Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - HELP! My partner wants to go to a sex club

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

ASK UNCUT is our quick down and dirty bonus ep each week. This week we answer your burning questions - Like what to do when your partner wants to try out a sex club, and is it normal that one boob is bigger than the other, how soon can you nap after sex and lastly we give some heartfelt advice - 'ride that pogo stick off into the sunset'....If you have loved this ep follow @lifeuncutpodcast to keep up to date and hit that big old subscribe button!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut Ask Uncut Edition. We're your hosts Britt and Laura and we're so pumped to be here. You're so enthusiastic for 6am in the morning. I know. I like this from you. but that's because you said can you intro i'm too tired guys we had to sneak in here very very early this morning because we are a little bit concerned that maybe the world is going to shut down so we thought we would squeeze out another episode before it turns real crazy outside but you know

what if the world does go into lockdown and you do have to stay inside just make sure that you stock up on all the essentials like wine so that it's always time for quarren wine oh that was better in your head wasn't it that was so much better in my head isn't it quarantini oh yeah quarantine corinne ween corinne twine corinne i need to shut the hell up since you know actually corinne put me back to bed please so my sister and i we both work in emergency as you know we're both radiographers but we work at opposite shifts because we are both shift leads so we can never really work together yesterday i was on the day shift and she was she comes over and relieves me she was on the evening shift anyway so you pass the baton as it was and run into the emergency we

put past the diseases onto each other and then we run off so she i messaged her and i said i have a sneaky suspicion going to be a statewide slash country wide lockdown very very soon i think you should duck back up to the shops and just get some more stuff and i was like can you grab me some stuff too she said oh just go after work it'll be fine anyway 10 minutes later i get a message from her that's just photographs of the shops and she's like okay tell me what you need right now because there's nothing left this was at coles bondi and i said oh my god i gave her a little list of stuff that was just the basics and one of the lists one thing on the list was tampons i was like get me some tampons because that stuff is an absolute necessity well you don't want to bleed out at

home that would be horrific no one's coming to get you no one's coming to get me so anyway she she she said she could get me one bag of dinosaur chicken nuggets that was all that was left and then she said it was like the hunger game she was gonna say that's not a tampon Brit you can't use the chicken nugget maybe they're absorbent and we don't know for sure if they're made of chicken you're definitely using them wrong okay that was definitely bad explanation on my behalf but bravo to you she got me chicken nuggets comma space then she went to the tampon aisle she said she was it was like the hunger game she was at one end of the coles aisle and at the far end was another girl that she saw and they locked eyes and then they looked down the

aisle and there was one little packet of tampons left and she said it was literally hunger games you know that moment that they release the bell so they were both running up the aisle to get the tampons they got there at the same time and then they had to end up my sister's so nice she's like oh do you want to split it so you know how the tampons come in twos they split the tampon back and had one each okay but who got the half that had the barcode on it because that's the real smart person in this scenario no i think they actually did the right thing and just like split it after because everybody needs a tampon everybody needs a tampon that's gonna be the new theme song anyway so she comes home she's like i did what i could i got you a can of pineapple

a can of beetroot half a packet of tampons and some dinosaur chicken nuggets so i'm good guys i am good you're set i know where i'm coming for dinner tonight can't wait tampon party at britt's house oh guys it's definitely weird weird times we really wanted to bring you this episode give you some content out there in the world that is non-corona related even though we've been making some jokes about it so come on board here we are ask uncut answering your deepest darkest dirtiest questions so thank you to everybody who has written in for this week we have some pretty good questions for you should i kick it off i would love that would you i never do the question asking i know that's why i'm here for it feel being in that seat over there look how

excited i look my eyes are like i'm like what are you gonna ask me because you got a question this week okay so my question is well it's not my question but the question that was asked in was Brittany what would you do if your partner wanted to go to a sex club and take you to the sex club she's not against the idea but she just wants to really make sure that she has is making the right decision in this okay so I guess it depends on the type of sex club like what what do you do there because I know and I don't know because I've ever been I think I think the actions in the title no okay so i had we all know it's not a sex club where you play poker no listen or chess there are so many levels to sex clubs i had the ex once guys a long time ago and he really wanted me to go to

