Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Ex-Husband’s Emails… And She’s STILL Reading Them 👀

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions! Britt has been in Italy and Laura has had a baby! If you found out the gender of your baby when you were pregnant, was it correct? Google AI says it’s wrong in Australia about 5% of the time. We’d love to know if yours wasn’t right!Apparently if you’re really into true crime, you need to evaluate ‘why trauma feels comforting to you’. Britt feels a little attacked by this info and she also thinks it doesn’t make sense. Vibes for the week:Britt - Dexter Original Sin  Keeshia - KW ceramics reusable cup  Then we get into your questions! FRIEND HAS ACCESS TO HER EX HUSBANDS EMAIL AND I THINK ITS UNETHICALI’ve just found out my good friend has access to her ex-husbands emails. She recently told me she saw something in his emails. It was a fleeting comment and I didn’t think much of it until I realised how unethical and inappropriate it is. They got divorced 2-3 years ago and it was quite toxic and their relationship is still very toxic. I’m really close with both of them, I don’t want to ruin our friendship by telling him but I think it’s extremely inappropriate and potentially illegal that she has access to his emails. I have no idea how to approach the situation. Please help. MUM WON’T GET WHOOPING VAX FOR MY NEW BABYHi ladies, OG listener here. I’m stuck in a pickle. I’m 17 weeks pregnant. Here’s where I’m stuck - during COVID my mum became really anti-vax. She was never like this previously, my siblings and I got all our childhood vaccinations. I work in healthcare and always get flu shots, got my COVID boosters etc. I’m really nervous about asking her to get vaccinated for whooping cough before the baby comes. Originally she only cared about the Covid vax but since has gone down a lot of conspiracy rabbit holes in regards to healthcare in general and I’ve heard her make comments about other vaccines. I admit no one will be holding or touching my baby without one and I know my partner and his family would back me up on this. How would you approach this conversation? She is known to be rather reactive so I don’t want to make a drama out of it, rather approach it gently.  DO I DELETE PICS OF EX FROM IG BEFORE NEW PARTNERS FOLLOW ME?Should I delete photos with my ex on Instagram before I let the new people I date follow me? I broke up with my ex 3 months ago, and I have one in-feed picture of him and I sitting on a boat (not super coupley but coupley enough) I love the photo - I am so happy in that photo, and nothing bad happened between me and my ex. The photo was from late last year. I am not sure to remove it in case it makes my (potential) future partners uncomfortable? I wouldn’t care if they had a photo of their ex on their Insta. Not sure what to do here (and neither do my friends!) FOUND OUT MY SISTER CHEATED ON HER HUSBAND AND NOW I SEE HER DIFFERENTLYI recently found out that my sister cheated on my brother-in-law last year. We’re a very close family—it’s just the two of us, and our kids and partners are all really connected. I knew about the man she had been flirting with and often warned her, reminding her of how good her husband is and encouraging her to work on her marriage if things weren’t going well. Now that I know she went through with it, I feel devastated. Her husband knows and, while deeply hurt, he wants to try and work things out. For me, loyalty, trust, and respect are core values, and I feel like she has not only let her husband and kids down but also me and everyone close to her. She struggles with mental health and was drinking a lot at the time, but I still feel conflicted. I can’t help but see her differently now, and I feel hurt that she could lie about it for so long while looking us in the eye. How can I move forward from this? What can I say to her to express how upset and disappointed I am, without damaging our bond forever? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camarago land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Keisha. Ciao bella! How was your time in Italy? Took me a hot second to wonder why you were speaking Italian to me, because yes, I have been in Italy for two weeks, but technically this is recorded just before Italy so when you said ciao right now I was like what I was like have you got ready for the Italian holiday no Laura as you guys know you're part of the family Laura should have assuming had a baby by now baby three should be here which is very exciting I'd be more excited if I knew it had

happened but we don't know what is happening we don't know when we don't know how we don't know how fast that little slippery sucker is going to shoot out but we had to prepare ahead of time in case she went early so this has been just pre-recorded but I'm pretty sure you guys are going to be getting a birth episode in your hot little hands in two days time yes so that episode will be I mean if all things go to plan which you know we're assuming that they will and we're very much hoping that they will no us no us probably not tomorrow Laura will be in the studio to record an episode all about the birth of their third child and sharing all of the details so if you have any questions today's kind of going to be your last day to get them in because we're recording

tomorrow morning um so send those through to life uncut podcast on instagram you know what is interesting because like this is happening in the future right now but by the time this episode comes out it's in the past i don't know if i would have pre-recording works yes i don't know if i would have delivered laura's baby yet oh you reckon you're going to be there for it now hear me out if it comes if the baby comes and we have to say it now she because laura doesn't know what name she wants again you never know they could have gotten it wrong on the scans I would really love to hear from people who were told the gender of their baby only to then deliver the baby and they were wrong on the scans it does happen but how often do you reckon it happens do you reckon

it's common I'll do a google yeah I wouldn't say common let's look that up but I wouldn't say it's common but it definitely happens I think it happens a lot with twins as well maybe like they just get them mixed up okay I've just googled and this is based off of AI in a way I never on trust they are i know i never know you know how google now has it it says that in australia a baby's gender is rarely wrong if you get the nipt test or nip test around 20 weeks you will have rates exceeding 95 accuracy that's still five percent wrong yeah it still happens it still happens but i don't think it's happening with laura but laura did say that if the baby comes before i get on my flight to italy that i'm allowed to okay she didn't say deliver it i added

