Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - HELP! Work wars, faking the big O and pregnancy fears 👌💦

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

Happy Thursday Lifers, It's time to get into your deep, dark and burning questions but FIRST we simply must know how the heck Britt manifested this friendship with Rebel Wilson that we're seeing all over the gram!Our deep dives for today are:-Friendship/sibling work relationships. Do they work with work? How do you get them to work?-I've been in a happy relationship for a long time and we have great sex. The catch is that I've been faking orgasms because getting to the big O has been tough and I have some factors like meds coming into it. Do I tell my partner that I've been faking it for 6 months or will that destroy him?-I'm pregnant and I feel excited, sad and terrified all at the same time. Is this abnormal or is it business as usual to have doubts as high as the ceilings?You know the drill, if you like the pod, follow/subscribe and leave a little review if you've got a spare sec!Share the love because WE LOVE LOVVVVE xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. This is our Thursday episode. This is our Ask Uncut episode where we answer your deep, dark and dirty questions. Brittany, we just did this intro and Britt forgot to actually plug her microphone. No, she had it plugged in. She had her microphone on the other side of the fucking table. Like we've not been doing this for two years. Guys, I'm running on very little sleep.

Laura and I have just been talking. Like we talk on the Zoom, but we, you know, we get in, we Zoom call each other. We quickly see how each other are. We prep the episodes. Anyway, we're having a little chat and then we started recording and I'm literally talking into space. the microphones nowhere near me and after about 10 minutes I'm like something doesn't feel right that's because I didn't even have a microphone I was looking at her through zoom and I was like

it's really weird she must have the microphone set up behind the computer screen but I won't call you up on it like just in case I didn't want to like I didn't want to ruin the flow and the episode was going so well but look it was going so well we're actually we were on such a roll I think we made a few jokes too we can't recreate those either we're gonna have to start from scratch. Britt I have some questions for you I know we seem to say this at the start of every episode but you are living a sensational life you're at the US Open Jordan just won I want to know everything and I have some other very big questions that I'm not going to let you off the hook on. Oh that sounds ominous yeah I just this is day two of the US Open but Jordan's first match

and it went all day and when I say all day this was like I think just shy of six hours I think it was like five and a half hours or something I was like bro can you wrap this up like I have podcasts to record, people to see, places to be. But he did win and it was such an amazing atmosphere. If they're not going for an American here, they're very patriotic for Australians as well. So all the Aussies and Americans get really big crowds and really big cheers. So that was amazing. He won, but here I am. I just want to say though, dating a tennis player, it's like the most, okay, like we love Jordan. We're all super stoked that he won. I'm very, very happy for him, but it's the most unproductive sport to date someone and watch.

it's like imagine going to your partner's work and just watching them work all day like his job his tennis matches go for a normal eight hour day sometimes that's a normal working day and you're expected to sit there as a partner and watch them work for the entire day then he plays doubles after and i'm like i can't do this this is like a 12 hour day you're like a tennis widow yeah there's heaps of photos of me just from like the tennis photos where i'm actually sitting here i'm in his match and i have my my laptop on my lap and i'm just like half working and half looking up. And I've gotten so many messages being like, how are you at the US Open and you're carrying your laptop around? They're like, put it down. But I don't think you guys understand. Laura and I,

these laptops are stuck to us because we need to be able to work at different times across the world. I need to have stuff available for Laura when she needs it. So yeah, sometimes I'm in the corner and I think no one notices, but everyone's like, you need to put your laptop down and watch this match. Even worse than dating a tennis player and having to watch every single one of their games would be dating a cricketer oh that would be worse imagine sitting for for a week straight watching them play and being like do I can I go to the toilet now like is this am I allowed to stop watching for 10 minutes what if something critical happens I feel like parents and Laura like this is obviously something you need to really consider you probably don't realize at

a time when you've got little kids and you're thinking about putting them into what sports they want this is probably the biggest single most important decision you will make in their upbringing what sport you put them into because if you put them into something like cricket or something that's like the longest i don't know what else is longer or more boring than cricket to be honest that's you done forever also if you put them into something like i don't know dancing or something amazing but all of a sudden they're obsessed with something and there's not a lot of money in it if your kid is going to become obsessed in a sport you need to think very carefully about what sport you're going to put them in yeah so we've enrolled marley in the

