Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Can you not take a picture of me without me knowing?

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Hey lifers! Welcome to ask uncut where we unpack your dirty (and clean) dilemmas!Britt is calling it in from Scotland and Laura would like to know if there is anything you are passionate enough about to forgo the use of a bathroom. The questions we dive into today are: -When does 'public' photography cross the line of privacy?Do people have the right to be taking photos of other people without their consent to build a profile under the guise of lifestyle photography? -I've been with my partner for 1.5 years. He is very attractive, however, when it comes to sex I'm not attracted to him. The whole experience does not turn me on. It's a classic jackhammer.What's worse is that he thinks our sex is good. Everything else is great but I don't know how to speak about this with him. -I've been with my partner for 11 years. We have a 1 year old. I've been on maternity leave since our baby was born. I absolutely loved my job and was getting further in my career. I'm unable to return to work because of child care. Some days he says it's 'his responsibility to be the worker and I'm lucky to be at home with our baby.' If we were to switch, we would earn similar money but he's closed off to the idea. How do I navigate this? If you've got a question you'd like us to unpack, send it over to our DMs Join the Facebook group! Follow our Instagram and our Tiktok!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany and Laura, what time is it where you're recording? It's not that early now. It's 20 minutes past 6am. But it was early when I got up. Yes, and it sounds like that.

It sounds like you're still finding your voice this morning. I haven't had a coffee yet. Also, don't draw more attention to this. I haven't had a coffee yet. I haven't had a coffee. I think I might be getting sick. Well, you're recording in my house right now, so I do have a pod machine. I have Nespresso's over there.

Go make yourself a little coffee. Okay, can I just tell you, so Britt has her house key in like a lockbox at her house, right? Don't tell everyone how to get into my house. It's a lockbox. You can't get in. The code is. Laura's like, and this is where you find it and this is the code. And if that doesn't work, there's a backup key.

I want to show you a photo of what I was greeted by when I got to your house this morning and had to stick my hand in to get the fucking key out of the lockbox. Oh, my God. What was it? Was it a water dragon? This. Can you see what was right next to the lockbox? Oh, my God.

It is the biggest spider. Don't let Ben see that. Oh, my God, Ben, do not come over and look at this. Ben, please come and have a look at this. Okay, Ben, come over. Understand what is waiting for you in Australia. Okay, Ben's coming over. So, Ben is petrified of Australia.

He thinks that, like, you walk down the street and there's... So, Ben, look, Ben's jumping on the mic here. This is next to where my key is. That's the lockbox for the key. Yeah, fuck that. What do you think about that? Are you going to come to Australia? Nope.

Absolutely not. But do you know what the thing is? It's actually big, but it's not humongous. But you probably find that... It will eat me alive. It will not eat you alive. It will devour your entire body, head first. No, it's also a harmless one.

It's a huntsman, but they look fucking scary. They look really scary. No, no, that's what they all say. I don't believe that. Ben has this, because he's so petrified of Australia, he's been doing all his own research and Googling. He's Googled that to keep spiders out of the house, you go and sprinkle lavender over all the...

Peppermint. Peppermint oil and lavender, he says, over all the window frames and the doors and everything. He says you just sprinkle... I don't know what kind of witchcraft he's been doing, but he's convinced that if you just put lavender at the door the spiders won't come in I was like okay babe if you want to go and sprinkle lavender around the house go nuts but there will one day be a huntsman on your face in bed I can't wait for Ben to get here and for your house to smell

like a 90 year old lady absolutely it's gonna smell like a 90 year old lady okay well I'm glad you got in a lot how did you get the key out then what'd you do with did you scare the spider away I went full bear grills mode and I stuck my hand in there and I got it that was it because I couldn't flick it out and everything's so wet because it's been raining here for like the last couple of days so I just had to do it and I got it in there and I mean I've lived in this apartment before if you followed along the podcast for a long time you would know that when I was living here this house was infested with huntsman's like I mean there was one day I came home from work and there was 20 huntsman's just hanging out in the lounge room watching Blippi. You are giving me

wild anxiety of what I'm going to come home to like am I going to come home to an infestation what's that huge spider out of harry potter i don't know i do not remember this aragon aragon the giant spider that lives in the forest how do you not know that laura you got kids give him harry potter i feel like i'm gonna walk in the door and aragon's gonna be in my house i don't know what to do maybe i need to get a pest inspector in there asap i think maybe you could do with the fruit flies because i think that might be the reason why you have so many huntsman's in the house oh my god can you just do some housework for me while you're in my house okay speaking of house my next door neighbors that i was on a date with you know how ben set me up with a gay couple

next door in their 70s these are my new friends in if you guys listened this week on tuesday ben set me up with a friend date he told me that alex next door is going to take me out we're going to have a great time i thought they were going to be in their 20s and we're going to go partying but they're a couple in there what i thought was i said they were nearly 70 so update we're now best friends what happens if they listen to this podcast are they actually 70 or are they like 40 and you've just aged them up how funny you should ask that laura i ran into them in the supermarket today literally just ran into them and the first thing they said they were like how could you and i was like sorry what and they're like how could you do that to us and they were deadpan serious

and i was like i'm so sorry i don't know what you're talking about they're like 70 britney you told everyone you told Australia we were 70 and I burst out laughing I couldn't believe it I was like oh my god you listen to the podcast now and they were like yes we listen to the podcast and just so you know we're 65 I can't believe you aged us out of five years anyway it was so cute but we went on our proper date yesterday I went over to their house and we had some tea and some bickies like very Scottish team bickies and we just like hung out with the dogs at their house and then they were like can we take you to lunch so we went on this beautiful walk around Scotland in a day went to an amazing restaurant anyway they are incredible I'm obsessed with them we

