Life Uncut - Ask Uncut: Is It Wrong To Date Your Bestie’s Brother & Have I Been Dumped By My Friends?

Starting point is 00:00:10 And welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut, where we answer your deep, you dark and your burning questions. But before that, we need to talk about pickles. No, we need to talk about you. You've been bred coming this fly. No, there's nothing.

Starting point is 00:00:26 I mean, I can tell you about the fly. But I'm still shook at. I'm still shook at. I'm still shooketh from the last. You've waited a week. We actually just recorded this episode directly after the Wednesday episode. Sorry, I was faking it for the listener. The magic of podcast.

Starting point is 00:00:40 I have indeed not made Brittany wait an entire week to hear about the fly I swallowed on the weekend. Well, you've made me wait the whole weekend. You said saving it in its content. I'm saving it. I'm saving it to now. Sorry, you just said at the end of Wednesday's episode that pickles are making a comeback and I need more context. They're not making a, well, I mean, pickles have always been in. Like, I've loved a pickle, right? We're talking about legitimate pickles. This is not code for something. We're talking about a preserved cucumber. No, it's a really big thing on socials at the moment. Like, it's gone viral. People love pickles. Have you had any pickle cravings? things yet? No, but I have, well, I do, my favorite sandwich has pickles on it. This is, what? This is

Starting point is 00:01:16 riveting conversation. Apparently there's two kinds of people, like coriander. Apparently pickles are like coriander. You know how it's either soap to somebody or, we are a pickle family. Oh, Ben hates them. Okay, so, so Lola loves pickles so much. She will eat them. She's like the kid out of, out of, what's that little rascals? He's like, I got two pickles. I got two pickles. Anyway, that's a great movie if you've got kids. You should watch it. And even if you don't? No, it's not Rugrats. Little Rascals.

Starting point is 00:01:43 Oh, I thought you're saying, what's that little rascal? And I was like, the rascal for the movie. The movie called Little Rascals from when we were kids. That was a vibe. Lola. Rugrats was good, too. Rugrats was a little lit. You should get your kids to watch that.

Starting point is 00:01:55 Bring it back. And Cat dog. Do you remember cat dog? Cat dog. Oh my God. Stop. Wait for it. A long time.

Starting point is 00:02:01 A long time ago when a buff and a pair of her baby was born to cause. Little car car. No hoopers, no three-eyed frog. It's a K-9 feline. Little Cat dog. Cat dog! Cat dog! Alone in the world was a little cat dog.

Starting point is 00:02:15 Yeah. If you remember that, wow. And Fred will rock, sorry. And if you don't. Sorry, back to the fly. We're losing them. What about? We're losing them.

Starting point is 00:02:21 What about the other one that every so often, it's like sometimes I do feel like Rain Man a little bit. I'll be doing something and all of a sudden. Dude, you're not anything like Rain Man. There comes to me and I'll say, Do you know what? Have you ever ever felt like this? When strange things happen and you're going around the twist.

Starting point is 00:02:39 Have you? heard the word about the birds and the spider. Okay. We're wicked and jiggled. Oh, sorry. Lockie, who's 12. We've all been cancelled. And everybody who has unsubscribed.

Starting point is 00:02:50 So sorry. So sorry to everyone for listening to that. But that was a beautiful walk-down memory lane. What I was going to say is Lola loves a pickle, so much so that I put them in her lunchbox to go to school with. But she started getting teased for having pickles at school by some kids who think it's lame. And now she won't eat them anymore. It's real sad.

Starting point is 00:03:08 Kids are shit, man. Sad story. You don't get to tease someone for eating a pickle? It's the least of that kid's worries. I tried to put them in a lunchbox the other day. And she was like, Mom, no more pickles. The kids at school teased me. I was like, shit, she's that kid.

Starting point is 00:03:21 She's the kid that's got the weird lunchbox. Do you know that reminds me, is it my big fat Greek wedding? Do you remember when she? I'm sure. I did to sing that as well. No, remember? I'm sure it was my big. I could get this wrong.

Starting point is 00:03:32 But she was talking about because she was Greek and she was younger. At school, she used to get teased because her family sent her with all this Greek food. And she took like Domartis and stuff. You tell Marties and, like, Lola's giving me that. Yeah, except we're just like not cultured at all. No, I can confirm. Okay, good, good start, great start. The fly thing, I have a question for you.

Starting point is 00:03:54 I'm sorry, you can never tease me about my pigeon racing or my damn part ever again. Have you ever accidentally sucked a fly back? Sucked it off, I thought you would say. Have you ever accidentally sucked a fly back and swung it? followed it. Yeah. Like when you've been running, talking, walking, whatever. Yeah, but it's always, always, like I do it often.

Starting point is 00:04:16 There are times it has happened. It's been very quick. It's gone straight to the back of the throat, hit the tonsil and it's gone down. So I... It's not flying around in there having a good time. I had possibly one of the worst moments of my, the last couple of weeks. I wouldn't save my life, but it was really bad. I was in the middle of a conversation.

Starting point is 00:04:35 We were actually, we were talking about a Netflix documentary, which is also my vibe the week. And I was halfway through speaking about it. And a fly as I went, because I went to say something that I remembered and I sucked it back, but then it flew directly up the back of my nose. And then I started. So hang on. Where is it? What? Wait. So it went in my mouth. Up your nose. And then I coughed and it with propulsion, fong, went straight back into the back of my sinus. And I couldn't get it out. And then I started reflex vomiting. I'm in the park, huddled. behind the outdoor table area and I could not stop compulsively vomiting because I had a fly stuck in the back of my nose.

Starting point is 00:05:17 I am shocked. No one has ever had a fly in their sinus. Where is it still in there? No, I got it out. Full black chunk. Could you actually feel it like in your brain basically? It was dead and I could feel a chunk lodged because it wasn't moving or at least I don't think it was moving.

Starting point is 00:05:30 It doesn't have a lot of room to move. It's not going to fly around. It just plugged and I have tiny baby sinuses. It couldn't get out. My baby sinuses. They're not made for flies. There is no room for movement. It's not like a bat in a cabin.

Starting point is 00:05:41 No, it didn't have a cave. And it just got stuck in there like a plug. It was horrifying. It was the horrible, horrible feeling. Anyway, I survived. I am disturbed by that. I am too. Because that could have laid eggs in there.

