Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - He "Forgot" About 100 Nudes of His Ex, The Holiday Bailer & Charging Your 14-Year-Old Rent

Episode Date: July 19, 2026

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deepest, darkest and most burning questions! It's Britt and Keeshia today while Laura enjoys the tail end of her time off. She'll be back in the hot seat on Wednesday! But first, Keesh has an Ask Uncut of her own: you're at a party, there's one designated party toilet, and the person before you has left some very unfortunate evidence behind. Do you clean a stranger's skid marks, or walk out and let 40 strangers assume it was you? Vibes of the week:Britt -  Lost in the Jungle on Disney+ Keeshia - The Basic Band  Then it's into your questions! Q1: MY FRIEND BAILED ON OUR BALI TRIP AND EXPECTS THE GROUP TO COVER HER SHAREA group of us girls organised a trip to Bali and we've all paid for flights and accommodation, split evenly. A few nights ago one of the girls messaged me privately saying she now has uni exams and can no longer come, and asked if it would be easier for everyone to just transfer her for her part. I told her I didn't think it was fair to expect the group to pay more to cover her costs, but that I couldn't speak for everyone. So she put it in the group chat... and nobody replied. Now she's acting cold and standoffish with me at work. Surely it's an unspoken rule that if you pull out for your own reasons, the group doesn't have to cover you? Am I the asshole? Q2: CAN A WORK FLIRTATION EVER BE HARMLESS?My husband and I have three kids together, but the romantic relationship is non-existent. I've suggested therapy and he refuses, so we're at a standstill: no intimacy, a lot of resentment, and I'm not sure it's even salvageable. Separating is an option, but I don't want to only see my kids 50% of the time. He's a good dad, just a shitty husband, so I feel really stuck. I've recently gone back to work and a coworker is laying it on thick. He's made it very clear he's interested, and for the first time in years I'm enjoying the attention... and feeling like a horrible person for it. Can you engage in a work flirtation and it be harmless, or is it just a bad idea altogether? Q3: I FOUND 100 PRINTED NUDES OF MY BOYFRIEND'S EXI recently moved in with my boyfriend of eight months. He was away for work the other night and I found a box containing about 100 printed nude photos of his ex-girlfriend... who he has an AVO out against. When I asked him about it, he swore black and blue that he didn't know he still had them. I personally find it hard to believe he magically forgot about a stack of photos that were very easily accessible. Any advice would be appreciated!  Q4: SHOULD WE TELL OUR 14-YEAR-OLD WE'RE SECRETLY INVESTING HIS BOARD MONEY?My 14-year-old has just gotten his first job, and I've told him he'll need to pay 30% board from his take-home pay each fortnight. My wife is on board. Where we disagree: I want him to pay the money and assume it's gone, just like rent in the real world. My wife wants to tell him we're actually investing it all for him, to be handed back at 25 as a deposit for a house or unit. I'm worried that telling him would stop him from developing his own saving and investing habits. We'd love to know your thoughts! TIMESTAMPS 0:00 - Intro: 0:35 - The party toilet skid mark dilemma 5:38 - Vibes & Unsubscribes 11:31 - Q1: She bailed on the Bali trip and wants her money back 18:25 - Q2: Can a work flirtation be harmless? 29:25 - Q3: I found 100 printed nudes of my boyfriend's ex39:00 - Q4: Should we tell our son we're investing his board money? 52:36 - How to send in your Ask Uncut questions Ep mentioned: What It Actually Feels Like to Leave a Marriage When You Have Kids - Uncut with Tara Pavlovic: Apple | Spotify  Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha filling in for Laura. She's just had a couple of days to enjoy the school holidays. Honestly, that woman, does she even work? Does Laura work ever? Because she's just in Bali. Coming from Brittany who just spent the last three and a half months frolicking around Europe and enjoying yourself laura's at the tail end of her time off so she will be back in the hot seat next week before we get into our vibes and unsubscribes i had a situation happen to me a couple of weeks ago and when it happened i was like i simply must know firstly not only what you would do but what like the majority of people do it's kind of like an ask uncut of my own

but i wanted to sneak it in here quickly i'm actually not convinced and i know that's the whole point of this episode is ask uncut and like we tell you what to do i'm not convinced people should come to me for advice, but sometimes it's, sometimes, like when you just said I'd love to. We're not trained. I'd love to. Highly opinionated, but. What is it?

Strong opinions loosely held. WWBD. What would Brit do? Pretty unhinged usually, but hit me. So a couple of weeks ago, I'm going to not give as many details as what I normally would because I know that the person who was around this experience listens to the podcast and I don't want, I don't want to have to talk about it with her. Oh, this is juicy.

So there was a party. there were about 40 people it was a daytime party there was a toilet that's kind of like the designated that's the toilet that you're to use it was like a house and there were multiple bathrooms but this is the party toilet it's the frequently used one right it's like shit in this toilet we in this toilet funny you say that oh so i needed to go to the bathroom and i went to the bathroom and there wasn't someone immediately coming out after me but like the frequency of people going in and out of the toilet was quite high so I wasn't sure if there was going to be someone like waiting on the outside of the door I didn't see who would come out but someone might

see me come out it's also just the worst I know this probably has nothing to do with your story when you know people are waiting outside the toilet and you're in there not doing away it's the worst like you have to it's like a walk of it's like the shit walk of shame I don't think that my body would be able to do that my body can't stop me from doing that i can kind of only like comfortably go in a secure environment i've got too much social anxiety for it which leads into this question dude that must be nice to be able to say i only go like when i'm comfortable it's a choice no my ibs is like you have two minutes due to we self-destruct plugged and i get constipated no mine mine is like i don't care that you're

