Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Crazy Hormones, Salmon Sperm Facials and Story Stalking

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Hey lifers! First up, TICKETS TO THE LIVE SHOW HERE!  Little update on Britt's fertility and where her (small) eggs are at! We unpack the weirdest beauty treatments including salmon sperm facials...We also talk about how it's refreshing to see people like Julia Morris being open with the cosmetic procedures they elect to have.Our vibes for the week:Britt: Point hacks au on instagramLaura: Painkiller on Netflix (and also Dope sick on Disney plus)Keeshia: Denton Ultime Pillow Then we jump into your questions: My ex and I have been broken up since march. He wanted to get back together, I didn't and so he blocked me on social media. I’ve found out that he has a new girlfriend of 2 months. A week ago unblocked me and started viewing all my stories. He doesn’t follow me so he has been intentionally looking me up and stalking me. I know I shouldn’t care but what the hell? I still have feelings but also know I don’t want to go there again and wouldn’t because he has a girlfriend. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ? Should you uninvite a friend from your birthday party if they don’t even text you on your birthday? Context, I’m having a limited seating birthday lunch and had to be tight with the number of people I invited. When I put the invite out a few weeks ago, she responded saying that she would like to come but wanted to bring her partner as well. I said yes, and allocated 2 of the limited seats to them. My party is coming up now, as I had my birthday last week but the thing is, I haven’t heard from her in weeks. I didn’t hear from her on my birthday and not since. I feel annoyed that I gave up 2 spots for them and feel like I want to tell them that they can’t come.  Is it crazy to message the family, mum in particular, of a guy who has ghosted you? We dated for a year, but we were long-distance. I was supposed to see him in 2 weeks for the first time this year but now he's ghosted me. He said he's super overwhelmed with work and it takes a toll on him but he loves me so much. Never did he ever say that we had ended, he simply has ghosted me. I can see that he's following a couple new girls on instagram, so clearly he has time on his hands. I want him to know that no one deserves this and he can't get away with treating people like this but he won't respond to my messages. I'm not going to keep pushing him but I want his family to know how he's treated me. I know it's a bit crazy, but I want to know whether it is completely unacceptable or not? If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollongong land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our Ask Uncut where we answer your deep, your dark, your dirty questions. They're actually not that dirty today.

They're not too dirty. They're very relationship-y today. They're deep. And they're dark. But they're not dirty. Guys, you might have seen the big announcement on the Instagrams yesterday for the live show. We announced that we have an amazing guest doing the entire tour with us. They're going to be performing and opening every show.

It is none other than Sam Fisher. Now, okay, if you don't know who Sam Fisher is, you're absolutely going to know his song. It's this song. The city's going to break my heart. The city's going to love me and leave me alone. The city's got me chasing stars. It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home.

Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? After Sydney's show, because Sydney was such an extravaganza last year and then we were like, what are we going to fucking do to top that show? So we are so incredibly stoked. Sam is going to be coming around to the country. He's going to be coming to New Zealand with us as well. Like we're all going to, you know, have matching bunk beds and tattoos apparently by the end of it, But we are so excited to be able to bring him as part of the Life Uncut Live show. He's going to be performing at the shows. He's going to be opening the shows for us.

So not only do you get to see Britt and I in all our glory, we're bringing along the whole team. Yeah, but it was really important to us because every show has different guests from that location or people that might be there at that time. So all the shows are going to be different with who's speaking, who we're interviewing. But one thing we did want to be consistent if we could was the performer, the person that was there to get the vibes going and we feel really lucky that we're able to do that with Sam Fisher.

He's an absolute gem. We're going to be this little tight family. I can't imagine actually the things that are going to unfold around the country and in New Zealand. He's also just like the nicest person. He's a fucking legend. He's so nice. He's such a nice guy.

And nice guys do not finish last. Sam, if you're listening to this, we love you. So if you haven't got your ticket yet, please jump on and get them before you miss out. Yeah, we'll stick some more links into the show notes and stuff, guys. The tickets have been selling out. like some locations are already very very very very very sold out some locations not quite as much and obviously places like new zealand if you've got friends family come we don't have as

bigger listenership in new zealand so like we will after this bring the crew and we will be putting on the best freaking show for you but brit you've just walked in the door after yet another fertility vaginal ultrasound kickstart my day how was that twice in one week yeah two days apart it's really high success rate so when you came on monday you'd just been and for anyone who's like just jumping on the bandwagon brit's in the midst of going through her second round of egg freezing yeah so monday brit went in for some tests and she had tiny baby little follicles which is not where they should be no it's fine they're tracking okay they're still a bit small it just means you uh do extra hormones so two days later i go in again to do the ultrasound the blood test again

they're still tracking small but they're still growing so they've grown so what happens normally so if you're going to go and do this treatment where they harvest your eggs i don't even know if that's the right word no it is i think it's harvesting and they get x amount would your body normally only released one and then all the hormones that you're taking is making them release heaps at one time is that how it works what you do is you're going in for the ultrasound to see how many follicles you have on each ovary because each ovary has follicles and each follicle has an egg does that make sense right so people have different amounts of follicles so when you're younger you might produce more follicles and they produce the eggs and you've got higher chance and

