Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Hold my eye contact so I can Climax

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

It's Therapy Thursday and in today’s session we are answering your deep, dark and burning questions:My boyfriend broke up with me because I told (please keep up) his ex’s partner that she was trying to cheat on him. Who’s in the wrong here?How much should be shared with your partner? When we say “please keep this to yourself,” is their partner an exception?Is it normal to fantasise and close my eyes while I’m having sex with my partner?If you have a question for Ask Uncut follow us @LIFEUNCUTPODCAST and slide on into the old DM's!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany and this is Thursday. Happy Thursday guys. You've made it almost through the week. This is our ask uncut date is where you write in your questions your biggest problems your littlest problems your very questionable problems and we try our best to answer them we're not overly qualified but one thing we are is very passionate um i would say that we're not qualified at all but we have a lot of enthusiasm and we've lived and seen a lot of things in our lifetime and all of our heartfelt advice comes from life experience lots of it but anyway one thing i know you didn't do last night and i say last night because we're recording this on wednesday guys so don't

worry I did it on the right night. Sex? Did you have sex last night? No I didn't. What is this like the first time since you've been over there that you haven't had sex? Brittany on her sex marathon around the world. Look it is probably the only exercise I've been doing actually since I've been here. Meant to be very very good for you sexercise I wouldn't know but apparently it's a good way to get some cardio in there. Sex aerobics. What didn't you do last night? Last night so Tuesday night I did the census and let's all be real if you sat down and did the census for your household it took a lot of time and it didn't make a whole lot of census oh that was one of your finest puns I'll take that so you've done the census I didn't even know that there was a census

is that bad on my behalf yeah look I'm actually fearful of saying that I didn't even know that we were supposed to do a census for the fear of sounding like an absolute idiot but I got a phone call from my sister at 10 p.m. last night saying, hey, have you done the census? And I was like, I'm sorry, what? I didn't even know that this was a thing we were supposed to do this year. No, apparently it had been well advertised across free-to-air TV, but this is another, this is another query and quandary of the modern era. And that is that so many people don't actually watch free-to-air TV anymore. So I hadn't seen it on the news. I mean, I'd been watching the news, to be honest, I've been kind of giving the news a bit of a wide berth for the last week and

a half I'm so so fucking sick of COVID updates and hearing what's happening so I've just been getting like the top line COVID restrictions each day and I've been kind of avoiding the news and then yeah I had no idea but one thing that is absolutely certain the person who doesn't check their mail for like two months at a time which is me and Matt should not be doing a census Australia shouldn't care what we have to say about anything no I and to be honest like I check my mail once in a blue moon and half the time i don't even go through it properly because in my head i'm like no one knows where i live so i don't get anything important so i probably have loads of government documents just sitting there waiting for my attention you're like no one knows where i live

except for the government yeah so we look we did it last night but there have been a lot there has been a lot of conversation online this morning about how problematic some areas of the census were and predominantly there was only options of being male female lgbtqr community completely disregarded non-binary community completely disregarded and on top of that if you did select a non-binary option you were just then allocated which a lot of people don't know you were just randomly allocated a sex at the end of the census which completely goes against the whole premise of being non-binary in the first place so if you picked so there was literally male or female and if was there a non-binary option at all or not i didn't see the non-binary option some people had

said to me that there was a non-binary option but then it allocated a gender at the end anyway but I didn't see it I don't think there was a non-binary option and the crazy thing about this is like the census their actual tagline for doing it is that every stat tells a story unless that stat is about your sexuality however if that stat is about how much housework you do every single week they want to know I don't know I feel like the whole thing was very backwards there is a lot more very modern information that could have been included in that census to be able to make well-educated decisions for the next five years and they miss that opportunity completely so what was that what were some of the questions that I asked for this census so some of the questions

included things like how many hours a week work are you doing what is like a shit that the ATO already knows for starters like the ATO already knows how much money I make even though every time I seem to do my tax they're like are you sure you submitted everything and I'm like I don't know you guys know why don't you just tell me how much tax they owe and they're like we can't do that but we will find you if you fuck it up yeah you're telling the story guys so there was just a lot of questions around like your income around like what the type of work you do your tertiary education who you live with how many children you have how much house and unpaid labor you do in your own home a lot of those type of questions and then also another very and highly triggering question