50 meter sprint. I did see that video. It was so cute. I have a question for you and you're not like, I've asked you this a couple of times off the podcast and you've been like, stop it. I don't want to tell you. You're not going to get off it now because I'm not going to stop record. So you're going to have to answer it. Firstly, I don't sound like that. And I'm offended that you just impersonated me in that way. You cannot keep posting. And this is for anyone who doesn't follow Brittany on Instagram. You cannot keep posting photos of Rebel Wilson and not fucking explain what is going on. Who are you and what is this world that you're living? I'm sorry, when did you become best friends with Rebel Wilson? When did you guys post cute couple

photos together? And also, how did you manifest this into your life? For anyone who hasn't listened to the podcast from the start or missed this episode, maybe like eight months ago, Britt slid into rebel wilson's dms trying to get her to come on the podcast rebel like very politely declined and was like thanks like you guys seem nice but i'm totally uninterested because you're peasants and now you're friends with her what the fuck now she's asking me for fashion advice honestly i do believe in it is i mean it's a funny story i do believe in manifestation to a point that like i believe that what you put out to the universe and what you say you want and the things that, you know, it's an energy thing. I do believe that. I think if you're really negative in life

and you're really down, you know, I don't think the things you want come to you. That's just something that I believe in. So you put out there that you want Rebel Wilson and she came into your life. I can get her to keep on putting in Jason Momoa then. Let's see where we get to. I actually tried to get him on the podcast for you. It wasn't going to be a surprise, but he hasn't got back to me yet. That's a shame. That's a real shame. He also hasn't gotten back to my DMs either. Yeah, look, I, if you guys listen to the podcast for a long time, you know that I've always wanted to get into acting it's something I studied a long time ago believe it or not I love comedy acting so Rebel has always been one of my favorite actors or actresses and one of my favorite Aussie actors

because she's so smart she got into acting later in life she's a lawyer by trade and I just think she's fucking funny I just think she was amazing I always loved her and I wanted to get her on the podcast when I thought who would I love to interview it was always Rebel Wilson I slid into of DMs and she was really polite she wrote back but she basically like in no sense of the word blew me off she was like oh I'm thank you so much I'm flattered but like super busy being a super successful Hollywood star so I think but you're a peasant yeah and also you're obviously a peasant and I don't want anything to do with you no but she's like I'll let you know when I'm free like and I was like I'm never hearing from this lady again but you know I was stoked anyway I was like

cool she's poor she's just as nice as I hope she was that is essentially what I thought turns out anyway rebel is a huge tennis fan so I met her through a bunch of Jordan's friends and she's just it just was very organic she's very cool she's everything that I thought she'd be and we just sort of clicked and we've just been hanging out okay so I have a few more questions one when is she coming on the podcast and two have you had the awkward conversation like does she know that you slid into her dms and that she replied to you saying you're a peasant like did she know that she replied to you saying she doesn't want to do the podcast and at what point are you going to bring this up to ensure that Reverend Wilson comes the people need this I need this we need

this she 100% would have to know there's no way she doesn't know that that happened but we just pretended like we were like let's just start fresh let's act like that didn't happen I'm Brittany and I'm super cool that's what that's what I said to her no I didn't say we haven't had the conversation but she must know like you know you would remember that but she's so I genuinely haven't asked her to come back on the podcast because since I know her I know how busy she is she like she's a freak she works until midnight 3am filming she's filming she's only just just finished she has a very short break and when these people say like their schedules are full I can actually see that now I can see how full it is for her to come here she had to just like scrape a few days off so I'm sure

one day she's going to come on the podcast but it won't be immediately in the near future but that's that story I've had a lot of you guys sliding into my dms being like you manifested that this is crazy get her on the pod and i just want to say like if there is ever evidence of manifestation this is it get manifesting anyway guys we did not do our accidentally unfiltered on tuesday's episode because tuesday's episode was a really big one for anyone who hasn't listened to that we covered incarceration nation and we spoke to a woman named carly stanley now we had some amazing feedback on that episode so please go and have a listen to it if you haven't had the opportunity too but we are bringing you the accidentally unfiltered because we cannot have

