Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Can we stop with speaking your truth

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Hey Lifers,Welcome to your weekly unpacking of dilemmas.Today we kick things off by unpacking whether the whole 'speaking your truth' and being brutally honest can actually be cruel. "No offence but" doesn't always translate. Vibe or unsubscribe this week:Laura - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery on NetflixBritt - Hands free dog leash https://notyourregularpet.com/collections/handsfreeThen we jump into your questions!I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I am trying to decide on baby names. There is one name that I have loved for years (literally), I had it written down in my notes from 2017 - because I mean, who doesn’t have a list of baby names they love? My best friend’s sister had a baby 18 months ago and named the baby the name I have loved since 2017. I see my best friend’s sister and her baby often… is it bad if I still go ahead and use this name even though I’ll see her and her baby often? … the spelling would be different but it would be the same name. Should I ask her if she’s okay with it?I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have not had sex in weeks. Prior to this we had a very healthy sex life. I’ve brought it up multiple times with him and he’s said that’s it’s difficult to have sex with me when I have such a big tummy. He tries to reassure me by saying I’m beautiful but it’s hard to be sexually attracted to me. I’ve suggested we try other positions where my belly isn’t visible to him which he says “yeah we can try” but still nothing. I also know he often masturbates. It’s already hard to see my body going through all these changes but to also feel undesired by my husband hits even harder. Is it normal for your partner to not want to be intimate with you at this stage in pregnancy? I worry that if we don’t have sex until after the 6 weeks baby is born that there’s going to be an immense pressure on it. I don’t know what else I can do to encourage him - it also is a massive hit to my confidence every time I get shut down for sex.As businesswomen who work incredibly hard, how do you deal with the haters trying to bring you down? I have a business that is pretty successful. I work hard 7 days a week and put my heart and soul into it. Yet one negative review, or people trying to slander our name, and I can’t get it out of my head. How do you cope?If you have a question that you'd like us to unpack, send it in to @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut, where we answer all your deep, your dark, and your burning questions.

You have said to me this morning, well, hey, I was an hour and a half late. I'm sorry. It was really bad traffic. I know. No, Brittany. Because we all left early, and we all got here, and you arrived an hour late. The traffic was not that bad. It was bad, but it was not an hour bad.

I would... Put my life on Delilah that I left. What time did you leave? At 7 minutes to 8 and it usually takes me 40 minutes max. That's not enough time to get here. Always. I've been doing this for 18 months. Even Keisha's like, that is late.

You left late. The GPS tells you that. It took me an hour and a half. There were three accidents along the way. Do you know what? At peak hour in the morning, I would have to say that 40 minutes is not enough time because it took me an hour and 10 and I always leave an hour. But you know, we can fight about them.

Yeah, but you also live 20 minutes further away from me. we can okay anyway that's a great argument you did tell me now that i am here that you have a story to tell me i do i do have a story i love that i save them up or like whenever we have a story that we think is going to be semi-interesting we're like i can't tell you because i need to tell you in real time on the podcast 100 so we interviewed recently we're doing a bonus episode every month that's coming up it is going to be oh we haven't named it yet we don't know what it's called, but it is basically an interview with one member from our Life Uncut community. Yeah, I think we just go like Life is Uncut or something.

There we go. We've got bonus episodes of Life is Uncut coming. So what we wanted to do basically is highlight the key and like really influential people who are in the Facebook group. It's the Life Uncut discussion group, people who are super proactive, who have really interesting stories, and we're going to be interviewing one person, one community member, one lifer a month. anyway we did our very first record on monday with carly sofia if you were part of the facebook group you will know exactly who carly is if you're not part of the facebook group and you don't know who carly is you need to join the facebook group so carly is fucking hilarious one of the jobs that she does is that she reviews sex toys wild so she comes to the interview hang on let's not brush

over that what a job what a job imagine you're you're being paid to masturbate so good and And to really, not just to masturbate, but to masturbate to a level of like you've got to really try to get everything out of that product. So you've got to really like honing. You've got overtime. You're getting paid. You're like, I'm sorry, it took me an extra hour today. I'm going to charge an hour overtime because your product didn't get me there quick enough.

But then she's also imparting the wisdom on the general population about which are the best toys and which ones to steer clear of. So clearly. She's doing God's work. She is doing God's work. Yes. She is a good woman. And that's why we wanted to speak to her.

But also, I mean, speaking of her being a good woman, she came to the interview and she brought Britt and I a vibrator, right? No one has ever turned up to an interview before. Sometimes people will bring in like their book or like a coffee. We've even had a cake once. Someone brought us a cake, which was really nice. That was Bec Brown. Oh, yeah, she brought brownies.