this sex club with him he said he said there are levels britney he was explaining it to me and i remember him saying we can just go and watch if you like so there's like peepholes and you can watch people have sex but not not engage and so you can watch with your partner just other couples going for it and those couples know because that's another level those couples know that people are watching like that's their choice so they've gone to that level like a spectator sport yeah so you could just go and spectate because a lot of couples I guess that gets their I don't know for want of a better word juices flowing that's what gets them going and they don't actually have to engage I think if you're curious and you are not totally against

the idea then I think that there's a conversation there that you can explore do you think that it might change the relationship though like once you go to a sex club or once like what if you can't ever unsee that you can't ever unsee that you can't ever undo the things i guess before you actually make the decision as to whether you want to go and you know be a part of this is that you would really have to lay down some very very concrete guidelines and boundaries around what you feel comfortable with what in your eyes constitutes cheating i really think you need to get super clear on those details before you can go and do this well then i think there's the third level so i think there's the spectator sport then there's you could be having sex as

the couple knowing people are watching and then there's a level where i believe you can be having sex with your partner but also other people can be engaging as well so there's it's pretty um multi-dimensional that is wild i think you need to make sure that you're doing it if you say yes so I didn't do it and I said no because it wasn't for me but that's just my opinion if you're happy to do it for you because you are curious and you want to do it go for it like I think you can do whatever you want it's your body and and it's you your soul but if you're doing it because he you feel like your partner is pushing you or you feel like he's going to break up with you if you don't that's a problem do not bend your boundaries for somebody to make somebody else happy

if you don't feel comfortable and it's not a space where you feel safe in or you know you think you're going to enjoy then it's okay to flat out say no and to be on totally different wavelengths with this you know he asked a question you can't be angry at him for asking a question I mean if you don't ask you don't get but it that doesn't mean that you have to say yes to this if you're not comfortable but if you are comfortable I think just get clear on what those boundaries are and then you can both enjoy it within a space that you feel safe in yeah I guess it's also a level of swinging and there are a lot of people that swing in the world I think a lot more than we know maybe if you are a swinger and you're happy to share write into us and tell us some of your

experiences you always stay anonymous but I would love to be hearing about that from someone that actually does it successfully in a couple I think it's really interesting as well because we can get so stuck in our lane with what is our version of normal and be like oh anything outside our version of normal makes me feel uncomfortable but what is okay for one person isn't okay for somebody else and what isn't okay for one person is totally fine for another and they can still have a really successful relationship whilst experimenting or having an open relationship. There's so many levels to what is acceptable and okay.

It all comes down to the individual couple. I do have a girlfriend of mine who went with her partner to a sex club and they went more as a spectator thing. That was exactly their experience of it and it was a way of them spicing up their relationship a little bit and it was an experience and a shared experience that they had and they really enjoyed it together and it wasn't something that they felt like they had opened up their relationship to in a bad way.

It was something that they looked at as though they experienced together. I think it's super important in life in every aspect, especially in something like this, but just in every single way to not have preconceived ideas of somebody or something and not judge anybody on something that they like to do because like you just said, it's different for everybody and what floats your boat is going to sink another ship. I just made that up.

I can tell. But your boat might float, the other one might have a hole in it and it's like a slow sinking. I like that you're sticking with this and you're going to try and convince me. I love it. It's cute. You're like, the boat is on the bottom of the ocean floor. It is the Titanic.

But there might be a buoy that's still floating over there. You may have a life jacket and can jump off in time. So do you know what? If you want to do it, go do it, explore, get all kinky and weird. And then write to us and tell us how it was. But yes, please. And then also, if it's not in your, if it's not something that you want to do, be strong in that decision and let your partner know, don't do something just because you think

it's going to make your partner happy. And don't do something just because you think that it's going to make your partner like you more or stay, stay within what you feel comfortable with and stay within your boundaries. All right. I think we covered that one. All right, Brittany, give me question number two. Hit me. Okay.

Question number two. How soon, Laura, is too soon to go to sleep after sex? I think this is really funny. Straight away is fine in our relationship. Because you're asleep during the night. No, I'm not asleep. I'm just wishing I was asleep. Oh, God.

