Life Uncut - Ask Uncut: Is The Bride Stealing? (& Should I Sleep With My Boss!?)

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

Ask Uncut: The Bride is stealing from her guests and should I sleep with my boss? Hey Lifers! Welcome back to Ask Uncut, where we answer your deepest, darkest and most burning questions. This week Laura's blaming Britt for her flu and we unpack the great teeth-whitening-strip disappearance mystery… Vibes of the week:  Britt: is the Aussie boys renovating a €1 Italian house who somehow have a million followers after two months (we're obsessed) Laura: . Britt's also got a true crime pick for you — Hedley Thomas's new series The Poisoned Wife. Then it's into your questions! IS MY HUSBAND CHEATING?Ten years together, three kids, a house, and then a text pops up on his phone from a female coworker asking what time he'll be there. He panics, snatches the phone, and starts backpedalling. There are hundreds of calls between them he's never once mentioned. Britt and Laura break down the red flags (and how to actually pull his phone records). THE BRIDE IS STEALING FROM HER GUESTS$450 a head for a destination hens do... and then the bride tries to pocket extra cash on top of it. The girls dig into when "wedding costs" tip over into straight-up guest exploitation. AM I BEING UNREASONABLE?A coworker she took under her wing has started copying everything: Her couch, her clothes, even her daughter's name. Is this obsession or just an awkward compliment gone too far? I'M GOING TO F*CK MY BOSS IN TWO WEEKSFresh out of a three-year relationship, a dick pic later, and now he's booking flights to see her. Britt and Laura do not hold back on this one… And we get the instant aftermath before the episode's even out. Keep your Ask Uncuts (and aftermaths!) coming! DM us @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram, and if you haven't joined the Life Uncut discussion group on Facebook, get in there. YouTube Timestamps 0:00 — Intro: Laura's flu, Britt's alibi & the whitening strip mystery 4 :30 — Vibes of the week: the €1 Italian house boys & Laura's true crime pick 12:49 — Q1: "IS MY HUSBAND CHEATING?" 25:18 — Q2: "THE BRIDE IS STEALING FROM HER GUESTS" 35:07 — Q3: "AM I BEING A BAD FRIEND?" — The Workplace Copycat 41:58 — Q4: "I'M GOING TO F*CK MY BOSS IN TWO WEEKS" 49:12 — Instant aftermath: did she do it? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Ask I'm Cut where we answer. You deep, you dark and you're burning questions. And I have a bone. Before you ask, hang on. Before you ask. Yes, I am wearing my pajamas today. No, you're not. You're just looking like, it's police. Is it police? Is that the name of it? Police. Police fabric, I think is what it's called. It's like that crushed fabric that you can put on. No, I'm, I don't know what it. No one cares. Okay. Okay. I have a bone to speak with you. I have a bone. People do actually care, Laura. your clothes? Yeah.

They do. Old jelly shoe? No, I have a bone to pick with you because I woke up sick this morning. It's got nothing to do with me. We made out once. It's your fault because you came into work on Monday. We sat in this tiny-ass room. I'm not blaming my three children who have also been sick, but I'm blaming you because

you breathed all over me and you came up close and you're like, That's actually... Take my sickness, my influenza, eh? That is actually the biggest lie you've ever told because everyone in this building kept a minimum two meter perimeter around me. Except for me. I like being close to you. You didn't touch me. You didn't come near me. We were meters away from each other. It's one of your three children. I doubt it. I doubt it. You came in, actually, you probably gave it to me. Because you came in being like, oh, my kids are so sick and then I got sick. You know what? I know that I,

so I wake up to everything. I am. That's a lie as well. I've been on a plane with you before. you have drooled, snored and slept through the whole plane ride. You did not wake up to anything. Wait for this. So I last night must have been so exhausted from being sick. Because I'm sick, guys. From Britney. From Britney.

So I woke up. Do you use like unwitening strips, teeth whitening strips? I do not. I have naturally glimmering teeth. I actually don't have. Must be nice. Do people still use strips? It must be nice to be so hairless and have like just naturally, naturally glimmering

teeth. Mine do not glimmer anymore. I have a best friend that's a dentist and he has whitened my teeth in the past. I will not be putting a strip in my mouth personally. Okay, oral B strips, chuck him in. And I'm, I'm very lazy. So what I do is I put them in at nighttime and then I usually wake up, because I don't go to sleep straight away. Like, I put them in, like, I put them in on Instagram or whatever. And then I'll pull them out and then I'll go and put them in the bit in the morning, right? I'll just put them in my side table, my strips, go and put them in the in the morning. Go hygiene. Yeah, love it. Love it. Scott, you know, and I, she doesn't know why she gets sick. She just leaves her saliva all

around the house. Why does her family keep getting sick? As if, all those people with invisolines that slop them out of their mouth and put them on the side table. Matt was one of them. He still has a retainer at nighttime. Okay. Spoiler, I think I'm working out why everyone is always sick in your house because you literally leave saliva everywhere. If it's not your strip, it's an invisible. Wait for it. Okay. So this is, this was actually what I was trying to tell you. So I put my oral B strips in. Not sponsored. Not sponsored. Lay down.

