Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - A Naked French Man and His Metronome Pen*s

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

Hey Lifers, Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions.Laura has endured one of the most awkward experiences we could imagine. It involves a naked French man on a stage, a crowd and tears in the front row. Vibes for the week: Laura: Book the trip! Book any trip with your friends/family that you have been planning.Britt: Podcast Kill List by WonderyKeeshia: Cloud Nine Curl WandThen we jump into your questions! MY PARTNER DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR CONDOMS BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE ON CONTRACEPTIONWe unpack a situation from love is blind where the male partner expressed that he doesn't find 'condom sex' pleasurable. The female partner says that she does not want to go on a hormonal contraception. What do you do if you and your partner don't 'agree' to using condoms during sex? HOW MANY DATES BEFORE I HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE?I am recently single and back on the market after nearly 4 years. I’ve come out of my past relationship with a lot of confidence and have been using the dating apps a bit and even got myself some friends with benefits. I have found myself in a situation where I like two guys that I have met but I’ve only been on 3 or so dates with each of them over the period of a month. So my question is, how long/how many dates can you go on with people before you need to make a choice. And when do I need to stop my friends with benefits? I don’t want to end up in a situation where they find out about each other and I end up with neither. I don’t know if I am being selfish/giving player vibes. I just put all my eggs in one basket like I did with my ex and ended up in a relationship 1.5years longer than I should have. Please send help DO I INVITE MY DAD'S GIRLFRIEND WHO HE CHEATED ON MY MUM WITH?I am getting married in 3 weeks. My parents have been separated for nearly 25 years. My dad had been in a relationship since they separated, but my mum has always stayed single. The problem is, my dad’s latest girlfriend, who he has been with for at least 6 years, is one of my mum's old friends, and someone he cheated with while still with my mum. My partner and I have been engaged for nearly 2 years, and I told my mum when we got engaged that my dad's girlfriend would be getting invited to the wedding. I was hoping that with nearly 2 years notice she would be able to come to terms with it and be somewhat civil about it. My mum has recently opened up and told me that she blames this woman for, in my mum's words, "ruining her life". I am not close with my dad’s family, so his girlfriend will be the only person he really knows at the wedding. My mum thinks that me inviting my dad's girlfriend to the wedding is me picking their side and that she doesn't know if she will be able to not say anything or start any drama at the wedding when she sees her, as she has been holding onto this hate for so long. I don't want drama, and I hate conflict, but I feel like I'm in a lose lose situation. Do I:A. Uninvite her and risk my dad also not coming to the wedding and a potential fight with himB. Say something to my dad and his girlfriend about my mum's feelings, and ask them to keep their distance at the wedding which could also just result in more drama.C. Try to stay out of it and cross my fingers that everyone just behavesI feel sick about it all and it's taking over anything else I can think about leading up to my wedding. HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE ON HER BIRTHDAYMy best friend's bf is getting ready to propose, in PARIS! They’re going on a trip to Europe for her birthday (I’m also going on this trip) and he just told me he wants to do it the night of her actual birthday. I personally wouldn’t want to be proposed to on my birthday. However, I don’t know if she would love it or not and I can’t exactly ask her any questions without giving it away! What are your thoughts!? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Cammeraygal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. My sheet won't load. What are you going to do? I'm going to have to go rogue. I'll have to raw dog it.

See what I did there? Okay. Do you know any of the questions that we have for the episode? Just so you know, if you've never listened to a Life Uncut episode before, this is Ask Uncut, where we answer your deep, your dark, and your burning questions. And I am back because I have been on a cruise. Yes, welcome back.

Thank you. Laura has been a pirate on the high seas for a couple of days. I have something to admit. So you guys recorded on Monday for Tuesday's episode. Correct. Which I tapped out because I was like, I don't know when the boat's getting in. So I don't know if I'll make it in time.

I would have made it in time. The boat got in at like 6am. But we knew that. I was home. We were docked. I was posting on social media. Where we drove to work. We knew.

Britt and I were in the car together and we went past Circular Cay. And I was like, that's a big boat. And I was like, that's Laura's boat. No, it wasn't even that. Laura, maybe you forgot, but you did tell us. You're like, the boat lands at 7am, but I probably won't make it. In my head, I was like, I think you would, but that's okay. You can have a cruisy morning.

I also couldn't have prepped. I wouldn't have been across monsters. Didn't I say that, Kish? I said she's back in time, but she won't prep, so it's fine. I thought it was just that, you know, I don't know how the packages work on cruises. I thought it was that maybe your cocktails were all inclusive and you were like, no, I'm just going to send it till the end. I have to.

I have to stay right until disembarking because there's at least three more pina coladas to drink. No, we didn't get the drinks package, but yeah, I couldn't have prepped, so I couldn't be here. But, and I have said this to anyone who will listen, I had the best fucking time. I had the holiday of my life. I'm now a cruiser, which apparently means you're a swinger. I found that out awkwardly when I announced it very loudly that I'm a cruiser.

