Life Uncut - Ask uncut - Flakey friends, fugly engagement rings and bonking at your mates

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Welcome to the day of the week where you feel slightly better about the weird, wacky or shitty things that happen in your life!It's ask uncut where we answer your deep dark and burning questions!Today we are jumping in with a dilemma of a ring!What do you do if you hate your engagement ring??Flakey friends where you're fed up!&Can you have sex in a friend's place? If you love the ep, we'd really love a review. 5 stars would be fabbbbbulous.Share it with someone you love because we love love!x xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. Now you know exactly what this episode is. Hang on, you didn't say who you are. Oh yeah, I'm Laura. Oh my god, how would you know? How would you possibly know? This is Brittany. Everybody knows the laugh.

One job, Laura. You've got one job. Nobody could mistake whose laugh that is. Give me another one, a Brittany special. No, now I'm self-conscious. Said no Brittany ever. It's the best laugh. This is our Thursday episode because it's a Thursday

and we answer all your deep, dark and burning questions here on Life Uncut. Thanks, Inspector Gadget. This is our Thursday episode because it's a Thursday. But also we are extremely unqualified to do this. But as I haven't said it for a while, but I'm going to tell you we're very enthusiastic and we come here with much life advice from the lived experiences that we've had from all the cook stuff that we've done ourselves I cannot tell you

how much time Laura and I have spent together this week I feel like we're making up for lost time we had a few months apart and now we feel like we need to be in each other's pockets we've gone for walks we've had coffees we've hung out we had a wine I have seen you more than I have seen my own children and Matthew Johnson combined Matt keeps calling me being like when are you coming home i'm like never britney's back i'm at britney's house i'm at britney's stop calling me it's like when you're calling me it's like when your husband goes down to the pub and just doesn't come home honey when are you coming home except it's just me here i'm in a tunnel eating galveston and drinking wine so before we get into talking about your questions and we've picked out some real

doozies for you i've got some news guys you might have known she's not pregnant oh are you please tell me you're not pregnant i no i wouldn't be saying it with such joy in my voice um we wanted to tell you if you didn't already know celeb spellcheck she's back baby and she's back with an absolute vengeance how do you just go on a hiatus because okay if you don't know who celeb spellcheck is celeb spellcheck is an instagram it's an instagram profile and it basically calls out celebrities for silly things they do also some controversial things for terrible spelling mistakes but Celeb Spellcheck she went on a hiatus we didn't really know why she sort of was like you know it's just it's too much effort it's veering down a track I don't want it to go down but what

happened in her life for her to say you know what all of a sudden I have the time and energy and I'm coming back like I wonder what it was because she's anonymous no one knows who she is no one knows anything about her except that she's a female what was it did she just wake up one day She's like, man, that's enough. I'm bored. Yeah, I reckon that's exactly what happened. I was like, I reckon it's time to fuck some celebrity's lives up. I just think there was heaps of shit on the internet going around.

She's like, this is too good not to share. Like people were just handing it to her on a platter. So she really had no other option. Well, okay. So if you don't know like the timeline with Celeb Spellcheck, basically, and we spoke about it a lot on some older episodes, but if you're new to the potty, Celeb Spellcheck used to just call out influencers, celebrities, real D grade celebrities for just the embarrassing stuff that we all do on social media.

and the profile would hold celebrities and influencers to a higher set of standards it would really call out when influencers would make spelling mistakes or and it all started out pretty innocent it was all pretty funny but then celeb spellcheck started getting called out for bullying it evolved because and it wasn't so much the account that was bullying it was the comment section it was the people who followed celeb spellcheck and i guess the sentiment of that sort of and the conditioning of that sort of environment and that sort of community it's like when one person puts something out and says, Hey, look, this is funny. You're also saying to your followers, it's okay for you to all laugh at this person. It started off as a really small

account. Now there is 165,000 followers. So that's a pretty huge community. And I think that when there's 165,000 people commenting, Oh, you're an effing idiot because somebody has made a spelling mistake. It can have some more negative effects. But in saying that, Celeb Spellcheck is back, back with a vengeance back to entertain i'm not mad about it because i freaking love the account bits and pieces of it britney and i have slightly different views yeah look i i'm still on the fence about it but at the start i loved it when it was just like taking a little bit of the piss out of people for their spelling or grammar or of course there's a moment of embarrassment where you're like oh like i can't believe i did that and everyone knows i can't spell but also it's still

