Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - A Real Life Love Actually

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Hey Lifers, Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer all of your deep and dark dilemmas!  Britt has some really exciting personal news about her sister Sheri and her husband Jay.Vibes for this week:Britt - Bodyparts on Nine Now Keeshia - Three Identical Strangers on NetflixLaura - No Filter Patrick Gagne is a sociopathThen we jump into your questions! SHOULD I ATTEND THE FUNERAL?I was with my ex for 12 years. During the last 3 of those years my ex-Mother in Law (MIL) lived with us; I knew her very well. I'm now happily remarried with two kids and haven't spoken to anyone from my ex's family for around 6 years. Recently, I found out my ex-MIL has gotten very sick and it got me thinking about when she passes away. I would want to pay my respects to her given she was a huge part of my past life, but I don't know if attending her funeral and seeing my ex and his family for the first time since leaving him would only add to their pain. My question is: who do you attend a funeral for? Is it for the person who has passed away? Or their loved ones left behind? I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH MY COWORKER How do I let a work colleague know that I have no interest in being friends with them outside of work (or even at work TBH)? I really struggle working with this particular person, but that's clearly unbeknownst to her as she continually asks me to do things outside of work! I always come up with excuses not to go, but it's getting harder and harder. Also these are not big group things where everyone is invited, it's literally just the two of us and maybe one or 2 other people. Do I need to be more direct? Or just say yes and make it a really bad time so she doesn't want to hang out anymore? Or just keep putting up with it and coming up with excuses? SHOWER ETIQUETTE What is the etiquette when using someone else’s shower while staying with them? Do you bring your own shampoo/conditioner/body wash etc? Or is it acceptable to use theirs? DO I CONFRONT/ASK HIM OR PLAY IT OUT Last week my husband asked me to pick up a parcel for him from the post office and said it was a tool for work. When I picked up the parcel, I noticed it was from a silversmith so I googled them. I didn’t look any further as Mother’s Day was approaching and didn’t want to ruin my surprise. I didn’t get jewellery for Mothers Day. I looked on the website and it could be fingerprint jewellery but it’s way out of our budget. I mentioned it to my best friend to see what to do. After naming the jeweller, she said our mutual friend is mates with the jeweller, maybe our friend is going to propose and use my husband and our address for secret delivery. The 3 possible situations are: My husband bought someone else jewellery Fingerprint jewellery that will be back in a few weeks My husband is in on our friend's proposal and is keeping it secret (fair enough). My question is, do I ask my husband about the parcel or do I wait and see if something happens in the coming months? Clearly it’s bothering me haha. You can watch us on Youtube If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Laura, and someone in this room is going to be an auntie again. Yeah, Laura, okay, me, surprise, it's me, Brittany. My sister Sherry, who most of you know, she's my best friend. We've spent like literally our whole lives living in the same bedroom.

We share the same bedroom. We traveled the world together. We've been to 60 countries together. We worked together in a hospital. Like we are the same human. We've been attached at the hip our entire life. Also, Sherry has been part of the OG lifer team in our Facebook group. She's never got paid for it.

I think we paid her for a bit, didn't we? No, we never gave it to her. Oh, my God, Sherry, I'm so sorry. Because remember, we didn't earn anything for like a very long time. So she just used to help. She's like, I'll do some admin because she loved it. I always thought that we paid her. No, we didn't.

That's terrible. It's really bad. Sorry, Sherry. Anyway, she really needs that money now. She's having a baby. Yeah. So my sister Sherry is having a baby, which is really exciting. So she is already over halfway. So she just didn't, for whatever reason, she didn't want to jump on and announce it straight away. She just wanted to sit in it for a little while. I don't know her reason for that,

but she's over halfway. She's due at the end of September. And you might remember only a week or two ago, my suck was that my sister's not coming home anymore. And I got a lot of messages yesterday because I put Sherry's pregnancy announcement on my Instagram. And a lot of people wrote to me saying oh i get why you were so upset that your sister's not coming back now so sherry's made the decision that she's gonna have the baby over in scotland and stay there yeah sherry's having the baby in scotland so it's gonna have a scottish passport straight away great that's really tactical i love that yeah and i guess the reason is so sherry and jay so jay's scottish they've been living in australia for six years their whole relationship so they recently went back

to scotland just for a year or two so that he could spend some time with his family before they spend the rest of their life in Australia because it's a really like and this is something that I'm going to have to face too when you're in a relationship with someone foreign one of you has to make a huge sacrifice one of you is going to be away from your family and your friends potentially for the rest of their life and that was always going to be Jay in that situation so they've decided to just spend a little bit more time when they have the baby with his family and his friends and maybe when it's like a year come back so I just and I was I was actually crying because I was supposed to be there for the birth.

Like she wants me to be in the room so I was going to be in the Gold Coast here when she had the baby and now, yeah, we both had a cry on the phone the other day because she's like, oh, now I'm going to cry. She's like, I just wanted you to be in the room with me. Yeah. Can't you go over and do it? Well, I have to ask radio.

Fuck off. Fuck off work. Some things are more important. Well, that's what I thought. I was like surely like, you know. Just fly over. Because she doesn't have any family or friends over there. So I was like surely I can go over for a week and just help her.

you know that first week just tell everyone you have COVID and you have to go and I won't I won't tell the truth just get on a plane and go and I'll be like yeah Brittany's so sick I saw her she's got COVID oh yeah but it's gotta really isolate well here's the crazy thing again Ben my Ben is gonna see it be with it he'll probably be in there watching it slide out the vag or is that too much it's more do you know is it too much I think I think it's fine I feel differently about birth to the way I think a lot of people do I think a lot of people and this is not I don't to say this as a criticism like I just think I don't know why but I felt very differently about it a lot of people have a really clear idea of how they want their birth to be like the people

that they want in the room like the setting of it the ambience the sounds the smells like people really plan out that birth experience and like get it out of me honestly when I gave birth to Marley Matt's mum was in the room Matt was in the room eating a chicken sandwich and I reckon there was about 20 doctors one doctor came in he goes oh do you mind if a few students come in they're doing some training and all of a sudden I looked up and there were 20 students just standing in the room and I had this moment where I was like oh my god I wonder if any of these people have clocked it that they're standing here watching like one of the people from the bachelor having a baby I was like this is way more confronting than I ever expected it to be I 25 people in

that room yeah that's fine to me there's a football team in my room the thing that bothers me the most in that situation is the chicken sandwich i was like that didn't need to be in the room 20 people they're allowed they're training there's only one way for them to learn and that is to watch so i'm okay with that but there's something different about like your sister's husband being in there like i don't know if i would want jay down there when my baby's coming out so i don't know if ben should be in there i like that you just described ben as your husband but yeah yeah dream big everyone i hate the word yeah i can fucking dream don't squish my dream I'm trying to manifest all right look it up manifestation to be fair Matt almost missed

