Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Infiltrating the click

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

Happy therapy Thursday Lifers!Today we're jumping into your questions with a toughy!-I don't agree with my parent's morals. They're racist and I don't want my children growing up around those kinds of perspectives. Do I cut them off from seeing my children? -I'm feeling really left out at work. My colleagues are all friendly with each other and do things outside of work...without me. How do I infiltrate 'the click' and become friends with them?-I've made a new friend. We chat ALL the time. I have a boyfriend and I'm feeling a bit bad because I'm not sure if my new friend thinks that we are going somewhere romantically. Am I doing anything wrong? He doesn't know that I have a boyfriend!If you haven't joined our podcast group, all the good stuff goes down there! Life uncut discussion group!Chuck us a review if you've got a spare sec & share the love!xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut, it is Thursday, Thursday is the day before Friday but Thursday is also Ask Uncut Day, it is our short, sharp, down and dirty sexy and somewhat questionable ask uncut session you guys write in your questions and we try our best to answer them i'm britney and i'm laura and that was probably the best fucking intro you have ever done i like that every week we commend each other on our intros and that one was really spicy i am here for it thoroughly enjoyed it thank you please come again to be fair like we don't prepare these ever we just come in and steamroll them out whatever comes off the tongue but in like literally we just press record we're like let's go Laura goes

you better make this good I was like okay to be fair though we have been doing the exact same thing for two years now so you would think that we were slightly more experienced at it but um apparently not anyway uh I know that we have a couple of things to talk about before we get into answering all your deep dark and dirty questions what have you been reading what have you been thinking I just think this is so funny now you had to I know you've read it because we've chatted about it. You guys, I hope a lot of you are across it, but if you aren't, you may or may not have heard of Craig Kelly. Now, Craig Kelly is one of our very questionable politicians. He's a member of the United Australians Party and Craig Kelly has been doing us dirty. Now, Craig Kelly thought

it was a brilliant idea. I don't know where he got this from, but he thought it was a brilliant idea to send mass spam text messages to millions of Australians preaching misinformation about covid now 8 000 people already have put complaints into the spam act board now i didn't even know there was a spam act board but it's amazing what you can find out when you do some googling usually we get these sort of messages from retailers or companies that we've shot with before and there's and i know this because we do edms with tony may like there's legislation around what you can email the frequency how you can actually get someone's data and then contact them so that you're not spamming someone to purchase a product but interestingly politicians are completely

exempt from the spam act and so some of you guys might have even received this text message but this is what a lot of australians woke up to one day you can never trust the liberals labor or greens again authorized by craig kelly united australian party click on this link and then it's got a link to whatever the inside is okay he's like the you up text from the guy that just won't leave you alone that's the last message you want to receive when you wake up in the morning and it's just the most annoying thing is usually like you just said laura if you get a text message or an email or someone from a company that's just hassling you, there's always a big fat unsubscribe button at the bottom. You cannot unsubscribe from Craig Kelly. Now something

brilliant has happened in response and this has got to be the best response I have ever seen in the history of responses. There is a party that has come out and they're very aptly named Cockblock Craig Kelly. Now say that 10 times fast, I dare you. Cockblock Craig Kelly. Now this party has decided they've put a go fund me out they've put a call out they're like guys you can donate to this party because in response to craig kelly we decided to raise fifteen thousand dollars so that we can send him to his place of residence one thousand dicks like literally a thousand dicks they are fundraising to have a thousand dicks and i mean dicks is in like their dildos their little dildos their big dildos the different sizes and they wanted to deliver them to his

door and I was like this is the best thing that has happened this year. This is literally the call to action of the website. If we can't stop the UAP from texting us with dangerous misinformation then we reckon the next best thing is to deliver Craig a message he can't ignore. A very big bag of dicks. Politician parties are exempt from anti-spam wars. Craig Kelly is using this loophole to spread health misinformation that puts everyone at risk. The funniest part of this though and it does get funnier is that somehow someone has released Craig Kelly's number to the population so people started to spam him back with messages so he changed his number obviously that's what you're going to do because you can't have a whole nation spamming you he changed his number and