walking down the main street of Mykonos we're going so okay busy toilet in out in out I get to the bathroom I open up the toilet seat there are skid marks on the toilet and they're pretty thick so I know that it's the person who's just been before me no it could have been a builder what like it could have been a couple of people before and just no one's cleaned it like you can't build up I thought you said a builder I was like there weren't builders at the house no like I don't think you should just lay blame completely on the person before you well I'm going to for this high with any question that I'm going to ask you it was the person before me and I'm pretty sure it would have been it was very anyway I was then stuck in the position where I

knew it was likely that someone was going to be on the outside of the door and I had to make the decision about whether I just went and did my quick wee and got out and there were still skid marks on the toilet that they would assume were mine or whether I was going to get the toilet brush and clean a stranger's poo off of the bowl. No, this is a common problem I think a lot of people face. I also faced it recently. Do you know what my tactic is? I'm usually the person leaving that. That doesn't surprise me. No, I'm joking. This is what I do in that situation. I am not cleaning someone else's skitties I'm not doing it I'm just not doing it but the anxiety of someone thinking that it's you is pretty high so I'm the person that walks out and you're like sorry it's

pretty gross and it wasn't me I just say that and walk away because they'll never know and if they want to think it's me that's okay but for me I'll sleep easier knowing that I set the scene it was like like I was equally as revolted by what was in there well I realized that my social anxiety was higher than what my need for cleanliness is because I picked up the toilet brush and I scrubbed someone else's. You can't. I had to. I didn't know a lot of the people at this party. It would be the first impression of me. I was crippled. Skitty Keisha. That would be the only way that they would remember me. And as it was happening, I was like, oh, sometimes I detest myself. having said that i do think like there's a rule right if you are at a place especially a place

like that maybe if you're not if it's a club or something whatever if you are at somebody's house and it's an intimate party with 40 people and you have obliterated that toilet like it's your job to clean it you don't get to just walk out and leave that in someone else's house i agree who do you think it was do you know who it was no i don't know who it was i've got my suspicions like that's my impression of them that's what I was trying to avoid other people thinking about me so you've just proved to me that I did do the right thing in the moment because otherwise other people would be thinking that girl that girl that I met there she's the shitter she's the one who leaves it in the toilet it's definitely something I think a lot of people face I'm not

cleaning someone's shit I'm not I'm not cleaning their shit all right let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes you've told me that you have a really good vibe this week yeah I have a vibe this week it's on Disney plus. So it's a documentary. You probably have heard about it. It's a story. They have done docos on in the past on different streamers. I had listened to a podcast on it years ago. I actually think I'd watched an old documentary on it years ago as well, but I really love this one. So it's on Disney plus and it is called The Lost Children. Sorry guys, just a little edit note. We didn't realize this until after we'd already left the studio and finished recording. It's actually called Lost in the Jungle, but it is on Disney plus.

and it is the most astounding, unbelievable, inspirational, unfathomable story I think I have ever heard. They shouldn't have survived. So there's an indigenous community in Colombia and this family of a mother and four children. And I think there were like two other people on the plane, like a pilot. It was like a small plane. They were flying out of Colombia and going to a different destination and they had to fly over the jungle. And as they went up into the air, the plane crashed like literally just fell from the sky and the wreckage like they have footage of it the wreckage is you look at it and you're like how did anyone survive somehow all four children survived wow and the children were ranging the oldest girl i think was like maybe

11 ish like quite young 12 maybe and the other kids were from a newborn like a baby like she had to carry it to five and seven. Like they were all really little. And the story is about their survival alone as four kids in the Amazon jungle for 40 days. Oh my God. Yep. 40 days with nothing. The oldest girl who took charge. I have goosebumps thinking about it. Just like the most incredible person I have ever heard from, like what they did and what she did to keep her and her siblings alive in one of the most dangerous places in the world is amazing and it's a story about their journey in the Amazon and how they stayed alive and also the search and rescue parties and it got me thinking as well the fact that they were found after 40 days they were not

well like they would have passed away within a day like they were at their crucial time yeah and it just got me thinking how many search and rescues have you heard of that give up by that point like 40 days is a long time the amazon is like a needle in a haystack the assumption that they would even find them alive after like it's just in the most incredible story with like an infant you know and having just an 11 year old taking care of that child and the other siblings what an amazing person it's incredible and she talks about she's you know she talks about how she had also she had an injured ankle like she couldn't walk she was dragging herself along the floor of the jungle she was building shelters for them and trying to find them food and like i just cannot

imagine it it's the most it's like the jungle and and they talk a lot about their indigenous culture over there and when the search and rescue were trying to find them which is why it's also so interesting they had some military that were looking for them then they had elders and locals that were looking for them because they searched very differently and you see a lot of the differences in it and how the Indigenous sort of lean on old stories and theories that if you threaten, for example, one part is like the Indigenous threaten a turtle and they're like, if you don't guide us,

we will kill you to the turtle because they believe that the turtles are going to guide them. It's things like that. It was really, really incredible. I cannot recommend it enough. So it's called The Lost Children and it is on Disney+. I messaged it to Keisha when I finished it. I said, you need to watch this.

Yeah, and I said, I'm too deep in homeless. which could have been my vibe if it didn't like end about seven years ago but i think i vibed it anyway did you i think so like it's it's a really good show i'm only up to season seven it's pretty much what i spent our entire break doing uh there is eight seasons the one thing that is kind of interesting about homeland is that it references a lot of i guess the u.s military impact and the CIA in places like Afghanistan, in Iran, and it's sad and also eye-opening that 2026 is still a conversation that could have been taking place yesterday. But that is actually not my vibe for this week. My vibe this week, now after you speaking about the lost children, is going to

seem insanely frivolous, but it's a product that I think is really, really fantastic. It's been on shark tank I got served an Instagram ad and it worked so it is called the basic band I've got it on now I'm gonna try and move forward and show you if you're watching on YouTube this will make a lot more sense it's basically like an elastic band that it's got like four bra prong things and you put it underneath like kind of under where your bra line would go yeah so you can get really good tucks of your clothes so you know how like the millennial tuck you'll do like a French tuck which is like tuck at the front, putty at the back. I hate to break it to you.