then as you get older you'll get less and less so i'm if anyone cares my ovaries i have seven on one side oh so you know how exactly they can say that's how many follicles are there yes so that's exactly how i know so i have seven on one side and six on the other side and each one is a different size it's pretty cool they're pretty cute when they pop up on the like that's my little baby follicles i'm like how follicles you're like get bigger get faster grow your little baby follicles little fuckers i was just thinking though you have to make a decision because it'll for me it'll happen over the next i think four days right that i'll go in and actually have the harvest but you don't really know i think by this afternoon she'll say look i think we're tracking

for three days time but then you get to choose whether you have an anesthetic and go under and go asleep so you go under you don't remember anything like proper ga they take them out and then you wake up half an hour later or you can have a local anesthetic where you're awake which i want to do because i want to watch what happens because when you're awake you can actually watch on the screen them like sucking the follicles out however they do that but the anesthetic has to go up into your cervix into your ovaries and apparently that part's painful four days time i'm almost at the end so thanks for bearing with me in this process again when you finish this process how many eggs do you want to have on ice so I have 15 eggs on ice from my last time which

was two and a half fish three years ago but my doctor has told me that 15 eggs equates to maybe one live birth which is crazy because you think oh 15 eggs is amazing that's so many but I guess that's just statistically speaking a lot of them don't survive and they're not viable they don't survive defrosting and then the ones that are left statistically don't take always one of the things I was literally just reading this before we jumped on because you were talking about it and it was saying that if you have 20 frozen eggs that statistically equates to an 80 chance of having one live baby when you think about the number that you need to have in order to have the safety net like I understand why you go through the process multiple times yeah and my understanding is this

time unless somehow I've missed it but I have so I have the seven and the six so 13 I had to quickly do the math then. So I have 13 total. My understanding is if I, if a hundred percent of those were great, I can only get 13. So it's already less than my last time. And last time I got 18 and 15 were freezable. So there's always a few that aren't even worth freezing. I just sort of put them in the Petri dish and be done with them. So anyway, I'll be stoked if I just get a couple. I mean, it'd be great if I got a hundred percent, I'm already less than last time. But if I can have a couple, which will make me feel like my chances are then two babies in the future. because if if my 15 could be one maybe another 12 could be hopefully another one so that's to

a weight of my shoulders i don't think i would do this process again yeah right yeah it's a few days now until you have the egg retrieval what day is that happening on they don't know so they they'll go off the blood test because they have to pick your peak ovulation egg release time it's time down to the hour well basically if there's an episode next week the brit isn't on it's because Honestly, she's in there and she's getting those little baby eggs harvest. I'm having the best sleep of my life. Speaking of age, I want to speak about Jennifer Aniston. Now, Jennifer Aniston is my, she always has been.

If there was someone I could be in Hollywood, it would be her. She's like almost a hall pass for me, even though, yeah, Channing Tatum's gone. It's Jennifer Aniston now. She's my hall pass. I love her, everything about her. Anyway, she's come out saying, she always talks about how she looks after her body. She's got a phenomenal body. She looks young.

she's so always so healthy and fit because she prioritizes her health she always has but she's come out saying that there's nothing she won't try and one of these things to stay ageless I find that interesting so I look at Jennifer Aniston and I would have said that she's one of the women who yes she looks amazing she looks way too like so much younger than what she is for her age but I would have looked at her and thought that she is aging in a way that doesn't look like she's had a lot of procedures done because I don't think she does do procedures in terms of, this is my understanding. I don't think she goes under the knife and I don't think she does,

my understanding is she doesn't do a lot of fillers and things like that. She doesn't change her face as such, but she does a lot of stuff that I would be into. You know how I'm always getting like lasers for pigment and all these different kinds of weird facials. But Jennifer Aniston has come out and said she has tried one other thing and it's a salmon sperm facial. So the sperm of the salmon.

There's got to be a line where you. I don't think there is. I mean, okay, would you use salmon sperm on your face if you thought it was going to – no guarantees, but it might make you look younger. Yeah, I'd let a salmon come on my face. If someone told me – Straight from the source.

Yeah, it has to be organic. It actually is organic. I don't think – okay, let's be serious. The salmon doesn't come on your face, Laura. Do you think they kill the salmon and then they take its sperm sac out and then you rub that on your face? This is grim. Do you know, I don't know.

But remember not that long ago we were talking about that. Well, I don't think they're taking the salmon out for a glass of wine and a nice dinner and then seeing them again next week. They might be. Don't know how else they would be doing it. But remember we did that really famous restaurant that started to do the salmon sperm on their sushi? Remember the Japanese restaurant?