Praying to England. Okay. okay so i it looked this depends how long you've been dating for i think if you've been dating for a long time whatever you can go to sleep afterwards it's fine you don't need to cuddle anymore you've done all the cuddling in the world but i i reckon even if you're just freshly dating you can still go to sleep like you're you're in no aren't you in like bliss state why can't you sleep because you can't have sex with someone britney and then turn your back to them roll over and go to sleep straight away what if you don't turn your back and just like stay in the snuggle stay in the

nook what if yeah what if you're in the nook you're in the little arm nook and you're just so tired that you drift off this question is 100 dependent on the nook are you in the nook and falling asleep in which case you can do that straight away that's fine but why can't also just putting it out there why can't you roll over and then your little spoon and then you fall asleep as a spoon also fine spooning gosh that's a mystery from the past isn't it blast from the past maybe i need some relationship advice oh dear this is opening up a whole lot of worms so i think you can fall asleep i like i think you and i're gonna be different on this one i think that you think that if it's still fresh you should be like up canoodling and like talking about your

life goals whereas i think that you can just go to sleep whenever the hell you want but i'm constantly fatigued so for me i'm like this is my time to shine but also i guess the thing comes down to is that would you feel rejected would you feel rejected if he fell asleep straight away and i think it comes down to body language if you're just rolling over turning your back towards someone and falling asleep because that's how you find it comfortable to sleep probably a little bit of a dick move a little bit this might be where i'm going wrong yeah the guy's just crying into his pillow on the side using the extra tissues to wipe tears away no because like i quite like to um i would i quite like a back tickle

high maintenance over here like a little back tickle and then you fall asleep do you say this you're going on like a third date or a second date little first date whenever you're having sex are you like thanks for that back tickle go to sleep well i don't think i say it but i probably imply you just wiggle your back at him while you roll over wiggle i wiggle my back on his hand because he's asleep i just like up and down on his hand so he scratches my back no i don't i don't i personally i think you can't body language is a thing you're right i think you can sleep whenever you want but i don't think if you're rolling over to one edge the bed and you're like thank you bye and just fall asleep and that's pretty shitty but if you're

just like having fun and you're cuddling and you fall asleep then brill i agree with that i i just think definitely be aware of your body language be aware of like the message that you're giving to the person if you don't want the poor guy sitting there going i feel used he's also gonna be like i got used but seriously i mean i've definitely been in a situation before with a guy where as soon as it was over, he rolled over and fell asleep and we were not dating for very long and I took it as a real line in the sand that he was not very into me. I know who this was.

You've told me this story. Have I told you this story? Yeah, and you were like, okay. Yeah, I literally laid there and I was like, well, all right, that was very weird. Sure, I hope you enjoyed that. Glad that I put you to sleep. I just love that this –

Good night, darling. I love that this was a really pressing question for someone. Yeah, but also like when you've been in a relationship for a long time, like I mean like Matt and I now, if he rolls over and goes to sleep straight afterwards, I'm like, oh, good job, Laura. Bloody wore him out. That was well done. Go and get a snack.

You know what? Anything for a nap. I love a nap. Go and get a snack. Yeah. Success. I think we've answered that question. So basically what was the answer?

the answer is it's dependent on body language go to sleep when you want but just don't turn your back and be rude right but also how long are you having sex for this is my other question how long are you having sex for that you're so exhausted afterwards that you need to nap straight away if you're having it like an hour long session and you need to then go straight to sleep oh my goodness anyone would that's a marathon darling anyone would be tired i'd need to go get a physio appointment after that if you're having like a quickie and then straight away having a nap i don't know probably not necessary i don't know how dependent it is on the time either because i think sometimes it's you're just coming across as lazy right now

i like my sleep i don't think it's dependent on the duration because i think for some people it's the feeling at the end that makes you tired it's not the duration and also it's what you it is what you put into it but it's just that feeling at the end of like i guess relief and you just want to sleep don't you ever just feel that i don't remember what it's like it's a distant memory we need to go on to a new question all right next question um am i doing this next question all right all right all right all right this lady has written in and she has asked what have you asked the boobs the boobs we are delirious this lady has asked about her boobs being different sizes so she says is it normal that i have one boob bigger than the other oh absolutely that's

