Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Finishing Me Off, Hair Fantasies and Sharing Subscriptions

Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut, where we answer your deep, your dark and your burning questions. You know, you're lucky that I'm even here today. Your dramatic message in the group chat, which was, If I Disappear, I've Been Abducted by an Uber Driver was very ominous. Also, it doesn't give Uber drivers a good rap.

Starting point is 00:00:32 Sorry, I love Uber drivers, but Uber drivers have done stuff before. Like this, this, not to me. No, but there's been reports of people. Is that how we want to start? There's been reports of like problems over in the US, not so much here in Australia. But there has been some in Australia. No. So I don't know if I watch too much crime.

Starting point is 00:00:50 I enjoy that you doubled down on that. And you were like, no, I will give Uber drivers a bad rap. They've done a lot. Uber drivers have come to the rescue for me so many times. The amount of times I leave things places, I forget my laptop, my charger, and I'm like- My child, my firstborn. Can you please Uber Marley May back to me? I've left her in a rocking center.

Starting point is 00:01:08 I will take an Uber delivery for the child. You don't have to get a proper car. No, I'm pro Uber drivers. I love Uber drivers, but it would be remiss of us to say that some things haven't happened to people in the past. True, true. But I got in the Uber yesterday and I don't want to judge a book by its cover, but you know when their picture pops up I always look at their picture and when I look at the license

Starting point is 00:01:29 number like you're looking at what car you're getting in people say that you should share it in case something happens whatever I looked at the picture and I thought that doesn't look like him no I was just thought this this guy looks like someone that could kidnap someone that was my thought as a bit of a joke very prejudiced yeah that's what I'm saying I just said that I called my space bank I understand it you can't cancel me for it if I self-identify yeah but no but I didn't like as a bit of a joke I was like oh that guy looks like he could kidnap someone that was my internal monologue before I got in the car still got in the car I wasn't that put off by it I love when your intuition tells you something is not right and you go nah fuck it because it's worth

Starting point is 00:02:06 the risk because I know more than anyone you can't judge a book by its cover like I've had that experience so many times in life with different people I've met and I don't I just had the thought didn't deter me still got in the car anyway we're driving along he was I think he said somewhere from Poland or something, but he'd been here for quite a while. Still had a bit of an accent. But anyway, so we're cruising along and you know when Uber drivers, sometimes I'm up for a chat, sometimes you're not, right? So sometimes you're just not.

Starting point is 00:02:31 So I had my headphones in and I was just doing some work and listening to a podcast, prepping for like the week or whatever else. Don't pretend like you prepare for this. No, not for this one, for another one, for tomorrow's interview. But I was just doing some listening and prepping and he kept trying to have a convo and I would take my earphone out and talk to him and whatever else. anyway he just wanted to talk about his friend's relationships and like marriages and stuff and it

Starting point is 00:02:55 was just so weird because it was coming out of nowhere there was no prompt from me and he was telling me about he was going to his friend's house later because his friend's newly divorced and then he told me why his friend was divorcing because his friend was divorcing because the wife wouldn't let him do anything and wouldn't let him have people over and all this stuff and now I know you're thinking that this is weird that I'm telling you this story but he was dropping this information I was like oh that is strange and he was like yeah she would never just let him have people over and I was like okay and then I looked down at the map because you know how they have their phone and the map was going the weirdest way like obviously he was avoiding tolls but it was

Starting point is 00:03:30 like I'd just never seen it go that way and I was like okay that's weird goes back to telling me the story that I was not engaging in and he said yeah you know like he would say can I have some mates over can I have this person over she'd say absolutely not I haven't seen him in 10 years And I was like, okay, I know, I know. And I was like, I love how Brit was like, I didn't want to hear about this conversation but now all of us are sitting here listening to this man's friend's divorce story. Because you know like, yes, because then you know picture

Starting point is 00:03:57 when you're in the back seat, you're looking at them in the mirror, right, the rear vision mirror. I could see him keep like looking up at me when he was talking and he looked up at me and he said, for example, if I took you home right now, my wife wouldn't care and then just stared in the mirror at me. oh and I was like oh I went haha and he goes right like she wouldn't care at all if we went home right now and he said it three times then I had this moment where I was like is he taking me

Starting point is 00:04:26 home because I don't want to go home why are we heading south that's what I said and I had to I actually had to say something to him not that I didn't want to go home with him I was like yeah that that would be crazy that would never happen though and then I was like can we actually go this way and I asked him to take me a different way home but there was a moment where I was like is he taking me home yeah that's scary that's not okay because I think stuff like that has happened before yes it absolutely has and I mean I feel like a lot of people listening to this will have their own scary versions I'm not saying it's uber it could be taxis no it happens it happens all over the place any ride share I got robbed by an uber driver recently forgot about that

Starting point is 00:05:06 you just said uber drivers have done me wonders sorry sorry guys as long as they didn't rob your child speaking of packages so we here's not to want now also i'm not trying to one-up your story i'm glad you arrived i made thank you i made it safe i'm glad the package arrived safe oh no one more thing oh god sorry when we landed landed at my house it was a pilot no he said you are you right with your bag don't want to take it in for you i was like get the fuck out i was like no and then i started you know when you get out i started walking the other direction you go into another house i did i did i walked just down the street i was like oh my god are you waiting till drive away. He could have just been being nice, but I didn't get that feeling. Anyway, up my story.