Apparently the tuck's out. I know, I know. The millennials have spoken. Apparently the Gen Zs are tucking on the side. But you know what? You can tuck on the side with the basic. The basic's not so basic. Tuck at the front, tuck at the side.

It's not so basic now. Anyway, I bought it a couple of weeks ago. I got it on the end of financial year sales and it's freaking fantastic. It makes your things tuck in such a more chic way. I was tucking under the bra. Yeah, well, that's what I was going to say. What's the difference with tucking under a bra? It falls out for me.

it doesn't fall out for this and it's more comfortable although it's not particularly easy to show you when i'm sitting on a lounge chair but yeah it's really fantastic it's australian founded it's called the basic band and like i said they've been on shark tanks so if you are someone who likes to you know how you just want a bit of a cropped look also i don't care that the tux out i love no neither i will probably tuck until the day i die same is how i feel about high-waisted jeans and if i want to wear ankle socks i'm doing those as well the only thing i'm not doing his low rise jeans. Or cleaning up people's toilets. Or cleaning up other people's skitties. Let's get into the questions. Question one.

A group of girls have organized a trip to Bali. We've paid for flights and accommodation. Now a few nights ago, one of the girls messaged me privately saying how she now has uni exams and can no longer come. She then asked how it would be best to work out the funds and if it was easier for everyone just to transfer her for her part. so it sounds like they've booked like a villa or something yeah it sounds like a trip where it's like split down them like everyone's even that's what they've agreed upon they've gone and now she is saying hey psych i can no longer go i replied saying that the whole group was financially

committed and i didn't think it was a fair expectation that the group paid more to cover her costs since she was the one that can no longer come i also said i didn't want to speak on behalf of the group to be honest i don't know why it was only me who she messaged in the first place she then messaged the group chat about transferring her money no one replied i know i know do you feel the awkwardness i feel the awkwardness now at work she's been acting really cold and standoffish surely it is an unspoken rule that if you pull out for reasons of your own accord it's not an expectation that the rest of the group then has to pay and cover your half am i the arsehole or is she right to think that we need to throw in to cover it no you are absolutely you're so in the

right in this situation and there would be levels that I would feel more sympathy for the person if they were in fine you know maybe if it was something like oh a relative's passed away or like uni exams you know when that's happening they happen at the end of the semesters that's kind of how uni exams work so it's it's strange to me that she's kind of acting as though oh this has just kind of come out of nowhere yeah and I had no idea that this was happening she also said context she is financially stable love ya oh well then I feel even more so solid in this opinion it's kind of like RSVPing to a wedding and then pulling out and expecting there to not be like contention about that you know you can't just expect that other people are going to pick up

the bill for your cancellation also when you I agree when you've gone in with a group like this and you've set the expectation like everyone has made their conscious decision of if they can go on this trip or not by how much it costs and you if you guys are at uni I'm assuming you're all around that age unless you're at uni a little bit older but let's say like a lot of uni people don't have full-time jobs but you've obviously got everyone obviously has some kind of job you're going on a holiday but my point is if you have said yes and all committed under one set of circumstances and financial circumstances then it's not fair on the rest of the group to then have to fork out because you can no longer go I would as well I'd have a lot more sympathy if it

was something tragic for sure Keish and even then your friends it's still not their responsibility but I understand that they would probably be a lot more forgiving and maybe like sweeten the deal a little bit by covering some of it by adding you know maybe an extra $50 each or something yeah but a whole holiday yeah would be expensive that's not like hey can you guys throw in another 50 bucks for dinner I can't come anymore I also think it's weird that she's expecting them to like has she is this just for the accommodation or is she also expecting for her flights to be refunded because that's just not how the world works well i'm wondering if it's like think of like a jet star package just like flights in a calm like i wonder if they bought not sponsored i wonder if

it is a package but it's irrelevant like even if it i mean that makes it worse it's like get my flight as well another thing that is kind of odd is that she's obviously tested the waters by messaging you she hasn't gotten the response that she wanted from you so she's acting cold with you at work which is super awkward but then she's put it in the group and the group they have the same opinion as you and as britain i like i kind of feel as though we're coming down a little hard on this person but i just think that they're a little bit out of touch with how like group dynamics with what you are agreeing to and stuff works if they had tried to find a different solution where they were like hey i didn't realize that i had this exam that i thought

I wasn't going to have to worry about this semester I can't come anymore but I've looked into it and I can do a change of name fee for the flights and I have this friend who wants to go even then you don't girls don't want a random on their friend trip you don't just want to blow in to come and like maybe it's not a random though maybe it's someone that they're just not as close with or who thought they couldn't go until later you know what I mean like maybe if they had offered that and you had rejected that person coming then I would say well they did find a solution so you might have to compensate them a little bit for you know if you brought this up before you had paid this is the thing right like you guys haven't paid yet but you're planning and you work

out how much it's going to cost and then you say fuck I've got uni exams I can't go anymore there's a high chance that that group would then maybe look for alternative accommodation that might be a little bit cheaper and come out the same once you've split it but it's yeah you're not the asshole hands down it is a hundred percent crazy to expect everyone else to throw in a couple more thousand or however much it is to cover you like it's for me it's wild that I mean she's making you feel that way obviously even if it's not intentional like she's asked the question then she's cold with you at work and it's really unfortunate I think that it doesn't it shouldn't be friendship ending the expectation on her is wild and it's not normal that's what I would say

and there might be people that are listening that think differently but I don't want you to like ruin a friendship over it maybe you just need to explain to her that that's not how it works like But didn't the friend do that? Didn't she respond and say? No one responded. I thought she responded to the individual message that she was sent. Yeah. She said, I don't think it's a fair expectation, but I can't speak for everyone.