so normal i don't know a girl that has naturally two boobs that are exactly the same size unless they're not real like unless they've had that's why i said naturally oh yeah sorry i missed that part micro sleep so also also i think the other thing to keep in mind here as well is that most people who like your dominant hand so if you're right-handed or left-handed whichever is your dominant arm and dominant hand that is usually the boob that is bigger because your pectoral muscles underneath your boob are bigger as well you're looking at me like i don't know what i'm talking about but it's true i have another one no i was just putting this in my head thinking about it but that's not true for me wow my non-dominant hand sure thanks for throwing that

spanner out there also i've got something else to tell you your fingers on each hand are not the same size either so if you try on a ring just say you have a ring on your left hand on your ring finger maybe you're married lucky you then take that ring off and try and try it on your right hand ring finger and I bet if you're only if you're right-handed whichever is your dominant hand will be your bigger hand and you know vice versa so check your rings now and one hand is bigger than the other I'm doing it now because that was wrong for my boobs and this fits perfectly My boobs. No way.

I'm an exception. Look at that. One is tighter. Well, clearly you don't do any work with your hands. No hard work. No, I use my brain, babes. My brain. Oh, well.

You should see the size of my brain. I can see the size of your head. You have a little head. It's so small. My nickname at school was P-head because I have quite a small head. I feel like it's more in proportion now as I'm an adult. You used to get called P-head. Dude, my head was so small.

That is so mean. Yeah. Okay. Back to answering the question here. I, I think one, if your boobs are different size, who cares? So long as you, it doesn't cause you a lot of like emotional turmoil and you're not constantly thinking about it or constantly feeling upset. If they are significantly different sizes, like very, very obviously. So, and it's something that makes you incredibly uncomfortable, then you can go and fix it. You can go and do whatever you want. There's no like limitations around that these days and it's really, really socially acceptable if you want to. However, I think

it's totally unnecessary and I think that every single girl out there could attest to the fact that one of their boobs is bigger than the other. My right boob is massive and also saggy now in comparison to my other one because Marley only wanted my right boob. She didn't want my other one. So this one's like a saggy flat pancake and then the other one still looks like my pre-baby boob really why was she so selective I don't know my left boob felt constantly left out of the conversation though she was like it was like what about me it isn't fair anyway so um I actually know someone um I have a friend that she had one breast that was like significantly bigger so she got one implant like it was big enough to make a difference and she was uncomfortable with it so

she just got one very small like I don't think you'd even know it's an implant like that's how small it was it's just literally to even the chest out you can go and get cosmetic surgery if it's something that you are so insecure about but i mean i think brit and i we both are kind of on the same page with that like that decision very much has to be for yourself and it's not something that either of us promote or like overly support we think that if you want to change something that's for you do it but it's always more important to be able to be really comfortable and accepting of yourself and if you have one boot bigger than the other girlfriend then you are one of many don't even worry about it and also after you have kids your boobs just get so weird

anyway like whatever just let them let them go let them run wild yeah and then maybe deal with it later right or don't just accept it i'm happy with my right saggy boobs just tie them in a knot and let it be done with it over the shoulder throw them over the shoulder yeah wrap them around your neck scarf in winter all right i have one more question oh i thought we had two more questions I thought we were making this one a long one. Off a quarantini. Okay, two more. To enjoy during your quarant-wine time.

Oh God, it doesn't get better with time. It's not. No, there is that snort. Put that away. I'm going to leave that in, guys. Sorry, I just snorted into the microphone because I found myself so funny. That's a real problem. So the next question is, how many is too many?