there are companies that keep finding out his number and they keep releasing it so he can't escape he's being bombarded daily with text messages back and some of them there are websites with them some of the text messages back are so fucking funny but look as funny as it is to laugh at the fact that we are bombarding him with text messages and we're asking you to donate. This party's asking you to donate money so that they can send a bag of dicks. Something good actually is coming out of this because cockblock Craig Kelly will actually donate $7

to a charity immunising people against coronavirus in developing countries. So for every single donation you do, they're going to donate $7 to immunising people. So basically the pro of this is Craig gets sent a bunch of dicks, we stop him from spreading misinformation and developing countries are getting immunisation. So I feel like this is a win-win situation. I think it's wild, though, because, like, Craig has actually doubled –

I like the way we're calling him first name, like Craig. He's just our mate now. Craigie. Oh, Craigie boy. Craigie boy has doubled down. Kelldog. He has doubled down. He's like, I'm not doing anything illegal,

so therefore I'm not going to apologise for spamming the Australian nation. And it's like, no, you're not doing anything illegal. You are pursuing a loophole that exists in the Spam Act. And you're fucking annoying. yeah and it's annoying like even if you are somebody who is a supporter of UAP you're entitled to have your own political parties you didn't opt in to receive text messages and it's just so intrusive I think the big question that everyone has is how did the UAP go about acquiring these phone numbers in the first place and was how they acquired those phone numbers legal and

I'm gonna say that most of us consent to our information being used almost daily without realizing like often when we all visit a website we'll just tick like yeah okay accept cookies accept this accept that because we want to be able to go and visit the website like it's almost a subconscious thing that sometimes we opt into without realizing but it just goes to show how our information can be used by things that we have absolutely never engaged in and have no interest in receiving they actually make it that now that you've talked about cookies they make it so hard on any website like no I'm being serious. You're like Bennett Street Dairy it's so great. I have the article up in front of me right now about Craig Kelly and at the bottom of it I'm looking

at it we use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience I'm like is this Craig Kelly I was like is this is this a ploy if you try to suck me in but if they make it so hard and sometimes they give you the option they're like hey you can also customize your cookies if you want they make it so hard to customize a cookie that you just don't do it you're like just let me into the site just take all my money take my information take my passcodes just let me read the news article and you're like I'm sorry you're not using you're not using these cookies to optimize my experience you're using these cookies to fucking sell to me I am not an idiot I run a podcast I know what I'm talking about god damn it and steal steal my identity do you know what

happened to me once speaking of sending someone a bag of dicks though after the bachelor finished and I was living in rush cutters bay I got sent a bag like I'm talking like a kilo of confetti dicks what from who yeah still don't know who's like you don't know who sent it to me no so i received i received a parcel in the mail a kilo parcel in the mail and it was a box and basically like the way that you opened it the box disintegrated and a fucking kilo of glitter confetti dicks exploded out of this box all over my apartment and i have no idea who sent it to me at all there was no information there was no note nobody came to claim it on social media afterwards no one was like ha ha those dicks are from me yeah I was still picking dicks out of like the crease in the

floorboard for about six months before I moved out that is so weird because I mean I wonder what the meaning behind this was was this someone that was like happy for you and it was a celebration like you won the dick or was it someone that was it someone that's like you guys are the biggest fucking dicks so here's a bag of dicks like what was that I don't know if this is a positive or a negative I think it has to be a negative I think the connotations of sending someone a kilo glitter dick is definitely not positive like there's nothing about that even though it does feel very celebratory and I quite enjoy a dick let alone probably about three million of them yeah it was really really inconvenient trying to vacuum up a kilo of glitter dicks off the floor