that in, but I'm allowed to. I was like, yes, Laura, I will deliver your baby. She's like, absolutely not. You have been asking her if you can do the stretch and sweep more frequently than what I think would be normal. I've been practicing. So every day we sit down before we record, I look her in the eye and I do this. And I don't think that's how you do it. That will be funnier for people watching on YouTube, for audio listeners. Britt did some weird flicking thing with her fingers and her hands. Stretch and sweep, put things in. But she did say I was allowed to go into the delivery suite with her if I'm still here. And you know what she said? I let her sign my wedding certificate and she said that I could cut the umbilical cord.

Oh, that's a good trade-off. Do you feel a little bit like FOMO? Not really, if I'm honest. I just feel like back in my science days, I remember being in the lab a lot and having to do a lot of dissections and I don't miss it. It's something that I kind of feel like I never felt queasy about it, but it's definitely not something that I'm like, wow, I really miss those days. I've watched cesareans and stuff like when I used to be in the hospital I've watched births

that stuff's fine but I've never felt or had to cut an umbilical cord like I've never had a reason to have to do it but Laura said it's like a squid like you're going for a seafood dinner there's calamari and you try and chop it up that's what it's like it's slipperier than what I would have assumed yeah before I did my first dissection of one I was quite surprised by the texture anyway people who have got like aversions to this stuff are just going to be like this is so gross but I'm not allowed to birth the baby but I can help her birth a placenta so she said I can get the leftovers I think we should leave that to the professional okay would you take a placenta home and do anything with it do you know what that's an interesting chat I reckon I would I

have some friends that had the because you can have it's a whole business out you can get the placenta made into capsules so like somebody comes and picks it up you've paid them x amount they go home they put it into capsules it's supposed to be the quickest way for you to heal your body so they package it up and they send it back to you and then it's like taking a supplement but it's your own placenta yeah i just don't know where the line of cannibalism comes in like but if you actually think about it it's pretty fascinating like the placenta is the most powerful thing in the world in terms of growth and keeping you alive like it literally is the only thing that's growing a human inside your body imagine what that could do for you i don't know what the science is behind

it i haven't looked that deep into it but i reckon i'd be the kind of person that would do it i feel Like, I'll just, you know, stick to the regular, what I can get from Coles and worse. But you do you. No judgment from me whatsoever. And speaking of judgment, I actually have a question to ask you before we get into our vibes and unsubscribes. Hit me. And it's about a lot of the vibes that you tend to bring to the show.

You are our certified true crime girly. This is going to be an attack. It's not an attack. But if ever I see something that comes across like Instagram or even on Netflix or something like that, it's even loosely related to true crime. You're the only person I send it to. So I'm like, I feel like you might like this. Yeah.

Yeah, but I feel like you're sort of, you dabble in true crime. Not so much true crime. I don't mind like crime shows, but when it comes to true crime, I think that it piques a specific part of my anxiety that's just like not good for me, you know, especially before bedtime. Yeah, we had a chat in the podcast a while ago about like Jeffrey Dahmer and the romanticizing or like Hollywoodizing of true crime. Yeah, yeah.

So there's a psychologist named Dr. Tamer Bryant and she has come out saying basically this is an attack on people who love true crime. And she's saying that if you consume a lot of violent media, it might be for a very specific reason. And it's essentially because that trauma feels familiar to you. So she's gone as far as saying if your idea of relaxing before you go to bed is to watch three episodes of Law and Order, I would encourage you to think about why is trauma relaxing to me? That is a big blanket statement because I go to bed most nights either having listened to true crime or having consumed it like it's it would be my number one piece of content that I consume but I don't have any trauma like I was far as I know unless it's

very suppressed trauma with a little t definitely not capital t no I'm like I've said this a few times on the podcast but I have had like a very stable upbringing you know when I I've had traumatic things as an adult I feel like everyone does but when you look at you know reasonings like whatever Tamer Bryant just said no my my childhood was wholesome full of love I was safe and secure there was no violence like I have nothing to explain the sickness in my brain now and my addiction to true crime I don't know I don't know you're looking at me like you're judging me but no no I'm definitely not judging you I'm also kind of trying to unpack whether there's a difference but firstly I think there's a difference between watching something violent like a TV show she gave

the example of Law and Order that's a scripted tv show it's not real for me I have no problem watching that it's for when it actually is real that I get a lot more anxiety about it because I think that I put myself in that situation and I wonder whether maybe that could happen to me or like how can I try and avoid this type of thing happening in my own life but I think that there's a type of psychology that if you're a normal person who would never do acts of evil like that it can be interesting to kind of go down the path and and almost the voyeurism maybe of trying to understand what makes people so different psychologically from what we are do you know what I mean by that but that's where I think my fascination comes from and it's also I guess

there's maybe I don't know a level of escapism but I don't even know what maybe that's the wrong word because escapism should be like a travel show to the Maldives like escapism shouldn't be like watching Jeffrey Dahmer or something like that but I've looked into this before and spoken about it she's not the only psychologist there are so many psychologists that have spoken about the fact that it's a red flag if you like to consume that kind of thing. The number one podcast in Australia is True Crime. And when a new series is dropped and it goes to number one, it's like a one-off True Crime series, like an ABC investigation. So I just think it's a pretty blanket statement when that many people are loving to consume it.