I was in a relationship for a long time. We broke up last year and since then I have been dating a lot and having a lot of sex. my friends are telling me that i'm sleeping with too many people but my question is how many is too many and if somebody asks you your number do you have to tell them or can you make it up like it's less so basically she's been doing a lot of it and she doesn't she her friends have made it feel uncomfortable do guys still ask how many people you've had sex with oh my god i have a funny story for this so there was this guy that he was really this is a long time ago he was really pushing me to go on a date like um he slid into my dms but like way before the bachelor or anything

he was known like he was someone that people would know and he we went on a date he took it was really nice day like you had a public profile to an extent not not huge huge but he was i like you had to just throw that out there but then you're like i'm not gonna tell you who it was i would never tell and that's one thing that goes on he was famous but i won't tell you half famous no but that's what i mean not famous like half the population would have never ever ever ever heard of him and it's a it's quite a niche he was in a niche market maybe he's reality tv famous no i'm not telling you laura get stop looking at me can you hear me eating a biscuit and for the microphone no and we went on this really nice date actually like he took me to

the opera house and opera bar and it was awesome then the next day he tried to sleep with me and I wasn't into it I was like not gonna do it blah blah blah and then he drops a bombshell and this was his line to convince me to sleep with him his line was I have been with 300 people and I thought that's your line right now when you're trying to convince me but for me I was I was like I feel so special yeah it was a it was an odd choice um and I did not sleep with him and I did not see him again. But I just thought what a weird, what a weird thing to say in that moment. I mean, it's one thing for, it's one thing to tell someone outwardly and just be like, yeah, so this is how many people I've slept with. It's another thing to ask someone. I genuinely think

it's none of their business. Like if a guy asked me that, I would just say, I'm not answering that question because it's, it's so not their business how many people you've slept with. And also it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change who you are. It doesn't change the date that you've had. It doesn't change the prospect of you guys having a relationship. All that does is put something in their brain that says you're dateable, you're not dateable. It gives them something to judge you off. But I imagine, like this hasn't happened to me,

but I imagine people that are asking this question would be more people in a new relationship, do you think? Yeah, totally. It's like when you've just started dating a guy. And I think it's probably a bit of a younger thing. I might be wrong. No, I do too. I remember guys asking that question quite a lot when I was sort of in my early 20s and I was

freshly dating but when you know as I got older and then when I was sort of dating into my late 20s and when I was 30 nobody ever asked me that question I think that people I think they're like by the time you're in your 30s they're like that counts getting up there and I don't want to know about it yeah absolutely and I would never ask someone either because to me it doesn't really matter but can I say if I'm being honest once this guy had said to me the number I was off it if I'm being honest like my immediate reaction was like oh well I am not adding to that a notch on your belt I'm not adding another number for you but if he I don't know what would have happened if he didn't say it because he didn't say it but that's why I think it's so unnecessary to if

somebody asks I think it's so unnecessary to tell them your number because what that instantly does especially if you're if you've slept with a lot of people what that instantly does is it devalues the connection that you have with them and it makes them feel like they are just one of many which may not actually be how you feel about that person you may really like them so I think be careful with that conversation not because you have any reason to hold back and not because you have any reason to be ashamed of just because like I think it's an immature yeah it's an immature question to ask and the outcome can only upset someone so try and steer away from giving an answer to that secondly to the main part of your question with this which is how many is too many

or you just come out of a relationship and you're out there getting yourself some good times girlfriend you ride that pogo stick into the sunset oh my god did you just say that yes write it on down to sunset town i have the time of your life you can do whatever the hell you want so long as you're being safe so long as you're not using sex as a weapon as a like a means to fix you because it's not gonna do that but you can have a great old time and enjoy yourself like you don't have to answer to anyone and if your friends are saying that you're having too much sex like i mean why is it their business why are they so concerned about it so long as you're say married yeah friends saying that they're jealous i'm jealous they're probably you know

so long as you're safe so long as you're taking care of yourself so long as you're using protection so long as you're like not making stupid decisions when you're drunk and you are doing everything to protect yourself around this sex then go to town babe go to sunset town i agree with everything absolutely you can do whatever you want the pogo stick part not that part i would have never said that but that's why we are both here because you will say things that I won't and I will say things that you're like you're like yeah you would say it you would still fucking say it Laura you pig no do what you want be safe make sure it's for the right reasons and that's that's all I have to say it's no one else's business I guess the only thing that like comes to mind in in breakup

