Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Circumcision...to snip or not to snip?

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

Therapy Thursday is backkkkkk!We missed giving you our unqualified but ridiculously enthusiastic and passionate advice! Today we chat age gaps. Is it an issue? Can you date older? Can you date younger? As one listener says “I really liked him until I found out his age”Next is something a little different, we chat circumcision. Should you circumcise your child!? What are the pros and cons? Obviously we don’t have penis’ so can’t speak from experience lol. But we come armed with plenty of facts and opinions. HELP! I can’t stop catching feelings! Every time I sleep with someone my feelings come rolling in! I feel like I’m setting myself up for disaster. (Spoiler - you probably are)Guys you know the drill! Tell your mum, tell your dad, your friends and your dog and share the love, because, well, we love love xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. And this is our quick, sharp, down and dirty episode where we answer your burning questions. This is Ask Uncut. I nailed it Brittany. I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. We've had to do that intro a couple of times. Look this is our very first Ask Uncut back after a break and we're a little bit dusty but I cannot tell you how many questions we have received over the last couple of weeks. It is wildly insane but we've picked out three for you today because we need to keep this episode short and sharp. I also love the excuse of like sorry guys we had a break

we had one week. Yeah we had one week my brain doesn't work anymore but here we are. Guys, before we get into it, we just want to say we had such an amazing response from our episode this week with David the Medium. You guys, so many of you wrote in to let us know how you felt about the episode. And I just want to say we really love that. We love getting the feedback on what you're loving and what makes you tick because that's the content we want to give you. So we weren't sure how that episode was going to go. We knew that we loved recording it. We had so much fun and it was something really different for us.

But we weren't sure how it would land with you guys because it is different to what we usually do. so we love getting your feedback and so many of you have said it was one of your favorite episodes which is mind-blowing totally i was a bit worried like i was like maybe this is a bit self-indulgent to sit down and do a psychic reading and then expect anybody else will find it interesting i was like are we there already are we that into ourselves but um yeah look i cannot tell you the amount of people who sent us pictures being like holy shit i have goosebumps and then sent us photos of their goosebumps i have a lot of photos of legs and arms in my inbox at the moment which i really appreciate so we're really glad that you guys enjoyed it one girl wrote in actually

yesterday which i thought this was really funny she's like what the fuck does this mean i was on a coastal walk yesterday as she walked past me i didn't know this she just messaged me as she walked past me she was like i walked past you and i was like how weird i'm listening to britney's podcast and she just walked past me and then as she got to the other side of me the pod something happened and her podcast stopped playing and she looked down and from where it had stopped playing guess what the timer was 11 11 yeah it's like one one one but then she was like what well she screenshot it she's like this is you're here I'm listening to your podcast on angel numbers when the podcast stops on one one one and I got goosebumps now I'm such a sucker for goosebumps

but this is going to blow your mind even more and I haven't told you this I finished editing that episode and had uploaded it and the exact time was when I was like cool I'm done I'm going to bed and I looked at my clock was 11 11 and I was like okay papa I get I get it oh look at my look at my arms and I am the skeptic everybody well not anymore you know well anyway we did also kind of preview and give you guys a little taste in the last episode but I just wanted to remind you as well we have just done such an incredible interview with a woman named India Oxenberg the reason why I'm reminding you of this is because she is the star of a docuseries which is on stand at the moment named Seduced and Seduced is all about this cult which happened

in the United States called Nixxiom led by a guy named Keith Raniere it is such a fucking good documentary I really really really recommend you guys watching it I think it's four episodes but it follows this really really harrowing but also quite empowering story around a sex cult in the United States and the thing that's so interesting about it is that there's a lot of celebrities who involved in this cult um there are a lot of high-powered people who weren't necessarily involved in the whole sex cult part of it but they were definitely heavily involved and also misled in the like self-help part of this cult which was active until 2019 so it's really really recent it's still going through the courts at the moment and um we got to sit down with india who was