laughed for hours on end they are the most wild crazy people with the craziest stories they're 100% my new best friends but one of them is and has been he's apparently one of the most well-known psychics like in scotland he even worked for i could be exaggerating this he even worked for like the fbi or something in america on cases he used to you know how they used to get psychics in to be like you know do you feel anything you know on those like missing persons things he used to do that shit and then when he listens to this tomorrow he's going to be like no britney i'm 65 and i've only ever read people's fortunes at the markets yeah that's what's going to be i've like mailed that up don't let the truth get in the way of a good story no so well he's he's got some crazy

stories but like people would walk down the street and be like oh my god you're the famous psychic he had a really a big name for himself for a while and he hasn't done readings for a long time but he was picking up heaps of stuff from me straight away like even in the room I was like are you getting a lot from me and he's like yes I am and I said good or bad and I said don't hold back because I just want the truth you know I want to know what you're feeling he goes oh this is a problem for me like I can never lie so I'm not gonna if there is something I'm not gonna not tell you i just tell you what i'm feeling and his partner alex was like he's telling the truth he's not going to sugarcoat it so i said good or bad and he said both he's like i'm getting good and

bad yeah and then he actually was getting a lot about my family like all my family was coming through sheridan was coming through a lot which i haven't even told her that yet she'll probably hear it new first from the podcast i'm not gonna say what it was a lot on sherry my dad my nana heaps of stuff and he said this one thing about my nana that was so spot on it had to be true like i was like there is no way for and i know you're such a skeptic laura you need to come over and be friends with my best friends and he can do it maybe we need to get him on the podcast i am such a skeptic about this stuff and it's only because every time i've ever been to see a psychic or sit down with one they've always been like i see you with a person i think they're a man

and maybe you might have children like it's so vague you know like of course at some point I'm going to be with a man and with children might not be my man might not be my children but I'm going to be in a room with some it's just so vague there's never been any specifics and so I always do you remember when we did it we had a psychic on the podcast and I went back and listened to that episode this was David yeah David David the psychic medium I went back and listened to that episode it was from 2021 i think the start of 2021 and there were a few things in that which came into fruition but then there was stuff like that absolutely didn't happen i don't know i struggle i'll have to ask my friend eugene if he does zoom readings lauren we'll see if we can

maybe we can get one maybe we can get you one through the computer but one thing he said i will tell you the thing that for me was a bit undeniable he said your nana is coming through really strongly and I was like okay my nan is still alive but I didn't say this right he's like she's obviously alive but she's she's coming through a lot and I was like interesting what's coming through and he's like it's a death a death and I said no there's no death like I couldn't think of anything I was really honest I was like nothing and he's like I know it's her because it's there is something so strong saying there's a death it had an instant long-lasting impact and i was like there's no one that's died around her and he was like it's weird because it keeps saying

i know this is the woman because it is a death that changed everything but it was quite sudden and then he literally stopped because i was like there's really no death like i cannot think unless there's something i don't know about and then he stopped and went wait it's a limb it's a limb he's like does that mean anything to you and my nana lost her limb she lost her arm she's only got one arm she lost her arm to polio when she was only 19 and her arm is still there but it's dead so it's this tiny arm because the muscles waste away but it's completely you cannot use it it just hangs in it has done that since I was 19 and it was a very quick thing and it affected the rest of her life and out of nowhere he just stopped and goes wait it's it's a limb it's a limb and I

was like oh my god her limb yeah she had a death of a limb I just thought that was really weird because that's not a stretch Laura. All right Eugene get him on the podcast. Laura's impressed look at her. Come and tell me tell me what's happening in my life tell me all the terrible mistakes I'm yet to make. Well this was just like a having a cup of tea kind of thing and he was known as a spiritual healer. A lot of people would bring their children from all over for him to heal. I'm either a sucker and getting sucked into some crazy wives tales but for some reason we've been best friends for a while now, 48 hours. So I do trust him, but he's going to give me a proper sit down reading. Cause this was just over tea. He was just getting some floundering stuff. And

he's like, look, I will give you a proper reading. He goes, I won't do it in front of Ben. He did say something interesting about, he gets a, Oh my God. He said spider vibe. He's like, I'm getting a spider vibe. And then you just found the spider. That was weird. Anyway, britney comes back from scotland and she's like got full dreadlocks she's burning a sage stick and she's got a pocket full of crystals well i'm really looking forward to the reading so i will keep you guys updated i know you're on the edge of your seat but i i'm a skeptic like laura i'm shut up i know i know i'm a skeptic like you i don't always believe everything but sometimes you know i've seen ghosts before sometimes things are undeniable so i am going to keep an open mind and

let's see what he comes up with but I'll keep you posted I know you're on the edge of your seat Laura truly I'm truly riveted it's almost like when someone tells you their dream you know when someone's like I had a really crazy dream last night let me tell you about it there's people who love hearing about dreams and then there's people who are like that is not true and it's just something that you imagine it was a literal thought that you had while you were sleeping and now you're telling me I feel like some people think the same thing about predictions but also So I know that there are people who are so, so into it. So, I mean, to those people, edge of the seat.

