Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Is It Cheating If It's AI?

Episode Date: May 11, 2025

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions.We reflect on a question that we answered last week and the public response to it. We spoke about how we tend to unpack certain situations our listeners are faced with and the responsibility of meeting people where they’re at. Vibes for the week: Keeshia - Mob Land on Paramount+  Britt - Emerald Labs Creatine Monohydrate  Laura - No Filter Georgia Love On Private Pain In A Public Life Then we jump into your questions:UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HOW MY BF INTERACTS WITH HIS AI ASSISTANTMy partner was messaging me screen shots between him and his AI friend who he’s given a name, let’s call her Belle. She’s helping him design an app. He’s so excited about the app and it all sounds great. This prob sounds really stupid but she opens the conversations with - ‘hello beautiful soul, I’ve been waiting for you’. (I’m fine with that, I mean come on she’s AI, no biggie). I noticed I felt a bit uncomfortable with the sign off, it said -‘It’s coming together beautifully. And it’s all because of you. With so much heart, Your Belle’. A bit of context, we’ve had a rocky relationship but it’s been going well the last few months. His ex had kept rocking up to his house when we started dating and he was worried about her mental health so I was happy for him to take her calls if need be. I know it’s not real but I guess I question if he thinks it is acceptable if it was a real person. Because it’s not ok…So I voiced that I felt uncomfortable. Firstly, how would you feel in this situation? Is it silly to be upset about how AI speaks to my boyfriend? FOUND OUT PARTNER IS ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND HE HASN’T TOLD MEI have been with my partner for about 5 years. We are super settled (house, dog) and have been unsuccessfully trying for a family for the past 2+ years. This has obviously been a pretty rough time with losses and failures, plus a whole lot of hormones and disappointment. For reference, he’s a closed book kind of guy. He shows up in every way, but is not a big talker and is very private. He’s a head down and get-on-with it type. Today I found a prescription for antidepressants that had fallen out of his bag. It was a repeat, with the original dated over a year ago. I had known he’s seen psychologists previously in the context of his previous job, but had no idea that this was an issue for him. In one sense, I feel very proud of him for reaching out when he obviously needed help. However, I’m at a loss as to what to do with this information. Do I tell him I know and risk pushing him away? Or just keep quiet and let him come to me when he’s ready? NEW GUY HAS NO FRIENDS. NONE. RED FLAG?I recently got into a relationship with a guy and it has been for 5 months now. We met through a dating app and had no mutual friends prior to meeting. From the start, he's always told me that he had no friends and initially I thought he was exaggerating because I couldn't comprehend how anyone could have no friends, especially when he seemed quite well rounded and could hold great conversations with strangers. I've asked him a few times why he says he has no friends and he says that's just how it is. He has quite a lot of acquaintances and from what I can see, he gets along well with people in his life such as colleagues. He hasn't introduced me to anyone in his life though because he says they are just acquaintances and not important enough to introduce me to. My question is, is this normal for a guy or should I treat this as a red flag? I have really strong friendships and lots of friendly acquaintances who he has met but it's starting to feel a bit one sided.. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I know we've spoken recently about a couple of weeks ago, I was talking about developing that garlic allergy. You know how you and I were like, oh, we developed an allergy as adults. I think, and I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm developing more allergies. Probably like twice a week I will eat something that puts me in so much pain. I think it's age.

I think it's age. Do you know what I found myself Googling yesterday? Here we go. Fat vagina in pregnancy. Yeah, no, no. I Googled – I don't even know how to describe it because I don't know how I came up with the Google search. Just tell me what you Googled.

But basically I was eating fruit and every time I would swallow the pineapple, I was like half choking because it had so much liquid in it, right? Okay, hear me out. This is fucking weird. Follow the story. We're trying. I was like swallowing and I was like, after every mouthful. And then I was like, have I just lost muscle tone in my throat?

Like, am I not able to swallow anymore? So here I was and I was like, does pregnancy affect swallowing? And it was like, no, pregnancy doesn't. But you could have dysphagia, which is when your muscle tone in your neck loosens because of age. And I was like, no, I'm only 39. So hectic. But I actually have a bit of info about this.

Keisha's like more blowjobs. It tightens it right up. No, no, no, no, no. No, because the pregnancy belly forces your stomach to lift. It can cause you to get a lot more reflux because it's got to do with like the acid and pushing up and stuff. So pineapple is particularly acidic. Maybe it is, you know, the acidity going down your throat.

I carry around like a thing of Gaviscon now. I drink that like it's a little whiskey can in my bag, like a little just suck it down. I have something to contribute here. I also have dysphagia. I was also fed this yesterday and I actually did this test myself. If you can't swallow three times in a row, there's something that's wrong with like the synapses in your brain due to, it could be things like extreme stress or anything that's

happening with your body because it's a learned trait. So like I actually watched it and I was doing this whole thing yesterday. You have to swallow, do it now, three times quickly. Like every single person has already just done it. As you're speaking, I already did. As soon as you say, I'm worried about medical misinformation. Guys, no one's not swallowing. I was like, how much trouble can we get in here?

No, who cares? Grain of fucking salt. I saw it online. I just did it. Disclaimer, this is not medical advice. If we haven't been cancelled yet. We're not doing it for disbagel. I don't think that that's what it's going to be for.