hugely affected by this cult and she tells her story and honestly it is one of the most mind blowing interviews that we've ever done but I really just hope that some of you guys find the time if you haven't already watched the documentary to go and watch it so that you have all the background information and you can really sink your teeth into that episode because it's gonna be fucking great I think the fact that it's only a four-part docu-series as well it means it's really accessible and it's easy for you to sit down and watch you could watch it in a day if you wanted to and I think you'll enjoy the interview more and you'll get more out of it if you do but for me I don't know if I've ever spoken about this or if I don't think we have but I am

a true crime fiend like i am obsessed with true crime it's all i've watched growing up i'm talking from a little kid and then here you are with a relationship and love podcast i know i'm a sicko for i'm sick for it i used to watch it as a child and all i ever wanted to do when i grew up was be a criminal psychologist like i was so interested in getting into the minds of these people until i looked up that there were like literally four jobs in the world for criminal psychologists like there's no work in it so obviously i went down the health path but i'm obsessed with that kind of stuff. So when I watched this documentary, I was so pulled in when Laura said she'd managed to make contact with India and that she was keen to come on the podcast because India hasn't done

any other Australian podcasts, which we were really excited about because watching one of these series and being so enthralled and then getting the opportunity to actually sit down with someone that lived this experience for seven years for me, it was like almost like a bucket list to actually speak to someone that went through it. And she's such a wonderful, empowering and like normal woman I think that that's the thing like you think of something like a sex cult or a cult at all and you think wow how could someone ever get themselves tied up in that they must be such a crazy person but she's so normal she's so wonderful to speak to she's so warm um yeah so that's that's my little plug again if you guys haven't seen it it's on stan

it's called seduced and it's all about the cult nixium anyway let's talk about this episode so we've picked up three questions for you guys thank you to everybody who's been writing questions we like I said we've received so many we've picked out three really different ones today just to kind of kick back into 2021. I have one that I found really interesting help I love when I actually read the whole thing word for it I love it when you usually start it with like hey guys love your podcast help I recently met this guy at the gym and we've been having light conversation each time I see him there I was super attracted to him until I realized there is an 11 year age gap between us. I'm 22 and he's 32 or 33. I've been through some major events in my life and

I'm over the games that younger guys tend to play so I am looking for someone more mature. However, ever since I found out this guy's age I kind of feel strange and like something's wrong. I don't know whether to give it a chance and accept his request for a date or just put the fire out before it even starts. P.S. I have tried everything to find his social media to see if I can get a bit more info on him and what he's about but I think he's just one of those guys who doesn't use it aka I just can't find anything lol I will never be in the FBI okay so I have mixed feelings about age gaps and I actually think we should do a whole episode on age gaps I think it's a really interesting conversation I think it's interesting too there's a lot to unpack and I don't think

we're going to get it all done in an ask on card I think it's I think it's silly to dismiss and say oh age doesn't matter at all because there are circumstances where age does matter there's circumstances where someone who's in their 30s wants different things to someone in their 20s and there's you know different life experiences there's also different situations where like maybe someone in their 30s has kids maybe they have more baggage maybe they have you know a whole past that then someone in their 20s has to take on so there's there can be a lot more responsibility that goes hand in hand with dating someone who is substantially older that said there also can be no difference because I know a fucking shit ton of 30 year olds who act like they're 20

and who are in exactly the same headspace and life space as what a 20 year old is so I do think it's very dependent case to case but what this sounds like to me is that this person has just caught the ick and that they don't normally go for a guy who's 10 or 11 years older than them and so that makes them feel a bit like oh well I liked him but I don't anymore because of age I agree with you she's an ageist yeah you're an ageist no I agree with you on everything you said Laura but i'm not against age gaps whatsoever brit loves dating 22 year old boys it's all about sugar mama way to throw me under the bus no i do we all remember meat raffle i'm pretty sure he was like 15 years younger than britney well i picked him up from

school so no i'm throwing myself under the bus um he was not 22 but he was quite he was significantly younger you're like it was close if you round it up no i don't think i genuinely do not think there is a problem with age gaps either way with a woman dating someone older or with a woman dating someone younger if the people are compatible and if you're on the same path if you have the same banter if you have the same morals if you want the same things if you don't ultimately notice that there's an age difference I don't see why there's a problem the problems come when you're on different wavelengths and you're wanting different things if the woman is older and she wants kids and the guy's younger then like that's going to cause problems but in