slightly funny when I started to not vibe it so much was when I thought it was sending its army on people intentionally or not intentionally and I'm sure it was unintentionally I think she just thought something was funny she called them out on it but like Laura just said it starts to it has a knock-on effect whether we want to believe it or not when anyone with the following publicly posts about somebody that they're mocking them or they're calling them out it sends an army after them and that's when I started to be a bit like I don't know how I feel about this anymore and it wasn't about the spelling anymore. It was about real personal things or things that they're doing or I don't know. It was just, for me, I was very fence sitting at that point. Yeah. And I guess

like we've all heard about this idea of cancel culture. Like I think most people are across what cancel culture is, but I actually think that there's a new trend that's happening on social media, especially Instagram. And maybe it's not that new. Maybe there's just a name for it now, but it's pile on culture. It's like everybody jumping on the hate of one person and giving their views giving their their two seconds of opinion but when people with big followings do it and they use one person as the target you're unleashing your army you're telling your followers hey it's okay for you to dm that person as well there's like a there's a level there of validation that it's okay for us all to do this if one person does it publicly and you have to remember there's

a real person on the other side of that it's not just a robot on the other side of that computer or the other side of that phone or instagram account there's a real person with real feelings going through real shit in their own life. Totally and I guess the one thing we wanted to talk about on this because this is weird guys. I mean this was crazy. This is crazy and this is something that Celeb Spellcheck posted and it's how we kind of got down the rabbit hole of this Instagram post but basically there is an influencer in the US her name is Jane Riviera and the reason why we came across this Instagram influencer is because it's one of Celeb Spellcheck's last posts so if you haven't seen it never heard of her there's a good chance you wouldn't have heard

of us. She's an American influencer with 80,000 followers. But just this week, her father has passed away, which is horrifically tragic. She's a very young girl, but she's done a funeral photo shoot and it is wild. Absolutely. Well, I am speechless about this. So there is a series of photos that Celeb Spellcheck has put up on her Instagram. And it is a full on photo shoot that this person is taken standing in front of the open casket of her father so there's about six photos in this photo shoot that Laura's talking about that you swipe across so it's like a carousel on the gram and they're all the same photo they're all her standing in a black dress she looks beautiful black dress makeup hair and she is beautiful but she's that's not the problem the

problem is she's standing in front of the casket of her father which is I'm talking like she's 30 centimeters in front of it and her post is about her father passing but the photos are literally just her working her best angles it was like popped knee pouting smizing up like sexy looks to the camera it's she's very front and center and who are we to say we know it's going through her mind we know why she did it we don't know anything about that but what we do know is that this funeral photo shoot is something that no one's ever really seen before we don't know what to do with it I think it is so innately wrong to be doing a photo shoot at a funeral of your father again we don't know what went on and if I didn't if you had to describe this Laura and I hadn't

seen the pictures I would have said there was no way I couldn't imagine it the comment section on this poor girl's Instagram has gone bonkers with people just saying this has got to be satire this cannot be real this is the worst thing I've ever seen on the internet basically like who the fuck are you and what the fuck is wrong with you it is actually insane well I mean the content of the photos like Britt said if you hadn't seen it you would not believe it it is it's the sort of photo shoot that you would expect to see someone doing at the beach like posing in front of a beautiful sunset or the ocean not in front of a casket where you can literally see her father's hands crossed over in the casket behind her like it makes you viscerally uncomfortable and I guess

the question I mean there's so many questions but the first one I want to ask is like are we so and is there a generation or are there people who are so desensitized and have been brought up with social media being so front and center that creating content is more important than life moments you know big life moments and I guess there's so many parts of this that it's hard to it's hard to say how are we going to react when there is grief how do you react in these moments of real life turmoil but I think anybody who saw those photos felt as uncomfortable as we did totally and I guess to answer your question Laura we live in a world where no this is not normal posting I've never seen anything like it I've never heard anything like it and by the looks

of the comments the news articles that have taken this on board and are talking about it we've never no one's seen anything like it it is definitely an anomaly but yeah we do live in a world now where social media is front and center and it's very evidently taking a dangerous turn if people are thinking how can I get content at my father's funeral I also feel so incredibly sorry for her and for what she's experiencing because I mean the grief of experiencing your father's funeral is one thing but also living in a life where your self-validation and your purpose comes from other people's commentary you know I'm sure she was expecting people to say I am you know I'm sorry for your loss I'm sure she was expecting to receive comments that were condolences but it was

