Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Big Ben is in town and joins us on the pod!

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

Hey Lifers! Britt's boyfriend Ben is here and making his life uncut debut! Hope you enjoy the sultry tones of our Swiss sensation! First up Britt and Ben share how they met and are making their long distance relationship work! Vibes for the week:Laura: Natural deodorant "no pong"Britt: Bicarb soda and vinegar to flush out your dishwasher and washing machine Then we jump into your questions: When flying (usually for work, like a 1 hour trip), I usually chat to the person/stranger seated next to me on the plane. Like conversation the whole way. I was just in Sydney this week for work, and colleagues commented that this is weird and I should just go to sleep or put headphones on. Am I a weirdo for having a chat? I have been with my partner for over 2 years. We had a difficult relationship from the start, and we had so many conflicts. Lately, the conflicts have been really bad and he has told me things like "I don't love you anymore" - "I am not attracted to you" and so many other small things (you are too emotional, too sensitive, you talk too much etc" - but when I asked him the question "why don't you break up with me then!" - he says, it does not feel right. We had so many break up chats, but neither of us could do it. Is it normal to have these types of conflicts? And if not.. Why is he not breaking up with me if I am such a burden?  Do you think it is unreasonable to be told what to wear to hens? I understand having a theme but on top of paying for accommodation, activities and drinks I now have to buy an outfit that I will likely never wear again to fit a specific theme. If you have a question, or an ask uncut aftermath, send it in to our InstagramYou can join the facebook group here and follow us on tiktokTell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xx    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollongong land. Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Laura. And you look particularly put together today. No, this is you having a little crack because you know that I got dressed in the dark.

It genuinely is not. You actually look probably better than you've looked in many days. In not an offensive way. Have you seen this? Okay, I'm wearing, you guys can't see this, it's not a visual medium. I'm wearing a white shirt and I didn't realise until I got here that there's like full stains under the armpit, but they're not stains, like as in it didn't happen, it's clean. It's just so old that it's become stained.

But it doesn't look like, so I think you think it's dirty. I think you look very lovely. It's only because I'm pretty much couple dress matched with you today. We are couple dress. We've gone for a monochrome look. Hey, I have something that will make you thoroughly thrilled. Oh. So something happened the other day.

Brit found, and if you've been listening to this podcast for a long time, you would know that Brit lives in my old apartment. So I moved out a year and a half ago. And I desperately needed somewhere to live and I could not get a rental. I had a puppy illegally. I wasn't allowed to have my puppy and I had her and I couldn't find a place to move there except a dog. I had a legal puppy.

It was an illegal puppy. That is why I moved into your place because I knew I could A, just move straight in and you could have a dog. So a year and a half ago, Britt moves in to the old apartment and just the other day she sends me a photo of what is my absolute favorite bikini top, like Zulu and Zephyr, absolute favorite. You've worn it to death. I have.

I mean, I hadn't worn it to death. It had plenty of life left in it, but yeah, it was my fave. Well, so I, I literally, I don't know how it happened. Oh, actually I do know how it happened. Part of my peacocking that we know I've been doing for Ben's arrival, I was peacocking literally every part of my life. I peacocked my house. So I had my house thoroughly clean for Ben's arrival. I went outside and part of that clean, the cleaner I reckon has found it, your swim top in the backyard. Then Delilah has obviously found it and it was covered in dirt. Now I know you haven't brought a swim top to my house in a long time so I was like this must have been here for 18 months

no okay so it was pretty trash and Britt was like hey look I guess this has seen better days sends a photo in the group chat and she was like I'm gonna put this in the bin for you and I was like don't you fucking dare I will I will recover this I will bring it back to life I will revive it I was trying to be nice I sent the picture saying haha look what I found going in the bin and you were like you literally said please don't wash it and bring it back to me I was like is this bitch serious i'm like this shit's been in here for 18 months it's come in huntsman it has not been in there for 18 months britney accidentally took it home from rockhampton in her luggage and then her dog took it into the backyard and that is what's happened but anyway i tried to wash it

and it can't come back to life and i feel really fucking sad it's completely inaccurate it is not true it was so disheveled i was like there is no way this woman is going to keep this bikini top and she begged me to bring it home can i tell you how convinced i was that there's no way you would keep it I had to go and get it back out of the bin I put it in the the auto bin downstairs in the basement that you got to get to by a key and then you were like no please please I really need that and I even sent a producer Keisha I was like look she really wants this I've got to go get it out of the bin I was like do you think she's serious or do you think I can just throw it out she's like no you better go get it yeah so I went and got it so it's been in the dirt for 18 months

in Delilah's mouth, in Delilah's kennel, in the auto bin. Now it's coming back. I told you you wouldn't resurrect it and you haven't been able to resurrect it. Well, what I feel is that you and Delilah owe me a new super top. It's got nothing to do with me. Why would I have stolen your swim top from all the room? You accidentally put – okay, this is probably a lot for people

to listen to. I think it accidentally got into your suitcase. It was discarded. Delilah found it. It became a new chew toy. And that probably is the closest thing to reality. as what could possibly exist. Keisha, don't you get on board with this?

I can see you over in the corner there. Keisha's like, it sounds very likely. Laura's like, I lost my car keys, guys. It must be Delilah. I'm like, no, you drop your car keys everywhere. You dropped them in the Uluru Desert. We have somebody who's sitting over there giggling because they probably know exactly what I'm talking about.

We have someone who has joined us today on today's episode, so we will stop bickering like an old married couple. Who do we have here, Britt? Benjamin. Hello, guys. Ben, whose actual name is Benjamin. Close enough. How do we say it properly?

