Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - He’s Offering To F*** You “As A Friend”

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your dilemmas and Laura has had a dilemma of her own on her way into work today. She’s hoping that all of the speed and phone cameras were not working… Vibes for the week:Britt - Stalking Samantha on Disney Plus  Keeshia - Survivor Aus v World   Laura - CheekyGlo Glass Foot File  Then we jump into your questions! DO I RISK THE FRIENDSHIP FOR SOME FWB?Five years ago, I met a man at work and the chemistry was instant — like, sparks-flying, butterflies, ‘this is my future husband’ levels of chemistry. We ended up dating exclusively, but I freaked out, got cold feet, and ran straight back into the arms of my toxic ex (rookie mistake, I know). We cut contact for about a year, I moved interstate, and life went on. Then at the end of 2023, he unblocked me on socials and slid back into my life… and honestly, it’s been like no time has passed. We’re best friends, he’s my ride-or-die, my confidant — but the elephant in the room is that the attraction never actually went away. It’s not just platonic, and we both know it. Here’s where it gets spicy: I recently told him I’m demisexual and haven’t had sex in over a year. His response? He basically volunteered as tribute to ‘help me get back in the game.’ On one hand, I trust him more than anyone, and the idea is… let’s just say, not unappealing. On the other hand, I’m scared of wrecking what we have. But then again, people drift as life moves on anyway, so part of me thinks — why not have a little fun while we’re here? So here’s my dilemma: do I risk the friendship for some (potentially mind-blowing) benefits, or keep things safe and platonic? Is this a terrible idea, or is it exactly the kind of terrible idea worth trying? HUSBAND HIRED MATE FOR WEDDING PIC- THEY ARE AWFUL AND IM DEVOMy husband and I got married in Italy last year, he booked his friend to be our photographer before discussing it with me. Once he told me I told him that the photography style wasn’t my style and I actually didn’t think he was a good photographer. I asked my husband to cancel his friend but he didn’t, my husband assured me that we would have beautiful photos, anyway after the wedding we got our photos back and I genuinely hate them. Half of our shot list is missing, terrible angles/ shadows/ lighting/editing. I cried for one week straight. It’s been one year and I can’t look at them, I don’t have any printed around the house, none are saved on my phone, none were posted on socials. How do I move on from this and how do I forgive my husband? Those 30 people will never be in Italy together again. We can’t redo them. I’m truly devastated. It’s been one year and I still hate them. Please help, I get so upset when I see someone else’s wedding photos because ours fucking suck. FRIEND WANTS ME TO PLAN 2 BRIDAL EVENTS FOR HER, I THINK IT’S TOO MUCHAITA? I am a maid of honour for my best friend who is getting married in November. This friend is typically unorganised/ leaves things until the last minute. I had to consistently follow up for details to be able to plan the hens. She said she only wants friends invited but wants to do a second hens for the parents. She said she doesn’t want the parents at the hens because she would be worried about the mums having a good time the whole time and not enjoy it herself. For context the mums don’t get along when they drink. We decided to just have the hens without the parents and have no other events. (I said I would not plan two hens as it wouldn’t be as special the second time). Now with two months out from the wedding she has asked me to plan a bridal shower for the mums to attend to have a special day for them. AITA for not putting in the same effort or money into the bridal shower as I am for the hens? PARTNERS MUM SUPER CLINGY AFTER WE MOVED OUTMy partner and I have just moved into our first home and I am definitely sure he is my penguin. The only issue is his mum is super clingy, she’ll constantly come over and want to fold our washing, clean our house and will not stop. At first it was nice but now it’s too much and I feel like she has just completely taken away the chance for us to be adults and actually do stuff for ourselves. I’ve mentioned this to my partner and he doesn’t seem to care as he is an only child and he feels like she is just doing this as a way to stay close to him. Am I overreacting, how do I approach this? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. How are we feeling, lords? No, I'm feeling terrible today. Why? Tell us. Please tell us. How was your morning? Do I sound normal or do I sound like I have a husky voice?

A bit husky. A little bit husky. Are you turned on? Is the real question. Like maybe more so than I was from this swollen, what was swollen last time? I don't know. Swollen tongue or something? Oh, no, you had ulcers. Yeah, ulcers.

I don't mind you a bit husky, to be honest. I feel as though now, and I'm really, really sorry to everyone because I promise, like we've said, I kind of caveat every episode at the moment of like, I'm giving birth in a week and a half. But the thing is, it is so soon, right? Like it's a week and a half away now by the time you're listening to this. I'm in denial. It is so ridiculously soon.

So like, I know it's annoying to hear me complain about pregnancy, but just give me a bit of fucking grace because it's all I've got left is one and a half weeks. But then it's going to be guys that gave birth a week ago. No, because then I'm going to be on maternity leave for a while. So you won't have to hear about it. And then by the time I come back, I'll be great. We also love it because, I mean, it's a story that is about to come, but we love hearing your pregnancy updates because they're not normal pregnancy updates.

