Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - How to end an affair

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

Happy therapy Thursday Lifers and today Producer Keeshia is jumping in the hot seat.We often have questions about being cheated on, but today we're jumping into the less common dilemma of a cheater."I've turned into the person I never thought I'd be. I'm getting married in 3 months. I love my partner and I want our life together. I've been sleeping with someone from work for 2 months. How do I end it? We have a crazy sexual connection and the best sex I've ever had in my life."We also jump into how important having the same religious/political beliefs as your partner are, and how to tell a friend that you do not want to travel with them!If you like hearing us in your ears/from your speaker, please leave us a review. 5 stars would be lovely! Keep your questions coming in to @lifeuncutpodcast on insta & share the love because we love lovvvvve! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Keisha, filling in for Laura today because, very excitingly, I mean, there's kind of this whole other side. I know that everyone who listens to the podcast knows that Laura has Tony May. A double life. Yeah, she fully has a double life. And I think that very excitingly, Tony May drops two collections a year. Today just so happens to be one of those days where she's dropped a brand new collection

and a little bit of insight into, you know, how this little team works. I don't know how the hell Laura does it. We don't know how the hell we work at all. Full stop. Like, we don't know. We scratch our heads every single week. Every single time. But particularly when I consider that Laura has two completely separate businesses. She also has two young children. Like I just, I genuinely, I don't know when the woman

sleeps. Keisha has stepped on in for her and we love having you here, Keisha. You always happen to fall on a Thursday though, don't you? It never falls on a Tuesday. I know. And I feel a little bit gypped because not, not that I don't love Ask Uncut, don't get me wrong. The reason that I mostly feel a bit gypped is because usually on a Thursday we don't do accidentally unfiltered or the brand new segment confessionals even though I'm often the one who will read your messages on Instagram and kind of say oh this person sent in this hilarious accidentally unfiltered anyway someone has sent in a confessional basically what you're trying to say she's basically trying to say is you want your time to shine you want to read a confessional I can tell no I don't want my time

to shine I want my time to share because sometimes I'm not even joking I would just be sitting there when I used to have housemates I used to know that they would hear me just start cracking up laughing from my bedroom and they would be like she's reading messages for work she's reading those things that people send in someone sent in a confessional that actually had me gasping for air I was laughing that hard at and I would love to share it if I'm allowed to even though it's a Thursday I want to break the rules before you share it I want to ask you something I want to know how has this week been for you because it's freedom week in New South Wales you more than anyone you have had every lockdown in Australia I think because you just moved around how did you

feel about it what did you get up to a bit of context about that is that I went through the whole Victorian lockdown last year which was an absolute shit show and a half so for any of our Victorian listeners I feel you because I was there with you and listening to Laura talk about how you know coming out of lockdown she actually felt for the first time that she had a little bit of social anxiety I really really know what she was talking about but for me it happened last time so I went through the Victorian lockdown and then I went into hotel quarantine and when I came out of hotel quarantine I was like this doesn't make any sense to me I'm such an extroverted person I've been locked up for literally months and I'm I feel so weird being around people I feel like I don't want

to make plans I don't want to go out and socialize and it was really really odd this time around I was at the pub on Monday night you were like straight out there I was honestly like where can I have my first sip of a beverage in a venue surrounded by people and I went to the Clavelli Hotel which is a couple of suburbs down I could hear all of these men that had just been like having drinks together they were a bit drunk and I saw these really young boys with vodka raspberries in their hands and I was like ah nature is healing. What was the general vibe were people just frothing or were people still like were people cautious of COVID like could you see was there like a feeling of people not really knowing how to act normal like they've been

kept up for too long I don't know I mean I think that there's a quite a few mixed opinions around I've definitely spoken to some of my friends that have been like I'm not ready to go out yet like I just I still am a little bit worried uh I guess for me I kind of have a bit maybe I feel a little bit more secure because you know I am jabbed and I'm kind of like yeah cool like risks are a lot lower and I'm ready to get back out there and do my thing yep get back on the horse what you really mean is it's time to get back on the dating scene yes I am absolutely ready for my hot girl summer the one thing that has been a little bit disappointing about this freedom week is that all of a sudden the weather has turned to shit and I mean like it's raining and cold and it's just

raining all day for the next week so it's put a little bit of a dampener quite literally on the spirits it's always like it didn't want to give you everything all at once it's like we don't want to give you complete freedom like we still want to semi keep you inside so here is a downpour Yeah, I think something that will be keeping the numbers down is the fact that no one wants to go outside right now. But I have a question that is so important, Britt, that I need your wisdom and I need your advice on. Well, lucky this is Ask Uncut.