a week without them and Britt I am gonna kick this bad boy off because I got a good one and it's a quick one and I also know how much you love talking about dogs and surprisingly not okay here we go I own a dog walking and pet mining business so when people go away they usually just send their dogs to come and stay with me at my house. I got so wasted this one night and my partner at the time and I were getting pretty jiggy with it. I was feeling myself and I started to let my inner porn star unleash. I was getting quite verbal. I was getting quite verbal. Things were starting to feel pretty amazing and was really close to an orgasm. Anyway, as I tip over the edge I'm like oh Brian everything goes dead silent because that is the name of the fucking

dog that was staying with me at the time not my partner it's not even the ex-boyfriend's name or like the one-time love or the one-night stand is the dog that you babysitting that's fine imagine imagine calling out oh my god like me in bed having sex with Matt calling out Buster's name you would never recover you would never like is it because you're fantasizing about that like i can't know sorry too far can't can't even is the dog in there watching also because that's like a double whammy wow is that you have a real problem with dogs making eye contact brit so i know that you wouldn't be okay with this i do it's like one of my things that gets gives me like the goosebumps i can't do it what having sex with animals in the room yeah it's probably not for anyone hey i mean

like you could prop like i could probably do it if they were pretty chill and like just laying at the end of the bed like no no but like if they're at the end of the bed when they try and lick your ball sack it's too much okay no like when they sit next to the bed and the dog like rests its head on the bed and looks at you with those eyes like you can't you i'm sorry but if you do that you're a sicko all right i'm gonna do my accidentally unfiltered this is pretty cute i mean it's not cute it's fucked for her r.i.p but this has happened to me before so i really resonated with this okay girls i slept with a really cute guy from work and i've since developed a pretty big crush on him so I was messaging my friends about it just to get some advice

and of course they wanted to see what he looked like so I went to his Facebook took a screenshot of a really good photo now mind you this photo was like three years ago because you know you really have to go back to find the good ones the next day at work he approaches me in the break room we got talking we're flirting we're giggling and I ended up showing him something funny in my camera roll from what I did on the weekend I opened my phone and on the screen was the screenshot of his face from his Facebook from three years ago he looked up at me and said well this is awkward and we haven't spoke since oh my god he's not wrong it is awkward oh it's just like it's just like your worst nightmare especially because you're not at the stage of the relationship

where you can laugh it off being like lol guilty stalked you like it's still too new like if you've been seeing someone for a month or so you can be like oh look my girlfriend's wanted to see but after like one night i'm sorry but like r.i.p i will never forget the time that i started dating this guy like dating that's like a very like over embellished use of the word i was seeing this guy like we literally went on one date and we've met on tinder anyway wait for it the next day after our tinder date his mum added me on facebook so he had obviously she she added me as a friend so obviously he'd gone home and like he didn't live with his mum he called his mum and told his mum about me his mum has stalked me and then accidentally friend requested

it wasn't an accident though or was she just like cool i want to get to know my new daughter-in-law i don't even know man too much okay look let's get into these questions we've picked out three questions for Ask Uncut. You guys know how this episode works. You ask us questions, we answer them with all of the enthusiasm and none of the experience. All right. Do you want to go first? Yes. Okay. I will go first. All right. I have a work one. Hi girls. I run a business with my sibling and to say it can be difficult at times is an understatement. There are so many great benefits to working with someone you know so well, like open and honest communication, trust, respect and just really understanding one another. Despite this, I find that close relationships can

sometimes lead to frustration and arguments that would probably never happen in the usual workplace. You both make your relationship work so well with the podcast and business and seem to have a great balance. And I know that Laura also works with her sister. Do you have any tips for working with close friends or family members and how you establish a good work-life balance with the relationship? And do you think there's anything wrong with having arguments from time to time? Brittany, do you think there's anything wrong with arguing from time to time? No, this is actually funny. Sorry, this is not funny.