the birth of Marley I was 10 centimeters dilated and he went out for a fucking chicken sandwich and the cafe was running really slow and they they literally were talking about me needing to start pushing and Matt's mum then ran out of the room to go and find him at the cafe and they no one's here I was like just this just this football team just these 20 strangers um but honestly I know sherry listens and sherry we're so so excited for you it's the best thing ever come back to australia so that we can have more babies here why are you in scotland it's cold terrible place to be when you just want to be so cute and i do also want to say that i do have like six other nieces and nephews so it's not the first one and i love them all but sherry and i i guess we're

different because we're like absolute besties it does make me think though and i know it's not the reason to think you want a baby but sherry and i always grew up thinking that we would have kids at the same time. And I'm three years older than her, but I still knew that she would probably have a child before me because we all know I've been on the fence and not known what weighs up. Well, I mean, Sherry's had her shit together

for a bit longer than you, Greg. Well, I mean, she's got a husband, a real one. Not one that she just says. She manifested that years ago. Not one that she, oh, that's the other thing. You OGs will know this. You OGs will know, but some new people might not. But Sherry and I are so close.

And don't take this the wrong way. I picked Jay for Sherry. I picked her husband in a not a creepy way. Like I found him for her and said, wow, I have a feeling this guy and you or something's there. She didn't even see his picture. This is like on Tinder back in the day. Can you tell, for anyone who doesn't know this story.

Should I tell it? Yes, of course. I like that you're just alluding to a story that 90% of people don't know. I thought 90% of people knew, but I guess it was probably five years ago we told this story. All right, strap in. So Sherry and I were on this huge three-year trip that we'd said we were both single at the same time. We both hated our jobs at the time in a hospital. So we

quit one day and we were like, let's go travel the world with no plans because we'd saved up so much money to travel. And we knew we'd work overseas as well. So off we went and we're in South America. We'd been in South America for probably six or seven months. And we knew that the next stop was going to be Scotland. We knew we were going to the UK. So one day after hiking Machu Picchu, so we hiked for four days, we're exhausted. We were like, we just want to lay in bed for 24 hours straight so we're in a shared bed and what do you do when you're just laying in bed on your phone and you're single in the same bed mind you we're like right next to each other so no we didn't masturbate laura get your head out of the gutter get tinder up you idiot i know

i was joking who's masturbating with their sister in the same bed it's illegal is it not if it's your step but she's my real one so anyway sidetrack so we're both we were like hey this is when tinder brought the geo swiping like geolocation which meant you could set your location to any country and would show you those people so we set it to scotland we were like hey we'll be in scotland in a month or two let's see what the men are like because we had these ideas of what the men were like which was jamie from outlander like sam hewan so we just thought everyone was going to be like these big scottish hunks yeah they're not literally highlanders high yes so we swiped in and we're both in bed next to each other on our respective tinders now

I am older than Sherry, so I had a larger bracket. No, you're like, I am older than Sherry, so obviously my bracket was much younger than hers and also much older than hers. I had a 20-year bracket and she had a five-year bracket. My bracket was, yeah, I cast my net wide, Laura. I know you do. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

So I was swiping along. Now, this only happened one time, the whole time, and I'm talking hundreds of swipes. I came across this photo of somebody that must have just snuck into my age bracket because I think at the time he was 25, 24. He was really cute. His profile was very funny, very satirical, very take the piss. And you know how you can link your Instagram. So he had his Instagram linked. I went to that. He was way too young for me, believe it or not. I didn't think I'd say those words. He was too young for me. And I said to Sherry, have you seen this

guy yet? And I showed her my Tinder and she was like, Jay Preet. No. She's like, I haven't come across him why and I said I don't know why I was like but you need to find him and swipe yes and she's like why and I said I don't know I was like something about this profile I just think you need to match him so hours later she turns around and she's like oh is this him he was on her phone and I said yes that's the guy I was like swipe right she was like random okay I don't think she was that impressed with the profile so she's wiped right they matched and from that day I lost Sherry like I am talking like RIP you know when you just meet someone and you're infatuated and because he worked from home and she wasn't working she was traveling I reckon 100 plus

messages a day like you know when you just can't stop talking back and forth some people might call that love bombing but in this instance it really worked out for them it wasn't they just hit it off and when I say that many messages they were talking in like real-time conversation so you know just one line at a time they just fell in love they didn't meet for six seven weeks they just talked nonstop then they met and from that day forth they've been together the thing I like the most and you've missed out this part of the story well it's just they went on their first date and it kind of was a bit shit and Sherry was like oh my god I've just spent all this time talking to this guy it's probably shit because I went on it with them and then in real life he

didn't really have much to say and then gave it another chance and then it just you know he was nervous so I went on their first date we love Jay yeah I went on the first date and so weird it was well because at the end of the day we didn't know him right like and her and I had just gotten to a foreign country I wasn't going to let her go to some random online in a foreign country alone we didn't know anyone I don't think we even had phones that worked there at the time to be fair it's only fair you've been there since the start you should be looking down the canal of her vagina yeah when that baby comes into the world you created that baby as well yeah so that's what I got sidetracked I just told you my sister's love story but it's it's an amazing story yeah

well we love Jay and Sherry we love you and also thank you so much for working for us for free for so long. I think she's still done stuff. This is not okay. This is no longer okay. So please don't take us to HR. We don't have one. We are HR. So we said it's fine. No, we will slip or something. All right. Well, anyway, guys, we do say that we're going to keep the intros to Ask Uncut short. We've been saying this for, well, the better half of this year. And unfortunately, sometimes the intros really blow out. But today's one was an important one. Yeah. And we are going to, moving forward, just be doing Ask Uncut, like a little high catch, Just a little one.

Let's not promise things that we don't plan on going through with. I do want to say one thing before we get into our vibes and unsubscribes. Don't say you're having a baby. No. I'd watch that come out. Do you want to be there for the next one? If I have a third. Whoa.

If I have a third. No. Well, Matt says no, but like, you know, and he also says I always get my way. If I do get my way, do you want to be in the room? I mean, we could podcast live. From birth. Yeah. Want to do it?

It's the third one. I don't care. The first and the second one I probably wouldn't have. But like third, like all bets are off. I'll do anything. I am going to say yes. Yeah. But I think it's something you run past, Matt.

Will you be at the business end or the top end? Business. Okay. I could do the labiectomy at the same time. Give a little snip-snip while I'm down there. It'll lead it after the third one. No, what I wanted to say is, before we get into vibes and unsubscribes, is I wanted to say a very big thank you to so many of you reached out to me after Tuesday's episode.