Benjamin. Benjamin. Yeah. Isn't that what I'm saying? I only get that if I'm in trouble from my mum, so I haven't heard it in a while. And when you're in trouble from Brett? You don't really get in trouble. I've been good lately, I think.

Lately? Ben arrived in Sydney 28 hours ago, so it hasn't been long. So we thought we'd bring your boyfriend to work day, pop in, say a quick little hello, and then we'll get you out of here. so that we can keep doing our job. No, I received a text message from Britt this morning and she was like, hey, I forgot to tell you, Ben's going to come to work today.

Maybe he should jump on the podcast. And I was like, fuck yes, he should jump on the podcast. Yeah. Now, Ben, the last time I saw you. Oh, the only time. The only time prior to now that I have seen you. You were doing a dirty stuff over in Britt's apartment. You were just about to sneak out.

I was leaving and you were arriving and that was for a one night stand. Yes. But it turned into not a one night stand. I know. She can't get rid of me now. No, I know. Okay, no.

So we'd had a one-night stand the night before. It was the second night. And this was the second day you were popping over. So we'd had one dirty one-night stand and then you came over and I was like this – I still thought I'd never see him again. I was like this is going to be funny if I can make these two worlds collide. That's how much we're like content, content, content. Britt was like, Laura, just stay.

He'll be here soon and then leave. And so I stayed to get a glimpse. So this is the situation for everyone playing at home. And Laura, Laura's husband, May J, Keisha, and myself were all at my house because we were doing a podcast from my house. So we were doing some work and they were all leaving because my one-night stand was coming over. But I said to them, guys, you should see the guy I banged last night.

I was like, he's so hot. He's coming over. Like, why don't you just hang around, pretend you're tying up work at the same time as he arrives just so you can see this guy. Which is what you do when you don't expect that it's going to turn into a long-term relationship when you're like, I have nothing to fucking lose here. Totally.

So you walked in to this girl's house that you'd banged once and you see all her work colleagues and all her friends there. What are you thinking? I mean, very awkward. Yeah. But yeah, I had a couple of hours to kill. So I thought, why not come over? What was the point where you decided this has transitioned from one night stand into

holy shit, I've got the feels? I think I kind of forced you to speak to me every day. I forced you? Yeah. I mean, I went off on holiday for a week and I kind of said, well, you know, why don't we speak every day? obviously the time difference is a little bit different and difficult so I think Brett probably thought oh no this guy wants to speak to him all the time because of her commitment issues and all

that kind of stuff so we'd hooked up for a couple of days and then when Ben was leaving I remember him walking away and the last thing I said to him I called out the window he was down the street and he looked back and I flashed him I flashed my boobs at him down the street because I was like this is I'm never seeing this guy again and this will be funny he reckons that's the moment he was like i need to speak to this girl again no no no it was listen this is the story we're at the coffee shop and then you said listen if you were from here if you lived in australia i would like to date you so i was like hmm you know what difference does it make where i live you know people do long distance and all that kind of stuff which is funny because i was adamant i didn't want to do long

distance but that was the moment where i thought might as well give this a try so ben had said ben left and then he said hey i've got this idea why don't we talk every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed and i was like oh my god this guy like i just had sex with him that's it i must you know that goes to show you how good i am in the sack but i remember you were on your phone non-stop you like oh he was forcing me to speak to him and i was like hey brit anytime you want to rock up to this record and get off your phone you were like this every day every single day yeah but you know the funny thing is i was like immediately of course i wanted to talk to him i really obviously liked him but i was like i need to get on with my life the fact that

he wanted to talk every morning and night the reason it was a problem and we got to the bottom of it was because in my head immediately i was like well what am i going to hook up with someone else if he's going to call me every morning if i'm at someone's house or someone's in my house and he so i was like i don't think we can do this baby he's like no it's really important to keep the communication turns out that's why he was doing it so that i couldn't go and hook up with someone else part of the plan or part of the plan so wait this was as in like you were like i'm ready let's try this as a relationship but you hadn't had that conversation no it was kind of like just be honest you love me from the moment i was like wow yeah when i saw you i was like wow

what a nice girl what a nice guy i also remember you not being a big fan of me no i was not a big fan that you're in another country that was the thing i was not a big fan of and it's probably a weird thing for people to listen to because like brit and i have been friends for so long and we have been like entrenched in each other's lives for so so long like in every way in every way and we have created businesses together and you know we work and we live and our friendship and our work relationship is so intertwined. And I know how much Brit can sacrifice when she gets into what are long distance relationships or any relationships because long distance relationships also require a lot of sacrifices. And so my fear has always

been for Brit that she would be the one making all the sacrifices, which I will be. That's the big thing that I worry about. I'm like, why would your career take a backseat to someone else's? and so I guess for me that's always been the thing that I'm like feel really protective of because I know how hard Brit has worked but ultimately I want her to be happy and that is the thing we discussed in the early days because Ben was like Laura doesn't like me does she and I said she doesn't know you she likes you it's not personal it's just that she's seen this new person come in on the other side of the world and she's worried exactly about that she's worried that I will end up having to sacrifice something but she's since then she loves you you guys love each

other you zoom you zoom I've got something I'm like a hundred years old I mean and I do wonder of what people think when they listen to this because I don't ever want you to think that I don't not like you that's awful no no I don't I haven't I guess the thing is is when you're when you're one of your closest friends gets a boyfriend yeah you normally have the opportunity to get to know them really well and that's also really hard when the person lives on the other side of the country and you know Brit goes to see you all the time this is the very first time that you've been back here like you don't get the opportunity to build the same friendship your worlds are quite separate and I guess that you know normally when your friend gets into a relationship you can see

