Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - I love you, but I don't want to buy property with you

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Happy Ask Uncut day Lifers,Today we are starting the episode with a bit of low brow lols. We find out just how much we'd need to pay both Britt and Laura to send us a jar of their farts. Everyone has a price amiright?!Jumping into your questions for today:1. My partner didn't invite me to his work Christmas party and partners are invited. I'm pregnant and we have a 1 year old, but I'm hurt and wondering if I should be suspicious of this?2. I'm in a loving relationship but I've never been with anyone else. My boyfriend loves me so much and sees a future with me. I want to experience other people. I don't think he will be okay if I end things though. Help!3. My partner of 4 years and I had a plan to buy a house together. They've just told me that now they want to buy a house themselves. What am I meant to do? What does this mean about their commitment to me and our relationship?If you've loved the ask uncut advice this year, we'd really appreciate a sneaky review if you haven't already left one. It really helps us!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!! x xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany and we are on the homestretch. Christmas is one week and two days. I don't know. Who's counting? What date is it? Who am I? We're on the home stretch. I actually can't believe how close we are to Christmas and New Year's and coming in fresh to 2022. This isn't our last episode. I'm just excited by the fact that we're nearing the end. We have like a whole extra week of episodes. Brit's just already checked out. Here she is. I am. I feel like I'm slowly checking out. How are you this week, Laura? I'm good. I have a great fucking

article to share with you guys today. I cannot tell you how much joy this brings me. It's also very low brow. This is not a high brow article, just to make sure that everyone is on the same page. I'm not going to learn anything from this article, am I? You are going to gain nothing from this article. So strap yourselves in. Here's the headline. It's on news.com. US reality TV star makes $70,000 selling her farts in a jar. What? I can't. I swear I cannot make this shit up. Okay. Firstly, I need to know what the reality tv show was i need to know what genre this was her name is stephanie matto and she was on a series which is pretty huge in the us you can also view it here it is called 90 day fiance i can't remember

what streaming services is on but this is irrelevant to the cause she has progressed in life she is selling her farts in a jar not only is she selling farts in a jar she sells them for 1,000 US dollars and made $70,000 in one month. Good on her. $70,000. Okay. What is she eating to fart that much? How do you fart that much? Brittany, I'm so glad you asked because she actually created a TikTok video, which described how she creates such, such vigorous gas, so much gas. I wish I was making this article up. Stephanie documented the process in a now viral tiktok last month revealing how her typical work day involves getting things rolling with some beans a protein muffin a hard-boiled egg a protein shake and yogurt for breakfast and after doing her

business into the jars stephanie likes to add several finishing touches to make the farts more personal she likes to put flower petals inside each jar hang on i have so many questions firstly brilliant protein farts are the worst anyone that has dated an athlete or someone that's into their crossfit or exercise or someone that has a high protein diet protein farts are the absolutely worst thing on this earth moving along why would you contradict the fart smell with the flower petal smell like what is that about because i thought if someone was buying your fart they want to buy your fart they want to buy the stinky smelly fart nobody in this world's fart smells like flower petals and if you say that they are you are absolutely wrong unless you're

eating incense what are the flowers about well apparently it attaches i don't know she says that she thinks it makes the smell last longer like the smell attaches to the flower petals but my question is what is the purpose like is it a one use only like is it a one one time use have a liquor like a shot of fart or is it a mantelpiece like you're someone who buys this and then goes oh that's stephanie matto's fart in a jar nah like what are you using it for i think for sure 100 someone is super excited about this it's a one-hit wonder they're sitting in their room they've got prepared because they know that this is one event you know how like okay this is similar but not similar you know this is what i'm like when i make my dinner at night just bear with me

on this train of thought jesus christ when i make my dinner at night and i'm gonna watch a movie or a tv show i have this thing where like i can't start eating the meal until i am settled i need to have picked the show it needs to be on i need to have my little nest of pillows on the lounge i need to be really settled and then i can start to eat i just can't do it i think whoever is buying these farts is doing the same thing i imagine them in their room they're sitting up because they know they get one shot they get one shot once they release that lid the fart is out in the stratosphere i reckon they're sitting up their room they're making themselves comfortable they've got their music playing whatever they want put a bit of michael buble on 100 and then

