Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - HELP!!! I keep farting when ever I orgasm! Break up remorse and how to deal with a friend whose drinking habits are ruining your friendship

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

ASK UNCUT is our quick down and dirty bonus ep each week. This week we answer your burning (and some what smelly) questions - Like what to do when you have a little problem of farting during an orgasm, how to navigate break-up remorse and our thoughts on navigating friendship when your friend is a shitty drunk.If you have loved this ep follow @lifeuncutpodcast to keep up to date and hit that big old subscribe button!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode, our second episode of the week, Life Uncut. Actually, this is our Ask Uncut episode, and we are answering your deep, dark, and dirty questions. what do you want to say you keep opening your mouth i was gonna say every time you intro this one you're like welcome to life uncut damn it it's ask uncut i yeah you would think that after three months i would have gotten it right by now so welcome to life uncut ask uncut i did have a glass of wine before i came here and i'm gonna admit i feel a little bit fizzy did you a little bit spritzy was it a red i hope so it was a rosé oh you do love a rosé dude it was a french rosé

I'm very fancy. Oh, yes, just what we usually get at Toddy's. Just the one little French rosé, and I feel great. I'm here to give some good advice out. So, guys, thank you so much to everybody who has written in their questions for today's episode. We feel so privileged that you trust us to give our very heartfelt, extremely unqualified advice, as you all know,

especially from old Brittany here who's still single. I think that's what makes me more qualified. Yes, because you're out there on the front line. I am on the front line. I am an animal. I am doing this for you all. You are an animal. I know.

And how do you even know I'm still single? You don't know that. I do know these things, Brittany. I'm just like planting the seed. All righty, all righty, all righty. Let's get into the episode. Britt, have you got question number one for us? For us?

For me? Yeah. I mean, I've got question number one. Would you like to hear it? Yes, I would. okay it's a banger girls is it normal to pass gas during an orgasm i'm not laughing that was not me laughing at the person oh no no that was a very unexpected question that is what i'm laughing at it's laughing at the situation because this definitely happens this is a real pickle dickle

but this is a smelly little pickle dickle as well i've researched the answer laura because i didn't quite know the answer to this what's your answer straight off the bat like where do you where did your mind go straight away well not well i mean not from personal experience i i don't but i do you know whiz pop is that what you call them whiz pops so growing up the word fart was almost like a swear word in my family so my parents made up a name for it and it was a whiz pop so mom would come in when we're all kids be like who whiz popped imagine having like a really hot orgasm and going, oh, sorry, I whiz-popped. Just ignore it.

Whiz-pop's super cute. Just never talk about it and just move countries. So I actually do have a story about this. Once again, not from me. Yeah, friend of a friend. So I used to work with a girl and she came to work after she'd been dating this guy for a little while and we were really close. We used to tell each other all of our ridiculous dating stories

and she had, for the very first time, he had gone down on her. and she had had an orgasm and she had farted in his face. Whiz pop straight to the face. Because she was so relaxed. She obviously thought, oh, my God, I want to die because she was so embarrassed. And he said, oh, my gosh, don't be embarrassed. It's a sign that you're so relaxed and comfortable with me. They went on to date for five years.

Of course they did. Of course they did. I've never done that. Maybe you should try it. And I can't get a boyfriend and she farts in his face and she secures him for five years. The body is weird. The body does all weird different things,

especially when you're having sex and things are moving around and there's friction and there's air bubble thingies happening. That's very scientific, I know. So I'm going to say it's definitely possible. That's your advice, it's possible. I mean, yes, it is possible. Thank you, Rosé, for your contribution tonight. No, what I mean is that like, it's not abnormal. There's such a spectrum of what constitutes normal

while having sex. So yeah, sure. It's normal. Maybe it's a little bit inconvenient and maybe it's a little bit embarrassing, but it's definitely still normal. Yeah. And I mean, there obviously is a such thing as a fanny fart. Yeah. We've all been there. Come on guys. Guys, it's actually, it's literally air. It's just air. We've all been there. This happens to the best of us. Well, look, what I looked up was because I couldn't go and give this advice properly because I didn't have a lot

of experience in it. But, look, the answer is unfortunately yes. When you climax, the muscles around your genitals, including your sphincter muscle, basically just relax. So it's not unusual for gas just to go in and out because you're so relaxed, which is what happened to your dear friend. Maybe you just need to like not eat anything too smelly pre having a good time.