is it a healthy relationship do they treat them well mutual but when it's completely a long distance relationship that aspect of it is taken away so there is a level of protectiveness also because i've seen brit be hurt in the past i also think i'm just like don't fuck it up yeah but i love you don't worry i also think people sometimes might misunderstand because laura and i and keisha but because the three of us are so close i think we're closer than people understand we spend more time together that sometimes we take the piss from each other and people might take that as serious but it's just banter between the three of us you know so i think sometimes people sitting at home maybe when we know something is light-hearted maybe think it's a

joke but we all love each other but let's get down to the serious stuff for one second okay i have a really serious question ben are you actually as afraid of spiders and snakes and being just in australia as what i have been told you are absolutely like petrified of this country and everything that will kill you i just feel like everything is coming out to get me uh there's sharks in the water so i can't go in the water there's spiders everywhere i've heard about the story about the uh huntsman's nest in laura's house or in my car well both yeah i haven't seen them yet but i'm pretty sure that house was infested with huntsman's when i lived there but we did get an exterminator to come out and get rid of them so don't you're in safe hands

although that was only one you guarantee and that was 18 months ago so yeah no well so last night ben goes oh my god there's a spider and i was like oh my god it's happened there's a huntsman A daddy long nose. No, I literally, this is not an exaggeration. I look up. He's like jumped off the lounge. I look up and I'm like, I had to say where. I was like, where?

He's like, right there. And he's pointing and I'm like, where? There was a spider that was probably a 10 cent piece maybe. But it could be a big one. It could become a big one. Not overnight. Well, no, but it has all the friends, all the brothers. It didn't have any brothers, babe.

It was by itself. Anyway, it was a whole big thing. And I guess it's because, I don't know, you guys don't really have any killer animals in Switzerland, right? Splinky cows. No, we've got nothing. You've got nothing, do you? We've got cows, cowbells, sheeps.

Cowbells, yeah. Watch out for those cowbells. So what is the plan while you're here? And so you're staying for three weeks or two weeks and you guys are doing a week in Bali. Yes. And then what is, I mean, apart from going out to far north Queensland where there actually are animals that could kill you, enjoy that.

Tomorrow, we're going tomorrow. What is your plan for the next couple of weeks? I think for me it's all about getting to know Brit and her daily life, like coming into the studio today. Getting to know Britt? Yeah. I thought we'll pass that. All I know is Britt on FaceTime, really.

Yeah, but getting to know like your life here, because I guess the thing is, is Ben's only experienced you and the version of you when you go to Scotland, not the version of you when you live your life. Yeah, you don't know any of my friends or family. You don't know. And it's funny, we even just did a big like tour

of all my local places yesterday. So because Ben and I FaceTime, I walk Delilah every morning and I go to the same coffee shop. I go to the same dog park. We do the same track and Ben's always on the phone. So he sees it on the phone. So yesterday we did like a real life tour.

I was like, this is the place that I get the coffee. And it's nice because you get to see my life. How have I differed here, do you think, to what you know? Like, am I a different person in my own home to who I am when I'm with you? No, I think because you've spent quite a bit of time with me in Scotland. So when I come home from training, you're there, which means when you come home from work, I'm there too now. Yeah, but you feel like I'm still the same person?

Yeah, for sure. Okay, great. Yeah, that's all. Just wanted to check. What do you find, like in times of doing long distance, what do you find are the things that you miss the most like i guess kind of like from a pros and cons perspective like what are the parts of it that you're like pussy this is the hardest sorry i'm assuming that's why i'm assuming that's why you're pussy on test please that's not

this is definitely getting cut out yeah it's absolutely not it's not it's fucking not welcome into the fall man no what are the things that you miss the most and like on like a daily perspective i guess i think our days are quite weird that we get on with our days and then we kind of speak to each other in the morning and at night so we kind of keep each other up to date of what we did during the day but i think it's when you have a good day you have a bad day there's kind of no one to share it with yeah i think when you're in a relationship the first person you want to share good times and bad times with is is that person so when you when i'm home after training and i had a good day or had a bad day or whatever it takes like

three four hours till till brit gets up to kind of tell her what's been happening kind of stuff so it's it's a little bit weird that you have to wait to tell people like what it's like and and all that kind of stuff so i think that instant need of talking to someone is not there well you use your partner to download as much as you use them to you know have sex and have good times and have laughs you also want someone to listen to you and like console you and just be there for you and i guess that is the hard point is that you go home to an empty house and yeah you have to wait four hours till someone wakes up and then they're not even there to really experience it or comfort you it's a verbal comfort yeah don't get any hugs don't get any kisses yeah all that kind of stuff kind

of goes missing and i know for you brit you were saying the other day that like the eight week period is kind of like when you start to feel that because i think you can kind of do long distance in blocks when you go without someone it's kind of like you know the first week is always really sad then you get back into your normal life again and then it kind of you can you can maintain it to a period but you were saying brit that like eight weeks is when you start to feel as though you miss being able to see each other. Yeah. I don't know if Ben heard that, but we, I think you'll agree the last week before now we started arguing about stupid stuff. Like we had the dumbest fight where we, I was like, I can't talk to you right now. And I hung up and he

was really, he was refusing. You know what was over? Let me tell you, this is probably the biggest argument we've had. I just asked Ben to set an alarm so he wouldn't miss his plane to Australia. that was it and he said he refused to set it because he's like i don't need to i'll be fine i'll set it when i want and and that was it i said babe it will make me feel better if you set the alarm so you don't miss it he's gonna have three hours sleep he's been out partying all night he refused and then we had an argument and that's when i was like it's the eight week mark for me i don't think we can go longer than eight weeks because we you need each other at that point and then you just start to get frustrated and angry at each other do you agree well i still think i