And then it sounds like. And then no one spoke for everyone because no one responded in the group chat. I can't speak for everyone, so no one will speak for anyone. Yeah. The silence says everything. 100%. I think this is a situation where your friend needs to learn to read the room a little bit better. like it sounds like maybe they don't quite they don't quite get this sometimes silence says

everything you need my mum taught me that you cannot misinterpret silence very powerful that was deep yeah i'm trying to think if you can i think you can misinterpret it but i get what she's trying to say because like you could maybe think that yeah yeah actually sometimes i forget to reply so yes you could misinterpret that amount of silence i love that you've been on there are a few people in life this segue if you put people in life they're on do not disturb where it's like do you want to notify anyway and I'm like yes to you I'm always like push this they're like do you want to notify I'm like yeah if I can do push push through the notifications there's like four people I do it to you Laura Ben yeah but yeah you don't get any privacy okay next question okay

next question can work flirtation be harmless I have a moral dilemma which I'm struggling with for context my husband and I have three kids together the romantic relationship is non-existent I've suggested therapy but he refuses we're at a standstill where there's no intimacy there's a lot of resentment and I'm unsure if it's even salvageable at this point. Separating is an option but I don't want to share custody of our kids and not get to see them 50% of the time. He is a good dad, he's just a shitty husband and I'd never want to deny him access so I feel really stuck. I've recently gone back to work and I have a co-worker who is laying it on thick. He's made it very clear that he's interested in me. On one hand, I'm really enjoying the attention

for the first time in years he is attractive friendly and interested in what i have to say on the other hand i feel like a horrible person for enjoying it so my question is can you engage in a work flirtation and it be harmless or is it just a bad idea altogether my age old question i think this is really common i don't know how you feel quiche and i feel for you because what she said is actually really powerful people get themselves into a really tricky spot when they're in a long-term relationship and they've got kids and they're married where they don't dislike their partner they like their partner but maybe what was once there is gone but they have kids if they didn't have kids there's a high chance they probably would have split up but a lot of people

feel like they need to stay in the relationship because quote as she said I don't want to not be with my kids 50% of the time so they weigh up what their two options are and one is like well he's not the worst like I would rather that than lose my kids so I think if there were no kids in this it sounds like she'd probably wouldn't be with him I don't think there's anything wrong with a little bit of harmless flirtation occasionally very rarely off the cuff not premeditated in the moment to give you that lift for the day and get on with your life it just sounds like this is a little bit more and I worry if it's going to get into dangerous territory if you said he's laying on thick and it's happening a lot if you feel that much of a

lack of intimacy and connection with your husband and then someone you're spending eight hours a day with I'm assuming if you just haven't if you're with each other at work there's this flirtation that starts harmless I have no doubt that it would start harmless but I think it's a slippery slope I think there's a snowball effect and like once you start to feel good because you will which you deserve to it's just a shame that that's not coming from your husband I just think you'll find yourself maybe somewhere you don't want to be I completely agree and I think that very rarely like emotional affairs would start with a big thing they would start with little tiny moments of flirtation it would be enjoyed and I also don't think you're a bad person for enjoying that

because when you're starved of something and you get it kind of dangled in front of you of course it feels exciting. Of course, it feels nice to be noticed and to be thought of in a way that you're like, oh, I'm appealing. I'm attractive. That's completely normal. And you're not a bad person feeling that way. I think anyone would. It's desire. Everyone wants to feel desire and everyone deserves to feel desire. Yeah. But the thing that I think is interesting is that you've asked the question, is flirting harmless? But I actually don't know if that's the question. I think the question is, are you using this flirtation to avoid dealing with your marriage and where your marriage is at at the moment because it kind of sounds as though you're in

a really really hard place you've said that you don't want to have you know a messy separation you don't you know he's not a bad person he's just not a great husband and I think that the one thing that could turn a separation from being relatively amicable to messy and complicated is the question mark of have you been having an affair or not and so I think that that's maybe where you're getting into murky territory where it's like yeah a little bit of flirtation might be okay but is it just that or is it going to snowball and could it lead to really dire consequences for you down the track I think also flirting is so subjective and cheating is subjective and emotional cheating is subjective and if you are saying now like we're flirting a

lot if you feel like you know that oh is that crossing a line I wonder if your husband's going to think the same. So what are his boundaries? Does he consider something like that, even though you're not doing anything, does he consider that to be emotionally cheating? A few things I would probably recommend. One, probably keep your distance from your colleague. It's so hard though when you're like, that's the only thing that's giving me a bit of a boost and like a bit of a buzz. It's so easy to get allured in by that. I think there is harmless flirting. Like I think that exists for sure I think people go out and say a flirty comment people all the time and get on with their day and it's great you've made someone else feel good you feel good but do you

know what I mean like I don't think flirting some people are flirty by nature but would never cross a line or cheat because for them whatever I think flirting can be harmless but when you pair that with problems at home and when you pair that with not feeling wanted and not wanting to be in that relationship anymore I think when you put all of those things together it's a really yucky recipe that might not end well. I don't think you need to stay away from him as in don't have contact with him, but people feed off energies as well. So if you start to give that energy back, he's going to feel encouraged. He's going to give you more and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Next minute you're having sex. I think you can speak to your husband. I'm sure you've done that. Like it's

pretty basic advice, but I think you need to tell him how you're feeling and where it's lacking. see what he says if not this might sound like a huge leap but if you know that you want to stay in the relationship for the kids but there is nothing with you and your husband hear me out you could float maybe opening the relationship or like because having like a co-parenting dynamic where you're free to do other things outside of it which like you know it's crazy because we've been doing this podcast seven years and when we started that would probably be advice we would never have given it's something that wasn't openly discussed that much but it's what we are realizing now is there is no normal and there are plenty of people that are in long

term relationships with their best friend and that's all it is like it's changed to their best friend and some people are okay with that and some people aren't but you could have a conversation where you set some boundaries and maybe you're opening the relationship a couple of times a year or, you know, he might shut that down immediately and say, fat chance. But at the end of the day, you need to decide what's right for you and you deserve to be happy. Like I feel really sorry for people that say, oh,