She brought brownies, which is punny now that we say that. It's because they're the Bec Brown brownies. I'm pretty sure it is because it's part of – Brownies, yeah. So is that why she did it? That's fine. Maybe she did it for brownie points. Oh, my God, this brown inception.

okay so we've had little bits and pieces before but I've never been brought a dildo vibrator suction all in one yes so Brit got given a really beautiful big vibrator right like I named it the flamingo yeah it looks like a vibrator it I'm sure it does all the things a vibrator does it acts like it acts like a vibrator I'm glad that you're giving it a test run I on the other hand got given a vibrator which looks like a cheese knife and could be potentially used it kind of looks like a cross between a medical device and a salad server yours looks like a weapon you know what it makes me think of when i look at it which i've always wondered how they do it you know the kardashians have those ridiculously long nails and i've always thought how do they masturbate

do they masturbate or how do you do anything how do you even open a car door tie a shoelace put a whatever but I've always wondered about the masturbation and your toy because that's how I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about the Kardashians masturbating not how do you wash your children in a bath but how do you masturbate it shows where I am in my life right now but your toy reminds me of that because it's just got this really wildly dangerous looking point and I don't know what you do it have you figured it out so okay it's got a point it's called for pointed pleasure I took it out of the bag it was valentine's day and I took it like I'm feeling it No, I took it out of my handbag. I was going to work and I said to Matt, I was like, oh,

look what I got given at the interview yesterday. Look what I got given. And I pull out the vibrator and I put it on the kitchen table. Anyway, I completely forgot because I've not met her yet. We have this woman who comes to our house on a Tuesday, every Tuesday, and she helps with things like meal prepping for the kids, like doing things around the house that aren't cooking and cleaning, but things to like help me with my workload. She's there to help you. She's there to help me. Her name is Michelle. Michelle seems like a lovely woman. I have not yet met her. Anyway, she comes in and she's chatting away to Matt and she's cleaning up the kitchen and she picks up the vibrator and she's like, what's this? And so then Matt awkwardly

has to be like, oh, he's like, it's so Laura does this podcast. They talk about sex. It's a vibrator, but we haven't used it. Anyway, he goes through the thing that happens a little funny. He calls me tells me we have a laugh about it. Half an hour later, she has just done the washing and she's taking the washing into the bedroom and she walks in. Matt has forgotten that in the morning before I left for work, he made me film this absolutely fucking stupid Valentine's day skit where he scattered rose petals over the bed and put up a ring light and also had another dildo on the floor. And she walks in and there's the bedroom set up. Like we've been recording soft porn and she walks out and she was like i don't i don't think that this was for your job and then

there's like some nappies in there as well she's like why because we're doing child play now like what are we doing we're really into age play i like man to dress up and call me mommy that is actually so funny because you know that it was almost possible right the salad server in the kitchen for the first vibrator possible but you can't come back from when you walked in with the ring light and filming with the dildos. How do you explain the bedroom setup? How do you explain that? I just don't just say it was a wild night. Or just say it was Valentine's day. Happy Valentine's day, everybody. Well, it's funny because we, I mean, you guys haven't heard the episode yet. It was coming out in a couple of weeks, but a part of

that was discussing sex toys and the effect it has on men when they think that they can never be enough. If a woman uses a vibrator or a dildo, because they think, how am I ever going to keep up? Like whether it's emasculating for some men. So I, same thing. We got home from that day and i was on facetime to ben and i was like look what i got today because it was exciting we got a gift and it was a beautiful flamingo vibrator dildo so i held it up and he was like wow he's like that looks like it does a lot because it has like a clitoral suction thing and then it scoops around in a circle into the insertion dildo part so it's like there's a lot going on it literally does everything at once it's like a robo vacuum it's like you're having an orgy but with a vibrator

so I showed him and I was like yeah it does it's got this thing on the clitoris and I think that bit vibrates and then it's an air suction as well and then it curves around and then that's the dildo part but the dildo vibrates too and he I could see his brain going over and he said the same thing he said oh you're probably never going to enjoy sex with me again but men don't know it he's like but not like a serious thing sort of like a oh well like a throwaway like well there we go like how are us men supposed to keep up with this contraption and I said won't somebody think of the man think of the man and I said the same thing to him I said we spoke about this today men have no idea I think anyway my opinion is you can have all the bells and whistles on a

contraption to masturbate and get off but there will be nothing ever in my eyes that will replace sex with someone you love the moment everything that comes with the sex like you could have you can have these little things that Madonna used to put on her nipples that like swivel around and stuff you know the windmill nipples yeah you could have everything nipple tassels nothing's going to replace, for me, great sex with someone you love? I don't think nipple tassels are going to replace great sex for anybody. No, I just really want to try them out. Interesting you say that though, because playing devil's advocate, and now we're just like completely going off script here, but playing devil's advocate to that point, right? That

nothing would replace it. I know that we laugh at the whole idea that a man might think that a vibrator or a dildo could replace the real thing. But it's interesting though, because on the flip side, as women, a lot of times, you know, porn does replace real sex. Masturbation does replace real sex. It is something that can be a problem. So I wouldn't say that you could completely rule out the idea that someone could be enjoying using vibrators more than the real thing. That could happen in some people's relationships. Is it a great fear that men should go to sleep with at nighttime? No. But I think if we're going to entertain things like, you know, men masturbating too much men watching too much porn men doing things outside the relationship that then affects