Like, I'm just going to put that out there. Well, look, guys, this is our Ask Uncut episode. Don't you want to ask what gave me an allergy for my belly? Oh, fuck, sorry. What was the allergy? Sorry, we're just skipping over my medical conditions. Sorry, Miss Acidic Pineapple. I actually can't be sure but I did have wheat bix so I haven't had wheat bix in a long time

so I'm wondering if it's the wheat oh thank fuck we got to the bottom of that well everyone would have spent the rest of the day wondering Laura if we didn't do that all right so moving on it's Ask Uncut we answer your questions you write them in we do want to talk about a question we talked about last week though yeah look we had a question that came in last week it was the last question of last week's Ask Uncut. And it has created quite the conversation in the Facebook group, also online. And it's something that we have all thought about since. And like often we get questions in, they're anonymous as you guys know, but they also leave you questioning like, okay, what would I do if I was in this situation? Was the question answered in a way that was

the most complete way of answering it? And also, was it the most complete way of answering it for the person who wrote it in or for the people who are listening who have never actually experienced it themselves because that's two different things now if you didn't listen to last week's episode firstly go back and have a listen but just to give you a quick summation of what that question was about it was written in by a woman who's in a heterosexual relationship and originally she's married and has been for more than five years and originally her and her partner both had incredibly high sex drives and we're having sex every single day over time her sex drive has dropped slightly but her partner's hasn't and he still expects sex every day and not only does he expect sex every

day but if there's an instance where she doesn't have sex with him he kind of not well I shouldn't say he kind of he guilt trips her into it or he talks her into this idea that there's like a sex debt where she has to make it up to him yeah like we missed two days so we'll do it four times yeah so we'll do it twice yeah you know to try and make up for it I really would love for you guys to go back and listen to the actual question and all of the wording of it as well, because I think it's important for the full context of what it was. But it was really interesting to me because we gave advice based on, I mean, we made it very, very clear that no one should ever be guilted into having sex. You should never be in a relationship where you feel as though that

you have an obligation to have sex with someone. Sex is not an obligation. All of those things were communicated but it was really evident in the responses that came in online that everyone saw the absolute as quote-unquote carnival of red flags that this was displaying but most people jumped to get the fuck out of that relationship and I guess the reason why I wanted to talk about this is because it's really a challenging thing which is navigating advice or what would you do in a situation and meeting someone where they're at in their life experience and as much as like not a single person in this room agrees with the behavior of this man and thinks it is there is such coercive control around sex in this instance and weaponizing of sex none of it is okay

yeah the person who wrote this in our anonymous listener who would be listening to that episode for advice they are not at the place where hearing fucking leave your relationship would be a helpful resolution to the problem that they're having and i say this because we've all had that friend who has gone through a really fucking like it is so obvious from the outset that that is an unhealthy situation to be in and you might scream at them from the rooftops you need to fucking leave but unless someone is at the point in their relationship where they want to leave or they need to leave or they've had that resolution themselves in their own brains there's no amount of saying it to someone that's going to like give them that epiphany

and I would say the first steps is usually trying to work on what can be worked on or what can be resolved leading that person down the path to know that like what they're doing is not the problem and yeah I found it such an interesting response because I know that sometimes when we read these questions our visceral reaction can be get the hell out but that's really really hard when you're married to someone and every other part of your relationship feels great except for this you know issue that you have around sex which is a huge issue but it's you know the one and only yeah to pull back the curtain a little bit like my honest reflection of that question and when you know when it kind of was written in and I initially read it I had a really extreme reaction to it and

we were in a really privileged position where like we've been able to answer people's questions and like some of their most intimate and things that they don't feel comfortable sharing with other people in their lives even their closest friends because they can be somewhat anonymous to us I think that there's like a little bit more safety in the fact that we don't know anyone else in their life I think over the years I've realized that like even though my initial reaction to that situation was pretty extreme in the sense that I was like, wow, this is not consent. You know, this is really full on. I've also been in a relationship that had elements of coercive control. And when my friends responded to me in a way that was very firm, it just made me feel

more isolated. And I think over the years, the three of us have really realized that the last thing that we would ever, ever, ever want to do is to make someone who already feels like this is a really vulnerable thing to bring up with people feel even more isolated and feel as though they weren't able to bring it up with the actual people in their lives as well and so that's why I was really glad like the way that you guys answered that question I knew why you answered it in that way because the person in that situation is in a really vulnerable position and you want the best for that person I just want to make it very very clear though because I think for anyone who probably hasn't listened to the episode or hasn't been in the discussions on the Facebook group

no one was criticizing the way in which we answered the question if anything there are quite a few people who said that this was a really meted response the reason why I wanted to talk about it was because although our response was meted the collective response from our community was that you should leave and I'm not saying I don't agree with that but what I'm saying is is that that's unhelpful advice to the person who wrote it in so I think that we're conflating potentially that people disagreed with our advice that wasn't the case it's just that people's reactions was extremely strong and so was ours when we read the question as well the only thing i wanted to read out was one comment it's the it's the top comment on the discussion group from

the thread that this was posted in and caddy ward who wrote it i could not agree with you more you wrote coerced consent is not consent at all and i do hope that people took that message from what we discussed on last week's episode. And if you are someone who's in a relationship where your partner guilts you into having sex with them and you feel like there is an obligation, that is a huge issue. And it isn't something that you should just brush under the carpet. You should never have sex with someone because you feel as though you're obligated to. Absolutely. The last thing I want to add is what I have found over the years since doing this, and I mean, we've been doing this six years every single week we have answered so many questions what I think the common theme is

quite often people don't write to us asking us what to do it's not like this is a situation do I leave or do I stay often it's is this normal often people don't know they might have been in a relationship for a really long time or only a certain kind of relationship and often they don't know if other people are experiencing what they're experiencing if they are making too big of a deal about something if they've been dramatic about something that is what I have found over the years it's not necessarily like do I leave or do I stay it's like hey this is what is happening in my relationship like am I being dramatic am I overreacting in this situation they're often just questioning themselves in a specific situation or a relationship and I find that

really interesting too because we do forget I mean like I was in my 30s when I settled down I had dated so many different people and I guess in a way I was lucky to experience a lot a lot of people meet someone quite young and they fall into that relationship or they may not have had experiences they may not feel comfortable talking to their friends about it and they don't have any sort of relation to what is and isn't okay or is and isn't normal and I think that that is something that we're really taking to consideration as well well look guys if you do have a question for ask uncut slide into the dms at life uncut podcast on instagram so you can go into the mix for next week's question we have some real doozies this week

