconnect with you because

he's hurting yeah and it's also a massive ego hit you may be cruising around feeling completely fine but then to try and deal and kind of think about the fact that that person that was yours you know and I put yours in like inverted commas here but the person that was yours is now taking agency maybe meeting someone else you fabricate what that could look like and so I think that there is a lot of ego that's kind of bundled up in this and bundled up in that hurt and that feeling of like you've moved on too quickly there is no right wrong right reason if you want to get back on the dating apps you get back on that horse girlfriend and live your best life ride that horse all right Ride that horse into the sunset.

All right, moving on to question number two. Now this is, I feel strongly about this one also. Bit of a backstory. I'm recently out of a long-term relationship earlier this year and I went traveling around Australia backpacking and left Melbourne after isolating with my ex there. While traveling, I met a guy.

We got on so well and had a really fun time. It started with drunken nights and a lot of hot sex and slowly turned into seeing each other and starting to really have feelings for each other. He's super hot, ticks all the boxes. I fancy his personality so much as well as his looks. We traveled for a few months together on the west coast and had an absolutely amazing time. Now on a working holiday visa you have to do farm work so he's had to go to a farm for six months in the middle of nowhere. I'm sponsored so I came back to Melbourne to spend some time with my

amazing girlfriends because I'm not that long out of that relationship. I know I need some time alone So we ended things so I could focus on myself and do some of the things that single girls do like single girl development. I feel like she's read a book. However, I've had some thoughts lately. They've really been gnawing at me. He was literally perfect. I thought maybe it was just lust, but I've never met anyone that ticks my boxes so much. He's so caring. We have the same values, the same plan for the future. I'm afraid that I'm going to regret ending it and that I should have given it more of a chance maybe even do long distance do I have to have time between these relationships and do the single girl thing or should I tell him

how I feel this is easy you tell him how you feel fucking go lock that shit down that's so hard to come by girl yeah I think look it's important if you feel like you come out of a relationship and you feel like you've lost yourself you feel like you need time to work on yourself yeah sure we advocate for having you time and making sure that you're in a good healthy mindset and a good healthy place to move into a new relationship things are not linear life is not perfect sometimes someone will come along and plans will change I think if you feel all these things and you've left and he's not a part of your life right now and you've had a little bit of distance and you're still feeling this way then don't let a good opportunity walk you by absolutely I think

that exactly what Laura said if you actually do need to work on yourself because you're not over your ex-relationship and you are not ready to date that's one thing but if the only reason that you don't want to be with him is that you feel like you needed to do the single girl thing like that is a huge thing I remember feeling like that after my eight-year relationship I remember thinking like I need to be single and I wanted to live that life I met someone soon after as well and I got back into the relationship because I had to weigh up what was more important to me going and hooking up with random people because I wanted to do the single girl thing or you know finding someone and being with someone that I actually had feelings for after being single for so long and dating so

many absolute douchebags I can tell you that these feelings are really really rare and really special connections they actually don't come along as often as we like to think I think if you really think that you have met someone that you can't stop thinking about that ticks every one of your boxes and that you literally want to fly back to sea I think you should do it and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out but at least you'll know you will 100% regret if you push him away because you're determined to do a single life then he moves on then when you're ready you go back to find him and it's done you will kick yourself forever have some like honest conversations with yourself not literally sit down and talk to yourself because you I mean if that's what works

but no I mean have some genuine honest thoughts and feelings and think through them and like how are you going to feel about doing long distance? Is long distance the type of relationship that will make you happy? There's a lot of other things to consider here. It's not just like, oh, I've got all these feelings. I'm going to go chase this guy. And it's going to be like, so sex in the city, Hollywood, meet me on the bridge, whatever. I think you can unpack this a little bit yourself and figure out, would he be able to give you the type of relationship that would make you happy right now? If that answer is a no, then you know what? Sometimes feelings can be strong, but they don't meet all of our other criteria and you can move on. But if this

guy does actually meet all the criteria, he can give you the type of relationship that you're after, then pursue it. Like I'm all for like taking risks in relationships. I'm all for like wearing your heart on your sleeve. And I think that you'll never regret the conversations that you choose to have. For sure. You both have to be ready. Like it is one thing for us to say, go and get it. But you do have to both be ready and wanting the same thing. And the only reason I say go get him is because you both said you do want the same things in life. I definitely 100 000 million percent did not want a relationship that was long distance i've done it but here i am because i met someone that struck those feelings with me and i decided to go and chase that that