I can't tell you how many private messages I received. I haven't written back to everyone yet because there was just so many of you who wrote such kind messages and also to those of you who wrote in and if you didn't listen to Tuesday's episode I was speaking about my stepdad who is going through palliative care at the moment with his prostate cancer diagnosis and it was just your messages were so heartfelt I appreciated them so much and if I don't get the chance to get back to all of you just know that I've read them and also like how much I appreciate you guys and I hope that you did take on that message and I would love to know if you did go home and have a conversation with your dad around getting his

prostate checked like please send us those messages because I think that that for me was the most important thing to get across in that episode and so I hope that it really did spark some conversations in your households with your parents and with the men in your life who you love yeah you guys are literally the best and Laura you also had we also had like an anonymous card turn up to Tony May I know. And then we had a card at my office. One of my staff who I do pay brought me an envelope and JPC, you are one of our listeners and you wrote the most incredible card and you didn't leave a return address because you're very naughty, but just talked about the things that you've been going through and how much these conversations and the pod have brought you

comfort in what's been a really incredibly challenging time for you. And we got to experienced this when we did the live shows last year. So many of you guys gave us cards or letters or we got to speak to you. Well, we got to speak to you about your stories and the reasons why you've connected with the conversations that we've had here. And it means so much to Britain Eye because, you know, when we started this, it was pre-COVID. We were just two friends in a bedroom having a conversation around the things that were important to us. And the fact is that so many of you have resonated with those conversations over the years. And that in itself is just such a privilege, but JPC, we adore you. We're so sorry for all of the challenging things that you've been

going through, but we're so, so grateful to hear that you're on the other side of it and that the podcast played even just the smallest part in bringing some happiness to your day. Well, let's get into vibes and unsubscribes. I have a vibe and an unsubscribe. I'm going to start with my vibe. We never have unsubscribes. And I think the reason for that is, is because we don't want to appear as though we're complaining. But I have a lot of things that I hate in life. I can get on board with this. Yeah, but this one, and you'll hear in a minute, but this one isn't complainy complainy and the unsubscribe is also a default vibe. Okay. I'm going to start with my vibe. My vibe this week is something that I came across accidentally on the

news, like a news article. And I clicked on the links and I watched the videos and then I saw that it was a whole TV show. It's a TV series and it's called Body Parts. You can watch it on Nine Now. So I got the app. It's an anaplastologist. Do you know what that is? No. Okay. This is someone who reconstructs body parts oh yeah okay wait wait it's like playing charades it's someone who makes prosthetics yes so she's an American woman her job is exactly that her job is to recreate prosthetics but not a prosthetic like we saw for Ellie Cole you know it's not a leg prosthetic but their life like it genuinely look like a body part it is an art form I have never seen anything like it and each episode I'm going to recommend one particular episode but each

episode is a few different people with different you know someone's had cancer and they've had mastectomies and wants new nipples some people have lost ears some one man's lost his nose to cancer like his entire nose is gone and it talks about their story what happened to them how they feel and how they've lived their life and then she recreates the most lifelike one woman got two new arms entire arms because she had no arms at the elbows and the arms like it is matched to a t to the person measured to the person so it looks the same length how it would look the coloring and it just changes their life and I want an episode so it's called body parts I watched it online now it's a free app episode three if you just want to pick one it's about centers around

this little boy who lost both of his ears and a bit of his face in a dog attack when he was really young baby yeah and it is like strapping for some emotions but he's the most beautiful little boy and just watching when they get the new prosthesis and it changes their life, especially for kids. Kids are so unassuming. This reminds me of, I don't know if anyone's ever done it, I went down a rabbit hole a really long time ago on Instagram just watching kids have their cochlear implants turned on

the very first time that they heard it. It's the same feeling. Oh, my God. Sometimes it's good to have a cry. Like, you know, why do you – because, you know, when you talk about to the man, the grown man in his 60s and wants a new nose even that's emotional because they're like why do you what how is this going to change your life and he's like I don't want my grandkid to look at me and think I'm scary and

you know I want to not wear glasses and feel comfortable just the little things but the little boy he was just like I hear people talking I hear my friends talk about me it's hard to find for like it's hard to have friends he's like seven years old and I'm like oh baby so it's it's just Laura you will love it you guys will cry but you'll cry beautiful tears so that is my beautifully wholesome vibe this week. Well, you could have just left it at a really nice vibe, but now you're unsubscribing from stuff. Well, I was just going to unsubscribe from series

dropping only four episodes, and then you have to wait two months for the next four. Is it Netflix? It's Bridgerton, because I love Bridgerton. Bridgerton's amazing. I watched it in one night, and I didn't know they only dropped four. And then I got to the end, and I was like, where's the rest of the series? They were like, coming in

28 years. It's like coming in a month's time. Yeah. Yeah. Look, who has time to watch a full series anyway? Maybe it's good. It means that you can get some other productive things in the middle done. I just don't think it's fair to end it on a cliffhanger and expect people to wait for a month. It's like you do that at the end of a series.

Don't do that mid-series. It was a really crucial moment. It's like a sexy moment. And I don't want to spoil it for people that haven't seen it. You're going to be horny for a month now. I am. I'm locked into the horndog. If I have the self-control and I know, because I knew that this was going to happen, so I

didn't feel as annoyed. Like I knew going in that it was only four episodes. But if I have the self-control and I know this, I actually wait until the week that the second lot is going to be released so that I can watch it kind of as one. It's tactical. But I didn't have the self-control. I would have done that. I would have done that.

I have great regret. Produce Keisha, what is your vibe for the week? Mine is also on Netflix. It's actually something that came out in 2018, but I kind of missed it at the time. It's called Three Identical Strangers. It is about three identical triplets that were all adopted by separate families. they didn't know that each other existed until two of them ended up going to the same college and friends were like calling him the name of the other person as it turns out that story went quite

viral and viral in the old school way because this was like you know they were in the 80s it was like in the papers and stuff yeah and then it turns out that there was a third one and so they all became friends because they had this biological connection as brothers and the start of it was this real global sensation and then later in the documentary and kind of the story that ended up playing out in their life took this extremely dark turn and they found out that they had actually been unknowing participants in a research study that was being conducted at the time this to me just seems like horrific I understand see I don't feel as though it's horrific even though on the surface it seems it because it's this whole debate around nature versus nurture and in any type of genetic

study basically the only information that we're able to deduce about nurture versus nature comes from twin studies that have been separated because they've grown up in different environments yeah but don't you think that's horrific that they chose to rip them apart as children just to study them absolutely absolutely I just think that like what we've gained from it is potentially a lot even though it's incredibly unethical to do that and also to have them be participants in a study when they didn't know the parents they had no idea as well it was utterly fascinating and it really took this turn and it turns out that there were more twins that were separated through adoption as well the one part about the story and I kind of want to preface this just in case you're

going to watch it there is a really really dark conversation that comes out about mental health and whether that is a heritable condition or not I just found this documentary so layered and yeah of beyond fascinating that's like the main word that I have for it I can back that up it's really really good but I think it really makes you question the ethics behind how you can conduct experiments like that on children who are non-consenting yeah and denying them the right to know about their biological heritage and to know about like where they've come from the thing for me is is and what I thought was so fascinating is like how can you be sure that that doesn't then contribute to the mental health how can you be sure that the experiment in itself not having

those strong ties to knowing who you are and where you've come from as a person didn't actually cause the root of those mental health concerns i think is a big question mark yeah so it examines a whole lot of different things and also importantly these were psychological studies from the 50s and the 60s so very very different lens to what we now have in terms of ethics it's available on netflix it is called three identical strangers man i'd be pissed if i was a triplet and then i found out as an adult that I've been taken from my family. You're like, can I sue people for this? Honey, I reckon.