Starting point is 00:05:55 Are you right? Okay, here's a question. When you swallow a fly? When does it go? How long is it alive in your stomach? Not long. Not long. You've got pretty strong stomach acid, woman of science.

Starting point is 00:06:07 I don't think it's lasting long. Is it in there flying around for a while or does the acid kill it in the esophagus on the way down? No, it's like when a fly gets in your wine glass, it drowns pretty quickly. I reckon it would die pretty fast. That's because it's in fluid. If a fly, if you hadn't had breakfast yet, right, and your stomach's empty, you got up, you've done a poo, you're not full, you're empty, you're cleared out. And you have a full, a whole stomach that is essentially a cabin. And their fly goes, you have never sounded dumber.

Starting point is 00:06:37 A genuine question. Is it killed by the acid in the three seconds it takes it down the esophagus? No, I think it's currently flying around my colon right now. Just buzzing around. Still just have a great time. Just having us. Just living life. I'm glad I waited a week.

Starting point is 00:06:50 I didn't wait a week. It's been an hour. Can that be our headline? Laura snorted a fly. Anyway, okay, what's your suck of your snow? Where am I? My vibe. Okay.

Starting point is 00:07:03 What's your vibe? I'm going to take over this episode. Don't you have an unsubscribe? I have an unsubscribe. It was just something that. annoyed me. I think I've spoken to you about this personally maybe and not made the podcast, or maybe it has, but it happened to me again last night. And it happened to me about three times in the last month. When you go out to dinner, I was a waitress for many years, right? That was my

Starting point is 00:07:22 job from probably 15 to 24. And I don't complain, when I go to restaurants, like, it's very hard for me to complain about anything. Like, I could pull a hair out of my food and I feel bad complaining, which is, I know that I'm allowed to complain for that. I just don't complain about things. But things have changed with service. The number of people that have come to clear our plates when we are not finished or we're still eating, and it really drives me up the wall. Like, I just think the audacity of trying, and I'm not talking about just clearing plates on the table that are empty. Firstly, I think if you're eating, just let the people be. I had somebody take the plate that still had food in it, that I was like dipping my bread in and just take it from me when, like,

Starting point is 00:08:05 My meal wasn't finished. And that is my unsubscribe. And I told you it wasn't really an unsubscribe. It was just something that pissed me off. If you're listening and you were a waitress or a waiter. Stop taking food from the pregnant lady. No, it's not that. It's just if someone's still eating, like I just thought it was a pretty basic rule that you don't take their plate if there's food in it.

Starting point is 00:08:25 I think it's just someone made a mistake. No. I don't think they did it on purpose. They're not doing purpose. They're not being like that. They're not doing it. That's a third meal I'm taking it. like, I don't know, but this woman looks like she's eating for two.

Starting point is 00:08:37 She doesn't look pregnant yet, so I'm going to take this away from her. I don't know what it is. It has just happened to me a lot lately to the point. And it's weird. It's weird. Ben and I will look at each other and I'll say, what about this moment? I have food in my hand still. And it comes to the point where they take the plate. And I have the food in my hand still.

Starting point is 00:08:55 And they're like, you finish it. And I'm like, dipping it still as they're taken away. And I was like, well, I actually wasn't. I just find it fascinating that anyone thinks that that is an okay thing to do. That's my rent. Wow. You are, so I was going to say it. You did say you were going to take over this episode, but I'm taking it back now.

Starting point is 00:09:11 I have a vibe. I have a vibe. Okay, hit me. Here we. Sorry, guys. We have some good advice for you all. My vibe is a TV show that I just discovered. It's five seasons and it came out in, originally in 2015, finished in 2019, and I have only

Starting point is 00:09:27 just discovered it. And my God, it is so good. The Rock is the main actor in it. love the rock. I just think he can do no wrong. I think he's a great actor. Rock on, would you say? I would say rock on rock. So it's called ballers. And it was originally like an HBO, but I think you can get it now on Prime. And if you, if you Google it, like they've put it on a few different streamers. Bear with me. It's an American sports comedy. So it's about NFL, like American football. And he was an ex-NFL player and he goes into

Starting point is 00:09:57 management and whatever. It sort of gives the vibe of, I don't know if you ever watched entourage, Laura, but it sort of gives them a vibe of entourage. That's great. It was just brilliant. Ben and I watched five seasons in probably the last two weeks since we discovered it. They're only half hour episodes, so they're quite quick. I just don't know how something's so good and so well made. You can tell it had a massive budget.

Starting point is 00:10:18 It's got a brilliant cast. I don't know how I never heard of it. I feel like something, he's one of the biggest actors in the world. I think he's the highest paid actor in the world. And I just feel like it didn't really make much noise for some reason at the time. But that's my record. Absolutely brilliant. If you want to just like get into something that you've got five seasons, you know,

Starting point is 00:10:36 I love shows that can go on and on. I also love when something doesn't like a half an hour episode is so easy to consume. So easy. And it finished yesterday. We've watched the last episode. And it was one of those things where I said about I sort of feel sad because like the rock's been in my life every night for like the last. But it feels like that.

Starting point is 00:10:55 Like we have dinner. We sit down. We watch a few episodes. And you really get involved in the storyline and now it's gone. And I just, I have to find something. I feel for you, Britt. Thank you. I hope you're going to be okay.

Starting point is 00:11:05 So ballers. Well, I have a documentary for you guys. Do you remember a couple of weeks ago we were talking about the hugging face cyber hack that happened, like the AI cyber hack on hugging face? So this is a Netflix documentary. It's quite short. It's very easy to watch. It is called Insta Docs AI Gone Wild.

Starting point is 00:11:21 And it is unpacking this, the hugging face situation, how AI are interacting with each other. But the thing about this, I mean, we've spoken about it. We did research on this topic. But this InstaDoc goes very deep on like the way in which the agents, the AI agents, were speaking to each other and the conversations that the AI agents were having with each other. There's information that hasn't been seen before or shown before around like how that actually unfolded and just how, if you're already a bit frightened by AI, just how frightening it can be. It also talks about how there's been some types of, I guess, like AI research or AI developments

Starting point is 00:12:00 that have been halted and stopped because of the erratic way in which the AI agents have started to behave. It's fascinating. It's quite frightening, but it really shows that this was not an ordinary breach, and it shows just how dangerous this situation really was. And I think even maybe more so than what we realized when we were talking about a couple weeks back. I was talking to someone on the weekend about somebody that uses AI, they linked their email to it. And I've been wanting to do that for a long time to clean up my emails and to organize it. People say that it is the best thing they've ever done.