I stayed in an unhappy marriage for 20 years for the kids. Like it's your life as well and I do think there is a way that you can all be happy and it might not be the life that you envisioned for yourself and I know that this is getting really deep but I just think of this one person I know that stayed in a really unhappy marriage for literally 20 years because of their kids. And I just feel like they lost so much.

And sometimes, Keish, maybe you can talk to this, sometimes it's better for the kids in certain relationships when you're not together anymore. Yeah, that was definitely my experience. Like I spoke about this actually quite recently. Laura and I sat down with Tara Pavlovic and spoke about her going through a separation and I said that like I was older though, I was a teenager, and I remember a lot of people coming to me

being like oh you're going through such a hard time with the divorce and you know separation sorry yada yada and I just remember thinking like what like living with people who hate each other is really tense that's a really awful experience yeah this feels like relief this feels like a much easier experience and as I said I wasn't older like I was a young teenager so I had the emotional maturity to be able to handle it and maybe younger kids wouldn't feel that way but the only thing that I think you might need to work out within yourself because I don't have the answers for it and I don't think I think also this would be very subjective I think it would differ per person if you were to continue the flirtation and you feel really good from that and it risks you

separating and therefore only having 50 custody of your kids what of those two options do you think is going to make you feel more happiness or more contentness like would you prefer to live a life where you get to freely flirt and have that kind of desire and that experience? Or would you prefer a life where you have a hundred percent of your kids? And people will weigh that up in different ways. You know, there will be a lot of women, especially who would say, actually, I would rather forego the possibility of feeling romance and flirtation for another couple of years because I would much prefer, and I will get more happiness and contentness out of having this experience with my children you know the other thing though I don't know personally everyone's

different I don't know many people who have split and the child care split has been 50 50 almost every woman I know has them probably 80 of the time because that's what's best for the child in terms of stability when they're at school and not disrupting their their school week and things like that like most people I know split it like weekends and things like that and holidays is 50 50 usually but I'm just trying to think of people I know like there's a high chance that maybe you have them a bit more than 50 50 but I don't know it's like that's probably splitting hairs here in terms of what's important I just think slippery slope you're feeling good he's hot you're vibing it he's laying it on which means he's interested the second you give the go-ahead he's going to

continue that and that's I always think put yourself flip it imagine if you found out if your husband was doing that how would you feel I also think it's interesting in these situations where your co-worker likely knows that you're married with children and they've you know as you said made it very clear that they're interested in you how long can that little amount of flirtation last before they're wanting more do you know what I mean like if you are drawing the boundary of we only flirt a little bit and that's what's acceptable I just think that people in those experiences will probably get bored of that and so that's how the boundary shifts kind of slowly and gradually and I can't imagine it you know I just can't imagine a situation where that person

you know your co-worker is like oh actually this is all I need from them too I I imagine a situation where they're going to want more and more out of you so I know you said that your husband is refusing to go to therapy I'm not sure what your situation might be but if I think if you're able to go alone and maybe speak to the therapist about like how you're feeling and what might bring you like the most amount of satisfaction out of your life I think that that could probably I know again that's advice that I'm like maybe go and see a therapist but yeah it could be a type of situation where you just get a little bit more clarity from someone who's very impartial yeah I wonder what the job is life uncut okay this one I feel like is pretty clear-cut I don't want to say clear-cut

as in like why did you write this into us because you're obviously wanting advice but I think most people listening to this are going to be like, oh yeah, he's a fuck boy. Okay. I found a hundred nudes of my boyfriend's ex. Never a good time. Never. I have recently moved in with my boyfriend of eight months. He was away for work the other night and I found a box. Now she doesn't say where the box was. So I don't know if it was like somewhere obvious or deep buried under a, I don't I don't know, a floorboard. I don't know how hidden it was. I opened that box and I found about 100 printed nude photos

of his ex-girlfriend. A hundred of them printed. I have questions about the logistics. Who prints that many photos these days? Yeah, remember when I was old school and you used to have to take your digicamera in? And when you think about it now, you used to go back knowing that someone had developed those and looked at every photo.

Anyway. Now it's just the person at Kmart, the poor thing. people aren't I mean I'm going to finish the question sorry I'm getting sidetracked I'll finish the question that I'll tell you what I think okay so it contained about 100 printed nude photos of his ex-girlfriend who he has an AVO out against now the photos ranged from boobs butt to like full body like there was it sounds like they were all levels PG to R I asked him about it and he swears black and blue that he did not know he still had them he did not know he still had a box of a hundred nude photos.

Now, I personally find it hard to believe that he magically just forgot about this stack of photos that were very easily accessible. Any advice would be appreciated. He's not forgetting. He has a hundred nudes. Sorry. It's possible. No.

It's possible. How many photos of nudes? Okay, do you know what happened to me last week? I went up to my mum's house in Newcastle and she gave me these boxes of my stuff that I had stored like in her, what's the room underneath your house? basement kind of thing right i've lost my mind and she gave me these boxes of things and there were items in there there weren't any nude photos i mean it was at my mom's house for god's sake

but there were items in there that i had been gifted from this one particular ex-boyfriend who is a really good person and who i have nothing against there's kisha's quote my ex is a really good person so i do have some good exes no you haven't said friends but my point being is that I am the type of person who it would be possible that I would forget that something like that existed. No. But, but, there are caveats. Was there other stuff in this box?