was right because I made the plane I made the plane I'm here right but do you think why do you have something against alarm clocks no I literally said I said to her I said to her listen I look forward to come to Australia of course I'm going to make the plane I have three planes to catch I'm not going to miss them I've packed I'm ready to go and I said to her we've obviously just finished the season we've been out a couple of hours and I'm like well I'm just going to stay up through the night go straight to the airport and sleep on the plane and she's like yeah it would make me feel better if you set an alarm i said well i've just told you i'm staying up i'm not going to sleep and yeah but it will make me feel better i'm like yeah but you don't set an

alarm if you don't go to sleep he sounds like an idiot hey right and then he you literally said to me i'm not going to set it now just because you asked me and oh and that's when i was like you don't need to have another fight now anyway but do you think eight weeks is like the limit because i feel like you need to have a limit for long distance yeah or you need to know exactly when you're going to see each other next i think that helps because i think a lot of people out there do long distance like are in long distance relationships now and it's sort of like it has its pros you always talk about the negatives it has its pros but I think a big part of if you're going to maintain a long distance relationship is to have something to look forward to and to be

making constant plans because if you don't have a plan and you don't know when you're going to see each other and it's not exciting what are you doing do you think you need to have I mean I think you need to have the short-term goals which you've established but do you think you also need to have the long-term goals as to when you're going to be in the same place together or when you're going to be able to do those things yeah so last night on the lounge i said to ben have you been have you been thinking about proposing and what's your answer to that and what was your answer to that be honest i said you said no yeah i said no i said no and i was like oh he's like why i was like no no reason just checking in

i was like has this been on your mind out of curiosity and he's like no has it been on yours i'm like i feel like i feel like that was a question where there was no right answer i feel like that's a question that you set someone up for failure with because if they are thinking about it and then they say yes then there's a time frame in which they need to deliver the question i did the men mans i said yes but i don't know when yeah we recovered yeah and it doesn't bother me god i was just trying to be cute i was just like you're just trying to be like you know we on the same page do we think both think of marriage and stuff like that it's always those moments where out of boredom I think she just asked the question it's like oh have you thought about proposing to

me and I'm like what do I answer it's just like it's such a random question it's like I didn't know the answer to that one yeah it's funny because you think that you think the same things right you think that you're laying there all cute thinking the same things and I'm like I wonder when he's going to propose and he's like I wonder when we're going to have sex next that's the difference in a man and a woman it really is isn't it I mean I can recall times where I thought I was having a deep and meaningful moment where I was laying there you know head on chest just like thinking away how blissed out I was and then you ask something or you fucking drop the elbow which is even worse and they're like and they're snoring yeah I like to sleep or do you know what's even

worse do you know what's worse than trying to drop a nice question when you're having this moment it's when you are like feeling upset by something or like you think that you're on the same page and you need to kind of work through the problems or you're like you're like babe you know I can't got to sleep without sorting this issue we've had a fight about and they're already fucking asleep. You've had a fight. You've had a fight. You're laying in bed stewing with anger and you're like,

I can't possibly sleep until we fix this problem. And then you roll over to be like, hey, honey, can we just talk? Because, like, I can't sleep until. And they're fucking asleep already. They're farting. No issue in their life. Matt, Matt, like we have a fight. He's like, oh, yeah, cozy, rolls over, gives me his back,

wakes up the next morning like it never happened. Yeah. But I'm a talker. I need to like talk it out. I'm like, we have an issue. Let's communicate for hours about the same thing until there's nothing left to say. Well, I think the thing is when I say questions like,

and if you know me, you'll know, I wasn't legitimately asking if he's going to propose. I didn't want the when and the where and the how. That wasn't it. It's more- The validation. It's more that you're wanting to go on the same page. So it's like me saying, babes, do you think about proposing?

He's more like, yeah, I can't wait for that day. It's more to know that you're moving forward in the same wave level. And it's interesting because I honestly believe you are more emotionally in tune than i am like you're so emotionally available and you you're really open and honest with how you feel all the time and that stuff doesn't scare you or make you feel uncomfortable which is why i know i can bring it up but it's funny that in that situation it's like i was scared no but you didn't clock it that i was looking for that i wasn't actually asking the proposal details because i don't want to know that it better be great but i

don't want to know details well it wasn't really a silly question it's just you know how i feel about you it's gonna happen eventually but you know i call you wifey sometimes by accident yeah so i just don't ruin the surprise yeah okay i'll stop asking it needs to come from the heart anyway did you ask her after me having four hours of sleep yeah well i thought i'd get you when you were at your weakest okay i have some quick round questions okay ben what was the very first thing you thought of brit when you met her i thought wow i thought wow beautiful okay for anyone who doesn't know how did you guys meet we met on well we met on a dating app quick fire ben yeah sorry Which one?

Raya. Why were you in the country in the first place? We played a little tournament with my football team. So we came over, played some games. What is Brit's worst habit? Asking silly questions on the couch, probably. I'm not sure about your driving. I drove in with you today.

Oh yeah, he was a bit scared in the car. Yeah, I feel scared in Brit's car as well. Most people do. What, now that you know Brit, is your favorite thing about her? She inspires me to do the best I can do. and final question is how do you level up in comparison to delilah who is getting more time in the bed where has delilah i don't know what you think i do with delilah has delilah been relegated to where does she sit in the pecking order when you are in the house oh she's she's

the she's the top dog yeah yeah she does like you she does like you yeah she's been all over you actually like a rash yeah i took her out this morning yeah yeah she actually listens to me more than she does too it's probably because you're more consistent with her but it's like come here and give you some salmon and you can eat laura's bra oh it's so funny in my dms everyone's now just living for ben so i put a bunch of stories up saying ben's here just yesterday we did some photos around bondi did some stories blah blah blah and then i put some work related stuff up that wasn't ben and the responses i was getting was just like stop that we're here for ben And I was like, oh, my God, no one even cares about me anymore.