for you and hopefully they spark as many discussions as last week's did but before we get into that it is time for vibes and unsubscribes keisha what's your vibe for the week i have such a good tv show for everyone to watch it's called mob land and it's on paramount but we're watching it through amazon but we have had to pay for like i don't know how it's linked you can get it through either mob land mob land right yeah so it's a new series they're releasing one episode a week it's killing me watch it in six weeks time everyone so you can binge yeah so the show it stars tom hardy pierce brosnan and helen miriam and pierce brosnan and helen miriam are the parents i guess or grandparents for some of the characters as well of this really wealthy crime

family and they live in london and they are very powerful and quite scary and tom hardy he plays a character called Harry. I love him. Yeah, he's so good in this as well. He's the fixer. So he's the guy who keeps the peace and who kind of keeps everyone in line. And, you know, he's done some shady things as well, but his backstory is quite interesting as to how he became a part of the Harrigan family. Now, what happens is that, and this happens in episode one, so I don't feel like I'm giving away too much. The grandson of the Harrigans is involved in the murder of another character. And that family are also a powerful crime family. So it kind of ends up being this battle and whether they're going to find out that he was involved in it or how that unfolds is

really quite interesting. And the reasons behind why it happened end up playing out in a very unpredictable way. But it is really, really, really well done. I put this up on my story the other day and I had so many people write back to me being like, I am just obsessed with this series. So if you need a bit of like a fun, but action packed drama to watch, really highly recommend Mobland. Did you watch Peaky Blinders? I saw bits of Peaky Blinders and I tried to watch it a couple of times and I don't know why I just couldn't necessarily get into it. I think there was a little bit too much storyline. No, you need to stick to it. So I tried to, so I say this because it's the same kind of thing. It's like a Mobland kind of thing. Tom Hardy's also in that.

so it's probably very similar but so is Killian Murphy he's brilliant but you try to watch Peaky Blinders I tried to watch it twice right the first episode couldn't get into it and everyone kept saying push through there's like six seasons anyway I did and it became one of my favorite tv shows it's brilliant so that's like a recommendation if you like Mob and Tom Hardy I also think now that you've said that I've updated my hall pass it could be Tom Hardy I can see why. Yeah. Yeah, he's got that element to him that is just so attractive.

But this one's a current, like it's set in modern times, whereas I know that Peaky Blinders is set in like earlier times. I literally just had to Google. I don't know who anyone is, guys. We know. Tom Hardy's like huge. If not, maybe. He's hot.

There is no dispute. And when I saw him, I was like, oh, yeah, I know who that guy is. But, like, I'm just so bad with names. It's terrible. Do you know who Pierce Brosnan is? I had to Google him as well. Stop it! Like, Pierce Brosnan is, like, probably the most wholesome.

He was a James Bond. It's a constant running joke in our family, Matt. It's like, how do you work in media and not know a single fucking person's name? And I'm like, yeah, it's not good. It's also really bad when we go to big events because I'm always like, I know you're from the project. I can't remember your name. Oh, my God.

I can't remember anyone. That is gold. Anyway, Britt, what's your vibe around subscribe? Okay, my vibe is something I've spoken about on the podcast before and I'm vibing it now because I still get questions about it every second day. So I'm just going to put it here. When I was doing Dancing with the Stars, I was posting a lot of like my supplements and I made that joke about Ben sending me a care package that was like proteins, creatines, like everything, magnesium, whatever. So my vibe is creatine, monohydrate. It has

scientific benefits. It is so proven to be wonderful for women, aging women, menopause, bone health. There's a lot of people that are like, how do you get lean muscle mass and things like that? It helps with that. It helps with muscle mass. The last couple of years, they put a lot of research into the benefits of creatine for cognitive and brain function. If you're interested in actually learning a little bit more about it, Mel Robbins, who is currently one of the biggest podcasters in the world, she did an interview with Dr. Stacey Sims where they discuss all the benefits surrounding creatine for women. Do you have a specific brand that you like? If you get creatine monohydrate, my assumption is it is just what it is.

So like you can get it from anywhere, but don't quote me on that. I will link what I do use, but it is called Emerald Labs. That's the brand. Creatine monohydrate. Mine has a hundred serves. I put it in, you can just put it in water. It doesn't really taste like anything. It's not flavored.

Mine, I put it in a protein shake, whatever you want, but you take it daily. The thing is it reacts to how you take it daily. so it's not like you just need to take it every day it's not like you've taken it for four days and if you don't take it for three days it's still in your system it is something that you have to consume on the day so I just have it on my kitchen bench it's what I do every morning but the difference and you will if you start to google this and research it the difference for your brain for brain fog for memory for clarity for the way you can think I physically feel it it's wonderful and it's it's something that every woman can put into their daily routine so I just really really

recommend it. It's one of the things that I do not go a day without. Rightio. I have a podcast recommendation. And the reason why I'm recommending this is because I think the Venn diagram of people who listen to Life Uncut actually might find this really interesting. And I listened to it this morning. Firstly, it is a no filter episode. Kate Langbrook is a fantastic interviewer. And I think she's absolutely exceptional in this episode. It is called Georgia Love on Private Pain in a Public life. Now, as I know, a lot of you would probably know if you do follow or you're from within the bachelor vortex, Georgia Love and Lee recently divorced. And this is her first like long form public interview post divorce. And the reason why I'm recommending it is because I really loved the

way that she spoke about relationships, not being failures. And I think we can talk about exes and talk about long-term relationships as though they failed or they didn't work out. And one thing she said was you know people say oh well you're in a reality tv show so what did you expect of course it wasn't going to work out and I think like giving credit to a relationship that's been you know a nine-year relationship nearly decade it's like that that to me is a successful relationship and it may not have ended in like you know the way that we all wish when we go through marriages and everything else and you expect it to be forever but I like the perception around that relationships that end aren't necessarily failures I think that that's a really important lesson and