and out of the carpet okay so it was probably Elise she came running up didn't she no but how do you get I don't know like how did they even get your address the how much effort they went to to do that did they cut them out themselves do you is there a website you can go and order a pre-made bag of confetti dicks I don't know there are so many questions I have in this story it would really bother me and I would actually be a bit weirded out if that got sent to me if I didn't know as well like I was like how do you know where I am and how do you know that I love dicks like no but you'd be weirded out because someone's found your dress nothing more festive than a kilo of glitter dicks yeah look I mean we

can unpack all of like the the more sorted side of these nothing happened like nothing came of it I didn't feel threatened that somebody found my address it arrived in daylight uh yeah look I've I've kind of moved past it the most annoying thing was just that there were dicks everywhere it was like Mardi Gras but in my bedroom and you never got anything else again no that was it one box of dicks done and dusted well played anonymous human well played uh anyways I feel like that is enough let's get into the questions that we have picked out Brit hit me with question number one okay question number one all right this is a really big one so I want your full attention please Laura help I'm in a really shitty situation with my parents and I don't know how to

deal with it quick backstory I had a great childhood my parents always provided for us I thought the world of them I considered them to be really good respectful people space until now space I wanted to put the space in for dramatic effect because she separated this by paragraphs I am 30 I have a partner a two-year-old and another baby on the way my partner and I have very similar values and ideas on how we want to raise our kids over the past couple of years I have come to realize that my parents are actually very very racist and I don't mean casually or unconsciously they are just flat out racist. This does not sit well with me at all I have zero tolerance for it and I have brought it up with them multiple times at gatherings

they just don't seem to care about my opinion and it always becomes a me problem. I'm a fully grown adult capable of making my own decisions and can choose to block out the things they say but my concern is that they say these things around my two-year-old son who is now confidently speaking and learning about the world. I don't want their opinions to influence him in any way. They only see him once a week but it's still enough to have me pretty worried. To put it into perspective if they were my friends I would have 100% cut them off by now but because they're family I feel like I make a lot of exceptions for them. I want my kids to have a relationship with for sure but not if they become such a bad influence. Now my question is is it fair for me

to start distancing myself from them over something like this? I'm fully prepared to not have them in my life as I don't provide anything positive to it and more often than not my interactions with them are negative and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I really worry about the impacts on my children too. A similar thing happened when I confronted them about smoking around my child it didn't end well and I was the one made out to be a horrible selfish person what do I do am I allowed to cut them off do I stay do I talk about it or I just do I just ignore it oh I'm like sad for you that's such a shitty situation to be in I you know I think it's interesting I think as we get older our parents can either impress us or we can become really disillusioned with who we

thought they were or what totally their outlook is on the world you know as we kind of form more independent ideas and as we show up to the world as the world currently is I think that you know a lot of parents and I think don't I don't think that this woman would be alone I think that there is a lot of people who would see their parents or their grandparents as being racist and it being partly a condition of the world that they grew up in but that doesn't make that an excuse and nor does that make that acceptable and I think if you're feeling this strongly about it then you Absolutely. I mean, firstly, you don't need us to tell you that you can make whatever decisions you see fit for your own children. If you need to protect your children and do what's right for

your children, you don't need us to tell you that that's an acceptable thing as a parent to do. Is there ways that you can work around this? Maybe, but I think it comes down to having a really honest conversation with your parents about what it is that upsets you. And if they don't want to accept that, or if they gaslight you, or if they say that there's no issue or that their views are not problematic then that leaves you with a pretty hard choice to make and if I was in your position I would be putting my children first because I would expect that after I had at least explained to my parents why it upset me so much the way that they were behaving and the things that they said I would expect them to at least take that on board and try and

implement some changes. I agree with everything you just said and ultimately you're going to do what's best for your children but it makes me sad to think you've said that you want your children to have a relationship with your parents but you said you're just also easy to cut them off I do think there is a way and this is we can only go off what you've told us obviously we don't know what other stresses you have in your relationship and what you guys have been through but from what you've said there are definitely ways that you can keep them having a relationship your parents and your children and also monitor what's happening and maybe that just means that I think to start with you definitely have the conversation like Laura said you say like I'm not happy with this