this well I mean it's and it doesn't have to necessarily be the female being older wanting kids like there's plenty of situations where the men are older and they want kids and they want to settle down and they're dating 20 year olds who are not ready for that yet in their lives exactly and i think in this situation my advice to you would be how did you feel before you knew his age because it sounds like you had a crush on him and it sounds like you're really enjoying seeing him at the gym and you're enjoying your banter and you and you're enjoying getting to know him if the problem the only problem has come is that there is an age difference i personally would still recommend that you go on the date because he could very well be an amazing human that isn't

ready to settle down yet and he could be a soul you don't know he's not a soulmate you could go on the date also and you could be like whoa like we are on different paths I'm so glad I did this because now I know but that's what dating is as well I don't think you need to put so much pressure on it now and I think this is also what women and men do to an extent probably more women if I'm being honest and I'm not sexist but it's what we do we tend to overthink things instead of just letting it play out and seeing what happens I think there is zero harm in this situation you had those feelings before you knew his age go on a date with him just make it like a casual date go to lunch or go to the beach or just do a Britney special and go on a walking date

yeah do some exercise I mean you're both gym junkies so why don't you go on a hike for sure why not just be like you know what fuck it let's let's go and have some fun and worst case scenario like and this is how I make all my decisions I say to myself Brittany what is the worst thing that could happen go on your date worst case scenario you don't hit it off you don't feel it you're on different wavelengths and you just go back to like being friends totally what's the what's the oldest guy you've dated or what's the youngest what's the biggest age gap okay so my in all honesty my youngest to oldest the oldest is probably 40 that i've dated so five years older six years old uh british like stop putting my fucking age out there you bitch seven years

older no when i dated someone's 40 i was 30 so there was 10 years okay and the youngest i've dated would probably be seven years younger than me and i'm not i've dated someone seven years younger that i did not notice a thing and i've dated someone seven years younger that i was like you're a small man child boy and like yeah and I can never see you again it's different life experiences it's like completely up to how that person was brought up where they are in their life what they've experienced and what they want so I'm a big advocate actually something else is really interesting a really good example we all know Megan Gale she's like has the hottest husband in the world yeah sure he is much younger he's uh correct me if I'm wrong he was an AFL player

something in the sports but if anybody watched Survivor I was salivating over this man and then I met him in real life at the gym one day and I was like Megan Gale really did score so yeah Megan Gale is 44 and her fiance they're not married Sean Hampson they've been together nine years and they have kids together okay they started dating when he was only like 23 and she was late 30s even I remember being like whoa that is huge she got a lot of heat for it they were under a lot of scrutiny everyone was like this is never gonna last an older woman can't date a younger man like they want different things to prove them all wrong they've been together nine years they have two kids they're engaged they're very seemingly happy and in love so i think that's a prime example

of when age doesn't matter and imagine being in that situation in the public eye as well well and they have a full-on 12-year age gap like that's a big age gap it's especially do you know what and i think that this is the thing that's an issue is like we have a real problem with women dating younger men like we seem to think that that's weird but we think it's less weird for an older guy to date a younger woman like we are very very sexist as a society when it comes to that and I know I like to tease you Brittany but like fucking live your best life but that's the thing too and I never used to ever date anyone younger than me when it started I met someone out that was younger and I didn't know he was younger I just met him he asked me out and I was

like yeah great you're very attractive we had great chat let's go out and we went out on two dates before the age even came up because the conversation was so free-flowing that it was irrelevant then the age came up and as soon as he said his age I got the same feeling as this girl I was like whoa like I can't this can't be a thing because you're so much younger than me and he was sort of like well why like why can't it be a thing if it wasn't didn't bother you the last two days and that was really I mean we obviously didn't work out we only went on a few days we're still friends mind you but that was what was really a turning point for me where I was like it actually doesn't matter if if the chemistry is there and the love is there and

the affection is there and everything else is there it's irrelevant to me well I mean it is a societal construct like I mean it's something that we put a lot of pressure and energy into but that's also because like we've said in many other podcasts we put a lot of pressure and energy onto timelines and onto things matching up by certain ages so then when you when you date someone who is a significantly different age to you there's an expectation that they're on a different timeline and that's where the mismatch happens but like I said earlier you know I always had the mentality that I needed to date up so I've always dated older guys always um you know I think the biggest age gap I've ever had was 12 years and look we were in very different stages of our lives he had