which I think a lot of people would have seen and been like well this is a fucking poorly timed question to ask is what transport did you use to get to work this week and since most of us I walked from my fucking bedroom to the lounge room I put my joggers on and walked 10 meters I used my feet thank you I moved for a whole four meters today from the couch to the fridge and back so yeah look I mean it's this is nothing new there's been a lot of articles coming out this morning around how problematic this is but I just think we're in 2021 there are no more excuses for why that has not been addressed or why that's not been included as an absolutely crucial and imperative part of the data and statistics in Australia blows my mind. It's pretty bonkers especially

with all the conversations over the last I mean 12 to 18 months specifically it's insane that they can put out a census now and not even have an option for non-binary. Well that makes me mad and I know it makes a lot of other Australians out there mad as well so yes I'm at home I've got no pants on and I'm mad that's where we're at. Do you want to know what I did last night while you you've just made me think of this I was like what was I doing last night not having sex no one was not having sex either I don't have TikTok right and for some somehow I got deep into the TikTok world I think I read a news article I did I read a news article about one of the highest paid and highest followed TikTokers in the world he's number two he has I think 101 million

followers on TikTok his name is Kabane Lame and he gained 15 million followers like he was getting 15 million followers every two weeks so he grew astronomically and I was like I was so intrigued I was like why is this young kid so popular on TikTok so I went on to TikTok because I'm I'm I feel like I'm too old for TikTok I don't know how it works I don't know why everyone follows people I don't know what you have to do to be popular I was like there must be something amazing about this guy I went on to his TikTok and I scrolled like a best of that he has he doesn't speak it's actually the funniest thing I've ever seen he doesn't say a word all he does is watch a video a TikTok trend or something and then he just films himself his facial reaction to it and

he's growing 15 million followers every two weeks and he's earning millions of dollars a year and Laura why the fuck don't we have a YouTube that we can put our videos on and make millions of dollars a year I'm like how are these kids doing this but at the start I was so off it I was like I don't get it anyway I got hooked real quick I couldn't stop watching his videos his facials are amazing So if anyone wants to go and get lost on TikTok, that's my recommendation. No, Brittany just started a TikTok account because she's like, I heard that people are growing in content. This is why Matt has one.

Matt started a TikTok account. One day I came out and he was doing some weird dance move and I was like, oh, dear God, brace yourself. Here we are. Is Matt popular on TikTok? I mean, Matt's just, Matt's Matt. Who knows? I haven't looked.

I don't even know how many followers he has. He's popular in this household though. Oh, guys, enough of that. Let's get into the questions for today. and I have one Brit for you which actually came up on the Facebook group and to be honest it wasn't written into us it was an anonymous post came up on the Facebook group but I had a lot of feelings about this and so I wanted to unpack it on the podcast. Now it was very 50-50 in the comments section and a lot of the comments were getting pretty fiery in response so this is the predicament

and I'm going to summarize it for you guys. The girl had written in her boyfriend had broken up with her and she was going through the throes of a pretty shitty breakup. Now, the reason why he'd broken up with her was this. So he had still been in contact with a friend from several years ago who he'd hooked up with and kind of dated on and off before they had gotten together. Now, this friend, she had a baby and she was in a relationship with somebody else. Recently, she had started sliding into his DMs and contacting him a bit more and her boyfriend, so the person who had written this question her boyfriend had come to her and said hey this girl from my past has been messaging me pretty inappropriately she wants to hook up um I said no um but yeah I just wanted to

let you know and the person who wrote in the question has turned around and said I want you to tell the girl the friend who has been writing to you I want you to tell her partner I want you to tell her partner so that he knows what she's trying to do to our relationship but also what she's doing to their relationship and the boyfriend says absolutely fucking no way we are not getting involved there just like let it go away and the person who wrote in she dug her heels in and she went behind her boyfriend's back and she wrote to the partner of the girl who'd been contacting her boyfriend and she said like this is what your girlfriend has been doing things blew up there it got back to the boyfriend as in like the boyfriend of the girl the anonymous poster