I really appreciate if you don't do this while they're around it means a lot to me if they're going to ignore you then there's not much you can do other than take control of of the situation and either take your kids away from it or be there with them what I would suggest you try to do is after you've had the conversation maybe if you're saying that they're only seeing them once a week as it is maybe you all just hang out together instead of dropping the kids off for a day and letting them have their alone time maybe you're just there with them and you all hang out so you're watching what's happening and they're still developing this situation with their grandparents, but you're aware and you're overseeing what's happening. I know that I

didn't really have a relationship with my grandparents growing up. I didn't have grandfathers on either side and my both grandmothers, they lived a six hour, seven hour drive away. So we didn't have a close relationship. And I remember always wishing I did. I wished that I was like all my other friends that had this really close bond. So I think there is a part of it that's pretty important if you can maintain that bond but only if you can do it in a way that you're happy with ultimately you're in charge of bringing your children up the way that you see fit totally like have you ever had to end a friendship or distance yourself from someone who's a family member because their views or their racism came a real point of contention in your

relationship I actually haven't I've had some heated conversations before with family members where we've we've highly disagreed on something but we always listen to each other speak and we we try to listen to why we have that reason and we try to educate each other I'm really lucky that the way that my family works is if we're proven wrong or we take something on board that someone else has said with a lot of research and a lot of heart like we will listen to that but we've definitely had arguments about it with extended family but I'm lucky that I've never had anything where I've like I have to cut you off it's never been that extreme yeah I guess like I've never ever had to cut someone off either. My grandparents who were so fundamental in raising me, like I,

honestly, my grandma and my grandfather were parental figures in my life. They had some pretty problematic views. And when I was younger, I didn't really realize that their views were problematic. But as I became older, I was like, oh, backing Pauline Hanson. And I know that for my grandfather, so just a bit of context for this, my grandfather was born in Italy. He immigrated here when he was a child he was severely bullied when he was a child and was made to assimilate so he completely just forgot about his Italian heritage he never went back to Italy he refused to speak Italian he never taught any of his children Italian we never learned Italian and he would say he was a blue-collar worker Australian and I think that his level of racism came from

this idea of like well I assimilated so I expect other people to assimilate and it was very problematic for me we would have quite a few debates because he saw the world very differently to me now in saying that my grandfather passed away in his 90s last year we were still incredibly close but there were some things that we just couldn't speak about because we wouldn't see eye to eye on them and it would upset him that I saw things so differently it would upset him that I was like stop fucking voting for Pauline Hanson and it would upset me because I don't see the world in that way. And we're very, very different people when it comes to that. But I think that that is probably my experience with my grandparents is probably something that is shared by a lot of

people. And I think that just because that experience is probably common doesn't mean that it's okay. But in the same instance, I wasn't going to cut my grandparents out who raised me and who I had this incredible bond with. The difference in this situation is the fact that you're saying you don't get anything positive from the relationship and that their views and the way that they behave is so much of an issue that you're worried about it having an impact or affecting the mental health of your child, if that's truly a deep concern of yours, and if you are walking away from these interactions with your parents feeling like they provide nothing positive, then I absolutely think that you have to make an

executive decision and create a safe space for your children, a space where they're not being raised thinking that those viewpoints are acceptable. So like you said, Britt, you know, when your children are seeing their grandparents, you could be there and that way you have a better understanding of what the conversations are and you have a better understanding of what impact their views are having on your children. Secondly to that is that you can also have these conversations with your children as your kids get a bit older and as they start to see the world and they start to interpret what's going on around them, explaining to them that the things that their grandparents