And someone was like, you need to stop saying that. It means you will fuck other people. No, it doesn't mean swinger. So just let's give some context. Laura got back and she came in. There were a bunch of us and she announced to all of work, I am now a cruiser. I love to cruise. Cruisy, cruisy, cruise.

and we all started laughing because a cruiser means someone that will go cruising for sex at parks and toilets and like that's what they do so like I just googled it and it's slang for a prostitute who walks the street soliciting customers and I have been loudly calling myself a cruiser for the past five days it's gone more colloquial now it probably started as sex workers but it's not necessarily sex workers now it's people like I mean Mitch was saying in the gay community some people cruise there's hot spots for people that go and and hang around because they want to have sex that night it's almost like the real life grinder you don't have to go and grind it but there's spots that you just go on a pin on a pin oh so that's what laura is

all i think of when you say i'm a cruiser is when you were a teenager and you used to have those like supra calico bags and as you would be leaving to go to your friend's house for a sleepover there'd be the clinky clink of the glass cruisers in your bag the raspberry yeah they would definitely marketed to children someone should look into that lollipop flavor I do want to say this though I have said it multiple times before going away on this trip I said I would rather eat my own shit than go on a cruise and I only did it which is also a big call I know and there I was sitting on the cruise eating my shit having a great time no I only went on it because my mom who you guys know if you listen to the pod like she's had a truly horrible year she really wanted

to do it so I thought I would tolerate it but I actually had the best time but there was one thing that happened which it's funny but it's also so tragic and I hope my mom's okay with me telling this story because it involves her and she was very very very sad look I will be the judge you say it and if we need to cut it out we'll cut it okay so on the ship there is this stage show right it's called Blanc de Blanc Uncorked and it's kind of a little bit like puppetry of the penis like it's a real risque show and they do like different acrobats and stuff in it but they're mostly nude i've been to a spiegel tent show called blanc de blanc it's a performance it's really sexualized but it's a circus performance so impressive i've been to a puppetry of the penis so it's kind of

like a hybrid between like a circus de soleil type thing puppetry of the penis and also like a comedy show and this one was specifically like all french themed okay so it was a french three Are you French at your circus or your penis show? So my mum was so excited to go to this and we got front row seats. Like we were so close to everything. You could reach out and touch it. So you guys know and like kind of like at the same time, like how do I tell this story in a way that's kind to everyone?

You guys know that like this year my stepdad passed away and he was really big in the music scene in Wollongong. I thought you were going to say something else. He had a really big beard. I thought you were like, and he was really big, which is important to the story. Neil, rest in peace. And I tell this story because I know he would have been up there

looking down laughing at this situation. He would have been up. So he was a really big music guy, right? And at his funeral there was heaps of music that was played. The opening song of Blanc de Blanc was one of the songs that was played at his funeral. and it's Minnie and the Moochah. It's like, hi-dee, hi-dee, hi-dee, hi.

And then other people go, hi-dee, hi-dee, hi-dee, ho. So what's the chances that that gets played? Very particular. So my mum's already a little bit like, oh, wow, you know, like really sentimental. Like Neil's here. He would have enjoyed this show. We had a little moment.

We all held hands and it was really beautiful. So then there's this one part in the show and the guy who's French, he's very funny. He gets up, he takes all his clothes off and he's standing behind a little, like a music stand. It's covering his penis. and he goes, I have been training myself for 37 years to learn this new instrument.

And the instrument is a percussion instrument and the percussion instrument is him slapping his dick from side to side and hitting his own leg. Like a metronome. Isn't it percussion? Percussion? Percussion. Percussion.

Oh, whatever. I'm not the music person. Is it pre-cussion? It's percussion. Okay, well, percussion. You keep saying pre-cussion. What do you think of pre-cum? Pre-cum-tion.

Okay, continue. So he's slapping his dick side to side and he's showing everyone that he can do it in time with music. And then all of a sudden he's like, and now I have a performance for you. So imagine this. Very famous. On his leg. That's his penis slapping from side to side, which would have been really funny. Super funny.

if that wasn't the song that the curtains closed on Neil's coffin to at the funeral. Oh, my God. So my mum is sitting there bawling her eyes out in the front row. Of the penis show. And there's a man on stage slapping his penis around so, so confused. He was so confused as to why there was a woman crying in the front row. And then all night the performers kept on apologising to my mum

because they thought that she was offended. by what was happening on stage. Giant penis reminds me of my husband. And you guys just keep on playing music from the funeral. It was four separate songs, four of them. Four of the main songs were part of the show. And I was like, Neil. Maybe that was Neil.

You're having a great time. We're enjoying it. Just being like, I'm here, baby. I'm looking down on you. Maybe he was encouraging something. I'm just imagining what the guy on the stage was feeling and thinking. I mean, if he needed to be hard for that performance, he probably wouldn't have been.