Wait till I tell you. I'll tell you some of the predictions he's already told me off air. Like, I'm not going to repeat them in public, but you'll be like, whew, that is crazy. This is our Ask Uncut episode where we answer all your deep, your dark, and your burning questions. But before we do that, I wanted to, Britt, tell you about an article that I read.

Now, this is possibly the lowest brow article that I think I have come across in 2023. It is the stupidest news that I think I found and the reason why I wanted to tell you about it is because I think this is an urban legend. Not this story is true but I think the concept of it is an urban legend. Okay. Now we have all heard before that during marathons or like big runs that like super competitive runners will not take a toilet break. Like if they need to go to the toilet they will just shit themselves and keep running. We've all heard that. I've clocked a few marathons myself but I haven't actually shit myself but yes go on let's let's discuss okay so the reason why

I find this so outrageous is because we've heard it everybody knows that that's what happens in like you know bunny years but does anyone actually know anyone or has anyone ever read an article about someone who has done this feat who has run a marathon and decided mid-run you know what I really need to go to the toilet and my personal best is more important than my dignity yes Laura Absolutely. No. No, yes. No one.

Okay, well, there is a woman. Her name is Tamara Torlaxon. Tamara Torlaxon. She relieved herself mid-marathon without stopping. She was only 13 months postpartum and she did a personal best in this marathon. It's in the States. It is called the Mountains to Beach Marathon. Anyway, she ran 26.2 miles.

What's that in kilometers? Like 40 something kilometers? Well, a marathon, I think, is 42 kilometers. Yeah. Okay, so halfway through, she had the urge and she was like, I am going to do a poo and then she thought, I wonder if I can do it while maintaining the same pace and boy did she ever. It's so funny you say that. I saw this article this morning that popped up on my Instagram. So she beat her record by like one minute 15 seconds or one minute 20 seconds. So

a pretty small amount of time but that's why it's so crucial to shit and run. If she stopped to take a poop on the side of the road or to a bathroom, she wouldn't have beat her record by one minute 20 because like who poos in a minute 20 unless you've got explosive diarrhea laura raising a hand no one's no one's pooping in a minute and 20 seconds but this is a thing and i tell you why i know it i'm from port macquarie for those that might not know but it's a and everybody in port macquarie shits themselves and runs we all shit ourselves no um in port macquarie it's the host of one of the big ironman competitions maybe because it's got the perfect roads along the coast for it but they have iron men there and they have other big running competitions but

every year we everyone lines the streets and you know like you hold the signs up and you cheer people on i've never run it but i've cheered people on before but i've seen people do it on that track no and some people no yeah they people are not hundy people are not pooing themselves and continuing running it makes no sense like like at the end when you get your award or you get your trophy what's left where do you go to from there someone's like you cross the finish line you run through that blue ribbon and you have a shoot in your pants oh you don't stop running no you you run straight to the ocean you jump in the ocean you jump in the shower you jump in the bath but yeah this is how obsessed the i mean these athletes are there to win and they're there to

get their pb and if they take a dump they're not they're not gonna clock their pb there was i think this is an urban legend i didn't see this but there was someone that said in one of the port macquarie triathlons or iron men that someone a woman was running and you could because you can't see when someone poos but somebody could see like it running down her leg so for me that's an urban legend i haven't seen it but we have seen people just stop instead of actually pooping themselves they will stop and poo on the ground but on the side of the road like people are still there people are still looking because there's not enough time to go and find a toilet but it's actually you know why it's common laura in a serious note triathletes shit more because

the running disrupts the bowel movements and stuff like that and the things that they did the day before and it's pretty known that a lot of athletes poop more on the go can i just say this there is nothing there is no activity in life that i am so dedicated to that i would not stop it to do a poo except for childbirth that i might do a poo during you know surfers that's also not sport but you know what that's the only endurance activity that i'd be like all right i guess i'm gonna do a shit and keep going okay so a lot of i'm gonna tell you something else might blow your mind right now a lot of surfers poop themselves as well no no yep it's called an aqua turd it's a thing so women and go to the toilet because they don't want to especially if the surf's good

they've been out there for like eight hours they don't want to paddle in they will literally do an it's an aqua turd it's a thing i'm sorry to hurt your feelings that you might be swimming in an ocean of poop we're doing that anyway because all the poop floats out to sea but at least it's treated anyway i don't know why we're talking about this a part of me wanted to know whether there was any activities in your life that you would continue just defecating is it defecating and just losing all dignity i think you'll be surprised i think there'd be a lot of elite athletes out there that would probably poop in their pants to win whatever sport they're doing wow don't you reckon maybe write in if you're an athlete that is a level of dedication i just wish

i wish i cared enough about something in life that i could do that but i don't at all all right all right let's move on vibe or unsubscribe do you have a vibe yes i have a vibe i so deeply have a vibe this week and i'm so excited about it because last night i watched four episodes and i was like this is the shit it's so good look she's gonna be like it's this new show lost Oh, shush. Actually, I have no idea. I have no idea how long it's been out for. But if you guys have not started watching Daisy Jones and the Six,

it's a series that's on Amazon Prime at the moment. But it's done so well. So it's a completely fabricated story about this 70s band. They were the biggest band in all of the world. And it's about why the band unraveled towards the end, except it's done like a documentary style, except the whole thing's made up. So they're interviewing the band members in the present and then it keeps flashing back

to their lives and like how they became really famous and how they wrote their music and their love stories. The storytelling in it is so good. The music is so good. I never get sucked into series. I very, very rarely watch the TV and I watched four episodes yesterday and I freaking loved it. That's my recommendation.