are saying is not correct and calling out their grandparents whenever they do say this stuff in front of you so it really sets a precedent for your children that these are not views that we share and these are not views that we accept by challenging them outwardly I mean you know you've said that you can accept that when they say it or like it doesn't affect you and you can ignore it maybe it's more a case of not ignoring it and anytime that they do say something challenging them on it and if they're not accepting or they're not okay with you challenging on it then making a point that these conversations or racist comments are completely off the table in front of your children ultimately the hardest part here and the reason why this is such a difficult question to

answer is because it's not just your friends it's not someone who you can easily cut out of your life and I think you know there is an expectation that if your friends are casually racist that you call them out on it and that you if they don't change their behavior if they're flippant about that that you know in order to be an ally to minorities in order to be able to stamp out racism and the way that it presents itself in modern society then you do have to make very hard decisions to say, I don't want to associate with people who are okay with that sort of language and are okay with those principles. It is incredibly hard to do that when it is your own parents. So I think the very first thing you do is outline what is and isn't okay for you. If you

can't change their mind, at least telling them how fundamentally it goes against what you believe in and how you want your child to be raised. And if they gaslight you, if they choose not to accept this if they think it's not a problem at all and then you decide that you don't want your children to have a relationship that's not your fault more than anything as a parent your absolute number one priority is to take care of your children and to provide an upbringing for them that you know is setting them up to be the best person that they can be very well said Laura I actually don't know what else I would add to that other than you know the way to break this mold and to break what's happening in society is with the next generation that is with our children so it's so important to

be instilling those values now so if that's something you really believe in don't be scared to drive that point home and don't be scared to make the hard decisions that you need to do all righty i feel like we've answered that one so let's go to question number two okay question number two hey ladies i have a question and i'm a little embarrassed to ask it as i feel like this shouldn't bother me as an adult but i feel really left out at work there's a big group of people that always seem to be hanging out together. I see them post dinners and picnics on the weekends. They often have drinks after work, but I'm never invited. I don't know if this is because they don't like me. I don't know if I've done something in the past. How can I approach this as I would

love to be more included and I would love to make some friends at work. What do you think about that? This is a tough one because anything to do with friendships as an adult is really hard. Yeah. I also think like we've spoken about this so much on the podcast. It's so hard to make friends as an adult especially because people are already so set in their friendship groups people don't want to open themselves up to new people because there's only so many hours in the day that people have for their friends as it is especially when you get to a certain age and more than likely they I don't think when you've said like have I done something wrong or how do I approach this I don't think you've done anything wrong I think they probably haven't even noticed

that that's what they're doing I agree and I think I think this is a pretty easy one ultimately what you can do if you want to be a bit more included is invite them to your own dinner invite them to your own coffee on the weekend invite them for a walk even if that's just one or two girls or one or two colleagues and build it from there but that way you're going to show them an interest that hey like I'm here and I actually do want to hang out because they might not think you even want to hang out with them like this could work both ways they could be like oh Holly never wants to hang out with us so we just won't invite her you don't know which way it goes another thing that I think you can do and I was just thinking about this I don't seem to be any different if you matched with a guy

online right and you're like you really liked him you really wanted to hang out with him what would you do you would probably go on his Instagram you'd probably have a stalk you'd see what he's into and you'd probably try and drop that in the conversation so you can be like oh my god you surf and love border collies as well this is so manipulative Brit no but it's true you're like oh you surf as well I love that I also love rock climbing like let's totally do that there's actually no reason you can't do that if you go onto your friend's page and you know they're all rock climbers why can't you say hey guys I'd love to go rock climbing with you I've been meaning to get into it for a while you've got to have some some commonalities you've got to have something

similar for you guys to bond over because there's no point going and hanging out with a group of people when none of you like the same stuff you've got nothing to talk about so as much as you laugh at that Laura as if that is not what everyone does online when you're trying to match someone you're trying to go on a date with someone I don't think it has to be any different with a friendship okay no I agree it doesn't don't tell them you did it don't tell them just slide into their dms at two in the morning with a you up text message I I agree look I think like I said I don't think that it's necessarily an intentional thing that they're doing but it very well might be like it it may be that you work with a whole lot of bitches who don't want to open up their