People were paying hundreds of dollars for sperm from the fish. Wenbridge says, do you remember how we did it? What she means is when we spoke about it because we certainly We have not eaten salmon sperm nor have we put salmon sperm on our faces. I just want to make that really clear before Daily Mail runs an article. Okay. So if somebody said to you, Laura, you could stop your aging for six months but you have to be putting consistent salmon sperm on your face,

would you do it? You would. Yeah. Look, I think my line, the line in the sand would end with fish though. If you were like, hey, Laura, this bull over here, You just need to rub this on your face and you'll stay young. I think if it's a mammal, that's where my line in the sand is. So why is that?

I reckon I could do a reptile or I could do a chicken, but I don't think I could. Anything that lays an egg I could do, but I don't think I could do anything that has a live birth. So why does it have to lay an egg? I feel too close to it if it does a live birth. It feels too human-like. What if it was a whale?

No, so much. You'd do it. No, there's just some things I don't think I need to try. But if it had been like bottled up and put into nice packaging and like all that sort of stuff and someone just didn't tell me what it was fine it's the packaging for you you know how you can get placenta for your hair sheep's placenta to wash your hair with no everyone's looking at me like i'm crazy apparently yeah you can get it from the chemist there's like hair treatment and it is placenta hair treatment shut and it is sheep's placenta

you can put into your hair and you leave it in there and you do a treatment it's meant to be like really good for like restoring the bonds of your hair and damaged hair and it's a placenta i just think that there's too many weird things we're trying for some reason i don't know why because that makes sense to me placenta makes sense to me because it's full so many nutrients keeps babies alive but for some reason that hits different i think i'd rather the sperm i think i'd rather the sperm on the face to be clear salmon sperm for aging not just people doing that i reckon i'd give it a whirl i reckon you would too i wonder if anyone in sydney does it produce the keisha can you find out if there's if salmon sperm in sydney is a thing i bet that's

the weirdest thing you're gonna google today anyway it's probably not very the very last thing i'm talking about in terms of like beauty stuff and it's something i saw on instagram yesterday which i absolutely loved julia morris we love julia morris she gold logan nominee this year host of i'm a celebrity if you don't know who julia is i'm sure you do now last year julia posted that she was getting eye surgery is it called beloplasty i cannot ever say the word it's like the blepharoplasty basically it's where she has had like a portion of her upper eyelid to remove, to stop. And she said it was one, partly cosmetic, but it also was because her eyelids themselves, like her brow was so heavy that it was impeding her vision. Now, yesterday

on social media and Instagram, her surgeon posted a before and after photo of her eyes pre and post surgery. And I just think it is truly incredible to see someone who is at the front of Australian media being honest about their plastic surgery, talking about it in a way that doesn't incite shame, not just talking about it from a functional necessity, but also talking about it from aesthetic and cosmetic perspective, because as much as it's had both outcomes, I just think it's so refreshing to see someone show what they're doing to combat the signs of aging so that other people don't feel so bad when they look in the mirror and think, well, why don't I look like that? Absolutely. I think we're starting to see

more of a trend across the board of honesty, of honesty, a trend of honesty. I've just pulled up Julia's photos now. It's actually an incredible difference. And you can see why when it's a before and after you can see why she did it because she said it was hindering her eyesight her vision you can see in the pictures that it really is her eyes are completely different she looks incredible she looked incredible before but she looks amazing but she looks like 10 years younger but i think it's so interesting because you never ever ever see unless and it wasn't sponsored julia paid for the surgery you would only ever see a surgeon posting before and after photos if it was a sponsored job whereas if it's like an influencer who's gotten a freebie

and then they've sacrificed the anonymity around it because they're getting something out of it. But in this instance, Julia Morris, as far as I can see from the little bit of digging that I've done across news.com and also throughout social media, she's paid for this. This was not sponsored but she's very happy for other people to know that she has had work done and doesn't wear that as a sign of shame which I think we have been conditioned

to think it is. You know, who's doing it at the moment in Hollywood and I've read this the other day, Blac Chyna. remember black china used to be with rob kardashian and they had a baby they had a big falling out trying to sue each other and anyway that's irrelevant she has been reversing everything she's ever done to herself and showing the process so she's taking everything out she's dissolving all the fillers i think she took her butt implants out and she's going back to who she was and what she was before she ever altered anything but she's really honestly talking about it and she does look

like a different person but again she looks amazing but it's great because she's like hey this is what i did to myself and i loved it i loved who i was then changed my mind going back love myself now like does anyone know like what her transparency was though when she had the surgeries done initially because i think so often celebrities try and pass it off as though it's natural they try and pass it off as though the way in which they've just become more beautiful just time it just happened and i guess like the thing i love about julia in terms of like her aging she is an older woman who works within australian media and we know that there is like as women get older, their relevancy within the entertainment industry seems to go down.

And I know that there's been a shift in that over the last few years with people like Reese Witherspoon creating her own production company to allow for people and women who are of similar age to continue to have roles. But I just, I think it's so fucking refreshing. And I think it really starts to challenge the ideas around aging and the expectations on women to look a certain way. Amen. Amen. All right, let's get into Vibe and unsubscribe. All right, I'll kick mine off because it's a pretty short one, but I think it's going to be pretty handy for a lot of people. It's an Instagram page and it's called Point Hacks AU. So P-O-I-N-T H-A-C-K-S-A-U. Now, this is an Instagram page that I think is going to help a lot of people.