I think you need to be flaccid to get a good like wind up for that slap. Can't be your mum in that situation. I just held her hand and then cried and then we had a bit of a laugh about it after the show, but it really wasn't funny and that's what I mean by like, look, it's funny, but it's also terribly tragic. No one knows what to do. None of us know what to say because I don't know how we can be

so sensitive but also like. I feel sorry for your mum 100%. That's horrible. But let's just have a moment's silence for this poor guy that's trying to do a dick performance. nothing makes you softer quicker than a woman crying two centimeters from your dick like that's how you build resilience on stage well you don't build hardness do you it also like when you're on stage you have no idea why people aren't enjoying themselves like

you don't have the context so there's just a woman crying and the only thing you can think is oh she's crying because of what i'm doing on stage like he would have felt like it was his fault the difference imagine if this was flipped and like you out there doing a sexy lingerie dance and there were just people in the front row crying. You'd be like, oh. But that's what it was. No, then afterwards. I'm killing it.

Guys, that's exactly what happened. Like afterwards there's like women dancing with like no clothes on and like doing like cheeky little dances. It was a lot. How many people were in the crowd? Oh, 100. A slot. And you guys got those VIP seats.

You got the front row. Very important, penis seats. Wow. I went to puppetry with penis years ago. I haven't thought about this. I went with a couple of friends. It's what people did, right? you got your girlfriends together it was funny if you've never been it's literally like they fly

kites with their penis foreskins and like it's a whole thing right like it's a whole show based around a dick and then this is when i was with my psycho ex that had the double life i got into so much trouble for going to that because he told shut up yeah because he told me it was like cheating on him and i was like it should have been the red flag right but it wasn't i was like i'm so sorry that i did the wrong thing by you i'll never go and look at another dick again like it was a fucking comedy show do you know what i want to see more there's nothing hot about a meter long foreskin sorry i want to see more of like puppetry of the labia that's what i want to see you could do that you'd be like a kite i want to see it the sugar glider yeah laura you could do that you

could be an innovator give you a one-woman show oh my god don't get it cut off make money the sugar i give away too much free content too much no you charge for it yeah i know but i'm giving away pictures of my feet on the internet now we're talking about my sugar glider like this needs to be a whole show i could be the comedy show i just imagined a man in the front row laura sugar glider labia i put it over him like a tent no you wipe away his tears it's like a cleaner it's tissues like guys we talk about my labia too much you're like people are sick of it i wrap him like a blanket like a little burrito for a hug both sides just a comforter we need to end this it's like a bat

Laura what's your vibe look my vibe this wow this is not a hot take and you guys are going to be like Laura it's not a real vibe it doesn't count but I'm leaning in hard to it okay I know I said that I thought at the family holiday was going to be something that I'd have to tolerate and I don't mean it as in like I didn't think it was going to be enjoyable but it just felt like it was going to be hard work like having 15 people and then six kids it's a lot it's a lot seven kids it's a lot of stuff and I was like wow it's not going to be a relaxing time away but what it made me realize and so my vibe is just book the weekend away if you've been talking with your family about doing a family get together a family catch up if you've been talking with your girlfriends about

going and doing a weekend away with the girls we can so often talk this shit into the ground and you never ever ever get it out of the group chat and you never get it into real life and it was so special this weekend together all of us like my brother came in from the states even that I was feeling like a bit apprehensive about that's a long way to come for a cruise I've not seen him in so long yeah it was a long way but it really kind of just gave me this moment where I was like time is moving so quickly everyone talks about making plans and then never actually does it and there was one thing that was really front of mind for us all our family tried to book a weekend away before Neil was really sick so we booked like a holiday down the coast which all

the family like his side with his kids and the cousins and everything was supposed to go together and then by the time that weekend away rolled around he was too sick to come and then he passed away shortly afterwards and we never got to do that family trip it never happened and so we still like have this credit for this family trip that we're supposed to go and do with that big extended side of the family and so this is my recommendation it's like you don't have as much time as you think you do and stop pushing those really special moments down the track and go and book the thing with the people that you love that you keep talking about just make it happen that's my recommendation we can't link that in the show notes but no but it doesn't matter where you go

or what you do it's not about a specific thing it's just like yeah make time for it because it's so important 100 we've been saying even for us we've been saying like let's do a work trip away all of a sudden the year's gone we've been saying let's do a dinner like it's all this shit that you talk about and then you just never make time for it so yeah just prioritize what's important yeah okay my vibe this week is a podcast that i listened to i was telling keisha about it through the week just because i loved it so much it's a one jury podcast it's called kill list back in 2020 in the middle of covid this is a uk journalist so in lockdown there wasn't a lot of work he started trying to find his own stories and with him and his little very small team two or

three people they stumbled across a murder for hire website like in the in the dark web actually it wasn't even on the dark web you just googled it and you found a page and it took you a bit deeper but it was like properly advertised uh when he did some digging there are people from all over the world that are on there paying who they think is a hitman to go and kill someone they're literally like all i know is her name is keisha she lives in bondi here's a picture of her she's 30. I want this done next week. Here's 20 grand. And there's people all over the world. So this journalist discovers this list and he's like, holy shit, this is real. I need to do something about it. So he tries to contact, these are people in Brazil, Switzerland, America, all over the