honestly thousands and thousands and thousands of messages of people being like what the fuck which only adds to the grief that she would have already been experiencing and I mean you can't go and look at the photos now she's completely deactivated her account you can go and look at them on celeb spellcheck because celeb spellcheck still has the post up but I have another question Britt what is your opinion just in general about taking photos at a funeral don't do it don't don't take your phone out don't take you look i know we're gonna go with this because funerals are a funny thing and i don't mean funny because they're not funny but it's a funny thing because generally you're catching up with family members that you probably haven't seen in a while

it's definitely an event that brings people together obviously not for the reason that you want to it's not like a christmas get together but you might have all of your family and friends in the same place for the first time in years and it might you might not have it again for the next time in years so I get why some people might find that that's an opportunity to get some snaps for me I it makes my skin crawl a little bit I can't imagine doing it because I think even though you're with your family and you're wanting to catch up with relatives and things like that for me the feeling of immense grief I wouldn't be able to look at a camera and smile a happy photo anyway so I think for me I'd prefer not to be in photos I'd prefer not to take photos

at a funeral obviously it's very subjective it depends on who the person is what they wanted what their wishes were for the funeral your family there are so many aspects and I can only speak personally but for me I probably would leave my phone home yeah it's a weird one because I remember at my uncle's funeral my auntie whipped out a camera and she was taking photos and I and I instantly like recoiled I was like oh god this is like awkward don't do that but then I thought about it a bit and I was like we're so quick to want to capture and remember every other thing that happens in life like you know we want to capture good memories and I think for a lot of people not that funerals have to be bad memories but it's like that's the last time that you really

have that person in the same room that you are together as a family that you're recognizing that person who is a huge and fundamental part of your life that lived and had their own story and a funeral is part of that story so I guess it's not just like this family reunion element but it's also like remembering the funeral as well like maybe it's not such a weird thing after all maybe it's also a cultural thing because I do think that there are people who are okay with taking photos at funerals like it's not such a taboo topic I think I would probably want to maybe take the photos the next day family is still around you're probably going to have a barbecue or a breakfast or another family get together like there's always a day after in my experience

there's always been like a day after get together when all the family have traveled for a funeral for me if I was going to be doing anything family oriented with photos that's when it would be i just could not ever fathom taking the camera out but again like you just said there's so many people that would there's nothing wrong with it for me it's just a no but maybe not an open casket instagram photo shoot no if i saw this girl's photo and you hadn't told me the context i would have said she's an influencer selling that dress like it had to be a joke i just thought wow that's a great dress and you almost don't notice what's behind her because she's so front and center and then you see his hands poking out from behind oh god let's get into the questions for today

that was dark morbid and macabre for a start to an ask uncut let's lift it let's go higher where can we go i'm gonna bring you question number one perfect hot off the ranks i'm not sure if this is a confessional or a question but i need your help regardless the other day i was putting away some washing and i accidentally and i mean accidentally i promise stumbled upon what i think is supposed to be my engagement ring oh god oh god my partner and i have been together for two years we've been living together for a year we've spoken about wanting to get married the problem is I hate the ring it's yellow gold and I like white gold it's just completely not my style what do I do I don't want this to be the ring that I have on my hand for the rest of my

life oh man however you talked about getting married and you don't even he doesn't even know if you want yellow gold or white gold I think that I feel like that's the base level and then you start to talk about what you want specifically but I feel like the color and the style of gold is what you talk about but sometimes a lot of couples don't even speak about rings at all matt and i had never spoken about wedding rings before he did it and then he almost got me a white gold ring which i didn't want and he spoke to my sister and my sister was like a hundred percent yellow gold like you are making a huge mistake a grave error and she's a jewelry designer this is gonna go terribly wrong and he almost didn't believe my sister he almost went for white gold but thank

christ he knew better my sister had like a whole powerpoint presentation put together she had like the whole file she sent it to him she sent them to me they were back up she's like make sure he knows that when the day comes this is what I want it's so dependent on the relationship I think there's probably so many people out there who who got surprised like they didn't even know I mean obviously you have the conversations around are we going to get married is the relationship heading in the right direction but not every person knows that they're actually getting proposed to and some you know people are quite sneaky and quite good at doing the preparations behind closed doors this has happened like so I obviously design and make engagement rings