Well, this morning I got up, I was running late. I kind of like snooze my alarm, which I never do. like I'm usually up like 10 to 6 I am up I'm in the shower and I'm out the door I did a five minute snooze day too and I never do it either we all did look at us we were all like I feel like I look great oh sorry I've got my bangs in again I feel I'm thriving so okay look at us heap of shit we all look like we're being dragged through the sewer no okay so I hit my alarm anyway I always like order it was my vibe ages ago you know the app hey you which is not sponsored I swear but I always order my like croissant and coffee and I run and pick it up on my way into work so I did

my normal like ran in picked it up got in the car maybe it's all connected do you also remember how I was complaining that I was like I feel like my throat has like it's harder to swallow now I feel like everything's gotten lax because of like the pregnancy hormones I thought that was just an excuse you gave Matt I can't I can't give you any pleasure because my throat is lax I know but I feel like everything is lax like I feel like I choke on food more often I feel like I choke on drink more often like stuff that's just like stuff that was really easy before all feels particularly hard now yeah yeah so i had my croissant and i had my coffee and i was brushing and i was in the car and i'm driving to work i'm going over the harbour bridge like beautiful

idyllic big fucking cruise ship to the right sun is just all come out opera house yeah literally and as i go to put the croissant in my mouth i breathed in at the same time and one wispy flake flew off the croissant and literally lodged itself into my lung like i'm like that's called aspiration and i just had this moment where i was like could not stop coughing but as we know i don't have a pelvic floor anymore and so i didn't just accidentally have a tiny bit of leakage i fully pissed my pants in my car and then had to drive the rest of the way to work with my pants down around my ankles whilst trying to still accelerate and brake and all i'm imagining now was going under all of the mobile phone lights like because they take a photo of every single

person i was like you just put your pants at your ankles and then just played on and he's the same pants yeah i'm wearing them on our beautiful couch and kisha you have to interview after this which i'm not in it and you're sitting in this seat you have to sit in laura's pit i need to get one of those puppy like blanket things that's plastic on one side m kerry's coming in she can sit here instead oh don't tell us she'll be like fuck you guys we would never do that and I just feel miserable so it was a proper not a little dribble it was a proper week yeah and then I came in lucky it was raining so as I walked into work I just kind of like I didn't even put my umbrella up I was like if I'm wet everywhere no one's gonna know so I walked into work rolled

around the gutter for a while so then I walked into work Vlad had the beautiful security guard who works here I was like hi Vlad it's been a morning and he was yourself again he was standing at the door to let me in the automated doors and I was like no I have to go to the bathroom first and he's like oh only a week and a half now but yeah sure is Vlad anyway went into the bathroom I just stand there with a hair dryer trying to dry my pants it's really humbling being in your underwear fully just like drying your pants under a hand dryer I did it's funny because I I have a problem with my smell since COVID and I walked in here and I was like, something's funky.

I was like, who pissed themselves? Laura? It's me. The problem is me. It is humbling, but I think that there are at least 35 women that are listening right now that have wet themselves today also in their pregnancy. Maybe some

not in their pregnancy. So I think not all heroes wear capes. You're helping people feel less alone. Thank you. That's what I said. We're here to do God's work. I should stop saying that. Do you know what? He contacted me several times this pregnancy being like would you like to be an ambassador and i keep saying no because i was like i just don't know if i can get on my social media being hey guys laura 20 well they may as well sponsor the podcast we talk about it every week anyway

i'm a bit well yeah i should really charge them for that they just got that promo for free yeah let's cut out the beep let's not name the brand and if anyone like the abc has to be non-brand specific yeah literally so this uh incontinence pad contacted me they wanted to give me a discount goat fuel i think we laugh but i think people would use it i do like everyone that's in a in pregnancy it happens to everyone it doesn't i'm just trying to make it feel better i think it does i think it does it really does and like i know i know there's gonna be a lot of people who messaged me who were like like it doesn't have to be like that blah blah blah it honestly it'll be fine once the baby's out there's so much pressure in my pelvis right now like i don't know

what's ahead what's a what what's going on so you all dried up over there now uh no not quite yeah because usually you sit with your legs open but you're very cross tightly crossed today i do pack a spare pair of underwear in my bag so the wee underwear is in my bag and i have new undies on maybe you need to start packing some extra pants true let's get into vibes and unsubscribes okay my vibe this week is a documentary on disney plus it's called stalking samantha 13 years of terror uh you guys might have seen this going around recently not just online but a lot of people have been writing about it and speaking about it off the back of it just coming out. It's three episodes and it's about a young girl back in 2011 who met a guy. Her name was Samantha,

obviously. It's called Stalking Samantha. She met a guy called Christopher. She felt sorry for him. He was a little bit weird. She was just nice to him. That's it, you know, essentially at the end of the day, which I think most people are, right? You see someone, you meet in a group, they're a bit awkward, you smile, whatever. But what happened off the back of that was literally 13 years of stalking like oh it's so intense and you guys might have heard about a story anyway on the news over the years but the stalking changed a lot over the time period so it was like very forward and everyone all her friends knew he was turning up everywhere he'd put trackers in a car and then she actually ended up getting like a restraining order against him and he disappeared

for the restraining order nothing turns out he was still following her in the background but like she just felt like time had moved on. And then the day that it was up, he was back. Oh, wow. And I don't want to give too much away, but I will tell you a little bit. He does end up kidnapping her. He goes into a house and kidnaps her. And she had tried to get another restraining order and they had said no. And it was like two weeks later off the back of that, that this had happened. And she just sits down and talks through her story about what happened and what the experience was like. Because he, again, I don't want to give too much away, but he went to so

much it wasn't a normal kidnapping like he had premeditated prepared a place to put her and it's truly horrific at what happened to her life over 13 years off the back of a smile to somebody and being nice to somebody I want you guys to watch it so we can unpack it a bit more and talk about it but I don't want to give too much away at the same time is it one episode is it multiple episodes okay I watched it in one night I just sat down and watched it over maybe like two hours yeah it's so interesting you said this was 2011 was it yes yeah 2011 I think we would like to think that a lot of things have changed but you guys did two episodes I think it was last year with Nicole Madigan and then with someone that we kept anonymous about stalking a lot more recently

and that was off the back of Baby Reindeer which obviously everybody watched it's just crazy to me how much evidence there can be of these things and how little police and that kind of thing are able to intervene based off of laws and and like I don't know I would like to think that it had changed a lot more since that time but it doesn't appear as though it's changed much but it's not Even from that time as in 2011, that takes her, this only happened like a year ago because it was 13 years of it and this is how it ended, you know, like it ended in the kidnapping after all of that time.