Have you seen it? No, but I know about it and I've read a lot about it, but it's so good because it's an adaptation. it's a book quite a well-known book and it's an adaptation by reese witherspoon so reese witherspoon's production company is producing it she's the one that produces all these adaptations she did like big little lies you know she's done morning show the woman everything she touches is gold she just puts so much like time and love and energy into it but that's why it's so good because she's come and brought it to life well i just want to say if you've been thinking like what am i

going to watch next what's on the rotation go put it on watch episode one like the character development's amazing you really sort of fall in love with them even just by episode two you're really in it with their story and their traumas and everything that they're going through it's very good okay there you go well my vibe this week is if you follow me on instagram you might have seen there was uh i don't know what i want to call it some uh vocality is that the word about a hat that i was wearing outrage sheer outrage it wasn't outrage it was funny i had this hat on because it's cold over here and it's like a it's a beanie but in a hat and it's this big woolen fluffy thing and it's a bucker

hat and i loved it i love it that's why i bought it that's why i'm wearing it ben hates it he thinks i look like painting bear my stylist slash one of my best friends at home kim who she well you know she's one of my best friends but anytime i have an event she styles me she styles you laura for some shoots and stuff she's one of our closest friends yeah she does all my Tony Mays stuff she's great yeah everything I always buy I usually run it by her I usually send her a text and be like thoughts on this loving it and she's usually like well I mean she's like yes no more time she's like probably no to me because I don't really have much style sense anyway I didn't run the hat buyer and I bought it and I posted it and she had a field day with it she was like what the fuck is that

I did not approve that she's like you like joking anyway it turned into this big funny thing on instagram but this is my vibe the hat is my vibe a lot of you guys were vibing it it's morgan and taylor a lot of you were asking not sponsored paid for it out of my own pocket money it's my thing so my vibe is if you like something that others might not think is cool that's okay go and have a look at the hat if you love it buy it that's my vibe it's random but it's very personal to me this week but it's like if you want to wear something that everybody else hates just do it it's fine and maybe you'll become a do you know what this is me and crocs i will wear crocs until the day i die yes i will wear them from when they're cool until when they're not cool again until when i'm old and

i wet myself because they are waterproof and the pee will run straight through but that's actually it like if you like something who cares what anyone else thinks about it who cares if someone thinks it's cool or not like fuck you're the only one that's gonna wear it i'd enjoy it i actually try to put i tried some platform crocs on the other day okay we draw the line there anyway let's get into the questions all right question number one i have a question and i would love your thoughts on it question one i have a question this one i think is quite relative to us because we live in bondi so we can kind of picture it but i feel like anybody who has seen these instagram accounts will get a get a vibe let me set it up question a friend of ours gets up every morning and takes

photos of bondi beach the lifestyle and the people they post the photos daily on their social photography page which they've been doing for so many years a lot of the men and women featured are wearing swimmers they're half naked and they are totally unaware that they are being photographed i'm guessing and i've actually seen one of these photos because there was a sample image that was sent through it's like a photo from behind of someone walking away but it's kind of ambiently of the ocean but it's also got people in it but some of the photos are way more specifically around people rather than being just around ambient photos if that makes sense like more people than landscape yeah more butt more butt and butt cheek than landscape let's put it that way a lot

of the men and women that are being featured are wearing swimmers they're half naked and they're unaware that they're being photographed it's only been lately where i've looked at some of the photos and i've been given the ick thinking it's a bit creepy or perverted but that could just be me i suppose i wanted your thoughts on this when does this become an invasion of privacy when half naked people are getting snapped and posted completely unaware do people have a right to be taking photos without people's consent to build their own platform under the guise of lifestyle photography in 2023. Keen to hear what you think. I mean, if I looked super hot in the photo. I don't think that's the limit. Post it. No, for me, post it. Daily Mail, if you take a

terrible one, do not post that. They get me dirty all the time. No, this is a tricky one in all seriousness. It's not just about hotness. It's tricky because I think if you don't know who the person is if you can't recognize the person in the photo like if it is just somebody a little bit further away that's walking away there's no defining features so no big huge back tattoo like ben affleck that's like that is ben affleck like you could tell it's ben affleck from anywhere if there's nothing defining like that i think it's okay but if it's a close-up of someone that's clearly like a sexual photo there's nothing else in it it's someone's butt under the guise of oh my god there was a beautiful sunrise this morning but all you can see is a light out the booty then

No, it's too much and it's going too far. If you've seen people's faces without them knowing, probably also a little bit too far in my opinion. Well, just to describe exactly what one of these photos were, so it's taken from basically up on the promenade in Bondi, straight down onto the sand, and it's the back of a girl. Like she is beautiful, she's got a great body, but it's her back and her backside in full view and her legs.