i think they release the fart and i think it must be a purely for a smell i think they're going to smell it in and then it's gone what other reason would you have it is it for during sex maybe like as you're orgasming it's a whole thing i don't think so it could be a kink i don't know people have lots of different kinks you can sell your underwear online you can sell pictures of your feet online there's there is a market for everything online i wonder if she has anywhere on her sites or tiktoks or instagrams the reason people buy it like i wonder if people are writing to her and she's getting that feedback because that would be really interesting no she did say that she had been asked to sell so many different types of her personal items whether it be her

dirty undies or use socks or whatever. And she was trying to find a niche that maybe nobody else had kind of monetized yet, which is how she got onto this. But there are so many questions around this. Like what if you ate really expensive food? Does that then determine the price of the fart? Like, can you have a truffle fart or a caviar fart? Or is it a kebab fart? Like where does this go? I don't know. But I think that, I think that there'll be a lot of people out here clocking this idea, thinking there might be some subcategories into the selling the fart. Do you know what for $70,000 a month Stephanie is the real winner here if you could make $70,000 a month but one other thing is this adding like emissions to the environment like is she contributing to

the environment's decline by purposely producing excess gas yes Stephanie is the reason that there is like methane poisoning climate change we've got a 50 degree day coming tomorrow and it's all Stephanie's fault no my question is Brit we get contacted about some pretty weird stuff online if somebody sent you a dm and said they were going to send you a thousand dollars no one would know if you farted into a jar for them and express posted it would you do it sure i mean you know what the trick the trick with these questions is no one knows you're like well i mean like sure why not if no one's ever gonna know it's a thousand bucks if you were going to do the fart anyway like i wouldn't go out of my but like if you're doing it i wouldn't want to add

to the decline in the climate so i wouldn't be going to purposely make myself do it i wouldn't be eating any beans but if you were going to do it anyway so if the time came and i felt like i needed to do one sure maybe i'll get a thousand bucks for it okay but where is the line would you sell your dirty underwear for a thousand dollars absolutely not i would not that makes my skin crawl what about five thousand dollars for dirty underwear no you couldn't pay me for a million that's a lot everything has a price anyone who tells you they won't do something just up the price what would you fight in a jar for oh a couple hundred bucks 50 if no one's gonna know i'll slide you a 50 to do it to see you do it i'll do it for you for free all right let's get

into the questions anyway we are actually doing an entire episode on kinks next week on tuesday so i thought this was the perfect segue you know what it's all right to be a bit kinky you live your best life all right let's get into some ask uncut questions question number one my husband has not invited me oh this is christmas related my husband has not invited me to his work christmas party and partners are invited oh for background we have a beautiful one-year-old daughter have been married for four years and i'm 14 weeks pregnant with our second child when i questioned him about it he said he just didn't think i'd want to come because i'm pregnant and it would mean we would need to organize a babysitter am i being unreasonable to be upset that i wasn't

invited by him basically that he assumed I would babysit our child where he went out to celebrate with his work buddies should I be worried is this sus behavior yo man wants to party your man wants to party I think you are not being unreasonable no I think that it is completely reasonable for you to want to join your partner at his work Christmas party when partners are invited and there are other partners going so first and foremost please don't think you're crazy. Please don't think you're overreacting. That is absolutely warranted. I'm just wondering if in your partner's head deep down, he's like, oh, this could be my night off. It could be my night off with kids. It could be my night off responsibility. I might be able to have some

beers. Do I think it's such behavior and that he is doing the wrong thing? I don't think so, but I don't know him. You would know those gut feelings. I think he's a man. He probably just didn't really think it through. He probably didn't think of the repercussions or how that would make you feel I am going to go with no I don't think he is doing anything suspect but I think you can absolutely make your feelings clear to him yeah I agree with Brit I think it's probably too hard to jump to the conclusion of instantly like oh he must be cheating on you the bastard but obviously obviously he just didn't think of you like he thought like that's that I'm saying he's cheating on you which one's worse yeah he just he just didn't really consider you in this equation and