Yeah. I mean, that statement kind of says a lot about the population, but I do think that there is actually an element that, you know, we could unpack and we could kind of speak about and just trying to have a little bit of awareness around because there is just I mean we've spoken about this before we've done an episode together on monsters and we both kind of had very different perspectives on our consumption of true crime because something about it does feel inherently icky and a little bit exploitative to me because at the end of the day there is always going to be pain at the bottom of it you know that's someone's family and that's someone's loved one and and I definitely I don't want to kind of blanket statement this and taint everything

with the same brush but there are versions of it that I think are more respectful to families and there are versions that I think are pretty gross. Well interesting because I didn't know you're going to bring this up but I was also just about to tell you that the next monster is coming out which is bad timing for me to say that I'm excited to see it but the next monster is coming out and it's based on the serial killer that things like Silence of the Lambs and Texas Chainsaw Massacre say that three times fast they were based on like a real life serial killer and that's what the next monster he's going to be based on. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. But growing up, I used to want to be a criminologist to the point that like, I looked into doing the degree when I, you know,

you do those uni days. I wanted to be in forensics or criminology. And the only reason I didn't was because, and I still remember this. I remember when you go around and there's the desks and you get to speak to people from each discipline. And I remember this girl just saying, probably wasn't allowed to say, she's like, don't do this course. There are no jobs in it. She's like, it's a brilliant course you will not get work she's like there's like 10 jobs that are that are interesting across the country she's like don't get sucked into thinking it's like the criminal minds and then you know so I could have been a criminologist yeah I remember like a similar ish experience I was doing a particular course called molecular genetics at uni and one of the lecturers the

guest lecturers was a person who headed up the disaster victim identification of like mass things like tsunamis and that kind of thing and hearing about her experiences I just remember having this thing click where I was like oh it would actually be really hard to do this job yeah you would become so desensitized and some of the things that she spoke about you know she would present in court for certain like horrible crimes like things like sexual assaults and that kind of thing and explain the genetic evidence to people in the court yeah and I just thought wow that would be a really hard thing emotionally you know to do for a certain period of time and that was the kind of thing that made me be like that track definitely isn't for me I don't think I'd be able to kind of take

that load home yeah I do wonder what it means because I can consume something and then just go to bed and I'm fine I can have something happen like switch it off and I go home and it's off or I go to bed and it's off like it's like my brain can put it in maybe I'm a psychopath maybe I'm a but my vibe is not true crime but it's crime okay so Dexter everybody knows Dexter right I was late to the party I started watching Dexter maybe two years ago but I'm pretty sure it's been out for like 10 years I love it but there is a new season that is literally out now week to week on Paramount it's essentially season seven but it's not it's called Dexter Resurrections and it's season one So whilst it's like you need to watch the whole Dexter series, this would feel like

it's the seventh season, but they've called it Resurrection 1. And I don't want to tell you too much about it because if you haven't seen it all, it's going to give it away. But if you haven't seen Dexter at all, go and watch the entire series from scratch. You'll love it. If you were early to the party, unlike me, go and watch on, it's on Paramount in Australia, but it is dropping week to week. I think there's like four or five out at the moment.

But I am absolutely obsessed with it. But you can't go and watch it standalone. You need to see the history. I have really bad news for you. What? They have cancelled. Oh, I know. I already know.

Yeah, they've axed it. So they said, yeah, I just Googled it because I was like, I saw something about this in the news a couple of weeks ago. So it says after just one season, Dexter Original Sin has officially been axed by Paramount+. And I don't know why because it was renewed. Season two was renewed and then they axed it. Weird.

So something's gone down. Yeah. Either they didn't get the numbers they expected or... No, I would never believe that. It's brilliant. Okay. Well, my vibe this week is something that either you could buy for yourself or you could potentially buy it as a gift. And when I originally got this, it's a reusable takeaway coffee cup. It was actually about, it'd have to be three or four years ago for my birthday. I can't remember how long ago, but Laura got me one of these cups as a birthday present. And I ended up getting a couple of extra ones. If you're watching on YouTube, I'm holding it up now. The brand is

called kw ceramics so it's kim wallace ceramics and they're all made from australian clay and they're made by hand in australia they're beautiful cups absolutely gorgeous right and i recently bought these for two of our friends brit that got married oh yes they make some special ones that say mr and mrs and they're kind of like cute couple thing is that they go and get coffee together in the morning so i just thought that would be a nice like personalized little celebration of them getting married but when i was on the website shopping for them i decided to also also get myself one so now i've got a couple you can get these silicon lids to put on the top that was gonna be my question yeah yeah so you just kind of place them on the top it's not spill proof

but it just helps you spill less so what i mean is like you can't twist the lid on and put it in your bag and it will be fine it's not like a thermos right like the lid it will leak everywhere you've got to hold it up until you're finished drinking okay i don't know what you guys are doing and your coffee cups swirl in the room. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not one of the ones that you can – it's not like a drink bottle where you can put the lid on and then put it in your bag. I feel like I need the spill-proof ones because I'm –