In the bio, it says the best guides, deals, and tips to earn and use frequent flyer points. Now, if anybody has frequent flyers in Australia, which a lot of people do, you will know that they are so fucking hard to actually use. You think it's great. Now I've only discovered this this year. You sign up, you think it's great. It's not. They only release certain seats at certain times and you've got to be on it. You can't just buy a flight and be like, I'm paying with my points. It's like, it's so difficult. Oh yeah. Matt's mom is like a points wheeler and dealer. She has like all these alternating credits. She's got Excel spreadsheets where she like opens and closes credit cards in order to get like, okay, I don't know whether

that's illegal, but she does it. She's so organized across it all. And then she like knows what flights and like what different types of, you know, white goods she can use to then redeem her points with. Yeah. It's really difficult. It's like her second job, but this is her hobby. She's a points wheeler. Well, maybe I need to speak to her. So because obviously now I'm dating Ben, I'm flying more. So I've never had points until now. And then I was like, oh, I better start to do them. I now have hundreds of thousands of points because I've earned so many. All right, flex.

And I can't – it's not a flex. I can't use them. I keep paying for everything. You can if you fly economy. No, you can't. Only certain – you cannot. This is my point. You do not go on and say I'll do this with – no, it's impossible.

So this Point Tax Things has amazing Instagram deals, tips. It has reels. it actually is just like you know how sometimes in our spare time we like to look at houses we can never afford you can pay for a house on points no he's just like sign me up no it has the same thing I like to look at some of these reels because it goes in and shows you like first class on certain flights and like what it's like and how you could use points around different tips to get it which I'm never going to do but I love also looking at the first class suites and stuff but it's got all these different ideas and tips on how to do it and some of them you don't even know

exists there are other airlines you don't know in conjunction with your airline you can transfer it you do three transfers and all of a sudden you can use them on a different airline so it's really really cool if you're out there and you've got these little fucking points like me that you can't use have a look at this instagram we'll link it in the bio do you have like the one airline like is that something that we need to be exclusive with nowadays because i i haven't committed myself to one particular i'll fly bonzo i'll fly anything i'll fly jetstar rex you get me on a cheap as flat i'm flying because this is obviously you guys don't do points this is what points are you sign up to points for an airline and the idea is so yeah and then they have to be working

together so i do emirates and minor quantus points but quantus points can be used with emirates but now i found out through point hacks that you can use them on like british airways but you have to be able to transfer them a certain way my recommendation for the week it is a series i mean i've seen it a little bit being recommended across instagram which is why i jumped on board and this is for anyone if you've seen dope sick on disney plus i watched it maybe like a year and a half ago now it is amazing this is another series it's called painkiller it's on netflix and it's another series which details how the opioid of like prescription drug crisis happened within the states it's so so so good so it's like this dramatized mini series it's all based around

the sackler family so the sackler family were the ones who created prescription opioids basically and got them onto the market also got them FDA approved but it's around all the lies that were told around how it was non-addictive how OxyContin was slow release also around the misinformation that they gave doctors in order to have them prescribe more and basically it's this real sort of storytelling around how ethics and the ethics of taking care of people were completely put aside for the incredible amount of money that was being made by the Sackler family. The Sackler family their company was called Purdue Pharma and when all of this came out Purdue Pharma dissolved but because the business itself was independent of the Sacklers they never ever were held

responsible for what they did to the drug addiction crisis within the states and that rolled out across the world it wasn't just affecting the states the series is so interesting I recommend watching this it's painkiller but if you enjoy this go and watch Dope Sick if you haven't seen that yet because it is unbelievably fucking amazing okay I'm very into that I'm gonna go home and watch it yeah I'm hooked okay my vibe for the week is kind of related to my vibe last week also thank you for all of your messages about how into sleep you all are because it's a thing guys it's a part of wellness now can I also jump in the amount of positive reviews around your vibes Keish like your vibes are a vibe yes thank you I did also see that I will read out

there was a review on the podcast that said it was captioned love this podcast but the comment was and producer Keisha's vibes are just chef's kiss that was from Keisha I got a lot of plant responses too I just don't feel the need to come on and talk about you talk about them all the time anyway my vibe for this week related to sleep is that I bought a new pillow on the weekend so I realized that you know from all the podcasts and stuff I've been listening to about sleep you're supposed to change your pillows like every two years yeah so my pillow was like a decade old which is kind of gross because mites and stuff live in there I'm very clean with my linen and I also clean it at least once or twice a week, my pillowcases. So I'm okay with

that. But anyway, it was time to replace the pillow. Pillows are such a, they're such a personal thing. You know, the softness that you like, if you like feathers or memory foam, I am a memory foam gal, but I tend to find that when it's too thick of a memory foam, it ends up hurting my ears. I don't know specifically why. Anyway, David Jones happened to have a 40% off pillow sale on the weekend so the pillow that I purchased Toblerone got a different one and now we're kind of like you know comparing the pair I got the Denton's all-time pillow it is the fucking best pillow I've ever had in my life I have slept like an angel I also got a sleep spray but I'll vibe that another week anyway they are pretty expensive they retail for 220 bucks so I recommend waiting