broke up with her. Now there were lots of questions on the Facebook group around whether she had actually done anything wrong. So whether the girl from our Facebook group, the anonymous poster was in the wrong by going behind her boyfriend's back and telling the other partner. Brittany, what are your thoughts? Because it made me really mad. I had a lot of feelings about this one. Wow. Okay. Okay. First question is what has happened to the woman with the baby and her partner the one that was trying to cheat are they together or did they break up absolutely no idea and also completely irrelevant to the situation that's happened with the girl and her boyfriend yeah i was just trying to get the goss that wasn't relevant she wants to know like did

she really do anything wrong by going and telling him or was her boyfriend's reaction breaking up with her an overreaction and also like how the hell does she get over this breakup but i think more so i want to know if like ethically did she do the wrong thing by her boyfriend i think this is a really tricky one and I think it's I think it's pretty situational we actually get a lot of people write this question in and I've been in these positions in the past we have a lot of people say things like should I be going and telling this person that their partner's cheating and it's always really tricky morally of course you want to go and do that of course you want to save the guy from you know being with someone that doesn't love him that's doing the wrong thing

that's trying to break up other relationships but also there is an aspect where I feel like it's not necessarily your problem and I think sometimes things are better left alone but some people can't live with themselves knowing that they they haven't gone and done the right thing and told someone that their partner is cheating on them for this situation it's really tricky because I she this poor girl that's been broken up with she has not done the wrong thing by telling him she may have done the wrong thing by going against her partner's wishes I can see why he is mad for sure but I cannot see why he's broken up with her I think that that is way too extreme if the only thing she has done is get her back up about the fact that someone has come into their

relationship as a homewrecker and tried to break them apart she hasn't necessarily done the wrong thing by telling them but she has pissed him off obviously by going behind his back and I can see where he's coming from in that I don't think he should have broken up with her that makes me question if there is more going on in this relationship than maybe he has said or if there are other problems in a relationship because that is not a reason to end your relationship what do you think totally and i spoke to matt about this quite a bit because i was like i was so mad for her i was like i was mad for her because it's one thing to involve yourself in somebody else's cheating drama like if you find out that your friends cheated on their partner and you want

to go and talk to the person about it that's a whole different kettle of fish because you're involving yourself in somebody else's relationship and in somebody else's drama this is her actual relationship this happened to her and this was somebody who came into her home and tried to you know get with her partner and I completely agree that you know if your partner has asked you not to do something specifically said please do not go and speak to him please do not betray my trust by doing that I get why he would be mad and when I spoke to Matt about this Matt was like yeah I would be mad at you he's like I would be mad that you went behind my back and went and spoke to the other guy he was like but I wouldn't break up with you we would just have a fight we

would have a fight and then we would move on and the fight would be about the betrayal of the conversation there that I asked you to do something and you didn't do what I asked you to you know and you betrayed my trust but the bigger issue here is that why is the boyfriend so hell-bent on protecting and preserving their relationship over his own relationship and over the needs and wants of his actual girlfriend I just think there's so much more loaded into this and I know that maybe there's a little bit of spite maybe there's a bit of jealousy like you know maybe it wasn't just the initiative as in like to go and tell the other partner it didn't just come from her being like I want to do the right thing I want to save him from being cheated on she was probably like no fuck you