what happens between you as a couple I would go as far as to say that it shouldn't be gendered it could happen to women as well absolutely I have a friend she's I want to say recovered I guess it is because it was an addiction she had a porn addiction you don't hear about it from like a female so I usually only hear about men and she's really open with me about it she had a proper porn addiction or she wanted to watch in the morning when she woke up at night time all different sorts she just couldn't start to get off without it and it started to affect her like she was in a relationship I mean I think the addiction started when she was single then she went to a relationship and at the start it was fun because they were doing things together that they

saw on the porn like let's try it like this let's watch it while we have sex and in a new relationship that's great but it started to get to the point where she said I can't get off properly now if I'm just having sex with my partner because of everything I've seen and felt otherwise, which isn't real, right? Like these are productions and performances, but it changed her expectations. So she had to go cold turkey. She had to quit and like porn detox. And then the relationship got 10 times better. Yeah. I mean, it's a topic that we've wanted to talk about for quite a long time, but we need to find the right person to talk about it is porn addiction because it is a very real thing. And I think it affects many people. Okay.

but before we get into answering questions, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about. And I know that you will have no idea what I'm talking about because you do not watch maths, but something happened on last night's episode and I have feelings and I kind of want to get your input on this. So there's a couple on the show called Shannon and Caitlin. I mean, everyone that listens to the pod knows I'm not a maths person like you. Is he the Russell Brand one? No, no, no, no. You're thinking of Jesse. No. So Shannon is, he kind of looks like a bit of surfer boy I would say like a reformed surfer boy with short hair basically the big scandal with him

last week was that he had said to Caitlin I'm still in love with my ex and then when he was on the couch at the commitment ceremony the love experts were grilling him on like well why did you come into this experiment if you just have slept with your ex like the week before the show like it doesn't make any sense even though he has said I'm still in love with my ex I don't have feelings for Caitlin yet, he chooses to stay in the experiment. Yeah, because Instagram followers. To making Instagram followers. You've got to be committed to those followers.

You can't leave that early. He's committed to growing his Instagram account. I mean he's committed to her as well. Yeah, absolutely. I mean so obviously. So anyway, this week it is intimacy challenges. During the intimacy challenges, obviously Shannon is not feeling it because he doesn't want to be with Caitlin and he's not there

with pure intentions. but at the end sorry that was my shock horror yeah I thought so basically what happens is he brutally rejects Caitlin after these intimacy challenges he says to her I think you're an attractive girl but not to me okay now I have some feelings about this whole conversation because there's some issues in terms of being honest and being cruel right like they're two different things but he says more so I want to play that audio for you the attraction is low you are a good-looking girl just but not in my eyes i thought you were going to come down that aisle yeah and completely blow me away because i honestly those things that i was saying about

x whatever i wouldn't have even contemplated i'm saying that i just would have just cut it completely forgotten like that stuff shouldn't have even been an issue so this is my question Brett and I know that there's a lot of people who are up in arms on social media about this but where is the line between being honest and telling someone how you feel and being just fucking mean oh I mean like how long's a piece of string I think it's a lot in the delivery I think it's a lot in the situation I think we take advantage of the words no offense but totally like this setup of just saying I don't want to offend you but I'm about to offend you that doesn't negate the fact that you're about to completely tear someone's heart out I understand the concept

of what he said in terms of if you just told me the sentence he said if I didn't see it I hadn't heard everything else I understand the concept of being able to say you're a beautiful person but I'm not overly attracted to you but I can recognize you're a beautiful person I've been in situations like that before where I'm like this human is so attractive but I don't have the attraction. And that could be because something else is missing. It could be because the personality or the humor or morals or whatever it is. So I understand why he feels like that. I think that's common, but I don't understand the need to deliver it in the way he delivered it and the expectation he has put on her to fix his problems. Like you can't say to someone, I came in here loving

someone else and I thought you'd be so hot that I wouldn't love them anymore, but you're not that hot also just how unbelievably superficial that like your hotness was supposed to dissolve my love for my ex that's what it was supposed to do and how much of an amazing person I am what about everything I'm doing what about yeah I think that he's a bit of a twat for that well this made me think about something else and I mean it's a little bit of a tangent but bear with me I do think we see it more and more at the moment this whole conversation around like I'm just telling my truth I'm speaking my truth I mean instantly I think of Prince Harry and the whole like this is me speaking my truth and it made me question there is an importance in this idea like

it is important for people who maybe are from minority groups maybe people who have felt that they haven't had a platform to speak their truth but I think it's been taken advantage of and people use it on an individual level to say things that they feel and think that are potentially quite mean but are actually not the truth it may be their truth but just because you perceive something to be true, our memories of situations, our feelings towards things can actually really hugely shape what we and how we interpret a situation. It doesn't mean just because it's your truth doesn't make it the truth. And someone saying, I'm just being authentic. I'm being my authentic self. So this is what I'm going to say. There is a difference. I'm all for