All right. My recommendation is a no filter episode. No filter with Mia Friedman. And this podcast episode is interviewing a woman named Patrick Gagney, which stands for Patricia Gagney. Now it is called Patricia Gagney is a sociopath. We speak about sociopaths a lot. We usually think of them as murderers or as criminals or as, you know,

people who live very dark and unempathetic lives. and I think the reason why this is so fascinating is because Patrick is a diagnosed sociopath but she's someone who has the cognitive awareness to be able to know that that's what she is and she is actively working on not being that in the ways that she can so she's married she has children and probably doesn't present in any of the ways that we have been conditioned to think that a sociopath would or should behave but I also think the other thing that's really interesting about this is like what it's like being a child to a sociopath what it's like having friends when you're a sociopath what it's like navigating romantic relationships when you're a sociopath

and also because like so much of the recommendations when you have someone who is on their NPD narcissistic personality disorder spectrum or even somebody who is the very far end of that and as a sociopath we always recommend just getting as far fucking away from them as possible like get away from them don't have them in your life they're incapable of having normal human interactions. And so Patrick kind of goes through and describes what that is like from her side. But also the other part of this is like how she discovered that she was so different in how she felt empathy to those around her as well. Fascinating. Yeah. She's also written a book called Sociopath. And I think the point is, Laura, when you said usually hear the word

sociopath and we're like, run. But that's because most sociopaths don't know they're a sociopath or won't admit they're a sociopath. And this is the difference with her. She owns it. She knows that she is and she's working actively every day but she still talks about all the feelings that she knows she doesn't feel yeah I was about to say like it would be so interesting to talk to someone like that because I want to unpack how they feel shame they don't that like that's so interesting but also they're married imagine being married to that and having a wife having a wife who's like I know I don't feel the things you feel but still being so in love with them like she's got friends she lives a normal functioning life like it is such a unique look at someone who

sits within that spectrum it's so like the reason I mean the shame thing is because we want to have empathy for that because we're like oh it's not your fault that you can't process emotions in the same way that we can but if they don't feel shame about it then it's kind of like well why do we feel empathy you're right totally all right well let's get into the questions yeah question number one should I attend the funeral I was with my ex for 12 years during the last three of those years my ex-mother-in-law lived with us. I knew her very well. I'm now happily married with two kids and I haven't spoken to anyone from that family for six years. Recently, I found out my ex-mother-in-law had gotten very sick and it got me thinking about when she passes away. I would want to pay my

respects to her given she was a huge part of my past life, but I don't know if attending her funeral and seeing my ex and his family for the first time since leaving him would only add to their pain my question is who do you attend a funeral for is it the person who has passed away or their loved ones left behind or are you going for you far the woman's not even dead yet she's still alive but she's clearly dying i mean she got sick she's probably got the flu let's wait till she dies no okay let's take it seriously i am i do have opinions okay i have opinions one because I've been in this exact situation but more as an observer and I'll explain that so my ex-boyfriend his father passed away it was horrifically sad I was his girlfriend very

new girlfriend at the time mind you like we'd only been dating for a few weeks when his dad passed when his dad passed away well it's hard his ex-wife who he had been with for I mean they met in uni they'd been with for like over a decade was very very close to his dad so the funeral came and his ex-wife came to the funeral now from his perspective I think it was incredibly hard because the funeral turned into not it just being a time for him to be able to mourn his dad but it turned into like I mean like you know when your ex is in a room and then you feel that feeling of like oh fuck they're here do I talk to them do I not talk to them like how long had they been split up for years they'd been separated for years and they weren't speak they weren't on

terms. They weren't speaking. It ended very badly. So it was a really highly anxious time for him during a time when I think he should have just been out of focus on grieving, but he was very focused on this whole drama of his ex-wife being there. And also on the day of the funeral, it was even more exacerbated by the fact that as we were entering the funeral, he went to give her a hug and she was like, don't touch me. I'm not here for you. So it was very, it was, that's to me, that's selfish. He treated her very bad in their relationship, mind you. So like it ended because of his behavior. So I understand why she has animosity and I understand why she would feel I'm here for my relationship with your father and I don't really care about you right now.

And they were really close. So on one hand, I absolutely respect her decision to want to go to the funeral because she had a relationship with the person who passed away. But at the same time, I think it caused more unnecessary hurt to someone who is already grieving even if they were the person who was in the wrong in the relationship. So I guess my big question to you is you haven't had contact with them now for six years. You haven't had any contact with her for six years. You have lost that connection. I think if anything you should reach out now and say I've heard that your mum's really unwell. I hope you are okay. I hope your mum is okay and you see how that's received rather than just rocking up at a funeral. Because I think that then that funeral

becomes about you in some ways, not about the person who's grieving and not about the person who passed away. I don't know. I just feel like it can create a lot of drama for people who are already really, really, really hurting. And I don't know if people will agree with that, but it's a tricky, tricky thing to navigate. I don't think there's any black and white answer here. This is so dependent on each situation. How long were you together? What was your situation? How close were you? Did you live together? Why did you end? How long ago did to end what's their situation ship like now there are so many factors of this there's no like yes you can go to an ex's funeral no you can't because you don't know what happened in this specific

situation I feel like saying don't go and you're asking the question like who are you going for she's passed away at this point and you haven't spoken to her for six years and you didn't reach out when she was sick yeah so what I'm thinking here is it is only probably going to like you said yourself and you probably know deep down it's probably only going to add to the pain of him he's dealing with enough there at that time he's just lost his mum I don't think he needs to see someone from the past from that long ago that doesn't mean you can't pay your respects to her like you don't have to physically go and stand in a crowd with everybody else to mourn someone and think about someone and grieve someone but I think if you're at the point now where you're like I

would want to pay my respects then why don't you want to speak to her now when she's still alive yeah so this is what i think can you call her and say i've heard you're unwell i wanted to check in and see and see how you are is there anything i can do for you like if you haven't spoken to her now and you can't or don't want to reach out when she's unwell then i don't think you should be putting everyone else in the position at the funeral also i think thinkers sometimes put yourself in the position like flip it reverse it that was a song i would yes do that flip it and reverse it if this was your mom or your dad and you hadn't spoken to your ex in six years they hadn't spoken to your mom or dad in six years and they came to the funeral unannounced you didn't