Like no real meaty dishes. garlic oh it's garlic does that one of them i know real meaty dishes or real veggie dishes what what makes a nice smelling fart we should google this and give that don't need a fish curry that's probably a steer clue that's probably a steer clue regardless wow this really took a turn for the worst in all possible ways i i was going on a date like not that long ago with my two girlfriends i was with them like earlier in the afternoon we're having an early dinner and um they were talking about the date and i was making like a dinner at my house at the same time and i was making because i love it i was making a tuna toasted sandwich like a tuna toasty tuna

i don't know i'm telling you what's on it tuna mayonnaise and avocado please elaborate i can't wait to hear cheese tell the rest of australia anyway i start making it and they're looking at me like i've just murdered someone i look over and i'm like what they're like what are you doing i'm like just making a snack they're like you're going on a date later and i'm like yeah like and you're eating tuna like it was the biggest deal ever and i'm like i'm gonna brush my teeth but apparently this is a thing that people plan their whole meals on the day of a date no i couldn't care less the only thing i wouldn't do is eat spanish onions because that stuff screws me up does it yeah that's a real real deal let's get back to the farting insects okay guys i did look it up because

i didn't know the answer but it is apparently very very normal because when you're having sex the in and out motion the penis can rub against the anus wall which apparently causes gas so that has come from a specialist from long island college of women's health in brooklyn i love it that you actually do proper research on this stuff you know what you say that every episode i know but that proves that every episode i do the research but every episode you say it i'm so why are you startled then if it's every episode I just expect less from you you can always not have an orgasm and then you won't fart but I think if you get to a point where you're very comfortable with the person whatever they'll get over it and just I think if it happens on like the first time you've

been with someone I don't feel like you can pretend it didn't happen I think you need to make a like a joke or laugh about it or own your fart you have to own it right stand strong in your fart do you know what happened to my friend once? Who picks these questions? I laugh at this whenever I think about it. We were living in London and she came over to my house and she's like, oh my God, Brittany, I just nearly died. I'm like, what? She's like, I went to the chemist to get a script. And you know, when you go into a chemist, it's always dead silent. No one ever speaks. Everyone's just like really calm. So she's in the line. There's about 10 people lined up to hand their prescription over. She's probably like four from the counter, probably five behind her.

dead silent like the softest softest whispers because no one wants to say here's my can i have rash cream you know anyway so it's dead silent and she she's like i needed to do a fart i needed to fart so bad and i was being in the line for so long so i didn't want to walk away and leave the line but i was like my farts never make a sound so she thought it was just going to be like a she's like so i just let go and it was like and then she's like what do you do the whole everyone everyone hurt and then it smelled she's like i just stood there and pretended like it didn't happen she's like i stood really straight looking straight ahead and no one said anything no there were a few sniggers but like what do you do at least the good thing in that situation is

that you're at the chemist and so there's a good chance that other people who are at the chemist that also sick. So I have one story and I'm not going to pretend this was somebody else. This was definitely me. I had been in India and I was very sick. So I'd actually been in hospital in India with like deli belly. I was flying out and I'd gotten in the plane. The water had like a little, I had the whole row to myself and I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't going to be a big one. It was just a little one. It was tiny. It was like tiny little, the tiny little puff of air. but oh my god it was like a noxious gas and the air flight hostess stuck her head around and she went she went to ask me if i needed something but i wasn't prepared for her to come to my aisle so

she knew it was you so no she came and she goes oh my god into my face but then she blamed it on the man sitting behind me and she moved me to a new seat because she thought that it must have been the poor man behind me. Well, there you go, guys. That's how you get an upgrade. Just blame it on someone else. Drop a bomb and blame it on someone else. So when you fart whilst you're having an orgasm, be like, oh God, I can't believe you did that. Ruined my orgasm. I think if you say anything convincingly enough, you win. Actually, do you know what I would like? For next week's unfiltered, I would like it to be a fart story. So if any of you guys have a really good unfiltered fart story, send it in because that's what I want next week's to be. I don't. I feel like we've