Starting point is 00:12:32 It's hundreds of thousands of emails have been categorized, delete, unsubscribed from, whatever. And I know I would benefit from it as somebody that I think has like 60,000 unread emails. But I can't bring myself to do it. There's something about handing over access to everything. I agree. All like your emails have everything. All these financial information, job information, contracts, whatever.

Starting point is 00:12:57 Like just your whole personal life. I could not imagine. if something went south, what would happen? And so I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel exactly the same. And it's also been the reason. And, you know, like, I've had a bit of a personal shift in terms of, like, how I feel around AI. And like, you did vibe it once. Yeah. No, I vibe, I vibe, like, I vibe, like, using Claude from, like, a small business perspective. And there's absolutely things that have been massively beneficial. I don't, I think it's silly of us to be like, all AI is bad. Like, it is not all bad. But the future of it is being held

Starting point is 00:13:27 on the hands of a few very powerful people who are making the decisions for everyone. And so I think like that's the part that's deeply frightening. I found this really fascinating. I think it's helpful to arm yourself with all kinds of information. And I think the only way to really make an educated decision around how you feel about this stuff is to be educated on it. And I liked the way it was put together. It's very short.

Starting point is 00:13:51 It's very easy to consume. It goes very deep on the hugging face situation and specifically on the types of conversations that these agents are having with each other, like speaking and communicating like they're human because they've been programmed by humans. It's on Netflix. It's called InstaDox AI Gone Wild and it only came out about a week ago. Great. I'll watch it. I haven't seen it yet. Yeah. All right. Let's get into your questions. Question number one. Okay, girls, so I have been friends with my friend for over 10 years and I recently just moved back home. We all went to the pub together. I'm talking me, my sister, my friend and her brother. It was a great night. I was a great night.

Starting point is 00:14:26 and it was no secret that her brother and I were kind of vibing. He asked me out the following week and we went on a date. I immediately set the boundaries that his sister is so important to me and I want to talk about this with her first. I did that. We had a good chat and got the go ahead from her. And yeah, fast forward two months down the track, my friend has become very uncomfortable

Starting point is 00:14:47 and he's pulling away from both me and her brother. She doesn't want me at the house when she is there and she point blank refuses to hang out with us, especially if it's just the three of us. She has made this decision off the back of the three of us never actually hanging out together since we've started dating. So basically she's saying like, it's not being based on anything. She hasn't seen this together.

Starting point is 00:15:07 We're not inappropriate, whatever else. Our friendship feels really disconnected, but every time we talk about it, she says, I know this isn't me problem and goes on to talk about personal challenges that I feel like has nothing to do with my relationship with her brother. She's one of my oldest and closest friends, and I don't want to lose her.

Starting point is 00:15:24 But also, I really like this guy. and I can't help but thinking to myself, can she just get over it? Open to some advice on whether I am being a bad friend by dating her brother or if this is something that she can work through and we can work through together. By all accounts from the question, you did everything in like the most considered way. You went out with all your friends and one of your best friends you've been friends with for 10 years and her brother. And when you were out, you guys were vibing each other. When he asked you out on a date a week later, you went to your friend and had a conversation

Starting point is 00:15:55 with her. Like, you cleared it by her. You cared about the boundaries. You cared about making sure she was okay. I kind of think in this instance it's something she's just got to get over. Like, I mean, I don't think that you are in the wrong by dating her brother. I don't know. It's weird to me. It's weird to me that she's reacted so negatively to this. Would you have an issue with one of your friends dating your brother? Probably. Would you? But to the point whether you would like frost out the friendship? No, I'm joking. I wouldn't have an issue, but would I feel weird knowing my friends having sex with my brother? Yes, because I think I'm not going to frost a friend out. It would be different if I found out that they'd been

Starting point is 00:16:31 secretly dating behind my back for months, but they didn't know how to tell me, that would piss me off. I'd be like, you should actually just told me from the start. I'm never going to say to somebody, you cannot date somebody just because they're either a friend of mine and or a relation of mine, but you did the right thing. It is a hurt problem because she did approve it. I wonder. Even if she didn't approve it, we don't have the right to be like, hey, that's my brother. You can't date them. Like, I don't know if you can put those sort of boundaries on your siblings. It's a weird one to me. Look, it is a weird adjustment. You have to think if you guys have been friends for a really long time, if you guys have been best friends or very close, whatever the relationship is, you're obviously good friends.

Starting point is 00:17:10 If you've been friends with someone for that long and then the relationship dynamic changes because all of a sudden you're seeing your friend, but you're not seeing your friend. and you're only seeing her because she's coming to be with somebody else who happens to be your brother. There's definitely a shift in the dynamic. Of course there is. You can't blanket statements that you can't date my brother. If you feel uncomfortable by it, you can say that. At the end of the day, how cool would it be to have your best friend become a part of your family? I'm really lucky that I became really good friends with my brother's partners.

Starting point is 00:17:42 They are people I would always hang out with. I love them. They are so funny. We all get along. maybe it would have felt weird if we were friends before they started dating. But that's the dream. Is that not the dream to have like your siblings bring people into the family that you genuinely love? Yeah. And look, I get it. Things might not work out. It might go pear shaped. You know, maybe she's foreseeing a situation where like, well, what if this doesn't work out?

Starting point is 00:18:04 And then the friendship dynamic changes and all. Yeah, of course, all of those things are a possibility. But I don't understand. And maybe some people listening to this will feel differently to this. but like I don't understand having such like a weird response to your friend dating a sibling. You can't control the situation. What if I started dating your brother? I know he's gay. Well, I'd be like, wow, I wasn't expecting that. He's married to his husband.