situations where someone you know goes from being being in a loving relationship to then kind of screwing the world is that sex isn't a cure. It's not a fix. And sometimes spending a lot of time with other people as in like going on lots of dates and like being really physical with men, it can be a bit of a bandaid for dealing with emotional pain. So be careful with that. I think that if you are not allowing yourself time to feel through the breakup and be sad, and you're just trying to fill your time with seeing people and going on dates and men, that's something to really be wary of because it's going to, it's going to in the long run, slow down your healing process. And it's probably going to confuse you a lot. Um, so I think that's my only advice in that

situation is to be careful with your feelings and allow yourself time to grieve your past relationship. But if you feel like you're totally over your past relationship and you're enjoying sex because you're enjoying it, then there is nothing wrong with that. And you don't need to answer to anybody's questions about that can i get an amen amen sister yes you can give me the next question okay the next question is actually the last question so this question is i have just started talking to somebody online that lives two hours away my friends say that for our first meeting he has to come to me but i want to know is there a rule can i go to him or should he come to me i have no idea what to do oh the world of online dating is weird and wonderful isn't it

there's so many new things to navigate i think that normally i would say so for example if two people were seeing each other across sydney if i was seeing a guy that was in the northern beaches and i'm in bondi i would i would be happy if this to go to him like if the circumstances permitted if i was had more time to travel that day or whatever but i think when it's long distance like two hours is significant it's a whole new city or town and you haven't met him yet I think purely for safety purposes I would be saying he should come to you for the first time you're in your own environment around people you know you'll tell your friends exactly where you are it's this one literally for me comes down to a safety aspect I hadn't even thought of it like

that but that is you're 100 correct I don't think it's a guy that you've never met you have no real understanding of who this person is you can only go off an online profile you really can't trust people that you meet online until you've spent time with them because they can project or be anyone that they want to be and so I'm with you yeah do not put yourself into a completely foreign situation foreign place two hours away from family and friends and if a guy likes you and he's interested and he feels that there's a connection as well he needs to travel two hours to come see you because if he can't be bothered to do that in a first date he's probably not going to do it on the second or third date. It could just be an indication that this guy is lazy as

hell. Yeah. That's all. Or he's not that into it, you know? And then if you do start to see him for sure, 50, 50, you can go to him as much as he can come to you once you know him and you've seen him and you feel safe. But I, just for me, it's a hard no. I think he, I have been in too many sticky situations and I have met too many crazy people to know. And guys, I've been dating a long time, definitely make him come to you. But there is that percentage of people who are predatory. There is that percentage of people who don't have good intentions. And I think that you need to be really wary that not everybody online has the same intentions as you do. So put parameters in place to protect yourself. It's really important. On that note, next week, we will be

talking about this type of thing. I'm going to talk about something that did happen to me online dating um in in that sense of be wary and sometimes people aren't who they say they are and you can be in um some pretty sticky situations so we'll we'll discuss that next week more in depth and we've got more time um but yeah in this case guys sorry doll he's coming to you absolutely but i love it when we agree on our topics i mean apart from the sleep one why don't you just skip the sex part all together and just have a nap that sounds great dude that's what i've done for like eight years oh my goodness that that gets me wet that makes me excited cut that bit out

i'm lucky you're editing this got that bad boy out guys thank you so much for tuning in i hope that by the time this comes out we are not in lockdown i hope you're not in lockdown but if you are i hope we've given you something to take your mind off things a little bit of a giggle maybe even some insightful information so up in the air what's happening in the world at the moment but we you know so long as we can still get together we can still record we will definitely be bringing you the episode right now we're sitting as safe at 1.5 meters apart from each other you've only spat on me twice today but i've wiped it off straight away go wash your hands but guys thank you so much for listening to another episode if you've enjoyed this episode

you guys know the drill please jump on to apple itunes if that's where you get your podcasts hit that five stars leave a review if you're feeling really really zesty today and extra generous love a bit of zest a bit of zesty and tell your friends tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog even though your dog won't listen to it but you know what always great to spread the word and share the love because we love love oh dear that was that was good do you reckon yeah it was funny as fuck We'll be right back.