Starting point is 00:05:45 Okay. So we, I'll try and make this one real quick so we can answer your questions, guys. We use Uber delivery for transferring packages between stores. So from Paddington to Bondi, this is for Tony May. If we have jewelry that needs to go between stores or if something needs to go from the warehouse to one of the stores, we'll just book an Uber delivery driver, right? I love Uber delivery. I use it all the time. All the time. And so we've never, ever had a problem so this is like you know needle in a haystack situation but we booked an uber delivery from the paddington store and it was going to the bondi store and the uber drove up he had the same so he had the correct you know how they can have their thing in the window so you know that it's

Starting point is 00:06:23 the person and on the app it was the person's photo who was in the car but he was driving a different car on the app it said a land rover and on it like it was a i don't know a honda or something anyway whoever was that was working that day was like okay well she checked it it was him fine gave it to him the second he'd taken the package he cancelled the trip so he had two and a half thousand dollars worth of jewelry and he cancelled the trip and we were like okay let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt that it's going to arrive i know because i was like what do you do anyway i found out about two hours after it had happened so he'd had two hours for anyone who's not from sydney paddington to bondi is about 20 minutes on a bad day oh no that's already sold

Starting point is 00:07:05 that's on the black market so everyone was like oh I guess it's gone and I was like no call the police like it's that's theft and we know we've got his uber details it's the same guy even if the number plate was different so I called the police and I gave them the registration everything for the Land Rover that was the one that we'd actually booked and I'm guessing it must have been like this is the situation I've kind of put together so the police are able to track the license plate right so they've obviously called the owner of the Land Rover and I'm guessing it's like a cousin or a brother and so he was just you know he'd registered through Uber using that car but he was just using other ones for deliveries and the brother has probably called him and been

Starting point is 00:07:45 like dude did you steal a fucking baggage because return it so another two hours passed four hours later that's when the police had called I got another call back from the police saying oh we've just spoken to the the Land Rover guy hopefully it'll get sorted and I was like what is going on I walk downstairs from our warehouse and I get a fucking package thrown at me by a dude who had part on the main screen. He threw it at you? He literally just, well, he was throwing it into the hallway and I just like stepped out into the hallway at the same time

Starting point is 00:08:13 and I was like, oh, here it is. Thank you for the lovely service. All we had to do was do a little call-up with the police. So, yeah, anyway. Oh, my God. I was going to put it on socials but then I was like, I don't want to poo-poo the whole situation. So we'll just do it on the podcast.

Starting point is 00:08:28 Plus it gets way more downloads. I just wonder what he was hoping to get out of the situation. Was he just hoping that you wouldn't worry about it and go, oh, well. I think he obviously saw it was from a jewelry store, so he probably thought there's something of value in here, but he probably just didn't think through the process of me calling the police. And also that you linked all your details on it.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, I think he was just like, oh, well, different license plate, how are they going to prove that? You know, like. He wasn't a mastermind. Are you joking? He's not running any bank thefts. All right, let's get into your questions. We have vibes and unsubscribes.

Starting point is 00:09:01 That's right. I forgot about those. What's your vibe in the week, Lauren? Okay, so you guys remember the other week how the poop cruise was going viral and everyone was talking about watching the poop cruise. Poop cruise was hot property. You vibed it. Did I vibe that?

Starting point is 00:09:17 Are you vibing it again? Please tell me. Nothing would make me happier. She didn't do it on the podcast. She did it on the radio. Please vibe it again. if you haven't seen Poop Cruise it's very good and her child is standing up in her womb so actually I'm not vibing Poop Cruise I'm vibing the cult of American apparel so

Starting point is 00:09:38 it's an overarching series called Trainwreck which is so good but I will admit it was the Poop Cruise that sucked me in but there is a series that is on Netflix it's called Trainwreck and they deep dive into something like whether it's a conspiracy a brand or a situation that's happened in terms of like it's a documentary but it's also super entertaining and actually quite funny as well this one isn't particularly funny but it is an insight into American apparel and anyone who lived through like the early 2000s which I'm sure we all did if you're listening to this podcast I don't think we have any nine-year-old listeners it was like the height of fashion like American apparel took over the world they were one of the absolute biggest fashion

Starting point is 00:10:21 exports out of america they also at the time really pushed the boundaries in terms of fashion marketing and it really kind of straddled this sort of like soft porn s well it's true it kind of straddled this sort of soft porn look and feel at the time it was cutting edge and it was very fashion now you would look back on it and be like that's very problematic i never wore it you never no i to be fair it wasn't something that i think was as mainstream because it was like bright leggings and like tiny leotards and stuff but huge stars did like Rihanna did they had a bespoke range for Beyonce like it was literally absolutely massive the thing is though it goes into the structure of the business so originally the business started as like a bit altruistic in

Starting point is 00:11:03 that it was one of the only major fashion houses that was doing all of its manufacturing from within America and not outsourcing anything to any third world countries Trump would love that now Yes. It was deemed as being like an amazing place to work. That is until all the people who work there came out and spoke about a man named Dov Charney. Now Dov Charney is the CEO of American Apparel and he is hugely problematic. I think people originally saw him as a bit of a visionary, but it becomes increasingly evident in watching this doco that he is also just a revolting narcissist. It's one hour. It's such a good watch. Like I found it so so fascinating there's also a real nostalgia element about it as well because the

Starting point is 00:11:44 brand was something that was like so well known to so many of us but also there is a hook at the end which I think you guys would find very interesting and it's about the company that Dov Charney went on to manage and be the head of after he left American Apparel and I think that it will speak volumes I don't want to give that away so go and watch it there's your little fascinating it's very good very good train wreck I'm all about it all right well what I want to preface mine with is that for all the listeners listening right now, we talk about our vibes before we say them and then we decide what we're going to do.

