Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Fedoras, nudity and screwing your married colleague.

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

ASK UNCUT - Fedoras, nudity and screwing your married colleague.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. Don't sound so exasperated, Laura.

And that is Brittany over there. And this is our Thursday episode where we answer all of your deep, your dark, your burning, troublesome questions. Brittany's dog's over there trying to kill a, it looks like a travel pillow. This is her, okay, she'll calm down in a minute. She's got one favourite toy and it's a sloth. And she brings it with her everywhere. It's like a, what's it like when the kids have that as a blanket? Well, Marley has one called a rabby.

It's like a comfort thing. Yeah, a comforter. Yeah. Speaking of like our children just being so comfortable and cute, do you know what Marley said to me on the drive over here? So coming to record this morning, I take the kids to daycare, drop them off, and then I come here to Brittany's beautiful little house and we record out of her studio room.

Also love that you said speaking of our children, like till I was my child. Yeah, what did she do? So I'm in the car and I was singing. What's our favourite song at the moment, Britt? Fuck you and your mum and your sister and your dog. I was about to say dog, but that's fine. So I was singing the very G-rated version of that. I was singing Forget You and Your Mum and You're in the Car

and I put it up really loud and I hear Molly, she's in the back seat and she just goes. And I was like, hey, bubba, what's wrong? thinking what sort of huge turmoil is my two-year-old in the back going through and she goes oh mommy I hate it when you're talking you're like well lucky I talk for a living isn't it I was like actually I was singing and she's like yeah I hate that too why yeah because she has so much attitude my two-year-old two and a half she's gonna be three in three months she has so much attitude I was about to say maybe she's gonna be like a really introverted and quiet

but there's she's got none of that she's not introverted or quiet at all and she's so quick to tell you all the things that she doesn't like about you like she's now she'll be like mommy what are these oh they're wrinkles like she knows what she's doing I'm like do you reckon I don't know I don't think I don't think it's malicious I think there's malice in that child I think like let's be real I don't think at two years old she's been malicious and she's not pointing out your wrinkles to make you feeling secure Laura she probably doesn't know what a wrinkle is yet and last night well she does she says wrinkles so she does and last night she sat in the shower on her potty with a bucket on her head this is the child this is the child that has

so much control over my life well then are you really going to take what a child that sits naked with a bucket on her head are you going to take what she says is gospel because i don't think you need to anyway your wrinkles are fine get some botox i'm due for it do you know what i just want to mention as well we did an episode on tuesday that was on the overwhelm and i have received so many fucking absolutely lovely messages from people this week. Other mums who listened to the podcast and felt exactly the way that we have felt, who resonated with what we spoke about, who are also in this state of just, well, there's no other better word for it than feeling overwhelmed. I just want to say thank you to everyone who listened and who wrote in. It means

so much to us when we know that we talk about something or we touch on a topic that resonates with you guys. And reading those messages, I had one woman write to me and said that she went for a walk and she was in tears listening to it because she fully just feels like her life has been so to the point of capacity recently and I was like yes girlfriend us too oh that's really not I like I I love that we do love hearing that it's making a difference in like complete transparency I didn't get any messages I'll read I'll read this one to you because this one well I think it's definitely the overwhelm like we said it definitely affects everybody but I think it hits differently with mums because of the fact that it is unrelenting do you know what I got I

did get a few messages from people that said they really felt what I felt when I said I was crying over getting a dating app when I was like I don't want to get back out they're like girl we feel you it is soul destroying we don't want to do it either so I got a few of those but I didn't get any resonating about the mum okay well this one mum wrote in she said I just listened this afternoon having an emotional afternoon with my kids after listening I reached out to my mother-in-law and she came over and looked after my three-year-old so I could go for a walk with the dog in peace and I cried a bit more while listening to this and I just think so many people feel exactly the same and there's something really something and not that you want other people to be having the

same small traumas that you are but there's something really healing in knowing that you're not alone in feeling like this a hundred percent but we're not going to get into that now no I want to talk to you about an influencer uh oh I know what you're going to talk to me about yeah Well, I'm speaking to the audience. It's happened again, everybody. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the audience. I want to speak to you guys.