this has happened more often than you would think where we are so far down the design process I've even had a guy buy a ring before we've designed it it's been made and then I get an email from him two months later before he's actually proposed saying crisis yeah my girlfriend has just sent me some photos of rings that she likes and they're not the same color and the rings that we made was nothing like what she wants what can we do oh it's a biggie what can you do make a new ring it's very fucking expensive oh what can you do in all honesty i don't think you can say anything before he proposes he's already got it he obviously he's very excited obviously he's going to do it i think you can say something and this is what i think and i think laura and i differ on

this I think you can say something after the fact so he's proposed you've said yes you're so in love you don't say anything straight away I 100% if you detest that ring I think you can have a conversation after saying look I I would really love I'd always imagine something like this would you mind if we swap something that fit me better or you could there's definitely a way you can word it you are absolutely right you have to have that on your hand and you have to look at it hopefully for the rest of your life. I have a very different take on this. Laura's like, you wear that ugly ring.

Once you get an ugly ring, you wear it until it's been like 10 years and then you can swap it out. No, my, okay, because he hasn't given you the ring yet and you're not supposed to know it exists, you have a little bit of an upper hand here. I actually genuinely think you can slip him a couple of photos and be like, hey, I know we've talked about getting engaged sometime and absolutely no pressure, but one day when the time comes.

Where I haven't seen anything in the laundry drawer. One day when the time comes, maybe a ring like this would be nice. And it will be a very different ring to what he's made. And I honestly think like your partner wants you to love the ring that they've made. They will go into crisis mode and they probably will call the fucking designer and be like, holy shit, what can we do? There are ways around it. If it's the wrong gold, you can melt the gold down.

You can reset it. If it's the wrong stone, you can buy a new stone. There are so many other options. and I think maybe give them the opportunity to right the wrong first and maybe they won't maybe they will just like be like too little too late you're getting this ring tough titty girl this is your ring in which case it also makes it easier for you to have the conversation afterwards and say oh you know what I I did send you those photos I'd really love something like like this if that's okay with you but I think you can kind of get ahead of that conversation by having it now

don't tell them that you know or you've seen it that's like just keep that to the grave yeah that's like the number one rule you never say hey I found this and I hate it like that's a divorce before you get married also it happens so often though and I do think for a lot of people maybe correct me if I'm wrong if this has happened to you for a lot of people you kind of grow to love it even if it's not your style originally there's so much sentiment and like love and energy that your partner has put into creating this ring or buying this ring that for a lot of people they kind of within time go oh it wasn't what I thought I wanted but now I absolutely love it and I know that this is the case for a lot of people who end up with like statement style rings so my girlfriend

has a big sapphire ring and it was a it was like an heirloom piece and it's been something that's been handed down through the generations and I remember before they got married she was like how the fuck am I going to wear this heirloom piece like it's so big it's not my style but I know now she loves it so much because there's just so much sentiment that the ring has so much more meaning to it and i think that that can be the thing that you fall in love with as well it's like i'm wrong it's wrong okay so you are saying to me if matt didn't get the the note and your sister and you hadn't you hadn't told him that you wanted yellow he buys you the white gold silver ring he wanted it's a stone you didn't want are you telling me you would have that on

your finger right now yes i would do a 100 i'm not i am not the type i cannot send things back i have never ever ever taken a gift back to the shops and gotten like a refund or return to for anything so as a jewelry designer with someone that knows passionately what they want and knows what they could have created you would wear something that you 100 do not like for a period of time and then i would melt that shit down and i would change it but only for a period like you i don't think you can straight away when you've been given something be like i hate it let's change it i don't think you do either but i think you can i think i would say it before i i took it on because if there's a chance for you to return it or swap it if it wasn't custom made you would

want that before you say hey let's just wear it devalue it for a while and then we'll swap it out i would just say i would like love this i thought about this or this color or this stone or would you be offended if that's what i would but what if they've custom designed it well that's if it was handmade especially for you and you hate it well like for example sharing jay that got engaged my sister and partner got engaged by three weeks ago now recently but his he engraved it with coordinates in Scotland of where they met he had a thistle engraved in it like she screwed if he got the wrong ring you can't change that because it's very very much for them I would actually love to know if there's anyone from our life uncut community who has received an engagement ring

that they fucking hate or you have had to have this conversation maybe you melted your ring down I want to know how your partner received it and you know what slide into our dms tell us because I'm going to put some of them up on our Instagram. I think lots of people need help with this. This is a big problem. Can you send Jordan what I want so this doesn't happen? Well, that's what you've got to do, right? You've got to make sure that your friends and your family,