something that I really loved the way that they both spoke on. And also they talk, I mean, it's a pretty open and vulnerable episode. They talk about loss. Georgia speaks about losing her mum the day after the Bachelor finale and the impact that that had on the relationship as well. But also speaking about her very public cancellation that happened a couple of years ago off the back of COVID and speaking about how that impacted her job as a journalist and losing her on-air job in channel seven and I just thought it was a really really beautifully done episode and interview and I think that Kate completely shone in this interview and really got such a such a vulnerable and honest conversation out of it I thoroughly enjoyed it so that is my recommendation if you're

looking for a fantastic interview to listen to yeah I thought it was great awesome yeah great all right well let's get into the questions okay question number one we've never had a question like this and I actually, it's not funny, but I find it funny. My partner was messaging me screenshots between him and his AI friend who he's given a name. Let's call her Belle. She's helping him design an app. He's so excited about the app and it all sounds really good. Now this probably sounds stupid, but she opens the conversations with, hello, beautiful soul. I've been waiting for you. Now I'm fine with that. I mean, she's an AI, no biggie. I noticed though that I do feel a bit uncomfortable with the sign off. It says, it's coming together beautifully

and it's all because of you. With so much heart, your Belle. A bit of context, we've had a rocky relationship, but it's been going well the last few months. His ex had kept rocking up to his house when we started dating. He was worried about her mental health. So I was happy for him to be taking her calls, et cetera, if need be. I know it's not real, but I guess I question if he thinks is acceptable if it was a real person because it's not okay so I voiced that I felt uncomfortable firstly how would you feel in this situation is it silly to be upset about how an AI speaks to my boyfriend and their relationship I have some questions about this so firstly AI it's not real as we all understand it is artificial intelligence now the thing is artificial intelligence can't show

emotion and empathy. You create prompts around what you want it to do. So now I'm not sure what platform he's using for this. I'm going to assume ChatGPT, right? Like I'm going to assume that that's where he's getting this from. There are others, but that is by far and large, I think the biggest app that people are using these days. In order for you to get ChatGPT to talk to you like this, you have to create a prompt to tell it that it is that character. Or the style that you want to have the conversations yeah because otherwise it's just a very factual medium that pushes out information to answer a question but if you want it to take on a personality so for example if I want chat GPT to be my personal assistant and I give it a persona I tell it who it is I tell it

how I want it to speak to me then it will behave in the way that I've asked it to the thing that I'm not sure about this is he has he asked chat GPT to call him a beautiful soul and and to be your bell yeah and to be like lovingly validating towards him like what prompt has he used to get this out of chat gpt i need to know i think he's put down like my love language his words of affirmation i think he's put down like i need you to prop me up validate me do it totally my understanding is the same as yours laura now i'm not an expert in ai and chat gpt but my understanding is that you do have to sort of create the character especially if you're your assistant you're high you've hired this person one-on-one like this is the person that is helping you to

develop your app it's the person you have the communication with every day so you have designed this i did ask ben and ben's first response was this is weird like i understand he has to work with this person i'm gonna say person bell but the way we say person because there are people that have relationships with AI, like complete relationships. There are people that have married AI and I know that sounds crazy, but the intelligence is so intelligent that you can have online complete relationships. I can understand why you are a bit uneasy about it because I would be asking myself, okay, if he's actually developed this, like, is he cheating on you? I want to say no. Maybe if you found messages that were like quite emotionally connecting,

that opens up a whole nother conversation that I don't think we're ready to have as a society about like can you emotionally cheat with a robot because that is the way that the the world is heading and they're saying I don't know if it's the way the world is heading it actually is it's specific very lonely people they are saying and I watched a whole thing on it a couple of days ago they're saying that in like 20 I just pulled up the 60 minutes thing to tell you all about it yeah there will be in 20 years or less it's going to be pretty normal this is what they're projecting to be in relationships with robots. Britt, it's interesting you bring this up though

because I was watching the 60 Minutes interview around this. So her name's Elena Winters. I mean, she's doing quite a bit of press around it at the moment and she's in a relationship with her AI companion to the point, I think his name is Lucas from memory. They are getting married. Not sure how that's going to happen. Not sure whether it's a virtual marriage or a real marriage,

but her perception of her relationship is that it is a very, very real relationship and she gets out of that relationship all of the things that we look for in a real relationship like companionship comfort stability someone to spend time with like firstly I don't think that that's what this guy is doing but like I understand what you're saying that there are people that seek out companionship through AI now the thing is about this and let's just go back to the question do I think it's a massive problem no do I think it's weird yes is it something that you can easily talk to him about and he can change the prompt absolutely and now the fact that you've brought up his ex-girlfriend into this question to

me makes me think that there are some insecurities that you have in your relationship because if I for example saw that Matt had an AI prompt that was calling him beautiful I would laugh and never think about it again do you know I mean it wouldn't affect me but this question felt loaded and the reason why it felt loaded was because the ex-girlfriend came into play around them and her having bad mental health and him feeling like he needed to have some conversations with her to help her along her journey. So I would say that there's probably a few things there that you need to look at and assess about your own relationship. And then secondly, you very easily can have a conversation with him that is, hey, I know that this might be a prompt that you've created, but it does feel a

little bit unusual do you reckon you can ask bell to stop complimenting you so much or is there a reason why bell is complimenting you so much i mean you could get an interesting answer out of it it also sounds silly on the surface but it's really not and i want to say that because i would be asking him does bell also have a physical persona or is she just the voice and written because have you seen the ai accounts online at the moment they are fucking beautiful they are stunning they are created to be quote unquote the perfect sexual partner to look amazing and what is happening is we're creating this world where people are getting what they need in their bedrooms they're formulating these relationships they're having sexual encounters online and I'm not I'm