know they were going to be there would it take something away from the funeral from your ability to grieve would it make it a bit awkward for you would you be thinking oh my god fuck my ex is in the room oh just don't really have the capacity to talk to him right now like how would you feel and I think if your response to that is that there's any reservations or it would really impact your ability to grieve like I would say had the same respect for him but I totally agree with you Brit I think that there's no point showing your respects after someone's passed away when you could literally call them when they're alive and be here yeah my ex like my I always say my main ex because I always in my head I feel like I had this you know I was with him for eight years

so a huge time of our life and we lived with his dad for a while like such an integral part of each other's life and from like you know from 16 to 24 so that huge part where you're coming of age we ended on really amicable terms just because we were going different directions and his dad passed away after a few years like a few years later and I did not go to the funeral but I could have because he was a huge part of my life but I didn't speak to my ex anymore but I did message him i reached out and i just said i'm so sorry i get emotional thinking about it i'm like i'm i heard and i'm and i'm really sorry and i'm just wanting you know i'm thinking about you and i hope you get through this okay and and that's it because i imagine the last thing he would have

wanted was for me to turn up like absolutely and similarly was the situation with my grandfather so my papa who was like such a father figure in my life when he passed away my ex of six years who who, you know, who was like my big, big love. He was at that point of my life, my big, big love. Sorry, Matt. Sorry, Matt. No, but like genuinely, you know, I think we both had thought life would turn out differently.

He was that person for me. He messaged me. He did not show up at the funeral. And it was a small funeral. You also don't know the size of it. Some people have big funerals. My papa's funeral, there was only like 40 people there. It would have stood out like a sore fucking thumb

if my ex-boyfriend was sitting there in the back row. But this is also how much I can't stress that it depends on the situation if something happened to my dad and I'm putting myself in the situation and my exes plural turned up like but specifically this one of eight years if he turned up I would welcome that that wouldn't bother me and I don't think if I actually turned up to his dad's I don't I think he would have thought that was nice because we probably wouldn't have spoken or been together but I think we had that sort of a relationship that he probably would have been like thanks for coming and that's it but that's how much it depends on what you had

with that person and what you have now. But I guess I can't stress the point enough. It's so important to note that she's not dead yet. If you want to pay respects to the point that you're getting anxiety about it, like you're pre-thinking about what you're going to do when she passes, do it now. That's what I think. And if you don't feel like you're close enough to do it now,

then I don't think you should be going to the funeral when he's grieving. Yeah, I totally agree. All right, question number two. And this is a very dumb one. No question is a dumb one. Sorry to have wrote this. What is the etiquette when using someone else's shower when you're staying with them?

Some questions, okay, not all questions are built the same. Don't wean it. Do you bring your own shampoo, conditioner and body wash or is it acceptable to just use theirs? What? You just use theirs. This is so hard to answer. No, because I actually don't know.

My immediate thought was this is so stupid. Of course you can use theirs. But now I'm thinking I have some pretty – I have like a sign-up membership to my shampoo and conditioner. Like it's expensive and it's – if someone was going willy-nilly with it, throwing it around, I don't know. It depends on the – okay, it depends. But no, I would say if you're staying at someone's house,

if you knew you were going to be staying at their house, if you're having an overnight stay, bring your own shit because it's planned. If you're having a sleepover that wasn't as planned, then yeah, of course you can use whatever's in their house. but I think like don't just rock up to someone's house and not bring a single thing and expect to use every single one of their toiletry items like that's a bit random yeah I think body wash though free for all anyone can use body wash yeah okay here's what I think if it's one night if you're going one or two nights I think it's fine you can you know you're a guest you can use their stuff I

wouldn't care if someone used my stuff but if you're coming for a couple of weeks stay like if you're settling in you're properly going to be there then you've got to bring your own stuff you have to it's not a hotel it's not on them to provide what you need but also like no a night's fine yes of course a night's fine and if you walk into their shower and the only things that they have is like chanel products for everything i would say that there is like a scale if it's dove body wash that's a free-for-all if it's chanel body wash i would say use that shit sparingly i have and probably put it back in the exact position of which you used it from so that they don't know for sure whether you used it or not so i have two bathrooms i have

two bedrooms two bathrooms in my flat and my bathroom that's my en suite is like all my expensive stuff like the skincare that I like to use and my really nice hair conditioner and my treatment and everything like that really good face washers but then the other bathroom is like the backup bathroom if someone comes to stay and it's like and it's full of palm olives it's the two-in-one it's like it's like the two-in-one anti-dandruff no but it's the stuff where I'm like this is if somebody needed a shower in there it's set with everything that they need but it's not the high-end stuff. And that's what I've done to separate it.

I mean, look, I don't think that this is a big problem, but I do think it's weird if you were not planning on staying at their house and you brought your things. So, like, there's nothing worse than when you go on a date with someone, for example, and actually this is funny because Jono, who is our video editor, he always has, like, an overnight bag in his bag. He's the guy that you can be like, hey, I need deodorant. He's like, here's some deodorant.

Lots of guys do that. But if you rocked up on a date with me and you brought an overnight bag to a date i would think that that happened once creepy as fuck i went on a date once and the guy rocked up with like shampoo conditioner and he had a whole overnight bag it's not okay and i well he stayed it's too but i'm angry that he presumed that that was gonna happen okay in his defense nah there is none okay anyway what okay what if they bring like spare underwear and a toothbrush yeah this is what happened right and i get it he turned out with a backpack and i was I was like, what's in the backpack?

Because we'd never met. We'd been talking, though, for like a week online. And what's in the backpack? And he's like, to be honest, he's like, just stuff in case I stay. Yes. He's like, because he was staying at a family member's house across Sydney, like Western Sydney. It would have been hours on public transport that night.

He's like, look, in case, better to be prepared. In case it went well, I just thought I'd bring a backpack. If it doesn't, I'll just go home with my backpack. It's no biggie. That to me. It was great. That would have been a challenge to send him home. I would have been like, oh, okay.

You came prepared. You can leave prepared. You know the funniest thing? I said that he could stay because I felt bad for him. But I was like, nothing's going to happen. You can stay. You can stay on the lounge. And then you pity fucked him.

100%. We all knew how that was going to end. And I tried. We went home and I was like, I made the lounge for him. It was so hot. You know him. You know him. He was the American one that went over to America.