Starting point is 00:18:27 What if Mitch Turing started dating your brother? I would be fine with it. I think it's weird to have this level of a reaction to it. I understand that there might be a moment of like, oh gosh, if I had a preference, would I choose this? But I think in this instance, the friend has done everything that she can do to be. be as thoughtful, as kind, as like consistent in trying to include her best friend of 10 years, whilst also exploring the opportunity of having a relationship with a guy that she clearly is viving with. It sounds like they probably hadn't crossed paths that many times prior. I kind of

Starting point is 00:18:59 think you're being selfish if you're making it that difficult for them to date. Totally. And the weird thing is where I don't think you get the say anymore. So she said, my friend said, I'm not allowed to come. She doesn't want me in the house if she's there. You might not want her in the house. house, but your brother might. Like your brother's allowed to have his girlfriend over in the house. It's just, the whole thing is strange. It's strange that she started off okay and then went south. I wonder if maybe she didn't think it was going to be serious a long term. And she's like, oh, you can hook out with him, whatever. I have a question. And I know that we don't have the answer to this, but I would love to know the age. And I don't want to be ageist, but I think potentially,

Starting point is 00:19:35 I think that these are younger people who have written this in. Like early dating, like still figuring things out, working out friendship dynamics. If you're like 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, this could feel more, I guess, like it could feel bigger than maybe if you're in your late 30s, your 40s. And I know that sounds incredibly ageist and it may not be the case. But I say this because you're living with your brother still. So that may be that you live in a sharehouse or you're still living with your parents. I'd love to know what that dynamic looks like. I don't think it's fair for your friend to say, like what you said, Britt, she can't come over if she's dating the brother when she's home. The only person that's creating conflict in this relationship now and in the friendship

Starting point is 00:20:11 is your friend. Yes, you guys could be younger, maybe also in a family home, but also maybe you're not. Maybe you're in your mid-20s and that's a different story. Okay, question, do you think she'll just get over it? Oh, no, I think you need to speak to her. When she says, I know this is a me problem, I think you sort of need to say, hey, yeah, it is, but I value our friendship and I want to make this work. Like, you're one of my oldest friends. I really have. something great with your brother and I don't want to have to sacrifice one for the other. Like, can you tell me why, what's changed for you? Because she was okay with at the start. I think you just need to have a really honest conversation with her.

Starting point is 00:20:49 Make sure she still knows that you value her friendship because she might feel jealous. She might feel pushed to the side, excluded. Most of us, when we get into a new relationship and we fall in love, your friends get pushed to the wayside a little bit because you become infatuated with your partner and you don't have as much time for them anymore. So she might just be feeling a little bit like not, it's one thing to feel neglected, but it's another thing to feel replaced by your brother, like your own sibling. But imagine, okay, so like put yourself in this situation.

Starting point is 00:21:16 And I know I've kind of flip-flopped on this little bit. You're at home. You are like a dead fish. You're like a fish that's been thrown onto the wolf that's fighting for his life with oxygen. Flip-flopping around. No, because like I think it is unreasonable to react like this, but I also understand why you would feel weird about your friend dating a brother. Imagine it's a Tuesday night, your best friend.

Starting point is 00:21:36 of more than 10 years comes over. You're watching a movie. They just go to the bedroom to fuck. And you're like, okay, I guess I just sit here and watch. That's why I think it's weird. Yeah, I get why. I get why she feels upset. Especially because you talked to your friends about sex.

Starting point is 00:21:49 Hey, you fucked my brother last night. How was it? Like, no, it's just weird. It's okay. I'd still be like, go get it, Brit. You'd go and live your life. Go get it. You would not.

Starting point is 00:21:58 I hope that he's nice to you. And if Kay, I would more so be questioning, like, is my brother a good guy to date? Or, like, are you a good person for my brother? brother. Do you know what I mean? I would be more worried if I could see if I could see the floors or I knew that it wasn't going to work out. I know what it is. It's the other stuff rise to flow and effect. So hypothetically, not everyone is super close with their siblings. They might all be close because they're family, but not close like friends hang out close. But if

Starting point is 00:22:25 your brother starts to date your best friend, all of a sudden your brother is involved in everything. You guys are going for a weekend away? Your brother's there. You guys are going for a dinner. Your brother's there. everything becomes you and that partner. There is no doubt that it dramatically will change the way that you have your relationships with all those people in your life. That doesn't mean it's a reason for her to abandon the friendship, but it is something that I think you do need to understand and talk to her about.

Starting point is 00:22:52 Well, I think it also gives validation to why she shifted. Because originally she was like, yeah, look, it's totally fine. And now she's probably thought through all the ways in which your relationship, your friendship, your friendship might shift because you are investing in her brother. I still think. He's doing a lot of other things. He's investing. He's investing in her.

Starting point is 00:23:13 I still feel the way I did at the very start. And that is that I don't think that you can tell your friends who they can't date, even if it is your sibling. And I know that she can react to it in a way that shows that she's uncomfortable or talks about it. But I think this is something that she has to get over. Yes. Get over it.

Starting point is 00:23:30 No. Yes. No. Yeah. Because I agree with you. She does have to move on. But I think you need to validate the way she might be feeling too that things have changed for her. And I think that maybe that's the only little ingredient missing.

Starting point is 00:23:42 A more realistic option would be me dating one of your brothers because my brother is like married and gay. I'd probably say no. I'd probably say you're not. I'm probably say you're not. Okay, what about if it was your dad, Britt? I am not. I am not engaged in this conversation. I'm also married.

Starting point is 00:23:59 I love my husband so much. I'm never going to leave it. My dad's also married. Tony? Hey, what would you do? If your dad was single, how would you react? Dad's different. Would you call me mom?

Starting point is 00:24:10 Hey, this is actually me. I just want to know. Can you call me mommy? Or would you call me sis if I was dating and brother? Would you call me sissy? I'm sorry. I am wanted to be known that I am actually feeling well. And I am not the problem in this podcast.

Starting point is 00:24:26 There is a common denominator here and it's not me. Yeah. She knows she's the problem and it's the truth. All right. Next question. The fly is stuck in your brain still, I bet you. The fly is atrophied. It's atrophied inside my brain.

Starting point is 00:24:39 I'm beginning to think so. Just call me mummy. Just once. Okay, call me daughter. Call me daughter then. Question number two. I think I've been dumped by my friend group. Do I bring it up?

Starting point is 00:24:52 I have always struggled to make friends. Even though high school and uni, I made friends, but always felt a little bit out of touch with them or generally felt a little bit left out of the group. I moved to a small town two years. years ago for a job and I knew no one and ended up making some friends with these really great girls through Netball. When the season finished, they would keep me included and they invited me to all of the group events. We became really close. About a month ago, two of the girls started to drift off and just wouldn't reply to messages. I just assumed that they were busy as one of the girls was still in

Starting point is 00:25:23 contact with me and talking to me, although her responses were brief and they were getting shorter and shorter. When I asked her what she had planned for the weekend, she said that she was going over to her partner's dad's house so that her kids could spend some time with their grandfather. However, over the weekend, I found out that they had actually all planned to go to a festival, and I only found this out after it had happened via Instagram. I have generally no idea if I have done something to upset them, but I was wondering, how do I navigate this? Do I bring it up and talk to them about it, and tell them that they have hurt my feelings by leaving me out or excluding me, or do I just forget it and pretend like it never happened?