friendship group in which case if you do put in some effort and you do try and kind of create space for them to come do something with you on the weekend invite them out for drinks or go for dinner whatever it is if they then don't come to the party or if they don't invite you back I do think there comes a point where you don't have to keep on putting in this energy and like I almost want to say like don't compare or don't feel disheartened because they have a friendship and you're not a part of it if they don't invite you in that's not a reflection of you it's more a reflection of them and unfortunately it's not always going to be a case that in every environment that we're in we're going to make friends with the people that we work with or we're going you

know because you've been thrust together it's like you didn't pick these people that you're working with you've all been put together and they're just naturally going to sometimes you're actually going to click with someone more than somebody else so maybe the girls who work at this office have been working there longer maybe they are really close friends and it's a very hard friendship group to penetrate but I just don't want you to like feel that your self-worth is rocked by their lack of interest or their lack of friendship. A good way to infiltrate the squad is to pick one off when they're alone and get them because they're more weak so when you see an outlier when you see one that's not with the group go be like hey I'm uh just going to grab

a coffee do you want me to grab you one and just like worm your way in because once you're in with one I feel like you're in with all of them so that's what you've got to do pick the weakest link buy them a coffee make them love you and they'll bring you into their inner circle normally for all of our questions we say just go communicate have a conversation I think in this instance the last thing that you want to do is like sit them down and make an issue about it like you don't want to sit down and be like hey I actually noticed that you guys haven't been inviting me to things and I'd really appreciate it if you included me like do not do that it's social suicide please please never ever do that that is I mean we're all for communication except in this

instance you don't want to be invited and get a pity invite that's not why you want to be invited you want to be invited because they're stoked to hang out with you and be friends with you So I think the best thing you can do is obviously, like Britt said, invite them, try and create or create an event, do something, whether it's just something easy like going out for dinner or drinks or something together or having a picnic on the weekend. If you're the one that creates the event and then they all come, that allows you to kind of build that friendship. But if you've created the space and they haven't come to the party, unfortunately, there's

not a lot more that you can do. Anyway, I feel like we've wrapped that one up. Make sure you're not lazy. pick the weakest link buy her a coffee maybe even cook some muffins and bring them to work and win them over with food just don't guilt them into inviting you question number three i'm in a happy relationship of almost three years i have plenty of guy friends and we are all good in the trust department our relationship is amazing however i recently worked with this guy and we hit it off he started messaging me and we have now been talking for a week straight nothing inappropriate

but just general chat in long paragraph messages i really like talking to people and making new friends, but I'm starting to get concerned that he may feel this is going somewhere else. So my question is, how do I say I have a boyfriend without it coming out? Like I'm assuming that he's hitting on me. Should I have brought this up sooner? And if this is inappropriate on my behalf, side note, my boyfriend knows that we've been chatting because I've told him maybe he doesn't know the extent though. I have absolutely no inappropriate feelings towards this new fella. And I know I probably should have somehow mentioned the boyfriend thing a little sooner. I feel like straight away yes you probably should have mentioned the boyfriend thing sooner

absolutely and my number one train of thought in these situations is if you have to ask if you're doing the wrong thing and if you feel like you might be doing the wrong thing and if you feel like you need to tell someone you have a boyfriend then chances are it's highly likely you should have told me you had a boyfriend and you are doing the wrong thing I find this quite strange I and I mean strange in the sense of I think it's so fine to have friends of the opposite sex I think it's fine to meet new people but if you've started to text a guy and you were that good of friends with him to the point that you want to have that communication for sure it's unusual that the fact that you don't have a boyfriend hasn't come up yet because I think like