was more important maybe if this person is your penguin six months long distance if you can still see each other whatever it's going to be i mean you said it's only six months that's not the end of the world especially if you can still get to each other to see each other in that time so i just really wouldn't overthink this one personally and I'm a romantic but I would let my feelings drive this one and I'd see what happens all right I'm bringing you another relationship one we're very heavy on the coupley couples today well there's a lot of relationships questions flooding the Instagram at the moment isn't there here we are I've got another one I was recently seeing this guy for a few months and everything was going great we got along so well we had common

interests and values three months in and he has sent me a message saying that he needs to pull away as he is not over his past relationship. I found out he started seeing me only a month after ending his six year relationship. He was so honest and genuine in his message. At least I think he was. And he said, I don't expect you to wait, but down the track, if we are both in the right place, I'd love to try again. Now, usually I would just say, see ya, but I've been single for a long time. And this is the first time I've seen a future with someone. How do I know if he's being genuine and how do i stop myself from waiting around slash having hope please help okay let's unpack this do not wait uh okay so i'm gonna say i'm gonna also say do not wait but i'm gonna say

don't necessarily close it off and shut that relationship down or the idea that it could be something down but i'm a big believer on not putting your life on hold he can't press pause and say let's revisit this in six months and don't go on any dates with anyone else and don't have feelings for anyone else and don't kiss anyone else like pause where we are and we'll come back in six months that's not fair and there'll be a big part of you that will want to do that because you have the feelings I don't think you need to throw the relationship with him in the bin but I think you need to see what happens and live your life to the absolute fullest and if you want to date someone if someone else comes into your life or you want to go travel or you want to do whatever

it is I think you live your true authentic life and then in six months if you're still in a position where you have those feelings and he comes back and says I'm ready then brilliant but there's also a chance that maybe you'll realize in six months that the feelings you thought you had weren't there so I have a bit of a different opinion to Brit and the reason why I have a different opinion is because I think by leaving a little bit of a door open for someone you can make yourself feel stuck so yes you might try and convince yourself oh yeah I'm open to dating I'm open to all these other things but because there's a little bit of a window still left open for that person you're never actually going to be able to meet someone or move on

completely because you're like, there's hope there. And for as long as there's hope, you're not going to actually invest yourself into somebody else. You'll still go on a date and you'll compare it or you'll get a text message from him. And then you'll be like, oh, I can't be bothered to go meet that guy because really I'm still waiting on this old guy over here to text me six months later. I think the only way which would work for me in this situation would be to shut that shit down. Like, thank you. You know how I feel about you. Like, let's just leave it here and then genuinely go on with your life, go on dating people, move on as though he doesn't exist. And if he does pop up and those feelings are still there in six months time, but I don't

think that you should have him on the side. I don't think that you should still be in contact because then you're in a situation ship, even though he has outlined that he doesn't want anything. So sorry, I might not have made myself clear enough. That's what I'm saying. I don't think you should go and keep seeing him. I'm just saying in your mind, don't say he's a dickhead because he doesn't want to be with me. Don't throw him under a bus. He's been really honest. I'm just saying go and live your life however you want and tell him that you're going to do that like I think the most important thing is that he knows you're not going to wait like that's the number one thing because if he thinks that you're just sitting there waiting and he can pull whatever strings

he wants that's when it becomes a little bit trickier and a little bit more detrimental to you and your mental health I think be really honest and be like look you know how I feel about you do I want this relationship 100% like I want to be here with you I want to do this but I'm not willing to put my life on pause for six months so you know in six months come and see where I'm at but in your head you might be dating someone else you don't know that and what is this like arbitrary time like that this is the thing that I can never get my head around like the issue is is like I need time to get over something it might take him two fucking years to get over his ex you don't know he might never get over his ex they might get back together like there is so