whoever's closest to you, has an idea. Well, that's why Sherry sent them all to me because she's like, I don't want to like put the pressure on him or make him feel like there's pressure, but also I don't want to be in that situation. Like a PowerPoint. Get on Canva. Create yourself a little Pinterest board or something. Jordan doesn't really get hints,

so I couldn't really leave a ring out with a circle around it. Like, I'd have to send it to him and be like, this is what I would want if this day ever comes. And also, I just want to put a disclaimer out. I don't know if this day will ever come. Just saying. Just print, I reckon, if you are in a situation where you're dating someone and you're not sure if they're going to pick the right ring,

but you've had the conversations around marriage, just start printing out pictures of rings that you like and just leaving them around the house, accidentally sending him links and then be like, oh, sorry, I meant to send that to my friend, not to you. Ha, ha, ha, lol, but how cute's that ring? That's the way to do it. All right. Question number two.

I don't even know if I've got an answer. You're screwed. My best friend keeps flaking on me. Literally every single time we organize to catch up, she has an excuse on why she needs to cancel to the point that now the day before our plans, I will always message her saying, Hey, are we still on for tomorrow? I'm excited to see you so that I at least have a day notice. If she decides to cancel on me, she has anxiety and I totally understand it because I also suffer from severe anxiety myself, but I also feel like it's a bit of a cop out at the moment and it's really unfair that she is continuously wasting my time last time I approached her about this a few years ago she got super defensive over it

I just don't know how to navigate this because I love her so much but I'm starting to resent her this is really hard it's also really big and I think so many people will experience this with a friend in their lifetime like relationships and friendships can often be slightly more one-sided depending on what's happening in that person's life and I think sometimes the ebbs and flows of one-sidedness in friendship is okay but it can't be continuous it can't be you constantly being like hey let's hang out hey I love you hey be my friend and you get a quarter of the effort back otherwise if that's the continuous normal you almost have to reset what the friendship is I think for me and I found this really hard when I read the question because I was like this is an

awkward situation. I think what I would do is the next time you make plans, you said that you messaged her the day before now to say like, hey, we still on. I would probably make like a little joke or throw something in there because we all know that's how I handle everything is with jokes and humor. I would say something like, hey, we all know you're a chronic canceller. Are we definitely on tomorrow? I would throw it in there so you know, and you're not having to go at them like, hey, we all know what you like with cancelling. Just want to check before I make a plan beforehand or something like that because then it's it's put out there they know it but it's not aggressive and it's not a lie like I've said it to my friends before that I've been very very

close with I was like don't you fucking bail on me I know you're a bailer like I've made it light-hearted I think that's deep I think it's like if you say hey we hanging out tomorrow don't you fucking bail on me I think that that's different than the former like I think that we all know you're a counselor that to me if you wrote that to me Brit like I would find that really passive aggressive and that would get me offside like for me personally that sort of joke when it's not a joke and it's loaded actually really upsets me and I would prefer someone to just call a spade a spade well this is the other thing with text as well and this is something you got to think about you never know how the person says something or how it's intended you can't read

it um as they would say it totally and that's where there's a lot of miscommunication but I don't think that this is worth having a big sit down intervention with your friend like I just think that would be worse I think if you went and said hey look you cancel on me a lot I don't know how I feel about it like for me that's just not something I would do the only other thing you can do is stop making as many plans with her if you if it's really hurting your feelings and she's not making any effort back just be like cool like reach out when you're free you could throw it to her you let me know when you're free we'll plan something I think that that's the best way about it because I wouldn't want a big sit-down intervention over this yeah I agree and I

think that the problem is here if the situation was different if you hadn't had a conversation yet I would have said no tell your friend have an honest conversation say like a really I really love you I'm feeling a little bit left out at the moment and you know I do feel like you cancel on me a lot is there something bigger going on in your life or I would say have that conversation but you've already had it you've already tried that and it didn't work out very well and the defensiveness crept in so you kind of already can assume that it will probably go the same way if anything it'll probably get worse and she'll be more defensive this time especially if she does have other reasons as to why she's cancelling around social anxiety. But I think you're right,

you know, just because somebody else is struggling with anxiety doesn't mean that you can constantly be let down by that person because of your own self-preservation. I really think in these situations, and it's fucking hard, but people show you whether you're a priority or not. And your friend is showing you that you are not a priority. It's kind of like any relationship, a romantic relationship or a friendship. There's only so much that you can keep giving before you're being met halfway the other thing i want to add though is that's that's all fair but it depends on her level of anxiety if she has extreme social anxiety you don't want to just throw it away and make her feel worse but what you could do is say hey why don't you come around to my house