and that's probably why you come to work with coffee on your shirt all the time. Nearly every day. Yes, but while I was on the website, I also got this other little duvoducky that they've started making and it's for after you've finished it. So it's this little bag and it's got like a leak-proof beeswax on the inside. so you put your keep cup in there or reusable takeaway cup they say and then you can squeeze this tight and then you put that in your bag and it stops the drips from getting all throughout

because you know my bag has to remain completely waterproof I have so much tech gear in there you know my laptop and all that kind of jazz I really love the brand I think they're really beautiful and I think they make really good gifts and they start I actually got this one here they've got a version on the website of like a second sale so they're ones that have minor defects and they're pretty heavily discounted. I can't tell where the defect is though. Maybe that's why it spills. No, it's definitely me who makes it spill. But yeah, I think they're really beautiful and I think they make a nice gift. So KW Ceramics, as always, links for our vibes will be in the show notes and also on our website. Cute. All right, let's get into the questions.

Question number one, my friend has access to her ex-husband's email and I think it is unethical. I've just found out my good friend has access to her ex-husband's emails. She recently told me she saw something on his emails. It was a fleeting comment and I didn't think much of it until I realized how unethical and inappropriate it is. They got divorced about two to three years ago and it was quite toxic. Their relationship is still very toxic. I'm really close with both of them.

I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling him, but I think it's extremely inappropriate and potentially illegal that she has access to his emails. I have no idea how to approach the situation. If I even approach the situation, do you think it's illegal? Do I think it's illegal? I don't know if it's illegal. I know it's illegal to open people's mail. Does that extend to email?

Surely. I think she more means like is it as bad as she thinks? Is it that unethical and immoral? Which I guess. I guess it depends on the lengths that she went to to gain access to the email. I mean, it's likely that it's probably just still logged into her computer since they were married. You know, maybe he used the email.

I do think it's pretty unethical, but I also think what's the most weird about this is that she's checking it. Like how regularly is she checking? Yes. Okay. I've got some feelings. So I don't think it is illegal. It's illegal if you've hacked it, but I'm going to assume they were together and they

had shared accounts and they've broken up and he's probably just forgotten. like he's probably just forgotten that she has access she's not gonna raise that with him and so she just checks it you just really took me down a nostalgic path do you remember when there used to be one email account for the whole family it would be like hopefully it's 21 it would be like the whole family's email account you'd have the desktop computer with the dial-up internet and that was the one email that you needed for everything I just reckon she still has access like I don't think she's gone to the point of hacking it you know what I think the most toxic thing is here it's what it's probably doing to her and the hold it has over her without her even

knowing I remember I had access to pretty similar I had access to my ex's Instagram like an ex I'm not going to tell you who I had access to their Instagram which they knew about we shared accounts like we it just wasn't a thing like it wasn't a big deal we just for some reason had each other's logins and when we broke up I still had access for ages and I didn't do anything with it at the start because I forgot and then one day I looked at it and then I was like this is a slippery slope because I wanted to look at it every day for no reason but I was like wonder what's going on and then I was like this is so a it's inappropriate but b it became something that I was thinking about for no reason like I'd be like should I should know like and then I was like what's the

point like and I just got rid of it and deleted it and moved on but also I think you need to have a sit down with your friend two to three years is wild like you are three years deep and you're still checking your ex's email it is inappropriate like there's we can joke about it it's inappropriate you shouldn't be in there and you shouldn't be doing it but I'd be asking myself why like what are you doing with that information I also feel like an email like how spicy can an email really get you know what i mean well what information can you gain from an email this person you know here's your access code for this one-time purchase here's your subscription confirmation email it's funny you say that because my crazy ex that had the double life everything was on email so he

would use email as a text so i would get multiple emails from him a day and he just told me it was the easiest way to communicate which like fucking lol k no i got sucked into that one i'm like oh That's totally – yes, your burner phone is the best way for you to – Like, whatever. I look back now and it's, okay, I get it. The red flag was whipping me in the face. But everything was on email, which makes sense because it keeps everything off your phone.

And, you know, when that unraveled and I found out how many other people he was talking to and with, they were all on different emails. And so we don't know what this person's story is. You've said it's toxic. Keisha, you're like, how many of my exes cheated by email? No, I've actually just had this memory hit me in the face. I cannot believe I forgot about this. And I can't believe that it's only been during this conversation that I remembered.

I had an ex. We met in Australia. He was here for a couple of months. We got together. He went back to the UK. He was British. And I went over there and I spent a couple of months with him. And while I was over there, because I wasn't working, I said that I would help him out

with his business. And I can speak about this now because he's blocked me. there's no way that he can come for me for saying this he's blocked me I wonder why and so I was like I'll help you out with the admin you know help you out with your invoicing and some of your emailing and blah blah blah because you know I had the time and and I thought that that was being helpful and I remember getting back to Australia and I was only back for like two weeks and so I still had his email logged into my computer and I remember not doing it wasn't deliberate it was like i opened up gmail and because his account was logged in i saw that he had this uber transaction