a kid he owned a house and to be perfectly honest I wasn't ready for those responsibilities I wasn't ready to match up to someone who was that much older than me but I had it in my head that guys my own age weren't on my maturity level which is completely untrue you know that was my own thing that I was projecting like Matt is a year younger than me and so I feel like I'm a cougar now but he's the youngest a year does not make you a cougar totally but Matt you're speaking to someone that's like in eight years but Matt is literally the youngest guy I've ever dated I've never dated somebody younger than me and for me that was a big mental adjustment because I've always dated up by so many years but don't you think that comes with age as well I feel like the older you get as

a woman and a man the less age matters i think when you are 20 year old girl woman you're not going to date someone younger because they're just far too immature but all of a sudden when you're 30 dating someone that's 25 they're they're five years older than when you were 20 you know like it's like the older you get the less age matters so yeah look i mean i think we could summarize this i think like we went we've done a big old rodeo on this one but look i agree with Brit I think if there's chemistry there and you want to explore it go for it if it's fully giving you the ick you don't have to force yourself into going on a date with anyone but I don't see a 10-year age gap as a big deal it's only as big a deal as you make it out to be but like you're

potentially overthinking things before you've even been on a date with someone who you have some great chemistry with and you might miss out on something so give it a shot go give it a whirl all right question number two I am going to read this because this is something that we are discussing Matt and I at the moment. So my husband and I live in Australia, but we're originally from the United States. I'm 20 weeks pregnant and we're not going to find out the gender. We had a minor panic this week because we started to think about circumcision and realized we don't know what we're going to do if we have a baby boy. In the US, getting your baby boy circumcised is pretty standard. My hubby is circumcised and so are all of our male friends. But there seems to be a lot

of research that shows it's actually not as medically beneficial as previously believed. so we're starting to question it on one hand it would be great for the bub to match his daddy but should we give him that choice versus make the choice for him what do we do to circumcise or to leave it uncircumcised this is actually really interesting like a little ant eater they look like anteaters when they're not circumcised do they yeah when they have like long hanging guys imagine this okay think of a penis that's not been circumcised with the long floppy foreskin part and then think of an ant eater do you know what yeah do you know I think of that cartoon of is he obsessed mystery where he's got the okay I look I'm having these exact

conversations with Matt at the moment and the reason why is like me personally from a sexual preference I prefer someone who's circumcised Matt is circumcised me from a mum perspective do i want my kid to be circumcised i think it's completely unnecessary i'm i don't want to subject my child to the pain of circumcision i also think that there can be some medical complications that can come from circumcision if there's an infection and i i don't think it's necessary in the same way that we used to think it's necessary back in the day it's a it's definitely a very culturally driven medical procedure it's something that has a lot of religious connotations to it as well and I think if it's just from a from an aesthetic point of view I'm not going to pierce my little

girl's ears until she can choose to do that I'm not going to cut my kid's foreskin off until he can choose to do that either but it's a very very personal decision and it's one that Matt and I don't necessarily see eye to eye on because Matt being circumcised he thinks that our sons should be circumcised he would like his son to be able to one look the same but also you know Matt being circumcised sees the benefits of it too yeah look the United States is one of the top countries in the world for circumcision that's actually known so you're writing saying that like maybe when he grows up he will be a minority not being circumcised but I don't think that that is going to put anyone off I've never dated someone and been like oh they're circumcised or they're

not circumcised like that's a deal breaker either way it doesn't matter I think that from all the research now it's not really necessary like it used to be there are some certain conditions like when the foreskin is too tight for example and it can't be pulled back it can be really painful and that is actually a thing and that's where they will literally have to do it so I think in cases like that it's okay there are certain countries which like they highly recommend boys and men even get adult circumcisions which is like countries like Africa because it helps to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections so there are a whole bunch of medical reasons where it's like fine go nuts other than that there's just no real reason besides these few