and we order dinner in that takes away any pressure any stress you're not abandoning anyone she's not feeling worse there are definitely ways around it or you could say why don't i bring food to your house tonight i'll bring ice cream we'll watch a movie there's definitely ways around it if her main problem is high levels of social anxiety because we don't want to underplay the anxiety but if you think she's using the anxiety as a bit of an excuse because she just can't be bothered to see you or doesn't care as much then that's a whole nother kettle of fish but only you are going to be able to know what she's really like what she's really suffering from and her behavior we also did an awesome episode for anybody who feels like they're going through

some real friend challenges and i think after romantic relationships our relationships with our friendships can pose the biggest challenges in our life. They're just as tricky to navigate sometimes as what romantic relationships are. And we did an awesome interview with Dr. Hannah quite a while ago on friends and how to break up with friends. It's episode 95. And I highly, highly recommend going back and giving that a listen because I loved every second of that conversation with Dr. Hannah. Yeah. And on top of that, if anyone wants to find out a little bit more about anxiety with your friends or with someone in your life, we did an episode with Osher and Dr. Jodie Lowinger that's episode 110 where we speak a lot about anxieties it's just a

real learning curve I learned a lot listening to that episode so there's definitely ways you can go and help the situation but Britt what would you do just say and like unpacking this from your perspective if your friend kept cancelling on you over and over and over what would you do what would be like and it kept happening and you got to a point where you were like I don't feel like they're putting in any effort and I'm feeling resentful that I'm not a priority to them I'm a little bit different because I'm such an I'm actually such an introvert that for me a cancellation which I think I'll fucking win I know which means a night in on the lounge I'd be like I mean like yes there's an aspect where you're like fuck I like I love my friends and I'd be upset because

I love seeing them but for me it doesn't have the same effect as somebody else that's an extrovert and really needs people so I I find it hard because I'd be a bit of like I'm ordering Uber Eats and I'd just go and hang on my lounge and watch TV but what if it's the same friend who's doing it continuously and you get to a point where you're like oh we're going out tonight you're about to get ready and then they're like sorry I can't like I do think maybe if you were experiencing it with the same repetitive behavior that this girl is experiencing it you might start to feel different you might start to feel like hey you're taking the piss the only time I would say anything in all honesty and again this is because my confrontation style is non-existent

the only time I'd say anything is if it's cancelling to the point of like half an hour to go like I'm talking you've gotten ready you've done your hair you've ordered your uber you got your face makeup on you're going your face makeup because you put on your body you've got your makeup on your face makeup on everything's looking sweet you got your nipple covers on like you are good to go for this night out if they're cancelling to the point where you've made your plans there's no time to remake plans or do anything or fill that time I'd be really pissed then that's when I'm like this isn't cool it's like that feeling of the same thing on a date have you ever been cancelled on a date oh absolutely when you are ready and the fucking funniest thing is

the thing that hurts me the most I've been canceled on probably in the last however long I've had a few dates canceled quite last minute for whatever reason the thing that upsets me the most is I was like are you kidding I just wasted my makeup on my face it wasn't even that I had nothing else to do I was like I look great right now I've spent an hour doing my hair and my makeup and you've canceled and now it's wasted that's not to mention like makeup in itself is expensive like I'm not a waste on a guy who can't even get himself out of bed to come see me but on that I think like it's it's almost like another conversation as well when you have kids right so when you have kids there's a whole other element because you have to try and find someone to take

care of your kids like there's a babysitter that's involved there's so much more scheduling that goes into catching up with friends that I think if I was in that situation and I had a friend who kept cancelling on me and the effort was put in to make time in my life to be able to see them I would be feeling exactly like this person's feeling and be like I am kind of done with this if you're doing everything you're showing up you're being that supportive friend and you're not getting it back it's like any relationship there has to come a point where you go I'm going to take a step back like I'm not going to allow someone to continuously disappoint me and we do talk like in reverse too we do talk about a lot about this about understanding your relationships and Laura

just made a really good point about saying you know if I've gotten a babysitter this is a big event for me to plan a night out it's a big event that's absolutely true you definitely have to take into consideration situations so like if I had something planned with Laura and last minute she's like I can't come because the kids are sick that's different totally that's not saying like my friends always canceling me there's got to be a level of consideration but I think in this I probably would just take a step back and let her come to you and next time just say to her hey next time I'm sorry you had to cancel next time just let me know when you're good to go like when there's going to be no cancellation yeah you know when you're 100% free and we can do this