They only want to see Ben. They do care about you. They care about your life. And on that, I think the big thing is, is Ben, I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy you get to see what Brit's life is like here and see and get to know more of like what is important to her and also how much you make her happy. It's fucking awesome.

Thank you. Yeah, you make me happy. So thanks for jumping on today, everyone. That is Ben. Ben is actually going to make a little guest appearance and answer some Ask Uncuts next week. So if you have anything, if your boyfriends want to write in any questions or you have any questions that might be more skewed to a male,

send them in to the DMs and just put Ask Uncut for Ben. It is time for Vibe and Unsubscribe before we get into answering all your deep, your dark, and your burning questions. Now, my Vibe for the week is something that has come back to bite me in the ass. You guys might remember a few weeks ago I said that no natural deodorant works and that anyone who wears it actually just stinks and thinks that it works, but it doesn't. Yeah, and we actually got a lot of people writing their choice of deodorants that work.

There was outrage. It was pure outrage. I've never, never known the community to come at me with such backlash. And I did warn you. I was like, people are going to come for you. Natural deodorant lovers are coming for you. People feel very passionately about their natural deodorant. And I think the reason for that is, is because people who have gone through the journey of

natural deodorant, they've seen some things. They've experienced parts of life that none of us have experienced. It's like they've done the purging. They've done the trying. They've tried multiple products. Shit didn't work. They stunk in the office. And then finally they found something that worked for them.

So they feel passionate about it. One of those persons was my girlfriend, Alex. Now she listened to the podcast episode and she was like, how fucking dare you? How dare you speak about natural deodorant? She was like, you're the one who's got aluminium in your armpits. Anyway, it would turn into a whole thing. Was she genuinely offended? No, not really.

But like, you know, she went out and she bought me the one as a present. The one that y'all were talking about. the one that you messaged me hundreds of messages about a natural deodorant and she bought me what is called no pong and it fucking works it is great and it's lavender flavored forgot to mention that ben earlier he's got a hot tip apparently using lavender oil will keep the insects and spiders away yeah um but it also keeps your bo away as well so who would have thought um i've been using it for the past two weeks and i will concede and i think it's okay to admit when you were wrong 100 it works so it not only works well i mean no one's told me that i stink so it might work

it might not i might be one of those natural deodorant people who actually stink and doesn't realize but what i will tell you don't worry what i worry about is not just the smelling part but it's the also the actual perspiring like the wetness so does it stop the smell and the perspiring i'm not a wet person i don't perspire from like i don't get sweaty smelly i just am hormonal i'm a hormonal bitch and i just get stinky you just stink i just stink you have had some pretty hectic days recently though no just in the past well there you go but you've been you've been in your hormonal era since i've known you the kids and yes i have lived my hormonal life the past four years and i'm still on that train i don't know what's my body doesn't know what's

happening to it there's nothing worse than when you smell or your breath smells or something but you don't know it and someone else ends up there's nothing worth yeah ben's vibe was he has this tip and he's convinced it works it's lavender spray you spray on the windowsills and the entrance the doorways he talked about it bringing it over to stop spiders and insects coming in apparently they don't like lavender i thought he was joking he brought it he has sprayed the doorways and he's convinced that it's working so far but i was like babe it's been 24 hours the huntsman's are in here well i think ben's gonna have a really fun time in far north queensland taking my vibe is something a bit different domestic i got a lot of feedback from my ice coffee tray

idea last week people were tagging me at front center laura's convinced i'm making that up i have not seen one reshare of the tagging so until i see a reshare of brit's coffee ice cube tagging then it's yet to be proven yeah but like i said i'm happy to eat my own shit yeah all right guys if you use my coffee hack and you think it's cool write in let us know because laura thinks that i'm depraiding around on my own and no one's used it no i don't you do you're like no one you were like Brittany you thought it was a stupid vibe and then you said no one's using your coffee hack I'm convinced they are I said no one's tagging you which now they will because you've asked them to tag me tag me in your coffee hack my vibe is yeah a domestic vibe it is it actually

came from producer Keisha because we we often send each other our if we get a life hack or something works or a product which is why we dress the same we have the same car same furniture everything's the same in our house but if you have like a really smelly bear with me dishwasher you can just use no pong as well use no pong throw it right in there down the back of the saucepan not sponsored no if you have a really smelly dishwasher or something you can get vinegar and bicarb it's the mix that you put in and you just run it through a wash you can also do in your washing machine it's like god's gift to cleaning you just mix it in a cup and then throw it in your dishwasher yeah make sure when you're doing it also don't just do it off the back of this it's

everywhere on tiktok it's everywhere online at the moment so look it up and make sure it's right for your because i don't want anyone's washing machines blowing up and being like britney vibe to this look it up before you do it but it's a really slow pouring together because remember how when you're at school in science when you put those two things together like you used to do it to make a volcano like it fuzzes up and explodes but it's actually a really good cleaner and a lot of people use it so basically you put in the biocarb soda first into where you would put your laundry detergent you're gonna do a washing machine and then you drip in the vinegar over the period of the cycle correct no one's going to tell me how we're going to do the dishwasher

though hey you gotta throw that shit all at once just throw it all in all in don't put it in with dishes empty cycle it's just a cleaning it's a cleaning product okay also if you're using this tag us laura things that i bring look i'm trying really hard to bring some different things here and somebody and if i can just change one person's life one dishwasher's life my vibe has worked you're a good samaritan just out here all right well speaking of changing people's lives let's actually answer some questions on this episode tag me all right question number one i like this question because i have some very strong opinions on this topic and it's something that no one should have strong opinions on but look i do when flying usually for work like a one hour trip i like to