After 13 years worth of being harassed and yeah, wow. Yeah, so it's only in the last two to three years and obviously it's gone to court and they talk about that in the documentary as well. And also her having to make a decision on the punishment in a way because there's, you know, the court system is different over there but you can either make the choice of putting him behind bars for a lesser sentence because he was obviously denying everything

or making the choice to go and fight it in a bigger criminal case but not being sure of what the outcome would be. So trying to weigh up what, you know, as somebody that's gone through something horrific, you know, do I risk trying to actually get the justice I deserve but I don't know what's going to happen off the back of that. Yeah, it was really interesting. Fascinating.

And Keish, what's your vibe? My vibe this week is probably going to be not much of a surprise to anyone it's the most recent season of Australian Survivor which is Oz versus World so they have got some of the best and biggest players over Survivor from the last two decades from across the world so it started with a team of I think there was six and six don't quote me but basically half of the players were Australian Survivor players and they were the ones that were quite notorious from their seasons you know we had uh David who is going to be the new host this was the last season that JLP was hosting. There were people like Shani, like Kirby, like Luke Toki, like Janine Alice for who

owns Boost Juice. So these people that really made big marks on their own seasons, or some of them have played a couple of times. And then they played against these people who have just dominated mostly the American, but there was ones from like Finland and all of these other different survivors around the world, but they were all these amazing survivor players. And it was a really short season there's only 10 episodes so it was just so fast-paced you've also got people who are some of them were playing for the fifth time and so they know how to make moves on each other and they know not to trust a single person I found it so wildly entertaining Ness our video editor we have been talking about this and texting each other about every single episode and then the very last episode

was one of the best episodes I've ever watched of any reality TV program. It was just so fast. It wrapped up so quickly that I was like, wait, what the hell? This isn't over now? That's why I kind of, I haven't gotten into it as much as I do normal Survivor. Like I really love Survivor as well. And I kind of, firstly, I thought the last season of Australian Survivor had the best plays from Miles. Like Miles was fucking amazing. The way he came back so many times from the literal bottom of the barrel, the jungle rat, and then ended up winning it. I kind of, I don't know, maybe I expected more from it because it was supposed to be the best.

So my expectations were high. I think this is your second vibe of Survivor. You know that? Keisha also gets a kickback from Survivor. She gets a 20% discount code from the free streaming service. How do you feel? I got asked to do Survivor. Why did you do it?

Are you upset that I said no? Yes. When did you get asked to do it? I think it was last year or this season, yeah. Last season, yeah. It's too, it was too hard for our work. Like it's too much time away. It was too, it's too much.

I am gobsmacked. But you know, you were sitting next to, and I hope you utilize this. We all went to dinner last week and the girl you were sitting next to, Shannon, was on Survivor. I hope you like doubled down and got all. She's fantastic. Anyway, sorry, I won't keep banging on about Survivor, but essentially this season, I thought it was so punchy.

You know, there wasn't like extended episodes of stuff that you didn't really need. There was absolutely no fluff. It's just 10 episodes. It's all available for free on Tenplay so you can watch it if you want to get a little taste test of some of the people from around the world that have played on Survivor. And some of these people have also played on all these other shows like Traders, like Deal or No Deal Ireland. You would never want to date one of these people, that's for sure.

You'd be like, I don't believe anything you say. I also think that, and I saw it this season, particularly with Poverty, they must have an element of just being suspicious in their everyday life. Like you can just tell that they're not quite trusting of anything or anyone. Well, you know Pia Miranda? So she won quite a few seasons ago. I did Dancing with the Stars with her and she said

she would never have done it again. She said she left that show traumatised and that it took her quite a long time to get back into normal life and not be suspicious of her husband or of her children or of people in her immediate network. She said she was properly, she was on high alert and she was properly traumatised by doing the show. Yeah, I don't know.

I just maybe Brittany 10 years ago or five years ago, but now I'm too old and I just want to trust people. I'm like, I want to eat nice food and have a nap. I want to sleep inside. I don't have a TV show, so I have a product. It is a basic bitch product. It's incontinence pads. I am someone who gets the fucking driest feet.

It was my New Year's resolution this year that I was like, I'm not going to have dry heels. and then I let that go the second I got pregnant because I can barely see my feet anymore. You know, this is an annual turnaround. Every year you're like, I hate my feet. You get a foot mask and then it comes back in the next year. Didn't you have that thing that you bathe your feet in

and it like peels them off? I did it when you guys were there but they were out of date and they didn't work. Yeah, I tried that. So I got sucked into another one. I tried that chemical foot peel thing and it just did not work. No, I bought this. So like I've, you know, you get bloody foot files

and foot shavers and all that sort of shit. And anyway, firstly, I find that they don't last very long because usually like normal filers, they file down and then they're smooth and you've got to go buy another one. It's from Cheeky Glow Glass and it is a tempered glass foot filer. So it can't wear out. It doesn't wear down. I'm sorry, I just can't believe you're buying me a foot filer

for your dead fucking skin. I have the strongest stomach and nothing makes me feel queasier than grading a foot. Yeah. I don't know how you're reaching your feet right now. I do it in the shower. and I like – On all fours?