much ambiguity around what he's saying to you and I also think I've I really have feelings for you maybe we can see if something happens in the future is a really soft break. It's a really nice way of him saying, it's not you, it's me, right? It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. So I don't want to sound brutal and I don't want to like break your heart and saying this because it really hurts when you found someone who you think you could see a future with, but your timelines don't align. But I strongly believe in the saying, the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. I agree with that. And he is not your penguin and if he is and does turn out to be your penguin in a year or six months or whatever

it is down the track he will be a different person because he would have gotten over his ex he would have moved on he will be very different to the person he is right now so I think like you need to put a block in your mind with this guy you need to kind of put it to bed and you like sure let him know how you feel but then move on and live your life and do not put it on hold or live in purgatory or have a situation shift because you are worth more than that. And we do need to actually listen to what our partners or people in our life say to us. If they say, I don't want to be with you,

maybe we'll reassess it down the track. That's not code for I'm just playing hard to get and we'll get back together next week. They're saying they don't want to be with you. And it's just really hard to comprehend when you don't have those feelings and you're obsessed and you're so in love and you see the relationship. But it's really important to listen when people speak to you. and also like that saying of like you know when someone shows you who they are believe them the

first time like I'm really into my I'm into my one line of quotes I'm like a I'm like an Instagram over here guys come to me for your inspirational Instagram quotes Gandhi no but I completely agree with that and I think that sometimes we and especially women maybe I'm going to stereotype a little bit in saying this but I do think women do it more we see the potential in what a relationship could be not what a relationship is and I think we can all be and probably have being guilty of that at certain times certainly me with the guy with the mattress on the floor but don't focus on the potential of what it could be because the reality is is it's not that right now so move on girlfriend okay while we're here let's just do one more threesomes oh yeah okay

keep the spicy shit for last my sexuality is pretty fluid i have a friend who i find really attractive but i've never hit on her or anything then i met her husband and poof he's very attractive too we were out with a group i was chatting to him she came over and stood between us one arm on each side and put one arm around both of us and there was this moment that felt like everything fell into place and it just felt really right then the evening went on as normal later i couldn't stop thinking about it and i have been feeling incredibly drawn to them and the idea of a threesome with both of them since do I ask them about it do I hint and see how they respond do I leave it alone I don't want to cause problems for them or lose the friendship or make

it awkward but I also don't want to miss out on what could be an amazing fun threesome what would you do what do you want to do when you want to have a threesome with that guy well the first time I asked you uh she then goes on to say I love the respectful advice you give so I just wanted to add that bit in there okay so brit if you were gonna ask matt and i for a threesome how would you go about it do you not take any offense but i would not i would not i'm deeply deeply offended is it because of how like their wild sex life that i've talked about on this podcast all the time you feel like you're missing out it's the two minutes it's the two minutes that's the bit that gets longer than seven like two minutes okay guys the daily mail is gonna write an article

matt has no time frame he has no stamina problems guys i just want you all to know that he has taken liquid Viagra he has no stamina problem look my only concern is I'm all about everyone living their best life I'm all about approaching people and if you want to hit on people if you want to ask people out if you want to ask people for threesomes I'm all for that the only thing I'm worried about is is there anything else that has made you believe that they want a threesome or that they're open to that other than the one thing you've told us which is that she came up and put her arm around both of you and that you felt a moment like was there anything else because for me and only you're going to know in that moment you know you can get a feeling from people you

can get the look from people you can get that energy from people but you can also misread a situation you can heavily misread it we've all been there i'm gonna say if that was the only thing that happened i'd be very cautious about asking them if there's been other like touchy feely things or flirty things that you know then you could definitely start to put your feelers out i think what i would do in this situation what i would probably do is be really like maybe pose the question to them one night that you're having drinks where it's not feet would you have a threesome with me maybe you could be like if the conversation goes that way like have you guys had a threesome before or have any of you had a threesome before I would just pose it as a general

question because you will know straight away whether like oh my god I would never and then you'd be like oh yeah same yeah I hate those reasons I gotta go I completely agree with you this actually makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable for you this question I think the only way that you can approach this is the soft ask of like have you guys ever had a threesome before and it has to be done like in a very casual setting where like clothes are on everyone is like at distance at a table it's gonna be like yeah it's gonna be like a fun funny environment it can't be like a intimate conversation or you can't just go from like talking about politics to being like so have you ever had the threesome with like a deep eye lock stare it's gonna be an organic

