Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Holding on, viagra, bad Dad and bad haircuts

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

It's Therapy Thursday and in todays session we are answering your deep, dark and burning questions:Should I still go to an event with my ex as friends, even though I'm still in love with him?Viagra for an anniversary gift.... what do you think?I babysit for this family and the Dad hit on me... what do I do?My bestie is my hairdresser, but she sucks. help!If you have a question for Ask Uncut follow us @LIFEUNCUTPODCAST and slide on into the old DM'sSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut, our quick, down and dirty little episode where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. And I'm back, baby. It's lovely to have you back. Not that I absolutely did not love having producer Keisha on, but you have been, well,

you haven't been under the weather. Yeah, I just want to say I was actually like, kind of like, just like really jealous listening to the start of the episode. So if you guys listened to Tuesday's episode, I missed the intro. Britt and I actually recorded we recorded the body of the episode and then the second suite and then that night after I got home and I was saying in the second suite that Lola had been a bit sick and I got home and her eye was just completely glued shut she had really hectic conjunctivitis and then I felt like such a I just felt like such an idiot going to hospital with a

kid that had conjunctivitis being like hi I know this is completely treatable from something from the chemists, but it was late at night. Anyway, it turns out we ended up staying there for two nights. Yeah. Because I said to Laura, A, don't feel ridiculous going to a hospital. It's what they're there for. And I can't tell you how many people walk into a hospital and say, I'm so sorry I'm here. Like I'm so embarrassed, but guys, if you're unwell, that's what a hospital is for. And B, so glad that you went because it wasn't conjunctivitis. It was something called ocular colitis. Like it was an eye infection. Yeah. So basically it's like when poo gets into a scratch into an eyeball so I'm gonna blame the toddler oh Marley has for sure poked her in the

eye with poo that's what happened so anyway the wild beast poked the melon head in the eye and that resulted in us having two nights in hospital but that's a great 21st birthday story I poked you in the eye with my poo and you've got put in hospital kids are hard but I just want to say to any parent and I know that there's going to be someone who needs to hear this if you were ever at home contemplating is my child sick enough to take them to hospital like should I shouldn't I just fucking go don't gamble that question yourself and I know that I've done it so many times where I've kind of been like oh good temperature should I shouldn't I and I think that this occasion really made me realize especially with things like eyes like just

don't gamble with it so anyway she's completely fine now fully on the mend I was so jealous listening back to the episode only because producer Keisha was really really good well so yeah last minute Laura had to obviously go to the hospital so we hadn't done the start of the episode yet I had been with Keisha at an event and I said you know what you just need to step on in and she was like yeah cool I can do that and then poor Laura's sitting in the hospital we sent a photo to Laura in the hospital of us together and Laura's like stop it I'm so irrationally jealous I want you to be separated in different rooms not only that I was like texting them both we have a like a work group chat and I was texting them both and no one was

replying so I was like how did I get sidelined so quickly from this trio I was like girl we're work in your separate rooms don't be jealous anyway the hospital was very boring melonhead is back to the picture of health she's so much better and here we are to answer all of your mishaps and whatever they are just the shit that's going wrong in your life so speaking of tuesday's episode brit things did go a little bit south yeah south where the where the semen comes out uh that's where we went to what was the poll so i was listening to the episode if you heard Tuesday's episode, somehow Brit and Keisha got onto the conversation of men shooting their semen across the room and whether or not people do it. And they put a poll up on Instagram. I had nothing

to do with this. All right, people, I was just as shocked and mortified as the rest of you. Laura sent a request from the hospital. What the fuck are they talking about? I don't know why that shocks you after everything we have spoken about. I think because I'd never ever thought about a man masturbating and then purposely trying to shoot semen across the room i still stand by the fact that most people would have tried it once in their life out of curiosity so guys we put a poll up and we received so many messages from you who went and actually asked your husbands or your significant others the male in your life and

asked you know have you shot semen across the room just to see how far it'll go this is just one of the replies that we received i asked my hubby about sperm shooting and he reckons it's a super boss move if you can shoot your sperm he also added that they move pretty fast and can go several kilometers an hour there you go guys that's it the answers are in and it seems like some men do it honestly it's not i don't want you guys to think it's a thing like it's not that some men do it for fun you walk in the bedroom and there's like something sticking you're like babe again from everyone i've spoken to this is a thing that a man will do at least once in their life i would do it 100 if i had a penis at some point in my life out of curiosity i'd be like like long