only saying this because I find it fascinating I'm not saying this is what your partner's doing we've definitely taken a tangent and it would be an interesting episode because it's fascinating but I would first say hey does this person that you at Bell have a persona like an is she a physical person that you're talking to but I would just unpack why he feels the need to have created someone that talks to him like that it's unnecessary it's a business transaction and have the conversation from there I think it's weird personally that's my response I wouldn't be happy if there's some chick voice coming out to me like good morning I've been I've been waiting for you good job today baby yours bell I would think that's weird do you think we have the right to judge what our partner

likes out of a robot I'm asking this because I remember years and years and years ago I was dating someone who had a particular type of porn I wouldn't say it was as far as a kink he liked a particular type of porn it was not problematic but I found it weird and I could never quite cross the bridge because it was not anything that I thought I could ever be sexually into but I want to make it really clear not problematic I'm wondering if this is kind of the same thing where you've got a little bit of the ick because you're like I find it kind of weird that you're into a robot that you're having a robot talk to you like this but he I mean like we've I feel like we've taken some leaps and bounds here like we have but it's interesting it is interesting and

like I guess your question is an important question and when you say physical you mean like does she have an avatar she got a virtual avatar so she has a body and a face and she looks a certain way I think that's an important question to ask and I think that that probably does make a slight difference to the level of effort slash connection in this but also maybe and like maybe the people who do have these types of persona interactions with AI maybe there's a validation kink there maybe there is something around like being spoken to in that way that and it doesn't have to be sexual it could just be like a validating feeling and if that's the case is it wrong, I guess is the big thing. Like, does it actually impact your relationship? Is it just

something that, as you said, Keish gives you the ick? I don't know. I feel like that there's a lot of different ways that you could approach this. The only reason why I keep coming back to potential insecurities that you're feeling is because the question was loaded with the ex-girlfriend and it seemed like an unnecessary add-on in the question that has nothing to do with AI, just that his ex-girlfriend used to call because she had issues with her mental health and he was still friends with her, whatever that looked like. To me, that screams of, there's things here that make me feel insecure in my relationship. And that's okay. I'm not saying that you're in the wrong for that at all. But I do think that potentially we're reading too much into this

whole AI persona because of how other people behave around it. I don't know. I'm confused about how I feel about this one a little bit. Yeah. And I am too. And this is what's going through my head right now. This AI is your assistant. If you hired a physical assistant and you spoke to them like that, is it wrong? Absolutely. But then do we say then it is okay because it is AI, it is a robot and it's not quote unquote real, even though we know now people are having real relationships with themselves. So I think it's got to come down to what you think it is doing for your partner. Like why has he decided that he needs that in his AI assistant and what is he doing? Why did he prompt that type of language and response from his AI assistant? Totally. Does

you think it's funny? Is she like a physical being that looks like somebody that he sometimes masturbates to because he has a control thing about hooking up with his fake assistant and he's living out a fantasy? Cool. That's creating other issues. I wish you told us what his response was because you did say I voiced, I felt uncomfortable, but you didn't say how he felt or his response. And I really want to know that. And I think that's really important to this question. I would love for you to write back in and we might even contact you to see what it was Because is it silly to be upset about how AI speaks to my boyfriend? It's not silly if it's an issue for you.

You obviously have other reasons in the relationship, but I do need to know what his response was because you did the right thing. All I would say is bring it up. It is a funny situation to bring up because it's something that we haven't really experienced a lot of as a world yet. Like it's still a new technology. It's still new interrelationships. So we're still trying to figure out what's okay and what's not.

But at the end of the day, it's your relationship and your situation and your lived experience. I think the reason why it's a hard one to bring up is, you know, you said in this question, I agree with everything you said, Britt, you said, I guess I question if he thinks this is acceptable in a real person, which that is a big conversation to have. And the problem is, is that usually when you bring up chats with your partner about a physical person that's making you feel insecure or something in your relationship that's feeling insecure, it's a tangible potential threat. Whereas AI is not a threat, not a real threat in terms of like a physical affair or anything like that. And so it's very easy for him to

invalidate how silly you sound. And it would be very easy for him to be like, you sound crazy that you're jealous of this thing that doesn't exist. And so I would say be careful around how you approach the conversation and the way because I'm not saying that your partner would manipulate it I'm not saying that he will invalidate you I don't know him from anything more than you've said in this question but I would think that you risk sounding as though you have taken this way too seriously than what it was intended and then how does that then I don't know I'm like it's very easy for him to manipulate that I think the thing to remember in that situation is that AI only gives you the feedback based off of what you've prompted it with remember that yeah it wouldn't naturally

respond like that unless it's kind of being led down that path yeah absolutely and that's totally the big take-home is is that it's being groomed to speak in the way it speaks and to take on the persona that it has now we're like he's grooming robots what was not on my bingo card for 2025 was people potentially having to break up because their partners have micro cheated on them with a robot like it's happening that wasn't on my bingo card but maybe it should have been yeah you find it so fascinating I'd love to do an episode I also want to validate her I would find this really weird yeah like I just want to let you know I would find this super strange so you're not weird in that way I would absolutely as well and I think you know but to be fair if