I give my wisdom out every Thursday. What do you need to know? Okay, I don't know if you, because you've only been back in Australia for a little bit. Blueberries have been weirdly cheap for quite some time. Blueberries and strawberries. You can get them for like $2 a punnet. and i have been eating upwards of a punnet a day however i have a question for you this particular

punnet of blueberries that i have just gone to eat i've opened and i must have had them for maybe three days they've been sitting on the bench so i haven't refrigerated them one of them has mold on it oh you want to know if i'd eat the other ones do you if one of the berries has mole on it can you just discard that blueberry slash strawberry it's happening in both punnets can you just get rid of that one and the rest are fine do you eat the rest of the punnet or do you throw the whole thing away this is actually a good question this has happened to me before with strawberries it happens with that as well because sometimes you'll just get like one really bad strawberry and the other ones are okay I think what I think at this

point of my life okay in the olden days in my youth when I was a sprightly young thing with no money when you were poor and you couldn't afford to buy another punnet and I was poor and like a young uni student and you know you don't have because I used to be like six dollars a punnet I probably would have just okay when I say probably I did you just throw the bad one out and you eat the rest you give them a rinse you give a rinse under the water just to be sure but now I just wouldn't do it if there's one that's moldy I just couldn't I would just think that there is mold on the other ones that might be so small and insignificant that I can't see it yet and it just freaks me out I'm like I'm not at a point now where I have to eat moldy food like

I can I can throw it out and it must be nice to be at the point where you don't have to eat the moldy blueberries it's a really great place to be in life yeah so I I would I would probably not eat the mold if there was something in there that was moldy it'd just be in the bin for me what I feel like you are gonna eat it look now that I'm actually making my way through the entire punnet I've just picked out three that have mold on them still there's some that are really nice and firm and taut and I'm like that one looks great nah chuck them I'm gonna risk it to get the biscuit and I don't know if I'm in the point where I have to worry about how expensive blueberries are firstly they're very cheap at the moment secondly I'm earning money so like my life isn't

that dire but Keisha you live in Bondi Beach you've got it you've got a job and you just said the punnet of blueberries was two dollars throw the punnet out it's got mold on it I will shout you a new punnet it's on me okay oh that one's got a lot of mold on it yeah no I think this punnet's done they're in the bin I'm literally feeling sick as I look at this she's holding them up to me and I'm like I'm like woman are we not paying you enough all right let me hear it what is your confessional Keish oh I forgot I haven't even told you yet okay this has got me so excited thank you for welcoming me to the brand new segment if you have a confessional please slide on into the dms at life uncut podcast on instagram we get a lot of messages where people

are like I don't know where to send this just send it just type the message it's also funny because every episode we tell you where to send it and people go hey is this where i send it i'm like yes girl right here drop it in okay this one had me literally in stitches laughing i was out one night and ended up back at a guy's house for drinks all the guys were around the fire and i went to the bathroom to check myself out i was totally wasted my makeup was absolutely nowhere i hadn't fake tanned or really prepared for the night as it was spontaneous and look i knew i wasn't looking my best i thought i could fix the situation if i could just find a little bit of foundation or maybe some bronzer. In this man's bathroom? Yeah, in this guy's bathroom. Hoping

this guy had a sister, I started looking in the bathroom drawer and cupboard. I couldn't find anything except for some betadine. I don't know what came over me, but I proceeded to rub the dark yellow antiseptic solution all over my body, trying to give myself that bronzed, glowy, freshly face tanned look no i went back outside and danced by the fire all night looking like someone who had a bad case of jaundice i hope no one could smell me i don't understand okay so just before we get into this because this has to be unpacked for anyone that doesn't know what betadine is it's like that antiseptic that you put on a cut or a wound or there can be betadine gargle that you mix with water for a sore throat and it's like it's like a deep rusty red color like it's it's it's very