I want to tell you about an influencer. She's a Brazilian influencer, and I'm talking a very big influencer, 15.7 million followers. Her name, well, she goes, her stage name now is Poker, but her name is Vivian de Queroz Pereira. Yeah, you said that so fluently, Britt. You sound like you're really South American. So South American.

Definitely butchered that. But bless her soul, she's so funny. she's very open with the followers and she went to hospital the other night with extreme extreme stomach pain like she thought her insides were falling out she was with her new boyfriend at the time and she's like she kept him up all night because she was in so much pain she's like i've got to go to the hospital something's really really wrong my appendix is burst my appendix is bursting or i'm dying she gets to the hospital and she gets told by the doctor that in fact she's just been she's just been holding her farts in that's it and it's caused extreme pain and she

was really honest she's like guys my boyfriend and I were pretty new we're not on farting terms yet so she's been holding them in little did she know that it can be disastrous can I just say how can you be so frightened to fart in front of your boyfriend but so okay to talk to tell that many people like surely that there's a bit of a gap here and I know we've spoken about this before she is not the first person to end up in hospital from holding in a fart I didn't purposely hold in my farts I just ended up in hospital because I had trapped gas but it doesn't get trapped from holding it in well I don't know because I've never had a corner like I can't find this way I was like roadblock I'll just stay here I've never had a program I've

never not that okay in the early days of a relationship I'm not gonna fart in front of my partner of course not but we've spoken about this before I have no qualms once I'm comfortable with a partner I think that it's totally fine no holds bars let that shit loose I am the polar opposite I'm not a father like I mean like obviously I do them but I don't do it in front of my partner I never ever will unless it was like an emergency and or it slipped out accidentally but I'm never going to be in a relationship where I think it's funny to like lift a butt cheek and let one rip it's not and I don't I don't want my partner to do it actually I remember when I was in the early stages with Jordan I would even leave like to go to the bathroom but after probably

three weeks he said to me like he was with his friends and he's like Brit I can't hold these farts in anymore he's like I'm getting extreme stomach pain because he used to be like I need to fight and I just wouldn't let him I was like you absolutely can't he's like and I didn't know that you could go to hospital with it so I used to make him hold the meat Brit used to leave her apartment and go to the public toilets across the beach public toilets at Bondi Beach to do a poo That's what she did. In my defence, I told Laura that in confidence. And it was one time, like, no, there was this one time

in the very early stages where I think we'd had drinks the night before. We'd been out for dinner. We'd had some not good food. And, you know, when you just not – I woke up and I was like, I do not feel well. Like, something is amiss here. And I was like – This is not acceptable to be done in a small apartment.

No, the apartment was small. The bathroom was next to the bedroom. There was no escape in it. He sleeps in. So I was like, going for a run and just, like, ran across to the public toilet to go to the toilet. But this is actually really funny because I don't know, Laura, if you like, it's definitely a common thing, but Abby Chatfield was recently on the hundred with Andy Lee.

It's so relatable because we all do it. But she was just saying that she, in the mornings with her partner, Conrad, she doesn't want to poo in front of him. She's not at that stage. So she makes an excuse every morning to go to a cafe and do what she calls an anonymous poo. And I was like, it's just so relate. Like we've, I think everyone has been there.

the worst I think it's the hardest thing about dating and like a new relationship it is not the hardest out of all for me I'm so easygoing in every other aspect for me it is when you get together I don't give a fuck about anything else I'm like I am not ready to fart or poop in front of you out of all the trials and tribulations and all the ups and downs of a new relationship you think that deciding where to go to the toilet is the hardest decision that you have to make no it's not deciding where it's just it's how to avoid going to the toilet in front of your partner And I mean, like for me, when you just say the trials and tribulations of an early relationship, for me, there should be no trials and tribulations.