jump how far could this go i'm curious and that's what they do anyway onwards and upwards guys here we are we have received quite a few questions this week but we've picked out some of the ones that we think we can add some value to we might have some experience or some knowledge to be able to give you a bit of worldly and life advice and I am going to kick this off all right so I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years I am desperately in love with him and I'm not over the breakup we were supposed to be going to a really big event coming up in a couple of weeks time which we had both bought tickets to now he has said that i can still go or we should still go together but we should go as friends i'm contemplating going but i know deep down it's

because i really want to be with him what should i do sell your ticket fucking don't go don't yeah that's a really tough one and i feel for you because i've been in that situation before where you want to hold on with everything that you've got all of your being you are absolutely not ready for that breakup you're not ready to let go you're not ready to not have him in your life but the fact of the matter is he does not feel like that about you and that is really hard pill to swallow but it is one that unfortunately you do need to swallow can you guys be friends down the track and can you have him in your life I mean yeah maybe I don't know the rest of your story also maybe not but also maybe not but I don't think right now in this situation where he has

said in his friendship and you know you want more it's going to end disastrously it will be very very painful for you while you're there I did this so I'm giving you this one from some real personal experience remember mattress guy the guy who wanted to have sex behind my knee how could we forget sexy leg mattress man I really forgot about this one he was just such a an early relationship I had I mean we were together for six years but we broke up when I was 23 so like it was a long time ago I'm old guys this is over 10 years ago so he broke up with me he broke my heart I was absolutely devastated when we broke up really really really struggled for a really long time and I had tickets to go and see Matchbox 20. What oh my god this shows our age. That is how long ago

this was and I had bought tickets I really wanted to go and see Matchbox 20. I was obsessed with them at the time. I had bought a ticket for him as well because we were together and even though it wasn't for like a birthday or anything he convinced me that I should still let him go because he was a tight ass and also really loved Matchbox 22. And because I was still so in love with him, even though he'd broken up with me, I was like, yes, of course. Like it's an opportunity for me to see you. It's an opportunity for me to like be my funniest, my hideous.

I will woo you back. Yeah, I will change your mind. You know, you'll spend the night with me and then realize you made the wrong decision. He didn't. Classic female moo. Totally. He didn't.

He didn't change his mind. I tried my hardest to be everything that he would want, like knowing what he liked about me and I tried to be the perfect version for him and all it did was leave me bitterly bitterly disappointed and feel so pathetic and useless because at the end of the night he still didn't want to be with me and he had just even though he knew I was in love with him still he just wanted to be my friend and I was like you know what fuck your friendship I've got friends yeah go find another leg to fuck watch me walk on out of here you'll never see the back of my knee leave. I love that. But it's honestly, that is so true. And the fact is you

could have had a whole different experience of Matchbox 20. You could look back at that differently. You could have taken a friend, you could have had a great time. But now when you think of it, you think of that time that you try to be someone you're not to woo back a guy that wanted to have sex with your leg. Totally. And do you know what? Okay. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, go and listen to the bonus episode. It's really funny. It's from last week. It's the funniest moment of my life. Okay. So like that, then the whole having sex with the back of my leg will make sense it's a very funny episode but I completely agree I wish I'd had a bit more confidence and I wish I'd had a little bit more self-worth and known that don't put

yourself in a situation one that you can't get out of because you're out of you're physically at an event it's not like catching up for a coffee or going for a chat like you're going to something together but by going to this event as friends you're solidifying this new status in your relationship which is that you are not what you used to be and I think the reality is is that you will be bitterly disappointed if you are not ready to be friends yet don't go don't go that's it this is an easy one guys if you're ever in this situation just don't do it fight the urge yeah because then you'll have suppressed trauma about matchbox 20 and 14 years later you'll still talk about it as a really painful time in your life all right i'm coming in hot i have my anniversary

coming up and want to get a couple of small gifts for my partner do you think buying viagra would be taken as sexy or insulting? This is very funny. I want to add our sex life is actually amazing. I just thought it might be something fun to do for a once off. What are your thoughts? Sexy or insulting? Okay. So I actually had to call in a bit of help on this question. I had to ask Matthew Johnson. He said, and then he really wanted me to preface. He's like, I've never tried Viagra. And then he was like, oh, but I have tried liquid Viagra. I was like, I'm pretty sure it's the same thing. Okay. So he said, I don't think it's offensive. So long as you preface it by saying, you know, I just wanted to try something new, spice things up. He said,

however, you do have to be prepared to go to pound town for about six hours because the guy's going to have a raging stiffy and he's not going to be able to do anything else with it. So if you enjoy being pounded to death for six hours, six hours, I mean, don't we all, I'm like a six minute wonder. I'm like, all right, all right, you're done. Let's go. All I can think of the hip flexors the next day. So if you're ready to spend a whole day in pound town, go for it, girlfriend. It could be a really, really fun little day for you.