distinct smell and a very distinct color so i'm and it stains too and it stains so i'm assuming everyone knows what better than is now to unpack this what the actual fuck were you thinking like wow and also bedding usually comes in like really small containers how did you think there's enough of that to rub on your body and make it look like a fake tan like i'm so confused you must have been so drunk that stuff is concentrated a little bit goes a long way brit i mean maybe she's the type of girl who also would eat the moldy punnet of blueberries because she's had to macgyver up some fate tan for herself and okay i i don't i would have been out i wouldn't straight out of there i would have i don't know because okay you put it on your body you put it on your face for blush like

trying to look like you've got this tan you definitely look like you've got a disease and then you go out to the fire and act like nothing happened you're like hey boys just had to freshen up in the bathroom how did no one notice she goes out and they're like are you experiencing liver failure because right now you are yellow you look like a simpsons character you should have just been a homer like backing into the bush away being like I have made a mistake I think we need to take you to the hospital oh my god that was so good this is why this this is why this new segment is so brilliant because there are things that you think no one would ever ever do and I'm sure you never told anyone that story so thank you so much for sharing that with us keep those coming in

all right should we get into some questions yep let's jump into some questions uh this first one i have for you brit very very juicy and i just want to remind everyone that this is a real person okay so before you get your judgment on this is a real person and we need some kindness i mean just so you guys know they're all real people every week are you gonna see why i needed to remind you of this though okay i've turned into someone i never thought i would i'm getting married in three months but I've been sleeping with someone I work with for two months I love my fiance I want to be with him we have our life together we want to start a family he is so amazing and so is our life I've been sleeping with a guy I work with for two months who is also married with two kids

it's the best sex I've ever had there's definitely feelings there beyond sex for both of us but I know I need to end it with him and focus on my partner we both agree we need to end it and want to stay with our current partners my question is how do we end it when it's hard to walk away from the sex and the connection that we have do we just stop talking or do we slowly cut it out of our lives please help me figure this out since I know you'll probably ask we both still have sex with our partners but for me there is definitely a sexual chemistry lacking and I feel like my partner doesn't want sex as much as I do I really really don't want to end things with my current partner. I haven't told anyone about this and it's been really hard not being able to talk to my

friends about it. I hope I can get some of your help. Oh my god, what are you doing girl? I feel so sorry, not for you but for your fiance. That is who I feel really sorry for. This is a really shitty situation and it's obviously very hard for you because you've developed feelings for someone else but the only reason you've developed feelings for someone else is because you've allowed yourself to develop those feelings. You've put yourself in a situation where you have become close and intimate with someone else that's not your fiancé and we all know that sex isn't ever just sex for women or very rarely. We get these dopamine hits and it becomes an addiction and we feel very intimate and close and these connections form even if you don't want them to. Your question here is

you're saying that you know you need to be with your partner and you need to end things with this person and it should, how do you end it? Should it be a soft fade out? Can you keep the contact? No, like it's not a soft fade. This is, this has to end. If you want to be with your partner, I mean, A, this shouldn't have happened, but we don't, I don't know what else is going on in your life. Obviously there's something that's not quite right because that's why you've gone to seek out someone else. You, if you want this relationship with your fiance to work, you need to 100% end this. And I think you need to cold turkey it. You just end it. You don't soft fade. you don't cut down to sleeping together once a week you don't contact each other anymore he has

a wife and kids like he has a whole family on the flip side of this if you're saying like we just have this real connection and if you think it's going to be hard to pull away from this other person that you're having an affair with then I don't think you should marry your fiance like I don't think you're in the right situation because if you have these really strong feelings for someone else and you're saying I don't know how I'm going to give him up and we have this real connection then I don't think you're marrying the right person so I think that you've got to really make a decision if you know you want to be with your fiance like you're saying then this shouldn't be hard for you you need to cut it and give everything you have to your fiance and I know