people speaking their truth and being authentic and saying how they feel. But you still do that with it coated in respect. You still want to deliver this, not to knock somebody down and rip their heart out and make them feel belittled. You can still deliver your truth in a way that is respectful. If you know you're going to absolutely hurt someone's feelings, why say it? What are you going to get from it? This is what I think. Sometimes not saying anything is the best thing that you can do. I just think there are too many people now taking these terms for advantage that no offense, the speaking my truth, being my authentic self. I just think there are a lot of people that are stretching that too far. It makes me think of, so back in 2018, Oprah Winfrey said

this at the Golden Globes. She said, I encourage everyone to speak their truths, right? And I think like from then it has kind of really escalated in how we communicate. This whole idea of like speaking your truth has become quite a common sentence. Oprah said I can say whatever I want. Yeah. But Oprah told me to. But Oprah told me to speak my truth. It has over time, like I think originally it had such good intentions. It was this powerful message of like, if you are the underdog, if you have been in a situation where maybe like collectively something is happening, we all know what's happening, but no one is speaking out, i.e. the Me Too movement, i.e. Black Lives Matters movement. In these instances, the idea of speaking your truth

is very important. But I think over time it's been weaponized and people use it on an individual level where they say, well, I'm speaking my truth, even though, yes, they may be speaking how they feel, they may be speaking what they think. One, it's fucking mean. And two, it doesn't make it the truth, which I think is a really interesting and important way of kind of unpacking where we've gotten to with this sentence and statement. So how did it end up? Obviously there was this really offensive, rude moment. They don't want to be together, but they're obviously going to stay and work it out. At the moment when this was all unfolding, she looked truly shocked. Like she was just kind of a bit mute at the start. And then she went outside and had her voxy moment where

she was speaking to camera and she was so upset. She was literally visibly shaking. And then she went inside and she had a real powerful moment where she was like, you know, you don't need to like me. You don't need to love me, but you need to respect me. I think she recognized exactly what was going on here. And I think that it can kind of go two ways in those moments. You can have someone say horrible things to you and you can walk away from it going, I wish I had said this, but because you're so shocked in the moment, you're not able to verbalize yourself and it was almost like she walked away composed herself got to think about what she wanted to say and then she went back inside and ripped him a fucking new one and so

did the rest of australia but they're still gonna work it out i don't know i feel like well you can't leave until commitment ceremony so that we've got to wait till sunday it's no wild that we have a show like that where it's like oh you're trapped here in this toxicity because you can only live on a sunday it's fucking cool and also it makes me think surely not right like channel nine can't handcuff them to the bed if they want to leave legally they can leave they have to be even if their contract says they can't if you're not happy in a situation if it's causing you know issues to your mental health putting undue stress on you and you want to go they can't make you not go i tried to leave two different reality shows and i was allowed to go but i was

talked off the ledge so they're never gonna handcuff you there it's not the hunger games like You don't have to sit there and fight to the death and you're not allowed out. But there is a part of it and I understand to an extent because we only see, we've spoken about it, we only see 12 minutes, half an hour of days' worth of non-stop filming. There's a lot of other stuff that goes on that we'll never understand.

So I always want to give benefits of the doubt where we can because you don't know the full story. Totally. And there's also a level of, well, I've come this far and I've invested this much and I've given up this much on the outside to come here, maybe I will just. Write it into the Instagram followers. Write it into the followers, yeah.

Like write it into the blue tick. You're like, I'm going to get something out of this. If it's not a relationship, it's going to be a promo. It's going to be a free holiday. Okay, well, I wanted to jump in with this week's recommendations, a vibe and unsubscribe. I am telling you, Brittany Hockley, go and watch The Glass Onion. It's fucking great.

You've been writing me saying all my vibes are not hot takes Glass Onion has long gone, Laura. Is it? Yes. I thought it was new. Hang on. Did you watch one or two? The Glass Onion's a movie.

Yeah, there's two separate ones. The Glass Onion, are you talking about the one on the island recently? I was going to say Craig David on Monday with Daniel Craig. I reckon everybody's head goes there. Every time I see Daniel Craig, I'm like, oh, yeah, Craig David. Is that what you're talking about, the island one? Yeah. You're making me feel stupid.

No, because it is a sequel. There is another one that he was in a year or two ago and it's the same thing. But this is new, right? Yeah, that's in December last year. So it's three months old, but still hot take. Great. Okay. It's a bit of an old take.

What I want to say to you is if you loved that, the first one is 10 times better. No. Because I'd watched the first one. Does the first one have Kate Hudson in it though? No. Oh, fuck. I just love Kate Hudson. She's so good.

And she's so much like her mum now, Goldie Hawn. It's like, okay, so you know White Lotus. You know the idea of it, how one character is taken over into the next series and it's like a flow on. It's the same thing. So it's set in a house and it's a murder mystery kind of a thing. It's really cool. It's really good.