medical issues to circumcise a child now except for purely aesthetic reasons i think something to think about too is and like obviously everyone's going to be different but i did speak to a number of people that we have researched it but it is widely known that sex is more sensitive when you have a foreskin it's just one of those things it's more it's supposedly more pleasurable they get more sensation in there than when they're not circumcised that is not taking away from saying that people that are circumcised don't have good sex because they do it's just that science says it's slightly more sensitive and pleasurable with your foreskin so there are pros and cons for both but it's also if you're going to be making a decision you need to probably have all the evidence write down a

list of pros and cons and make the decision on your own well I feel like more so for parents making the decision it's an aesthetic thing I don't think parents are making the decision based on like their kids sexual satisfaction 100% they should I'm not looking at my like five day old kid being like is he gonna have great sex when he's 18 I don't know but you should but I I think like you know it's a very culturally driven exercise you know and we have been brought up for in and like up until recently 80% of boys in the United States and in Australia were circumcised it's definitely losing popularity but one of the big reasons why we used to circumcise kids is for hygiene reasons because there was like this concern about infection there was a concern

about cleanliness we live in a clean fucking country teach your child to clean their penis like that is like that is where i sit on the scale of things and i have definitely this is why i say i prefer guys who are circumcised than guys who aren't i have in my i'm gonna i'm gonna say look not in my adult life because like I think from like 25 guys kind of get it but from 18 to 25 the amount of uncircumcised boys that I was with that didn't know how to wash their penis properly is what has emotionally scarred me from an uncircumcised man like what do you mean just a smelly penis like they didn't know that they needed to pull their foreskin back to wash their penis properly they just stand in the shower and let the water run over the whole thing

and so like that is the concept behind like the need for having cleanliness also look I mean something that I found really interesting I did a quick research on this when I was talking to Matt about it I mean this is not a secret because Matt's actually talked about on his own podcast so I'm going to say it on this but he'll probably fucking kill me for it you're going to put it out to an even bigger audience Matt got circumcised not as a baby so he was circumcised when he was in school because of some medical reasons and the reason why he wants to circumcise our child if we have one is because he doesn't want a kid to go through what he went through being someone who was older and being circumcised and being able to remember one the pain and two the experience

he said it was incredibly incredibly painful to go through as someone who was in primary school whereas as a baby obviously it's painful for the parents to see your child in pain but the baby doesn't remember it so they will be in pain but they don't remember they don't remember and so there is some pros and cons to that you know you have to take that trauma yourself because you're going to see your baby being really hurt by something that is completely elective but maybe you're saving them from the small percentage that there's someone down the track who needs to have a circumcision right and like ritz said there's reasons why adults have to have them maybe it's because their foreskin is too long maybe it's because their foreskin is too tight there's all

different reasons that are associated with that so obviously that's why matt is kind of keen to do that for our child but I think that this is really interesting because of the dropping rates of circumcision and also because of the controversial nature of it like you know you're essentially taking away that choice from someone to elect to do that themselves Iceland is actually moving to potentially ban elective circumcision and the reason for that is that you are exactly what I just said it should be a person's right to self-determination as to whether they want to be circumcised or not so doing that as a child if it's not necessary they're actually looking to ban it this has obviously had huge implications for jewish and muslim communities in iceland

because it is a religious and cultural expectation it's also a really important part of their ceremony so i mean like we said there's huge cultural implications but if it's purely for aesthetic reasons then i do think that there is some consideration that needs to go into it because in australia fewer and fewer people are actually being circumcised and so long as we teach our children to wash their penises pull back that foreskin give it a good old wash down we're gonna be fine teach them some hygiene it's like wash your hands wash your penis i mean have you ever been with a guy and thought i wish you were circumcised or does it make zero fucking difference to you in all honesty it doesn't make that much of a difference totally like i don't think i don't

think he's gonna grow up and be like damn i wish you did this the only time they have the only time it makes a difference is if there's more cheese in there than there is in your ham cheese croissant which is what laura just had for breakfast god i just got so scarred from my like 18 year old boyfriend who just did not wash his penis properly like i'm still like i'm 35 almost guys and i still live with that you still can't give matt a job okay question number three i don't think we answered anything completely well i think it's more just about about putting the pros and cons in and make you obviously have to make a decision on your own but you really need to think about how necessary something is well yeah and i think you know you and your partner have to be fully fully in