that this might not be what you want to hear and I think deep down you already know the answer I think you really do I think you know what's right you think you know what we're going to say but I think you want to hear somebody else tell you well that was why I actually like at the start of this I said I just want to remind everyone that this is a real person who is experiencing this because I'm not in any position to stand on a pedestal point the finger and say you're doing the wrong thing because you like the reality is she already knows that she is and you know she doesn't need us to kind of stand here and berate her about that but the question that you've asked is how do I stop this and I think that realistically if you work with this person that you're you're kind

of I guess what I'm reading between the lines is that is that you feel so sexually attracted to this person that you don't really trust yourself around them because you kind of let this innate desire take over when you're in their presence I think you need to put things in place so that you're not in their presence so whether that be that you are not alone together ever at work if you somehow find a way to implement that or I mean obviously you're going to have to have this conversation with this other person but as you've said he also wants to remain with his partner it sounds as though you need to put some actual physical boundaries in place and if that's not able to be done it might mean that you have to leave your job it might mean that you have to

kind of go that is who I used to be and I don't want that for myself I don't want that for my life with my partner that I do want to be completely dedicated to and I do want to be committed to and if that's what has to happen then maybe you need to look at that as an option because it's sounding like you already feel guilt about the situation and perhaps you can try and rewire your brain so that when you're around this person that you have been cheating with maybe it's good for you to picture something like the look on your partner's face if they were to find out picture what would happen if it was on your wedding day and all of a sudden this information got released to everyone in front of you and I think that if you can try and associate

feelings like that with this other person that you're cheating with I think that those feelings of that chemistry and that sexual desire could quite quickly be quashed because what you have riding on the line is so much more than just this innate desire to have sex with this person yeah but also like just have some self-control like honestly if you are I really do believe this and I know there's always temptations in relationships and for the rest of our life you're always going to have an attraction to someone else we're humans you're always going to look at someone and be like damn shorty like you're a babe that's so normal but if you can't if you cannot have any self-control around someone that you think is attractive, I don't think you're in the right

relationship and I'm not having to go at you personally. This goes for any relationship. If you marry someone and you're saying, I want to spend my life with them and they are of the understanding that you two are exclusive and you don't have an open relationship, then that is something you really need to commit to and honor and think about because maybe that isn't the life you want deep down. Maybe you're really comfortable. I also want you to keep in mind that it is a really normal thing when you're in a long-term relationship for the sex to change it's you don't have that same animalistic feeling where you want to be all over each other like you do at the beginning of a relationship it's different you still want to have sex and your

love making is different and your connection is different but it's not the same as it was and what you're feeling now with this person is a level of excitement you're doing the wrong thing you're sneaking around he's feeling the same thing too because he's sneaking around behind his wife and his children's back if you were in a long-term relationship with this person too the sex would probably end up exactly the same as it is with you now it would also die down the same as it has with his relationship so I think that that's really important something really important to think about and I know a lot of people that have written in in the past and a lot of people we've spoken to have said that this is what's happened they have met someone and they've left their

partner for this person because it was just like this all-consuming feeling that they'd never had before and the sex was amazing and they just wanted to be with each other all the time and after a couple of months six months they realized very quickly that it was it was a moment in time and it was more about the situation and it wasn't necessarily the connection was not this deep-seated connection where they were soulmates so I think you really need to sit down and just ask yourself what you want and if you don't want to marry your partner that's actually okay like that there is nothing wrong with that you just need to decide why you're making these decisions so think about what it is that's driving you to be with someone else is there more going on at home but if you

really really want to be with your fiance then like for me it needs to end there's no there's no slow fade off with this person you have an affair with it just needs to end I would just have one last conversation with him and say I'm absolutely committed to my relationship and this we cannot have any communication anymore and then that's it that's it you just have some self-control yeah I think what you were saying about the whole forbidden fruit vibe is very real like when you feel like you're doing something that's a bit naughty and it's so exciting you know we get addicted to that dopamine hit that rush of like this is such a thrill so I very much agree with you in that sense and I think that it's probably best you have said that you haven't told anyone

about this I actually think that this is the type of thing that would be really good for you to unpack with a psychologist just so that you can have that accountability you know these people are trained professionally for this and I think that if you do have someone that you can go to that is such a trusted source like a professional psychologist that might actually help you keep yourself on track because right now it sounds like you need someone to be accountable to. Yeah, you definitely need to have someone to talk to and I know I understand this is something

that you don't want to speak to your friends or anyone about but it's important that you are going through something that is pretty heavy and it's a big weight on your shoulders and it is confusing and I don't think it's the sort of thing you should ever have to keep just to yourself. So absolutely, if there's someone that you can reach out to and share this with and work through it, I think that that's 100% what you should do.