place. So he tries to start to contact the police and trying to explain to them, I'm this UK journalist. There's someone's life in danger. The police don't do anything. And of course, as a journalist he has been recording this the whole way everything he does is recorded i have a question for you yeah the listings of who the person wants killed public or is it a private message private so he got a hacker and they hacked into this part right so they found the murder for hire they're like let's have a look what this is and then they hacked in and so they were reading no one knew that they were reading it this was all very private kill lists and a lot of it was like ex-partners but not all of them and it was coming into fruition these people were actually

being murdered one was but then the police wouldn't help right and he's like I can't sit on this knowledge and not do anything I got goosebumps he starts cold calling these people and trying to say look this is going to sound crazy I think you're in danger and explaining it a lot of people were all the phone calls are recorded a lot of people were hanging up on him but he started to actually get through to some then they went and met them and spoke to them and they ended up saving people's lives. The police wouldn't do anything and this random journalist, Carl Miller from the UK, was literally saving people's lives.

Eventually he saved that many and he made the story big enough that the FBI came in and were like, we'll take it from here. And obviously that's what they do. You know, like you're the little dog that started it. We didn't care about you at the start. It is truly so fascinating and so wild that this exists. Like it is insane that this exists. How many episodes?

I think it's nine. Nine episodes. Yep, nine episodes. Yeah. I actually listened to a great Wanderer series recently on Marilyn Monroe as well. They did great podcasts. Yeah. Anyway, so that's it. So it's called Kill List if you're interested. Absolutely fascinating. I was hooked as soon as you told me about that. My vibe for this week actually comes off of the back of how many questions I got asked about the Acris night that we went to the other day. I mentioned in my stories that I do my own hair for kind of any

awards event. And my very first job when I was a teenager, I worked in a hair salon for four years. So I have like slightly more kind of skills in that area than I guess your average but not by much. It is my curling wand. So I got this wand about probably a year ago now. It's the Cloud 9 The Curling Wand and it is absolutely phenomenal. It is so easy to use. It's basically a cylinder so you can get curlers and I have had curlers that are like cone shapes or ovals. Personally, I prefer the circle like the big thick barrel. Yeah, you do girl. Too fast. Sorry. Yeah. So I seem to prefer the cylindrical ones. I really like old Hollywood-style curl waves and I find this really easy to use.

So you can get it from a bunch of different websites like HairHouse, Cloud9 itself. It is the Cloud9 The Curling Wand. I have the one in black. 25 millimetres. I'm looking at it right now. Looks like the guy puppetry on the penis guy. Links for all of our vibes, as always, other than Laura's this week, will be in our show notes and also on our website that you can find if you've forgotten it a couple of weeks later.

let's get into the questions. Perfect. Question number one. Actually, this is not so much a question. We're really mixing it up today because I know that we've talked about love is blind quite a bit recently, but something happened. Something happened, which raised a very interesting question that I think so many of us as women have experienced at some point in time, and we wanted to discuss it and unpack it. I was just going to say, we also, to be clear, have no personal ties to love is blind. I know it may appear that way, but it's just producing so much content yeah it's like maths and maths isn't on for another couple months so this is where a lot of relationship dynamic questions are coming up so this particular scene happened i think it was

in like maybe episode seven or eight sorry if you're not quite up to that yet but it was between ramses and marissa and it had to do with condoms and contraception is that the word i don't know condoms or something like i don't know but like i mean i think like that's what i want to go with i think do you enjoy condom sex yeah really some of my best sex has been on a condom oh okay i think we could definitely have condom sex and it'd be fine how do you feel about that hey this is bad like no but no it's the thing is like yeah i just it's not like i don't like i if i wear one it's it's just not we can raw dog it and like we either have condom sex or we don't have condom sex and we accept the consequences of not having condom sex which sounds insane

but it's the truth i'm okay if we got pregnant what no no i'm just i'm just thinking through it um yeah i definitely don't want to like put you in a position where like you're doing something that you don't want to do okay cool we can disagree to have condom sex from here on out it's just it's not really enjoyable baby sex is supposed to be like mutually enjoyable like it's not something that guys yeah ever have the pressure to having to think about yeah well here's the pressure i'm not gonna go on birth control okay sounds good we need to do what we need to do but uh i need the sex to be enjoyable what an absolute flog of human what a loser so the reason why we wanted to talk about this

is because this is a question that we have received before and it is something that i think can very much be unpacked as an ask uncut because i can imagine that there have been many of you who have experienced in your time men either guilting you around not wanting to wear a condom or badgering you into allowing them not to wear a condom because it quote unquote is not as enjoyable as not having condom sex this gives me the ick to the nth degree also how passive aggressive that conversation was like they were both trying to be happy and laughy but like okay totally but it's just like I need it to be enjoyable so like but the difference is here firstly let's just call a spade a spade condoms are so good now they are so thin you almost can't

feel them the pleasure is completely fine it's for me it's the same as I can't tell the difference I no, I'm not a man. I don't have a dick, but that's the whole point, right? They're made to be a second skin. It's interesting because like, I don't want to speak on the physiological side for someone else. Cause I've never experienced like what it is to have sex as a man and wear a condom. And universally, a lot of guys, I shouldn't say universally, a lot of guys talk about how it is less sensitive. Jono, you're the only man in the room. What's condom sex life? They're great. Jono said it's the same. Jono said it's great. There you go. You lost your virginity last week, right?

No, tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow. He only masturbates with one. But seriously, look, I think that there is this real perception that it is not as good for guys, but they have come such a long way. They are so thin now that maybe it's not exactly as good as what it might be for them if they weren't wearing a condom, but I think it's more of a mental barrier rather

than it actually being a physical barrier. Now, if you are in a situation where a guy guilts you, makes you feel as though like not only is it passive aggressive, but it's this real like guilt tripping into trying to get his way. Well, fine then, like it needs to be pleasurable for me. It's like he's trying to make her feel as though she's not doing the right thing in the relationship or she's not going to please him. And so by manipulating her in that way, he's hoping that she will cave.

If you find yourself in a relationship where someone manipulates you to have sex in the way that they want to have sex get the fuck out of there really quick smart it also just grinds my fears that these are the options right you wear a condom that you can barely feel or you pressure your partner to go on a hormone contraception that changes her entire life that changes her hormones that gives you skin conditions that can give you melasma that can give you acne you want your partner to take medication every single day that could be detrimental to her purely so you can feel a little bit better in the two minutes that you're going to have sex that is wild to me and the fact that that wasn't even a discussion it was and the option was well I'm not going to take

it we could get pregnant and he's like well I don't want that but also I want to feel good it's just disgusting yeah it really is I and I mean the only thing I can come back to is that if you find yourself in that situation don't have sex with men who manipulate you into not wearing a condom and never feel bad about standing your ground in that situation. And I know that when you're in that situation and like the desire is high and you want the person to like you and you don't want to feel rejected, it's maybe easy to bend and to make compromises. But I would really strongly advise you to assess what type of person would try and manipulate you in that way. Yeah. Also, I do like that Marissa stood her ground in that. She did. She didn't bend.

She was like, well, look, I'm not going to do it. So the alternative is we have a baby if it happens because, you know, she wants him to know, cool, just so you know, these are the repercussions. But it's also important that everybody knows stealthing, which is removing a condom or previously agreeing to wear one and then for whatever reason not doing it, as long as there's a previous agreement, that is called stealthing.

That is illegal now. There's a reason that is illegal. And I think it's really important people know that, that it's not just the removing of a condom during sex but it's also making sure you were if you had agreed to something previously it's so important to be having these conversations and absolutely never do you have to do something that you do not want to do yeah also even if like a condom breaks and they don't let you know like all of that comes into stealthing I think the thing about this that is like so alarming is having somebody try and guilt you and make you

feel bad that you're not going to be able to pleasure them because of the boundaries that you're putting in place in terms of how you want the sex to be like never allow someone to do that to you to manipulate you in that way and I know I've used that word a couple of times but it truly is what like he's trying to guilt trip her and saying this is not going to be an enjoyable experience for me and the thing is is we all want our partners to enjoy sex we all want our partners to think that the sex with us is really great and that we're doing a good job we're pleasuring them I'm like, of course, you want to be pleasing your partner, but never allow pleasing your partner to be more important than your own boundaries.

And he'll be just fine. He is fucked, but he'll be fucked with a condom on. Okay. All right. Question number two. I'm recently single and back on the market after nearly four years. I've come out of my past relationship with a lot of confidence and have been using the dating apps a bit and even got myself some friends with benefits.

We love that for you. I have found myself in a situation where I like two guys that I have met, but I've only been on three or so dates with each of them over a period of a month. So my question is this, how long and how many dates can you go on with people before you need to make a decision? And when do I need to stop my friends with benefits? I don't want to end up in a situation where they find out about each other and I end up with nothing. I don't know if I'm being selfish, giving player vibes. I just don't want to put all my eggs in the one basket like I did with my ex and end up in a relationship for 1.5 years longer than I should have.

Please help. Get it, girl. That's what I say. How long is a piece of string? There's no right or wrong answer here. It's down to what you feel comfortable with and also what the people you're seeing feel comfortable with. And I say that because to start with, do I think you need to say before you hook up with

someone, hey, just so you know, I sort of hook up with someone else as well. I don't think you need to do that. I think you can see as many people as you want simultaneously. if you wanted to go and see seven people seven nights of the week that's fine that would make for so many free dinners go for it imagine how much money you're gonna save you'll be a bit exhausted but you're like you'll save some money you can do whatever you want I think it only when you have to start having these like transparent conversations and really honest conversations is if one person asks you I think you need to tell them the truth if one person says

hey are you seeing anyone else I think it's really important to tell the truth for a multitude of reasons. But I think if you're going to end up being with one person, it's A, it's good to be honest. B, if somebody asks if you have other sexual partners for whatever reason, I think it's important to tell them. If one person does want to take it further and says that I only want to be with you if you're with me, that's a decision you need to make. But I think until it's brought up organically, I don't think you need to go and tell them because they're probably seeing the same amount of people. Here's my question though. Do you think it always has to be brought up? Because sometimes there is an implication, I guess, that we are exclusive and someone may be giving you