Has this box got other things in it that are covering them that you've just picked it up from one house and put it into the next and you just forgot that they were in there? You are cooked. But it's like, you are deluded. This is why people cheated on you. This is why they cheated on you like shit because I was like, but maybe. I just think you're giving him the benefit of the doubt because I understand, like, I go to my parents' house and I have boxes from my teenage years as well.

That is not a hundred nudes of your ex under your bed. Like, they've only been together eight months. It's not like, oh my, that's my long lost ex from nine months ago. I forgot I had those. I see your point. I think that, I think the more important thing here, if you don't believe him, firstly, that's going to be a hard. Is it matte or gloss? what angles because I need some inspiration um how can you actually take a hundred nude photos

and make them all look different so I think the most important thing here is what happens next does he get rid of them like does he discard of them in a way I think you would have to maybe set fire to them otherwise you're just putting photos of your ex in the bin and who knows what could happen to that if he has any type of defensiveness about getting rid of them if he doesn't get rid of them immediately, then it's pretty clear that not only did he definitely know about it, he's now lying about it and it's weird that he's kept them and also potentially illegal. I don't really know.

It is, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. Do you know what alarms in my head? I don't know one woman that prints off nude photos and gives them as hard copies to their partners or anyone, but people send nude selfies. my red flag here is has she just been sending photos to him like on the phone and he has gone and printed them out because that's cooked like i think fat chance that she's printing off 100

nude photos of herself to give to him i reckon he's just printed them i reckon she's coming from the girl who has taken polaroids of herself to give to her now husband no you took polaroids of me to give to my husband you took nude polaroids of me and that is our friendship And that was a secret, Keisha. I trusted you. Do you know what I mean? Like there was one point that I kind of glossed over and I had slightly forgotten about is the fact he has an AVO out against her.

And my Polaroid, sorry, my Polaroid, my Polaroid, not because I was like, hey, Keisha, I want to give Ben some wank bank, take some pictures of me. There were funny, silly ones to give to him on our wedding. So it's not like a regular occurrence that I take Polaroids naked. I get Keisha to come over and fucking set me. But I would. You know what? If you wanted that, I would.

I don't have a problem with it. You're a beautiful human being. Ben should enjoy that. Boy, they're hilarious photos. I definitely don't have 100 photos of you printed underneath my bed that I'm pretending I forgot about. And he's also not wanking over those. Maybe like a darker part of this is I think maybe you need to,

firstly, find out what happens next if he gets rid of them. And maybe you need to have a little bit more of an in-depth discussion around this ABO that he apparently has out against his ex-partner. Because if you have an ABO out against someone. You're not keeping their photos. Absolutely, like it's really inappropriate and kind of weird and potentially like a power blackmail opportunity that he has kept though.

So I would just be asking for a little bit more details about that. But yeah, maybe I am stupid and maybe he's completely lying through his teeth. It seems that that's what maybe most people would think. Well, she did also say this, I find it hard to believe he magically forgot about the stack of photos that were easily accessible. It makes me feel like they were under the bed or something.

Like it makes me feel like she didn't have to dive that deep. to find them if he is yeah but we're all interesting narrators of our own story right what do you mean it's not like we're gonna write it's not like someone's gonna write it and be like so my partner went away for two days so i went deep into all of his things just to suss out what might be in there because we do get that we get loads of people that are like blah blah blah i know i'm in the wrong don't come for me yes i did go through his phone like we get a lot of people that do that i believe her i believe her and rubbish there is no man that forgets he has a hundred printed nude photos it is a large amount yeah like that you don't forget that

you just don't and unless he is so a he's lying to you b his response now is everything like akisha said if he is not and he does have to burn them because you can't or shred them in a shredder like you can't throw those out that is not fair and yes probably illegal but you need to burn those asap and you need to watch him burn them it's not acceptable and i think he's telling you porcupines for getting found out does that mean you have to leave him no we don't know the ins and outs like we're definitely assuming a lot but what we won't assume and what you don't assume is his reaction like you know that reaction is real and true and happening in the moment we don't for sure know why they're there how long they're there for how they got there blah blah blah blah so if

he's not burning them and very apologetic i'd be worried and i'd probably be out of there like that for me, that's gross. If I found a hundred nudes of Ben's ex under Ben's bed and he was like, oh my God, I forgot they were there, whatever. And then didn't want to get rid of them. It's a fucking red flag. It's a big red flag. Yeah. And I think that to add to that, if it does get a little bit darker and he ends up admitting to you that he didn't forget about them, but he was keeping them as a potential source of blackmail for this person that he's got the, you know, those are huge screaming alarms and you need to get out of there to keep yourself safe. However, I do want to give him that I'm a forgetful person. There is a

possibility that he did forget. So if, if he comes home and he says, I'm so sorry, it completely vanished from my brain that they existed. Let me get rid of them now. You can be with me or not. If you want to, like, if it's weird for you to look at that, I get it. I'm going to get rid of them right now. And I'm sorry that you saw that. I'm sorry that I forgot that I had them. Then that to me is a play on that's like it yep cool all right we've moved on from this and it's not a worry one small thing he didn't forget he's a guy didn't forget you and your devil's advocate yeah you're like he's probably genuinely a nice guy there's just a possibility he forgot that they were there and that's why you cannot be that naive all right last question talking of naivety