Yeah, and before, I'm just still thinking about it. Before, I don't want to just sound like I'm just having a go at this girl because I know people that have been in this kind of situation before that have done the wrong thing in their relationship. And there's always more to the story. It's never just like, I want to be a horrible person

and do the wrong thing to my partner. There is always more going on. But that is why I just think it's important you talk to someone about it and work out what you really want. I wholeheartedly agree with you, Britt. we are not here to put judgment on everyone we've all got our demons and we've all fucked up before so I'm not gonna point the finger at anybody yeah amen so let's jump into question number two okay

question number two I'm eight weeks into a new relationship with an absolutely amazing guy we are super compatible in so many ways he treats me like a goddess he's darn sexy and he's just a genuinely great human he's the first guy in my seven years of dating that I have felt there might actually be a future with, and I really want to give it my all. But, because there's always a but, when it comes to our beliefs, we are very, very different. He is religious. He's Christian. He takes his faith very seriously, whilst I consider myself to be more spiritual. I was raised Christian, but I don't agree with a lot of the teachings now, so I just no longer follow it. There are certain elements of Christianity, particularly around LGBTI matters, that I will

never agree with and I know that he and I will never see eye to eye on. He knows where I stand and claims to be okay with it but I worry that that might not always be the case. So my question is do you think you can be with someone long term who fundamentally holds very different views and beliefs to you? Usually I'm a bit of a let's play two sides of the coin here but for this I have a very, very clear answer, but I do think the answer is from my perspective. I do not think that you can be with someone where you have different belief systems. So whether that be your political views, whether that be your religious views, whatever it might be, the way that you see the world to me is a really, really important thing. And this actually, I grew up in a situation quite

similar to this. As I was a kid, my dad became very religious and it wasn't the thing that broke up my parents, but it kind of was the thing that broke up my parents because it impacts the way that you see so many different aspects of the world. And I think it really impacts the way that you want to raise your children as well. So I'm not religious, but I have dated someone whose father was the pastor of a church. And I remember thinking at the time, this could be a really big issue for us if we end up having children I don't want my children to be baptized I don't want them to be christened I don't want them to go to church because I don't believe in that kind of stuff but he really would have and it was again it wasn't the thing that broke us up but it was definitely

something in the back of my mind that I was like this is something that maybe I should be taken a little bit more seriously and now that I'm older I very much think that it is so important to be aligned on those kinds of things. Look I agree I do think you you 100% need to be aligned with where you see your life going how you want to raise kids the things that you can talk about the things you can support and believe your political agenda all of the above like it's very important that you're sort of on the same wavelength. Do I think you can be with someone with differences? I do I do think you can but only if they're not to the extreme only if you can both say like cool well I believe this and you believe that and that's just how it's going to be neither

of us are going to push our agenda on each other we're still going to be able to independently do what we want to do and believe in what we want to believe in there is a way that that can work I mean I dated someone I'm not religious and I dated someone for two years that was a Muslim and you know we were in love and we talked often about what the future would look like and he never actually tried to push anything on me which is the only reason it worked but where you start to come unstuck in these kind of relationships is and you're only eight weeks in so you might not have had these conversations yet but where you come unstuck is when children come into the picture because it changes the rest of your life and it's all day and it's every day and it's very important

that you're raising them how you want to raise them so if you don't agree on that and it's if it's the difference between them going to church or not going to church or anything else that comes along with your religion then it's it's going to be a problem whether you want to admit it or not so I think that it's hard for you it's really early days so maybe you need to have the conversation I couldn't be with someone and you brought up that there's a problem with LGBTI if my partner didn't or wasn't supportive of gay marriage or he was homophobic that for me is a deal breaker it just 100% is I'm so passionate about it that for me it's too much of a difference and it sounds like that's an issue in this because you've specifically singled that out but I also think