obviously I know what it feels like it's a bit shit when you're pregnant because like you feel like oh you you know especially if normally you're somebody who does have a few wines and you feel like you're the life of the party when you're pregnant especially in the early trimester you can be a bit have morning sickness there's all these other things you know that don't necessarily equate to woohoo let's have a fucking turnt Christmas party so he probably just sees this as more of a he would have to compromise his good night because you're probably going to get to 10 PM. You're going to want to go home early. And these are all assumptions. You may not, you may be an absolute wild child. Yeah. And I don't mean like that you're out drinking when

you're pregnant. What I mean is, is like, you might be someone who is still able to kind of be amongst the party when you're pregnant and you don't mind other people being drunk, but he probably just thinks you won't feel comfortable. He made an assumption that assumption was wrong and he shouldn't have done that. And he should have still included you and given you the opportunity to make that decision because it can be really fucking isolating when you're the pregnant person who just feels like a little bit of an inconvenience which is kind of how he's made you feel now I just think it's a very open conversation and I think once you've had that open conversation you should get an invite I don't think like if this is already something

that's come up on the table and he's like oh you know yeah partners are invited but you know I didn't invite you and you've made it clear that you want to go and you have the capacity to organize a babysitter then why haven't you now been invited yeah if you that's a really good point if you have brought this up you've had the conversation and you've said I want to go and he has still said basically no then there is definitely more at play here and there's something more that I'd be investigating and I'd be really uncomfortable with that I'd just probably turn up just organize your own babysitter just be like surprise that's a terrible idea don't do that I am at the work Christmas party that is probably something I would do but all you can do in this situation is make

Kim understand how you feel and maybe you don't actually want to go maybe you just wanted the invitation so that you could decline it who knows but the facts in this question are you weren't invited to the Christmas party that's upset you you need to have the conversation if he doesn't rectify that and he doesn't say I'm so sorry let's get you a babysitter and get you here then there's another conversation that needs to happen we can't really tell you what to do in that sense but your number one question here was like are you overreacting I hope he hasn't made you feel like you're overreacting because that would probably be a level of gaslighting but no you're absolutely all these feelings are warranted and you'll probably be slightly slightly more

emotional anyway because you've got all these fresh hormones running through your body yeah I mean I hate chopping it up to hormones because I think it's an excuse yeah and it's also like when a guy says oh have you getting your period it's like the same thing it then invalidates your feelings of being upset and I and I hated that when I was pregnant and I would feel emotional about something who knows if it was because of the hormones who knows if it's just because I was fucking angry maybe I'd feel like that anyway totally and like you know what maybe you're still on maternity leave maybe you've not gone back to work I don't know what the actual situation is with this family you said you have a one-year-old daughter so there's a good chance that maybe you're

in between your career at the moment and you didn't get to have a work Christmas party either so there's a real feeling of being left out in general especially when your entire life becomes all about taking care of the kids and your partner's life still gets to go on in some ways in the same way unaffected you feel like you're the one making all the sacrifices and that's really unfair to be doing that on your own I think you know having some really open conversations about just feeling supported feeling included feeling valued that that might kind of just give him a little bit of a kick up the butt in regards to the fact that just because you're pregnant and just because you're a mum doesn't mean that you're a completely different person to who you were two

years ago and that you don't still enjoy doing and being included in the same way that you would have been pre having kids I feel like we have kind of unpacked that I think so I think go to party yeah but I do hate I hate this idea that like once you have children you aren't the same person anymore like you're viewed differently even sometimes friends don't invite you to things because they I'm not this is not looking at you yeah I'm like okay this is going to be no no no once you're a mom sometimes you don't get invited to things anymore especially when your friends don't have kids because they assume that you won't want to go and don't get me wrong the majority of times you would say no because you can't possibly you know get a babysitter every time but in the

off chance or with a bit of planning that you could be included it's like that can be it can be a hard conversation with your relationships it can be a hard conversation with your friendships It's a very big and weird transition when you have kids. I'll invite you to every single thing they do. I'm actually going to the toilet right now. Would you like to come? Can I hold your hand? All right, let's get into question number two.