excited to see you you don't have to make you feel bad because obviously she's going through something and then let her come to you and then get on with your life with some other friends and leave the ball kind of in her court for a little while i think that's it yes i love it when we agree even though we didn't start here we are full circle question number three come for me i'm summarizing this one hit me it was a long one but i think it was interesting my partner and i absolutely love sex when we're at home we have sex all the time with no problem when we go away to an airbnb or a hotel we have sex all the time no problem we recently went to see some friends that we hadn't seen in about two years they live in a two-bedroom apartment the walls are very thin

and the rooms are right next to each other my boyfriend as soon as we got in the room wanted to get frisky i said no i don't think we could do this i don't think i want to do this here he said why not i said because inappropriate they might hear we're at someone else's house with someone else's linen we had a fight about it what are your thoughts on having sex at friends and families' houses when they're all there? Is this okay or is this just like a no-go zone? Later on in her story, she did say that it's also happening at her family's house, which is also a two- and three-bedroom house.

What do you think? Oh, you can fuck in your friend's flannel. It's fine. No! So, like, what if I came to – so you've got a two-bedroom house. What if I came to, say, your house? You can have sex in my bed. It's fine.

Don't have sex in my bed. You can have sex in my guest bed. What if you could hear it? Oh, be quiet. Keep it down. But the walls are that thin. There's not, you can hear the creak. Okay, wait, no, let's stop.

You're like, they're not rolling over. They're not turning over in their sleep. He's a really restless sleeper. Look, I don't, I don't care because I probably, I'm the anomaly. I reckon most people would care. I'm going to say, I think most people would prefer their friends, if their friends came over as a couple, to not shag in their house. But I'm also a bit realistic.

like for example if people like sex yeah like I guess I'm realistic about it like if I had friends visiting from Queensland and they were staying with us for a week and they were on holidays they're on holidays they're gonna want a bone in my house whatever just keep it down don't tell me about it the next day and put the sheets in the washing machine before you leave like just do that for your friends I think it's fine the thing to consider is these days people have really expensive linen you don't want to ruin that that's a consideration how much linen have you ruined from having sex though i mean none recently but that's because he doesn't live here no but i think you don't ruin the linen it's not like just setting it on fire every time you have

no but if if sperm gets on linen it can stain so that's ruined linen does it stay yeah it can what's the sexy whose sperm is this a super spam it's got a really high ph level but before i before jordan left for overseas so over the summer so we'd only been together a few months and we were just like you know like obsessed with each other so we had a lot of sex we went away for a weekend to stay with one of his friends in in their holiday house and you had sex in the holiday house the house was quite big like it was a very very big beautiful beach house his friend he's a good friend I absolutely adore him he was the only other person there so he was just he was like I need to get away and get some space

for the weekend he went there and he's like why don't you guys come up I was like great we went up and we had sex now I was I said so Jordan tried to have sex not tried we did successfully but he started it and then I said I actually said I don't know if we should do this like we're at his house and he's like it's fine he's like he wouldn't care he'd probably want me to good convincing Jordan he'd probably want me to he's like let's it's fine like the house is huge blah blah blah and I was he convinced me I was like you know what you're right it's a weekend away the house is so large i walk out in the morning and there's a coffee there for me from the guy's house that was there and he's like i thought you might need this because you stayed

up quite late last night oh that's awkward but he was taking the piss he was having a dig but i was mortified i turned around to john i was like i told you we shouldn't do it they high-fived each other it was fine but my point is like you have to take into consideration that when you're at someone else's house it may i was lucky but may make them feel uncomfortable i think you can keep it down like how allowed were you having sex in a big house that they heard you well i think he was walking around the lounge room but no but like think of a bondi apartment right now like you not everyone lives in a mansion on the beach like a lot of people are next door to each other with very thin walls i certainly don't and to be honest brit if you came to my house and stayed over for

the night you'd be having sex in marley's room so i'd really prefer you to not it's a single bed It's a single bed in my kid's room. Please don't. Okay, no, look, let's actually unpack this a little bit with a bit more structure. I think if it's a very small apartment and there's a noise thing, like I think if it's because you're worried that your friends or your family are going to hear, that's a different concern.