Also, it could be exhausting and you might just want to put on Netflix and cuddle on the couch. Okay. So I asked Jordan too, because I feel like this is hard for us to answer, obviously being female. Jordan said the first thing that you would think of immediately would be like, okay, is there something that you're not happy with? Is there some sort of performance issue that you don't like?

because that's essentially what Viagra is. It's saying that you want it harder and it's saying that you want it longer. So that's definitely something to consider if there is any sort of issue in your relationship. I mean, you've said it's amazing. I think if I got given, I just tried to put it back to me,

but it was my anniversary. You got given like a fake vagina? And my partner came home with a pill that was like, this will make you hornier or this will make your vagina tighter. I'd be like, cool, but where's the diamond? I was like, it's my anniversary. Like you've literally given me a pill to make your pleasure go longer.

For me, I think it's like a touching, I think maybe, maybe do it for fun one night if you really want to and have the conversation, but maybe, maybe not anniversary gift. Yeah, I think you can try it. I think if you're wanting to spice things up, you can totally try it. But Britt is right. It doesn't have to be for an anniversary present. It's kind of a weird anniversary present. Let's just do it on a Saturday night.

Well, you've got to make sure you actually do it on a Saturday morning. If it's going to take you six hours, girlfriend, you want to start that in the afternoon. Clear the schedule. You have to clear the schedule because he's not going to be doing anything or going anywhere. It is going to be like he is pitching a tent and you are staying in for the day. All right. I think we answered that one too. All right.

Next question. Hit me. I like that we're just powering through these today. This is one that makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I think it's a really important one to have a chat about. That wasn't a question. That was me, guys. I feel like I was reading that in my question voice.

One night after babysitting for a family I worked for for six years, I got a call from the father who was still on his night out the mum had come home and that's why I had left he was drunk and slurring his words but he just wanted to check that I made it home okay that was all fine so I tried to go back to sleep it was 12 30 a.m but then he called back three more times so I eventually answered and he started off with don't talk to me in that smoky voice I was whispering so as to not wake my housemates long story short he told me that he has a thing for me and he thought I was sexy and hot and asked if I would come over right then. He said would we ever be a thing and could we ever meet. Obviously I was in utter shock so I didn't say much apart from no.

Also please note I'm 24 and I met them when I was 18. He is 40. The next day he messaged apologizing and asking if we were all good but now I don't know what to do. They introduced me as part of the family to their friends at the kids birthdays and it has been so long that I don't feel like i can just leave i also don't know how i'd feel facing him though and being in his house again especially if the wife is not there do i tell her do i go back can i leave help nobody we are not all good not all good yeah i bought no absolutely not hey so i called you and sexually harassed you last night um are we cool and tried to chat on my wife and like yeah it made you feel completely uncomfortable wow no absolutely just i'm so mad for a lot of reasons one of the lesser reasons

I'm going to say it anyway is that it's so fucking hard to find a really good babysitter if I was that wife if I was that wife that's where you've gone Matt messed up my babysitter that I'd had for five years I would be so dirty okay you have to quit your job like you cannot work for this family anymore you can't work in an environment where you know that the dad feels something more for you or would try something on if he gets another opportunity because like it's a really really uncomfortable environment for you it's probably not a very safe environment for you and I think by working there and showing up in that environment without addressing it you may even be giving him some sort of indication that this is okay because if you don't address this

he's gonna think this is fine which is absolutely not fine and that's not saying that that's your fault at all but he needs a fucking dressing down that's what he needs for starters what would I do if I was in this situation I would quit I would quit and I would speak to the wife and say because it's going to be a shock to them if you're babysitting and it's casual work it's going to be a shock if you're saying hey I can't work for you at all ever again and I don't have a reason I do think you should speak to the wife and say I can't work for you anymore your husband was very inappropriate to me on a night out after he'd had a few drinks I feel completely uncomfortable and you can leave it at that because I think that you will want to say something you will probably