talked about farts enough now. It's so funny. I wonder how many people have gone to this far in the episode so far. I reckon more than you think. Oh God. It's natural. Let's go on to the next question anyway. It's only natural. All right. All right. Sorry about that. Let me know when you finish. Yeah. I'm just waiting for somebody to sign me as a singer. I'm going to keep doing it in every episode. Next question. Brittany, question number two. I am in a really bad state of dumper's remorse i broke off a relationship with my partner of 15 months a few weeks ago and i just feel sick all i can think about is the good times even though i broke it off for good reason he's all i think about and all i feel like doing is whipping out my phone and sending him a text

wanting to try again the thing is there were multiple red flags i finally made the call after months of arguments now i'm here depressed missing him terribly i feel gutted i feel sick um i think about maybe I've made a mistake should I have held out my friends and family are constantly reminding me that the breakup was a good decision but I genuinely can't see my future without this without him I genuinely can't see my future without him have either of you been through this sort of situation and how the hell do you get out the other side I think the only thing that fixes this is time we're programmed to once once that person's not a part of our life anymore we're not we don't harbor on about the bad things that happened we're so programmed to kind of

get over the bad things and really focus on, like she said, focus on all the good times and all the happy times, because of course they would have existed. But what you have to keep reminding yourself is that you made that decision for a reason. That person was displaying behavior that whatever the red flags were, we can only assume that that person's behavior didn't align with what you want in your life for your relationship. And if you go back to them and their behavior is the same, the only way that that relationship is going to work is if you lower your standards. and that's not an option either the longer you've been with someone the more intense this is going to be and a lot of that is due simply to habit and comfort so think for 15 months this girl has

spent every day receiving texts from someone seeing someone sharing a bed with someone and then all of a sudden you're not so half of this is mourning the situation not the person and I think people confuse that a lot you miss the comfort and the safety and the known and the certainty I mean there's definitely the separation anxiety that comes when you have a breakup but there's also a total mismatch in your own identity because for a while there your identity is not as a single person your identity is as a coupled person and you are you are no longer a me you're a we and everything you do and everywhere you go and everything you talk about you consider your partner in the choices that you make. And so when that severs, whether you have made that decision

or whether they have made that decision, that takes time. And it's really hard to kind of reprogram your brain to go, oh, that's right. I'm not a we anymore. That's not my identity. I need to rediscover who I am. And it can be a really difficult process. And it's a process that can take a while. I think that the only way that you can really overcome that is by continuing to go no contact because the longer that you go without speaking to that person and without dipping back into what used to be, the easier it's going to become. And the more that your new identity will take form. I remember, so this actually happened to me. I had been with my partner for eight years, my first partner. I don't know if I, I never really speak about him, but so you guys know,

I was with someone for eight years and I had a house and I, after the eight year mark, I loved him so fiercely. Like every cell in my body loved every cell in his body. And we had been through so much um and I just knew nothing had happened with us I just knew that he wasn't my penguin and I wasn't his and it wasn't meant to be but nothing happened so I think that's the hardest way to end a relationship as well because neither of us cheated neither of us we just knew it wasn't right so finally one day after an argument I knew I had to end it so I ended it um and I moved out of our house and it was horrific like it was horrific and I remember him turning up to my house and he was so upset and he was begging me like i will do anything like you name i will do

it i don't want this to end and i remember bawling my eyes out and saying no like i just i wanted to you know like deep down i wanted to and i said no i can't i closed the door and i had panic attacks for two months i cried myself to sleep for two months and then finally i was like i have made a mistake I had this guilt like dumpers guilt almost because you feel like it shouldn't hurt this much like I shouldn't hurt this this pain shouldn't last so long and it shouldn't be so intense so I must have made the wrong decision and I missed him and I missed our adventures like we went on so many adventures we're always camping and surfing and I just missed all those things and all of a sudden you forget about the reason the fights and the reasons you broke up and so after

about it must have only been six weeks or something two months I went back to him and knocked on his door and I was like okay I'm I'm ready like I want to make this work and I'm back and like I can't live without I honestly thought I couldn't live without him and it was a role reversal he I was bawling my eyes out begging him and he was like Brittany no he's like I and he was very mature about it he's like I want to be with you and I want to say yes but I know it's the wrong thing and I know you've made the right decision and you're just having a weak moment you're forgetting the bad times and I'm doing this for you he's like I'm saying no for you because I know this is just going to happen again in two months it's really getting to the point