I am in a happy relationship, but I want to be single. That is the heading for this question. Hi, ladies. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We started dating when I was 20 and he was my first for everything. I had never slept with anyone or even kissed anyone else. Lately, I've been wondering what it would be like to be with other men. I feel incredibly guilty for this because I know my partner loves me, but so many of

my friends have had a bit of a sexual phase that have allowed them to explore their sexualities and I just haven't had that. I have a higher libido than my partner and I often wonder if there's a more compatible guy out there for me. We get along great. We are best friends. He told me that if we break up, he will never date anyone else. but I know if we break up, I would just get right back out there. He's also much more experienced

than me and feels like I'm the perfect partner for him. How do I get over this feeling that I want to sleep with, date other men when I know my current boyfriend loves me so much? Okay. Firstly, not that it's irrelevant. It's very, very important that your partner loves you. That's a critical, that is a crucial part, but like it's, it's not necessarily about him and him loving you do you love him back do you feel that way about him if the answer is no and you're only in the relationship because of how well he treats you and how much he loves you and how heartbroken he would be if you left unfortunately they're not good enough reasons I mean it's very important to care about your partner's feelings and all of the rest of it but I'm gonna say

something which might be a bit controversial he will be devastated if you break up but he will be okay and breakups are very fucking hard I remember in my earlier years thinking I would never ever ever recover from my breakup and I would never be able to date again if my partner broke up with me and he broke up with me and I got over it eventually took me a long time but I got over it and I think that you know sometimes we can feel and stay in relationships longer than than their expiration date because we're so worried about the other person's feelings and we've actually mentally checked out. I'm not saying that that's the case for you yet. I don't think you've necessarily mentally or emotionally checked out of this relationship, but I do think that that

can be a huge reason why people stay far longer than they need to. There are a few things here that I really want to point out. And I want you, if you were the person that wrote this in, I want you to reread what you wrote and rethink about what you wrote, because basically your whole question is that you are worried about his feelings so everything you've said is he won't get back out there he won't date again you can't pity date a guy he loves me so much these are all really great things like laura said but these are not reasons to stay in a relationship your literal heading of your question i'm in a happy relationship but i want to be single your heading is i want to be single you've then gone on to say that you're thinking about being with other people

now you can be in a relationship and happy and still cross your mind about being with other people that like this there's natural human thoughts to be like but it depends are these thoughts where you're walking past someone hot on the street and you're like damn he's so hot and then you don't you move on i think that these are all natural human thoughts we all look at attractive people we all have our little fantasies we wonder but if you are actually sitting at home with your partner thinking i want to be out there single i want to be out there kissing someone on the dance floor. I want to know what it's like to have sex with someone else. These are also normal feelings because you are 21 and you haven't experienced them with anyone else. So I want

you to know that that is a really, really normal feeling. I am never going to sit here and say to you guys, yes, someone needs to break up. No, I don't think you should. Cause we have such a limited amount of information. So I'm based on what you have said. You've said that if you break up you would be fine but he wouldn't so I honestly believe and I have been in this position before I think you're staying in a relationship out of guilt you feel bad for the other person you think he's never going to meet anyone else I have a fucking funny story about that actually I was with I was with a very beautiful person for eight years like a really really long time and when we both I think deep down we both knew the relationship was coming to an end and we're

just growing in different directions but I remember a big part of it was he's never going move on he's never gonna move on he's not gonna find anyone what if he doesn't like I just want him to be happy but I just feel like he's going to be so stuck because like the like in your situation he was like I just want to be with you forever I was so concerned about him and in my head exactly like you said I was like I'm gonna get out there I'll be fine like I know I'm a really bubbly person I'll meet people and I was so concerned about him he met someone almost like a couple months after he was in a new relationship and they were amazing they were together for years and years and years and he was happy i was single for 10 fucking years i was like this

backfired on me big time i just don't think he could stay in a relationship based on worrying about someone else and like laura said a hundred percent and this has nothing to do with you he's 21 he or he might be older than you i'm not sure we get like in this feeling in ourself where we're like i would never if i broke up with this person i will never date again they're the only person for me they will they 100% will that's as this is a natural human process this is part of the journey and also this is what dating is dating is you can be head over heels in love with someone and they're not the right person for you so you love your partner absolutely you've said that that doesn't mean you have to stay and that doesn't mean it's the right relationship we all