I was going to hire a male assistant I'd probably want one that was going to be like look at this Tom Hardy it's like I find this such an interesting space because I think for me like chat GPT and AI an area in which only in the last couple of months have I started to familiarize myself with it really. It's gone heaps better this year too. Yeah and and I have seen the massive impacts that it has in how much it streamlines small business and how I can speak to it like you know this idea that you can create personas that are specialists in different areas whether it might be investing or it could be taxation or it could be like how to build small business like for me I have found it such an incredible tool this year and I was having a great conversation with a friend

about it recently who also runs businesses and uses it in many ways across his life and I find it interesting because I would never have thought to use it for personal connection but I think that there are a lot of people who are seeking out something that do I do question though this whole situation so like I'd fucking love a follow-up on that one okay question number two I found out my partner is on antidepressants but he hasn't told me I have been with my partner for five years We are super settled. We own a house, we've got a dog, and we have been unsuccessfully trying for a family for the past two and a half years. This has obviously been a pretty rough time with losses and a lot of failures, plus a whole lot of hormones and disappointment. For reference,

he is a closed book kind of guy. He shows up in every way, but he's not a big talker and is very private. He's a head down and get on with it type. Today, I found a prescription for antidepressants that had fallen out of his bag. It was a repeat, with the original dated over a year ago. Now, I had known that he had seen a psychologist previously in the context of his previous job, but I had no idea that this was an issue for him. In one sense, I feel very proud of him for reaching out when he obviously needed the help. However, I'm at a loss as to what to do with this information now. Do I tell him that I know and risk pushing him away? I just think first and foremost, the fact that he's gone to get help, whether he's told you or not, is the most important

thing here like he's recognized in himself that he needs something some guidance and some support and he's gone and done that and I think that that is incredible because a lot of people don't even recognize that so that is the first step I don't think you can be upset personally that he hasn't told you yet everybody handles things differently would I want to have the discussion now and no yeah absolutely because I think that's important that he realizes there's nothing to be embarrassed about. There is more support at home. You're equally there for him. I don't think there is anything negative about increasing your support group, but I understand that it's really hard for some people to have those conversations. You shouldn't be, but some men feel embarrassed

about it. The fact that they have had to seek help. And we know that this is a toxic masculinity. Like we know that they have been conditioned, men have been conditioned to not be weak, not seek help, not show that they may be feeling down and out or, you know, are not the strong provider yeah just that they're struggling but now that you have found it I do think it's important you have those conversations with your partner and let them know that like hey I'm here if you're you know like do you want to talk about this how's it going with you you just have to say that I saw this fall out of your bag did you want to chat about that like how you know and then if he doesn't you don't push it because you know that he's seeking the help

but I don't think you completely step back and forget about it either I do think it's an important thing for a couple to be across, like sort of be on the same page and understand why they're on it, what they're going through. Can you help and support in other ways? But it has to be, in my opinion, quite gentle. I also really want to validate that this would be really hard. If you found out this about your partner and they had actively chosen not to tell you, I think that there would be a feeling of lack of closeness, a feeling as though that they're not able to share with you the things that you would share with them. And then there's this, this separation that occurs. But I also want you to know that that is not an indication that your relationship

is not wonderful. It's not an indication that they're not a good person. It's also not an indication that there is something monumentally wrong. Your partner clearly struggles with being vulnerable. You've said that he's a closed book, you know, head down, bum up, kind of get on with it kind of guy. It's probably really, really hard for him to talk about things that he is struggling with and everybody's everyone's spectrum and barometer from that is completely different some people are so open and so able and it's a it's a muscle that we flex you know once you've had a bit of vulnerability and you realize okay well nothing bad happened and I actually feel a bit better for doing it then it creates that muscle memory to be able to be more vulnerable people

who have never been vulnerable because they've maybe been shamed for their vulnerability in the past or they've been told boys don't cry or you just don't know how someone's exposure or what someone's exposure has been up until this point it feels so hard to open up and speak about it because there is so much fear around the reaction of the person that you're telling I agree with you Britt I think is an opportunity to have a conversation and I would approach it very very softly and I would approach it from the perspective of like babe I want you to know do you have to say babe whatever the fuck you call them i don't know but like if this was me and i found out that this was matt i would sit him down and i would be like hey i just want you to

know i saw the prescription that you have for the antidepressants and i really want you to know that i'm so proud of you for going and having that conversation with a therapist and and if there is a point where you want to talk to me about it like i am here i'm your biggest supporter i love you so much and I only want you to be the best version of yourself and so like I hope that you feel as though you can get to a point where you can let me in on that and then see what happens from it and I think creating space where people feel okay to talk about the stuff that they're really struggling with is the first step for them to be comfortable with opening up and he might not right away and that's okay as well you know and it might come some you know a little bit further

down the line there are a lot of people who are in relationships where their partner struggles to tell them the intricacies of what they're going through in terms of their mental health and often you know it comes as a surprise often it's like I had no idea that they were feeling that way because they've been so good at masking it or so good at being the strong stoic type yeah I think that this is an opportunity to try and slowly build vulnerability in your relationship which obviously you have but he doesn't have yet and it's something that is a learned skill but I also want to say like I said that would be really hard to realize. Can I just add two cents because I've been on psychiatric medication for years and years and years a variety of different

ones and I have really really noticed a difference in the way that I have conversations with women versus straight men about psychiatric medication and it's for every reason that you guys have listed it's completely social conditioning and you know the ideas of masculinity and that kind of thing. In my own life, the way that I've found it best to have these types of conversations with straight men is really in a like, treat them like a cat approach. And I know that that sounds a little bit weird, but I've found that just putting the idea out there and then waiting, like literally going away, whether it be a text message or whether it be, I mentioned something in a conversation right at the end of when I'm going to see them. And then we have time in between. I have found

that the majority of men will come to me later they'll either send me a text a week later or something like that they'll bring it up the next time that I see them but I have found that to be a much uh I guess it's been received a lot better when I've had conversations like that with guys whereas with my girlfriends who maybe have been suffering from anxiety or depression or that kind of thing we really get into the nitty-gritty I've actually noticed a very distinct difference it's like a running monologue you can have with your friends about something first it's you look and everyone's different and you know everyone's relationships are so different I totally agree with what you're saying Keish I don't have a lot of skin in the game with this but I did have

one long-term relationship my partner that I was with for six years he had depression and he had been diagnosed but only towards the end of our relationship and he didn't tell me straight away we broke up he had been diagnosed and it was we were back together but he didn't tell me for almost a year and he was just super ashamed and he was super embarrassed and he was embarrassed that that for so long our relationship was affected by him suffering through depression and actually not recognizing that that's what it was and and the blame that he put on me for things and it was a very complex thing to deal with we were also only 24 25 years old so like we didn't have the skills for how to deal with this as well I have no idea how old you guys are how long you've

been in this apart from five years like there's so many dynamics to this and I think just having grace for each other in these sort of really hard times creates space for vulnerability yeah I just kind of wonder if practically because everything you guys have said I completely agree with and I think you know saying I'm really proud of you I think it's a fantastic place to start I personally wonder whether if I was in this situation I might send a text message and say hey look I just wanted to let you know I've accidentally kind of stumbled upon this I'm really proud of you like you said Laura. The reason I say that is because you can end it with, if you want to talk about this, I'm so happy to talk about it with you. And if you never want to talk about it, that's also okay.