that this could and I hope I'm not projecting my own beliefs onto you because I would consider myself to be quite an outspoken and quite quite full-on in terms of the political space so for me it's really important that I would be with someone that had the same views as me maybe if you were more like a moderate person in things like you know religion political beliefs that kind of thing they kind of go hand in hand they cross over a lot maybe if you are a little bit more moderate this wouldn't be as big of an issue to you but you have said in your message to us that you will you know you're never going to agree or see eye to eye on some things like LGBTI matters so I think that for this one you need to firstly work out how big of an issue this will be for you and then

have a think about oh well you know is it better to just nip it in the bud now because this is not going to change we've got very different political and religious beliefs or is it that important to you I know in eight weeks you've been with him for eight weeks and I know because I fell in love with Jordan in eight weeks I know that you can have really strong feelings with someone in that short amount of time absolutely but it's definitely easier to extract yourself from a situation that you know is not going to work now than one year or two years in so I think if you know that you have those feelings now don't just put a band-aid on it and keep going I would front up and deal with it now Britt question for you how would you feel now however many months into being with

Jordan if you found out he voted no to the gay marriage debate like sorry needed to add that on the end if you found out he voted no to the gay marriage uh plebiscite I mean I'm very lucky I've been with him almost a year now but I'm very lucky that I know he didn't I know he's very supportive of that but it would honestly I would really I would discuss with I would have to have a discussion and say hey do you still feel that way I know you voted for that but do you still feel that way and is that the way you're going moving forward? And I don't think I could be with him. There's too many people in my life that I love very, very dearly that that would affect. So I just couldn't support it. I don't think I could be with it. It's just one of those things that I feel very,

very strongly about. I very much see what you mean. It's like, there's so many memes about this when it's like, if you fall in love with someone and then find out that they have at official in their Instagram handle, I feel like this is an actual real one where it's like, oh, if you fall in love with someone and then find out that they're a secret homophobe. Like if you fell in love with someone and then you found out they ate mouldy blueberries, would you stay with them? Yes, I would say they're very resourceful and they could be Bear Grylls if we're out in the wilderness.

But this is, again, like this is very individual to you. It's only if something matters to you that strongly that it's going to affect you. So for a lot of people it might not matter, but you've said it's obviously an issue. It's on your mind enough to write into us. So I think, yeah, have the conversation with them and really decide if it's what you want your future to look like.

rightio question number three question number three this one very topical right now because of some international travel restrictions apparently being lifted very excited with recent news of international travel resuming in the near future when a couple of my friends and i met recently we started dreaming of our future travels i have traveled with one of these friends before but not the other the friend i have traveled with before i would love to travel with again but i can't imagine traveling with the other friend despite knowing her most of my life because I already know that I would be really annoyed by her and I don't want that to affect our friendship when we caught up recently both friends said that we should plan a trip for the three of us next

year they were both so excited I just smiled and didn't comment if they bring it up again how do I approach the fact that I don't want to travel with one of them oh this is so awkward this is pretty awkward but okay so the first part of me wants to say you don't have to do anything you don't want to do you don't have to go on a trip this is your money that you're spending and you have waited a long time like of course you want to have an amazing time and of course you want to go wherever you want to go and make sure you're having fun on the other hand they're obviously very good friends and it's a bit of a tricky one because what other reason would you give them that you wouldn't want to go with them have you thought that maybe you guys could go on

a trip and do whatever you want to do maybe you could go on your own trip for a little while or with another friend and you could all just meet up for a week somewhere maybe you could say I really want to go and tick these places off let's all meet for sale Croatia and do a week together in Croatia and I'm sure if she's your lifelong friend for a week or two somewhere that's so amazing where there's more people it's not just you guys I'm sure you'd have a really amazing time so there's definitely ways around it and I think when I thought about this this is the way I would approach it I would say go and do what you want to do maybe there's someone else you can go with as well maybe it's another friend and then you guys can all meet up for like this one or two

weeks in the middle what do you reckon Keisha I think you and I are both in the very fortunate situation where we're both traveled a lot and one thing I remember this being such a big thing for me I was so specific about who I traveled with and a lot of the time that meant I traveled by myself yes yeah I have never had a friendship end because of traveling together but boy have I heard some stories of friendships crumbling under the pressure the one question I would ask myself before I would consider traveling with a friend of mine was how do they react when things don't go to plan because I think that is the best question you can ask because when you're traveling inevitably things are not going to go to plan you're going to have missed flights you're going