Do I know him? Did I meet him? Yeah. Remember the guy that I accidentally stalked his girlfriend and liked her and followed her on Facebook and then she was like why is that random girl following me on Facebook it's a whole another segue anyway when I um I do remember when I first went to Ben's house and I feel like this is indicative of men I first went over to stay there got into the shower we didn't really know each other yet it was just the most cliche men's shower there was nothing not one thing no face

wash no soap no shampoo and conditioner there was like one five in one oh yeah it was a five in one there was just like one little body washy thing and I was like babe what do you use for soap he's like body wash i'm like what about face wash he's like body wash i was like what about your shampoo and conditioner he's like body wash that's it it's all used for the whole thing and i was like you are not prepared for to have a girlfriend yeah i was like well at least i know you're not hooking up with people because there's no chicks coming over there no woman has been here for a while there is no evidence there's nothing yeah look i mean i i think it's fine i think you can if you're staying at someone's house and just don't take a dump in their bath and you're doing

fine who the fuck is shitting in someone's bath someone probably is talking about shower etiquette I'm just saying, to be clear. Well, we're not talking about bath etiquette. All right. Question three. How do I let a work colleague know that I have no interest in being friends with them outside of work? Keisha, did you write this in?

Or even at work, to be honest. I really struggle working with this particular person, but that's clearly unbeknownst to her as she continuously asks me to do things outside of work. I always come up with excuses not to go, but it's getting harder and harder. Also, these are not big group activities where everyone is invited. It's literally just the two of us and maybe one or two other people. Do I need to be more direct with her or just say yes and make it a really bad time because she doesn't want to hang out anymore

or just keep putting up with it and coming up with more excuses? Sorry, I know this is a super lame question, but I'm really desperate. This reminds me of that movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. You know how she's like, I'm going to be the worst person on a date? The worst friend. Yeah. This makes me feel sad. For who?

For the friend, for the girl who wants a friend. the work colleague yeah i feel she clearly i feel sad i think she's not reading the room she's not reading the room but she obviously isn't someone who has close friends because why is she trying to push a friendship so hard with someone who clearly doesn't like her she's difficult to work with that's probably why she doesn't have close friends i think look i get this i have always been this person that hasn't and i think that's more of a personality trait as opposed to like not wanting friends but I've always tried to keep my work life separate to my personal life which is hard because sometimes unless you really froth the person like I have

made some best yeah I've made some best friends through the hospital because hospitals what that I've worked in hundreds of people work in a hospital so you're always going to meet someone in some department that you click with but when it's a smaller office which I'm assuming this is right like you see her every day I'm assuming it's a small office she wants to hang out you don't don't really get along with her by the sounds of it or you don't really like spending time with her and you don't want to spend time with her I do feel a little bit sorry for Elora in all seriousness because she's trying to have a friend but we don't have to do things we don't want to do and you don't have to spend your time with someone that you don't want to and I know that sounds mean but

the older we get and the more responsibilities we have and when you start to have kids and you've got you're so stressed you're so busy with work and just trying to survive and trying to fucking live in this economy that time is such a precious commodity you don't want to be spending it with people you genuinely don't have an interest in or don't like yeah that's the easy bit you don't have to go and it's worse for you to go and be a mole so that she hates you like that is way worse the part I don't know what to do is I don't know how you say it to her I don't know if you just have that conversation and say look I really try and keep my work and my personal life separate I hope that that's okay with you but like that's just how I like to operate or maybe it's just

easier to consistently say you're busy I agree with you Brit I don't think that you should force yourself to be friends with people who you don't feel as though that you're getting anything out of the friendship either like if you're just doing it to be nice because this person keeps asking you that's not the foundations of what a friendship is based on and that's okay you know you will really vibe with some people and you won't vibe with others it does make me sad for her that maybe she doesn't have friends and she's really trying, but it's also not worth her putting her energy into someone who maybe she thinks could be her friend and that you are just busy and you're not able to do something instead of being able to like, you know, try and actually make other friends who

might actually be invested in her. I don't think it's necessary to have a sit down conversation with her around placing boundaries. Sometimes I think we can really overshoot it with this sort stuff I also don't think you need to come up with constant excuses you just have to say I'm not able to I'm busy you don't have to explain why you're busy sometimes when we give people a no we often feel as though we need to explain why the no is a no it's because it's not always that easy and give context yeah I know it's not because like think of this conversation ready like hey do you want to hang out tonight oh my god I'm so sorry I can't I'm actually so busy at the moment oh what do you got going on oh look a life has been hectic a lot of personal stuff I don't really want to get

into it. Yeah. I just, I totally get it. And I agree with you. It's like, you don't, you don't owe anyone anything. We've done episodes on that before, but I get that sometimes you're in a position where it's, it's hard to make excuses. Totally. But I think that's the problem. I think sometimes we force ourselves to make excuses and then we get caught in lies. I think keep it as simple. Laura doesn't even have kids. I'm not even married. I think keep it as simple as you can when you do decline an invitation to something. You don't have to explain the no all the time. And that's where you can get yourself caught up because you're like, oh, I've run out of excuses. And it's like, well, you shouldn't be having to say, oh, tomorrow I've got dinner with my mom.

And on Tuesday, I'm going to get my nails done. And on Wednesday, I'm just going to be really busy on the phone because the telemarketer is going to call me. You just don't have to give that level of detail. Do you know what I mean? So I think if you consistently keep saying, I'm sorry, I can't this week. I'm really busy. You know, I've got a lot on with family stuff or my friends are in town, whatever you want to and keep a top line as possible, those invitations will start to decrease. And I think in time, they will get a picture that, you know, not that you're not interested, but that you're not available. Your friendship is not available to them because you're not someone who's worthy investing time in because you're never free. And that's okay.

And I know you probably feel bad and it's probably a annoying thing because you feel like, or she hasn't she can't read the room but unfortunately it's it's just it's it's an something that's uncomfortable but it's not something that's just avoidable yeah and it's hard because you've even said you don't even want to be friends with her at work but not only do you not have interest outside of work but you don't want to be friends at work so maybe you need to put up a bit more of a vibe at work no no i think so you've got to put up a vibe at work that like we are not going to be besties so like we're not going to have those laughs and those gossips we're not because that's what leads someone to wanting to hang out with you after

work so when you're at work you're just going to work mode there's a difference with the energy you give people if you want to be their friend and you don't want to be their friend and this is a tricky situation because you work with her all day she wants to hang out with you all the time you don't want to hang out with her at all i feel differently to you brit and the reason for that is is because i think you don't treat people at all in a way where the vibe is like i just worry that that sort of recommendation changes the culture in a workplace like you don't want her to think that she's done something wrong you don't want her to think that you're angry at her but there's a difference with a work vibe and a friend vibe a hundred percent like friends that are like babes

let's go grab a coffee at lunch let's go get a coffee and have a gossip and and have a laugh and have a chat and there's a very big difference with that and like hey guys I'm just gonna go take my lunch break I'll come back like that's the kind of thing I mean that you you don't treat her differently like you don't be mean to her but you put out different energy when you want to be friends with someone and you see someone as a work colleague and I'm even thinking of people you know in our work environment I think also it also depends on how chatty you are as a person like are you someone who shares a lot about your personal life at work are you sharing with her in a friend way that would give her the the thought that maybe this is a friendship you know