if you form a friendship with someone you should that's like the base knowledge that's like the foundation of hey my name is Brittany I have a boyfriend called Jordan I live in Bondi Beach like I feel like that's how you get to know someone it's the it's the biggest part of your life so it's what you're going to be talking about I wonder why it hasn't come up yet I wonder if you've enjoyed that that level of attention and flirtiness and the excitement of speaking to someone new which is so fine we all have those cravings but to answer your question it definitely needs to come up and I don't think it has to be that big of a deal I don't think you have to be like look I can tell you're flirting with me I just need to tell you I have a boyfriend I think

it just has to be like what are you doing on the weekend he's like oh I'm going camping you're like oh um my boyfriend's actually taking me to dinner we're celebrating this that's it it's such an easy drop to say that I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend it doesn't have to be awkward it doesn't have to make him you don't have to sit him down and be like we need to talk just throw it out there like I 100% agree I think the more that like the weirder that you're making it the more of a problem it seems like this is like you know would you have a problem telling a girl that you like as in like oh I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend whatever it is like I think because it's become such an issue it makes me think not not that I'm saying that you're doing

anything wrong or that like you have feelings there you've made it pertinently clear that you don't but who cares if he assumes that you think that he likes you like why do you care if he thinks that anyway I think you could attack this either way Brit I'm 100% with the way that you said it I do think that it can be a literally a nonchalant thing like I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend. Or alternatively, if you do think maybe he's interested, you can just send him a text message and say, Hey, I really felt like I should let you know, just in case you are getting the wrong impression about this, that I have a boyfriend. Either of those things are completely fine because I mean, what's going to happen. The only thing that's going to happen

is that the longer he assumes you don't have a boyfriend. And then if he actually starts hitting on you, he's going to feel embarrassed that you didn't tell him sooner, or you're going to be in a situation where you've led him astray which I think you don't want that to arise so just fucking tell him it's not a big deal like both options are fine but definitely do option one it's not a big thing but the fact that you feel a little bit inside you like oh is this the wrong thing am I doing the wrong thing then you probably are like the reason we get those feelings we are humans but we have these feelings inside because they're trying to tell us something and I think all too often we choose to ignore those because we want to write our own narrative. We want to

believe something else is happening. We don't want to believe the truth, but you have those gut instincts and those feelings for a reason. And also, I mean, I'm all for the fact that you can be friends with a guy, a hundred percent, but very few guys out of nowhere invest that much time into texting back and forth with someone who they don't know. Like unless that friendship is- Without wanting to bang them. Yeah. Unless that friendship has been built on a different foundation as in like friends of friends. I feel like if he thinks you're single, this level of investment is not because he just wants to be friends with you. I think he probably already has his own friends or he would have made

it known that he's not interested in you because I don't think he would want that to be, if he's not interested in you, he wouldn't want that to be ambiguous either. If you are starting to feel that that's where the text messages are going, then I would say trust your intuition. And that is probably the case. And you just don't want to be in a situation where you're doing the wrong thing by your partner or in a situation where you feel guilty so as much as yeah maybe it should have come up a bit sooner probably but I think we've all been in this situation before where we've been texting with a guy who's a friend and then started to think oh or a girl like I mean it doesn't it's gender is irrelevant but like started to think oh I feel like these that maybe they've

got the wrong impression or maybe this is heading somewhere where I wasn't expecting I'll always say this but I think it's really important to put yourself in your partner's shoes how would you feel if he was texting another girl he said hey I'm texting she's a friend from work but you found out that I was texting way more than he ever told you to the fact that he had never told her he had a girlfriend you would be like why the fuck haven't you told her about me why don't if she's just your friend why don't you exist I just feel like it's a recipe for disaster I wouldn't like it if Jordan was doing that actually I'd probably be like why the hell are you doing that I was all for you having friends that's fine but there comes a point in life where you just don't do that you

just don't do that in a relationship to your partner guys i feel like that is it from us another ask uncut done dusted and if you have any questions for next week slide on into our dms at life uncut podcast and we will chuck it up on the top of the list for next week and in the meantime hit five stars leave us a cheeky little review if you haven't already hit subscribe and tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends to share the love because we love love i just said that's so wrong