The trial and tribulation is going to the toilet. But I know, look, I mean, we are so aware that this is an incredibly divisive topic. I would say, I mean, I'd love to know what the real statistics are. I don't think that there's been a formal poll that's ever been done. But like, you're either someone who does not care, like me, or you're someone who deeply cares and passionately cares about keeping something sacred in the relationship. I don't want us to ever get to a point where we think it's no judgment. Everyone's different.

But here is a reason why you should get a little bit more comfortable. This is a medical. This is I'm going deep. This is a report. This is what the doctors have to say. Trying to hold in your farts leads to a buildup of pressure and major discomfort. A buildup of intestinal gas can trigger abdominal distension with some gas reabsorbing into the circulatory system and exhaled in your breath.

Holding on too long means the buildup of intestinal gas will eventually escape via an uncomfortable fart or hospitalisation. There you go, everybody. That is why. So you will breathe your fart out. Yeah. If you don't let it out, if it doesn't come out below,

it'll come out above. And you can't blame that on garlic. Like you can tell. You have that, oh, I had some garlic last night. Sorry about that. No, you are burping out shit. I'm so sorry. I had some farts last night.

All right. Okay, that's enough about that. Let's get into some questions. Okay, I have a question which is, a very, it's a question we've never been asked before. Firstly, I want to ask a question back to it, but I'll get into it. Okay.

Let's ask the first question. What do you wear to a group audition for The Bachelor? Do you go all out ball gown or low key? Do you want to stand out, but also not look like a complete weirdo? Maybe I'm asking for a friend. Maybe I'm asking because I'm going to an audition. Who knows?

Okay. Well, we do know. You're going for an audition. Okay. Well, straight up, you don't wear a ball gown. Please don't wear a, please, please, please don't do that. Unless you want to be cast as a crazy person. Unless you actually wear a ball gown day to day, don't wear a ball gown.

What you want to do, my best advice, and Laura, I wonder, I'm going to ask you in a second if you remember what you wore. My best advice is to wear what you would wear. You just want to be you. You want to present your own personality, but maybe you want to do it at the best level. So maybe you want to do what you do day to day, but, you know, a more polished version, but maybe you're not polished.

Maybe you are really laid back. Maybe you're a skater girl. whatever it is my best advice is to just go as you are and be you because they can see through anything else they can see it a hundred miles away be your authentic self isn't that the take home message of this entire podcast what did you i remember what i wore what did you wear all right you would mean jeans and a nice top like every single girl in the world literally i wore jeans and a nice top to it hey what are you wearing to dinner tonight jeans and a nice top i just wanted to look unique and stand out okay firstly i love that we now know that they're at

group audition phase for the next season of The Bachelor. I'm very interested to find out what they're actually doing for this coming season. Cause I think after the absolute dumpster fire that were ratings last year, I mean, I don't think The Bachelorette is going ahead. So The Bachelor still is, but there's been some whispers that maybe they're going to do a combined one. Maybe they're going to have a guy and a girl as the leads. So I agree with you, I remember what I wore. I wore a skirt. I didn't actually wear jeans. I wore a skirt and I wore and I can't remember the color I think it was like a pinky color and I wore a navy blue tiger lily singlet that was too low for me and so I had to sticky tape it to my boobs and it just

reminds me of the days when I used to get away with not wearing a bra and I could sticky tape tops to myself and now my boobs look at the floor. Did you wear heels or flat? I would have worn sandals because I never wear heels because I do not like them. Because you're very tall. Yes so I would have worn I would want a skirt like a bohemian skirt and I would have worn a tiger lily top and sandals I used to be very boho in my style so it wasn't Jane you didn't wear Jane you wore a skirt yeah I wore a skirt so I wore you're fucking gonna laugh so hard I reckon I've got the picture somewhere actually I do I'll put it up on Instagram I took a selfie or a picture in the mirror from my friend's house in Sydney because I didn't live I was a country girl in

Port Macquarie so I had to come and stay at my friend's house for the night and I took a picture so I have a picture of what I wore I will try and find it and I will put it on the stories for you i wore which is so me all white high-waisted white pants that had like a flare and then i wore a white like top that was sort of tucked in so it gave me like a way so i thought i looked really cool and then to top it off which is the most britney wore a fucking hat didn't you fucking wore a hat you wore a hat the most britney thing you have ever seen i wore a hat like a like a fedora like No, like a round sun hat. The group auditions are inside the Novotel, for example, just so you know.