This is a very serious question and I will take it seriously. What you don't obviously know is that whilst Laura and I obviously are very close friends, we work together, we both work with our sisters. Laura has worked with her sister in Tony May, obviously, which I will let her tell you herself in a minute, for years. And I've worked with my sister for the best part of 10 years in emergency all around the world. So she has the same job as me.

so I don't know if everyone knew that but we've always worked together. In all honesty I don't know if Sherry and I are a real exception to the rule but we I could probably count the number of times we have had an argument or a fight on one hand and that is we'll get a bit shitty with each other but I think there's just this mutual level of respect where we say what we want to say and it's never nasty mind you it's more just a frustration with each other and I know that she'll say the same thing in the early days of working so I'm older than Sheridan and I had did the degree first so when she got the job I was like her boss I was teaching her things and so like I just felt this little bit of power and I was like you've got to do all the shit jobs because

you're like the new person then all of a sudden she got really good she's so smart and then she was we're on exactly the same level she probably knew a lot more than me and some stuff and there's just a mutual level of respect we just know what needs to be done and we do it I think the same thing is to be said with Laura with you and myself we have probably had arguments that again I could probably count them on one hand and I think that that's bound to happen it's inevitable to work so closely with somebody and have so many different stresses in your life so Laura and I speak there is not one day there is not one day where we are not in contact whether that's recording emails texting there is like a thousand ways we're in contact when we have an argument or a disagreement

on something whilst it's rare I think what we've learned to do is just to be really open with each other I think at the beginning we just kept things a bit to ourself and just tried to get on with it I think now I think the key is to just have this honest communication with each other say what you're feeling and talk about it basically and I think a really big part of it is admitting when you have I don't want to say done something wrong but I feel like Laura and I will just apologize to each other if we think we've offended each other or done something wrong we just say look I'm sorry and I think the other part is to be grateful for each other so I think just last night I sent Laura a text just saying like for you've been fucking killing it lately like thank

you so much for all your work that you've done you know she's doing all the batch uncut stuff and I think that that is the important balance is to make sure that each other feels appreciated and to make sure you're just really honest with each other. Other than that, I was like, you're definitely going to have your hurdles. What do you think, Laura? Yeah, I mean, you covered so much, but I couldn't have said it better myself.

I was like, the end. I know, sorry, I was on a roll. Yeah, and XOXO, the end. I agree with everything you said. I think when you have your own business, when you're an entrepreneur, when you are starting a company or whatever it is that you are doing with your sibling

or your friend or whatever business structure there are a lot of challenges that you will face but there are also so many rewards like it is such an incredible lifestyle it's such an incredible thing to be able to have control over your own finances as well like when you work for someone there's always a salary ceiling as to what you can earn whereas when you start your own business you really can become flexible and nimble in the way that you create your own wealth and income and I know that that's not what the question is directly that you've asked but it does kind of lead into the sacrifices that you make in that when you're emotionally invested in a product I think the reason why Brit like our relationship in our working relationship might be a little bit

different to your working relationship with your sister is because like you are both governed by the medical board you both work under certain set rules so like the restrictions that you guys have in your working environment are the same that you would have if it was your sister or somebody else whereas when you start a company with someone and you are working on a project together it's like a passion piece you're so much more emotionally invested in the outcome of that because it's yours and you have that ownership so there are always going to be times where you don't agree and you might feel like you're doing more work than the other or they might feel like they're doing more work than you or maybe you just don't see eye to eye on something and that's so so normal

like I cannot tell you how normal it is I will say it again just because I think it's the most important point to bring home is making sure that your partner feels appreciated because it's very easy to feel unappreciated when you know you're both working so hard when you're working in it and you get bogged down by it and I know that even sometimes with Britt and I we've had times where the work has been so much and we've been so busy and we haven't had the same opportunity to be able to work on our friendship because we've just been so busy with work and there's been weeks where we've gone like oh my god like we need to go out for dinner or we need to do something so that we're taking care of our relationship as well and it's not just a work relationship in regards to

like me working with Tony May with my sister the reason why we are so different and the reason why it works so well for us like we have never had a fight working together but the reason why that is is because we have fundamentally different roles and we do not micromanage each other although we own the company together and we collaboratively work on the company we work in silos when it comes to our own actual roles in the company and that has allowed us to both feel a sense of real ownership and I think that sometimes that's important as well as like carving out what is it that you do and what is it that you provide in the company that's different to what your sister provides and really respecting each other's ability to do your jobs without micromanaging

each other that's where I find a lot of arguments can come from and I think what you can do to like if you're having that much trouble you what you didn't say was how long you've been working with your sister how long you've been running this business is this just a new thing have you been doing it a while I get the feeling you haven't been doing it that long you will find your groove it takes a little while to find your role and I know that with Laura and I and we're at the point now where we have like main roles but we both and you will as well you just pick up the work as it goes you'll see something that needs to get done and you almost just do it because you have the same end goal you both want the same thing in this so that's what it's a matter of but if you're