Starting point is 00:12:16 And because Laura's was a little bit more intellectual, I have gone for something that isn't. Do not use me as your scapegoat. I am. I had a medical pub journal article to recommend you and then when you did that, I decided to go for a Netflix show. Well, that was also Netflix, so now we're doubling up. Yeah, not sponsored by Netflix.

Starting point is 00:12:37 Should be. so you know all of you that know me well you know that like my favorite things to watch are something that you can get lost in for like a year so not one or two seasons i love things that have like five six seven seasons your favorite things are like true crime gory and like hideous and absolutely petrifying or lovey-dovey or yeah or like so like so fluffy and lovey that it's like what is that one the oh god something something virgin by the river or something what virgin river there you go that's something that i actually didn't watch that but maybe i'll add to this that's the bible this is something

Starting point is 00:13:17 this is just a show on netflix i think it came out in 2018 there's six seasons which is why i frothed it actually my sister sherry got me onto it not that long ago and i've just been binge watching it it's called the rookie now it is it's a show that is about rookie cops but it's not a doco show it's a scripted comedy drama like there's very serious parts and you're crying then there's bits that are really light and funny but you absolutely just fall in love with the characters it's the same characters that go over six seasons over many many years so it's one of those shows that you get sucked into the people more than the storyline so like the storyline is the same kind of thing every no i don't want to say the same thing but they're rookie cops that

Starting point is 00:13:59 are in the streets of LA and they grow together over the years and you get so sucked in in probably I'm ashamed to say this but maybe in a month I'm up to season five and 22 there's 22 episodes in a season yeah I'm not proud of it okay I'm not proud of it we had a break we had a podcast break guys there's plenty of Netflix time I live alone all right anyway it's it's on Netflix it's the rookie what I will say is I didn't love the first episode I was like I don't really get it and you know that Sheridan was like sit tight and strappy and you will be obsessed and three episodes later I can't turn off I actually think I have an addiction to the rookie cop I have a question for you what time do you go to bed if you're like just watching episode after episode

Starting point is 00:14:39 like what time do you clock off and then go okay I have not been to bed before midnight 10 years because you're just watching the rookie cop I just can't sleep before midnight my brain will not not the rookie can't be watching the rookie competition my I'm always a night owl my brain will turn on at like 9 p.m and then I do all my thinking I get on and do like so many people would wake up and get emails from me that have been sent at 12 1 2 a.m I'm just up I'm like hey sorry for the late email like I don't expect you to respond now because you're asleep but that's when my brain works better I don't know but yeah very late not proud speaking of sleep my favorite topic my vibe for the week actually has to do with sleep and I'll keep it quick it is a brand of

Starting point is 00:15:20 sheets company called Mulberry Threads. I was gifted a set of these sheets a couple of years ago, but I recently purchased more. So I purchased two sets, one on the end of financial year sales and they're a hundred percent organic bamboo. And for people who know anything about materials, apparently bamboo is really good for like thermoregulation. So really good for women, especially in different hormonal cycles. Like I have a lot of friends and I myself experienced this when I'm in certain phases of my cycle, I get like night sweats and all that kind of thing. bamboo is apparently meant to be really good for that. I would say that that is a part of the recommendation. The actual recommendation that I have is just that they're so soft and

Starting point is 00:15:58 they're not as slippery as silk, but they're close enough and they're just so much more enjoyable than what I find cotton or linen to be. So yeah, my recommendation is Mulberry Threads. They're a female founded business from WA. So there's three women. They're actually lifers. They came to our live show a couple of years ago when we were in Perth. I have a set of their sheets too. Yeah, and they get softer, like they get more and more soft after every wash. The more sex you have, yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:24 No, sorry, what? No, I wouldn't know. I don't have any. I need to get on the mulch. Oh, you absolutely need to. They're really, really comfortable. And also something that I like about them is that they have excess material for what you need.

Starting point is 00:16:36 You know how sometimes, especially if you're sleeping in bed with someone else, there's not enough sheet to go over the two of you properly. These are like extra long, like I have the queen because I have a queen mattress, but the sheets are extra long and they kind of droop almost to the ground that you can tuck in. And yeah, no, I really, really love them. And yes, Loz, you absolutely should get them.

Starting point is 00:16:56 Do you know what I learned recently? And I just found this so weird. Like this is quite sociopathic to me. It might've even been you, Laura. There are people that don't tuck their top sheet in. That's me. Hate it. I hate tucking it in.

Starting point is 00:17:07 What do you mean? I've got to free the who. Do you just lay your sheet on and that's it? So if I'm going to a hotel and they've tucked it, I have to untuck the sheet and then get in bed because I feel like I'm in a straitjacket. Same. I feel like I'm trapped. That's bad as well.

Starting point is 00:17:21 I want to be in my nook. No. And then I just pull out enough for one leg to come out and over. Oh, I hate it. Can't stand it. Like there's nothing worse to me than feeling like I'm in a burrito in my bed. Mmm, burrito. Okay, let's get into your questions.

Starting point is 00:17:36 All right, question number one. Hi, ladies. My partner and I have been going out for just over a year. We were long distance at the start for seven months, only seeing each other once a month. Fast forward to now, we are living together and have been for almost three months. Throughout our whole relationship, he has never initiated trying to finish me when having sex. I have brought this up with him and he said he doesn't like giving head. I went out and got a vibrator for us to use, but he still won't finish me off.