And I love that you're recommending it to me now. And Craig David, Daniel Craig, he's the character that flows on into The Glass Onion too. He's a detective in the first one as well. Right. The first one, because I was pumped for the second one because I loved the first one so much. if you loved the second island one you're gonna froth city the first one because for me the first one the first one shat all over the second one and I liked the second one but the first one's

10 times better so if anyone is joining the Laura train and thinks that this is the first one that's come out this is my hot take recommendation glass onion can you get back to me next week I want to know what you think of the first one I probably won't watch it I don't have enough time to watch tv so this was like an anomaly I watch and I was like wow this is cool this reminds me of white anyway, I feel really dumb now. No, don't feel silly because it's not called Knives Out. It's a different thing, but it's the same character. If you have not watched Glass Onion, highly recommend. That's all I'm going to say. Okay. My vibe are unsubscribe. I don't have an unsubscribe, but my vibe this week, if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know. I've been talking

about it a lot. If you don't follow me on Instagram, Brittany, I have a new obsession with a hands-free dog leash, like dog walking leash. It just wraps in a little belt, like around your waist. Now look, I don't look cool at all. It's not, well, maybe it is cool. Maybe I'm going to make it cool. I don't feel cool, but it is life-changing. How does it feel when you're getting walked by your dog? Cause you don't walk your dog, your dog walks you. Well, it seems to control her more. I don't know why. Maybe because it's a consistent level of tautness. So she seems to just understand that that's how it is now. So it's only, it's only happened once where she reacted to something and went to run. I nearly fell down

to fly to stairs because she ran really fast. So if you're frail, brittle and old, please don't use the body leash. But what it can do now, it goes around your waist and you just walk. So I drink coffee, have a croissant, talk on the phone. My hands are free and it's life changing. I feel like if you have kids or a pram or anything, or you just want to be like me and eat on the run, it's life changing. So that's my hot take. And I'm not, I'm subscribing from anything this week. It's been a good week. It's been a good week. Yeah. All right. Let's get into the questions. All right. Question number one. I've just found out I'm pregnant and I'm trying to decide on baby names. There is one name that I have loved for years, literally years. I had it written down

in my notes from 2017 because I mean, who doesn't have a list of baby names that they love? My best friend's sister had a baby 18 months ago and named the baby the name that I have loved since 2017. I see my best friend's sister and her baby pretty often. Is it bad if I still go ahead and use this name even though I'll see her and the baby often. The spelling would be different but at the end of the day the same name. Should I ask her if it's okay? Can I just do it? Do I need a new name? I have what I think is an unpopular opinion because I think most people care a lot about baby names right? For the general consensus from friends and family that I've spoken to people seem to care a lot about and feel very protective over the baby names that they choose

with their children. I couldn't give a fuck. So if I had a daughter and called her Marley May. Yes, I couldn't care. Marley May. If you want to copy me, that's on you. That's not a reflection of me. That's just weird for you.

If I had two kids and I called them Marley May and Lola Derby, I wouldn't care. I honestly, of course a part of me would be like, that's a weird flex. Weird, Brittany, but okay. And then you start to make out with Matt and I'm like, are you trying to have my life? Like what's going on here?

That escalated quickly. I honestly don't care. now I know that I am not the majority I understand that and I'm okay with that right my answer is we all need to care less you can name your kid whatever you want to name your kid yes you may see your friend's sister often you may see your friend's sister's baby often but are those two children going to be best friends are they going to play together are they going to go to the same school the same family events like also I think the other question you need to ask yourself is is the name so obscure? Like if it's Lavender Tweedle Bay, then I'd go, sure, probably don't

name it because people are going to think you copied. But if it's Sarah or Stella or Ava or Iva or bloody Marley May now, like just whatever, go for gold. I just don't think it's as big a deal as what we make it out to be. I disagree. I know that I'm the anomaly. I think most people would. I disagree with the reason. I think there's parameters that you need to look at. I think if it's a really close friend family member or someone you see a lot that you know is going to be in your life and the age difference is small I would probably if there's another name you love I would probably go for that but at the end of the day it is your child and that child is going to live a very very long life and if you love the name for that child you do whatever you want

if there's no other name in history that tickles your fancy if you really don't want to do lavender tickle brush or whatever you said, Laura. Lavender tickle bay. Tickle bay. If you don't want to do lavender tickle bay and you only love Sarah, do Sarah. It doesn't matter. Probably preempt it and let them know it's going to happen. Actually, this is an example and I was a lot younger. So it's as close as an example as I can give you in my life. I had a dog. I feel like there's no truer sentence for me. I had a dog and I called her Mia. And then 18 months later or two years and like my dog now everyone that knows Delilah you know how obsessed I am I've been like that forever so my dog she was a border collie she came everywhere with me

everywhere we surfed together we kayaked we ran she came to the shops everywhere everyone knew her and my friend got a dog 18 months later a working dog and she called it Mia and I was like that's just so weird I was like that's my dog's like why very convenient though if you're at the park you're like hey Mia and then all the dogs come great I remember just thinking like I didn't care enough that I wasn't gonna say anything but I remember my thought and I'm talking this is like 15 years ago my thought was like there are so many names why did you call but she just really loved the name and it's not like the dogs go to school together and the dogs don't know that there's the same name like I understand that that thought was stupid but I