where you need to take your time away and that's what was good for him he took his time away and he realized that we were just remembering the good times and he pointed that out to me he's like remember this remember this he was really lovely but he's like you were met you're forgetting the fights and it was true I needed to sit back and think about those bad times again and I think a lot of people like this girl she's doing that she's forgotten why they broke up but even even if she hasn't forgotten why they broke up I have a kind of a similar story um but we did get back together so my ex who I've spoken about a bit on this podcast before who really betrayed my trust multiple times cheated on me was sexting other girls um really like like some very very bad

behavior that you would think I would have broken up with him the first time he did it, but he did it multiple times. And it was because each time I lowered my standards of what I would accept, because I wanted to be with him so bad. I wanted the relationship. I didn't think I could live without him. And I really felt that I felt that this connection I had with him, this soul connection that it couldn't be wrong, but chemistry can be wrong just because you have, and we've said this in a past episode, just because you have intense, incredible chemistry doesn't mean that you're going to have an incredible relationship. Your relationship can still be shit because people can still behave really badly. And so in my experience, I broke up with him and I, and I

like suffered that most severe anxiety and pain and breakup, breakup remorse completely to the point where I, I didn't have the strength to sort of stay single. I went back to him and I was like, you know what, let's work through it. I believe you when you say you're going to do better. I knew he wasn't going to, I knew we would have the same problems down the track, but I was trying to grapple with the concept of like, maybe, maybe it's, if he's sex other girls and he needs that for attention, maybe I can be okay with that. Or maybe I could even entertain the idea of an open relationship. Like I was so willing to drop my standards to such a point where they didn't even exist anymore just because I wanted to be with this guy. And what I found out from

that experience is that that doesn't make you happy either. You're still going to be, when you get back with him, you're still going to be miserable. But what is the problem with that though, is that your happiness is now completely in the hands of somebody else, at least in this situation where you've decided to break up with them because they're not the right person. I guarantee you that time, it absolutely heals everything as much as it doesn't feel like it in this moment. In a few years time or six months time, you won't, the intensity of this pain and the longing and the missing, you won't feel this. That will have subsided because grief is very intense at the beginning. And that's what this is. You're grieving a relationship you had.

And the thing is, when this happens, a lot of people want to maintain the friendship because they're like, oh, we're not meant to be together, but we still want to be in each other's lives. I don't think you can be friends with an ex for a very long time. I think you need to go cold turkey for a little while and it's it's literally a detox you're detoxing oh 100 we've said this on many past episodes but we both so strongly believe in the importance of no contact after a breakup and that no contact isn't for a week or two weeks that no contact is for a minimum of several months so like three months no contact and that will allow you to what like we said reform your identity as a single person it'll give you the ability to make rational decisions

that aren't based on this crazy intensity of feelings that you're going to have at the moment. Breakups, they fucking suck and it takes a while to get over them. And just because it hurts doesn't mean that that's an indication that you made the wrong decision. Okay, well, number three, and I think this will be our last one. Yes, listener number three. Because it is 9 p.m.

What crackers have you got for me? Yeah, guys, we're recording this quite late at night time. But you know what? It's the only time that we had in our very busy week. And we just love you guys. so yes we're here for your free therapy session so all right question number three okay my best friend and i have been friends for 18 years our younger partying days were fairly wild but i feel as if i'm moving on from that stage in my life this friend has always been really loud and in

your face drunk which tends to rub some people the wrong way on numerous occasions this friend has physically pushed me when drunk that's usually the end of my night and i just remove myself from the situation. She has also been in altercations with other people due to her drunken behavior. She's a different person when drunk and is disrespectful. My previous efforts to bring up this pushing issue and her relationship with alcohol have resulted in no improvement. I recently brought it up again and her response was, I know it's an issue for you, but I don't know what you want me to do about it. I'm out to have a good time for myself and would have to change myself just so you enjoy yourself wow that's a really selfish yeah outcome i feel like