know we can love the most toxic people we all know we can love people that are so wrong for us so that again in itself is not a reason to stay I had a relationship once where I mean we did it for like, ah, four years, five years. I kind of remember exactly now, but about the three year mark, I knew that it wasn't the right relationship. I loved him. He was my best friend. I didn't really want to have sex with him, but he was fucking great. He was a great guy. He's still a great guy, but I stayed in that relationship for probably a year longer than I should have because I didn't want to hurt him. And also on top of that, I fucking loved our life. Like we had a great life together and I knew what I would be sacrificing, but it got to a point eventually

where I was like, no, I know that we as a couple, like this is not my penguin and I need to make these decisions for myself. And it was incredibly, incredibly hard. Now I reckon so many people listening to this has probably been in similar situations where it's the, it's the hurting someone's feelings that keeps you in it for so much longer. Are we sitting here saying break up? Absolutely not. What I think you need to do is kind of unpack, are these fantasies? Is this, the grass is always greener as a situation. Are you kind of just, you know, I mean, literally everybody fantasizes about other people at some point in time in their relationship and fantasies are not real. They don't impact your relationship necessarily. And you certainly don't need to act

on them. You also don't need to feel guilty for having them. It's a normal part of just the human experience and being a sexual being. Now, the point of difference here is if you get to a point where you really want to act on them. If you are going to go out and cheat on your partner because you feel like you need to have more sexual experiences, it's better to just kind of call it quits than to treat your partner in a bad way or to do something that you're going to end up regretting. So I think there'll come a point where you just have to be really honest with yourself, unpack what it is about your partner that you really love, what it is about the relationship that you really love. Do you think that it has the potential to be your forever relationship?

And some people are lucky enough to find their forever relationship in their first relationship. but if you feel that these feelings of like I'm not not happy I really have desire that I want to go out and experience the world then you know what then maybe it's time to experience that as well do you know I actually had a friend that she was married quite young to her partner from like her school love and they just after a few years grew apart they wanted different things they you know wanted to go out and explore the dating world I guess and I just thought they went right for each other so they split up divorced moved on uh dated other people went and had this wild life for like eight or nine years and didn't even stay in contact like it was just it was over

then they ran into each other in a supermarket nine years later they're now remarried again with the child so it was just it was a point of like they were together young they thought it wasn't right they wanted to go and explore the world on their own and they found their way back to each other i'm not saying that's what you're going to do but i just think that's a really beautiful it just it just struck me I think you're probably not gonna have that experience but like it's another beautiful story I don't think anyone's had I've never heard an experience like that but I just thought it just is this really beautiful idea of that these two people followed what was right for them at the time and they're lucky that the universe brought them back together

but they my point is they listened to themselves in that moment and they knew that at that point of their life they were young they were thinking of a life on their own and doing different things one wanted to travel one didn't and they listened to it and it worked out so I think that as long as you're honest with yourself and you listen to what your gut is telling you but you are young you're 21 you're thinking of dating other people and that is 100% natural you said you feel really guilty but that is not something to be guilty over if you went and cheated on your partner yes feel guilty but the idea of you thinking maybe what you're in isn't right and maybe there's something else out there for you don't feel guilty about that it's just it's a really unfortunate situation

breakups are never ever easy especially if you're the one that is going to leave like that and you know that you're going to hurt someone's feeling that's fucking tough like that is that is so so hard but just ask yourself is that a reason to stay the only other thing I want to say on this is like I know that we have so many young listeners too and I never want people to listen to this and think that we are old ages and think we know better because we're in our 30s because we're definitely not the case. And I, and we've said it before, but I know so many people who have gotten into relationships young and their relationships are awesome. And they've stayed together forever and they've stayed together forever and they have kids and they're married.