Yeah, it was not for sun safety. It was what I thought was fashion. But you've got to remember this was a country girl from Port Macquarie that I didn't know what I was doing. But let me tell you something, Laura. Not one other person there had a hat on. You really stood out. That was my standout.

But I wore little heels, but not because I wanted to wear heels, but because my pants were too long but I was like what is my I didn't know what vibes to go for because 90% of my life as we all know is like active wear scrubs I didn't ever have nice fancy clothes but I was like I can't turn up in active wear scrubs but I didn't want to be too dressed up for a ball gown so I was like what's the happy medium but every was definitely a fedora it was the fedora the fedora was a happy medium I reckon that's what got me on the show okay everybody wears very different things if you are going to a bachelor group audition everybody rocks up some people are super like super fake tanned lots of makeup perfectly at styled outfit and other people

are really really casual it's a huge spectrum of what is and isn't okay but I think you nailed it Britt it is just showing up and being like very very authentic to the person okay even if it's not to who you are as a person to the person that you want to play on the tv show yeah what's your character if you want to be a villain you dress like a villain even like someone walks up dressed like Cruella de Vil like no but like that's it's what happens like you get typecast and they kind of pick you out from that group environment to play the characters that they think you're going to be so and the thing is you don't want to be like when you you I think she said do I want to stand out or not obviously you want to stand out in some way because you don't want to go and be a

wallflower that's not the point but maybe that's with your personality maybe you can also stand out with a story or something about you or who you are or what your job is that you don't have to necessarily wear like head to toe sequined bodysuit to stand out. Do you think that people like some women who sign up for The Bachelor who go to the auditions actually have it in their head that they're going to play a certain role like they actually go in there with the intention of being the villain or do you think it's more so the case that like they get in there they realize oh they don't really mesh with the guy that guy's not really into him and so they just kind of decide well to get more airtime I'll just play this character. I think it's changing a lot and I

think the same with a lot of reality shows think the same with maths i think people have clued on like the early days back in like i guess maybe even up until yours or maybe just the first three seasons and a season it was so innocent and pure and organic and people didn't know what would happen after the world of the bachelor or reality tv or maths but now people people clue on they know what gets attention they know so there are definitely people that go on i think i think that people that would go on the bachelor with zero intention of wanting to fall in love but they're like, Hey, I'll go have some fun. I'll get some attention, might get some followers, but usually that backfires. Yeah. But that's the thing, right? Like I wonder like, what is the benefit? I know

that there's that saying that like all press is good press, but real negative attention. And we're seeing it with Olivia on maths at the moment, like real negative attention genuinely has nothing good that comes out of it. The only person that I've seen transform their negativity into an incredibly positive platform is someone like Abby Chatfield. Totally. Weirdly that we've spoken about her twice in the one episode but like she's the only person who's come from reality tv background where i've seen them completely transform and not that she was a villain by any means but well that's the thing abby wasn't a villain but when it came to her and chelsea at the end people were rooting for chelsea in that moment yeah and then she has completely rewritten that narrative

that was pitched for her 100 and it's and like you just said laura there's not a lot i think if anyone's thinking about going into these shows with that intention i would just advise you not to i think don't do it go in with some pure intentions wear a fedora and might get you and just wear some jeans and a nice shirt and a fedora. All right. Question number two. Now this one, I think this one's pretty polarizing and I think that there's going to be some, I know the one it's very polarizing and there's going to be some people who have some extremely strong opinions around this. And I think strong opinions can be good. All right. My boyfriend is my penguin. He is an awesome guy and he is great with kids. We recently took my nephew to the park where he