here we go imagine if you sorry no I'm just thinking imagine if you came home and Toblerone you found a hundred nudes under his bed and he was like I wouldn't be thrilled no but imagine if he was like oh babe I just forgot they were there you would be like fuck off don't get me wrong I'm not invalidating you I would be very thrown off by this discovery no one is forgetting a hundred nudes they're just not not I mean how long ago were they put there who knows who knows who knows it's possible okay I'm taking Keisha off the relationship advice segment okay last question okay the last question that we're going to tackle this is an interesting one because I don't think we have actually had a question of this nature and I feel like everyone is going to

have a slightly different opinion on this it's titled money for kids my 14 year old has just gotten a job. I have told him that we will need him to pay 30% board from his take-home pay each fortnight. My wife is on board with this. The part where we disagree is that I want him to understand it is money you pay for, rent slash mortgage. Historically, though not maybe in today's world, 30% of take-home pay is what was considered reasonable to put aside for these basic things. as for what happens with the money he pays for board is not something i wish to tell him i want him to pay the money and assume that it's gone my wife would like to tell him that we are in fact investing that money for him and he will get it when he turns 25 when he is most likely past the

age of partying drinking and gambling as fun hobbies for him to consider a down payment for a house or a unit i am worried that telling him would prevent him from developing his own saving or investing habits because I have done it for him. I'd love to know your thoughts. I think this is brilliant, like what the person that's written in is. I think that this is the perfect recipe for success for your child. I am going to agree with you. And I say this from two points of view.

Interesting. I don't. Oh, okay. Well, I'm always right. No, I think of it from two points of view. I think of it of what I would want to do for my child and I think of it what I would have liked to have done if I was a child and when I hit 25 what I would have preferred I think you're setting him up for success I think you're teaching him from a very early age

that nothing is for free and you are going to have bills and when you earn money you have things you have to pay and you have to be responsible with your finances I paid board slash rent to my parents from when I had a job even when I lived there and it was a small amount but it was to start to teach financial responsibility. The trouble, I agree with you, I worry if you know you're coming into some kind of significant sum of money, I do think it's going to impact what you have to do and how hard you work or how hard you save because you've got a backup and you know it's there. Imagine how much of a surprise it is if you don't know you have that and you're growing up and you're like, fuck life's expensive, man. I need to be smart with my

money. I need to make sure I'm making the right decisions. But then you hit 25, you've set yourself up in a good way and then you get given extra bonus money. I just think that that is setting them up so much more than if they know what's coming. I say that from someone I had no money coming. I didn't get money whenever, like I just learned financial responsibility. But I imagine if I had have known that I had a big sum coming, cause I've worked my butt off. Like I got a job at 14 like most people and I worked two or three jobs my entire life and I saved so well and I bought my first house at 21 it was a small house it was cheap but like I was doing that because I knew that I needed to set myself up for the future because I also knew no knight in shining armor was

coming to me with a lump sum of money you know like I knew nothing was coming unless I got it if I had have known a huge chunk of money was coming at 25 would I have made the same decisions or would I have been a bit lazier and a bit more lax? Because I'm like, hey, I know that's going to be there. I think I would. My response to this is firstly, I think 30% is pretty high for someone who's 14, but you set the rules for your own house and that's for you and your wife to agree upon

and also with your 14-year-old. But if you think also about what, you pay for a mortgage or something. Yeah, but they're 14. No, but they're trying to teach a percentage of. Yeah, I understand where you've kind of come up with the figure from, I kind of wonder whether this could actually almost work in reverse if you don't tell the 14-year-old what the money is doing. Because let's give the example of if you are to tell them, hey, just so you know, I know

that you think it's steep that we're taking 30% from you, but we're actually going to put that into this particular high interest account. We're all going to have visibility over it, but you just can't withdraw from it. You're actually still teaching them the value of saving and compounding interest and things like that money values that you want that 14 year old to take for the rest of their life I kind of worry that if they just think that that money's gone a 30 percent is like it's a third right then they're kind of going to be like well I don't have that much extra play money to then put into saving and put into investing and so maybe they then go and blow all of that money

and they never learn the values of what compounding interest can do and what saving can do because they've kind of been kept in the dark you know but that's also I think like that's real life so you don't they're paying rent right he's just gonna get something back from it when you grow up you don't get to pay your rent or your mortgage and the government's like I'll surprise you in 10 years that's not real life unless you get a really good accountant real life is your money goes out the window to pay for your accommodation and you never get that back so I just think by teaching him like hey you're paying rent but you will get it back tenfold that's not real and I understand what you're saying I do like I understand that you are teaching them different

things but you can still teach them compounding interest and you can still teach them how to invest without them knowing that there's a big buffer coming maybe I think I am thinking about a few people that I know as well that got big inheritances that knew it was coming they've definitely made decisions that I wouldn't make and they made decisions that I wouldn't make because I wasn't able to make them because I didn't have that backup and if he wants to still live the like he doesn't make him skin it's like he's just paying what everyone pays it's like people pay a chunk of their rent I don't know there's two sides right a lot of people think it's not nice to make your kids pay for things that young because kids should be kids and I fully see that

like you've got the rest of your life to be a slave to the government and a slave to a job and maybe there's a happy medium, maybe like 30% is too much. Maybe what you're doing is right, but it could be 20% or 15%. Maybe you could lower that. But I also think they've made it so big because they're trying to have compounding interest to give him more when he's older. At the end of the day, the question is to tell him or not. I personally am on your side, the person that's written in. I probably wouldn't. I've had this conversation many times with my sister, for example, like what would we do with our kids? What she's going to do with her kids? do you tell them or not we both said that we wouldn't because exactly that I think it would

change the way that they live their life knowing that there is that sum of money coming but I'd love to know what everyone thinks I fully I completely can see and I actually agree with every point you're making and then I guess the other argument that I'm kind of putting forward more is that by disclosing what you're doing with the money you're teaching them delayed gratification like you're teaching them patience and I do wonder if the a 14 year old you know like when I started working at 12 and a half in a hair salon my starting wage was five dollars and five cents an hour like it was it's so insane to me that that doesn't feel like it was that long ago but it was you know and I used to work for five hours on a Thursday night and I used to work