And you know what? They just met their penguin really early and they were committed. The difference is, is that neither of them went through big, long periods where they were unsure about the relationship or they had this like overwhelming desire to go out and be with other people. They kind of always just knew that they got lucky and they met that person. So I think that is the big thing that makes this conversation a bit different it's like if you at 21 have this huge urge to be single if you don't want to be in your relationship if you're not happy then go and be single and explore and you know live your live your great single girl life yeah and on that point just as an example my girlfriend literally just left here 10 minutes before the record she came

over for lunch I haven't seen her in a long time but we were just catching up and she has been with her partner her husband now but for 17 years they got together when we're at school we were like 15 or 16 when they got together and they are happier than they have ever been and that's exactly what Laura's just saying you can meet like age isn't the number in this it's not the defining factor she literally said like we've been together 17 years and I feel like we're still kids meeting each other and I thought that is goals you that is what you want and the reason that's worked for so long is because they haven't thought about going out and being with anyone else so that's just something to consider but anyway you all you can do is do what is right for you and i wish you

the best of luck all right i reckon we did that question to death i love it though i could talk about that stuff for ages age est i really do relationships okay question number three i think this is a hard one and i'd love to know your take on this brit so i'm lucky we're doing ask where you ask the question and we answer what a real treat okay this one I am just going to surmise it because it was a really long question that came in but basically the person who's written in has been in a relationship with their partner for four years they have spoken about buying a house together they've spoken about their long-term goals being together forever they're very very sure that this is their penguin and all the conversations that they've had leading

up to this point would indicate that they're both on the same page. Anyway they're both individually saved deposits to put towards buying a house and her partner has come to her in the last week and said I'm ready to pull the trigger on buying a house but I want to buy it on my own but we can live in it and you can pay some rent towards it. Now the question is and I think the big take-home message was is this a sign that this person is not committed to me and not committed to the relationship and basically what should I do what are my options in this whole situation ship should I move in pay rent should I say no we've got to buy it together what can I do that's really tough oh it's a real pickle and there are some serious conversations that need

to be had I I really feel for you in this situation because you I mean four years you committed you know you want to be together you've had a plan to buy a house together i think if i was in that position and then my partner turned around and said do you know what i'm gonna do it on my own but you can just live with me and pay my mortgage i'd probably tell him to get fucked that would be my excuse my french ladies and gentlemen but that would be my initial get the fucked well i mean like and when you first think of this question you're like oh okay you know what like if somebody wants to buy a house on their own that's cool that is absolutely fine it's just something that you got to talk about and work together and you can work

through it but it's the i'm gonna buy i'm gonna secure and look after my future on my own but then you can't have a part of that anymore but what you could do is contribute to my mortgage and pay my house off for me but you're not entitled to anything oh that doesn't sit right with me at all if they're wanting to buy a property as an investment that is different and you're both living in another house together paying the rent and they just own that investment and then maybe you could do the same because you said you've been saving for a deposit too maybe you can go and buy your own investment that's another kettle of fish what doesn't sit right with me is that I'm going to buy something and look after my own future. And you can contribute

to paying that off. A hundred percent. Big fat no for me. I, when I first read this, I was like, oh, look, I get it. You know, maybe they're not at a point yet where they're ready to make that full commitment. You know, maybe they're not ready. Maybe they're not a hundred percent. Maybe they're not. And so therefore they want to go out and do this on their own. The start of my process, I was like, look, I kind of get it. But then I tried to think of it from the other side. And I was like, after four years of being in a relationship with someone, I would hope that they had gotten to a point especially like sorry this is an important part I missed out they're in their 30s I would hope that after four years my partner had gotten to

a point where they were pretty sure that they wanted to be with me and that that our relationship had some long-term prospects to them and that we were working towards common goals together and money is such a huge issue it's we know that after cheating it is the second biggest thing that couples have relationship breakdowns over. So it's one of those things where the conversations need to be free flowing around it. And I would feel quite blindsided if I had thought that we were working towards having this property investment or having this home that we're building together to then be told, oh, actually I'm going to do it on my own and you can just help prop up my financial stability. Now, the other part of this and something I really think