got really dirty and my boyfriend was already going to have a shower when we came back. And so he offered to just shower my nephew who is three and a half with him. Afterwards, my sister said that her partner, which is my brother-in-law was a bit uncomfortable with it all. I was honest with my boyfriend, read the conversation I had with my sister. He took it fine and said he wouldn't do it again. I just now feel a little bit uncomfortable with this whole thing. And the fact that my brother-in-law's mind even went there. My boyfriend would never do anything like that. I totally respect them as parents and we resolved it all quickly. However, it's left me feeling super icky that this even came up as a conversation. What are your views on this? And is it weird for a

three and a half year old to shower with their semi-uncle? This is a hard one because there's going to be no right or wrong. This is going to be very dependent on literally the parents. And unfortunately it is up to the parents i don't have kids obviously guys this is not a spoiler i don't have kids so it's hard for me to comment from what i would feel as a parent of course you know your boyfriend's not going to do anything otherwise you wouldn't be dating him but at the end of the day if the parents feel uncomfortable with you showering with him showering with them i think that that is just something you need to accept and take 100 actually when you said there is no right and wrong I'm like yeah the right and wrong is whatever the parents think is right and whatever

else is wrong I understand where the feelings of like hurt come from because it's like you would never well you're so offended you're like he would never do that but it's not about that I understand that I totally understand the offense however I think it does go beyond just around like a fear of predatory behavior which obviously like that is a huge fear that a lot of parents have and their parents do put in a lot of parameters in place to make sure that their kids are safe like that's one thing that it's their responsibility to do so regardless of the other person it's as a parent it's your responsibility to protect your children but secondly to that maybe being nude is also just not something that they're very liberal with in their household maybe they don't even

shower with their kids like people approach these things incredibly differently and I think that there just has to be a respect for how the child's parents want it to go down like in our household could I shower with my nephew absolutely he's three and a half would Matt shower with my nephew you? Probably not. Also, I guess the other thing as well is, is children change so quickly and other people could see the three and a half year old as being like, oh, like he's so little, he's three and a half. But three and a half year olds are super inquisitive little children. They ask lots of questions. They could put you in a position where you don't feel comfortable either by, you know, asking about your penis or asking something that's like beyond the scope of what

you are skilled in to have that conversation with that child. So I think like just to avoid confrontation to avoid any uncomfortable feelings yes if you're going to get naked around somebody else's child for any reason ask the parent yeah and it could be very different if for example he you guys came back and he was like i'll just throw him in the bath i'll watch him that might be different for the parents if like he was if he was on the sideline and he was just literally making sure the child was safe in the bath that could be different as well again for the parent that might be a no-go i think you're feeling upset because of the implication i think you're upset because you're looking at this as in well how dare they not trust my partner and how do they

think that anything could go wrong but that's not at the end of the day that's not what it is no and I don't think it is that either like I mean I to be perfectly honest like as a mum I wouldn't really feel comfortable with Marley who's two and a half having a shower with her uncle and not because I don't trust her uncle like I completely trust both both my sister's husband and Matt's sister's husband I completely trust them both but I also just don't want Marley to be in an environment where it's normal for her to be around naked older men just other men exactly she definitely has had showers with her dad and that's okay and that's normal for us and in our household but do I want her to think that it's normal for her to be naked around other people's husbands

fucking absolutely no way like yeah and it's not so much about the person but it's reinforcing this idea around your children around consent around like what isn't isn't normal like it should be your child at three and a half should probably find it abnormal to be naked around somebody else who's also naked as an adult and there's so much tied into this I just think like at the end of the day if you are ever in this situation don't take it to personal offense because you know it comes what you were trying to do came with good intention but also just understand that that parent your sister is trying to do the absolute best thing by her children and raise her children in a way that protects them and protects the way that they view the world well said Laura

well it's a hard one isn't it because I think like I mean yeah it is but it isn't because it's like I just said when I say there's no right or wrong you're correct in saying well there is a right and wrong because the right is just listening to the parents and it's like we've just come full circle it's unfortunately that's what it comes down to they're the guardians they're a family it's their choice to how they raise their child and what they allow to happen in their house totally something you get on board with totally and it's not in with the intention of offending you I think is the big thing to take home from this and it's not with the intention of love your partner and I'm sure they don't think anything negative either like I yeah I I can understand