can only imagine it's intensified a hundred times for people that their best friends are calling their kids the same name well I definitely don't think the thought is stupid because I would say like of course I say I don't care I would still think like for example if you called your kids Marley and Lola of course I'm gonna think that's fucking weird but is it gonna affect our friendship is it gonna change the way I feel about you is it gonna make me love your kid any less no like that and that's what I mean by I won't care like of course there's gonna be a part of me that's like that's a weird option but it's not gonna change a good friendship and nor is it gonna make me resentful or angry I do think that they're probably and like to unpack it a little bit more

rather than being just kind of like, don't care, do whatever you want. I think that there are probably different situations where one is more favorable than the other. So for example, if it's a name, like you say that you've had since 2017, you've loved it, you've had it as your name, you're really attached to it. I think that that is a very different situation when you choose the same name rather than, for example, say you are pregnant and someone says to you, oh, this is a name I wanted to name my child, or this is the name I had in mind. And it gives you the idea of like, oh yeah, that's a really pretty name. That's a different thing. Like if you're inspired by someone else's name because they've said it, or, you know, you've come in contact with it during

your pregnancy, that's a really different attachment than to something that you have kind of, cause like a lot of women, actually a lot of people in general, they will have like little fantasies about having a girl or a boy and what they're going to name their child, what their family's going to look like. And so if you've created this attachment years prior, trying to get over that name and not be attached to it and name them something else just because you don't want to offend someone I think like fuck it just name the kid whatever's going to make you happy it happened in my family literally two weeks ago so everyone that knows my sister Sherry Sheridan what you probably don't know but her nickname her entire life everyone in our

family calls her that and even the extended family her nickname is bear it always has been bear bearzy my dad started it when she was a little kid and now my brother had a baby two weeks ago and called it bear. And Sherry had this moment where she called me. She's like, is it weird? They called it my name. And I was like, well, your name's not, I was like, your name isn't bear. Your nickname is bear. And she's like, I know, but I have this weird attachment to it. Like I'm bear. And I'm like. And now no one's going to call her bear anymore because they're going to call the baby bear. That's what she feels like. She feels like, because that bear's way cuter. Like it's a newborn baby. It's cuter than Sherry who's

33 and married and bear's not as cute anymore. Sherry, we think you're cute. Don't worry. I think you're so cute, Sherry. But it's funny because she's like, she didn't actually care, but she said she had a moment too, where she's like, they called it my name. Look, I think in conclusion, have we helped you? Probably not. But I think it comes down to you assessing how one offended you think your friend's sister is going to be. Do you think she's going to be really offended? Is it going to affect your friendship? Is it going to turn into this huge problem? And if the answer is look, probably not. She might just think it's a bit weird and then she's going to get over it, then I would say, don't worry about it. Because sometimes

we create issues and make them way bigger in our mind than what they actually are. But if you know that it's going to be an issue, then, you know, reassess. Okay. My final question for you, so we can wrap it up for this girl is, now that you've said, I tried to wrap. No, but now that you've said that, do you think that she should go to her and give her a heads up that she's going to call it that? Or do you think she just does it? I think that there's nothing wrong with saying, I don't think you're going to ask for permission. I think you're going to go and say, look, I hope this isn't uncomfortable for you. I have had lavender, whatever it is, on my list for the last five years.

It's a name that I'm really attached to and I would love to be able to call my daughter it. I hope that that's not going to be an issue for you. And if she turns around and says, it's a massive issue, I'm so upset, blah, blah, blah, then the problem is you have to deal with that and then make a decision as to what's more important, you know, her reaction. But most people, 99% of people will not react that adversely.

They might be like, oh, that's a bit weird. in which case you can be like, yeah, I know. I'm sorry. That's a bit weird for you. I hope you get over it, but that's the name. Yeah. Sherry just messaged the group chat and said, so stoked you named him after me. Cute. Exactly. And that can be your little thing that you guys have for the rest of now and forever. All right. Okay. Next question is, as a business woman who works incredibly hard, how do you deal with haters trying to bring you down? I have a business that is pretty successful. I work hard seven days a week and put my heart and soul into it. Yet one negative review or people trying to slander our name and I can't get it out

of my head. How do you cope with the negativity? Is it to us personally? Is that to me? This is actually something I think relates or resonates with us, Laura. It's something that we've done. Wait, I have one for you. Just so we all. Let's not highlight our negative reviews. Well, you know what? We all know that there's good ones. Here's the most recent negative one. It's about me. Don't worry, Brit. Enjoy this podcast, but Laura needs to, and then I can't read the rest because it cuts off.

And then it says, I do enjoy this podcast, but I'm finding lately that Laura is constantly sharing views, which are clear digs at Brit and her choices. It's just super odd and comes off a bit gross to listen to. Brit seems very unaware. You're aware now though, right, Brit? I was unaware until now. Yeah. Also, which adds to the grossness.

I hope Laura stops this and it gets back on track soon so that the podcast can get back on track. That is wild because everyone that knows us, and you guys, I hope that most of you know us, Laura and I are like best friends. We're like sisters. And also our life, it goes far beyond what we speak about on this one-and-a-half-hour podcast.