you need to consider, I understand that there's going to be some people listening to this who live in their partner's house and pay rent towards their partner's house and that arrangement works for them. With this in mind, the only thing that kind of rings some alarm bells for me is that what you're doing here is you're giving them a whole lot of power. Not only are you contributing to their mortgage which sets them up financially, if they then sell the house, just say you contribute over the years $100,000 to a property or $200,000 to a property, that to you is no money that you're going to make back and when they sell the house or they do whatever if they refinance all that money then goes to them so they're really just

taking from you to be able to create their own wealth and their own investment portfolio and well-being one thing that you can do in this situation and this is probably going to get a couple people's backs up but hear me out if they are so insistent on buying a property for themselves that you're not a part of but you can live in that property and that's what they want don't pay rent totally and i think that that's going to be weird for some people but i i think if exactly like you said brit buy an investment property and then rent and live somewhere else but unless you've mutually agreed to paying off somebody else's mortgage who's your partner i don't think you should have to pay rent either and it's different there's there's some very

specific things that we want to just drive home here it's different if you have met somebody if i started dating you laura and you already owned a house and then we decide to move in together that's different I would probably move in and I would pay rent because you're that was pre-existing it was a situation that was already there they already live there it makes sense and it's a room that they could have rented out to somebody else if not their partner yes but this situation is only different because that opportunity was there you were both working towards that and that has been taken away from you you have to have the conversation with them you have to ask them what their reasoning is is it because they don't see a future with you is because they don't trust

you? What is the reason they have just flipped? That's what I would want to know. I would want to say, hang on, back up, hold up. W-T-A-F is happening in your brain. It would ring some alarm bells for me. And I don't want to say that to scare you, but I'm just trying to put myself in that position. I'd say, okay, cool. We're four years in, we're just about to do this together. This has always been in the plan. You've flipped what's going on and then you need to work from it from that. But I think that if they are adamant that they are buying the house on their own and they want to live in it then yes I think you can say well I might put that right now that I can't afford a house on my own what I would be paying in the rent I might just put into my own deposit

so I can try and get into the same position as you so instead of saying okay I'll keep paying you $300 rent a week you put that $300 into your savings so that you can be in a position that you were supposed to be in anyway or maybe even if it's half like maybe okay maybe saying no rent is a bit severe maybe you pay bills maybe you pay half rent or you make some contribution but like not paying like market value on that mortgage the other thing as well is and like not to get too fucking home loan deposit technical but if they've bought the house and you both live in it that becomes your place of residence right so there's no tax implications because it's not an investment property for them but if you then go buy a house and yours is the investment property when you sell

that property you get hit with a massive tax bill so not only has he taken the option away from you to own a home it's taken the residency option away from you so you incur a much greater tax debt down the road that was a lot and I only know it because we bought a house and it's all very weird and very technical and it's just it's a big commitment to buy a home but I would think after four years and growing your lives together that at the very least it deserved a conversation not a statement yeah so I think to start with you need to find out the reason the reason that they've changed their mind the reason that they've flipped the reason that they want to go down this path instead of doing it with you and then you need to work from there but you need to start at the

foundation why things have changed and then work out how you feel about it and what you want in the future well it's a pretty big statement isn't it I feel like it's a pretty big statement yeah I would be really I would be really upset by that I've been really trying to sit in this in your position and I would be very very upset if I thought that I was creating a life with someone and then they pulled that rug out from underneath me yeah I'd be a bit like cool is this because you don't see a future with me or talk me through that well it's like I love you but I'm not a hundred percent sure like I'm pretty sure but I'm not a hundred percent sure which is okay they're absolutely entitled to not be a hundred percent sure you just need to know why but yeah be fucking

honest about it if you're not a hundred percent sure hey let's put the cards on the table and have a conversation don't waste my time while you figure it out yeah okay I got mad sorry anyway i think that's it that is it please keep the questions coming in to our instagram life uncut podcast just make sure you put ask uncut at the top keep your confessionals coming in your accidentally unfiltered anything that you think is worth us knowing about you know what maybe there is a category we haven't thought about yet maybe something has happened to you and you're like there is not even a category for this on life uncut create the category tell us and send it into the dms if you haven't left us a sneaky little review or five stars or hit

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