until they're on sale again because I got it 40% off and it was the best thing I bought in a long time also love that this podcast and now doubles as a sleep podcast while we're at this riveting conversation I'll just throw in my pillow I have a spinal ease pillow they're very comfortable and I got that for my headaches because it's like a like an orthopedic kind of pillow it's like it's very firm and it took a while to get used to but I love it but then probably every eight or nine days, I swap it for one night on a soft pillow and then I come back. Yeah. That's my sleep cycle. We really are redefining the definition of pillow talk. All right. We've just fucking put you all to sleep. Get into the questions.

Question number one. My ex and I have been broken up since March. He wanted to get back together and I didn't. So then he blocked me on social media. Now I found out that he has a new girlfriend of two months and a week ago, randomly, he unblocked me and started viewing all of my stories. Now, he doesn't follow me, so I know he has been intentionally looking me up and stalking me. I know I shouldn't care, but what the hell? I still have feelings, but also I don't want to go there again because I know he's got a new girlfriend. What does this all mean? Spoiler, this means nothing.

I mean, it means something, just not enough. It does not – okay, first of all, he's not stalking you. He's just looking at your Instagram stories. Stalking is a very serious word. He's just checking out your Instagram, which is the whole – He's insta-stalking. Yeah, but it's not, it's not, I don't know. I don't like that word because Instagram is a viewing platform. He's viewing, he's just viewing. He's doing what Instagram is made for. The reason

it's in your head and it could be why he's doing it. It could be a manipulation. I'm going to fuck with her tactic is because it does that to us. When we see someone that we had an interest with or someone like this that has blocked them, when you see them back in your feed and you know he doesn't follow you it's gonna start sending you slowly crazy and it is because you've written into us saying what does it mean i don't think it means anything he's got a new girlfriend i think it means he's probably thinking about you and wondered what you were doing it's the unblocking part for me that is a bit questionable but i think he has to unblock you to be able to view you properly right we always overstate like and i say we as like collectively we always human race

yeah as like as a human population right every single one of us i think we look for signs and we look for meaning and sometimes i think we overstate small things that really are insignificant but we put more meaning into them and the reason why i say this is because viewing somebody's instagram stories is so unbelievably insignificant do not use this as a benchmark of someone being interested in you and i say this because you could go out on a couple of dates with someone it might not work out with them you might like them they not might not like you and they still may view your Instagram stories and it could be from curiosity it could be from boredom people hate follow people totally it could be for a myriad of different reasons so trying to understand or

figure out the why behind that may just make you go insane personally what I think could be happening here is if he blocked you because originally you didn't want to get back with him. He was upset by that. He's now got a new girlfriend and he's happy. What that could mean is seeing you and looking at your content no longer is triggering for him, but he's still interested in knowing what you're doing. There's still obviously like a fondness or a care of some level, but he's got the validation and the love and the comfort of being in a relationship that he doesn't need to block you anymore because seeing you doesn't incite negative feelings or fear and I say this because like I am married I have children with my husband I fucking love him

to death I have zero interest in my ex-boyfriends that every so often I'm like what's that bozo up to and I'll go and look but does it not bother you that they are gonna see you in this story nah I'm like hey I hope that fucks him up a bit no I'm joking I don't really care I could the thing is I don't I don't care at all if he sees that I've looked at his stories and it's because I have zero care I'm only the reason why I look is because purely I find it fucking fascinating that these people were like such an integral part of my life that I spent every day with them that like I knew them better than anyone and they knew me better than anyone and now they're complete strangers to me and they live this totally alternate life and every so often I'm like wow

what does that life look like it's so interesting it definitely we cannot drive this home enough it definitely doesn't mean anything but what I do want to say is that sometimes it does mean something but it doesn't matter no because sometimes sometimes i think you have to take it with a grain of salt it's what else they do around it you can't just take this one instagram view as meaning anything it's if they're messaging you as well if they're fire flaming you if they're literally messaging your phone number not just instagram this is all different because if somebody is interested in you as well if you do go on a date with someone and they're really interested they are going to be looking at your stories as well they are going to be commenting

so it can mean something the reason and I completely understand the reason this is fucking you up is because there are three parts to it he's unblocked you so he's been thinking enough he's got a new girlfriend you're still in his thoughts enough to be like I might unblock her but then he hasn't unblocked you enough to follow you he's not following you but he still wants to know enough to look at your story so he's thought about you enough to unblock you doesn't give a fuck enough to follow you but still gives enough fucks to look at your instagram story it's a head fuck yes but the reason why i think he unblocked her and this is me just like trying to psychoanalyze we know nothing we're just trying to get to the root cause with that very little bits of information