that implication that they're not seeing anyone else, that they've removed the dating apps, whatever that is, but they haven't verbally said it. And so like there can then be a gray area where it's like, well, you didn't ask. So I didn't tell you, I'm not lying. I just decided to like keep a little bit of the information from you. I mean, that's so tricky because that could look like a hundred different things someone saying well I've deleted the apps just just you like I mean like no you probably don't need to be like well I haven't but if someone asks you straight out I mean you've got to read the room if the conversation is happening and that's their way of bringing it up maybe they don't want to be so forthright by saying are you seeing someone else

maybe they're trying to start an organic conversation you've got to be emotionally connected enough to be able to read a room and decide for yourself when the time is right but I would be really disappointed and would be turned off a partner or a potential partner if I asked them if I said hey are you seeing anyone else and they said no then I found out they were I'd be like cool what are you lied to me that's not a way to start a relationship like I asked I would just not be into it but I would expect the truth if I ask somebody that it's tricky okay so I I agree with you I agree with you on the premise that I think you are right Brit but how would I feel so I go back to like when I was dating if I had matched with a guy on tinder

and we had been seeing each other for four weeks or so and it was like consistent like we were seeing each other and having sex and everything else but we hadn't had the conversation of like what is this are we exclusive or anything like that if the frequency was high enough we were speaking to each other often enough I think in my mind there would be a kind of a little bit of implied like no wrong wait not that I would expect for him to be not that I expect that he would be not be seeing anyone else right I don't expect it but if I found out that he was still like on Monday not having sex with me on Tuesday not having sex with someone else it would give me the ick of him even though I know he's totally entitled to if he then came to me and was like

hey I've just stopped seeing this person I'd be like ew like fucking why but that's why it's so important to ask the question if you're going to get the ick in that situation you cannot make an assumption that because someone is giving you four of their nights a week and they text you every day to check in and they give you a kiss goodnight in a text like night thought of you today probably thinking of Sarah and Sally as well like don't make an assumption is what I'm saying if you want to know ask the question also the copy and paste text like night it's Brittany but night Ben it's Liam I mean okay just going back to the question as it actually is you say you've only been on three or so dates with each of them over the period of a month. That is casual.

There is no intensity or frequency there. I think you just play on exactly as you are and you wait until one of them brings it up or maybe you're starting to develop feelings more for one than the other and then that way you can make a decision. Also, I know you've just come out of a long relationship and you haven't been in the game long, but three dates over a month, you are living your best life, but you are not giving player vibes. I know the question is you're scared of giving player vibes it's not it's play player vibes you've got a little way to go yet you're living your best life you've seen two people a couple of times over a month that's what dating is a hundred percent no one would think that you are being selfish in that capacity like

i think it would be crazy for you to get out of a relationship that long and just see one person like you definitely need to go taste the flavors of the sea ew what taste the flavors of the sea It just came to me. Well, I wasn't going to go that far. But yeah, you need to taste the flavors of the semen. Question number three, I guess. I'm getting married in three weeks. That is very soon.

My parents have been separated for nearly 25 years. And my dad has been in a relationship since they separated. But my mom has always stayed single. The problem is my dad's latest girlfriend. So when she says he's been in a relationship since they separated, he's been in multiple, not in one singular relationship. Okay. So my dad's latest girlfriend who he has been with for the last six years was one of my mom's old friends and someone who he cheated on my mom with when they were together. So bad,

bad juju happening here. Okay. My partner and I have now been engaged for nearly two years. And I told my mom when we got engaged that my dad's girlfriend would be coming to the wedding and getting an invite. I was hoping that with nearly two years notice, she would be able to come to terms with and somewhat be civil about it. But my mom has recently opened up to me and told me that she blames this woman for, in her words, ruining her life. I'm not close with my dad's family, so his girlfriend is going to be the only person that he really knows at the wedding. However, my mom has completely guilt tripped me and said that I should not be inviting her. She sees me inviting her as I have taken my dad's side in this and therefore abandoned her.

The situation is this. Do I A, uninvite her and risk my dad not coming to the wedding? B, say something to my dad and his girlfriend about my mum's feelings and ask them to keep their distance at the wedding, which would probably result in more drama. Or C, just try and stay out of it and cross my fingers that everyone just behaves. I feel sick about it all and it has taken over all of the joy leading up to my wedding. Can you really concisely summarise that? So basically, 25 years her parents have been separated. the dad cheated with her mom's friend right yeah and so then they went on the merry way after the

cheating everyone kind of had other relationships xyz but then the dad and the mom's old friend got together and they've been now together for six years so imagine for example let's put this into perspective brit you have sex with matt matt and i separate and in 20 years time you guys get together again and then you're together for six years and then you and i go to a wedding together Well, Marlee Mae's having a wedding. It's Marlee Mae's wedding. She can't ever get married. She's too young.

She's such a baby. And then she invites you, you whore, who ruined my life. Ha, ha, ha. Okay. Does that make sense? Who cares? Enough. I've got it.