talk to the person slash stranger in the seat next to me on the plane like i like to have conversation the whole way i was just in sydney this week for work and colleagues commented that this is fucking weird and i should just go to sleep or put my headphones on am i a weirdo for having a chat to the person next to me oh yes yes you are i have okay again do you know why multi-layered multi-layered okay i'm gonna say this okay hit me i hate it i hate it when the person next to me chats because i am stuck there and i have to chat back unless they initiate so like i'll never initiate the chat no absolutely not all i want to do is sleep that is my i am a mom of two kids that is my one hour of me time if my kids are not with me you can guarantee that i am sleeping do

not approach laura burn on a plane if she has no kids she is sleeping you can but just know that i'm gonna go to sleep so don't if you sit next to me don't talk to me the whole flight but the thing is is that you sit down and some people are chatting with chat and then you don't get a chance to go to sleep and then you feel rude to say oh i'm really sorry i'm really tired can i go to sleep as exhilarating as your conversation is i need to nap and then you have to make small talk about why you're going to sydney and what you're doing for the day and what you do for a job and how many kids you have and you're never going to see the person again and i don't know why i'm having this conversation i'm not sleeping that's how i feel about it i understand why like as a

talker myself i understand why people like to talk some people want to make time go faster they're genuinely just curious people they're intrigued maybe they're hitting on you laura take a podcast download before you get on that flight but having said that also don't talk to me on a plane i'm like no and what i mean by that is say hello for sure but i think when you're especially on a long haul plane just you you want to sleep you want to be in your own headspace you want to be watching tv it's a lot of people's only time that they don't have work stresses or kids or other things in their life so they do just want to sit in their own quiet and they're oh i think that's okay or

if you start the conversation five minute max when you're sitting down and you're buckling up and you get you're putting all your stuff away you know when you're getting all your bags organized and your jacket and you're settling in you laura it's when you put your feet up on the seat beside him that's what you're doing in that time yeah that's when i wedge my feet onto the armrest in front which mind you i've seen you do it i have a photo of you doing i have video footage of you doing it you do it. Those little claw things go everywhere. So as much as you hate them talking to you, they probably hate your little feet there. But I think it's one of those courtesy things. Don't over talk to people unless you're really feeling it. And also read the room. They're going to be

giving you body language. If they've turned away and their back is facing you, put an eye mask on, stop talking. Okay. I do think we're taking the piss out of this. And I know that some people will feel differently because there are some people who are just social butterflies. They're extroverted. They love a chat and they very fortunately get stuck next to people or sat next to people who also love a chat. So I know that we are taking the absolute piss, but I think if you are in that situation and you love to talk to the person next to you, there's nothing wrong with that. You are not weird, but I do think that you need to be very attuned to whether or not that other person is enjoying the conversation or are you the one that's asking all the questions and

they're giving you short answers. I think most people are intuitive enough to be able to figure that out totally it's reading the room totally I do think that and I'm sure that you're not someone who's forcing someone into having a conversation with you who doesn't want to but some people are just generally really polite and they may be making small talk without really wanting to be making small talk so like I mean that you just have to be very very attuned to what that other person is doing and I think you know if you get sat next to someone who looks tired and wants to have a nap well I think the key sentence here is I like conversation the whole way like that's quote what you've said that's the way you go wrong the entire trip is probably too much for almost

every human but i have had amazing conversations with people i've been so thoroughly deeply interested in on planes so it really is situational with the person and just trying to read the room how much they're giving you back if they're not giving you a lot back and they sort of keep glancing away just you probably need to end the conversation yeah or if you're the one asking question after question and they're giving you closed answers and not giving you open answers then you know that they're not enjoying it yeah and that's okay okay okay Keisha is sitting across here and she's got her hand up and the reason for that is Keisha ended up having a date on a plane what great place to meet someone but that's the thing it's different read the room if the person

next to you is a smoke show and you're interested and they're interested like that is your time to shine Sophie Monk met her husband on a plane they sat next to each other and started talking by the end of the trip they'll make it out and now they're married yeah wild moves on a plane well I mean, look, it doesn't happen to everyone. Some people just want to sleep. Some people are ready to date. Question number two. I've been with my partner for over two years. We had a difficult relationship from the start and we had so many conflicts. Lately, the conflicts have been really bad and he has told me things like, I don't love you anymore. I'm not attracted to you anymore. And so many other small things like you're too emotional, you're too sensitive,

you talk too much etc when I asked him the question then why don't you break up with me he says well it doesn't feel right we had so many breakup chats but neither of us could do it is it normal to have these type of conflicts and if not why is he not breaking up with me if I'm such a burden what wanker this makes me so sad hearing yeah it's horrible but firstly I want to say you shouldn't be in this relationship this it's absolutely not normal to have these types of conflicts it's not normal to say such hurtful things to someone who you love and just because he doesn't break up with you that is not a big enough reason as to why you should stay in a relationship if anything that is like the lowest common denominator oh well he's not leaving so