Like it's basically a full photo of her in the middle of the frame walking along the sand from behind. so even though she's anonymous you can't say who she is i'm sure if she saw that photo she would know that that's herself that's her back that's her butt in a very skimpy bikini it's hard what do you think so i think there's two ways to look at this because there's what's morally right and what's legally right if you're in a public premises like if you're out at a beach and you're in someone's photo technically that's okay like paparazzi can be down the beach taking photos and they're not doing anything wrong it's true it's super intrusive it's uncomfortable but when

you're in a public place people can take photos of you they're technically allowed to do it yeah does that make it right absolutely not I think that there has to be a moral part of this as well whereas like if you are taking like you said ambient photos of the scenery and there are people in it and that kind of creates context to the photo then I think that that's fine but if the entire aesthetic of that photo is dependent on that person in it and they haven't been able to consent to it and then you're selling those photos for money and literally it's their backside which has become a main feature of it I think regardless of whether it is or isn't okay legally I think morally it would absolutely give me the ick as well and well I think it depends who it is because

there is quite a famous well there's probably a few but there's quite a famous local photographer that does the same thing in Bondi they're beautiful beautiful pictures but they're probably more landscape but there are I know plenty of people that have been in them I have one very good friend that didn't know the photo was taken but she follows the Instagram page and she saw it come up and she actually went and bought it because it was beautiful but it was her walking into the water it was from behind but it was very landscape heavy it wasn't it's not like she had any defining features but she knows herself and she you could still tell it was her I look at the photo I can tell it's her because I she's one of my close friends but for her the

situation worked because she was happy with the picture she had no complaints I feel like you shouldn't have to purchase it like if you're in the photo surely you just walk up you're like dude that's my back maybe she got a discount I don't know but my point is I think it's probably situational but then how do you judge that because somebody else could have seen that and felt violated somebody else could have been like that's mean I didn't even know that's cooked like so I think it's very dependent on the style of photo and the person that's in the picture like you just said I didn't really think about it that way but they're technically not doing anything wrong maybe Maybe if you feel that weird about it and they're close, you could have a conversation

with them and maybe they can put something on the Instagram in their bio that says, if you are the subject of one of these pictures, let me know. Like, you know, if anyone ever posts other people's content, they're always like, if you're the owner, let me know if you're unhappy, I can take it down. I can credit where credit's due. Maybe it's something like that. They can just put a bit of a disclaimer in. I don't know.

It makes me think that maybe there needs to be more legislation around it. Like maybe there should be more rules around being able to profit off taking photos of people without their knowledge. and like, what does that look like from a consent perspective? Because, you know, I mean, I think that this has always existed in some capacity, but as social media increases, as more people become amateur photographers, because literally everybody has a camera in their hand everywhere they go. But maybe it's important that there is some sort of legislation that's brought in about this so that we're not leaving it up to people to individually decide what is and isn't appropriate.

Because I think that when you leave it on an individual basis, there's always room for error. There's always room for people to exploit how open the laws are around it. And it'd never work though. Think about it logistically. You cannot police that and you cannot, a place like Bondi, how do you even take one picture of the ocean or a sunset or a sunrise without someone in it? You'd always be inadvertently taking a photo of someone. Yeah, but I think that the way that it could be policed is what is that photo?

Is that photo of the sunset? Is it a panoramic of the entire beach or is it specifically of that person? And I think that most people could look at a picture and make a decision of what the main subject is. You'd still not. But I think that there should be something that comes into play here, because if one person's profitizing off the back of somebody else's image just because they went into a public space, there's a part of me that thinks that that's pretty wrong.

Literally every paparazzi in the whole world. I don't think this will ever change. I agree, but I also have strong opinions as to why I think paparazzis are problematic. That just because you walk out of your house that somebody who you don't know is allowed to follow you, stalk you and take photos of you and your kids. Like I have many issues with paparazzis, but I think, yes, but that's a whole nother convo. Totally. But I think in this instance, I do think that because the digital age of people having cameras and taking photos is very different to what it was 20 years ago, but the rules haven't changed much. Now, every single person walks

around with a phone and a camera on them 24 seven. Anybody can be an amateur photographer. Anybody can start up a social media account and post photos under the guise of lifestyle. And so I think maybe it is time that there are some more legislations in place that protect people. But where does it stop? We think of how many people film people for TikTok, for Instagram, the whole big Clarkie fight that happened recently. There is no way to police this because there are so many ways and levels for people to film stuff. It is the world we live in. I think it's just going to come down to a moral obligation. And that's not me saying I think that's right. Just from the bigger picture, it is impossible to police something like this.

there is no one in the world that could go down to Bondi Beach in summer and almost take a photo with no one in it. Then what? Then you go up and ask for their consent. I think it's just a really moral thing. But I think if you're going to profit off it, if you're going to make money off the back of distributing that image and the key subject is a person, yeah, I think that there should be some sort of. I agree. I just think it's impossible. I mean, I disagree. I don't think anything's impossible. And I think that, you know, when it comes to filming people without their consent, whether it's for TikTok or YouTube or Instagram, I think there's a much bigger conversation around this. But in terms of answering this one question, which is whether

they should either, you know, they have the ick that this is something that their friend is doing, maybe have a conversation with your friend about it, about how you think some of the images are maybe erring on the side of being inappropriate and exploiting somebody who doesn't know that they're having their photo taken and it isn't being done with their consent. And I think maybe if you highlighted why it could make somebody feel uncomfortable because it's made you feel uncomfortable, then they might be aware of something that they hadn't really thought of before. You know, I was in Thailand last year. I went with my sister Sherry on this little trip and we were having like a drink at this beach bar and the sunset was incredible. And there was this

man sitting by himself playing the guitar. He was an older man and he was sitting on a swing from a tree. He'd been there for hours. And as the sun was setting and he was playing the music, I was like, that is such a beautiful photo. And I, from behind, he didn't know I took the photo. It was just him sitting in this swing from the tree sunset amazing I took the photo of him and then I had this weird feeling and I was like oh I feel like I should tell him that I took a photo so I went up and told him so excuse me I just took your photo but I was like it is so magnificent that I thought you might actually want it and if you don't that's fine and like I can delete it and I showed him and he was traveling by himself and he was like oh my god it's beautiful like can you