Starting point is 00:26:01 This makes me fairly sad, but unfortunately, this is not a standalone or overly unique question we've had over the years. Friendship dynamics are so tricky, and they're ever evolving, they are ever changing, and they never get easier. But I think the way that you handle them gets easier as you get older. And I want to firstly say, I'm sure you're feeling really shixt. about yourself at the moment, but we've all been in that position. I would almost say there is always time for everybody where different people in the group gather or have events or dinners

Starting point is 00:26:34 or go away and you're not invited. It's also pretty normal. It's pretty normal for friendships to change. It's pretty normal for a big group of people to find subgroups within a group that they just click with more and then they become better friends. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as much when you find out a big group of you went away and blatantly lied to your face when you asked and what they were doing. It's pretty upsetting. It is. It's really shitty.

Starting point is 00:26:56 And I don't know if this is just because I'm in my late 30s now. And I think things do change the older you get. And I know that we always say age shouldn't matter, but it does because we evolve with age. We get thicker skin with age. We learn life lessons. You live a little. And I just think by now at my point, if that happened for me personally, I would just let it go.

Starting point is 00:27:16 But that's who I am as a person. I would say, okay, well, they've made their choice. What have I got to gain by 400? seeing myself on them. I think that that's, like, I would read the room a bit for me personally. Yeah, you know, I thought you're about to say you wouldn't let it affect you. And I'm like, no, I understand why it really affects this person. But I want to say, like, firstly, it sounds like, from reading this question again, it sounds like this group of girlfriends were already friends before you entered the group. So they were like, you know, maybe a close.

Starting point is 00:27:43 Yeah, a close group of friends. You've done netball with them. You guys have then kind of like, you know, clicked and become friends together. If they've been friends for a really long time, I don't think it's unreasonable to think that they would probably do things from time to time just them. And I think where one of the girls has gone wrong was that you asked a very direct question. And she probably realized in that moment, oh, fuck, like, we've left her out. She probably panicked. Yeah. And so, like, I don't think it's an intentional lie.

Starting point is 00:28:08 I don't think she meant to hurt your feelings. She clearly, like, they still shared it to Instagram. It's not like they blocked you from seeing the stories. I, would I bring it up is the big question. Would I, like, have a conversation with them? Probably not. I probably wouldn't be like, hey, you guys went to a festival and you did. didn't invite me and that made me feel really sad. But I might try and organize a dinner or something

Starting point is 00:28:25 with them. Like, I would try and do things to strengthen that friendship. And there's only so many times you can be knocked back until you, I guess, like, you take the hint. But I'm not saying that that's what's happened here. Just because they do some things without you doesn't mean that they don't want to be friends with you at all. Yeah. So I think if you're feeling left out, you're wanting to strengthen the friendship. I guess like garner, whether or not things are still good, maybe try and organize, like, go out for dinner or something. Like, hey, guys, it's been ages. Just wanted to plan a dinner for next Thursday or whenever everyone's free, like, is there a date that suits everyone? That is going to give you a pretty clear indication as to whether or not

Starting point is 00:28:59 they're investing in the friendship as well. And I know, like, when you say, like, two of the girls stopped replying in the group chat and stuff, it is still possible that that is life-related and that they have just been busy. And, you know, that one festival was the thing that they put in their time and the energy towards. I want to just double down on one thing. It doesn't mean that you've done anything wrong. That's like, it doesn't mean that, like, you have said something or behaved or done anything that potentially has upset them as a group, people and friendships are fucking weird and people navigate them in all different kinds of way. And it could just be that that was a pre-existing group of friends and they want to also spend time in that little group.

Starting point is 00:29:35 You know, I've always thought, and this is in relationships too. Okay, I'll take you back to my bachelor finale. My bachelor finale, in case you're new here, I got dumped. At the end of the bachelor, I was in there for three months. I was the last person standing. I thought I was getting my happy ever after. and he did this whole big speech to me. The end result was, I want to leave here single. I am not choosing you. And I got a lot of feedback from the public, from the producers after that because I sat there in silence and I said, I said, okay, and walked away.

Starting point is 00:30:10 And everyone was like, how can you not fight for that? How can you not say what? I get a reason. How can you not have a discussion? And Nick said to me, do you have any questions? And I said, no. Because it didn't matter to me. He made his decision.

Starting point is 00:30:22 He said he didn't, whatever it was, he's saying, I don't want you in it. And I know this is an extreme version of friendship, but I've taken that as a blanket statement for everything in life. If somebody doesn't want my involvement or my friendship or mean a relationship, I think it's a weird thing to push for that. You know what I mean? Yes and no, though, because the reason why I say yes and no is that I think romantic relationships and friendships are very different because romantic relationships, we're always pushed

Starting point is 00:30:48 to talk about your feelings, communicate, tell them how you feel, tell them if you feel as though you're not validated, validated, not getting enough attention, like explain your needs. We don't approach friendship like that, but friendships are such an important relationship that we have in our lives, but there's not enough space for talking about the friendship. If someone came to you in a friendship relationship and was like, really had some of the conversations that you would have around connection or around like putting in effort, XYZ, you would think that that was overbearing or too much from a friendship. I think in this instance, there's two ways you could approach it.

Starting point is 00:31:22 You could take our advice, which is that I personally wouldn't put them on the spot and say, like, hey, why didn't you invite me? Because at the end of the day, if the answer is because they didn't want to, what are they going to say to that? Like, how they're going to handle that in a way that doesn't make you feel miserable and awful about yourself? But alternatively, if you really do want to try and, I guess, like, build a foundation of a friendship with this group...

Starting point is 00:31:46 If there is one person you're still talking to a lot and you're still having more of a conversation with, saying to them like, hey, you know, like, I know that we're not playing netball at the moment where maybe we're out of season, but like I don't have a lot of friends here and I would absolutely love, if you guys are doing stuff and you're able to include me, I'd love to be included. They may not have just thought about you, right? Like, that is a possibility as well. So like, you could float it in that way, but definitely don't do it in an accusatory way. Don't do it in a like, you left me out. I feel sad. I feel left out because I don't think that that will get you the outcome that you want. There's not much you can do about it. It's just not. It's like a relationship in any form. You can only control what you can control. You can't force someone to date you.