I don't want you don't get to get away with this like and there was probably a little bit of spite loaded into that but I also don't blame her I think that that's a very natural and normal response to this sort of situation where when somebody tries to hook up with your boyfriend you're gonna be like fuck you you can't get away with that like that's such bad behavior and I'm mad what would you do in that situation if Matt's ex had slid into his DMs Matt came to you and said this has happened but I put it to bed and I won't talk to her anymore what would you do would you go and contact that partner and try and ruin that relationship or would you just be grateful that he told you and get on with it I actually thought about this no I would not go and tell him and I

think it is because I do have a really high level of trust with Matt in our relationship and if Matt said to me this has happened and I'm never going to speak to her again for me that would be enough finality about the whole thing that's the big question though we don't know whether he has said he's not going to be in any contact with her anymore we don't know whether they're still going to remain and keep some sort of friendship and if he was saying oh you know like it's not a big deal and trying to downplay it but still wanted to keep a friendship with her I can understand why that would make his girlfriend feel crazily insecure and like that would kind of like up this need and the want to be able to do something about it right to go and reach out and be like wanting to stop

this it's really hard without knowing all the ins and outs but I feel like I don't want to say that this girl that has been broken up with has done the wrong thing because she hasn't but the reason that the partner is angry is that he came to her and was honest he asked her not to do something and she wasn't honest with him and went behind his back to start this fire with the other relationship so I think he's probably just felt a little bit betrayed which is ridiculous because the only person that's really been betrayed in this whole situation is this poor girl the innocent girl in the relationship and she seems like she's the only one that's paid for it which fucking sucks but I think that there's the more I think about it there has to be more going on in

this situation for him to throw away what sounded like a great long-term relationship over this situation. Now, I don't know what that is. My advice to this girl, I think if you really want to save the relationship, like he's broken up with you, if you really want to save it and you really want to be with him, I think you need to swallow a bit of a pill and apologize. Now, I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, but obviously your partner feels like you have. And this is what it's about. It's about what people feel in regards to a situation. And that's not necessarily how you would feel there's no right and wrong with feelings but feelings are there because they're specific to an individual he feels betrayed so you need to go and very calmly explain yourself

you need to say I'm so sorry that I hurt your feelings I can see now that I went about it the wrong way but the way I was feeling at that time I was feeling so emotional so upset so betrayed and did I deal with it in the wrong way yes absolutely do I regret it yes do I want to make this work with you? Yes. Can we sort of talk this out? I think it's a really a matter of putting your feelings down, explaining it at a very calm base level. That's what I would do in this situation. You might not actually feel like you were in the wrong, but like I said, and I can't reiterate it enough, feelings are different for everyone and your partner feels like he has been betrayed. So that would be my advice if you want to get this relationship back on track.

Yeah. I think it's a hard one, isn't it? Like, I don't like the idea of saying, even if you're not sorry you should go and apologize for something like I kind of hate that but you're not apologizing because you've done something wrong you're saying I'm sorry that I made you feel like that that's what it's about it's like I'm sorry I didn't think that you would react in this way I didn't consider your feelings in that this is what I did I was so passionate about it because I was wronged in this situation but I can understand it's more about understanding each other in a relationship that's what it is yeah and I get that I do think like the biggest thing in a relationship when you have any fight is like you want to feel validated not necessarily

apologizing when you haven't or you don't feel like you're in the wrong like I don't think that you should say sorry for something when you're not sorry for your behavior but you do need to validate and make your partner feel validated in why they're upset and like he feels betrayed because he asked you to do something and you went behind his back and did it so there is a level of betrayal there whether there's no point us sitting here and pointing fingers being like you're right you're wrong it's completely unhelpful and that was happening a lot in the comment section on Facebook people were getting very emotional about this but I do think I think having conversation and validating that you understand why he is upset but also in the flip side you need to be

validated as to why you were upset because I would be so mad too I would be so I would feel so betrayed and I would feel like that person the girl didn't have any care or didn't have any consideration for my relationship at all which clearly she didn't and at the end of the day she's the one who has done the wrong thing and you're the one that is ultimately suffering for this so I agree with you completely Brittany I think and this has been the general consensus from everybody I've asked it is not a break-upable offense like what you did is not worth being broken up with about and so maybe there is a bigger picture happening here maybe there are other fractures or faults in your relationship that you weren't aware of and he's using this