why it would be offensive but I think look at it from the other perspective is what I would kind of try and recommend in this situation all righty question number three Brittany this is your one okay i'll jump on in okay so a close girlfriend and i have been working together for a couple of years now we had a work christmas party we both got super drunk and ended our evening separately playing the away game so anyone that doesn't know what the away game is they went hooked up down to town i got up in the morning and headed home and then proceeded to pick her up once she woke up i ended up staying at a randoms while she ended up at a hotel with one of our married colleagues now i don't like cheaters and i got quite stern and upset at her

i believe that she is part of the problem knowingly sleeping with a married man even though it is a known thing that he does i'm not telling the wife or even acknowledging him in the office luckily we are in completely different departments and i believe he is leaving so i'm not worried about that my friend however thinks it's unfair of me to judge her and the onus does not lie with her. She's basically switched the narrative from me being upset with her actions to how dare I judge her. I love my friend, but I don't think it's a fair argument on her behalf. And I think she's completely turned this on me. This is such a good question because this is not just relative to this. It's like, if you know that your friend is actively going out and seeking out a relationship

with a married person, are they at fault? That's like, it's a question that relates to so like so many people would have experienced this well I literally in the last I guess it's probably last month I know somebody like I have I guess a friend they're not necessarily a best friend like these but I know somebody and it was a male and he slept with a married woman and told me and I well it just came up in conversation I got really mad and I got really upset exactly like this girl because i was like that's cooked i was like that's someone else's relationship some like and he's like yeah but you know like they're having problems and she she says probably nearly over anyway blah blah blah blah and i was like all i'm hearing is excuses at the end of the day for me

you are knowingly breaking up someone or you're contributing to it to someone else's marriage problems and and personally that's not cool for me so i actually really resonate with this question the girl your friend is turning the narrative on you because she feels guilty and she probably deep down knows it's pretty fucked that's why she's trying to shift the blame it's what people do when they're in the wrong they always try and shift the blame to make themselves feel better like there's a level of defensiveness with it you think totally i think it's interesting and i think that there's so much to unpack in this firstly if you are somebody who's in a marriage and you've made that commitment you're in a monogamous committed you you said those vows you are the

person who is responsible for maintaining your relationship that is up to you and i think that I personally think that the sole onus of like responsibility in terms of where the cheating took place is on the married man. I don't think it's on the temptation. However, does that mean that the person who actively sought him out actively was the one flirting and trying to get into bed with someone who's a married man is absolved of all sort of moral compass in this? I think it's a reflection that your friend doesn't have respect for the boundaries of his relationship either. And I guess at the end of the day, like you can't force your friend to see things the way that you see things. You can't force your friend to have the same morals that

you have or to view things in the way that makes you feel aligned. And this is something that I don't think you guys are going to agree on. If she's so headstrong that she doesn't feel like she's done anything wrong, then that's a reflection of how she views relationships and of how she views monogamy and she views other people's relationships. And I don't think you're going to change that I think you have to accept that you view this very differently she's not sorry for it and is that something that you can overcome do you want to be friends with somebody who actively seeks out married men or is that such a wedge that you might want to take a step back from the relationship yeah I think you just need to say to her cool do what you want but don't tell

me about it if you don't want to know about it totally that's fine do what you want don't tell about it because no I'm not cool with it question though but also don't let her put this on you and maybe you can say that too maybe you can say look you can't come at me for having a problem with you sleeping at with a married man I'm going to be displeased with it every time you tell me so let's just let's just keep the friendship as a friendship don't tell me when you're sleeping with someone that's in a relationship and I think it's the part of this question that's actually gets so sticky is that it goes beyond just sleeping with someone who's in a relationship it's shitting where you eat like this is literally your workplace and these are your work colleagues

so I guess that and now you've been brought into it yeah and you have been embroiled in this because you had to pick her up you know what happened so I guess that there's more to this situation than when it happens just in like a normal friendship and you find out that your friend's sleeping with a married man or a married woman whoever in this instance I think that like you as a person have been dragged into it more than you opted into it if that makes sense but at the same time I think like, let people deal with their own shit, their own junk, let them behave in a way that they want to behave in. And it doesn't have to reflect on you. And then you decide where your boundaries lie with that person. Do you want to maintain the friendship? Does it make you frustrated?