because like maybe she's part of like a group at work and so you're all sharing different stories and stuff about yourself and so she feels as though there's a closeness there because it's been manufactured through just spending a lot of time together and sharing a lot about each other whereas to you you're like oh I would have told that to my hairdresser that to me didn't mean anything I think like assessing how you interact with her definitely Brit when you say it in that way but I just think like you don't need to give off a vibe at work that's an I don't want to be your friend vibe because that could really affect your ability to work together in a way that's like harmonious I don't know this is such a tough one there's just not really a it's not really an

answer that's like, do this, say this? My definitive answer is do not sit this person down and tell them that you don't want to have a friendship outside of work. We don't always need to communicate our boundaries to people. It just makes you sound like an absolute asshole. If you're like, hey, I really enjoy working with you, but actually like we are not people who are going to be friends outside of work, you will come across as such a dick. I think it is purely just a situation where you just politely decline her invitations and she will at some point understand that this is a friendship that's not going to be beyond a work environment oh i know what you do what quit get a new job get her fired yeah okay last question this is i think a good one for you

to answer laura laurie laurie i said it i said it weird hey laurie i think this is a good one for to answer, Laura. It's a jewellery-based question. Hashtag Tony May. Swipe up, swipe up. It's not Tony May, no, but... Okay. 20% discount, life uncut 20. Do I get... Is that actually a discount? Otherwise you'd cut that out. Nah. I can...

Whatever, guys. You want a discount on Tony May? Life uncut 20. I'll put it up. I don't care. Are you paying for that ad spot? Jokes. Do I get... But am I? Everyone, in case you weren't aware, I own a jewellery business. It's called Tony May and you can have a discount code. It's lifeuncut20.

what was the question last week my husband asked me to pick up a parcel for him from the post office and said it was a tool for work when i picked up the parcel i noticed it was from a silversmith so i obviously googled them i didn't look any further as mother's day was approaching and i didn't want to ruin my big surprise now i didn't get any jewelry for mother's day i looked on the website and I saw that it could be fingerprint jewelry, but that's way out of our budget. I mentioned it to my best friend to see what to do. After naming the jeweler, she said, hey, look, our mutual friend is mates with the jeweler. Maybe our friend is going to propose and he's just using the husband as an address for the secret delivery. You know how like people are

like, oh, I don't want the ring to come to my house. I'll send it to a friend. My three possible situations are, one, my husband bought jewelry for someone else. Two, fingerprint jewelry that We'll be back hopefully in a few weeks. Three, my husband is in on our friend's proposal and he is keeping this a secret. My question is, do I ask my husband about the parcel to see if he's buying jewelry for someone else or do I wait and see if something is coming

in the next few months? And then she finished with, clearly it's bothering me. Okay, so fingerprintery. I have a few feelings about this. Firstly, yes, you should just speak to your husband about it because if your thought is when you see a parcel that maybe your husband's buying jewelry for, if your brain goes there, that's a problem. Yeah. The first thing is like, who's this for? You've also been watching way too much of Love Actually. It's probably like the first thing.

Like I would say, speak to your husband, ask him the question. You can be direct about it. The thing with fingerprint jewelry though, especially around Mother's Day and for anyone who's ever wanted or gotten a custom piece of jewelry made, jewelry labels who do anything that's customizable during Mother's Day have such long lead times. So it's very, very possible that he has seen this maybe two weeks or a week before Mother's Day and been like, oh my God, that's a great idea. I'll organize that. But you've got to actually put your fingerprints in the wax, send the wax off. That's then got to go through the lost wax casting method. That's got to be set in the silver. And like, it's a process and most jewelers take more than six weeks to do

that process. And it's probably assuming your husband didn't realize how long it could take. Totally. So this was like, Mother's Day was only a couple of weeks ago. There is a very, very, very good chance that it is for you. And it's just the process of this is actually like two months and he was not organized enough, which I think is totally fair. The reason why I don't think your husband's having an affair, I don't think it's for someone else, is because if it was, if it was, if he was doing the dirty, if he bought someone a really expensive piece of jewelry and didn't want you to know about it. He's not getting you to pick it up. He's not getting you to go to the post office to pick up the piece of jewelry he's this is so innocent to him that he didn't

think it was a big deal well then also pretty shit surprise then in the same thing like if he's gotten you a surprise you also shouldn't be going to get your wife to go pick up her own surprise yes that's a whole other thing if this was me i mean i would my very first point of call would be to sit down and ask my husband maybe he is on a secret proposal for his friend that's totally fine i can tell you you're his wife and you're allowed to know that you're allowed to be in on those secrets too. Yeah. I'm calling bullshit on that one. But I just think, I always find it so fascinating because I think for me, when I read that question, it's actually not so much about jewelry. It's around communication and what's your communication like with your husband?

Why do you not feel as though you can go to him straight away when you have these sorts of like queries or questions or things that make you feel a little bit unsafe or uncertain? No, I get that. Cause if she thinks it could be a really a surprise, you don't want to blow the surprise like you don't want your husband to know that the surprise is ruined but i think the surprise so like she didn't she waited for mother's day it didn't come so yes you don't want to blow the surprise but if it's leading your brain to a place where maybe you're thinking that he's doing something for someone else like that is so far on the other end of the spectrum that like the fact that your brain has gone there makes me think like you have to have these conversations

here's what i think he's your husband right let's give him the benefit of the doubt he has gone and done an amazing surprise for you you have you deserve that you have multiple fingerprint jewelry that is probably going to be in the mail what i would do is ask you know what okay put your detective hat on what call the jeweler inquire ask hey how long out of curiosity does it take generally speaking for a fingerprint jewelry he'll say oh probably like four to six weeks whatever do the math sit it out wait another four weeks and if if eight weeks has gone past from mother's day and you haven't got any jewelry at all from that jeweler then ask the question spoiler it's probably gone to someone else i would then ask the question because then you've given it enough

buffer you've given it enough lead time and then he's your husband right my only worry is that i Love that we keep outlining this as though she's forgotten. But it's so important because, and we said it earlier, but if your first thought here is that like, holy shit, he's bought jewelry for someone else, there's got to be more happening in that relationship. Like it's not your first thought when you see a jewelry box from your partner that it's going to someone else,

unless there are other things that are like leaning into that. Also, wait, I just want to unpack this one bit because you said these were exact words. After naming the jeweler, she said, our mutual friend is mates with the jeweler. So maybe our friend is going to propose. Well, this is just too many degrees of separation. If your friend is mates with the jeweler.