I can still lift a leg. No, I can lift a leg. I can't see my vagina, but I can lift a leg. Like a dog cocking you to the side? No, I'm not on all fours. How on earth would I do it if I was on all fours? We know how Keisha gets her butt laser. She loves it.

Keisha's just laying on her back with all fours up. I'm not doing that either. I don't want to – I don't know if this is a brag. Maybe it is. I've never had to file my feet. They're quite soft. What are you doing with yours? All right, foot privilege.

I guess, like, what are you doing with yours? So apparently if you don't wear enclosed shoes, you're way more inclined to get cracked heels and stuff. So if you wear socks and shoes on the reg. Yeah, it's the first time I've worn enclosed shoes. You guys know I'm always in flats. But, like, I don't know, maybe I don't walk outside enough without shoes on.

Potentially. Yeah. I don't wear enclosed shoes ever. So I'm always in slides and I always have dry feet and Matt thinks I look like a 90-year-old lady. And I'm going to recommend a foot filer for everybody else who won't be shamed for having dry feet. Thanks, Brittany Hockley.

I'm not shaming you. I'm just trying to understand. I don't know. I just have never had to file my feet ever because mine are so luscious and beautiful. No, I don't have beautiful feet at all. I just don't have cracked, dry heels. They're more beautiful than mine, baby. All right, let's get into the questions.

Question number one. Do I risk the friendship for some friends with benefits? Make sure you get that on YouTube. No, that was just for you. Cut that out. Britt just deep-throated herself. Well, not myself. I don't know.

I'm doing Marilyn Manson-er. five years ago i met a man at work and the chemistry was insane like sparks flying butterflies this is my future husband vibes wow that's a big call that's just chemistry guys that's it's not real that's not your future husband that's a red flag we ended up dating exclusively but i freaked out got cold feet and ran straight back into the arms of my toxic ex rookie mistake i know we cut contact for about a year i moved interstate and life just went on then at the end of 2023 he unblocked me on socials and slid back into my life. And honestly, it's been like no time has passed. We're best friends. He's my ride or die, my confidant. But the elephant in the room is that

the attraction never actually went away. It's not just platonic and we both know there's more. Here's where it gets extra spicy. I love her narration. I recently told him I'm demisexual and haven't had sex in over a year his response he basically volunteered as tribute to help me get back in the game on one hand i trust him more than anyone and the idea is let's just say not unappealing on the other hand i'm scared of wrecking what we have but then again people drift as life moves on anyway so part of me thinks hey why not have a little fun while we're here so here's the dilemma girls do i risk the friendship for some potentially mind-blowing benefits or do i keep things safe and platonic is it a terrible idea or is it exactly the kind

of terrible idea worth trying oh i mean it's not i feel different about this now i like how she writes i think she should write for us yeah okay i life just moves on it truly does life drifts anyway so fuck him and run i think from this situation the fact that you weren't a friendship in the start like obviously there's more there you guys weren't friends you met you were boning and then you ran away to be with your ex like you you dated this guy exclusively and then he's come back into your life as a friend and now he's offering to fuck you i think you guys know what as a friend yeah i think let me help you as a friend i think you guys know what this is it's fine have sex with him it doesn't work out he won't be in your life again like is he is he so

deeply important as a friend that you cannot live your life without him as a platonic friend and if that's the case and you're very honest with yourself and you're like look there's actually nothing there except for this like platonic need to have him in my life then I'd be like yeah it'd be weird probably to have sex with him but if you're like actually if I'm honest with myself if I got into a long-term relationship this probably would be a dangerous friendship to have on the side anyway then fuck him and figure it out because it's not worth waiting yes and so normally what I would say here is right normally I would say there's plenty of fish in the sea go fuck them keep your friendship because friendships are rare but you're a

demisexual and if you don't know what demisexual is demisexual are people that can only have an attraction to somebody after like an intense emotional bond or connection so like i guess it's not easy for you to just go out and have a one-night stand or something you're not going to enjoy it totally so you can't do that so in this situation hands down have the sex i would be 100 going to pound town not pound town because you might get a block come down but go and just like have whatever kind of sex you want if it doesn't work out like I don't know maybe you guys are going to fall in love a couple of years ago when you met you said he was like future husband vibes so maybe it's going to progress into something more maybe it's not helping you

get back in the game maybe it's actually helping lock down the game totally and I also I also think he's testing the waters by saying that like if you say oh I'm demisexual I'm only attracted to people who have a really strong emotional bond with and he's like cool we could have sex what What do you think he's saying? He's saying. What are you doing? Why are you talking like that? What do you think, man?

What do you think? He's checking. He's checking. He's checking to see if you have an emotional bond with him. It might not be that deep. He might just want to have sex as well. Because he might have an emotional bond with you. He might.

But men are also simple creatures. I think I wouldn't be overthinking this one. You guys have a connection. You know each other. You've been together. You've also just been friends. So you've done it all. I would just be doing it.