as a crutch because he wants to get out of the relationship or maybe he danced in the gray with her and there was more going on there as well like we don't know there's so many other facets to this that that it could be but I do not think the reason why you broke up is this and solely this because that is a fucking huge overreaction if I ever have seen it let's get in to question number two okay so question number two actually ties in pretty nicely I think with this question if a friend tells you something and says please don't tell anyone would you still tell your partner example if brit told laura something and said laura please don't tell anyone would you still go and tell matt oh this is a good question actually this is okay this is such a good question

look i think there are a couple of different areas of this that make it a bit gray i tell Matt most things, right? Like he knows pretty much everything. Does that mean that I tell him every single thing about my friends? No, I do think that there has to be some privacy. If your friends tell you things that are private and they ask for secrecy around something, then I think that you owe that to them. Like that you're showing your friend a level of respect by giving them that. I think it is dependent on two things though. One is like how close you are with that friendship and also what are they asking you to keep a secret like that's a pretty important part of this I mean if it's something that's completely personal about them like for example Britt if you

were having a massive blow up with Jordan and you said to me look I don't want Matt to know don't tell Matt I wouldn't tell Matt about it because I wouldn't want Matt to have a skewed perception about what your relationship is like you know we haven't gotten the opportunity because of Jordan's away guys like we haven't had the opportunity to spend lots of time together as like couple friends so Matt doesn't really know Jordan and I would hate Matt's first impression of Jordan to be that you guys were having a blow-up you know so I wouldn't run to him to tell him that I also think sometimes you have to assess are you telling your partner because it's gossip or are you telling your partner because you need somebody to kind of have a

bit of a back and forth with about the situation and how to best support your friend okay so in my head when I thought about this if I tell you Laura if I tell you something and I say don't tell anyone in my head I pretty much mean don't tell anyone but obviously you can tell Matt like in my head I feel like when I say don't tell anyone Matt's excluded and I feel like that's in a lot of couples I think there are a lot of couples that in a relationship you have someone to be a bit of a sounding board and maybe you at the end of the day you want to go to your partner and you want to unpack your day and maybe the friend me in this sense maybe what I have come to you with is a real problem that you don't know what to do with me you don't know how to act with

me or you don't know how to help me so maybe as a sounding board you go to Matt you're like look don't say anything and you know he wouldn't this is what's happening with Brea I don't really know what to do I think it's almost expected in relationships because there is this thing with relationships where I don't know it's almost like an unspoken thing that you do tell each other everything but I agree if you ever said to me please don't tell Jordan please don't tell anyone I absolutely would not like there has to be a level of respect in your friendship but I think I was trying to think of all my couple friends and everyone I know and almost all of them I think would tell their partners just about everything knowing that it then stays in the relationship

I think a lot of couples are sort of almost seen as an entity sometimes instead of two individuals and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing I unpack a lot with Jordan and I tell him a lot about what's going on in my life and in other people in my life but again if it was really if you came to me and said you'd had a miscarriage or you had a huge fight with Matt and you and you didn't know what to do if you said to me this is like a huge secret and I don't want anyone to know I would take it to the grave it is what it is you have to have respect for your friendships but I think when you go to a friend and you say don't tell anyone if you don't want them to tell their partner you need to be specific you need to say don't tell anyone including your partner

I guess one of the things that's probably a bit unfair and I mean like life is unfair but if you're in a relationship as someone who's a couple you then get the opportunity of having a sounding board with someone else like you don't really have to keep a secret because you get to have that opportunity to to be able to just like oh get that off your chest and tell someone and like let's be real like Matt only listens to 50% of what I say anyway so he's gonna forget anyway but when you're a single person and your friend says to you don't tell anyone you don't get that same ability to have that sounding board you don't get the same you know release for choice of a better word to like you know flesh out somebody else's problems with and I mean it's not fair

it's not fair that like one friend who just because they're in a couple gets the ability to go and share that with somebody else because it puts a higher level of responsibility on someone when they're single that everything that's said to them they have to keep completely private and completely to themselves like I don't think it's I think it's unfair that we have two separate sets of rules for our friends even though you say that you tell me things knowing that I will tell Matt there are definitely things that I do not tell Matt and it's not because I need to keep secrets from him but it's because I want to protect your privacy I love that this is like down to that you and I do we tell each other our secrets just us yeah but also like I respect our friendship and