segue totally i also am like worried about this one and this isn't like me being like a crazy frigid old mum these are your friends it depends on how close you are in the friendship because like I think there is a possibility as well if you're like posing threesomes that could cause like some insecurities as well I think for example Britt if you said to me I want to have a threesome with you and Matt I'd be like um makes me feel a bit weird that you want to have sex with Matt like there's something in there that I think I wouldn't feel comfortable with like that would cause an insecurity in me I think I agree and I think that and again it's very personal but I don't know many husband and wife couples that would probably want to have threesomes with friends for that reason

because I think that gets tricky the people that I know and I a lot of people in my life that like a lot of friends and stuff get freaky all the time I know heaps of people everyone's freaky but I but I know that from having these conversations that a lot of the time probably 95% of the time it's with people that they don't know and usually the couples make that decision usually the couples is like okay if we're going to go and do this let's do it so it's not someone we run into it's not someone that is in our life it's not someone I know that you're going to go and see behind my back it's always usually just a random person that I've met wherever on a dating app or out at a bar or it's never anyone that's like in a close relationship to them because I

think that that's when it also causes a lot of problems and hey there's probably a lot of you out there that have had a successful threesome with people that you know and it's completely fine but we can't answer that we don't know what your relationship is like with them I would just say tread carefully I 100% agree I think you need to tread very very carefully and I do think assess how important they are as friends and whether or not having a sexual relationship with them in any way or posing the question whether or not that could have issues in the friendship whether that's going to deconstruct the friendship like that's something to consider and I do also agree that normally in that situation it is the couple that kind of maintains

it has to be mutually respectful for every single person but I do think the couple there's a much greater element of them needing to be secure in the decisions that are being made because there's far more at stake for them as a couple having a threesome than there is for you so you can pose the question in a casual fun way and then if it's not picked up straight away if you're not getting back any vibes and I would say some pretty concrete vibes maybe don't go back there maybe you like have a threesome with someone else because the thing is too if there was that moment and they're interested like if they felt the same moment that you felt if you bring up the topic of a threesome they're going to know they're going to buy it you'll have them hook line and sinker

so I think you'll know by just starting that conversation so good luck I hope whatever happens it works out for you controversial question to end the episode on Brittany have you ever had a threesome not controversial but no I haven't have you no I feel like we're such little frigid little ladies like the opportunities never presented itself i'll be honest like no one's it's i've never been in a situation where i felt like it could escalate to a threesome i just haven't had the interest i just don't have the interest at all no i mean like if i ever wanted to do it to be with a partner it would have to be with another guy no i wouldn't do it with a girl no another guy is so scary it's like too many penises yes we know you like girl and girl what

What am I going to do with them all? Well, there's only two. But it's not, threesomes are not for me. And like, that's the thing, they're not for everyone. And that doesn't make us. Frigid. That doesn't make us like frigid and not adventurous. We can still do, we can still adventure.

We can still put our Dora the Explorer backpack on and get amongst it. Don't worry, I still get freaky in the sheets, guys. I reckon if the opportunity had presented itself in my younger years, but that boat is sailed, girlfriend. Has it sailed, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you would never know. I would get too jealous now.

i don't want to share that no i don't want to like i'm just not interested like it's not how would you feel now you think you would be too jealous to see matt with another woman even though you're there i just love what we have now and i know that i make jokes that i say like we don't have as much sex as we used to we have a four-month-old and a two-year-old we do not have as much sex as we used to but i love what we have i love our life the way it is and i wouldn't want to do something that could potentially screw any of it up and i do think that like you know because I've never experienced it before I don't know how I'm going to react and even if we have all the conversations in the world and it's all very consensual and all that sort of stuff

you wouldn't like I already know you wouldn't like it yeah like once it's happened if my reactions and feelings to it are different to what I think they're going to be going in because you never ever know exactly how you're going to feel about something until you're in that situation and you can't undo it once you can't do it yeah and then you are the one that has to carry that and get over it because you opted in in the first place so i think it just for me emotionally would be way too tricky now i don't think i would like it and i also know matt wouldn't either well there you go guys hope you like the episode laura's never having a threesome that's it for us please keep your questions rolling into instagram life uncut podcast just make sure you put ask

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