Starting point is 00:32:26 You can't force someone to be your friend. And you shouldn't want to. And it's really harsh. But what's that stupid saying? Seasons. The apple never falls for. No, the fucking everything's for a season. Reason. A reason. Apple a day keeps the doctor away night. Yeah. Friends are for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Yeah, that's shit. So you might have been an apple season. And I know. I know. I know. No, that sounds rough. I'm not trying to be rough. But you need to feel valued in your friendships and you're not feeling that. And I think that's important to recognize.

Starting point is 00:32:55 And it's okay if they're better friends. It's okay if they do some stuff without you. And it's okay if you move on and have other friendships too. I know. But it's okay if you message them to catch up. It's just part of life. I think a good example of this. I have a friendship group of five girlfriends.

Starting point is 00:33:10 We all used to work together in retail. And we do so many things together. Like we always have like our monthly little dinner catcher. We're going away on a girls weekend soon. Like we do so many things together. But then we have one or two other friends that are like part of that friendship group, but they don't do everything with us because they kind of weren't part of the original group to start with.

Starting point is 00:33:29 But there's oftentimes where they'll come, whether it's birthday parties or whether it's like a weekend away. They're not invited to everything, right? They're not invited to every single thing that we do. And I'm sure there's probably times where they think, why aren't we invited? We're still a part of this group. But it is because like the five of us have had this deep. foundational friendship for like 10 years, you know, when I come to friendship and when it comes

Starting point is 00:33:49 to like, you know, I guess answering these types of questions, my belief is, my, I guess, experience is that nothing positive has ever come from putting pressure on a friendship in my experience. When people have said to me that they don't think I'm showing up enough or they want more for me or whatever, that has not resulted in me necessarily being able to give more or to do more. Oftentimes, there is a reason why people are pulling away and it's because that's how they feel about the friendship. And I think that if they are pulling away, there's not a lot that you can do to resurrect it if that's not what they want. But I do think that there are two options is either just like present a potential dinner or pull one friend aside and have a chart.

Starting point is 00:34:30 Join a new netball team. But it's very hard. I get it when you're like, I've always struggled making friends. It's fucking hard. It is really hard. I'm not taking that away from you. Okay. Next question.

Starting point is 00:34:40 Traveling with the opposite sex. I like this question. I have feelings. My friend has been dating her boyfriend for four months now. They went traveling recently to Europe to visit her family who lived there. Her boyfriend stayed overseas for an extra week while my friend had to come back. In this extra week of traveling, he was with another girl that is one of his friends. She's single and she's straight. They traveled together for a few days afterwards. They slept in the same room in the hotels. They said they had separate beds. But my question is, is it weird that he

Starting point is 00:35:10 stayed back an extra week to travel with this other quote unquote friend that is a single girl and that he also is staying in the same room as her. I feel like this is disrespectful to my friend, who is his actual girlfriend. I raise this with my friend and she mentioned it to her boyfriend that she was a bit uncomfortable by this whole idea and he told her that it was fine. They're just friends. He has lots of friends that are girls, nothing to see here. My friend now thinks that it's all fine and we live in this modern world where it's normal for guys and girls to be friends, travel together, stay in the same rooms. But I think it's a whole other level when you're in a relationship

Starting point is 00:35:44 and that out of respect for your partner, you wouldn't travel with the opposite sex by yourself, let alone stay in the same room together. I would love your thoughts on whether you think my friend's boyfriend does not respect her, or is this now the done thing? Look, I wouldn't like my boyfriend to be traveling and sleeping in the same hotel room as his female friend. I wouldn't enjoy that.

Starting point is 00:36:04 But it's not your hill to die on. I don't... No, she just wants to know if she's right, I guess. Yeah, but like even if you are right, if your friend is not alarmed by it and she's the one in the relationship, I don't know, I just think like there's one thing to be worried for your friend and to raise your feelings about it. There's another thing to like impose those feelings when your friend has turned around and said, actually it's all cool. Like this is not, I don't think that you need to be like creating the drama. Well, no, I sort of see what she's doing because I think what

Starting point is 00:36:31 she's saying is like, come on, guys, am I at this out of touch? Let's call a spade a spade. It sounds like the boyfriend has been gaslighting her friend into being like, hey, this is normal. It's modern world. People do it all the time. I think he's gaslit the friend. And now she's like, am I going crazy? Is this normal? So I don't think she's trying to meddle.

Starting point is 00:36:50 But I think she's trying to be like, okay, fucking am I out of touch? Like, are people doing this? People might be doing this. I don't think this is okay personally. Okay, what if it's a hostel situation? And then like you're traveling with your female friend? Sure. 20 people in a room.

Starting point is 00:37:03 And you're in like a hostel. Fine? fine. Also depends on how long they've been friends. Have they been best friends since they were five years old or did he meet her on Kintiki? Six weeks before. What's the friendship? Who is this girl? Where did she come from? What's the history? How do they know each other? How does she fit into the friendship group? Because to not come back with your partner and choose to stay with another girl traveling alone in Europe in the same room is a pretty big thing. I would expect that friendship to be so solid that they go back to being besties from when they were in you three.

Starting point is 00:37:35 Which is also why I'm like, don't insert yourself or create drama if you don't have the full picture necessarily because the reason why your friend might not be that concerned is because it might have that context. It may be someone who's been in his life for forever. Like, your friend's reaction seems as though she's not that phased about it. It seems like she became phased because you were so phased by it. And then that's when she raised it as a concern. If you were to just ask me this absolutely objectively, if I would be okay with my boyfriend staying back on a European holiday with his female friend and sleeping in the same hotel room as her, I would be like, yeah, alarm bells, I feel very, very weird about this.

Starting point is 00:38:13 I'm not okay about it. But maybe we need more context to understand, like, what is the female friendship? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know the age, but I think when you're younger, I say this because I traveled extensively. You're trying to save money. You're saving money. And to get two separate hotel rooms is literally double. Like it's so expensive.