And whatever's going to happen, it's going to happen. You're going to be like, well, not for me. and you're going to go back to the friendship, you're going to say, well, not for me and there's no friendship or you're going to lock it down and get married. And I think just don't go back to a toxic ex after this one. That's one lesson that should be learned from all of this. Yeah. I'm assuming he's gone, the ex. She didn't actually say it. I hope you're not in the relationship with the ex still because that's different. Well, she's not in sex for a year, so I guess not. All right. Question number two. My husband hired his mate for wedding pictures

and they are actually awful and I'm devastated. Oh, it's really shit. My husband and I got married in Italy last year he booked his friend to be our photographer before discussing it with me once he told me I told him that the photography style just wasn't my style and I actually didn't really think he was a good photographer I asked my husband to cancel his friend but he didn't my husband assured me that we would have beautiful photos anyway after the wedding we got our photos back and I genuinely hate them half of our shot list is missing there are terrible angles shadows lighting the editing is awful I cried for an entire week straight it's been one year and I still can't look at our photos I don't have any printed around the house none are saved on my

phone none were posted on social media how do I move on from this and how do I forgive my husband those 30 people will never be in Italy together again we can't redo this I'm just truly devastated about it it's been one year and I still hate them please help I get so upset when I see someone else's wedding photos because ours fucking suck okay unpopular opinion firstly i'm sorry that that really sucks and i think people underestimate how much a photography style is important like every photographer has a style and specifically for wedding photos like you need to look at and the style isn't just how they shoot the style is also how they edit and sometimes it's just amateur because they don't have the experience yet totally and this is your i mean your husband's

friend could be a great photographer, but also it could just be someone that likes to dabble in photos. You don't know. Unpopular opinion, maybe. If you cannot even look at your wedding photos, I would just go and Photoshop them. I would get all the raw photos. So get them from him unedited. Just be like, Hey, don't do anything. Just send me what you took. Hopefully they're high res. Hopefully he knows how to shoot just like standard anyway with the right camera. And then I would go and find a photographer that you love. You're going to have to pay them, But I would explain the situation and say, can you edit these? Like, what can you do to save these?

And just tell her or him, I cannot look at these photos. Like, is there something that you can do? Because I can guarantee you somebody out there will be able to work some magic on them to some extent. Yeah, I agree. Because it's not worth not being able to, like having that feeling about your wedding. Like when you can't, I don't know if you guys follow me. I've barely posted anything about my wedding, but that was a joke.

I've posted every single day. I post, I'm still posting. I'm not done yet. Um, but you want to be able to be filled with joy and love. And I look at my photos and not to rub it in, but like, I'm like, oh, I just love that moment. And it takes me back somewhere. And I hate that you can't go back there, but I do think that you can.

So that's what I would say. I would say, send me the raw photos, please. Don't tell him why. Say you want to make your own photo book, whatever. And then go to a professional. It's not a slap in the face to him. It's not rude. You don't even have to tell him who cares, but you deserve that.

It is a slap in the face to him, which is okay. the thing is he's your husband's friend if you say I want all of the raw photos unedited even if he does take that as like an artistic criticism on his abilities at the end of the day you've sat on these photos for a year you're not happy with them and you want to try and like look for an alternate option I think that that's acceptable it's okay to say like I have an idea of something I want to do with the photos can you send them to me the only thing though you might find tricky is there aren't many photographers who want to work and do editing on someone else's photography. So you might find it really hard because you could spend all this time on Instagram shortlisting all

these photographers whose style you like. And then when you contact them, they're going to be like, I'm not editing someone else's shit photos. I think you're going to probably, that's going to be your biggest hurdle to overcome. But there are also loads of photo editing companies online and retouching companies rather than going through a specific photographer so you could kind of go through those avenues as well like we use them for tony may a lot for like deep-etched products etc but you could definitely find those types of services can i ask you guys because i'm the only one here who hasn't been married is it normal when you get your wedding photos for them to all be edited because i've actually wondered this there's obviously like fashions and styles that kind of

move throughout the decades and I kind of like I look back on some of for my example my brother and sister-in-law's photos they were taken like 10 years ago and I've wondered whether they might like a different style in the future so do you get the raws so that they can be edited as well so what is normal is you usually do your selects so like selects will normally be on unedited photos so you choose your selects and then a photographer will have certain filters or styles or presets that they use, which they apply, and they might do that in Capture or they might do that in Lightroom, whatever it is that the apps that they use, and they will apply that across all of the images.

So say you might get 100 images or 20. It depends on the package you purchase. You basically pay for how many edited pictures you get. But they don't do things like, unless you specifically ask them, they're not like Photoshopping your face. They're not like clearing up your pimples and clearing up. People could. There's people out there that will do that,

but it's not generally included. that stuff is usually like all additional it's usually just like a nice color sweep that is done in order for everything to look consistent and feel like it lives within the same family yeah color balance so it's not normal for you to also get like an sd card with the raws on it some some people do like we got yeah we got all of our raws as well we got all of the video raws and all of the unedited pictures as well but we also got like the ones that were edited in black and white and so like it depends on the photographer everyone is different it depends on how much you paid depends on what the package is it's really how long is a piece of string I think the more you

pay the more freedom you usually have to ask for what it is that you want yeah and in this instance it's your friend so like I feel like you should be able to ask for whatever it is that you want I think it's probably a high chance you got them unedited I think she probably just sent them to you whilst I agree with you Laura it's like it might be not super easy to just go and contact a photographer and get them to edit it but if you're paying somebody you will find somebody there is 100% somebody online or a company that will do it. And it might not be a really niche photographer that's going to do it. It might just be a company, but without doubt, someone can do this. Like we just sent Katy Perry to the moon. Someone can edit your photos to make you look.