If you don't want to hear about it, then exactly what Brit said, tell them like, I'm so not for this. I disagree with what both of you are doing. And I think that you both have responsibilities in this and it's not cool with me. I don't want to know. What would you do? Here's my question. if I was single and I started hooking up with a married man what would be your opinion of me if I did that oh I would for sure have it out with you I wouldn't know I wouldn't have it out with you but I would let you I wouldn't be happy about it but that's just because I guess because I've been on the receiving end and I think anyone that's been in that situation where you're in a relationship and your partner's doing the dirty on you for you know maybe it's once maybe it's a

long period of time I think it hits differently once you've lived it maybe this girl's never been cheated on maybe she's never had anyone be unfaithful to her I guess there is a level and I don't know it can't be I'm going to say this but there's a level that might be dependent on the situation so for example 100% I think cheating it all cheating is different I don't think that there's one brushstroke that you can be like once a cheater always a cheater or every situation's the same like there are definitely different environments and situations that need to be taken into consideration when cheating is involved well yeah so I have a friend this is going back i mean 10 years now i have a friend that was cheating someone was i'm so she was single

but she was sleeping with a guy that was in a very committed relationship and i never said it to her but i was like it's just so fucked like that's how i felt inside i was just like why are you doing that there are so many men in the world and i think i had a conversation with her once and she said i can't explain it there's something there like i'm not just sleeping with him because i want to have sex she's like there's just something unexplainable and they were because i'm trauma bonded to hit this bullshit of a situation but they went on to get married and have kids yeah because i guess what was there obviously that that person's relationship wasn't right and it turned out to be a bit of a happy ending for the other relationship so i'm not

saying that i'm not condoning that but i'm saying there are situations where i guess i don't want to use the word leaning i don't know what the right word is there are situations where i guess it can be more acceptable but if you came to me and you're like hey fucking this guy that's married just because he's hot i'd be like laura that's not cool like i wouldn't want to know i'd be like And I would probably advise you as a friend, I'd be like, as a friend, I'm going to advise you to stop doing that immediately. But then if you're going to continue to do it, that's completely your choice. Takes two to 10 go, but I wouldn't want to know about it. I think one of the big things that we've learned from doing this podcast is that like relationships are so tricky and that

are not just tricky in that they're hard to navigate. And where do you go to the public toilet? No, but they're like, there are so many things that go on in a relationship. So it's hard to just black and white anything, even cheating. Even though we know that cheating is so detrimental to people, it is so hurtful and damaging and like a really fucking horrible thing to do to someone. We know that there is nothing in life that is black and white and is a void of that gray area. I guess in this instance, in this particular question and situation, the reason why I kind of feel like your friend is contributing to it more or really should assess her own actions, it's because she doesn't care about the other person it's her lack of empathy for the woman

who he's married to it's the lack of caring about her at all that makes me think carelessly and recklessly can go in intentionally fuck up someone's relationship when it means nothing to them like it was a one-night hookup a hang and bang and like she just doesn't care about what that looks like there's no remorse for it well when I sort of said exactly that how I felt to this guy that I know when I was like look put yourself in that position just for example reverse it but as in people we would know like you know I was like if this person was cheating on you with this person blah blah imagine how you would feel and he was like yeah you're right he's like I just he's like I guess it's so it's so innocent and you believe what they say you're like oh it's

coming to an end anyway it doesn't matter but he was like it does matter I realized that I was probably just accepting what they were saying as gospel because it suited the situation totally and he was like I will never do it again you are absolutely right that was not right I think that in this instance she's just shown that she really has a lack of empathy for other people and doesn't have any remorse and that's where the frustration lies if Jason Momoa your hall pass if you were out at a bar and he came up to you and he was like I saw you from across the room you were so beautiful never and he said do you want to come back to my apartment I I have been you could not get never there is nothing nobody in this world that would even remotely make me okay as much as we