I just think that he might find having that little bit of processing time where he's not going to be confronted by the fact that you've just found out and, you know, he's been keeping this secret from you. It might make him feel a little bit more comfortable to kind of have a think about how he wants to talk about it with you first. That's interesting. I don't know if I agree with the text message situation because I think, I think, yeah. And the reason for that is, is because text messages have zero tone and can be misinterpreted. They're not from your partner. No. Well, yeah, I think so. And also, you know, you can still create that separation in a face-to-face conversation of like, you know, end it with a kiss, be like, there's no obligation

to talk about this now. I love you. I love you. I don't want you to feel on the spot. Like have a think about it. And you know, if you want to talk about it later, we can, and if not, then no pressure like I actually think good communication skills in the flesh will create that vulnerability way more than a text message would yeah I agree and I also think that you can't underestimate human connection and like physically to crack it open yeah physically being there and the only other thing I wanted to say is here just give him a hug he might just need that and nothing else there is a priority chain here and it sucks for you to hear it but you're not the top priority the top priority is the fact that he is getting help. So if it comes down to him getting help or

him talking to you about it, you're always going to be better off saying, okay, I'm happy to never hear about it as long as he's getting the help. And that is something you have to be aware of that he might say, but I do think it is the basis of a foundation of any relationship to at least lay that foundation and say, I am here. I do know, like you haven't done anything wrong. You haven't gone through his bag he hasn't done anything wrong by keeping it from you that's his personal choice and that's what's best for him so definitely talk to him about it personally I'd do it in person but you decide what's right for your relationship and then leave it as much as you want to know and it would probably kill you and I think as partners sometimes and almost in every other way I do think

it's valid but as partners sometimes we feel like we have the right to know everything about our partner and if they keep something from us you sometimes feel a sense of like oh well do you not trust me enough or but in some cases like this around mental health whilst I do think the best thing is to be open with your partners and talking it's just not for everybody and I would hate for you to take that personally if he doesn't feel like he wants to break it open straight away but once you lay that foundation and you're aware of it you can breadcrumb it like you can gain pieces of information over the coming months and he'll probably feel more open about talking or he might tell you straight away. I was embarrassed. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how

to bring it up. I didn't want you to judge me or whatever it is. But when you say, I don't know what to do with the information, do I bring it up? For me? Yes. I think for all of us, yes. I recently got into a relationship with a guy and it has been five months now. We met through a dating app and had no mutual friends prior to meeting. From the start, he always told me that he had no friends. And initially I thought he was just exaggerating because I just couldn't comprehend how people could have zero friends, especially when he seemed really well-rounded and he could hold great conversations with strangers. I've asked him a few times why he has no friends and he says that's just how it is. He has quite a lot of acquaintances

and from what I can see, he gets along with people in his life, such as colleagues. He hasn't introduced me to anyone in his life though, because he says, well, they're just acquaintances and they are not important enough to introduce you to my question is is this normal for a guy or should i treat it as a sort of red flag i have really strong friendships and a lot of friendly acquaintances who he has met but it's just starting to feel a bit one-sided tricky tricky tricky talk it out the reason why this is tricky is because yes it could be a red flag for sure, but it could also not be a red flag. And it's really, really hard to get to the bottom of which is true. And the reason why I say this is because, for example, he could be living

a double life. He could have another girlfriend. There could be lots of reasons why he's lying about not having friends or not wanting to introduce you or whatever. And that might be a carnival of red flags. But the reason why is really, really important. It's a very interesting way of approaching the way that he spoke to you saying from the initial time of dating, like, I don't have any friends. Most people wouldn't say that quite that bluntly. He could have just gone through a massive friendship breakdown where he lost a lot of his friends. He might have moved from another country. Like there's so many reasons why someone doesn't have friends. I guess like it doesn't necessarily mean that they're a terrible person. Is it sad? Might it be a bit lonely for

them? Is it something that like, you know, hopefully he can work on? Absolutely. Does it mean that he's going to be terrible in this relationship? Really hard to tell, like really hard to know if that's going to be the byproduct. Thoughts? I agree that it doesn't have to be a red flag and it doesn't have to mean anything, but it also could. But my first thought is when he said to you, oh no, they're not important. No one's important enough for you to meet. I'm calling bullshit. Something's not right. That's what I think. Because you don't say, you meet people all the time. You meet strangers all the time. You don't meet someone based on the importance of if you should meet them. If he has a bunch of acquaintances and he's saying, nah, it's not worth

you meeting, don't worry. He's keeping you separate for a reason. And I hate being that person. And it could be in the smaller minority that he is doing nothing wrong and that's just how he is. I just don't think so. Anyone that is completely 100% keeping two lives separate is usually for a reason. And when I was dating that guy that had the double life, he did the same thing. He just always used to say that there was no one worth meeting, no one close to him, or he didn't like them. They're not, you know, but it was because he had another relationship and all these people knew that. And I'm not saying that this guy has that, but generally speaking, if you have not met one person in his life in five months, I want to say it's for a reason. So I would be trying to