Life Uncut did actually. I'm not sure if you were aware of that, but we specifically sent Katy Perry to the moon. We did. We did. The thing that sucks is we're just focusing on the editing, right? And I guess my brain is immediately thinking about maybe the photos of you and your husband specifically or bridal parties but at the end of the day you are also unhappy with like the way he has shot your family you've said your friends and family never going to be there again and I understand that but they might still be able to be saved like the right company they can work their magic I know you said there's shadows and there's all of this stuff yeah you can photoshop anyone in and out you can take shadows you can add if you weren't happy with your aisle

add an aisle like get them to go all out you know there's so much you can do but you deserve to look back at that time and be happy not to have not even posted like one thing or be able to physically look at them yeah and I think that there's a whole alternate part of this like look the wedding photos aside are you upset with your partner you know you've been married for a year and it's still something you've held on to in your relationship that you feel as though he either didn't listen to you or he prioritized his friend's feelings over yours I think that this is one of those circumstances as well where you've probably realized oh I actually probably should have been more vocal this was really important to me he went ahead and booked something I wasn't okay

with and I mean you trusted that it was going to turn out okay and it didn't and I feel like that this is one of those lessons in a moment where if something is really important to you I would dare say you cared about the outcome of those photos more than he does the photography was more important to you and often that is the case when it comes to a wedding that the bride cares more about the aesthetic outcome than the groom does in which case take control of the things that are important to you and I think like I'm not blaming you for it by any means but I'm saying like looking at similar situations that might crop up in the future if you're like actually this matters to me way more than it matters to you so I'm going to take control of this you will troubleshoot this

shit happening in your relationship before it ever transpires yeah but I also I agree and I also get it though like she did ask her husband to cancel it but she obviously has felt like he's put her in a difficult position totally because he's like look I've already asked him he's my friend it's going to be beautiful at the end of the day you trust your future husband for him to be like trust me they're going to be beautiful which is what he said there's a part of you that probably goes okay do you know what i'll trust you you know which in hindsight it's a wonderful thing go with your gut you know you should have taken control but there's nothing you can do about it now and there really is like the only other thing you can do is like you have to at some point move past it you have

to you have to you can't spend the next 10 years of your life being like my wedding day was ruined because i don't have photos to be fair i would say that there are so many people who have things outcomes from their wedding that they're not happy with or that are disappointed with we don't have a video of our first dance which we spent weeks learning like weeks and weeks matt and i went to fucking dance classes to learn this silly first dance you both did dancing with the stars too and the video sorry the photographer stood in front of the fucking camera and blocked I have a video that goes for three minutes of the cameraman's back. That's my first dance video, not a single video of it.

And you know what the annoying thing is? People don't film that for you because you got a photographer. Do you know what was annoying is that we paid so much fucking money and it was one of my main mandatories was to have our first dance video. We don't have it. This was actually so nice. I haven't told you this yet. But for my first dance, I obviously filmed it.

I will actually post that. I keep forgetting and whatever life's busy but I know people want to see it I will post it but like a couple of days after the wedding Matt messaged me videos of the full first dance and of mine and he said hey mate I know you probably got it from your photographer and whatever else he's like but I couldn't risk what happened to you happening to us he's like we don't have a first dance and he sent it to me off his iPhone and I was like that's really traumatized the whole thing yeah Well, it's just, you know, it was super disappointing. Obviously it wasn't Matt's fault.

It was the people who we'd contracted's fault. But at the end of the day, their response was kind of like, unfortunately stuff happens. And I was like, well. That's bullshit. No, but it does happen. Like you can't change the past. They made a mistake.

It's human error. Like what do you do? Well, you get a discount. Yeah, that didn't happen. But anyway, no, look, I mean, like I guess the thing is, is like you're not on your own. there are a lot of people who have small parts of their wedding that they're disappointed by, but don't let it overshadow everything about how amazing that day was. Like the memories of that

day are incredible. I still know that my first dance with Matt was incredible. And yes, it's unfortunate. I don't get to ever watch it back and see it in any format ever, but like, you know, it is what it is. I can tell you that it was a beautiful dance. Thanks Britt. And everyone there loved it. It was very fun. I also had a pizza for my wedding cake. So let's not forget that. I was with three friends last night who all hated their wedding photos. Some of them were like, we're going to do like a vow renewal just so that we can get different photos that we actually want. Wow.

But I think it's common. That's actually a good idea. Maybe you guys can do it. I know it sucks and it costs money and you shouldn't have to, but maybe you can do like an anniversary shoot where it's like you get a dress or whatever it is. You hire a photographer. It's not the same, but you know, it might be a meet in the middle and your husband has to pay for it.

Okay. So next question. My friend wants me to plan two bridal events for her. I think it's too much. Am I the asshole? I am a maid of honor for my best friend who is getting married in November. This friend is typically disorganized, leaves things until the last minute. I had to constantly follow up for details to be able to plan her hens.

She said she only wants friends invited but wants to do a second hens for the parents. She said she doesn't want the parents at the hens because she'd be worried about the mums having a good time the whole time and not enjoying it herself like so she's saying she's going to be worried about the parents if they're there you know for context the mums don't get along when they drink oh yeah you can't do that then you can't have them there well just don't drink and behave yourself for your daughter i don't know i don't think that's hard but we decided to just have the hens without the parents and no other events i said i would not be planning two hens for her as it wouldn't be as special the second time now with two months out from the wedding

she has asked me to plan the bridal shower so that the mums can attend so that they also get to have a special day for them because they missed out on the hens party. Am I the arsehole for not putting in the same effort or money into the bridal shower as I am for the hens? No, no, it's fine. Is a bridal shower a thing? I've never heard of a bridal shower.