sometimes if what's happening to you doesn't directly affect me like it's your personal secret then I don't need to go and flesh that out with him you know he doesn't need to know that information and all that does is shows a lack of respect to you I agree but if I think it depends a lot on the partner too so if you know your partner is a big gossip you know they are not going to keep the secret then you probably need to be a bit more respectful and not share as much for me if I share something with Jordan I've never met anyone in my life that is more of a vault than Jordan like that will not ever leave his lips again if I knew he was a gossip I wouldn't tell him as much because he would just go and tell everyone else on the tennis tour and they would

tell everyone else and I think you have to you have to be pretty honest with yourself at what your relationship is like and what your partner is like with his loose lips I mean let's be real we're pretty difficult people to ask this question to because we just share everything on a podcast anyway we have no secrets you guys know everything about us maybe as a friend and as a friend who's in a relationship we should make decisions of am I telling my partner this and actually it's not really helpful it's just gossiping am I telling my partner this because I really need someone to sound this information with I think maybe we can all be a little bit more mindful and a bit more critical that like if our friend comes to us with something that is completely personal and private

to them there is no benefit in our partners knowing that information then maybe exercising a bit of self-control because they don't need to know every single thing like and I know that there's going to be some people out there who don't agree with me but I do think that like your partner is not supposed to be every single thing to you they don't have to be the person that you go to with every single piece of information or secret they're not your religion they're not your counselor they don't have to play every partner relationship yeah I agree when I say I mean I still do stand by this when I say when you tell your friends something expect them to tell their partner I still stand by that because I think a lot of people if you don't specify they'll probably

will naturally just want to tell their partner and have a sounding board so I'm I stand by saying have that expectation if you know you don't want the partner to know I'll just be a bit more specific I wouldn't say don't tell anyone I'd say please don't tell anyone don't even tell Matt that's what I would say I would just make it a bit more specific because I think in this world people especially in like a lockdown situation now with the world you are in this tiny house all day with your partner it's going to want to come out it's it's I think I just feel like it's inevitable in this situation so I would just be very specific if you want not a soul to know I don't think you've ever told me don't tell Matt I don't think you've ever told me something and

then be like but don't tell Matt yeah because I'll be like I'll just tell him myself or I'll put on the podcast all right question number three hit me all right question number three is fucking funny let's make this a quick one during sex do you girls close your eyes and imagine your fantasy to climax sometimes it's a fantasy of you and the guy you are having sex with sometimes it's not sometimes it's someone completely random sometimes it's him in a third party the same way you would close your eyes and imagine when you are masturbating but during intercourse with another person is it a normal to be completely thinking about someone else to climax and b is it normal to close your eyes when you climax i want to know i want to know the second part to this question do

you shut your eyes when you orgasm or do you open your eyes and stare straight into jordan's soul do you know what a bit a bit of b i don't i don't have one lane that i stick in i think it's like how i'm feeling and it depends on the position like if it's doggy i don't like to look over my back like you don't glance over your shoulder just like you're about to reach your orgasm and you're like wait a second reach round lock eyes can you imagine like I feel like that's awkward you know when a dog takes a shit and looks at you it's so awkward that's what I feel like did you just compare your orgasms to a dog taking a shit that's what I imagine like you know when a dog is doing a shit in a park and it like locks eyes with you and you're like bro why you're

looking at me while you're pooing that's that's what I felt like in this situation um sometimes like I think it depends on the sex sometimes if it's like really nice and intimate I think it's nice to to lock eyes I don't think you should be closing your eyes because you're embarrassed like I hope no one's in a situation where they're uncomfortable or embarrassed or you know because everyone has a pretty fucking funny orgasm face I'm not gonna lie everyone has a face and a sound and I just think I think it's sexier to embrace that I don't think you should shy away from it but also sometimes I can't be bothered. I just like turn my head to the side and close my eyes.