feel incomplete if you don't and it's also really hard because you have a relationship with these children you've been part of their lives for the past five six years this is not a small thing this makes me really angry too and I feel so angry yeah I want to start by saying this really fucking sucks that this happens to you and you're the one that has to go and lose your job and you're the one that has to go and lose the family that you're close to and it feels unfair and it is unfair because you shouldn't have to go and quit your job because somebody else did the wrong thing and made you feel uncomfortable but what Laura said is right regardless of all of that you're in an environment that you're extremely uncomfortable in and you shouldn't have to be in

that and the only option is for you to leave because the family can't leave so I think what Laura said is correct you absolutely do not have to if you don't want to you don't have to tell them the reason like you're entitled to be like hey it's time for me to move on to my next chapter and I won't be working here anymore but I also don't want you to feel bad at all about bringing this up to the wife if that's what you feel like you want to do and that's what's going to help you because he's done the wrong thing this is not you it's completely in your hands what you want to do and how much you want to divulge and what you're comfortable with you could walk away and not say a thing are you then going to feel guilty and wish you did is that going to eat you alive or is it

going to eat you alive if you tell her something and it breaks up the family ultimately only you can make the decision but if it was me I would probably tell the wife because I feel like I would want to know if I was in that situation and my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was at home with the kids with a babysitter that had just left I would want to know so I think that you could start by just saying look yeah there was something that was really inappropriate and I don't feel comfortable in the house anymore you can leave it at that if you want but at least you've flagged that something is amiss you've given them a reason and it might make you feel a lot better too i completely agree with everything you said brit i think there is a huge huge

inequality in power here the fact that like he is your employer the fact that you have to come into his home into his private space 20 age difference yeah the fact that you guys will have to spend time alone like it is such a gross abuse of power that he has and what he has done and i do not think that you can continue to work there like I really think that it's not it's not safe it's not healthy for you I don't think that you should stay and it's not your fault and you have done nothing wrong and there's nothing that you should feel upset about but even though all of those things are true you're the one who has to live through all the consequences of this like like Britt said you're the one who's going to lose your job you're the one who loses the family

you lose all of these things and I think the only way to maybe even muster back a little bit of that and it can come a bit from anger it doesn't just have to come from being like oh I want to do the right thing for the wife and you know be this perfectly supportive and moral person it's okay to be fucking mad sometimes that someone's done something that means that you don't get to live your life and do the things that you want to do because you've done nothing wrong and you have to wear his consequences so I think even if your motivation isn't just because you're a perfectly saintly person if your motivation comes from being like a little bit pissed off at him that's okay as well and you can have that conversation with his wife and I think I would yeah that's pretty much

that in a nutshell that really sucks and me too and I also think if you find confrontation hard and you don't know you don't think you can literally sit down face to face and have that conversation with a wife write her a letter there's a lot of ways you can do it and even in a letter you can say I just didn't know how to tell you this or talk about it but if you do want to call me after this that's fine because I often find it's a lot easier to do that put something in text message and writing in a letter and then once both parties have a time because that way you can articulate it exactly the way you want she can have time to absorb it and then you can go and meet and talk about it so that's another option too there are plenty of ways to do it to make

all parties not all parties but you and the wife feel comfortable yeah and look at the end of the day if you do not want to tell her if there's a part of you that says look I want to get out of this situation I don't really want to work for him anymore but I don't feel comfortable having the conversation you don't have to do that either you know we're just saying what we would do if If we were in this situation, but the reality is, is you have to do what's right for you and you have to take care of yourself because in this situation, you are the most important person. Okay.

I have a tricky one. Really, really tricky. Ladies, I need your advice. My hairdresser is a good friend of mine and has been doing my hair and been a friend for 20 plus years. I am loyal to her and only ever go to her to have my head on. but after years of walking out unhappy with the end result i would like to try someone else but i don't want to offend her i have tried showing her photos for inspiration discussing

what to do with my hair before the appointment but it's never what i ask for what do i do this is so awkward i actually don't even know how to answer this i know i just sprung this on laura we didn't discuss this one this makes me uncomfortable because no part of you ever ever ever wants to offend a friend and obviously you've been doing it for 20 years like for you to be like cool I'm trying someone new especially if you're like I fucking hated my hair for 20 years like this is probably the first time I don't really know what solid advice to give you you can either be super super honest and say like oh do you know what you could do maybe she's not a specialist in something like so maybe you say hey I'm gonna go try something new and I'm gonna get some hair