Starting point is 00:18:08 Sorry. I really love the way that you've described this as well. Mate, you won't finish me off. I have tried asking him and he then will but always looks so unhappy about it so I am stuck faking it. He is my penguin and I want to marry him one day but this has caused me to have thoughts of cheating just to get a good root. I am not one to have ever cheated though. My question is how do I make him want to finish me off so I don't get the feeling of being used and should I just keep finishing myself while he's at work so that I don't get thoughts about wanting to sleep with

Starting point is 00:18:39 other people oh there's so much wrong with this question please can help I really enjoyed the title for this this one was titled partner never finishes me off even when I ask do you know what firstly that I want to break down I was talking about this on the weekend I haven't used the term root since I was like the word root was really prime when we were maybe like 17 like you know when you start having sex or your friends start having sex let's bring it back it's like did you Did you root him? Did you root? Did you guys root?

Starting point is 00:19:07 Like, I just hate. I don't like it. It's crude to me. But hey, you want to use it? Let's go for it. What do you prefer in its place? Finish me off. No, but like shagged.

Starting point is 00:19:15 Have sex. Laura whacks out a shagged every now and then. Yeah, shagged's good. Yeah, I like that. Horizontal dance of love. That's too many syllables. Oh, too many. Okay, this is very problematic.

Starting point is 00:19:26 We can laugh and laugh and laugh, but it's very problematic. Firstly, I don't think that the answer here is for you to be faking it and or finishing yourself off in the day, like orgasming in the day alone, just so that you can get an orgasm and get through the night. Also, I just had this image of him when you're like, he does it, but begrudgingly. I picture him doing like this, but I'm just like going down. It's strange to me that like, okay, on one hand, you've done the right thing where you're bringing it up with him and you're saying this is a problem and you want more. But then the answer then is to not fake it because he now thinks that you're orgasming. Like if you're faking that, he thinks

Starting point is 00:20:01 he's done his job so I don't think that is the answer I think you need to have a real sit down conversation with him it also doesn't have to be about going down on you unless that's the only way that you can personally orgasm is by oral sex then like that is a more of an issue if he detests oral sex yeah but the thing is is that can't be the case because she said she's bought a vibrator so to use totally and she's obviously not going down on herself so there is Marilyn Manson who was the one that took his ribs out allegedly but that's the thing right she can obviously don't sue us she can obviously come without you know having someone go down on her so it's not like that's the only thing just sounds like he's lazy af of course you feel used

Starting point is 00:20:42 yeah he is using you you have sex he comes he stops and he's done like he's getting everything that he needs in that situation and you're getting nothing and now it's pushing you to the point that you want to cheat like you want to have those romantic relationships elsewhere to get what you need when you very well could be getting it in your own home. I just want to like lay out some of the timelines here for you as well, because this to me is like a big fucking red flag. So you guys dated for seven months long distance. You only saw each other once a month during that. So you saw each other seven times doing long distance. You know, obviously you probably spent a week or two together, whatever. Well, it depends how long you're together every month.

Starting point is 00:21:17 Yeah. But still it's long distance. So I'm going to guess that you have jobs and whatnot. So it probably wasn't, I mean, if it was any more extended than that, it probably wasn't long distance. Okay. And now you've been living together for three months. You've only been together for a year. These are not the sorts of problems you should be having this early on in a relationship. Actually, these are not sorts of problems you should be having at all in a relationship. This to me is so deeply selfish of him that he's only prioritizing his own pleasure. And the fact that when you have brought it up and said like, I don't know how you brought it up firstly, but you said, I have brought this up with him. And he said, he doesn't like giving head.

Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah. That's weird to me. Yeah. That's okay. He doesn't have to go down on you if he doesn't want to, but he does have to care as to whether you're enjoying sex with him or not and it sounds like he doesn't and then when you say like he kind of seems unhappy about it or like frustrated so then you're stuck faking it it is absolutely not your job to fake an emotion which is like to fake an orgasm to make him feel better that he's doing a good job when he's absolutely not and I would be having some really honest conversations with him and I think the most important part about this is what you highlighted Brit but it's when you say you feel like you're

Starting point is 00:22:24 being used yeah I think that is the conversation that you need to have not saying hey I want you to make me come I want you to finish me off I really think that this is a conversation about like the fact that you don't care about my pleasure makes me feel used it makes me feel as though you only care about yourself and I don't want to be having sex with you if you when it comes to me feeling satisfied you do it begrudgingly and yeah I'm not here to serve as you yeah and that is like a big conversation that needs to be had I also probably would pump the breaks a little bit on the sex that you're having because it sounds like you're not enjoying it so why are you having it right like just edge him just edge him and don't ever finish him

Starting point is 00:23:01 just get him there and they'll be like i'm done like like that's i mean not not really tip the tat but do it maybe it's fine just like try once we're okay but i think like don't prioritize his satisfaction and his pleasure it's clearly something that's become a pattern in your relationship you've been together for 12 months now if you don't address this if you don't make him aware of how this is affecting you, you either will cheat. I mean, you're already saying that you're fantasizing about it. You either will cheat or you're going to get the ick for your own partner because he doesn't care about how you feel in the bedroom, which is just like, no one wants that for an intimate relationship. And you'll start to completely resent not just

Starting point is 00:23:41 him, but your intimacy in the relationship and the sex. Like when you know it's, you know, I think back to a relationship a very long time ago that I had, there's nothing worse than when you love somebody but there are parts of it that you detest so when it comes to going to bed or something you're like oh I don't really want to do it like when you get to that point where you don't want to be having sex with someone anymore it's a really horrible place to be and it's not it's like you still love them but maybe that sex is coming from something else that reason is coming from something else like this like you're like okay you're going to end up not wanting to go to bed with him and not wanting to have sex at all because it's going to put you off so much