to have cancelled things you're going to lose stuff like one of you might get sick stuff isn't going to work out and I think that it's those situations where the people who respond to change and are very flexible and adaptive they shine but the people who don't they do not shine and those friendships will come crashing down I think it's like I think it's important to make sure you guys actually want to do the same stuff on a trip because there are some people that want to go traveling and they want to see museums and they want to go on the walking tours of the city and they want to do all that kind of thing they want to be really cultural there are other people that want to go because they want to party and they want to drink and they want to go to these yacht

weeks they're two very different experiences I think you all need to be on board with the same thing I remember I went traveling with one boyfriend once we went to we went traveling too soon like we didn't really know each other yet I was already going on a trip by myself he was like why don't I just come this is you guys might have heard me this is the guy I've talked about in the past where we broke up overseas in Vegas I broke up with me in Vegas we never saw each other again anyway it was him but my point was the reason we broke up is because we went on this trip traveling and we were so different we didn't want to do one thing that was the same I wanted to go on all these hikes I wanted to go adventuring I wanted to go cliff jumping and I

wanted to go on yachts and everything for me was like really outside and really adventurous and he wanted to just do this food tour he'd had booked all these um really random cafes he just wanted to eat he didn't wasn't into adventure he wouldn't go for hikes with me and I thought why we we are so different we don't want to do one thing that's the same right now this isn't going to work and we literally ended because we wanted different things traveling like and obviously that wasn't the end of the world but I just knew in that moment we were not right for each other but that's the thing if you don't know if you don't want to do the same thing as the people you're traveling with it's going to be disastrous totally and you can have friends in your life and to be

completely honest I'm sorry if any of my good friends are listening to this podcast and you know I'm talking about you I have some high maintenance friends I'm not being nasty they are not the ones that I would choose to go traveling with because I just I can see that being a disaster and by the sounds of it you like this person this person is your friend and you like hanging out with them in your actual life but it's a really really different situation to be around each other 24 7 experiencing different things it sounds like you already know that you don't want to travel with this person and you have your reasons for that so look I if it were me I would just be saying I would be coming up with some type of excuse just saying hey look what you

guys want to do sounds really great this one I'm going to sit out come up with a reason it can be anything it can be I'm gonna save for a different trip it can be oh I'm thinking about maybe going and doing this instead unfortunately it means that you are going to miss out on traveling with the one friend that you do want to travel with that you have traveled with before but in my opinion better to miss out on this trip than to ruin a friendship that you've had for most of your life yeah agree I'm glad we can agree on that well guys that is it for Ask Uncut thank you for coming in thanks for coming in and joining us today Keisha we absolutely love having you and Thanks for bringing your little confessional.

I hope more than anything you have thrown your blueberries out. Or if you haven't yet, they go straight in the bin after this record. No, I have not thrown out the punnets just yet. But don't worry, I'm still at your house. So by the time you get out of quarantine and you get back here, there'll be plenty of moldy blueberries left over for you. Great, can't wait. That's so nice of you.

But speaking of quarantine, before we wrap up, I just want to do a shout out to one of our listeners, Kelly. Oh my gosh, I saw this on your Instagram story. this was the most kind wildly lovely thing that someone has done it was like impossible for me to get this pasta because nowhere does it here no one delivered it here and I had like a little existential crisis but Kelly just found out where I was staying she went and got me the pasta she wrote me a note she dropped it to reception and she was like I hope this makes your quarantine better and it absolutely did so that's my little shout out to Kelly that was really really amazing

guys give your questions coming in to Life Uncut podcast Instagram slide on into the DMs also keep your Accent Unfiltereds and your confessionals and anything else you think that we would want to hear. Yeah, I actually kind of love so much that it doesn't even need to be a segment anymore. If something that you think is funny happens, just message us. We'll find a space for it. If you fuck up, tell us.

We'll call it Fuck Up Friday. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your fish, tell your cat, tell your neighbour and share the love. Is that how it goes? You usually do that, but you're a lot better at it. I'm so much better at it. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.