I'm not gonna leave he's telling you to your face what he thinks of you and he thinks of your relationship and the fact that you even feel remotely like a burden within your relationship means that you deserve better and you should be with someone who respects you. And I hate for you that you have such little self-worth in your relationship that it comes down to why isn't he leaving instead of the question that you're asking yourself is why am I not leaving? Why am I settling for this? Why am I not taking ownership of this situation and taking control of the situation and leaving? Well, the other layer here is that really grinds my gears is the gaslighting. so firstly he said i don't love you and i'm not attracted to you then you've obviously responded

emotionally which is fair because the person you love have just said all these horrible things to you and then he said you're too emotional and you're too sensitive he's gaslighting your response and telling you that i'm gonna make you feel like a piece of shit and then when you tell me you feel like a piece of shit i'm gonna say why do you feel like a piece of shit like you're overreacting which is a whole nother level to this power trip i don't know what is going on in this relationship well i think that this is when you look at that I mean I know we're only seeing such a small snippet of your relationship we're only seeing such a small snippet of the conflict that you're experiencing but this is to me a very obvious version of coercive control totally making you feel like

you are so insignificant you are so worthless that nobody else would want to date you anyway and that you're the problem in this which you're not you're absolutely not nobody in no respectful or loving relationship would speak to their partner in that way nobody would ever say to their partner, I don't love you anymore, but we should still stay together. And that is such a way of trying to hurt you as much as he can possibly hurt you, but also keep you at the same time. Ultimately, this is not the type of relationship that you want to be in. This is not how you want to be loved. And you said that this has had conflict since the beginning. It's almost like to me, because this has always been a conflict ridden relationship, it's always probably had

these highs and these lows. It has become your normal. It's become your normal to accept this type of behavior. And the fact that you even need to ask the question, is it normal? Tells me that this to you is something that has become so common in every day that you can't see anymore what a good and normal relationship is supposed to be like. And I just hope so much that you break up with this person and spend some time being single or find somebody else who can treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated. Yeah. I think ask yourself, why aren't you breaking up with him? Why aren't you leaving? And why are you putting up with that behavior? Because that's something you've got to figure out to understand why you're still in this position because there doesn't seem

like and I'm just going off what you've said there doesn't seem like there's one aspect or avenue that he actually likes about you and this is going to sound horrible but you've said he has said I'm not physically attracted to you he's also said he doesn't love you and then he has said that you're an annoying human like he doesn't like what's inside either so I'm wondering if he has just belittled you to the point that there doesn't sound like there's anything that is I could be very wrong this is like laura said this is just one tiny part you've sent to us but you've commented on personality and looks and love meaning the future i wonder why you are still in this situation but i also wonder why he's not leaving i think you're both maybe it's out of ease and comfort

because sometimes leaving a situation is so hard if you live together if you've got kids together we don't know those maybe it's because he's a manipulative toxic fuck like i mean sorry that was very but like genuinely who is saying to their partner all of these things and then saying but it doesn't feel right to leave that is just such obscene manipulation and I think one of the reasons why this makes me sad I mean I know I've spoken about it in early days of podcasting but I was in a relationship for six years in my 20s and his everyday response to when I thought we were in a good place I thought things were great he would say I don't see myself marrying you I don't know if I love you and that was six years six years and the reason why I stayed was because

So I was like, well, his actions don't match up to the things that he says. You know, he says he doesn't want a relationship, not relationship, sorry. He says he doesn't see himself marrying me. But I was like, we've been together for six years. Obviously, you're going to change your mind. Of course, we're going to get married. You know, he would say things to me like if I got pregnant and didn't have an abortion, he would leave me.

They were the things he would say to me. Wow. And I was in my 20s and I thought that was normal. And it's so unbelievably not fucking normal. It is so manipulative. It is so hurtful. and it puts you into this state where you constantly crave validation. So you think if I try harder, if I'm prettier, if I'm funnier, if I behave in a way that's more congruent with what

they want, if I'm less annoying, if I'm quieter and all that does is it reduces you down to being a smaller version of yourself and a version that's so worried about making a mistake for fear of their love being taken away and no one should feel like that in a relationship. Yeah and the question here is is it normal to have these conflicts and you've said that you've had a difficult relationship from literally the beginning the conflicts have been there from day one to double down on what Laura said it's not normal but sometimes you don't know what normal is if you haven't had it and the reason I can say that is I was you know you guys know I've been in horrible relationships like Laura as well every sort of relationship I've had with anyone since

then they've all progressively gotten better but every time I've still said oh this is what it should be like yeah yeah and you know now i'm with ben who is a dream in the room he's still here he's a dreamboat but but this is this by far i can say is the healthiest relationship i've ever had and what that has done is make me look back and be like i was so fucking cooked for staying in some of the relationships i was in in the past and putting up with but i didn't know that at the time because I had nothing to compare it to so to answer this it is not normal to have this level of conflict conflict normal yes normal arguments normal ups and downs that's a part of a relationship no two people ever come together and have a beautiful seamless relationship it doesn't exist

and it's not the end of the world it's how you deal with that conflict that really matters do your conflict styles this sort of abuse and I'm going to call it abuse it's a verbal abuse it's control this is not normal no the last thing I want to add to this and it was something that someone asked me when I was in that relationship and it was one of my really good friends. And she said, it was so simple and it was such an easy question and I couldn't answer it. She said, why are you in love with him? What is it about him that you love as a person? And I couldn't answer the question because I love the way I felt about him. I loved my chemistry for him. I loved this thing that I had where I was like, we're going to spend our lives together and he's my

soulmate. But when I actually drilled it down, I didn't love anything about what we shared because it was so not healthy. And I couldn't answer that question properly. And I think you need to ask yourself the same thing. Well, again, it's a situation, right, Laura? Like there's a big part of you that would have loved the fact that you just had someone in case something went wrong, someone to text, someone to talk to, someone to have the makeup sex with. Do you know what I loved? I loved the idea of what I hoped our relationship could be. I loved the imaginary imaginary relationship I had created but when I actually unpacked the relationship I was in I was always trying to push it to be this thing in the future and it never ever was that you know