Starting point is 00:24:17 of the fact of how selfish he's been and the fact that he doesn't listen that you never get to come that you are feeling used, like all of those things are going to build up. They're not just going to sit there and you're not going to be okay with them forever. So if you have a sit down conversation with him and you tell him all of these things, and he still says he doesn't care or doesn't want to finish you off, it's not then just about the sex. It's a bigger issue of him not caring about you and your needs as a whole, not just your sexual needs. But if you can go to your partner and say like, I need this, whatever it is, emotionally, physically, it doesn't matter. And if they say, I don't care, I'm getting what I need, I wouldn't be in that relationship.

Starting point is 00:24:53 All right, next question. All right. I love this question. My boyfriend has a pube fantasy. I would love some advice on a conversation I've recently had that truly took me by surprise. I've been seeing a guy on and off for about a year. Originally, we were just friends with benefits, but now we're at the point where it's very serious.

Starting point is 00:25:12 I'm away at the moment. And if it wasn't for that, we'd definitely be full on dating. So we were texting the other night and things got saucy and he revealed that he thinks it would be super hot if I grew my pubes out. Now, the problem is I've had laser and I literally am unable to do this. But also, personally, I don't feel sexy with pubes and I am a swimmer. He even suggested that he would like to style my pubes and mentioned that he'd been fantasizing about styling them for weeks.

Starting point is 00:25:43 What does that mean? I just picture like a mohawk, like a jails. Yeah, like jazzled. With French braids down the sides. Two French braids. Cornero's like, what does her styled pubic hair look like? Or is it just like a manicured landing strip? Is that what you mean?

Starting point is 00:25:57 No, I think he wants to style it. Like maybe he's a barber. I mean, we don't yuck people's yum if that's your fetish cute, but I haven't heard of a styling pubic. I'm not yucking the yum. I'm laughing because I can't visualize what type of styling he wants to do. I just see the two French braids down the lips all the way. So she said, this for some reason makes me feel uneasy. Her question is, do you know if it's a

Starting point is 00:26:19 common occurrence for pube styling amongst men? I'm at a complete loss. Does this mean the laser needs to go? For context, I'm 22 and he's 24. I would appreciate advice on this one. I think pubic hair is so personal, but there was a period there where a group of my mates were like, the bush is back. And that was their take on it. But the problem is, is that everyone is lasered now so the bush ain't coming back we are bald turkeys and everyone is suffering but that's the problem here it doesn't really matter what we think you've laid it off you're gonna buy a maybe that's what you do you you role play put a merkin on he can style it any way he wants and that's the fake pubes that they used them for fashion week last year it was a made a real

Starting point is 00:27:03 comeback but you can buy a merkin online produce kisha can you google the cost for us i don't want the cookies see what i am that's your like now like sponsored ads in facebook just and toupees just in case top and bottom oh my god i'm just gonna google if you can know but i wonder if you can get clip in like our fringes you gotta have something yeah your labia the clitoris my thing with this is and you just mentioned it for it's saying like fashion week had stick on merkins pubic hair is back like there are a group of people there is a rising interest in pubic hair I think going through the early 2000s we were all told like pubic hair is out no pubic hair completely bald turkey is the way to be and some of us went and got laser and

Starting point is 00:27:46 some of us overdid it and now we will never ever ever be able to come back with that fashion trend when it comes back around but I think like anything there's always going to be people who prefer one thing over another there's always going to be men and women who prefer no pubic hair and there's always going to be men and women who prefer having pubic hair do you know I mean I think it's totally personal preference both of you were looking at your laptops because you're both googling the constant style merkins but it's this is not what i was looking for i'm updating our website okay because i don't want the merkin cookies not one of you have looked at me the whole time because i'm sorry look at this one it's got feathers and stuff that one literally looks like

Starting point is 00:28:23 a sweet potato i think that's for fishing my my thoughts on this is like unfortunately There isn't anything that you can do. If you've been lasered and it's also not your style, it's fine. It's the same that like some girls might like facial hair on a guy and then other people might not like facial hair. It doesn't mean that their partner has to have it or doesn't have to have it. You can have a preference.

Starting point is 00:28:46 You can have something that you like in your partner. And if they don't want to do it or they can't do it, like it doesn't mean you like them any less. Hear me out. Is it a common occurrence for somebody to want to style your pubes? No, I don't think so. Does that mean there's something wrong with it? No.

Starting point is 00:29:00 everybody has their fantasies and their fetishes I don't think that I truly we're laughing if your partner likes it looking a certain way and you've got pubic hair there's nothing wrong with that like if that's what gets him off who cares but yeah you do have the problem that you don't have pubic hair so you either have to have that conversation with him where you say hey if this is like a real thing you can get a merkin like they are a thing I'm being serious I'm trying to solve their problem you can get it and stick it on he obviously thinks that you can grow yeah I don't know why he's telling you he's just like he's like oh I prefer pubic hair with the hopes that you're going to grow it out for him but the thing is you can't so just be

Starting point is 00:29:38 honest and say unless that that is gone with the 10,000 laser sessions I had unless you are and maybe this is the thing because you have said doesn't mean the laser needs to go you could be like five lasers into a 12 laser session like you could be at the cusp where if you stop it does grow back because you do need to commit to the whole thing I remember because I did laser when I must have been 12 years ago now like I must have been about mid-20s when I started my first laser session and I never did the follow-ups which means over the 10 years it grew back but I remember at the time I was seeing this guy the guy that I've spoken about that was on and off for three years situationship that I thought was going to go somewhere and I remember having the conversation