agreeance for this because the thing is too like if you don't it's the circus penis i mean if you don't circumcise them they have the option of circumcising themselves as an adult like i mean we all have well think of the plastic surgery think of the operations people have like it's just another thing to add to the list if you do circumcise them they can't go and reattach foreskin in 20 years like it's not a thing totally but like you know what it's so interesting isn't it because like like women like to have breast implants later on in life we don't see a girl who's 12 years old and go oh her boobs are going to be small we should probably put some breast implants in there do you know what i mean like for some reason it's just so culturally acceptable

to cut off the foreskin of a man like that because it's been happening since the beginning of time like it's been happening since jesus jesus was circumcised was he yeah he was jewish i don't really know about jesus but she still celebrates christmas jesus was circumcised something that's been considered the norm for so very long and I think that you know it's okay to question things that we do just because we've always done them but think about it your kid can always circumcise himself well he can't circumcise himself but he can always go and get it done do not try this at home okay question number three long story short me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago lots of shit went on but anyway I slept with a guy a few times and I'm already hooked I don't

want to but I know I already have feelings how the hell do you stop this from happening I swear I'm going to hurt myself so much if this keeps going because it's so easy for me to catch these feelings why am I catching feelings so easily oh I mean we've all been there right we've all had the rebound and caught feelings instantaneously not me emotionally void I definitely have I think I think you need to be you need to have self-awareness and like obviously you do obviously you know that you're prone to having strong feelings maybe prematurely and so not only do you need to have some self-awareness but you have to have some self-preservation and stop yourself like have some self-control there's a lot of self self self stuff in here but it comes down

to you like you're if you're having sex with someone if you know that being intimate with someone is when you start to catch the feels then maybe slow things down a bit and give yourself give yourself time to heal between the breakup and when you're actually ready to start dating someone else otherwise there is the potential that you just want to be loved and you want to be in love so bad that you end up transferring those feelings to the next person that comes along even if they're not the right person and even if they're not good for you yeah look my feelings on this uh i have friends that i guess we've we've referred to it in the past laura is like monkey branching and i'm not saying that's what you're doing guilty yeah laura's guilty i

friends I feel personally victimized on the other side of the couch I haven't friends Laura um no but I think the thing that you have to be really careful within this is I do think it's some self-reflection needs to happen because I think that when people develop these feelings really quickly it usually comes from a place of a level of insecurity a level of being a little bit scared possibly to be on your own which I want you to know is so common. So many women don't want to be on their own. They feel unloved. They feel like they can't be in their own company. They feel like they'll be forever alone. They feel like they can't get stuff done because they need a man to help them. And I think that that's a really dangerous place

to be. So I think if you, every time you're with someone and sleep with someone, you're forming these really deep feelings, I think you need to look at what the reason could be. Is it just that you are really really wanting a relationship if that is the case like laura said just slow it down a bit don't jump in head first don't spend every single day or vagina first don't have sex with them yeah maybe don't sleep with them straight away um and just try and spend some time on your own and really think about if you actually like this person or if you like the company and the feeling of being wanted and the feeling of not being alone because there's a there's a really big difference and I'm it's really important to differentiate the two about being lonely and being

alone like you need to realize if you are just lonely and that's why you're wanting these people my big thing was and I like now with like the beauty of hindsight and retrospect I can recognize it in myself but I would fall in love with people like I would become obsessed with people not even because I genuinely was obsessed with them or in love with them or even really liked them or even honestly thought that I was compatible with them but I liked someone who liked me like I I wanted to be loved and so when somebody showed me that they were giving me attention or affection or even sometimes when they weren't showing me that much attention or affection they were just spending their time with me I was like oh maybe I like them because they like me and I think that

that's a really big one especially if you're used to being with someone and you're used to having the company of a partner to find yourself being alone all of a sudden is it can feel a bit shit it does take a little bit of time to have that self-confidence of being alone and enjoying your own personal space in your own time and not being alone and lonely being alone and being really happy in your in yourself and and on your own I really really think that the number one thing that happens in a situation and the one thing that you need to really try and exercise is some self-control and some self like I know and I know that sounds patronizing I don't mean it like that you don't have self-control, but you recognize these traits in yourself. You're like, holy shit,