my concerns and feelings are not important in this friendship and that this may have caused an irreparable rift between us should i walk away from this friendship can i do anything to help this friend or is this up to her to want to help herself this is like a deep one yeah way to end on a debbie downer i actually but i i find this very interesting because there's so many parts to it and it's it is difficult to navigate i think like from a very top line and my the first thought of advice that comes to me with this question is that you can still be friends with someone if you're not going out partying with them like why can't you see them during the day why can't you do constructive things with them like go for a coastal walk or go and have lunch

if you know that there's someone who has bad habits when they're drinking and you don't like the person when they are when they're drunk don't hang out with them when you know that they're going to be drinking it doesn't mean you have to cut them out completely but i i just think don't put yourself in situations that are going to make you upset because she clearly isn't going to make the changes and that's only if you want to keep the friendship which it sounds like you do i would be mortified if my friend came to me and said i'll be tripping over myself apologizing and i'd say okay well what can i do like i need to change this so a there's something not right with the friendship the fact that she said I'm not changing for you I think the issue though when it comes to

drinking like like in this sort of situation is that people don't often when they're when they're so drunk and they behave like that and they're so wild when they're drunk and then you try to explain to them what they're doing a lot of people's first reaction is to think oh it's not that bad like she's overreacting because they don't remember or they don't have like like full capacity to really comprehend what they're doing or how loud they are I mean if they could watch a video of themselves back they probably would be embarrassed but maybe her defensiveness comes from her lack of ability to understand a lot of defensiveness also comes from the fact that maybe she knows she has a problem and she's not willing to change not willing to face it yet my advice is

exactly the same as you laura you don't have to cut the friendship but you don't have to put yourself in that situation you know now that nothing good is ever going to come from it so meet her for lunch meet her for lunch meet her for coffee go for a swim go for a walk catch a movie. Like there are a thousand things you can do that's not going to put yourself in that situation, but you can still maintain the friendship. And I think, I mean, it's, it's really unfortunate and it is really, really shitty that you have to be the one that changes the situation that you have to be the one that says, well, I'm not going to go out with her now because I don't like the outcome. So you're kind of like limiting yourself from having fun.

But if you're in this same situation over and over and over, and you know that she isn't going to change. The only thing you have control over is yourself, your own actions. So I think if you do want to maintain that friendship, that's literally the only path that you can really take with it. Otherwise you may get to a point where she keeps behaving in this way, nothing changes. It makes you more and more frustrated and you feel like she's not listening to you or she's not caring about your feelings and it will erode the relationship entirely. If you can eliminate being exposed to her when she's drinking then i think that there is some some way of salvaging the friendship and she sounds like she might actually need a little bit of help

but it is a situation where she needs to help herself all you can do is let her know that there is a problem on your end and other people's end and that you would like to help her you can gauge her reaction but long story short it's really hard to help people like that unless a they're hyper aware and be there in a place where they're willing to seek help you can't force someone like that to to get help you're saying if you're saying that you're ready to cut back on the partying and it's not really something that you're enjoying anymore there are so many other ways for you for you to like engage with your friends and do things with your friends i i same i don't want to party anymore i don't want to go out and have big

boozy nights so i don't i i don't i'm i'm never in a situation now where you know people are doing party drugs or people are partying to excess. It doesn't happen in my life because it's just not something that I go and I'm involved in. So I think, you know, it's, there's a lot of power in saying no to situations that you don't want to do. And if she really is a friend, you will still see her in other environments and in other ways. And it would be a shame to throw away an 18 year friendship because she's obnoxious when she's drunk. Well, we agreed on everything today. Most things. Did we?

I think we did. Oh, there you go. I think we agreed on most things, which, you know, sometimes we don't. And I think that's healthy in our relationship. Thank you for that, Dr. Britt. I think it's healthy too. Guys, thank you so much to everyone who has written in with their questions. If you have a question for us for this episode, Ask Uncut, then slide on in to our DMs at

Life Uncut Podcast, and we will add it to the hot and ready list for next week, which we may end up answering. And I just want to do a shout out to everybody that has been tagging us in their Instagram stories on how they're listening to our episodes and their thoughts on our episodes. We love seeing how you listen to them. Guys, if you have enjoyed this episode, hit five stars, tell your friends, tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your nan. And share the love. Because we love love. We'll be right back.