Just keep the ring at the jeweler. Then why wouldn't the jeweler just give the ring to your friend? Why is the jeweler sending it to your house? It's so obvious he's cheating. He's not cheating. Shut up. It's so obvious that it's for you and just fingerprint jewelry takes a fucking long time to make. It's actually, yeah, but if Christmas comes and you haven't got your jewelry yet, ask the question.

but I do I think people especially when it comes to customized anything customized in the jewelry space it takes so long. Are you listening to this Ben? Yeah I mean lead times. I honestly can't tell you the amount of people the amount of men who have come to Tony May emailed me and been like hey I really want to propose to my wife I'm going away on this trip we're going to Europe next week I need to get a ring and I'm like great and they're like they want this ring they want this stone, blah, blah, blah. It's totally a custom piece. And I'm like, amazing. When are you thinking of proposing in 10 days? And I'm like, mate, are you fucking kidding me? You need to buy something off the shelf. There is no jeweler who's going to make you a ring in 10 days. And

if they can make you a ring in 10 days, they don't have any customers. I wouldn't be buying a ring from them. Or you're paying bank. They are. Yeah. You're paying twice as much as you should have. But I honestly, like it happens all the time and I don't think it's all men. some men are so organized they are so meticulous they have photos and they have measurements and they have like all of the qualities the diamonds figured out like some men do the detailed work and some guys are like oh I wanted to get this thing made in four days and I want to pay 400 bucks for it yeah I want this ring and I'm like that ring is nine thousand dollars and they're like I'm like what's your budget and they're like oh it's 800 bucks and I'm like how did you think

that was going to happen how did you I'm not joking guys being a jewel as well I think that's going to be Ben. I don't think Ben understands the process, but also at this point, buy it off the shelf. I don't care. Then you also know who you can come to. Yeah. A hundred percent. Brittany has a friend who's a jewelry designer. I think of Jay, like my sister's partner that we spoke about at the start. He was so the opposite end of the spectrum. He was meticulous. He was so organized. He got it from a jeweler that he knew Sheridan had liked over the years. She was in Europe. He didn't think about the importation tax that was on him, but he designed it like months and months and months and months and months ahead sherry on the other hand was less organized

so sherry got jay because jay's indian in indian culture the men wear a bracelet right it's a silver bracelet it's a cuff that goes on to the wrist and once it's on it has to be quite tight and then it doesn't get taken off so not too long before the wedding sherry contacted me and was like i'd like to get this cuff made for jay and i was like totally fine we can get it done got it done and it was too small because she took the measurements wrong it didn't even go over his knuckles so we You had to do the most, speaking of, like the most rushed job to get it done again. It's perfect.

Yeah, but that's like a maids race thing. You're not doing that for the general public. Totally. This is not me telling you guys. We can rush things, but we don't like to because there's an order to it. There's people in line. Yeah, 100%. And you also, correct me if I'm wrong, did you make Sherry's wedding band?

Yeah, and I made Sherry's wedding band. Yeah, it's so cute. I know. It's all in the family. Sweet. Anyway, guys. This is a lot of Sherry in this episode. We love Sherry.

We're so happy she's having a baby. Anyway, just go and speak to your husband. guys. Just sometimes these questions come in and my answer is communicate with your partner, speak to them and listen. Okay. What about this though? Now I think that he's very dedicated husband. I don't think he's cheating. I think he loves you. Hypothetically. He's cheating. He's cheating. Hypothetically. What do you do? And I'm just, I'm just like being a detective here. If you go and say to him, which you're entitled to, hey baby, I've got a confession. When I picked up that package for you I saw accidentally that it was from the jewelers you know I just wanted

you to know like obviously I'm gonna love whatever it is if you say that to him he's gonna go and he's cheating on you he's gonna go to the jeweler and buy something really quickly and then put it in the mail and say it arrived a couple of days later like if you've given him the information that he needs to cover his cheating tracks he's gonna well that's what I'd do if I was cheating anyway if my partner came to me and said I saw the package he'd be like oh my god you've ruined and then he'd get on the blower to his mate that's the jeweler. He'd be like, I need something from you. What do you think she does?

I think you wait the time period. I would. This is OTT. Give it a buffer though. Give it a couple of extra weeks just in case. So you are sure that there is nothing coming from that jeweler. Like when that time period is gone, then you go to him. This is terrible advice.

No, it's not. It's entrapment. Because if you've waited two, three months, you've seen the box. You've seen it. Yeah. You know that there is something from a jeweler. if you don't get it in three months he's not proposing because you're already married there's jewelry somewhere for someone so i think if you've waited long enough there's no way i'd be sitting on

that information because it'll eat you alive then you go to him and say hey confession a couple of months ago i saw i saw that there was a jewelry package and i just want to know what's up like what was that cd that she got on love actually nora jones or what's her name no no um joni mitchell that's it she gets given a yeah on love actually she gets given a Joni Mitchell CD and you know what's so offensive about that you want to know tell me I'll tell you if she's actually because she's like it was her favorite artist he's like I know that you love Joni Mitchell it's your favorite artist well if he knew that and Joni Mitchell really was her favorite artist she'd already had that CD that's why that's even more offensive you're having an affair and you're

giving me something I already have can I tell you a funny story and I can laugh about this now So my psycho ex that I was with for two years that had the double life that most of you – We speak about him a lot. Yeah, most of you know about. If you don't, I had a psycho ex that had a double life. I wish the sleuthers – I mean, they can find Jordan with his sock tan. Surely they can find this guy.

Come on. So he was overseas at the time, right, for a work thing, and he was going through a really rough time. Poor baby. Poor baby. It was really hard. I decided to be the super romantic that I am, and I sent him – this cost me hundreds of dollars.

I sent him this ginormous box of a hundred strawberries and berries that were beautifully dipped in different colored chocolates and they had nuts and then they had you know you know that over the top yeah it was unnecessary yeah but it was beautiful and I sent him a really nice card one of those things just to be like I'm thinking of you I love you whatever so I found this out later the delivery knocked on the door and he opened the door and he saw this giant box of a hundred beautiful strawberries and I don't know how he thought so quickly how he acted so quickly he just obviously thought it was from me slid the card off put it in his pocket turned around to his other partner that happened to be there that I didn't know looked at her and went surprise and

gave it to her he gave her what I sent him and I know this because she told me like when it all came out that he'd been cheating we were like putting all this stuff together and she said hang on did you ever send him a hundred covered strawberries I was like to America and she was like yes and I was like yes I did she's like oh my god she's like I was in the apartment when they arrived she's like I knew he would never have done that he pretended that he fucking bought them for her so she the other woman ate hundreds of dollars of my gift that's so funny imagine imagine if it was fingerprint jewelry yeah but then you could do the testing I know his fingerprint was anyway I mean, mate, we've lived a life.

Like we said, we're not experts, but we have had some experience. We've had the trauma. All right. Well, guys, that is it from us. If you have a question for Ask Uncut, slide into the DMs, send it in to us, and hopefully we can answer it on next week's episode. Keep them spicy. Keep them light.

Keep them whatever. We don't care. Keep them coming. We are going to start keeping these shorter. No, we're not. Every time I look down, I'm like, it's an hour and a half. Stop lying. All right.

Don't forget. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love!