for 10 hours on a Saturday and I would get that money and I was a good saver and maybe if there was something like a big ticket item that I wanted to get I would know that I would have to work for X amount of shifts and save X amount. And then I could get this thing that I'd been wanting and wanting to save for. And I do wonder if, if you're taking 30% out and not telling them that it is going to be in their benefit in the long run, whether you could actually make them feel as though it's a little bit too hard to do those things. And so it could kind of work in reverse of how you're wanting it to, because they just feel as though it's like, it's like too hard to actually save up the amount that they might want for certain things. Do you see where I'm coming

from yeah what you could also do is so when I'm one of four kids and we all did it like when we were of working age if we still wanted to live at home we paid them which is fine because if we moved out we would have been paying rent right so we were paying less than we would have paid if we were living out it was more just a contribution to teach that financial responsibility and blah blah blah and also to contribute right we're eating them out of home we whatever I was a total mooch I never paid rent but I did I and it never bothered me but what my family did was it was never a percentage it was a number oh interesting which you know just let's pull $150 out of our butt $150 a week I would pay I actually I think it was way less than that at the time but

let's just say 150 if I wanted to pick up extra shifts and I could earn $500 more that week it's not a percentage so i am earning more and so maybe that is your meat in the middle as well it's like not 30 but it's just a number 50 100 150 whatever you want it to do and then they have the ability to then play with more because 30 is a lot for that age when they are also like paying i mean i don't know if you're paying tax i don't know how much a 14 year old earning probably not probably like 10 grand a year i don't know i don't know that tax-free threshold is getting awfully low it is it's like hey if you earn four dollars you can pay 30 so yeah i'd love to know what everyone else thinks because this is so subjective like every single person listening now is going to

feel different on either like you shouldn't make your kids pay at all or they should be paying or you should be telling them and you shouldn't be telling them yeah what you know that is coming for you so i think it's really fascinating i'd love to know on insta so make sure you go and check out let's do a poll on that interesting do you think more people than not in this day and age are getting their kids to contribute to the household if they're of working age I think the opposite I think because of the cost of living they're actually more reluctant I mean I'm guessing that they would be more reluctant to enforce that their children contribute to the household financially just because everything costs so much you know but that's also why maybe

they are there's a lot of families that also need the contribution if they were earning money then like hey we also need money for food and things like that it's like I think it can work two ways depending on whereabouts you are and what socioeconomic background you have, where your family is. Maybe that could be something for this person though. Like if your kid's 14 and they don't know that you're saving the money for them and they think you're pocketing it, 30% of what they earn on their very small wage, like they might build a bit of resentment towards you being like, are you joking? Like I don't earn very much and you're taking it. Yeah. And what I will say, i've just thought of this i wasn't paying the rent slash board from when i was working because

i was working also illegally for cash from like like i worked a fish and chip shop allegedly you can't you can't come for me tax department i also worked for like like you it was like four dollars an hour and i i remember i quit because i got burnt by boiling oil in the vat because i was a fish and chip shop worker anyways you were a cashie there was no workplace safety no work They were like, get back to work. And I was like, ah. I was like, I have a piece of fish. Shut up.

And I was like, okay. But no, I started to contribute when I was of an age that could have moved out. Right. If that makes sense. Yes, it does. Probably 16, I reckon. Like when you could have left school and got an apprenticeship or whatever. I didn't leave school.

I stayed. But I think that was the age where it's like, you can make a contribution. And it wasn't a lot, but it did teach me a lot. It helped my family out. It like, I learned the value of money. I appreciated money more. I worked harder for it and also you brought up the point Kish if they do tell him it's going to teach him delayed gratification he's going to learn that anyway because he's not got much savings like

if he's already giving he's going to learn that it still takes a while to save stuff up but fascinating question yeah I'll actually pop this one into the Facebook group as well our Facebook group is the Life Uncut Discussion Group and I think that a lot of people you know would have been in similar situations to you and they could probably have more advice from a lived experience rather than just from like a hypothetical this is how I feel about money but yeah money values is something that I think everyone just feels so slightly differently about you know it's not like it's not like we have these opposing opinions but I think based off of how you grew up and what you grew up with and how you're going to teach your children you know what I wonder I wonder if and

I'll just leave you guys with this thought you know there's the Bill Gates of the world there's a few billionaires of the world that have really publicly said we're not giving our kids anything thing like they are not getting a thing because I don't want to change who they are I wonder if they're doing the same thing I wonder if they're trying to make their kid think that like nothing is going to be handed to you but really I would be shocked if a billionaire is not leaving his kids something like I wonder if he's doing that on an extreme level so that their kids are setting up their own life they're getting their own jobs they're working hard in case it's true but then He throws them something.

Throws them a billy. I don't know. A billy? A casual billy from dad. We'll have to wait until Bill Gates dies to know if – Yeah, I wonder if Melinda – yeah, that is fascinating. I do get your point. I think that in those types of situations,

they typically make sure that their children are going to be looked after. You know, like it might not be through like a cash – Yeah, I mean, let's not get into – Yeah. Okay, let's go. That's a whole other realm. Whole other episode. We've actually done an episode on the Epstein podcast with Aaron Parnas.

But if you do have a question for Ask Uncut that you would like us to unpack, you can either send it to us at Life Uncut Podcast on Instagram. You can just put Ask Uncut at the top or you can put it into the Facebook discussion group, which is Life Uncut Discussion Group, and have the opinions of everyone else answer it as well. And remember, to mum, to dad, to dog, to your friends and share the love because we love love!