airdrop me that and I sent it to him and it all was well and done but I did have that moment of I could have posted that photo and no one would ever know who it was. But I even had a moment of like, oh, it's somebody that didn't know I just took their photo. But do you know, okay, like here's another situation to think about. And I guess like this is something that when I've been traveling around in my younger years, it was something I thought of. Why is it that photographers or artists or geographers who are taking photos to put a National Geographic or whatever it is, can take photos, you can go to India, you can take photos of incredibly poor situations of people who are impoverished of people who are living in really dire situations take photos

and then they are turned into what is seemed to be beautiful artistic photos but the subject of that photo gets nothing the person who took the photo gets everything they can monetize that photo they make an income off it and it's off the back of somebody who was one non-consenting and two probably needs that money a hell of a lot more than the person who's taking the artwork in the first place yeah but i don't think you're pushing a point that everyone in the whole world wouldn't agree with. I think that if we could live in a world where we could go and take a photo of someone and then every person in that village or photo could profit, but how would you do that? I mean, in the same way that we have laws on Instagram for everything else, for how that you

share content around kids, for how you share content in terms of advertising, there's loads of laws. They exist for so many things. And I think just simply blanket saying like, oh, it's too hard. We can't police it. It's just a too simple explanation for it. And I think that there are more issues in regards to this and the fact that there aren't more sort of parameters around it that it's just if you're in a public place you can have your photo taken and someone can profit off that to me that's a bit crazy question number two hi ladies i have been with my partner for 1.5 years now i love him a lot and we are best friends physically he's extremely attractive i'm thinking hot fire flame he's very tall and very fit however oh oh it's a biggie when it

comes to sex i am not attracted to him i've never found there to be a ton of sexual chemistry from my side but i know he feels that there is the whole experience for me doesn't really turn me on when we have sex it's a classic jackhammer to get himself off i shouldn't laugh at that but we have spoken a lot about jackhammering it's awful this part hurts i have never come i am missing the intimacy that comes prior to sex i know he loves me very much but i don't feel like he touches me intimately prior to sex at all so it feels a bit transactional this is really affecting the relationship for me and making me wonder whether we are right for each other everything else is there except this sexual chemistry he's quite sensitive when i bring up this issue and he

always feels attacked how can i bring this up to him without ruining his confidence and our relationship playing this episode oh you have to have a conversation with him he might feel attacked He might get defensive for a little while. I mean, obviously it comes down to your delivery a bit too, but it also might just come down to his ego. Some people are way more defensive than other people and that's just who they are as a person and, you know, they've got their own set of things to deal with and worry about.

But I feel like if you don't address this, the relationship's not going to last anyway. You're not going to end up staying with someone who the sex is bad with. You don't feel like there's intimacy there and you're not connecting with them on a sexual level, especially when they think that they're connecting with you and there's this mismatch because it's almost like every time it then happens you're like oh fuck you don't get it you don't understand me you don't know me

i guess the hard thing in this is because nothing against this situation but often when we get these questions they're pretty new relationships you know like i've been seeing them a couple of months now how do i tell them it's not working but this is hard because it's 1.5 years so you might have kept this a secret a tad too long like a little bit too long but not and i guess the other question for you is we don't know do you orgasm in other relationships like have you orgasmed and then it's only this time that you're not able to orgasm or I get the feeling from the way the question is written that she would normally come in other and has done in other relationships and this one is the outlier yeah look he sounds great in every other way he sounds like you you love him

he loves you everything's amazing when you say you're not attracted to him sexually you've said you're attracted to him physically so it is purely because you don't like the way the sex is done it's bad sex it's bad sex and of course then it's going to turn you off because every time that moment comes up where you're like you know he's going to instigate it you get a bit like oh I don't want to do it don't take me to jackhammer town I think you need to be very very honest and have a conversation outside of the bedroom and say like I need a bit more intimacy I need things to be a little bit slower, like I need more touching, whatever it is that you require.

Go down on me. Yeah, I think you need to actually really direct him. Also, you could literally show him, and I don't mean like get out a Venn diagram and draw it up for him. I mean like when you're being intimate, showing him how you like him to do things, but I think you have to be vocal in this situation. And if you're not vocal and that makes you uncomfortable, just try sitting on his face.

no don't do that do it it's fine i'm sure he'll like it just ask him first if you can and then sit on his face just jump right on his face okay but how do you okay we have both been in situations before where we have slept with a guy who's just gone straight down to jackhammer town how do you approach that because the problem is is the guys who jackhammer tend to need that sort of stimulation to get themselves to orgasm, right? Like they need it to be hard, fast and powerful. But I think that, yeah, I think it's okay. But I think it's okay to both like different things too,

but you meet halfway, right? Like if that's the stimulation that actually feels good for him, believe it or not, maybe that's a thing. If the jackhammer is what feels good for him, then you might have to accept the jackhammer for a minute or two, but then he's got to meet you halfway and start to do what feels good for you. Yeah, like he needs to do all the prep work in order for you to be okay with the jackhammering.

And then the only other next part of this that makes it awkward is does he know you've never orgasmed or have you been faking it for one and a half years? Because then you can't say, look, it doesn't do it for me because he's like, well, it's been doing it for 1.5 years. It comes back to this whole like why we say don't ever fake it from the start because you get yourself into this really awkward situation.