that dropped him back to his own house at 6 45 in the morning and i was like what the fuck and i messaged him and i was like hey like you know because everything was still normal in my mind and he'd said that he'd gone out for a couple of drinks with you know friends the night before had not said anything about the fact he did not stay at home and that was how i found out that he'd actually stayed at another girl's house and he'd gotten an uber back in the morning it was through the email told you email it's the golden egg I can't believe that I'm like what spicy stuff could you find out oh yeah that's right one of my relationships ended because yeah emails is where the shit goes down yeah 100% because it's like I mean it probably isn't now everything's

linked to everything but it used to be a bit of a separate entity like it never used to I don't know I don't really get it everything uploads to the cloud now so I just feel like that I feel like nowhere is a safe space but back to this question oh yeah what should she do about yeah sorry so so many side tangents. I apologize. I know. I think you can definitely say something to her. I don't think it's going to be friendship ending. I mean, you obviously feel uncomfortable by it, but I think you can definitely say why, like, why are you still, like, you know, do you think you should be in his emails? It feels pretty wrong. Imagine if he was in your emails three years deep. But I just wonder, like, do they have kids when you're saying it's toxic? Is she trying

to use stuff against him? Is it, I don't know, toxic could mean a hundred things of varying level so I would definitely say something to her I just I wouldn't end the friendship you've said you don't want to ruin the friendship I don't think you tell him that's pretty wild isn't it what happens if she tells the friend that she thinks it's really unethical and the friend says too bad so sad not going to change it what do you do with that information do you go and tell him then like I you are in a pretty awkward position because you're friends with both of them but I think very much take Britt's advice of the fact that you need to bring it up with her and just say hey you made a comment the other day and I didn't really think about it until I was at home

later. And I think it's really bad. I think you are only going to be eating away at your own kind of sense of security and sanity if you're still checking his emails two to three years post-divorce. And it is hard because it's not just that you're really good friends with her and he's the ex. You said you're really close with both of them. So there is, yeah, I would be mortified if I found out now that my ex was in my emails three years later. Like I would be be eropable. I'd be mortified. I'd be like, what have you seen? Why are you in there? What are you doing with that information? Like it definitely is an invasion of privacy. She needs to move on 100%. If I have any exes in my emails, can you please check through all of the admin that's

not actually applicable to me and get rid of that? It would really be saving me some time. None of your exes are going through your admin. The tricky part is because you're best friends with both of them or good friends with both of them. So I would be having the conversation with her saying hey I don't think it's appropriate I think you need to stop maybe try and take the angle that you're doing it for her as much as him like don't let this consume you you should not be checking his email every day it shouldn't even be on your mind three years on this shouldn't be something that you wake up and think about but as long as you have access to it she's always going to have it hanging over her head so other than that like if you go and speak to the husband

that's a choice it's the same as when we have these conversations about you know do I tell my friend or partner's cheating on them or whatever. You've just got to be ready for the repercussions because there's always going to be something that comes off the back of that. He's going to say something to her. He's not just going to change his password and then be done with it. Like he's going to confront her and it's going to come out that it was you and this could be like explosive for your friendship. So I'd be choosing which battle is worth it. Or maybe you could come up with some fake scenario that like all of your things have gotten hacked and it's because you hadn't updated your email password and just tell him that story and tell him that he needs to

update his email. True. You could just say, have you heard of the scams going around? Everyone has to update their podcast. You need two-factor authentication. Protect him at all costs. Yeah. True, true, true. All right. And into question two, my mom won't get a whooping cough vaccine for my new baby. Hi ladies, OG listener here. I'm stuck in a pickle. I'm 17 weeks pregnant. Here's where I'm stuck. During COVID, my mom became a real anti-vaxxer. She was never like this previously. My siblings and I got all of our childhood vaccinations. I work in healthcare and I always get flu shots. I got my COVID boosters, et cetera. I'm really nervous about asking her to get vaccinated for whooping cough before the baby comes. Originally, she only

cared about the COVID vax, but she has since gone down a little bit of a conspiracy rabbit hole in regards to healthcare in general. And I've heard her make comments about other vaccines. My decision is that no one will be holding or touching my baby without one. And I know my partner and his family would back me up on this. How would you approach this conversation? She is known to be rather reactive so I don't want to make a big drama out of it I'd rather approach it gently this for me I think there are some things in life that are hard conversations that are non-negotiables this is one of them and I am all about protecting people's feelings and having empathy and understanding for a multitude of things vaccinations especially for something like

around a newborn is not one of the boundaries that I would personally bend and I say that because whether you're pro-vax or anti-vax, the science behind the damage that whooping cough can do to a newborn baby is horrific. So for me, I would be just having a really gentle conversation like, Hey mom, I know that you feel you're unsure about your vaccinations and things like that. We won't be letting anyone around our newborn that hasn't had it. Like that's your boundary for your child and you are putting that boundary in place to protect the child and maybe I'm coming across too harsh but I will die on that hill like this is just something for me even with baby Maya my sister's baby because she was born preemie and she couldn't get the RSV

vaccination through my sister because my sister couldn't get it in time well she was booked in to get it wasn't she and she went into labor so early she went into labor the day she was supposed to get the RSV vaccine and went into labor as in like it shot out, Maya shot out in 45 minutes. It was pretty crazy. So she just couldn't get it. And Maya nearly died because of that. She went into ICU a couple of months later with RSV and literally nearly died. And it wouldn't have been as serious if the vaccinations were in place. And, you know, we've seen kids be so unwell because of whooping cough. I just think it's such an easy fix. And I don't think it's a boundary that you need to bend on. Yeah. Like I feel very similar to you, Britt, but the thing that I want to kind