Lay down. Because they're really good. Advanced whitening strips. I laid down. I fell asleep. I woke up this morning and I got in the shower. And as I was in the shower, I was like, what the fuck? Where are the whitening strips?

You swallowed them. Where are the whitening strips? Don't tell me, wait. And I was like, did I swallow the whitening strips? I could not find them. I was like, your shit's going to be so white. It's going to be sparkling. No.

I was like, shawlily. Surely, you can't just swallow a whitening stream in your sleep. Nothing gets why you. Anyway, I went into my bed and I pulled back the covers, and I must have just peeled them off in my sleep. And they were stuck to my sheets in between that night. So my top one was there, stuck to the sheet. And I was like, where is the bottom one? Where's the bottom one?

I don't want to know. I went downstairs. And it was stuck to Matt's back. That is fucking rang. It's so rake. I was so tired. I honestly woke up in the middle of the night. Must have just pulled them out of my teeth and just throwing them in the bed.

To be fair, that's a better outcome than eating them because I feel like that is poisonous. Do you reckon? Nah, sparkling poo. You also can't leave those in your mouth overnight. They could ruin your teeth. There's a time frame for a reason. There's a time guidance. You're taking it too seriously.

No. Because my best friend's a dentist, I know. I was under strict instructions for how long you can whiten your teeth. Well, I whiten them for probably eight hours and then they ended up on Matt's back. Now he has this perfectly white strip on his back. And now I've got to wear sunglasses to look at you. I'm like, ew. Oh, my God.

Anyway, okay, vibes un-subs. What's your vibe in this week? My vibe is an Instagram account. They're so fun. So their name is, I love them. I'm actually so here for this vibe. I could not be more here for this vibe. Their name is the one euro dream.

From what I can see, their first post on Instagram was only in July. So in two months, they have accumulated almost a million followers, 790,000 followers. And what it is, is you guys may have seen online, basically Italy has this incentive in certain villages where you can purchase a house for one euro is a real thing, but the thing is the house is not a house. It's dilapidated. They're just, they need work. And the idea is it's to go and build up communities again because foreigners come in,

they buy the house, they do their own renovations and build up a community that's probably run down. And so these four Aussie guys who are just such bog and larkin, awesome guys went over, bought this house and they've started to renovate it. And they just share their stories online, but it's really fun to watch. It's a really cool idea. They're very particular people, like they're full of character and personality. And I just really enjoy following them. That is such a nice way of describing someone. They are a particular person. Well, do you know what it is? It's because people like personality on Instagram. And if everyone does, anyone could do this, but not necessarily

have it engaging. But there's something about four friends that are laricans that are putting in the hard yards themselves. It's just, I just really enjoy watching it. And so does. nearly one million other people. I got served it recently. I'm also one of those one million people that are following it. They are like lovable bogans. And also every time I watch one of their videos, I'm like, fuck, maybe I could do that. Like the amount of people that are now going to go overseas and buy one euro houses with the intention of kind of living this lifestyle that they are now living with their best friends. Sounds amazing. But also, these guys have set themselves up for life. Like once this is done, they have an account with a million followers. Yeah, but legacy accounts don't work like that.

Once you change what you actually are doing on there, people lose interest. So once this build is finished, unless they go and do another one. 100%. They can keep renovating. Now they've got their niche. I think it's amazing. Play on, boys. Follow me back.

Brittany underscore Hockley. Follow me back. Hey, if anyone else needs a vibe, it's Britney underscore Hockley. You should go follow. I'm actually going to vibe my own Instagram. Guys, can I vibe that? I'm really close to 300,000 followers, but I've been sitting here for a while. I'm a few thousand away.

If you listen to this and you don't follow me, can you go and get me over the 300 mark? I would love you so much. I mean, why you're at it, can you also follow a lady in a cafe? No, you've got over 400. No, I'm a 408,000 now. Or rub it in. I'd really like to tip over 410. Must be nice.

This is my problem with not being able to have kids. Family content really grows, you know? It's not that. I'm adopting, shut up. They have nothing to do with the kids. Also, I'm joking. It does because where... I would call you likeable.

The only difference I can see is that you won the Bachelor and you popped out three kids. No. No, I am serious. If you guys could follow me. I give you really good behind the scenes of my life. A little peep show. If you slide into Britsy ham, should be in here. You know what?