What do you shower them with? And, like, I get a baby shower because you need specific things, but what do you need for a bridal shower? The one I went to and she had a separate hens and I went to both the bridal shower had the mums the aunties all that kind of actually come to think of it some of them were at the hens as well but it was a lot more low-key it was more like high tea vibes so it was like an afternoon she did get some gifts from like the older people I think it was more so so that the older people felt included and then the hens was meant to be like the younger

go out get drunk kind of vibe i'm not into it i think too too greedy i think that's a lot yeah look i mean if you want to have a bridal shower though i think you just organize a dinner or a lunch or something yeah with those people just book a restaurant i don't think you need to go all out in decorating you also just reuse the decorations you had for the hands bring out the penis straws a second time around also my mom came to my hands and she loved it she was the one partied the latest yeah i was like mom we're going home i understand though I understand when some people are like, okay, I can't have everyone together or it doesn't quite work. Like I do, I get the premise of it, but I don't think that the responsibility should just

be lumped onto the main bridesmaid or like the maid of honor to then pay for everything a second time around and organize all the finances. Cause you know, whenever you organize this sort of shit, you are always left with some sum of money that has not been paid up to date. There is always incidentals that as the maid of honor or as the bridesmaids, you end up absorbing. yeah in that bridal shower person's defense her mom had it at her house at the mom's house and her mom catered the whole thing and I think it was so that her nan and that kind of thing could come and the mom's friends because they'd been you know they'd been involved in her life for her whole life that's different so it wasn't a financial cost to go to the bridal shower so I

I do think and like I mean my little understanding of it is like bridesmaids organize your friends hence parties if you're gonna have a bridal shower I actually think the mom should be helping to organize that they should be involved in it it's not the bridesmaids jobs to organize a party for the mums like that's weird so yeah I would say I think it's okay book a lunch but also I would be engaging the mums and be saying you know we organized the hens party and like it would be great to have you guys organize this or have some sort of contribution since this is for you not for them yeah I just think it's a lot I think we overdo it and I also think having like hens and bridal showers and all of these things I think they're just like from a precedence that

was set many many many years ago and I just don't think we need them now like I don't know weddings are too expensive these days anyway yeah for a lot of people and then you throw in bridal like weekends away and all of a sudden gone are the days of going to a hens where you have a lunch it's like all of a sudden it's a three-day event and it's it really adds up for people then they go to pay for the wedding and then they're paying for it adds up and I'm not saying people shouldn't do it like you know I had a hand I think it's fine I just think we need to understand the cost of these things for people yeah I do and I also think we have to be mindful of the expectation around gifting yeah because if you have an engagement party and then there's gifting at

the engagement party and then you have a bridal shower and there's gifting at the bridal shower and then you're having a wedding and there's gifting at the wedding like that to me is a lot of expectation on your friends and I think it depends how financially secure your friends and your entire friendship group and everything is like that seems to me like a lot even engagement presence and engagement parties I'm still a little bit like it's nice to give a gift but I actually don't expect that everyone gives a gift for an engagement party like if I we didn't have one so I didn't have an engagement party either but I think if you have it I wouldn't expect gifts from everyone who comes I think it's also a big time expectation like asking to have multiple weekends

where you block out you know x amount of time and I actually will Laura this is probably a little bit of a toot Tony Mays horn I have found the perfect bridal shower gift it's one I don't know what it's called it's on Tony Mays website it's a little ring and it's got a little blue stone in it so you can get two of them there's a light blue and there's a dark blue and it can be something new and something blue for the bride on her wedding day is it the birthstone rings or is it okay right because yeah the little aquamarine one yes cute I love that segue while we're sitting in that live on cart 20 no but while we're sitting in that it's not very expensive and it's something that I've bought for a couple of bridal showers because I've been like oh this is connected to

the wedding and it's a nice gift but it hasn't put me at hundreds and hundreds of dollars yeah definitely Laura made my earrings for my wedding we adapted something and it's it's just its own standalone earring she doesn't sell them but you should sell them and call them the Britney because I've had a lot of people ask about them and I've wanted something named after me for quite a while is this true you were trying to like edge to get that ring named after you I saw on social media we run this competition where it was like name the ring and Britney was like for fuck's sake just call it the Brittany already. What's a girl got to fucking do? Get a piece of jewelry named after her. No, but I have had people ask me about it. So look, do what you want, Laura, but I think

there is a real sales avenue there. Did you lose them like straight after the wedding? Did you find them again? Great. I love that. Do you know what I did? And I'm a sucker for this. I'm a sucker for putting something in such a safe place that I don't remember the safe place. They're so safe. I can't find them again. So I didn't lose them. I just safetied them. I unsafed them. I do the Exact same thing. No, you just leave them on the roof of your car. No, but then I will intentionally put things in super safe places and I have no idea where they are.

Anyway. All right, next question. Last question. My partner and I have just moved into our first home and I am definitely sure he is my penguin. The only issue is his mom is a super clinger. She'll constantly come over. Not a clinger, super clinger.

She's a super clinger. She'll constantly come over and want to fold our washing, clean our house, and she just won't stop. Sorry, what's the problem? I know, I'm like, I love her. Send her to my house. Come to me. At first it was nice, but now it's just too much.