joke about it yeah but like I've lived on the other side of it I have cheated and I have been cheated on but it goes back to what I said once you've I think once you've experienced it and it might go it might go the other way some people might maybe once they have experienced cheating maybe it makes them be a cheater because again there's no like one size fits all for this but for me being on the other side I hope to god I never cheat on anyone I hope there's no ever temptation at any point in my life and I don't imagine there would be because I'm not like that but for me it did the other thing it made me be so off cheaters well I think the thing with that is is like some people cheat they get away with it and therefore it then becomes like well I can

just do this they're there and there's no remorse and there's no empathy all that shit that I just talked about but for other people like when I say and I know that even when I say oh I've cheated in the past that there'll be some people who will listen to that and be like fuck that's because nobody ever wants to admit that they've cheated in the past you're so put into a basket of being like a bad person like a leopard can't change a spot yeah like once a cheater always a cheater but I guess from my personal experiences I've seen how damaging it can be I've seen how hurtful it can be and I've seen the pain I cause somebody else by doing it and I would never want to do that to somebody I care about ever again so for me it was like a huge lesson but I also on the

flip side of that have been cheated on so many times as well and I know how fucked it is and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone and if you're going through it I'm we're here I know not even with Jason Momoa nobody okay well I'll just text him and tell him not to come over then I mean I still want to I want to watch him I want to see him in real life I want to like rub some body oil on him and like you know just watch him my life mission is to try to get some form of contact with Jason Momoa for you whether it's like you get him to do me a birthday video that's what I was trying I'm I'm like, can I try to get a video from him? I've actually – I'm not going to lie.

I already tried once. He didn't write back. It's my birthday next week, guys. So if anyone wants to slide into my DMs with a birthday video from Jason Momoa, I'm all here for it. Or even if he was just like working out and I scooped up some sweat in a jar for him and gave it to him. Something like – there's got to be something in it.

Anyway, that is it, guys. That is it from us. But we also have an absolutely fucking cracking episode for you next week on Tuesday. If you put it in your diaries, I want to see you all 6 a.m. Tuesday next week. we are interviewing Marka Groves

I always feel bad when we do this and we haven't interviewed him yet just in case he cancels the interview is booked in like a day or two but

in case something goes wrong I always hate like telling people what it's going to be in case something happens because he's overseas internationally he's very popular

so in case something does go wrong okay we're supposed to be interviewing him tomorrow morning at 9am our time or 8am our time

if that goes terribly not to plan then he won't be on the podcast next Tuesday and we don't really have a backup We have no fucking backup, but at the moment it is Mark Groves. And he, if you guys haven't looked

him up, go online, find him on Instagram. His Instagram is create the love. Mark is an incredible relationship expert. Well, he refers to himself actually as a human connection specialist. So he's just very deep in the world of love and lust and relationships. And he puts out heaps of like really inspirational quotes that I also look at on his Instagram. I've looked at him for a long time. I followed him for a long time. He's got a million followers. A lot of you probably know about him but if you don't go and look him up because I find him a really nice go-to and he's also just like he's such a modern day philosopher when it comes to relationships and how relationships evolve and how we navigate them we're going to be doing a massive deep dive not just in

relationships but specifically I think this is going to be a really great episode for our single people and also for people who maybe are like finding themselves in a tricky situation in their current relationships and going through a bit of a like a all right where is this heading where are we now type episode well he wants to help people love better he wants to help them connect deeper communicate with intention it's going to be something that i don't think we've spoken to somebody previously not like him not like him so i'm excited you should get excited laura's excited let's hope he doesn't cancel overnight i'm so fucking excited anyway guys that is it from us and this week we hope that you've loved the ask uncut questions if you have any questions for

next week and you want to slide on into our dms you can do so at life uncut podcast you can also come join the juicy ass facebook discussion group which is the life uncut discussion group because that's where all the sexy stuff goes down and don't forget to tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love