of be careful about this is that bodily autonomy is always paramount. You know, someone always has a choice as to what they want to do to their own body. And that is important. And just because we are both pro-vax, I also want to have a bit of understanding for the fact that people will have different sets of rules for what they want and what they think is going to protect their baby in the best way. And if you see that differently, I respect your opinion and you can do that with your own child, you know, but in this particular situation, you, the person who has written this in, you have an idea around what is the best way for you to protect your baby. And that is your number one priority. Your mom's feelings, her being offended by this is not your first priority.

And I actually have skin in this game and I really do understand how awkward these conversations can be to navigate. Something that I don't mind talking about is the fact that my dad is an anti-vaxxer he has quite an alternate view of medicine in general and it's something that we have clashed about for more than 15 years it's something that we are constantly butting heads about and we can usually settle on the fact that we just see it differently and we will approach the situation differently vaccination is different because it doesn't just impact you it's not just the person who's getting vaccinated that is you know going to be impacted by the potential outcomes of whether you are vaxxed or not it's you know about creating herd immunity and for people who

can't have vaccinations and so when my brother my brother has three children and this same thing went around to all of our family you know his wife sent a text around my sister-in-law who I love so much she sent a text around saying hey guys just a reminder like you need to get your your boosters if you don't if you choose not to and I mean I'm assuming that she knew that this conversation was coming, you know, you won't be able to be around the baby or meet the baby until the baby can have vaccinations of their own, which from memory, I think it was about six weeks. I'm sorry if that's not quite right. I think it was around about that spot. And my dad refused to be vaccinated. And so, which is fine. Totally. You don't meet the baby. Exactly. And that was kind of the

compromise that we got to. It's also hard because what you said is right is because like at the end of the day, people have choice over what they do to their body. It just means that that choice is taken away from when you meet your niece or nephew which is you know it's also but if you're okay with it that's it but if your mommy's gonna kick off about it and sorry not you Keisha I mean like this writer like if your mom's gonna kick off about it because you said she's really reactive well then that's on her as long as you have given it in a nice way you know you're not coming to her you're not attacking her you're like hey these are the rules we're laying out if not you can see the baby at 16 weeks. So I just did have a look. It says 8, 12 and 16 weeks when vaccinations are

given. So yeah, I think, I don't know. I think it's fine. It's your life, your baby and your house and your rules. You lay the rules down and then people either abide by them or they don't. And it's unfortunate if they're not going to, but at the end of the day, your baby is your priority. Yeah. I also think it might be worth you, hopefully, I mean, I don't know how far down a rabbit hole she is but it might be worth you attempting to find some information about you know the effectiveness of the whooping cough vaccine I know that around the COVID time that was a particularly hot topic it basically became someone's personality type you know were you pro or against yeah and there is a lot of evidence there's a lot of research there's millions and

millions of sample cases of people who have had this whooping cough vaccine there wasn't that for the COVID vaccines, you know, we're kind of comparing apples and oranges here. And I know that a lot of people would be like, you know, they're all the same and they're all made the same way. And that's actually not true. They're not all made the same. And they've got different amounts of research about every single different vaccine. So I wonder if she would be open to you presenting a little bit of information about it to her. In my situation, that wasn't up for debate, like, but that was, you know, it was kind of like a consequence of a decision. And I'm not saying consequence in a negative way it's just like that was the compromise that my family came to

it was if you choose to make that decision then this will be the outcome and that wasn't to punish him it was just like a matter of fact that if you don't want to do what we think is best for our child or for the safety of our baby then you have to kind of take this alternate route yeah and that that's what happened and you know what three babies later if I have a kid it'll probably be the exact same thing and it's just something that I've had to kind of learn to accept about the fact that we're probably never going to see eye to eye on that. And that's okay. There are going to be some circumstances where it causes a little bit more disruption than others. But at the end of the day, for me, and I'm assuming for you too, your baby's health and the way that you want to

protect your baby is the number one priority. Don't worry about what reactions you might have from other people. Like that's paramount. Okay. Next question. Do I delete pictures of my ex from Instagram before new partners follow me. Should I delete photos with my ex on Instagram before I let the new people I date follow me? I broke up with my ex three months ago and I have one in-feed picture of us sitting on a boat. It's not super couple-y, but it's couple-y enough. Like you can tell that they're a thing. I love the photo. I'm so happy in that photo and nothing bad happened between us. The photo was from late last year. Now I'm not sure if I need to remove it in case my potential future partners follow me and then become uncomfortable by it.