it was six years of hope it was six years of thinking well if we just get through this thing and I just fix this our relationship will be there and it never ever gets there that's the thing people fall in love with the potential of who someone can be not who they show you that they are right now well I hope we answer that and I'm really like it makes me really sad that you're in this situation but I think you deserve better to take control absolutely yeah all right on to a very light one question number three do you think it is unreasonable to be told what to wear to a hens I understand having a theme but on top of paying for accommodation activities and drinks I now have to buy an outfit that I will likely never ever wear again to fit a specific

theme is this asking too much I think it's pretty standard I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say themes for hens are probably a thing. One of my best friends went to a hens last weekend and it was a theme. They all dressed up. It was like 90s pop styles or something. Also, sometimes it's not the bride's fault. Sometimes the bride doesn't even know that the theme is happening. It's the other bridesmaids who are organizing it. And a lot of themes, unless it's like Versace theme, a lot of themes are like, it costs you less to buy a dress up outfit than it does to sometimes buy a proper outfit that you might love to wear. I'm going to say it's pretty normal. And it's one of those things I don't know how you get out of. If you've been invited to the hens and it's a

theme and there's enough time, I don't think you can go not in theme. I think you've got to be a good sport. So I don't know what the answer is. Okay. I think it is an unfair expectation. I think weddings are expensive. I think hens are wildly expensive. And I think if you are in the position of being a bridesmaid, then you're fucked because it is so expensive. Because on top of that, you've got to buy wedding presents. You've probably got to get to their destination wedding. Like There's so many layers for celebrating somebody else's wedding and it does cost so much money. When it comes to a dress-up theme for a hens,

you don't have to lean in so hard that you are like, you know, dressed from head to toe in an inflatable dinosaur. You can just wear a headband. You can like wear a collar. That's what I was going to have as my hens. We're all going as inflatable dinosaurs. But you can lean in as hard or as little into a themed costume party as you want.

You could just put on some face paint. like genuinely I think that you can do a theme or do dress up a costume in the most budget way possible yes it's just kind of like tokenistic okay well I tried a little bit I think if you come dressed in absolutely nothing and haven't paid any attention to the theme then there's probably this feeling of like okay you're gonna stand out like a sore thumb but if you if you try with the smallest bit of energy in the most cost-efficient way I think that that is absolutely fine yeah like even just the the sparkly cowboy hat for an example like you've got a plain black outfit you put a hat on if it's a cowboy theme like as long as you've done one little thing to

contribute otherwise you also stand out like a sore thumb like if everyone there is dressed up but i think it's one of those things now you know what even if you do stand out as at the sore thumb like if you don't care it doesn't matter like i guess it's not about you in this situation right it's which is why it's tricky because i think it's really hard and like when you just got into the wedding conversation Laura it's really hard when you're in a bridal party or really close to the bride and the groom and there's these expectations that you do have to turn up and front up this money and get this dress and go that's different but I think it's a pretty standard thing for hens to have themes okay well I mean my sister who organized my hens she had the theme of

everyone wearing a bright color which I didn't know until I got there everyone wore a bright color but like if someone rocked up in monochrome stripes I'm not going to be like fuck you didn't adhere to the theme i'd be like thank god you're still here do you know i just think if you absolutely can't afford it and don't want to do a theme i don't know if you are like so firmly against it the biggest thing is you being there you being and partaking in it i think is the bride is going to care the most about she's going to be so litty city she's not going to know anyway totally i think you can do it in like a very cheap way i don't think we have to do this in the most expensive way possible okay well i will take note of that laura burn if i don't look up to the theme

what would be the theme of your hands i don't know well i don't what would be my theme i think blow up dicks everywhere yeah i was gonna say it could be like a dress like britney theme but everyone would just come in beige everyone would come in oh it could be like a laugh like britney and you can wear whatever you want but you have to contribute a laugh and whoever gets the closest wins everyone would dress up like a kookaburra okay too far too soon too far that review's never are gonna okay guys you might not know this we got a review once which said that britney's laugh sounds like a kookaburra i'm not being mean and i was you know it was it was you guys it was one of you who wrote it in and you were mean so one of you threw that it was no one of you threw that

at me in a review to hurt my feelings you were trying to say it was an annoying kookaburra laugh which okay my laugh isn't for everyone no it is for everyone but what i will say is jokes on you because a kookaburra is a beautiful national animal. It's also the biggest kingfisher in the world. Okay, yes, that's a compliment. I am a huge kingfisher with a great laugh. No, it is funny. That was a funny review.

But, yeah, I laugh like a kookaburra. I own it. So that is my hen's theme. All right, well, that is it from us, guys. If you love the episode, you can jump on in and leave us a review. Please don't review Brit's Laugh unless it's to say that it's fucking awesome because we know it is. And also you can join us on the socials.

Join us at Life Uncut Podcast. You can join the Facebook group, which is Life Uncut Discussion Group. and we'll be back next week with a freaking amazing episode that Keish and Britt did with Sarah Wilson from I Quit Sugar. Yeah, Laura was out of action. She was covered in way down in glitter. I was off doing the cha-cha, guys, but I have heard it and it is phenomenal.

Keisha and I did an interview with none other than Sarah Wilson who you may or may not remember. She was the founder of I Quit Sugar and she went on to sell her whole entire company, donate everything to charity. She lives an amazing, incredible, minimalistic life. She speaks a lot about dating as an old woman. She's, I mean, self-proclaimed cougar. She dates a lot of younger men and she has great reasons for that.

She's incredibly interesting, incredibly intelligent, and I thoroughly frothed this episode and I think you guys will too. So that is coming up on Tuesday. Now don't forget, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love them! We'll be right back.