Starting point is 00:30:18 with him and I like shows my age then and maybe my experience and how naive I was in the world but I remember asking him what he prefers because I was like look I'm committing to this going but you can when you start a laser you can pick what you want do you want a laser in a landing strip do you want a laser in like a bald eagle do you want to whatever you want you can pick your laser and I remember asking him being like you pick what I get and I would never do that now but I remember thinking like okay if this is going to be my partner I'm going to take into consideration oh I know and I rolled my own eyes at that now but like but like when I was 25 I was a different person like I wanted to be loved and I wanted to please my partner and make them happy

Starting point is 00:30:59 and my existence at that time of my life was like I bent so many of my own boundaries to try and stay in a relationship but you know because I wanted that and I look back now and I would never do that like but I haven't seen my vulva or my vagina in weeks mate you could probably braid mine. Give it a cornrow. I have no idea what's happening. I've seen it. Sometimes when you cross your legs, I see it. These pants are a bit sheer. Thank God full bush is back. I just tell Matt I'm in trend and I have not seen it. It's fashion. Let alone, it was like we were down in Ulladulla for the whole holidays. And at the end of it, Matt was like, how's your armpits going? And I just have given up. I have given the fuck up and I don't even care. I also am like, no, I actually

Starting point is 00:31:42 did shave my armpits before coming into work. Well, thanks. You don't do it for your husband, but my legs, everything else. I can't reach. And I get really short winded when I reach down to my shins. You're excused. So it's really hard, but I see you're excused. Firstly. And I think it has to be said in this conversation. There is so much commentary and has been for so long around having nobody hair as a woman, like being lasered from the eyelashes all the way down to your toes. Do you know what I mean? And I just think it's ridiculous. That's my personal opinion. I saw that one picture of Julia Roberts when she was at the, she was on a red carpet event and she was waving during her era of pretty woman and she's stunning and gorgeous and she's waving and

Starting point is 00:32:20 she's has full underarm hair and I'm like you know what that was like so before it's time and now I think that there's been this backlash in terms of like it's swung back around where there's people online who are quite happy to talk about having body hair women are allowed to have body hair and it's also fucking great that there are some men out there who think it's sexy who think it's sexy do you know I mean like let's not totally let's not make out that they're weird for it like if anything it's not the weird for the hair it's the wanting to play style totally but i actually think yes the styling is is probably one step further but i actually think it is probably weirder as a grown man to want a vagina or a vulva to be completely hairless because that to me is

Starting point is 00:33:01 very fucking childlike so i'm like no i don't go down i don't agree i do i think it's very prepubescent vibes which is fine like obviously we all do it no of course it's that vibe i don't think that that's why people like it i think that's i mean there would be people that would for sure but i think this is a different conversation i think it's just become a part of our generation that we are accustomed to saying this is associated with a sexy woman like i think that that's just what we've grown into i don't think our partners are looking at us when they like us people look at it like it's cleaner and more manicured but we all know that in fact when you have hair is what keeps it cleaner and more protected like that's what hair is for hair is to

Starting point is 00:33:37 stop bacteria and things getting in there and red flags from getting in. It just keeps the red flags up. I just think we have a weird hang-up when it comes to female, and I don't think we do. Society has a weird hang-up when it comes to female body hair. We do not have those same limitations on men. We have different sets of rules. Like you see a woman who has underarm hair online

Starting point is 00:33:57 and the comments will be like, that's so dirty. No one is looking at a man's underarm and saying it's dirty. Do you know what I mean? It's just we have very different sets of expectations. and for the women who are brave enough to just be able to grow out their body hair and not give a fuck that's not me at the moment mine's out ladies laziness but like good for them is what i think yeah there's nothing wrong with what he wants at all the problem is you can't do it so you need to have the conversation you need to have the combo with him about what it looks like not physically

Starting point is 00:34:23 literally looks like but what it looks like that how you can meet halfway is this a really big thing for him where it's the only thing that turns him on do you need to get the fake merkin you know just let him know he probably doesn't know you've lasered off he probably doesn't even know what laser means he probably doesn't know laser means you know essentially forever permanent yeah but it's not you're trying to ask if it's normal and if it's weird it's fine it's completely fine all right next question I use my ex's Amazon account and my new boyfriend thinks it's disrespectful so my ex and I share an Amazon Prime account when we were together the login was under my email yet he paid for the rolling subscriptions we have been broken up for almost

Starting point is 00:34:59 two years but we both still use the same account as I'm unable to get a new one because it's literally under my email and he said he's happy for me to continue using it even though he's just paying for it my current boyfriend finds it extremely uncomfortable and disrespectful even though the only time I use the account is to watch the occasional tv show or movie I have no communication with my ex what are your thoughts on this no keep it yeah I think it's fine he's saving you money your boyfriend should be happy I think your boyfriend sounds insecure about it which is like, okay. I think sometimes there are some people who, who, when it comes to exes, they want to pretend like they never existed. You know, they want complete severance of any type of

Starting point is 00:35:39 idea that you were ever in a past relationship. And for him, he just thinks that this is a weird link to your ex-boyfriend. But if your ex-boyfriend's fine with it, if you're fine with it, if there's no need to communicate about the Amazon prime account, I would say it's more like logistically easy rather than it being something that's relationship threatening I was just laughing thinking about you know when if it's a toxic breakup and you block them on everything and that like the only way that he could access you is that he starts watching things like miss you you were the one or like something so that comes up in your recently love letter like that he's just communicating yeah yeah I think unless it's and this does happen unless now your current

Starting point is 00:36:21 boyfriend has it drilled into his head that every time you guys turn on Netflix he thinks of your ex which sometimes happens like sometimes something's come up and you know what is it it's like that retroactive jealousy this is this is that without being that like he's obviously uncomfortable there's still some connection or maybe he finds it emasculating that your ex is the one paying for something when he could be I don't know what it is but he's uncomfortable with it so I think it's fine I think he's saving you money but you need to ask why he has the problem If he thinks it's disrespectful and that's it, is it disrespectful to who, to him or to your ex?