Imagine faking an orgasm for one and a half years. Well, I reckon there are people that are, 100%. Tell me, I want to know, can you message us and tell us what's the longest time that you've been with someone and you've faked orgasms for? How long are you faking it for? Yeah. This is definitely, when you say you don't want to offend him and he feels attacked, he should not feel attacked in this conversation. This is all about the delivery. This is a very adult conversation where you sit down and talk about what you like in a relationship. I actually just thought of this the other day. We got sent some cards and I was looking through

them and I thought they were brilliant. We got sent some cards from Vush. They sent us a vibrator a little while ago and there was a card set in it and I didn't open it until a couple of days ago. I saw it sitting in my house and I was like, what are these? And I opened them. That's the vibrator I lost. You lost it. I definitely did not lose it. Imagine finding that. It was a box with just a vibrator and some sex cards in there and I can't find it anywhere. This is definitely an idea and roll with me here because it's just hit me now. But these questions

were really engaging and conversation starting. And there were questions like, what's the sexiest thing in the bedroom for you like what gets you going all a different range of questions how do you orgasm how do you like to masturbate there were all these questions surrounding sex on every level and it was a real thought starter in my head I was like this would be a brilliant way to tackle the conversations that many people feel uncomfortable with because for some reason no matter how long you're with your partner there are a lot of people out there that do not like to have these intimate raw sexual conversations about what they want and what they like and that's okay if you do find that awkward but this could be like a really good conversation starter you

could have these cards quickly shuffle through so you know that the card you want is on the top like what's your favorite thing in the bedroom and then you both answer so you could say oh do you know what i haven't had in a while but my favorite thing is when you go down on me before we have sex or you could start that conversation that way i love that idea i think that is a fucking brilliant so wait they're from bush they were from bush yeah but i think a lot of people do them Like sex cards, sex conversation starter cards. Totally. Google that and then leave that in your history browser.

The other thing I think as well is it also depends on the relationship because you may be in a relationship with one person and find talking about sex really easy. Find it like that you are able to open up verbally. You might even be able to do dirty talk, whatever it is. And then you might be in a different relationship and find those conversations more tricky. And it's just because maybe they're not as sexual or they're not as open

and so therefore you find it a bit harder to navigate. I'm just having a thought. What are you laughing at? You know, like when you start having sex with someone. No, but you know when you start having sex with someone, I just imagined this in my head and like they're doing what they like and you're doing what you like and you're trying to show them with your body so you're trying to slow them down

but they're doing the thing and it's not working and there's like worms going around and they're trying to jackhammer but you're trying to slow with your hips. It's so funny. Well, that's why I think like sometimes that works and sometimes people can get the gist, right? Like some people are intuitive in the bedroom and some people, they haven't learned the skills yet.

Like it is a learned skill. And the thing is, is he probably thinks that you like what he's doing because it's been fine for a year and a half now. So I really do think you have to have a conversation outside of the bedroom. You have to explore what these different ways, maybe there is no say, maybe penetrative sex is off the table the next time you have sex and you just try and find a way to get each other off without that happening to try and slow things down a little bit. But you have to have that conversation because if you don't,

I think the relationship is doomed because if you're already feeling like you're not sexually attracted to your partner, even though they tick all the other boxes, very soon that's going to go into friend zone territory and it's just going to erode the relationship. Also, in addition, you've been together for 1.5 years, a long time, also not a long time when you think, you know, you might be with someone 30, 40, 50 years, a lifetime.

But 1.5 years of having sex with someone maybe every day is a long time. the idea that sex can become routine and transactional happens to many people so you're not alone in that a lot of people get lazy in the bedroom get lazy with their relationships that all the effort's gone the dressing up the foreplay all that stuff disappears and people go I'm tired they've got kids you're busy sex does become routine predictable transactional you can change that and you can have a conversation about it you can say let's try and do something more exciting let's mix it up i think that that is normal so don't think that after 1.5 years that because it is transactional that you are abnormal it takes work yeah and also like you said but it

has to evolve because if you're doing the same thing for the next 20 years it's gonna get boring really really quickly jackhammer will be boring after 20s you have no clitoris left i mean jack hammer off go straight through that back wall but like do you know like even if you haven't had those conversations yet even if you were to have new conversations with your partner at the five year mark i think i just want to be clear because at the beginning we were like oh you've almost left it too long i don't think you can ever be in a relationship for too long where you can't bring up sex and want to try something new and because if you don't do that you're going to be doing the same thing forever and nobody likes eating vanilla ice cream until the day they die all right question

number three vanilla ice cream is really underrated i love it imagine if that was the only thing that you could eat though every day forever just put some ice magic nothing you don't can't put anything because no no there's no foreplay there's just all right give me some nice magic foreplay all I've been with my partner for 11 years. We've got a one-year-old and I'm finding it increasingly challenging to be in a relationship with him. I've been on maternity leave since Bub was born and am unable to return to work due to childcare.