Eye contact is so sexy. I actually find like eye contact is what will get me to the next point. You're the dog shitting in the park. Fuck, you're the shitting dog. It was one time, Brittany, and he asked me to do it on his chest, okay? Because everyone shits in the shower. Everybody has shit in the shower at least once. okay so I think for me though it is completely dependent on if I'm feeling myself like if I

feel like I'm what like if you're feeling sexy yeah like if I feel like I'm looking sexy and like you know feeling myself literally uh I have no problem with making eye contact but if I think my hair looks like shit and I'm not really feeling particularly sexy and we're just having a quickie with the lights kind of off no I'm not like trying to make deep eye contact but also I think everyone and if you say you don't do this at all I'm gonna call bullshit okay this is a little bit different to the shitting in the shower comment if you have never had a fantasy or like imagined that you were having sex with someone else from time to time you will imagine something else it's just like what happens you don't you don't have full agency and control over your thoughts thoughts come in

and they go out and I think that like when people masturbate they might fantasize about something else and it's because variety is the spice of life in your mind I'm not saying go out and find someone else I have not since I've been with Jordan I have not fantasized by anyone else but you know we're like seven eight months so that's that's probably why but before that I didn't have any meaningful relationships when I was meeting people and sleeping with them it was because it was like it was casual thing so and it was always still new I had no long-term relationship so I never my mind never had to wander because I was always invested in my situation so I feel like I can't compare that I mean I have sex dreams about other people for sure totally and when I say

fantasize about someone else I don't mean fantasize about someone else specifically like I'm not saying like you're thinking about having sex with the guy who makes your coffee that's not what I'm saying he's cute though I'm I'm saying like imagining a slightly different scenario to what is physically happening in the bedroom do you know I mean I think that sometimes especially as women like we're very imaginative and sex is like a whole encompassing thing it's not just about the physical and what's happening in a tactile sense but it's also about your mind being stimulated so what I mean is this you could be thinking about something that you've seen in porn I don't mean that when you go to bed you're thinking about fucking your friend at the same

time what I do think would be unhealthy is if every time you're going to bed with your partner that you're imagining someone else or something else if you are having to use that escapism in order to get off then that's probably when you might consider are you just not really enjoying having sex with your partner because I don't think that that's the norm either yeah and her opening line was during sex do you girls close your eyes and imagine your fantasy to climax now if your fantasy is like she went on to say if if your fantasy is that you're having sex with your partner and someone else like it's a threesome I mean girl go crazy live your truth live your best authentic sex life but also maybe that's if that's a fantasy maybe that's something you could

voice and bring up with your partner maybe that's something you guys could explore but if your fantasy is every single day Jason Momoa's just boning you up a wall if it's Sam Heughan from outlander you're a legend also understandable um no but if it's if it's got if you're constantly sleeping with your partner and you are imagining yourself somewhere else with someone else then that is different but absolutely people use their fantasies all the time to climax i don't think that's wrong if you're constantly closing your eyes when you orgasm i'm going to will you to the next time you orgasm open your eyes look each other in the eye and just see what happens because I bet you'll have a better orgasm. It's so fucking sexy. Like there's so much, it's so much more like

you're in the moment with your eyes open. So yes, I highly recommend that as well. Maybe we'll give it a go next time. In a while. Well, that's it from us guys. What a random assortment of questions we had today. But I love it like that. Guys, keep your questions coming in, you know, to send them to the DMs on Instagram, Life Uncut Podcast. Make sure you put Ask Uncut at the top. And please, there is no limit to what you can ask us. The more weird and wonderful, the more we love that. So keep them sliding in. I want some more random sexy questions, please. Like I do care. Can you please ask me some really just out there weird ones? I'm ready for it. Laura wants the dirty questions. About a dog making eye contact while it shits, please. Something that we can make some

more references to. For everybody who's written in questions, we love it. If you haven't joined the Facebook group yet, jump on. And you know the drill. If you haven't left a review on Apple, jump on there and do that for us as well. Subscribe and tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your friends and tell everyone and share the love because we love love