Starting point is 00:36:56 If he thinks it's disrespectful to your ex, you have the argument of saying he's happy with it. Like the thing is, it's not costing him more. He's going to pay for it regardless of whether you get your free Netflix or not. I would suspect that he actually thinks it's disrespectful to him. Yes. That's what I think it is. And in which case you say, that's all right.

Starting point is 00:37:13 You pay for the Amazon Prime account. I'll just log into yours. Totally. Like log into his, do you know what I mean? It's so annoying that it was set up with your ex-partner's credit card and your email. That's an annoying situation because you can't get a second one. But I guess if there's a solution to this, it is, well, I'll log in on your account then. Play on.

Starting point is 00:37:31 I think it's fine. I also think like- Life doesn't give you many opportunities to get ahead. Take it. All right. Last question. All right. We recently got engaged and are in the fun, stressful part of wedding planning.

Starting point is 00:37:44 My fiancé and I have gotten into an argument as he has requested that he would like his mum to come to my wedding dress appointment. This is my first appointment and I don't even know what dresses I like or what looks good and I'm really only going to initially get a feel for what's out there and what looks good on me. I'm currently living interstate and my mum is flying down to come with me. She's also buying my wedding dress. I've also got one of my close friends flying in to come with me too.

Starting point is 00:38:10 I tried to explain to him that I always envisage this being a really special moment between my mum and those who are in my bridal party and personally I don't think it's normal for the mother of the groom to come to these appointments. However he has told me that everyone who he has spoken to or that has gotten married had both mums present and he's insisting on his mum being there. I'm not insisting on my mum being there when he gets his tux so I really just don't know how to get my point across to him. I really don't think this is normal and my friends are all telling me that there is essentially no normal and it's whatever I want at the end of the day. I just don't know what to say to get him to understand how I'm feeling and that it's nothing personal.

Starting point is 00:38:49 I just would prefer it being an experience with my mum and I. I would love to hear your advice. This is a tricky one because look, at the end of the day, it could be his mum that's pushing to come because she wants to be included in this part of the wedding. And in which case, like you saying that you don't want your mum there because you've envisaged it in a certain way is absolutely okay that is something you're allowed to choose is it something that could cause some dramas yes possibly like a lot of these situations that arise around weddings or special events kind of come down to how important is this thing to you versus the drama that it could cause and would is it your husband that's the one who's getting upset about this or is it your mother-in-law who's getting

Starting point is 00:39:30 upset about this because I think that there'd be conversations to have and I mean partly here's like a different side of it it's really nice that your mother-in-law wants to be involved and she's so supportive of you and she's so like obviously adores you and wants to be a part of it if that's the case she may be someone who's super controlling and wants to like you know have a finger in all the pies it doesn't sound like that that is the situation here I guess the only thing that you can do is have a really honest conversation with your husband to be about it it sounds like you've done that it sounds like you know the example that you have made where you said like your mom's not coming to his tuxedo fitting you can make that example to him and explain why it's something

Starting point is 00:40:10 you have envisaged it just being your mum and your bridesmaid you wanted to keep it really small it's something that you have thought about and it's something that's important to you and then see how he reacts but I don't know how you can navigate this without someone either being disappointed or hoping that your partner comes to the table I think there's a few options here at the end of the day it is your wedding and your special day of course you can do what you want and You can have whomever you want there. Well, it's yours and your partner's wedding. Yes.

Starting point is 00:40:36 It's your wedding together. It's not your wedding. Yes, but your dress is you. Your dress is about you. You don't have to have anyone there or you can have all the people you want there. I do agree with Laura that if you think it's going to cause a huge problem, I would just let her come. Like a huge family rift, I would let her come unless you know her type of personality and

Starting point is 00:40:54 she's a particular person that you know will ruin the experience for you or give unwanted opinions or if you know who she is at her core and you know it's not going to fit your experience, then I would double down and say no. If she's a lovely mother-in-law and she just wants to be involved, I would probably let her come. Yeah. Having said that, maybe like a really happy medium is that, I mean, one dress fitting doesn't exist. In no world do you go and find, I mean, maybe you do, a perfect dress and then that is it and you never have to have a fitting or take it in or whatever. So maybe she just comes to one of them. Maybe it's the first one where you're still haven't completely decided on the dress but you're getting a feel for things maybe she comes to the

Starting point is 00:41:33 second one once you've decided and it's you know no questions asked we're locking this in you can see it or maybe and this is what I personally did I didn't want anyone to see my dress like I wanted that to be a surprise like my mama included she saw the dress for the first time on the wedding day you know with my dad they walked in and saw me and that was what I wanted and so you could also say that and your husband-to-be can't argue that point if you say like it's really important to me and I want to have a surprise and I want to go on this journey just with my bridesmaid and they're the only people I want to see it. He doesn't get to argue that point. But if it's going to cause a whole rift with your family, I would probably just try and find a happy medium