I wouldn't care if they had a photo of their ex on their Instagram, but I'm just not sure what to do. I've asked my friend group. They don't know what to do either. Do you delete all pictures of an ex? As somebody who has pictures of her ex on her Instagram, I'm going to say it's okay. I think I would have pictures of my ex on my Instagram. I think the time period is what matters here.

and I wonder if you're able to not delete it but archive it I feel like that's the happy medium because you can always bring it back no I think it's the same thing like deleting it is archiving it it's taking it away it's taking the moment away it's fresh for you like it's only three months if you've got a potential new partner now then that is really close I'm pretty sure and I'm not even saying I remember not deleting it but I don't remember what's on my Instagram but I know there would be stuff but there was a year between me breaking up and having a new anyone so there was a huge amount of space and you know I post a lot on Instagram so there was a lot of stuff that had just thirst trap thirst trap yeah yeah there was no depression depression depression I'm back

pretending I'm great pretending I'm great got a puppy got a puppy got a puppy um no but I think it depends and I say that because then if you don't post on Instagram yeah and you it's been Three months ago could have been the most recent post. So like for me, I forget they're even there. You would have to scroll back so far to see anything, which I think Ben probably, no, Ben definitely did. Ben did that. I know that because we had that conversation, but I don't think it's a big deal.

I think I did take down some that were like too romantic or couple-y. Like I think I took those down, but it was a huge part of my life. You know, somebody I loved and respected and spent time with. And we did a lot of things together. we were traveling the world together and we're having a lot of fun and for me it just didn't it didn't end badly so it didn't feel like I feel like the people that go on and delete their exes I feel like that's ended badly for them do you know what I mean one time this was one of the most psychotic things I've ever done it was a really bad breakup and I didn't delete the photos

but I changed the captions and it was so so passive-aggressive like then it I changed the yeah it made me look terrible it was the worst to see I'm not recommending you do this no but But doesn't the person get a notification that you've edited it if they're tagged in it? So they're getting notifications that you've edited so he wouldn't have gotten any notifications at all. But I did get a screenshot of it sent to me through email because it was blocked on everything.

I told you there's the email, mate. Email. Shit goes down on email. I can't believe I actually said nothing spicy happens on emails. So, look, I think a very good point that you made about it depends on how many other pictures you have. And I also think it depends on the coupliness of it. But you said it's not too couply.

So on one hand, I think that's other people that can show that you can have good, happy relationships and maybe that those relationships don't end terribly. So that's kind of a pro, but the con would be if some people would see that and think it was possibly too soon and would be like, oh, I don't want to be, you know, I don't want to be the next picture on your Instagram next to a picture of your ex. We also say that because we had this discussion with a friend recently who Keisha and I did, who's like dating somebody new but it wasn't that long ago there were pictures of an ex on like their ex on there and it was it's murky waters sometimes but where I think this gets a little

bit trickier is do I think you have to delete pictures of your ex no I don't I think that is that is completely up to you do I think it becomes a different story when you get into a new relationship and that person says to you that maybe they're wildly uncomfortable by it for whatever reason I think that that is a more honest conversation I don't think you can let anyone tell you what to do like if my if Ben had come to me and said you delete every photo of every other guy on there I'd be like get fucked I make that choice but if he comes to me and had an open discussion and said hey like how do you feel if you archive those or get rid of them they make me feel a bit uncomfortable that's a different conversation like that is a conversation that

you have to have with your partner it's respectful it's open it's kind but do you have to delete it now in the worry that maybe your future partner that doesn't exist yet is going to be uncomfortable with it. No, I think that that's, I think you are overthinking it on overstressing it. But if you haven't posted on Instagram, you're not a big poster and anyone new goes onto your Instagram because that's what they do, right? You meet online. The first thing people want to know is what's your Instagram. Let's swap. Let me do my stalk. If the first photo or one of the first three photos they're seeing is of you on a boat with your, they don't know what your ex, right? but it's with a guy, it might send them some kind of message that, oh, maybe she's still

seeing someone or maybe it's complicated or maybe it's too soon or you don't know. But again, no one can make you do anything. Yeah. I think the best option is to archive because you're not deleting the memory. You know, you personally, I know because for a lot of us, we kind of use Instagram as a bit of a visual diary as well. Like sometimes you will scroll back on your own Instagram and be like, oh my gosh, that was such a nice time in my life.

So you might not necessarily want to delete that entire memory. and for me I've got a lot of things archived that I just didn't think were like necessary to be on the grid anymore I'd love to go through your archives be like why did you ever post that every ex you get a real timeline trust me and so maybe that's like a happy medium but yeah I think you've given very good advice on that one Brit I've got one final question for you I found out that my sister cheated on her husband and now I see her differently I recently found out that my sister cheated on my brother-in-law last year. We're a very close family. It's just the two of us siblings and our kids and partners are really connected. I knew about the man that she

had been flirting with and I often warned her, reminding her of how good her husband is and encouraging her to work on her marriage if things weren't going well. Now that I know that I went through with it, I feel really devastated. Her husband knows and while deeply hurt, he wants to try and work things out. For me, loyalty, trust, and respect are core values. And I feel like she has not only let her husband down and the kids down, but also me and everyone close to her. She struggles with mental health and she was drinking a lot at the time, but I still feel conflicted. I can't help but see her differently now. And I feel hurt that she could lie about it for so long while looking us in the eye. How can I move forward from this? What can I say to her

to express how upset and disappointed I am without damaging our bond forever. I don't think we've ever had a cheating question when it's the sisters. I don't think we've ever had a sister write in saying that they're really close and it's her sister that did it. I'm trying to think what I would do if it was Sherry because I'm so close with Sherry.