Like I think that there's a level of respect there that you probably shouldn't bone if they're going to be able to hear you. If it's a big house, they're not going to hear you and it's a consideration about the bed and the sheets. I do kind of think that if you invite a couple to come and stay at your house, that they can bring their sex queen. And the house is big and they're staying for several nights, maybe not if it's just like a stopover,

but they're staying for several nights. They're probably going to bone in your bed and you just have to be okay with it and tell them to wash their sheets. Also, I just want to put this out there to any of my friends who are listening who are like, dear God, we're never going to invite Lauren Matt over. She's definitely boned at your house. We don't have sex because we have two children,

so don't worry about us. Okay, my actual conclusion is I do actually think it is okay to have sex as much as i'm having a laugh about it i think it's okay to have sex if you got at someone else's house or your parents house or whatever else as long as there are no noises that they can hear because that is just awkward for everyone and disrespectful so what i would say is if you started and the bed was just like hectically creaky not stop no you don't stop immediately don't you know the rule you you stop no you change to go sideways to see if the bed rocks the same way the other way and then if it rocks in two angles you go on the floor so

perpendicular and horizontal you stand up and bend over if you go two angles and the bed's still going you might just keep it in your pants or have sex in the shower if it's non-sweet do that easier clean up so i guess the question is yes you can do it the answer is you can do it i have one more question i want to ask would you have sex at your mom and dad's house yeah and my dad listens to this mom and dad they listen to this i like that's normal but i think that the same rules apply would you have sex at jordan's mum and dad's house i can't answer that because i listen okay that's all good but i'm not i'm joking his sister and his mum listen i'm guys i'm joking she's not she's actually i will never

do it if i stay at your house i would not have sex at my mum's house at all but i would have sex at matt's mum's house only because i love ellie um no because uh they have matt's mum has a massive house and like the rooms are very separate and we when we go there we stay for a long time because it's Queensland and it feels like a holiday for us and she takes care of the kids you've just done a flip you've just said you won't have sex your mom's because the house is too small so what is your advice to the listener Laura no no no my advice is exactly that if the house is small and it's a thing that you know the people who live there can hear you absolutely not but if it's a consideration of like you know having sex because you don't want to have sex in the

person's bed because it's like a respect for their sheets most people have mattress protectors and britney it's okay for you to fuck in my sheets but the other thing is too everyone's gonna wash their sheets after they've had guests like they're gonna wash them but no one wants to wash sperm off a sheet i think that if you have sex though you wash those sheets yourself you strip the bed at the end of your stay you roll it into a ball and you say hey i've stripped the sheets maybe you want to burn them i'm gonna pump them in the washing machine i mean in the trash can fine right potato potato because they're covered in sperm guys use your intuition anyway i feel like we've really really unpacked some weird and wonderful topics today we started off

with the photo shoot a funeral and then we talked about having sex standing up and can we um you know that we love a poll can we poll would you have sex at your parents or would you have sex at your friend's house can we poll that yes okay let's poll it let's and i'm gonna say that we're probably wrong i reckon you people are gonna say you can't what do you so you reckon more people are going to say that you can't i reckon more people are going to say that you shouldn't do it but you do but i also think we should put another poll out asking how many people have done it because i think that those things won't match up you've all done it and you all don't want your friends to do it at yours that's exactly what happened oh totally did jordan i was like

no don't okay stop no okay that's exactly it right you're like please don't do it in my house but i'll do it to you guys keep your questions coming in for ask uncut to the instagram life Uncut podcast also keep your confessions coming in and your accidentally unfiltered make sure at the top of whatever you want to write to us you actually put like the topic of what you're writing in because we don't want it to get lost or mixed up we want to be able to see exactly what it is yes and we're very disorganized so we need a little bit of help and structure in our life also if you've been listening and you love the podcast and you haven't left a review yet jump on in come on down to review town give us five stars and tell us what you love about the

podcast and if you don't love it then just fucking dm us and tell us what you don't like about it We'll do some – we'll try and fix it. You know what? We'll listen to your feedback. Come on down to Review Town. If that does not make you want to leave a review, I don't know what will. And before we sign off, don't forget, tomorrow we have Batch Uncut where we'll be unpacking episode three and four of The Bachelor

with good old Batty J, who's always a hoot. It's nice to have him. Maybe you need to give him more sex. Look, it's not been that bad. We get a bit of sex still. For two people – come on. We are two adults, two children, and a dog in a two-bedroom apartment. There's very little time that it's just us in a room alone.

And I'm there a lot as well. And Brittany's also always there. Tell your mum. Tell your mum. Tell your dad. I'm a watchy sicko. And tell your dad. Tell your friends.

You should cut that out. We love love. Thanks for watching!