we have is because he wants her to know that he's in a relationship he wants you to know that he's happy he wants you to feel a bit jealous but does that matter does that mean anything like should to give you any validation that he still wants to be with you. No, it means nothing in the big scheme of things. And what it does mean is that you should block him because you could be having a great day. You could be, you know, not even thinking about him, getting on with your life, hanging out with your girlfriends. And then you open up Instagram and you see that this guy who you used to date, who you still have fond memories with, him watching your stories has interrupted your ability to be happy and your happiness. And I think like if he's going to do that and he's

going to permeate your life still by this like random view on instagram just block him you don't need it and it's not going to go anywhere or mean anything but then the overthinking part of the woman you're like oh my god don't block it no the overthinking part of the woman then says but why does he want me to be jealous does he want me back is that why he wants it does he want me to reach out fucking forget it he's got a girlfriend let him see you post a thirst trap getting your hottest little bikini get down have some fun have a drink have a margarita thirst trap him let him sit there and look at your stories who cares i have a question for you brit would you ever yes take a screenshot send it and say why are you still watching my stories would you ever do it

i know this is something would you ever i haven't i've never done it because i don't care i would you ever call a spade a spade and instead of writing it into someone like us so we can sit here and unpack it would you ever just screenshot it and send it back and say hey looks like you're happy in your new life like why are you still watching my stories no go away no because i don't ever want to give them the satisfaction i want to pretend because it would drive them insane that i don't know they're watching my stories i'm the opposite silence is seriously the strongest response they don't know if you've seen it that will drive them insane if you give them a response there's a satisfaction there don't give them the validation don't give them the satisfaction

pretend you're living your best life and you're not even looking at your story views i also want to know let's put a poll up I want to know who out there looks at their ex's content purely out of just interest not because you still hold a flame for them and I'm talking like not a single iota of wanting to be with them but purely out of I want to know what they're doing in their life because I it's like watching a tv show okay interesting to me I will make an admission you look at Jordan every so often no that's not my admission I never look at Jordan Instagram I never because it's I don't really want to see what he's doing in his life because I've moved on and I'm happy but I do google his tennis results I always want to see how he's playing

so that's it I don't know and it's not so it's not to see what he's doing day to day who he's hanging out with does he have a girlfriend but I will want to know sometimes how he's gone in a big tournament I can say this openly because Ben knows that like Ben likes tennis he follows a lot of tennis so we'll sometimes at the big tournaments be talking about how people went or who they're playing Jordan played Djokovic who was like number one in the world not that long ago at one of the big tournaments and you know Ben and I spoke about it we're like oh he's playing Djokovic like and I feel like that's why it's okay to do it because it's it's a part of the sport that I'm actually interested in I google all the Australian players all the time and see how they're going

so I feel like that's okay but I don't ever go and look at any exes Instagrams anyone I've ever dated the good thing about Jordan is he never posts anything there's nothing interesting to either like why would you look all right let's get into question number two all right this is a this is an interesting one should you uninvite a friend from your birthday party if they didn't even text you on your birthday context I'm having a limited seating birthday lunch and had to be tight with the numbers of people I invited when I put the invite out a few weeks ago she responded saying that she would like to come but wanted to bring her partner as well I said sure I allocated two of the limited seats to them my party is coming up now and as I had my birthday last week

the thing is I haven't heard from her in weeks didn't hear from her on my birthday no message no call nothing I feel annoyed that I gave up two spots for them at this limited seating they didn't even text me can I tell them they can't come I mean yeah you could tell they can't come but I think you have to also be ready for the fact that it probably will be the end of your friendship like if you're gonna write to someone and say hey just letting you know you're no longer invited to my birthday also I don't know why you didn't wish me a happy birthday I think it's a pretty clear indication that that friendship is broken now it does mean you put in a lot of weight on the friendship based on one text on one day that is another thing you don't know what might

have slipped past someone or they might have forgotten or I think there's a lot of weight to say fuck you you didn't text me on my birthday you can't come to my party and we're not friends anymore do you think that because they know they're going to see you on the day of your birthday party that they were just kind of like oh I'll just wish you happy birthday then like for some people birthdays are so significant and some people don't care about them at all and because they don't care about them they don't place the importance on them for other people as well I think you know and it's kind of it also comes down to this conversation around like love languages like some people really they are so important to them and getting happy birthday and getting all the

love and the adoration the affirmation and stuff is really important to them on that day so for some people it will hit differently whereas like I don't think I would care as much would I uninvite them to my birthday no but I do think I would assess how involved they are in my friendship throughout the rest of the year like do they show up when they say they're going to show up do they am I the one that's always instigating the friendship the hangouts and I think that's where it starts to really present whether the friendship's one-sided or not yeah I think when you get to I don't want to say our age but when you're an adult it is different and sometimes you have friendships and you don't know why sometimes you have friendships because you've had friendships