having troubles one thing you could look at doing is maybe at the start of the week you can just write down the goals for the week and jobs that each of you have to achieve and go through it that way that way there's no miscommunication there's no have you done this why haven't you done this that kind of a thing so you can always just make a really clear cut schedule for the week if that's the sort of problem you're having but 100% with a really close friend or a sibling you need to like Laura said you'd have to have that time that is separate from work so Laura and I forget we're friends sometimes we will go weeks we do no I mean I love you like we we actually hang out eventually and talk and we're like we're actually we find each other so funny and like

we have these really deep conversations that we don't ever get a chance to have because we end up just working to the bone and then we're like we forget to actually live and have this relationship so I think that's important carve out some time that's separate don't talk about the business just talk about what you want in life who you're dating the funny things you know just have a a little moment to unwind and relax. The only other thing I want to add to this, and like you touched on it as well, Britt, you said, you know, you both want the same thing out of the business. You both have the same goals when it comes to work. I think it's really important to have those conversations and make sure you do have the

same goals. Because I think more often than not, there is an assumption that you have the same goals. There's an assumption that the business is heading in the direction that you both want. And there is an assumption that you're both passionate about the same things. Unless you've had those conversations, you can't be sure that that's actually the case. And it could be that some of these arguments are coming because fundamentally you have different opinions about what the business should be. And that's a much bigger problem to unpack. And I think really like from the very beginning of starting a business with a best friend or a sister or someone who's close to you, you know, they always say like, don't work with family, but I actually think the

opposite. I think you can work really well with family. I just think you have to be super clear about what your intentions are and know that from the very beginning, you've got a great idea and a business plan of where you want to take things. That's my advice. Question numero due. That was the most disgusting Italian accent I've ever used. Girls, I have a dilemma. I've been with my current partner for about six months now. We've connected on every level and we are very deeply in love. I am fulfilled in almost every aspect of our relationship, but there is one aspect I still struggle with? Sex. So our sex life is great. He focuses on my pleasure a lot and I find it extremely enjoyable. I love these words, extremely enjoyable. I'm thoroughly enthusiastic about our

sexual intercourse. He is aesthetically pleasing, shouldn't say that. However, it takes me ages to get off. So at first, sometimes I just used to fake an orgasm because I was just so tired. It went on for so long and I didn't want to keep going. I struggle heaps with getting off due to the medication I take, even though his techniques are immaculate. My question is, should I tell him that I fake it a lot or do I keep faking it? I know it'll hurt his feelings and he may not trust me if I tell him the truth. I just feel like I've dug myself into a really deep hole. It's been so many months. What do I do? Help. Lolcano. This is actually pretty funny. Oh, you just have to break up and start again like you you've done it's over it's too fucking hard imagine if your boyfriend

came to you and said for six months i've been pretending to orgasm look this is tricky because if my boyfriend came to me and said he'd been faking it which like it's pretty hard for men to fake let's you know there is an end result but if my boyfriend came to me and said he was faking it for six months i would for sure be shattered i'd be like how embarrassing like i thought i was killing it with these maneuvers but it hasn't been doing anything for you like then I would think back to like all these hectic moves I've been trying thinking he loved it you'd also be so mad that like you even bothered I'd be like why did I even bother going down on you for so long if you faked it especially because it goes for so long could have gone for five more

minutes maybe you would have gotten there really I've got some very controversial advice here and you guys are gonna all say that this is terrible advice but like fuck it roll with me okay I think you like have to wean him off this idea that you can come easily I don't think you sit down and say hey just an FYI every time I come within 10 minutes I've actually faked it it takes me 20 minutes or an hour or whatever yeah you'd be digging your own grave you can't do that I think you just have to like the next time you have sex don't fake it make him go for the hour or hour and a half whatever it takes like I mean it might be a really long marathon and then does anyone have sex for an hour and a half anymore like I'm seven minutes this is it is 10 tops no I'm not even

joking I used to think like I would be like god seven minutes is not very long but now I'm like so long as you come I come we're both satisfied seven minutes is all you need girlfriend time efficient the baby's gonna wake up you're like boy can you wrap this up I've got two minute noodles going cold so my my advice is is like kind of wean yourself off the faking it so if you don't fake it the next time you have sex and you sort of say oh it's taking me a bit longer at this time and then kind of like do that over the next few weeks I don't think you have to then just have this like sit down conversation of like hey I've been faking it and now we have to totally reassess our sex life I think he'll just feel criticized and critiqued you know which is not