Starting point is 00:38:35 Totally. But that's also why I think like a hostel is a good option, right? Like a hostel's an option. There's multiple people in there. You're staying in your own beds. I understand why you are dubious. I understand why you feel weird about it. I remember.

Starting point is 00:38:48 If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat though. Totally. With the front of the other room, you're just going to come and knock on the door at 10 p.m. So I remember when I was like 22. I think, or 20, whatever, who cares? And I'd been in a long- I had to fly, whatever. I was in a long-term relationship.

Starting point is 00:39:05 We weren't living together. So I was living in Wollongong still and I was doing uni and he was living north and I would like travel to see him most weekends. And he was at a different university. He had his own friends there. We would all hang out whenever I was there. But there was this one weekend where they'd been out to the uni bar. And one of his friends, who's a girl,

Starting point is 00:39:23 stayed in his bedroom in a separate bed, but stayed in his bedroom. It feels unnecessary. A fucking unnecessary. We had the biggest fight about it. And he was like, you're so unreasonable. Where was she going to sleep? The mattress is there.

Starting point is 00:39:36 And he does. He does have another mattress in his room. Which is also true, but it's not fair for you. Yeah. I was like, it doesn't, it's irrelevant. The point is that I don't feel comfortable having another girl sleeping in the same bedroom as my, in our bedroom of a night time. There's something about this that makes me feel as though the trust is,

Starting point is 00:39:56 the trust has to be pretty high in the first place and let me tell you, it wasn't, it wasn't that. I want to know this friendship background. Like, I want you to write in and say, how does he know her? That's what I want to know. But as a blanket, I would say that most people wouldn't feel overly comfortable, confident or excited about this scenario or situation. He's full of shit.

Starting point is 00:40:14 Do you reckon? No, I mean, he's full of shit for saying, this is normal. Yeah, it's not normal. It's not normal. It's not normal. It's not normal. It's not normal. It's just not normal.

Starting point is 00:40:26 And it's also a very big thing of your friend that she has seemingly been so cool with it. But like sometimes I do think that in relationships there are things that make us like it spikes your sighty senses, right? Like things in you are saying like, this is your intuition telling you that this is not a good thing. But you want to believe your partner and you want to believe that like their intention is not bad. And people do a very good job of reasoning themselves out of bad situations. But also, this might have been really pure intentions.

Starting point is 00:40:58 He might have been like, I don't have to go back to work yet. I'm going to stay over here. My friend from schools here or my friend from works here, I'm going to catch up with her. That all might be true. They might not have hooked up. It might not be, they might not be cheating. But even if they're not, the conversation should have been, hey, baby, how do you feel if we split the cost and she stays in the same room?

Starting point is 00:41:22 And you would say, I probably feel a bit uncomfortable. with that and he'd say, gotcha. Respect you. Respect your relationship. We're not going to do it. Not like, hey, I travel with this girl, by the way, we slept in the same room, whatever, your problem, not mine, it's real. Like, that's where the problem is.

Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah. If it was innocent, I would find it so disrespectful. And not the reaction of like, you're overreacting. Yeah. Yeah. That seems very like I fucked someone else and I'm conflicting. That's what it says to me. All right.

Starting point is 00:41:50 Last question. This one is a bridesmaidly dilemma and I feel like we've had some sense. similar questions like this come in the past. We haven't answered them. So I think this is a good one. We get lots of bridesmaids and wedding questions. I always want to do them and Laura says no. Laura's like too many bridesmaids.

Starting point is 00:42:04 Because we get, we get wedding questions every single week. I know because it's your biggest predicament. So relatable. All right. I need your advice on a bridesmaid dilemma because I am so torn. I recently got engaged. Yay! And I've started planning my wedding.

Starting point is 00:42:18 I've already asked three of my closest girlfriends to be bridesmaids, who I speak to all the time. My fiancé is wanting for. four groomsmen. So now I'm questioning whether I should have a fourth bridesmaid. Here's my dilemma. I was a bridesmaid in one of my friends' weddings a few years ago. And now I feel this unspoken pressure to return the favor. The problem is I don't know if I actually want to ask her or if I'm just scared of how she's going to react if I don't. We haven't had a falling out or anything. Over the years, we've just naturally drifted apart. We live in different towns, have our own friendship

Starting point is 00:42:48 circles and probably only catch up every couple of months. I still love her and value our friendship, but we are definitely not as close as we used to be. I have a feeling that she's going to be so hurt or even really angry if I don't ask her. And the thought of creating awkwardness or potentially damaging our friendship makes me wonder whether it's just easier to include her. But then I think it's my wedding. Should I really be choosing someone to stand beside me purely because I feel obligated? Would love your advice because I genuinely don't know what to do. I have your answer. for you. This is very easy, not complicated for me. You absolutely do not have to have someone as your bridesmaid because you feel obligated. You will regret that down the track.

Starting point is 00:43:29 Agree. Completely. Like 100%. And I, I just think of my wedding. I was just thinking like smiling then when I was thinking of them carried each other in and being silly and whatever else. Carrying each other in? What? I was thinking, no, I was thinking. I was like, I was at your wedding. No one carried anyone. Simon, when he can't you forget, when all the bridesma, bridesmaids and groomsmen came in. Simon picked up, who was my brideman, picked up Shannon, my bridesmaid, my best friend and he carried her in his arms just to be silly. It was just funny. And I'm picturing that back and it's making me laugh. Oh yeah. Okay. But when I picture, I would hate to down the track look back at that moment and be like, like, there's the most intimate

Starting point is 00:44:10 moment. There is not a more intimate moment than declaring your love and saying, I choose someone for the rest of my life, then having someone you don't want standing next to you in every photo. I agree. Just because you were theirs. I've been a bridesmaid for two of my friends in the past who both came to my wedding but weren't my bridesmaids. And that's simply because they got married 10, 12 years ago and we were seeing each other a time.