I'm already falling in love with this guy. It's only been a month since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. And look, there are some circumstances where this is totally fine. And there are some people who find the love of their life very quickly after, you know, falling out of love with somebody else. But you need to kind of reflect on why did you break up with your ex boyfriend? Why did that relationship end? Are you genuinely ready to get into another relationship or you're just doing it because you're lonely and if you're saying oh fuck like I know I'm I know I'm getting myself in deep then you're the one who has all the resources to stop yourself like you are not a victim you're not a victim you're not like being taken for a ride you are taking

yourself for a ride in this and you have every single opportunity now to go cool let's put the brakes on a little bit because I don't want to just throw my heart into the ring to be hurt again for me i'm really lucky actually that i got to a place where i'm so happy on my own and obviously i've been on my own for so long that i know now when i get feelings for someone when it's real because it happens so infrequently i'm so honest and open with myself when i'm dating someone and like laura you'll know i'll be like oh there's nothing there but like we had a lot of fun and oh and there's times where brit's like there's nothing there and i'm like you need to give it a chance and she's like no i'm all about like she's like i know what i want and i know what

I'm looking for and I'm not going to waste time on someone otherwise whereas like me back in the day when I was trying to fill my loneliness with someone I would like I would date a guy look I mean not every single guy obviously there were times where I was like there's nothing there but if there was like an inkling of something I would be like oh need to explore this I think you can just take things slowly well so now that when I meet someone and I feel something I'm like wow like this could actually be something because I know in myself I don't catch feelings easily because I'm okay on being my on my own and for me this is my number one piece of advice that I will give any woman in their life be okay on your own at one point in your life because then everything

else in your life becomes easier I promise you it seems silly but it's so important for it for every aspect of your life I totally agree and I also think like have the self-awareness like do you fall in love so easily I think that's something to be aware of as well like if you break up with this guy, or if you stopped seeing him, do you think that you're likely going to meet somebody else in a month's time and have these same strong feelings? Like, are you someone who falls in love super, super quick and things progress very quickly? Or are you someone who's normally more considered? Because, you know, there are times where you will meet someone shortly after breaking up with someone else and it just works and they are the right person and it is meant to be. We're

not saying that that doesn't happen, but if it always happens to you, if you're always in a relationship because you always find somebody within a couple of weeks of breaking up with somebody else and you always feel like oh my god now this one's the one then that's when you need to really start reassessing because I guarantee you you're not supposed to fall in love 12 times in a year no one has a hundred ones no you just don't and it does mean that maybe you have a type or maybe you are in some patterned behavior that you need to reassess but I would really question if you're falling in love or you're like you know being blown away by someone every other time you go on a date reassess that something else not every guy is that fucking amazing trust me or if

they are where the hell are they i'll give you them my address i have to go on a reality tv show to find one twice and i still didn't um something else to remember is and we've spoken about it a lot is like love bombing and chemistry and lust don't confuse all of them it's so easy in those first few weeks when you're with someone sex is great you're making out you're getting the butterflies you're having all those feelings it's really easy to confuse that with like this is the love I've been looking for when it's not you've got good chemistry and you're having great sex and there's a lot more that goes into like actually falling in love obviously 100% I'm gonna leave you guys with a spoiler wait I'm gonna say one more thing before you say that and it's

like something that we advocate from this podcast so much and that is that chemistry great chemistry is not an indication of a great relationship keep your eyes open and look for those red flags people keep your eyes open and your legs closed i mean whatever you're allowed to have your legs open you live your best life girlfriend we're not here to tell you what to do but we're just here to give you some guidance and if you know that sex makes you fall in love too quickly then maybe maybe think about it i'm gonna leave you guys with a spoiler i am catching feelings britney is in love no i'm not she's like red in the face now and she'll be like i've got goosebumps she's um it made me sound like such a knob britney has been spending a lot of time with a boy