You know, we know fucking everything about each other. Yeah, probably too much. The deep, the dark, and the wonderful. And we truly love each other. So sometimes we might take the piss out of each other because we genuinely want to take the piss out of each other. Like we just want to have a bit of fun and it's lighthearted. And neither of us ever take what the other says to heart.

And you know what? I read this out because I'm like, I know that this is one that obviously paints me in bad life, but we've received, we've received both sides of it, but you know what? We love each other and we are such good friends. And sometimes we will get reviews where one person will be defending the other person on behalf of, and if anything, whenever I've read them about you before, where people have said, you know, Britt's been mean to Laura or she's had a dig. It makes me upset that people listen to that and then will pit against each other.

Like that we have some beef that doesn't exist. And I think that that's probably one of the biggest things when I've read reviews before where I'm like, fuck, I hate that that's been misinterpreted or I hate that someone might think that, but what's most important to me is what you think and what I think of you ultimately, which is I adore you and think you are the fucking brilliant. So I guess for us personally, if this is a personal question, and I mean this from Tony May business, also from Life Uncut, it doesn't matter what you do in life. There is always going to be some negativity.

You cannot make everybody like you. And especially when it comes to business, you might give the best fucking customer service. You might try your absolute hardest. And I know like with Tony May, we work so hard and have done for 15 years to give the best products, the best service. But you know what? Sometimes things go wrong and people will be unhappy. And it's how you manage that.

What I think is a really important part of your question is the fact that you say it upsets you so much. Like you think about it all the time. That just shows how much you care, what an excellent businesswoman you are and how your business is going to thrive into the future because you care what people think about you. It's the age old saying, someone else's trash is another treasure. And I think it goes like, it's age old, it's age. Pretty, who are you calling that?

No, I'm not. But my point is, and it's okay, it's a long way around for me to say is exactly what you just said in a different way, but someone's trash is another treasure. So what somebody loves, somebody else doesn't like, and that goes for some people's opinions, because what they like to read, what they like to listen to, what they like to see. And someone pretty influential once told me, I'm pretty sure it was Barack Obama once we had dinner. Yeah, you guys are besties.

He told me, you know, you've made it when you start to get the hate. And what I say by that is when you start your business, so this person that's written in, when you've started your little business, the people that are following you and supporting you and buying your products, those people are your people, right? So they love you. So they're never going to give you any hate because they're your circle and they're the people that are committed to searching you out finding you and buying your product as you grow and grow and grow you reach more people you're going to eventually reach people that have stumbled

across you but don't like your product and feel like they need to tell you that this is when barack don't quote that told me that that's when you know you've made it because you've reached a platform you're reaching so many people your products going out there it's so popular that people are going to start to tell you what they really think now so it also is human nature to grab onto that one little thing of negativity I'm sure whatever business you run I'm sure you had a hundred amazing reviews and a hundred people that are celebrating you and supporting you but that one person that says you know what I think you're shit totally you want to hold on to that because that's what hurts and you're like well I want everyone to love me why don't they love me but

you need to get to a point where you understand as long as you are happy with what you're putting out and who you are, that's all that matters because you're never, ever, ever going to please anyone. I think that that is a really important point that you just made, Brie, this whole idea that we are negatively geared. You know, you can get a thousand positive comments and a negative one will cut through so much deeper, so much quicker, and you will hold on to those, you know, something that somebody frivolously has just fired off in 10 seconds and then they've gone on with their day and not thought about. You will read that and that will affect you potentially for the rest of your day, the rest of your week, you cannot be defined by the negative things that a

few people think of you, because that's not a reflection of who you are. You know, you can't allow that to supersede and overtake everything else. And, you know, like make you worry so much that you're losing sleep over it when you have to look at the percentage. If, for example, it's 50% of people saying negative things and 50% of people saying positive things, well, then you probably got a bit of a problem because that's not a very good skew when it comes to business. But if you have 5% saying negative things and 95% giving you positive reviews, then I would say, cool, there's a bit of room for improvement there. But ultimately you have a great robust business and that's where you should be focusing your energy on too. So just to wrap this up, I think it is a

good quality that you worry about it because it shows that you want growth. Do I think that you should worry yourself into an early grave and change everything about your business? Because a few people think negative things. No, I think you just fucking get up, work hard and just continue. yeah the only person you need to impress is you more and also your customers and everyone that needs to buy the product okay final question I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have not had sex in weeks prior to this we had a very healthy sex life I've brought it up multiple times with him and he has said that it's difficult to have sex with me while I have such a big tummy he tries to reassure me by saying I'm beautiful but it's hard to be sexually attracted to me when