I absolutely loved my job and was really getting somewhere in my career, but I also wanted to have kids. Some days my partner gets it and says to go back to work. I'm unsure how I'd do this, childcare I'm guessing, but other days he tells me how lucky I am to be at home when he is out working. I broached me returning to work full-time with him and him staying home, but he says it's his responsibility to be the worker. Very frustrating

old school thinking. We're in financially similar positions in terms of our employment if I return to work. How should I navigate this? I feel like this will be a lot of you, Laura, because you have the kids and you do navigate this. I obviously do not have kids, but I do have strong opinions on this. I think in this day and age, it is very old school to say the man's a breadwinner. It's just not accurate. Those days are gone. There are plenty of women out there that do want to stay home and have that time and that's okay but there are plenty of women that want to go back to work and there's also plenty of women or men who think that they want to have that time and then they you know get to the four month mark or five month mark or six month mark and go far out i really

want to get back to work and then there are people who wanted to go back to work who get to the six month mark and they're like damn it i want to stay home it's so dependent on every single person's situation i think if it's possible and this is so dependent on obviously your workplace and how flexible they are is it possible for you guys to do casual part-time each of you so you're doing a couple of days each a couple of you are having that bonding time with your child you're at home you're doing the key parenting while the other one works you're both getting the fix that you want you're getting the stimulation you need outside of being at home with just your child not having anyone to talk to I think it's really important for women and men to have that level of I don't

want to say independence but I guess it is the time away from being a full-time parent if that's where they feel their cup from and it sounds like you do you want to go back to work could you possibly go back to work and put your child in daycare for one or two days that's also an option but you will wear yourself down and become very unhappy if this is something you're really passionate about and you feel like you are not being given even the opportunity to discuss it you will build a level of resentment. Yeah. And I think on that, like this is your first child. What's going to happen if you decide to have more children? Like what's the next step? For me, I have so many feelings. I have so many thoughts. It makes me a bit angry. I am a very much a

working mom. And in our household, if anything, Matt is now more the stay at home dad than what I am the stay at home mom. I mean, I work five days a week. Matt has Lola and Marley several days and the rest of the days they're in daycare. But for me, I think that this is why it's so important to get on the same page with your partner before you have kids. It's why it's so important to have these conversations all out on the table prior to having children. And I know that that's an ideal world, but this is kind of my warning for anybody else who's maybe in this situation or could be. Have the convo. Put it on the table. Put on the table, what are the expectations? What are your views on how you're going to raise kids? What are your views on who's

going to go back to work? Who's going to do the majority of the domestic load? All of that. because I think the clearer you can get on each other's expectations before you have children the less chance there is that you're going to have this type of issue arise but I guess now that you're in this position and your partner has very sort of I would say traditional views around the household I think it's really selfish of him to turn around and say that you should be grateful for being the person who's at home especially if you're finding it hard you're finding it relentless because for some people they absolutely thrive in that environment and for other mums it's really challenging and I know in our household we have this sort of saying like whoever is the one

that's at home with the kids their day is harder that is a harder day than going to work with us and it depends on what your work is I get it if you're a brain surgeon if you're someone who's working under immense pressure then yeah maybe that might be harder than being a stay-at-home parent. But I would say for the most part, being a stay at home parent is a really fucking hard job because it doesn't stop. And the reason why it doesn't stop is because you don't get to just be a stay at home parent on a Monday to Friday, nine to five. You do it Monday to Friday, nine to five. Then you do it all weekend. Then you do it every night. It literally doesn't stop. You do not have a break. It's every day, all the time, 24 hours. And like everybody else gets a

break from it. And I think for me, I would be having some very honest conversations around how much you feel like that undermines the work that you have to do in the house and that for yourself and for your sanity, you're going to go back to work, whether it be however many days you decide that works for you financially or whatnot. But I think the best option is, is to look at childcare because it means that you get to continue to have the career that you want and your husband can continue to have the career that he wants. And there may be have to be some conversations around what that looks like in terms of income and what are the benefits versus the cost of doing it. Because I know that for some people you don't get a lot of rebate. So it actually ends up costing

almost the same amount to put your kids into daycare as what you would earn. But I think ultimately it comes down to what is going to make you happy and what is going to fill your cup. And if that's doing a couple of days of work, then that's what you have to lean into. Yeah, I have said this before. I mean, probably a few times over the last couple of years, four years, but my brother and sister-in-law, they had a baby and they were both in banking, like both, like you said, both financially very similar. And when they decided to have a kid, they had this conversation and she said, I'm really close to this promotion and I want to keep working and I just can't stop for a year right now. So if you want them now and you don't

want to wait, you'll have to come and be the stay-at-home dad. And he did. He was like, yeah, I do want them now. And that's cool. We have this conversation. They had the child. Mitch stayed at home for a year. She went to work and that was just completely normal. That was their normal. But it was important that that conversation happened first because it would not have gone down well if they didn't talk about it. Then they had a baby. Then they both were fighting about, you know, who was going to work, who was going to stay home. But also that's why it's so frustrating. I mean, societal expectations and traditions, gender roles still very much exist. And there are still men who think, well, no, it is my job to work. It's such a frustrating and dismissive stance

to have because it doesn't take into account both people's career aspirations. It doesn't take into account how you both contribute to your household, not just as caretakers for your children, but like how you contribute to your household in terms of your careers and what you want out of life. And so I feel like there has to be some bigger conversations here around how you show up in the relationship and what equality looks like to you and parity looks like to you in your own relationship. At the end of the day, if you're really unhappy with anything in your relationship you sit down with your partner and you say i'm really unhappy right now and this is why and then you talk about what you can do about it you can throw the scenarios out there but it's

again it's the delivery but that is it please keep your questions coming in if you have them to life uncut podcast that's our instagram dm us keep just write ask uncut at the top so we know and then same thing confessionals accidentally unfiltered funny moments everything goes to the instagram and slide on in over at apple podcast you can leave us a review and if you haven't yet subscribed to the pod go and hit subscribe it's little plus button on apple you can also subscribe on spotify and it just means that every week the episodes will be waiting in your library for you don't forget tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love

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