i'm gonna just put that out there yeah but it's not love but i'm not yeah but for me it's the most most time i've ever spent with anyone in my existence i've never known britney to spend so much time with another person that it's weird does it look weird for you when you see us together yeah i've never okay so like for all the guys that britney's dated over the past year and a half i have not met any of them like never met them i hear about them and then i'm like well they all sound like fuckwits so i don't want to meet them then i'm really judgmental but like i've met this one he seems great so and so i feel weird with being with him in front of you i feel like i'm doing something wrong yeah because you know that i'm judging the whole time i'm like trying to

dissect and pick out what's going on so for everybody who's been following along or trying to dissect britney's love life on the facebook group which is life on cut podcast you're very good fbi detectives there is something going on there's something brewing we don't know what it is just yet it's still early days and I'm like I'm not prematurely share that with you because we've got no fucking filter in case you hopefully he doesn't listen I said he's not allowed to listen I banned him you guys spend too much time together anyway at the moment he'd have to go hard in the bathroom to listen what are you doing babe that sounds like my laugh coming from the bathroom also the main reason I said don't listen is I wasn't ready for him to hear my laugh

you can't contain that you've got to let that thing be free no i did it has come out no but not only does bruny have to contain her laugh the other day i came over here and he was leaving and he left the house and she was like thank fuck i've been needing to do a poo for like the last 40 minutes okay now great what if he does listen now he's gonna hear that and then i had to listen to her do a poop so there's no there's no secrecy between us guys okay let me just say it's not like i live in a mansion it's not like i don't have five toilets to go choose from and mind you i have to listen to your nervous poo before every podcast that we do i don't do them anymore i'm not so nervous about the podcast anymore i used to i used to every

single time we do an episode guys i'd have to go this is too much information but like i said why would we keep anything secret i used to have to go and do a wee and a poo before every single episode record because i used to get so nervous doing them okay can i just say no not only that she would she would arrive to the studio or the house wherever we're recording and she would go and do her poo and wee then she would come she would sit down she would have the headphones on we're about to press record and she would be like i just think i need to do one more nervous one and i was like babe like how many nervous ones are in there like have you clogged up for the week so she'd have to go and do another one i was like that guy off um georgia loves season on the

bachelorette which he had the crazy eyes i think his name was tim i don't remember i didn't watch it he he kept talking about nervous poos on the actual i don't know if anybody remembers this but he was from Wollongong I'm also from Wollongong maybe I'm related to him um there's five people it's like Tasmania he kept talking about doing a nervous poo because he was so scared about being on the show that was literally me but I never spoke about it until now so there you go sharing my secrecy nervous poos are actually a thing though like everyone listening has done a nervous poo in their life yeah I just don't do them as much as you maybe I don't get as nervous as you maybe I just don't care as much as you everyone does nervous poos

you definitely do more nervous poos than anyone I've met in my existence even like professional athletes all right and on that note guys we hope you've enjoyed another episode of life uncut if you have any questions for us for next week's episode you can always jump on the facebook group life uncut podcast or it's always great if you slide into our dms actually that's probably the easiest way send it to us on instagram which is also life uncut podcast brits one request is that when you send us a question put ask uncut at the top and if you're sending us an accidentally unfiltered story right accidentally unfiltered at the top so that when we can see the little preview of the message it makes it really easy for us to determine what is what um just some

housekeeping for us also I'm really frothing at the moment all the men that are messaging us that they're listening they're coming you're coming out more and more every time we mention it can you keep doing it because I love it I love to see the men that are listening who you are like what you're about what your age is and why you're listening just for my own curiosity so if you are a guy listening slide on it just because Brittany wants to know that she's got backup options in case things go fucking terribly wrong what if he listens don't listen and guys um you know the drill if you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet like really like that's our big push please go and subscribe like really what the fuck i really want you to subscribe um but that's because

uh that's because one it helps us grow but also because sometimes we get messages from you that says that you haven't received the episode yet or you're not able to download it if you've subscribed you'll be the first person to be able to receive the episode on apple podcast um apple is weird and doesn't drop it into everybody's inboxes or libraries at the same time so if you're ever having issues with it it can be because you're not subscribed and then just tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your cousin tell your friends tell everybody and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.