for a long time you don't really see them you don't turn up for them they're not turning up for you but an event like this happens and you're like oh I should probably invite them and when you really get down to the nitty-gritty you're like well hang on why should I invite them just because we've known each other for 15 years like I think that's a really good point to reassess the friendship and how much you actually see them or is it like oh well I better get everybody my life together because this is the day I was born. But I also think social media and Facebook has made us really lazy when it comes to birthdays because so many of us don't have it in our personal calendars. We expect Facebook to remind us when people's actual birthday days are. And I'm guilty

of this. Facebook tells me when everyone's birthday is. The issue is, is that I'm hardly ever on Facebook. So I often miss people's birthdays because I don't see the notifications around it so it's really easy for people now to miss significant birthdays because we don't take we don't take enough sort of like accountability or responsibility because we expect all of the things that make our life easier to tell us when these big milestones are happening and often it just doesn't and I say this because like two days ago it was one of my closest friend Todd's birthday and the day after I was like shit it was your birthday yesterday and he was like yeah man and I have COVID happy birthday Todd but it's because I wasn't on social media and like I am

not a dates person and I don't remember dates and I think that there's a lot of people who relate to that well because it's your friend Todd who I don't know but in your life right now his birthday is not a priority you're running businesses and jobs you've got two kids at home you're really really busy it's not at the forefront of your mind to stop at the end of the day and be like I wonder if any of my friends birthdays are coming up like it's just one of those things that and for me if people forget my birthday I don't I don't care you could have forgotten my birthday and I wouldn't have cared as much I would have waited until you were like fuck was your birthday and I probably would have paid you out and given you a hard time but I wouldn't go to bed that night

being really sad that somebody forgot but that's because it's a personal thing and it's a bit different for me but it also depends I don't know it depends on who it is and it depends on the closeness of that friendship and yes it depends on what they've got going on in their life but it can't always be that that person has too much going on in their life that they forget constantly the things that are important to you because otherwise that's where it goes back to this idea that it shows itself that the friendship is one-sided so I think it is really important to assess is this just a one-off thing and if it isn't a one-off thing if this is like repeated behavior where this friend is consistently showing that they are not reliable and they don't make you

feel special or loved or that they're even a friend then I think it's okay to uninvite someone to your birthday but I think uninviting someone to something that's significant is definitely going to have a like a long-term impact on that friendship and it could be the end of the friendship which may be okay for you they might forget you even have the lunch they fucking might not show up if you don't remind them yeah that's what i mean don't remind them don't remind them and then don't have a seat for them and then see if they come and then deal with that problem okay all right question number three oh this is so crazy but yes i like it is it crazy to message the family the mum in particular of a guy who has ghosted you for context we dated for a year

but we were long distance we were really close spent every day with each other when we were together and since we've been apart we put in so much effort to make the relationship work just before I was meant to see him this year he ghosted me and has completely ghosted me for the past month he said he's really overwhelmed with work and has used all the excuses I can see that he's following a couple of new girls on Instagram so clearly he has time on his hands and I want to know what I've done to deserve this and I want his family to know how bad he has treated me. Is it crazy for me to text the mum? I'm just trying to get my head around the were they in a proper relationship because that's pretty fucking cooked if you were dating someone

for an entire year and then they disappeared I wouldn't be calling the mum I'd be calling the police I'd be like yo got a missing person imagine if Ben just stopped texting you would you call his mom yeah probably out of concerns for his welfare I'd probably be like um he's disappeared but if this was if this was not an actual relationship and you were dating quote unquote for a year you know how you can sometimes see people but it's not official like all of our history our whole entire life like that one guy in Bondi that I dated for an entire year but didn't want to be my boyfriend I dated someone for three years and it was not my boyfriend so like no I wouldn't have called his mom because his mom would have been like who the fuck are you exactly I feel

like this is a tricky one if you were in a really serious relationship and he's disappeared yeah you can message the family if you were just casually seeing each other and he's drifted off and you see that he's not disappeared and he's in fact active on the bikini website and um he's on the like like like fire flame train of yeah of like bikini.com.au if that's happening then I don't think you should personally I don't think you should message his mom because he has made a pretty big choice that you are not important in his life and he doesn't want to see you and he doesn't want to speak to you he doesn't want to return your calls I think going to the mom it feels like quite and guys just for me I just feel like it's quite an immature thing it's

something that I feel like I would have done I think I did do it when I was like 17 I remember my boyfriend was breaking up with me and I started to speak to the mom because I was like I'll get back to him through the mom I would not do it okay I think yes it's immature I think that when you are hurting and you have been given zero closure you will do anything to try and get closure and this is obviously you are trying to either a get answers or b make him suffer a little bit like you want him to be in trouble for treating people badly you want the people he loves and the people who love him to know that he has a side of himself which is careless and hurtful and he doesn't care about people's feelings and I understand why you want other people to know

that you want him to suffer for the way that he's treated you can you text the mum fucking you can do whatever you want if you want to text his mum go for it will it make you feel better will it solve the hurt that you're feeling no only time is going to do that and sometimes when you're ghosted in life you have to find a give yourself closure you've got to come to a realization that this person doesn't want to be with you that it's nothing that you did or said the responsibility of that and the the problem lies completely with the ghoster not the person who has been ghosted but I want to say this if you think if you genuinely think it's going to give you some closure to text his mum and you're just going to drop a bomb and walk away do whatever you want