And I feel like she has just completely taken away the chance for us to be adults and actually do stuff for ourselves. I've mentioned this to my partner and he doesn't seem to care as he is an only child and he feels like she's just doing this as a way to stay close to him. Am I overreacting? How do I approach this? Hundy, I can see what's happening here. I'm going to assume you are early 20s.

you've said it's your first time you've just moved in together you've moved out of the home and stuff and i 100 know what it's like to want your independence you are going to have a change of heart in a year like it sounds cute to do your own washing and cleaning for a little while and like be your own person you are going to be beg borrowing and stealing no i disagree sorry if there is one person that would offer to come to my house and say hey britney just i just want to come and clean for you I want to do your washing I'd be like what you move in with me like yes I yes a hundred percent I disagree but that is literally what happened with my mother-in-law and I was like come and stay and never leave me you're like I disagree you're like cool I've got

a nanny cook and cleaner for a really long time when we first like told Ellie to come down and live with us we were talking about putting a granny flat in the backyard because we had the space for it we're not doing that now because we can't afford it and Ellie's still like do you I reckon I'm ever going to get that granny flat because she's so like, why the fuck am I stuck in this house with you bunch of pigs? You said like you can live with us but have your own space. Yeah, your own space. And you're like, mwaha, she's locked in her room.

And I was like, do some more washing. Oh, we love you, Ellie. No, look, I feel differently for a couple of reasons. I mean, I'm obviously joking too, but no. Not really. No, I get what you're saying. I validate you, but I think you will change mine. No, I agree.

It's different also when you potentially when you have kids and like having extra helping hands, et cetera, et cetera. But I understand that it is very intrusive to have someone just come into your space and feel as though they are entitled to do the washing, do the cleaning, do all the things, because it depends. You've got to relinquish a lot of control to be fine with that type of thing. And I would say at the very, very start when Ellie moved in, we never ever had any friction, but there was definitely a moment where I realized, oh this is only gonna work if i stop caring like this will only work and be really harmonious in this household if i go if you want to do the washing do the washing i'm not i'm not fighting

you on how the washing's done you need to relax a little bit and let them do their thing yeah because sometimes especially with like the older generation i would say like our parents generation they have a really specific way of the way that they like it to be done i don't care that much i'll shove the shit in the washing machine and put it on and sometimes guess what i put towels in with t-shirts who cares I put blacks with white sometimes but you I live on the edge that would send Ellie into out of space she would fucking Katy Perry her way out of this world but she honestly like she can't handle that and I can't handle the fact that she cares that much about something I don't care about so the problem is with that situation is like I've realized okay

it's important to her that it's done in a certain way it's not important to me so I'm gonna walk away from it and not care and I'll just go and do something else I yeah and as much as I would say that I would love someone to come and do that I would still love someone to come and do that on my terms like have they told me when they're coming how do I know it's a structured you know if they're just if you're coming in from work and someone's in your house and they're like I know it's not someone it's your mother-in-law but like if your mother-in-law's in your house and she's just folding your undies and stuff that's different because you're like bro come on it's intrusive yeah give me some space but if she's just saying hey what if I pop over on Friday and clean

everything for you I'd be like hallelujah yeah the only thing though is and it's a very important part that we haven't touched on is you are in a relationship with a man who should be able to take care of himself and if he hasn't been able to show that he has the capacity to maintain a household to clean for himself to take care of himself because he constantly reverts to you know mum does it mum does this like that's going to be something that is going to be a really massive issue in your relationship later on. And I think it's different if it's mom's coming to help and you guys are all okay with it. But if he's cool with it because it means he gets out of doing anything and having any parental or like, you know, adult responsibilities, that is a pretty

big ick for me. And I think all it's doing is reinforcing a behavior that will not be corrected as he gets older. Like if anything, you're going to end up being the person that does fucking everything for him because he's now in his twenties and he lives at a home, but his mom still comes over in a falsies undies yeah there is no bigger eek than a man that can't look after themselves if that's if that is what it is if he's a grown man that's moved out and he doesn't know how to do it but also i mean i'm one for saying like let's not judge people's parenting styles but that to me is like you are enabling your child to not be an adult he is a grown fucking man in his mid-20s and you are washing his clothes for him that type of enabling is for me like that's an

unhealthy relationship between parent and child and all that's doing is stopping them from being able to like function as a fully fledged adult have proper relationships be you know someone who you know assuming that they're heterosexual who a woman would want to be in a relationship with like you're causing them so many problems down the track and these these men are going to be like but i don't understand why my mom did it for my dad my mom did it for me and it's like it just reinforces this real shitty behavior so that would be my that would be my biggest red flag about the whole situation and i actually think the way that you deal with this is if it's upsetting you that much that you get to a point where you don't feel comfortable in your own home because your mother

in law has totally over inserted herself. I think you do have to have a conversation and you do have to explain to your partner. I love your mom visiting. I have a great relationship with her, but it is going to, it's going to damage our relationship that I feel as though there's no respect for my autonomy in this space. I want to do my own washing. I want you to do some of your own washing because we are adults and this is our home. It's not your mom's home. It's always tricky though those conversations because at the end of the day someone's going to get upset and the mom you know like the mom's going to be like feel like oh maybe she accepts it completely she's still going to be like oh i didn't know and i feel bad well she doesn't have to be it depends on how

he manages it all he has to say is his mom please you don't have to come and do our washing like we want to do that ourselves yeah you know if you want to come over bring us a meal on a wednesday night a home-cooked meal that's great like you know but don't do our washing for us like you know sarah wants us to do it and i don't yeah she just wants to do her washing and like you know she's really specific about it like and i you know let's just not i don't know i think it can be handled in a way where a mom doesn't need to be offended by that like if she gets offended by it then that's like a her shit to deal with anyway you're fucking brutal am i yeah sometimes you are moms have feelings too put your hang your clothes out for mom no that is it for us guys if you have

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