extensions I'm going to this specialist that does hair extensions just get some tapes or something that you can get out soon as well put them in because that way you're like and when you're at the hairdresser i'd be like this is what i want explain it to her get what you want get the hair extensions and then a couple of weeks later i'd be like oh i didn't like the hair extensions i take it out and then you've got the hair that you wanted that's like the only like way i can think you can scoot around it i hate i hate laughing because it's not funny like nobody wants to disappoint a friend no we're laughing out of uncomfortableness i'm just laughing that like you are such a good person that you have spent 20 years with a hairstyle that you don't like

because she's your friend because she's your friend like you're an angel you're actually an angel sent from the heavens I don't I don't think I would go to the extent of getting hair extensions see I wouldn't do anything I can to avoid her and he's someone's feeling no of course but it's also hair extensions are really expensive like it's not like you don't want to go and spend a thousand dollars to avoid upsetting a friend like that probably still would I mean you know not everybody has no ability to go do that and I'm joking I just couldn't have the sit down with them I don't even reckon you do have a sit down you just turn up with a new hairstyle I think you just go I think you just you know what like are you wanting to do something that's completely

outrageously different or is it just like a bit of a trim bit of a maintain I think you just go and you know what you say you say I got a Groupon voucher or someone do you know what someone bought me a voucher for my birthday or for Christmas or something and I got my hair done yeah you could make it not a big deal don't blow it up I think if you sit down and have a heart to heart about it you're only going to really deeply upset them but no one likes confrontation your friend's not going to like confrontation either she's not going to like accost you and be like why did you get your hair done somewhere else she's going to know that that's an uncomfortable conversation and I think just go say you got a voucher from someone else have a little white lie get your hair done the

way that you like it and then maybe when your hair is done the way that you like it you'd be able to go back to your friend and say hey I really like this do you think you can maintain this and if she can't then you got another voucher no I mean it's so I love that we're nutting this out now okay these are my thoughts on what you just said I'm gonna disagree with I don't think you can just go I don't think you can turn up to brunch and have your new hairstyle it's like it's too you can't they're your friend over 20 years and they're your hairdresser you have to have that conversation you can't just both it's the elephant in the room it'll make it worse she'll be upset but I do like what you said about maybe making it someone's giving you a gift but it has to be

someone that knows that you don't have a hairdresser best friend of 20 years so it has to like could be a work colleague could be anything totally like we're gonna leave it up to you to make up that white lie lying is never the right solution but in this solution it's the right solution yeah and the other thing you could maybe do is if you have a holiday or a weekend away planned or something like that you could get it done while you're on holiday and you could be like I went to get a blow dry and ended up just getting colors you know went on vacay you could make it something like that I think it's got to be like something taken out of your ordinary life or you have the balls and you sit down and say,

hey, like I'm going to try something new, but I don't think you can just pretend it didn't happen. I don't think you can walk into brunch with like a new hair. I like that all of your suggestions like revolve around, go and get hair extensions, like a thousand dollars. Good, just go away on holiday and then get hair. Don't go on holiday to get your hair. But I think like make it, if you do a weekend away,

like find a hairdresser and be like, oh, I just tried something new. Who knows? I just don't think you can not talk it through. Yeah, I don't know. Look, I guess maybe we're not going to agree on this one. I think the bigger you make it and the more that you kind of try and flesh out a lie in real life with someone the more chance you have of actually coming undone and the more chance that someone's

going to be like okay I can tell that you're lying to me especially if it's your best friend I do think it's very easy to just you know show up with different hair and be like oh I know I hope you're not offended I got given a voucher from a work person got my hair done at this salon the bigger you make it the bigger this is going to be as a deal so try and keep it as minimal as possible is all i'm gonna say but look no one wants to have hair that they don't like for 20 years this is your opportunity to do something different you've already put in the hard yards you put 20 years like you need time to take that back but most people don't even put that much effort into any relationship you've done that for 20 years with your hairdresser you deserve a medal

can you let us know what you do i would love to hear also send us a photo of the new hair you'll be anonymous yeah all right guys that is it from us thank you for listening to another episode thank you to everybody who has sent in a question you also know that if your question is not one that you need to keep anonymous you can always post it in the facebook group as well which is life uncut discussion group and hit us up on instagram which is life uncut podcast you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your friends and share the love because we love We'll be right back.