There's nothing that Sherry could do to me that would make our relationship, you know, unless she stole my husband, but like nothing that she would do of her own accord, you know. But I can imagine you feeling really disappointed in her if she cheated on Jay. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And that's a whole other conversation because Jay is like family to us and now I know, poor Sherry, I know that that would never happen.

I'm sorry for using her as that example. But it's really hard because I don't know what other relationships you've got or, you know, the core of the foundation of your family. You said you guys are close but I don't know if other stuff has gone down to make you feel uncomfortable or is this literally the only thing? I would hate to see your relationship with her change forever over this but I understand why it's changing in the moment I understand that some really tough conversations have to be had

and I think you can be really honest with her the question here isn't do I tell him he already knows so it's all out in the open you're just wanting to know how you move forward with your sister so I think you need to be really honest with how you feel about it and maybe try to and understanding on where she is now. Does she look at it like it's a mistake? Is she really sorry for it? Does she think, what was I thinking? Like I was at a low point. I would never do that again. Is she still drinking like she was? Yeah. Like I think there's so much to it, but it is a really tricky thing because when you are really close to your family and your family's partners, they are your family and you love and care about them. And it's a tricky situation for

you to be in but if you can work through it like you do only get one family and I know like you know I know it's not everything and you can't choose your family but family is so important if you can work through something so if this is the only thing she has done I'm not saying it's okay but I would hate for you to damage that bond forever which was your words you know how do I not damage this forever yeah I also think there's one other sentence that you've written that kind of stood out to me and I agree with everything you've said Britt but she's also betrayed you too you've said I feel hurt that she could lie about it for so long while looking us in the eye and I think that maybe that's the conversation you need to have with her you know as far as the cheating goes

the husband has accepted it and you know chosen to move forward and that's kind of no longer your business like what happens between them as a couple that's for them to kind of work through and yes you might be a support character but she has seemingly also lied to you and so I do think that you have every right to bring that up with her and let her know that you're really disappointed it in not only her behavior because it goes against the values that you guys were brought up with, but also that she either lied to you or involved you in the lie. I'm not really sure to what extent these lies kind of contained you, you know? So for me, that would be the conversation.

But I also think that often in these situations, things are very rarely black and white. And we have been criticized for saying this before, but no cheating is the same. the reasons for it, the validation that people are seeking, whether their needs are being met, whether they're not, whether they are just out of an impulse and they're not thinking clearly and not excusing it. I just don't think it's a blanket statement. It's not all cheating is not created equal. Exactly. And for that reason, I think it can be really hard to not explore nuances like that with people that you really, really love, like your sister. I would be really devastated if this completely ruined your sisterly bond because she'd made this mistake. She'd stuffed up

from all accounts it sounds as though she's told the husband I don't know how the husband found out I do think that that's a good thing if that she has kind of admitted fault you haven't really given us many details about how she has kind of responded to this you know whether she has you know told you guys the truth and admitted it to her husband and she's apologized and she said that she's going to cut back on the drinking and she said that she's going to do everything to fix this we don't know whether that's the case if she's cheated on him and it was kind of premeditated you said that she knew you knew about the man that she'd been flirting with which would kind of imply that there was a little bit of a ramp up to this it wasn't just I was out one night I was

off my head drunk and you know I did this stupid thing I wasn't thinking clearly it sounds as though she's maybe had a little bit of like a flirtatious back and forth and this has been ramped up and it's kind of reached a crescendo and it's ended up with her doing something that you know wasn't to the values of her marriage yeah I think that we can impose our values on other people and I just don't know whether that's going to be worth losing your sisterly bond over I can understand why you're disappointed I can understand why you feel betrayed if she's lied to you but for me it would be a forgivable thing particularly if their partner was able to forgive them for it I was just about to say if he has forgiven her I think you need to try to as well because yeah I don't want

to say I don't want to say you're the byproduct oh I think what term did you just use Keisha side what do you call the side side piece like you know she's not the main person affected in the situation yeah the betrayal is there i get that she lied to you but that's what people that are know they're doing the wrong thing do they know that what they're doing is right they know you're going to judge their actions so they don't bring you in on it because when they do this is what happens so i have no doubt she knew she was doing the wrong thing which is why she kept it from you so yes you need to work on that relationship if you can and if for some reason and you have tried to put it all in the line and you can't move forward and the trust is there,

then that's something else for you to deal with. Maybe you don't see her as much or you're not as close to her or you don't trust her as much, but I just wouldn't sever the relationship for the rest of your life. That is like a huge call. Yeah. Maybe you just pull back for a little bit. Yeah. You know, for a couple of months, let the dust settle, let them kind of work through things in their marriage themselves. And then you can hopefully get back to a place that you were before. But that is it for our questions today. If you have any questions, you can send them in to us on Instagram at Life Uncut Podcast. You can also email them to us.

The email is hello at lifeuncutpodcast.com. And also on Wednesday, we're going to have Laura's birth episode about her third baby, hopefully. I mean, you know, fingers crossed everywhere. It's not about me, but did I or did I not cut the cord? We will find out. Question on everybody's lips. No, yeah, it's going to be a really good episode.

I'm looking forward to it. If you want to watch this on YouTube, please go and subscribe. All the questions are there. It's definitely a different experience when you're watching it versus just listening to it. And you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.