Starting point is 00:42:10 of letting her to come to one of the appointments. Yeah. I think the way that the question was worded was interesting because firstly, you were trying to downplay it when you said, we've gotten into an argument. It's my first wedding appointment. I don't even know what dresses I like. I don't even know what's going to look good on me. You know, it's, I'm just going to get an initial feel of what's out there that's how this started and then you said my mom's flying in my best friend's flying in and I want it to be a really special moment between my mom and those in my bridal party so I think the problem is is like it is actually important to you and it is something that means a lot so I think be careful with how you communicate it to him because don't

Starting point is 00:42:43 downplay it because if you're downplaying it then he's like well why can't she come and that's kind of why this question is conflicting you've downplayed and then you've said actually how important it is to you for it to be a specific way and that's where this probably argument has stemmed from I guess you know in terms of like my personal experience with my wedding my mother-in-law didn't come to my wedding dress shopping whatever experience my mum and my bridal party came actually not even my like just a couple of girlfriends came we flew to Melbourne and my mother-in-law I to be honest I fucking love Ellie to death she lives with me she was literally there for the birth of Marley May in the room but like I didn't even think to invite my mother-in-law to

Starting point is 00:43:21 that part of the experience. So I don't think it's just normal and I guess you can have many examples for your partner as to how like maybe some of his friends have done that but that doesn't make it the status quo because everyone's wedding experience is so completely different and I guess it comes down to whatever the two of you want but you do kind of have to get on the same page with this because you don't want to be having a fight over your wedding dress shopping. It's going to ruin the whole experience for you. And one thing that I well Ben and I came to the conclusion of and I brought it up, but maybe she doesn't have daughters. So maybe, you know, she only has sons and she might not get that experience herself. But I felt like we needed to include Ben's mum

Starting point is 00:44:03 in some way because my mum was walking me down the aisle. You know, she was a big part of that. My dad was marrying us. He was a big part of that. And then what Ben's parents just turn up, you know, that's not fair just because he's the male. So Ben's dad did a big speech and we asked Ben's mom to bring the rings up she was the ring bearer you know we had nieces and nephews but they went down the aisle and had their moment and I wanted her to feel included as well so there's a big chance that maybe she wants to just be included in some part of your wedding journey and so maybe you can think outside the box a little bit if you don't necessarily want her there for the first dress fitting there's other ways you can always include them to make it feel

Starting point is 00:44:39 special because it's her son's wedding as well at the end of the day the last thing you want to be doing is arguing about you've said you had a big argument it's going to ruin all of it doesn't matter what you do now, because it's not going to feel as nice and as special. Like it's going to feel, if you don't invite your mom and it's ended on an argument, your mother-in-law, you're going to have your wedding dress fitting and it's going to feel shit because it's not going to be this special occasion because your husband-to-be is annoyed at you and you guys are fighting about it. So I would say have some very honest conversations, get on the same page, make sure that everyone feels heard and listened to. And if it means making a compromise that you

Starting point is 00:45:14 can be okay with, then that's great. If you absolutely can't make this compromise, then I think you need to do a very good job of explaining why this is important to you and hope that your partner can see that for himself as well. Or you put your foot down and you say, okay, my mom is coming to your tuxedo fitting. My mom's coming. She is coming. Now don't do that to your mom. She doesn't want to go there. But maybe then it will help him to see parallels. Yeah, so you put the shoe on the other foot. And be like, if you absolutely want your mom to come to this, then my dad, for example, is going to your tuxedo fitting. He's coming. And your husband might be like, sure, I don't care. And then in which case, like that's, that's your answer. The thing with

Starting point is 00:45:52 weddings is that there is no normal. Everyone does things so differently. And also it is such a pressure cooker time for when fights and family drama like to rear their head. And I think you've got to remember it's you and your husband united on these decisions. Otherwise it's really going to taint the experience for you because you're going to end up fighting around stuff that should be a really happy moment. Totally. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. And that is all for Ask Uncut. If you have any questions for us, slide on into the DMs at Life Uncut Podcast. You can watch all the episodes on YouTube. You can also join the discussion. If there's anything that you have further thoughts on that doesn't fit into a caption on Instagram, you can go and join the

Starting point is 00:46:30 discussion at Life Uncut Discussion Group. These are great to play on YouTube for the Ask Uncuts when you're at home or with your partner. We get so many people writing saying that they just put it on the TV, let it play out. Then they stop it before we answer it. And they have these conversations with their partner on the Ask Uncut. Like, what would you do? What would we do? They nut it out and then they play the answer. I think it's a really good thing to do at home with your partner. Are you guys sometimes surprised if you ask, you know, Ben or Matt and they respond in a way that completely shocks you? For me, this week I asked my boyfriend about the ex-Amazon account And he was like, no, that's so weird.

Starting point is 00:47:05 And I was like, what? We just saw it so differently. And I was really surprised. Sometimes every now and then I'll ask an Ask Uncut question and I'll just kind of ask for his opinion on it. And it really surprises me that we have completely conflicting answers. What was his issue with it? He just thought it was strange.

Starting point is 00:47:22 He was like, she should just have her own. Like, she should just change who's paying for it. And I was like, oh, maybe I'm just the tight ass. Like, I'd keep riding that wave. You're like, it must be nice to have a good salary. Yeah, ride it into the sunset. all right guys well that is it you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love

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