I'm pregnant. I've suggested we try other positions where my belly isn't visible to him, which he says, yeah, we can try it, but then still nothing happens. I also know he often masturbates. It's already hard to see my body going through all these changes, but to also feel undesired by my husband hits even harder. Is it normal for your partner to not want to be intimate with you when you are at this stage of pregnancy? I worry that if we don't have sex until after the six weeks baby is born that there's going to be an immense pressure on it. I don't know what else to do to encourage him. It's a massive hit to my confidence every single time he shuts me down. Is it normal? Help? What do I do? This is such a hard one because I think that

every relationship is different and I think that so many people go through some challenging times when it comes to sex and it comes to pregnancy because sometimes it's the other way around. sometimes it's women who don't feel comfortable wanting to have sex with their partners when they're pregnant. And sometimes it's their partners. For me, Matt has a weird pregnancy fetish and he wants to have sex up until the time. And when I say this, I mean like he wants to have sex with me more when I'm pregnant, but that's why I say it's his pregnancy. I mean, he's normally like once a week and when I'm pregnant, he's like, he would, yes, it's a lot and I'm tired. I need him to stop. So, but even for Matt, so it got to a point, I think I might

have been 37 weeks pregnant and something clicked in him at 37 weeks and he wasn't interested in having sex anymore. And he would do it begrudgingly. Like if I was like, come on, he would be like, because he felt, well, I think by that point in time, the idea that there was a very real baby in the room was sexually off-putting for him. Like it made him not want to have sex because he was like, it's not just you and me in the bedroom. There is a full human right there that sometimes moves around when I've got my hands on your stomach I can feel it like it makes me not be thinking and be in the moment it can definitely well I imagine it would be pulling your mind elsewhere totally and so I mean you as the carrier of the baby you with the baby inside you you're

feeling those movements all the time so you're very in tune with the fact that there is a baby there and it's almost like you don't care anymore like I know I didn't care anymore I was like whatever I'll you know it didn't affect me sexually and if anything I think it makes you hornier for a lot of people when you're pregnant to say that you're like it's unfair like you're super horny then they also tell you that like having sex will bring on the pregnancy but then you've got a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you and you're like you're not doing your job that's when you need the salad tongs vibrate but like I said every single person is different and the only reason why I want to give your partner like almost the benefit of the doubt like play

devil's advocate for your partner is because if you had a really healthy sex life before pregnancy and also during it up until this point I think that you will probably end up going back to having a really healthy sex life after pregnancy. And maybe you're just in a bit of a weird transitional phase. I think if you are not there at the six, you know, let's say 10 weeks after or four months after, whatever it is for you that you need to get back into having like a regular sex life. I think that then it would be a time to start really going, okay, is there a problem here? But I do think at this period, there needs to be a bit of leeway both ways. Does that mean that you can't be intimate with each other? No. And I think it's really important to kind of define and

break down the difference between intimacy and having sex. He might not feel comfortable having penetrative sex at the moment, but he should still feel comfortable with being intimate with you and making you feel wanted and loved and desirable. All those things are still important. And he still needs to be putting in effort in that area. He just doesn't have to have sex right now if he doesn't feel comfortable either. I wonder, and I've never been pregnant, so I don't know. I can't comment from a personal experience, but I wonder if you can sit down and have a conversation and say like, I still feel like I need this. I still feel like I want to have that connection and intimacy. Cause it makes me feel wanted. Yeah. You do definitely need to respect each other.

So you also need to respect the fact that he doesn't feel like it. And he is telling you, he still thinks you're beautiful. He just, whatever the reason is, he doesn't want to go to that length. Can you sit down and can he get you off with toys? Can you still have these fun in the bedroom and this closeness and you can still have this sexual connection without it being penetrative sex. So maybe that is something you could look at. Maybe you could introduce some things that might excite him as well. If it's not something that you usually do, if you don't usually play with those kinds of things in the bedroom, maybe that could be something where it does get him excited. You don't know, but I think you just have to have an honest conversation and

say, I mean, you could just be like, you get really horny when you're pregnant. Like I want to have this connection. I want to have some sort of level of sexual contact. What can we do? A hundred percent. And I think you could even say, I know you've said you don't want to have sex at the moment let's take sex off the table then until after the baby's born but I still want you to make me come I still like here it is pal like use your hands use this tool whatever it is that you want you can ask for that in your relationship and if that's then a no if there's a no to intimacy then that I think is a bigger problem but I do think that pregnancy is an unusual time for everyone and I used to think no fuck that like yes your body's changing but he

should still be you know I have changed my feelings towards that because the more I've spoken to my friends who have had babies the more I've spoken to women I know how much it can change your sex life for that period and also for the period after the baby's born you may feel touched out you may not want to have sex like it's a real transitional time but I think if you had a really healthy sex life before having a baby there's absolutely no reason why you can't have a really healthy sex life after having a baby so long as you're both prioritizing it and you come back to each other well I think that's it I feel like that is it for us as well anyway guys we hope that you loved the episode Brittany Hockley in case you didn't know I do love you love you okay

thanks bye yeah thank you so much and if you love the episode I have some homework for you go jump on the tiktok because we are tiktokers and it is life uncut podcast and we are posting all of the behind the scenes there you can also follow us on instagram at life uncut podcast and subscribe Try and watch both of the glass hung-ins, the original OG that wasn't called Glass Hung-In and then Laura's one. Subscribe, leave a review, a positive one, please, and you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog with a hands-free leash and tell your friends. And share the love because we love them.

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