Very tricky. I think me personally would not want this new wife, the homewrecker, if you will. It's not. She's not the homewrecker. He's the homewrecker. She equally is. She was the friend of. No.

no bullshit Laura it's two to ten go we can blame women as much as men they were friends and she had sex with her friend's husband which ended up splitting up the relationship if that is not a homewrecker I don't know what your definition is I wouldn't be inviting her but I would I would try to go to my dad first I wouldn't say she's not invited I would go to my dad and explain it and say look this is my day and I hope you can understand why this is really strange for me because at the end of the day, I don't want mom to feel really uncomfortable. You guys have split up, you know, because of her, I understand a lot of time's gone past, but I would, I would rather we just try and keep this as drama free as possible. Is there any chance you would happily

come on your own? I would try and have an adult conversation. There's a big chance he's going to say no. Yeah. But imagine this, this is only three weeks until the wedding. This girlfriend has been invited for two years and three weeks before the wedding, you want to turn around and say, hey i'm really sorry you can't come anymore this is crazy shit well it's crazy shit that she fucked her best friend's husband sorry like like it is what it is but also think okay back to your analogy laura am i coming to marley may's wedding after having sex with matt and splitting you guys up and now i'm with matt what i think in this situation no but with that would you let me come I wouldn't make it about me that's the problem and I know it's really really I don't want to

have a go at your mum because I can only imagine what she's been through was incredibly awful and hard and going to that wedding and the anxiety of seeing her ex-friend and your dad there must be truly truly horrible but it is not okay that your mum has made this about herself three weeks out from the wedding it really isn't and I know I'm not saying that I'm on the homewrecker side I'm not saying that I'm on your dad's side I don't think that this situation is good for anybody but I don't think the way that your mum has handled this is okay and I think there has to be a conversation around like mum I know that you're uncomfortable but you have had ample time to bring this up with me and now being three weeks from the wedding this is overshadowing

everything and I'm not able to resolve this problem for you now and I did this in a way that I thought would give you the most amount of time to get okay with the situation so I'm really really sorry, but this is how it is because I do not want to be at my wedding and not have my dad there. And I don't want to be at my wedding and not have you there either. But I really hope that you guys can just put aside the hurt that you all experienced and come together for me. And that's what I would do as a mom. If you had sex with Matt and Matt left me for you, Britt, and Marley May got married one day, I would go to her wedding and I would love my daughter and not make it about the hurt that I've experienced in my relationship. You know what the crazy thing is? I wouldn't go

to the wedding. I know you wouldn't. No, but that's the crazy thing in this situation. Imagine the girlfriend being like, yeah, I'll come. The girlfriend is the one that should have removed herself. I understand that she hasn't. Yeah. But it's so hard because, you know, people are full of ego. People are full of their own self-importance. She would see what's been so long now. We've been together for six years. She needs to get over it. Like I understand the attitudes that people have. I'm not saying I understand it as in like I'm giving a green passed to it but I know that those attitudes exist and broken complex families especially where cheating and affairs have happened there does come a point where people go you know what

you've got to get over it and unfortunately in this situation it has been so long it's been 25 years your mum has to get over it yeah but the mum still says in quote my in my mum's words she ruined my life that like that's pretty huge it is but that's manipulation that's the problem she's saying that to her daughter in a way to create guilt in a way to make the daughter feel as though she's done the wrong thing and that's why i think that this is really unfair and as parents we shouldn't be guilting our children to do the things that we want them to do or behave in the way that we expect them to behave i genuinely think your mom has gone about this the wrong way i agree and i i would not be uninviting anyone at this point in time i would

be sitting down with my mom and also sitting down with my dad and saying this is the situation I am not taking sides at all I love you both and I understand that this is something that is causing a lot of hurt but my expectation of you both is that you put it aside for my wedding because this is not about you guys and this entire thing has been about you for 25 years and on this day it's just not yeah the mum the mum's cooked for leaving her three weeks out yeah yeah like that's that's silly the fact she's brought it up obviously means it is a big deal for her it also depends how many people are going to the wedding is it a wedding of 20 people is it really small and it's like you're going to be in each other's face the whole time because chances are it's probably going to

end in drama is it a wedding with 150 people where they can 100% be sat on other sides of the room and avoid each other I would just do what Laura said I'd have a conversation with both of them and say dad is is there a chance that Sarah has to come to the wedding like does she have to because I don't want this to be a big thing on my day and if it is going to be a big thing then say well i'm begging both of you don't talk to each other put it aside pretend each pretend you don't know each other and just come and have a great wedding for me but it's i don't envy you like that's so tricky do you know what i'm so interested in i'm so interested in whether like who's walking you down the aisle like who is doing that right because is it your mom and your dad gonna walk

you down the mistress obviously i want to know is she gonna walk you down are you all doing it as a happy family like you said i do not envy this situation but i do think that it's really unfair of your parents to put guilt on you on something that isn't about them especially when And now it's all you think about and the anxiety for you is taken over. Like that's super unfair. Maybe just write them a letter. Tell them to get the fuck over it. It's been 25 years.