Starting point is 00:44:36 We were really close. We will always be friends, but they live in different states and different parts. We didn't see each other as much and I still love and respect them. But they just weren't in that tight three. person anymore. It didn't mean I love them any less. And so I think gone are the days where you have matching numbers and four and three. You could have 25 on one side and one on the other. I think it all comes down to what you see in the future. And if you already know that the friendship is drifting, like deeply drifting and it's changed so much, then I would say you're probably not going

Starting point is 00:45:10 to be any closer in five years. You know what I mean? Like you look at your wedding photos. Some people who are at your wedding, you will barely speak to again after the wedding. It's so weird. Like sometimes there's some weddings and it's almost like it's a farewell at the same time. And then there's other people who the friendship over the next five, 10 years will become even more intense and they'll become closer to you. And you'll think, or there'll be other people that you're like, oh my God, they weren't at my wedding. And now we're so close and they wish that they were at my wedding. Do you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:45:36 Like there's people and friends in our life that we were like, should we invite them? Shouldn't we know them? We know them that well. And now they're some of our closest friends and they weren't even there. I think of this all the time how many people, and I understand it, people thought it was so weird that I wasn't your bridesmaid and you weren't my bridesmaid. But it was weird for you first because you were first. So it was like, everyone was like, oh, so many people.

Starting point is 00:45:58 But this is the thing, a real friendship that doesn't change anything. So my, and I think we talked about the time. Oh, we talked about a heap. My wedding certificate is signed by Britt. With an ex-O and a little snarling bag. And a smiling bag. Like, you had an important role in my wedding. My four bridesmaids, I kind of go against this question.

Starting point is 00:46:16 And like, don't get me wrong, they are my closest friends. They absolutely are. But I was their maid of honour. So I had my four girlfriends, I had been them, each of their maid of honours, right? And so I'd been there with them through their weddings. I've known them for more than a decade each individually. I guess like for me, that kind of had always been how I'd seen the wedding. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:46:36 It was a weird thing. I just didn't fit into it. And then you just didn't. Laura looked into the future and she thought she's not going to be here in five years time. No. Oh my God. It wasn't that.

Starting point is 00:46:44 If that was the case, I would never have gotten you to sign my wedding certificate at all. Do you know what I mean? Like, you had such an important role in my wedding. But. And Laura signed mine. No. You signed mine. Did I?

Starting point is 00:46:54 Oh my God. Of course, I did. Yeah. It was a special moment. Oh my gosh. It's such a really special. She doesn't remember. I was very pregnant.

Starting point is 00:47:01 Do you know what I think of it as well is? It's like, I don't know about you in terms of like how your friendship group works. But I have a lot of individual friends, right? and different groups of friends. It's an impossibility when it comes to a wedding to satisfy every single version of what that looks like. And so for me, the people who I love the most had important roles in my wedding.

Starting point is 00:47:24 And each person had an important role. But there's also, you can't even do that. There's so many people you can love that much, that there's not enough roles. It doesn't take away from how much you love somebody either. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I also think other people are not going to get it. Like, everyone feels so differently about weddings.

Starting point is 00:47:39 Weddings is such a personal thing. at the end of the day, if you don't want to have her as a bridesmaid because you're not as close anymore, I would say don't do it. And I just think like if you need to choose someone else and I would be choosing someone who you feel deeply connected with, who you know is going to be there in the future, but also don't just put someone in there because you feel obligated to because your partner wants four. I don't think you need to. I also don't think that having someone as a bridesmaid or not a bridesmaid is the indicator of a close friend or friendship. It just simply isn't. And it certainly wasn't in my life and I don't think it needs to be that in yours. But like everyone feels

Starting point is 00:48:15 differently about it. For me, it was such a hard task to choose because I have such close friends that are all from different walks of life that I was like, I feel like now I'm in a position where I'm having to choose who is my best friend. And I took the root of choosing people who I had been a maid of honor for because I was like, this is the easiest route or I'm going to have like 10 bridesmaids. Yeah. And say, I don't even think you need to do that. I hate that people feel that pressure of like, fuck how do I just get around this let me pick people I've been bridesmaids for look someone's been married twice if I can if I can give you one piece of advice you didn't have any bridesmaids in your second wedding no I ran out of money you just had Delilah she was a bridemaid

Starting point is 00:48:54 yeah Delilah was my bridesmaid my last night Delilah was my bridesmaid in my second wedding no but honestly someone's been married twice this is not just for bridesmaids this is for a wedding marry for you. Have a wedding for you and your partner. Totally. Do not do it because you think you have to please anybody else because you have to tick boxes because a family member might get upset if you don't do this. A friend might get upset if you don't do it this way.

Starting point is 00:49:17 Who gives a fuck? You are going to look back and only wish you did what truly made you happy. People will give you that advice before and it's really hard to take it on board. But please do it. Just have a wedding that suits you that is going to make you happy. weddings are so stressful. The thought of you now sitting and being like, oh my God,

Starting point is 00:49:37 I feel anxiety about how to tell my friend she's not a bridesmaid. That weight and stress you're taking on is unnecessary. But I love that you're doing it. It's what a good person does. But I truly think a good friend won't be affected by that. And if she kicks the fuck off over that, it's fucking weird.

Starting point is 00:49:53 It's weird and it speaks volumes about, it speaks more about her probably than you. It's okay for her to be like, oh, thought I would have been invited. That's okay. That's a normal thought. You are invited, though. You mean thought I would have been a bridesmaid?

Starting point is 00:50:05 That's a normal thought for her to be like, oh, I thought I probably would have been one. But that's probably an internal thought. Like, that's your internal monologue. I don't think it's fair to go and put that onto a bride when she's already stressed and a friend. And obviously, it's a very considered decision. It doesn't mean anyone is less loved, but it means out of a friendship group of how many people you get to pick three, you know? Weddings are stressful enough. I feel like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:27 Maybe we've not answered this very well. I think we have. Brilliant. But like, personally. Speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. I just don't think that their level of stress that it causes people to try and like

Starting point is 00:50:39 manage the politics of the wedding is actually worth it. And I think ultimately do what is best for you, have the wedding that you want. And the people who love you and who are your friends are not going to be the people who question your choices when it comes to your wedding. Your friendships will survive and they will flourish. Amen, sister. And flourish. Anyway, guys, that's it from us.

Starting point is 00:50:59 If you have any questions for us, slide on into the DMs. Guys, please keep the questions rolling into Instagram. If you want to email us, you can, but Instagram is better. Make sure you put Ask Uncut at the top. You will always be anonymous. And also, there's a bunch of you now. We love it that are putting anonymous questions in the Facebook group. Send them to Instagram.

Starting point is 00:51:18 You'll always be anonymous, but we love them there. And it means that we have easier access to it for the podcast. So keep that in mind. If you're thinking of asking us a little pic-and-dickle-dickle-dick-d-d-d-d-d-d-tall. Tea mom, two, dad, two dog, two friends and share the love because we love love.

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