necessarily the outcome when truly the reason why you haven't been out of orgasm is because of you and how your body works which is like totally normal and totally fine but I think you might have to just kind of like slowly make him aware that you actually need him to do whatever he's doing for a little bit longer in order to get you off yeah like look I'm just gonna say it how it is you need to lie to save everyone take it to the fucking grave girlfriend and stop faking it you're doing everyone a disservice especially yourself I will not often say this when I say you've got to lie like I mean it but also it's to save some some hurt I'm always about honesty and when I say going to lie I think that you need to just like Laura said bend the truth what I think you could

do is it's going to devastate him to say that for six months an hour and a half sessions he hasn't done anything to you and you've been faking it he'll be shattered and there might be a level of trust that is broken because and he'll be embarrassed if anything like he's going to feel embarrassed I think what you could do is you said the medication that you were on was stopping you from from getting there maybe you can just talk about that maybe you can just say be really honest and say I don't know what's happening I don't know if my dose has changed or whatever just say it's not I'm not getting there like I used to and maybe just say that you need make I think maybe I need to try something different and just use it like that so you're being honest you're going to

say like I'm not getting there now and just say it like women you're not going to come every single time like you're just not going to come and sometimes if I'm not going to I'm just like you know what like if I'm stressed and tired or something I'm like let's just wrap it up here because like I'm not going to do it it's like just be honest I don't I don't think you've got many other options like I just don't you don't want to keep lying I know that you don't know whose feelings but you cannot keep lying because you never you can't have a life a cumless life like you can't have a cumless life it's just not a thing so I mean that's your option I refuse to allow you to live a cumless life you're doing yourself a disservice girlfriend but look I know

there's going to be someone listening to this who says like you should be honest you should always tell the truth I get it like in a perfect world we should always tell the truth but let's be real not all lies are created equal some are white lies some are really to protect and I think we can make a pretty educated decision on how damaging or hurtful or problematic a lie is telling someone that you have been faking an orgasm for six months when you you don't intend to continue to do it I think is a pretty white lie and I think you can get away with managing this without totally destroying his sense of self or his sexual prowess so that would be my advice as well but um I definitely think you need to stop faking orgasms and you need to stop faking them

like right now today like as soon as this episode comes out if you fake another orgasm I'm going to be so cross and that goes for every single one of you out there who is doing it Britt have you ever faked an orgasm oh yeah in my heyday never with Jordan I think when you're younger sometimes you're not experienced enough and you don't know what's the right and wrong thing to do but sometimes like there are so many moments in life where you're like I just want this done like I'm so tired or I'm not into it or I can't be bothered and you just wrap you just want to wrap it up but I would never do that now and I haven't done it now yeah I agree I do think that there is like an age thing that's attached to it I think I used to fake them so much more when I was in my early

20s and I just wanted the sex to end but I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings or like I didn't want to have to I felt awkward to say oh look I'm not going to come can we stop it felt like it needed to the end would only end if it was like we had both kind of you know had the big oh okay I think we've gotten enough into enough detail on that one. All right, let's go for question number three. Question number three is a bit of a serious one. It came in and it really resonated with me and that's why I wanted to touch on this one. So ladies, I've just found out that I'm pregnant and I know I should be super excited. I am excited. There is a part of me that's really, really happy about this because it's something that I've wanted for a really long time. However,

I also feel really scared and really sad a lot of the time as well. Everything that I've read online keeps telling me how excited I should feel, how happy I should feel. Everybody keeps congratulating me, which makes me think that I'm not allowed to have these other feelings of doubt. Is this normal? Is this something, Laura, that you experienced? And also how can I overcome this? Brittany? I mean, yeah, so I have an opinion on this, but obviously it's not a firsthand experience because I haven't had a child, but I have had very, very close friends who it has been their dream. It's all they've thought about forever is to have a child. They've actively been trying to have a child then all of a sudden they've fallen pregnant and they have