girlfriend like there's worse things you could do in life and if texting the mum is the worst of it go for it you know I don't think that's what it is too I think the reason most people want to text the mom is because they think that I'm using heterosexual here and I'm using women and men, but they think that the mom and sons have these really tight relationships. I don't think it's to get back at them or make him suffer. I think it's the opposite. You're in a, with someone that you love or you were with them because you want to be with them. So you still want to be with this person. I think the idea is you go to the mom, you're like, I don't know what happened. I just love him so much. And I'm so, and you think that she's going to feed that back and it's going to

stitch the relationship back together i can tell you it doesn't work like that it will put him off more but you going behind his back to the mom he's not going to be affected when his mom goes sharon called me and she's upset that you've disappeared and she's just such a lovely girl it'll make him hate you he'll be like you hate it and at the end of the day no one likes being in trouble for their mom totally at the end of the day the guy's treating you like shit so either something's really wrong and you need to find out or he's just ghosted you because he's a dickhead and he's moved on which it sounds like he has because she said he's on all these other instagrams yeah i think look ghosting is such a cruel and we've spoken about it many times in the past but

ghosting such a cruel way to treat someone it's such a dismissive and it gives you such a little validation about what happened or or why you are so undeserving of just a text or just a bit of closure but it usually comes from someone who is hugely conflict avoidant and it's it comes from someone who has a deficit in their own life it doesn't mean that you like i said that you have done anything wrong and I think take closure from the fact that you are being treated this way take closure from the fact that you don't want to be with someone who could treat someone that they cared about in such a disposable nature and it doesn't matter what his mum has to say on the matter like you can be the bigger person in this instance and just walk away from it and block his

ass well I understand that's easier said than done because when you actually sit in it and think about you you've been with someone that you have feelings for for a year and they've disappeared you do want closure like you want to know or at least why and it's a really sad feeling to think that how could this person that loved me and that I loved that I could have spent my life with how can they all of a sudden treat me like I'm nothing and it really wears you down what I would say is it's easy for us to say block him ignore him move on but you're not going to do that I don't think you message the mum I think you send one more message to your slash ex-partner partner ex-partner I don't know what he is I would send one more that's not angry but that's you can be emotive

I would just say look at least let me know you're okay because I have not heard one thing from you I do not understand it if you can please you know just one message if you can just please have the decency and respect to write back to me to at a minimum let me know you're okay and what's happening because you don't know if he's going through some mental spiral I mean you don't know and if you know he receives that and he ignores you it's time to move on you've done it you've reached out one more time and you're gonna have to try and find closure in a different capacity because this fucker's not gonna give it to you yeah yeah i mean god i just i hate the idea of having to beg for someone to it's horrible like i don't want to beg someone to write back

to me like please tell me you're okay yeah but you do you do though i hope you're not okay actually i don't mean that but i don't know i think that people treat people disposably and sometimes we can think that the relationship meant more because it means so much to us and so especially if you say like like i mean the big question on this one that we don't know the answer to is were you in were you boyfriend girlfriend were you actually in a relationship were you in love were you seeing each other and so for you it meant a lot more than it did to him obviously i think is probably the big place to start all right well that is it from us and your ask uncut so if you have another ask uncut you have a question you want to send in send it in on our socials which is at life uncut

podcast on Instagram, or you can also go and follow us on TikTok. And if you missed Tuesday's episode, go back and have a listen. It was truly such a beautiful ep. We interviewed Lottie Bowser and she, I mean, she speaks about grief in the most incredible way. Her vulnerability around losing her partner. Lottie spoke about grief. She spoke about the trauma of losing her fiance. He passed away during COVID. He was suffering with cancer and then contracted COVID himself because his immune system was so suppressed. But her story around what happened is almost unbelievable what she went through. But I think the thing that was for me, it was so beautiful about this is talking about life after death, talking about how to support someone who is going

through grief and just talking about what it's like to lose someone who you love because so many times and so often people hide away from those conversations because death makes people feel so uncomfortable she speaks about how it's different being a young widow and you're almost in a young widows club and obviously grief is grief a loss is a loss at no matter what age but a lot of people think there's a different expectation on moving on when you're younger or maybe it shouldn't hurt as much if it hasn't been 35 years you've been with someone I found it a really interesting chat and also so interesting how she connected with other people all around the world like Elodie Pullen who we've had on the podcast before

she lost her partner Chumpy really suddenly and these two have become really good friends and it was just a really really beautiful insightful chat so we cannot recommend that one enough and if you guys have ever listened to any episode or you've ever loved any but you don't actually follow the podcast or you haven't actually subscribed we're going to ask you to please do that because it actually makes a really big difference it makes a big difference to helping the podcast grow helping us get amazing guests on doesn't cost you anything it's all free but it's just in your podcast app you just hit the little plus follow button or subscribe in depending on what app you're in but it really makes a difference it also means that episode's going

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