Go get some therapy and deal with your shit. I don't think that's the right answer. You think? All right. Okay, question number four. Question number four. My best friend's boyfriend is getting ready to propose in Paris. I wonder if they're going to do it to the Parisian song that I just played.

Let me know. They're going on a trip to Europe for her birthday. Now, I'm also going on this trip and he's just told me he wants to do it on the night of her actual birthday. I personally wouldn't want to be proposed to on my birthday. However, I don't know if she would love it or not. And I can't exactly ask her any questions without giving it away. What are your thoughts?

Oh, I think it's don't worry about it. Stay out of it. Just because you wouldn't like it doesn't mean she cares. If like me, she won't give a fuck what night it comes. She'll take it. Any day. no stay out of it she's not going to be at the end of the day if she loves him and they're getting married she's not going to be upset that it happened on her birthday like that it takes a

pretty particular person to be like well I wanted two separate celebrations like when the love of your life is just asked for your hand in marriage I think if anything it'll just make her birthday the most memorable and exciting and spectacular moment I don't think that getting proposed to on a birthday takes anything away from it I it does a little bit for sure yeah but it's like I mean she's not gonna care does it though because the celebration's already about you it still continues to be about you yeah but it's like people that are born on Christmas day it's like you know when you're like you're like well I wanted a birthday and Christmas I feel like it's it has a little sprinkle of those kind of vibes but at the end of the day you're in love

if you're at the point where you're proposing it's not going to be enough of an issue for her to be like, no, do it tomorrow. Ask me again tomorrow so we can have two days of celebration. Yeah. I don't think this is a big deal. I certainly wouldn't be trying to play the vigilante in this situation, figuring out whether your friend will or won't like it. Stay out of it and just like let it run its course because he obviously also knows your friend really well. I mean, they're in a relationship together. He's going to propose. So I would have a sneaking suspicion that like he's pretty well across what she would or wouldn't like. The partner has come to you and told you it's happening so you obviously have that kind of relationship where he wants you to be

involved or to know the only other thing i could you could do if you absolutely wanted to and you felt like if the conversation comes up again and he brings it up the only thing you could do is like hey let's run through some options for what could work like are there other things you've been thinking or days and like let's see what fits best but you can't tell him not to do it on a birthday because he might say well well there's paris on a birthday or there's a week later in the amalfi which, you know, she loves that, whatever. He might, he might put a few options to you and you could sway the vote, but at the end of the day, just be there and support the couple and support him and say, is there anything you want me to do to help the situation? But if it comes up again,

yeah, throw in some options. Laura's bought. She's, I have another question though. What do you think about this trend? And there's been a few discussions of it online where men will propose to female athletes normally when they've just finished something really exceptional like I'm talking like a woman who's just finished like an incredible marathon run and then the guys at the finish line and she's like get the fuck up I'm trying to get her the finish line or like have you seen those moments where it kind of goes from being about the sporting event to being about a proposal I don't think that's similar in any capacity but I'm here for it let's go there I don't like that I think you take I think like that's their moment yeah they've trained for

however long or whatever it is, is their moment. Although I always thought like when I was imagining my proposal, I was like, oh, my God, imagine if Ben did it like at a sporting event after he won a match. But that's different because that's his match and then he's made it about the two of you rather than it being. And he was also like, I'll never do that. He's like never in a fucking million years.

But you're like, please, you're like, I want you to do that. No, I was like, totally agree. That would be terrible. I would hate that. No, that's shitty. I don't like the taking someone's moment away and making it yours. One of the Chinese athletes at the Olympics, their partner did it. A few did it.

Yeah, which we all, five people did it. There you go, Keisha, on the stats. There was five different athletes who got proposed to at the Olympics just after their awards. My thing is, is I think our outward perception on it is that we wouldn't like it and we think that it's like their time to shine. But I do think that overarchingly, the athletes who got proposed to weren't mad about it. They all said yes.

Have you seen, and I'm going to make, if you haven't seen it, I'm going to get Patricia Keisha to find it and we'll put it up in the YouTube. John, I insert this into the YouTube. Have you seen the really funny video of the guy that's just like run a marathon? So he's run it and he wants to propose at the finish line and he gets to the finish line and he goes to pull out the ring and his whole body goes into full body cramps and he goes to drop to his knee, but he drops to the ground and he's like convulsing in full body cramps and he can't stand up.

It's the funniest, unfunny video for a proposal. That's terrible. You have to say it. Anyway. All right. Well, that's it from us today, guys. We hope you enjoyed the episode. If you enjoyed the episode, leave a review.

Also, subscribe on the little podcasty plus thing. It just means that the episodes drop into your podcast feed the moment that we drop one. You don't have to pay for it. It's not like a subscribe, subscribe. We have an incredible YouTube where all the videos go up and all the little extra tidbits. And also, if you want to see the videos like the one I just spoke about, that's where they are. The links for everything is in the show notes. There's also the Facebook community, Life Uncut Discussion Group,

and that's it from us, guys. You know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love!