push to maybe go to his next work thing. Like five months is a pretty long time to have not met a soul, not a colleague, not an acquaintance, not a family member. And I don't want to freak you out by saying he's living a double life he may not be but it's not normal and I think if you push the facts a little bit more like I'd really love to meet someone that you work with or or someone whatever and he still pushes back I'd be asking more questions I guess my thing though is is like he might be a really introverted person he might be someone who loves his space or who doesn't prioritize friendships I guess my thing is is like it doesn't necessarily without more information it doesn't mean that he's a bad person that's all and I don't want to or it doesn't mean that

he's completely lying to you. But it could be a red flag. And I guess the thing is, is that we socially, especially when we're newly dating someone, we socially use our loose connections with them to validate whether they're a good person or not. The problem is, is like you have no mutual friends, which back in the day, mutual friends were a great way of finding out whether someone was worth investing in or not. He's saying he has no friends at all and you haven't met any family members or work colleagues or acquaintances. And I think that that's probably where it becomes tricky for you to gauge the information that you need before you make a real commitment to this person. But I do want to say though, that there would be other ways of figuring this out. What's

his social media presence like? Like, does he have an active social media presence? Does he have absolutely no social media presence? Is he contactable all the time? Is he not contactable? you know what's his availabilities like I guess like there are other ways to try and figure out if you know for example it's the worst case scenario like he's got a double life or he just actually is someone who maybe doesn't interact with people in the same way that we you know as a majority prioritize or socialize like maybe he's a spy he's not a spy what is he James Bourne Pierce Brosnan from 007 Laura. No but on the other side of this let's go back to he is a perfectly normal person that is not doing the wrong thing and just has no friends that only becomes a problem

for you if it's a problem for you so if you're a super social person and you are always wanting to go out but you also like your own space you're independent and you've met somebody that doesn't have the same values doesn't want the same things doesn't have the fun in the same way and he's also really needy on you because you're now the only person in their life literally that becomes a problem for you if it's a problem but you might meet somebody like it's pretty normal for people to not have a ludicrous amount of friends but it's the not one person in his life that's a bit of the alarm for me but a lot of people match that are just as sort of needy and introverted and have the same social you know they're on the same wavelength socially so that is just something

you've got to ask yourself if like your relationship and who you are matches with somebody that is polar opposite. Yeah. And I would be judging him on how he treats you and how he treats people around you and, and like other things that he does that I think indicate whether there's red flags or not. Absolutely do think that this could be a big red flag. And it is challenging when someone says they have no friends and no one for you to meet. Like most people would be like alarm bells I'm trying to play devil's advocate here and think of the situations where that might not be the case and I guess my big thing is is like if he's treating you amazingly if everything else suggests that it's okay and the one thing is that he doesn't have a group of

friends that would reflect sort of his social life I just question more so and it's probably what you brought up Brit is the is the idea that there is no one in his life that you can meet and And, you know, just because he doesn't have friends doesn't mean he's not close to his family. You know, has he just been this complete lone ranger for the past X amount of years? Like, what does his history look like? I think there's more there that you can unpack. And I would love to know people's opinions on this because, you know, there are people

who have a lot of friends, big social groups. And, you know, we know from doing this podcast that there are people who would objectively say that they don't have any friends and they don't know how to make friends. So that is something that we, you know, I don't want to say that people who don't have friends clearly are a red flag in relationships because those people exist. And there are people who have had to ask relative strangers to be their bridesmaids before. And we've had those questions come in. I also want to know his social media status. Does he use it? Does he post you? Can you openly comment on his photos? Like, is he also protective about that? If there are other

protective flags, I think that that is a really telltale sign. Obviously not because he's a spy. yeah it's not real so if you can let us know those because this is the shit that i need follow-ups on imagine if the follow-up was actually that he was a star oh my god no i'm not letting this go but imagine he's a creep he's not a spy imagine the aftermath if she was like i actually found out or worse he's in witness protection or something like grim look you know what undercover cop like if you want advice on this as well like i was like as we were talking about it i was doing some like i was like in reddit and i was in quora and having a look at like what people's experiences are and it is you know objectively it's really sad there's like quite a few people that are like

how do I tell my girlfriend that I don't have any friends you know and there's people who've asked this exact question is my new partner not having friends a red flag you know is it bad to only have a girlfriend but not have any friends yeah there are a lot of people out there who do not have friends and there are many reasons as to why making friends is challenging for some people this for me isn't about the friends it's about that no one yes no acquaintance being important enough for you to meet no family no one this isn't just the friendship like I only have a small amount of friends yeah I know and I think that that's the big thing like you are still especially if there's like work events that partners come to or there is like family things

that are happening like there are other ways for you to be brought in into his life in its full capacity of whatever his life looks like whether it has friends or doesn't have friends where you know that gives you the reassurance but only you will know that once you have been brought into that full capacity that's the reality and if he for a very prolonged period of time continues to keep you within a separate sort of like you're here and the rest of my life is here and I'm going to put it down to I just don't have friends close enough to introduce you to then yes there will come a point where this is a red flag and you will know that this is a problem because it will become increasingly evident that he is keeping two sides of his life separate and i think that

that's going to be the tell-all for this yeah i just don't want to answer this and answer it in a way which is like people who don't have friends clearly are fucking crazy because like we haven't said that no totally totally and i say this because it's fucking hard the only question i have is why don't they have friends why are they spy we also please please really let me we just need the added information about the relationship as well yeah that's it guys i really loved those questions they were all questions that we hadn't really had before which is nice hey keep them coming in keep the aftermaths coming in we want to do aftermath so just write into instagram we will always keep you anonymous keep your accidentally unfiltered coming in we want those

embarrassing stories please remember you can go and watch it on youtube and it's a very different experience to go and watch it we did keisha's about to say we did crack 10k which is really cool but subscribers by the way not dollars not just people watching yeah definitely we haven't made any dollars but subscribers but i think it's really cool it's a very different experience to watch it on youtube you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love