absolutely shat themselves they've said to me like exactly that the doubt and being scared and unsure what have I done I'm not ready for this I don't think I can do it how am I going to be a good mom how am I going to learn what to do and everything that you just said they have felt even though it's all they've thought about and wanted so I think being scared and wary and cautious and and worrying about the unknown is completely normal in all aspects of life and for sure your life is about to change drastically like I only need to be around Laura for 10 minutes to know that your life is going to change drastically I think that these are really normal feelings and I don't think you can go on the internet and read that everyone's should be all happy and glowy and

you know we know firsthand the internet is fake we know firsthand that everyone feels different emotions everyone is going to go through different things so please don't don't judge how you're feeling based on some mother's blog that says that you should feel this, this and this, and you should look this, this and this. Yeah, I totally agree. And I guess I wanted to share this question because I know when I found out that I was pregnant, I had so much doubt and it wasn't around doubt whether I wanted to keep the pregnancy or not. It was around doubt around like my own feelings. Like I was so scared. I was like so unsure. I was really excited at the same time and I felt this like push and pull inside me

where I was like, why is it that, you know, I can be so happy and be so sad at the same time? And the reality is, is that like feelings can coexist. You can be super excited about one thing and be absolutely shitting yourself about the other. And I don't, I think it's unfair for you to expect that the only feeling that you would have at this time is to be happy and to be excited

because the reality is, is like, yes, you're about to give birth to a child, but you're also gonna say goodbye to a huge part of your own personal identity which is the person that you are before having children. And there is like, you're allowed to mourn that person. And I think I, over the last couple of years have really mourned the version of me that I was. And I am a very different person now that I'm a mom. I love the person I am. I love being a mom. I think all of that fear kind of lifted after I had Marley. But at the same time,

there are parts of my old self that sometimes I think, oh God, she was very carefree and easy and life was very very different then there's also the fear of the unknown like this is a whole new chapter in your life that you just have never experienced before and there's anxiety that comes with the unknown and you know I think that all of this is really really normal the other part of this which I really I think it's very relevant and also really important to kind of add on is like sometimes when people who fall pregnant and it was a surprise but then they have a miscarriage they feel like they weren't entitled to be sad because they feel like well because it wasn't planned because I didn't have the opportunity to get super super excited about it or tell all my

friends or you know it wasn't this solid set in stone thought that I had that you're then not allowed to be sad if you have a miscarriage and I know that that's how I felt and like it is absolutely okay to be sad about losing something even if it wasn't something you had entirely planned as well so I just want to say like the full spectrum during this period of your life is normal happy sad scared anxious fucking shitting yourself like it is all so normal and I think you will continue to feel that past the pregnancy you'll feel that when your kids are on the outside running around there'll be days where you're like wow what even is this life this is just wild and there'll be days when you're like this is the best thing that's ever happened to me

and maybe you'll benefit from speaking to some of your friends or relatives that have had babies and see if they felt the same thing a lot of people probably don't want to openly speak about it until the question is asked because they feel like they shouldn't have those feelings but the fact of the matter is I can guarantee you probably more people than not would have experienced these feelings of being worried about the unknown and scared and and just not knowing what's going to happen and not knowing if you're doing the right thing I can guarantee they've all felt it so you might really benefit from speaking to some really close people too. Oh that's just it Britt I think think that's such important and invaluable advice because the reality is is that no one wants to

speak about these things because no one wants to be seen to be ungrateful and no one wants to kind of talk about the light and shade for fear of coming across as though especially when it's something that you have wanted for so long especially if you've already expressed how much you are looking forward to this and it was a planned thing you don't want to then say that you are doubting or you feel scared because like that then makes you seem like you're being ungrateful for something that you've finally gotten and you know it's just not the case i think so many people feel like this so yeah i think if anybody's in the same the same boat like what brit just said speaking to people who are close to you who have had babies will make you

realize that actually this is a very normal thing that we all experience yeah and congrats on your pregnancy and good luck for the rest of it you're having a baby all right guys that is it from us if you have been following along with the batch you would also know that tonight thursday night is bachelor finale night we have some massive episodes coming up over the next couple of days we're going to be interviewing the girls we've got batch on cart i'm very excited for all this this has pretty much consumed mine and matt's life over the last few weeks and if you have any accidentally unfiltered for us for next week's tuesday's episode slide on in to our dms at life on cut podcast and you can also slide in there with your ass gun cuts as well you guys know the

drill if you love this episode please tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love!