Just do it. If that'll get you over. Bit nip. Yeah. How many more followers do you need? Not nipple, but ariola. I wouldn't do a full nip. I don't think I'd like that.

I need, I think, five more thousand? Okay. I'm fine. You can get that easy. Let me have a quick look. Yeah, five more thousand I need, guys. If there's, and you know what? I've got the data of this show.

I know how many people will listen to this show. why don't you love me? Like play on. What's your vibe? Is it a salad? It's because it's all the fucking people that are in our Facebook group who are like, who are those bitches in the profile picture above this? Like, who are they? And we're like, hey guys, you're in a podcast Facebook group. And they're like, why? You're like, you're in our house. What podcast? We're like, it's called Life on Cut discussion group. So it's us.

Hi. So hi to everyone who doesn't know who we are. And if you're listening to this for the first time, welcome. So what salad have you got lost? I have a really delicious salad for you on this. These ones we've added Walmarts. Can I just say the amount of people who messaged off the back of last week's vibe because the salad recipe wasn't put in the show notes, as I said, and you all went hunting for it? I'm so sorry.

Sophie, you're fired. You're fired, Sophie. We said run, don't walk. And they literally ran and it wasn't there. Everyone did run. And I hope that some of you have made that salad because it is delicious. And you just used your own measurements. You just felt it in your soul.

That's why our downloads went up this week. They had to keep replaying the episode to get the recipe. because we didn't put it in the show notes. Oh yeah, speaking of, our downloads did go up this week. So thanks, guys. Welcome to all our new listeners. Well, it is producer Sophie's second week. So we are going to let that little mishap slide. All right, I do have a great podcast episode for you.

No, it's a series. Sorry. If you were into The Teachers' Pet, which took a strangle hold on me all of what, like seven years ago now, this is called The Poisoned Wife. It has four episodes that have come out so far. It's a podcast by Hadley Thomas, who is the same investigative journalist that did The Teacher's Pet. And it is, I mean, it's such a fascinating story.

It has real similarities of the teacher's pet. But basically what happens in the very first episode, I'm not going to give too much away. I want you guys to listen to it. I am hook, line and sinker. I've listened to every app that's come out so far. It says this. Basically, he's at work this one day.

Hadley Thomas is, the investigator. And he receives a suitcase, an incredibly heavy suitcase that is bound up. It is locked and it has been sticky taped around so that nothing that's inside it can get out. He then separately receives a key in an envelope, which is the key to open up this suitcase. And it turns out that this suitcase is a cold case from like the 80s of a woman who was murdered. Now, her name is Rosalind McQueen. This has been sent from an old detective who is now retiring, and he did it because he was never able to get it over the line. Basically, it never went to court. It kind of just lost steam. And Rosalind's husband had said that she had terminal cancer

and said that she committed suicide, which they just believed. But all the evidence, points to the fact that actually she never had terminal cancer and it was the husband who did it. The investigator who's sent it across, his name is Rex Bakes. He basically in his retirement was like, this is the case that has haunted me. I want it to be solved. The man who murdered her is walking free and I want the same outcome that happened with the teacher's pet. It's fascinating. It is done so well. Hadley Thomas is such an incredible storyteller, but also his investigations really take on a life for their own. And yeah, go and listen to it. It's really, really great. You always hear detectives say that there's that one case in their life that they will never get over. It does sound a little

bit dramatic how one investigator set the suitcase wrapped up with a separate key. Well, the reason why he did it is because he didn't want the documents to fall into the wrong hands and he didn't want anything to be tampered with. He also didn't want anything to go missing. He only wanted Hadley Thomas to receive that information. I think he had such an incredible hope. After the verdict of the teacher's pet, the perpetrator ended up going to jail. And that had been such a dead cold case in the water. Rex Banks was like, I want this to go to Hadley Thomas. He's the only person who I think can get enough, and it's not just the investigation, but get enough visibility to revive a cold case. So yeah, it's fascinating. Please go and listen to it. I am not a true crime junkie. I know you are

Brit, but if you enjoy true crime, you will, and you liked the teacher's pet, you will love this. Whilst we're talking about it, because I am the true crime person, I could save this for another week. I won't go into it. But another really good podcast series is by Headley Thomas, this journalist, because he's the best. It's called Dr. Death. And it just investigates this fucking crazy doctor that should not have been operating and should not have been in practice. And nobody could ever pin him down. Like he just had all these other people supporting him. It is a really, really good podcast series. So if you're interested, that is another one. Sorry, it's called Sick to Death, not Dr. Death. Hey, don't try and top my podcasting. Listen to the poisoned wife first. Well, if anyone's into Headley Thomas,

That's what I'm saying. Headley is brilliant. Once you get into him, if you've never heard of him, you will just listen to everything that he does. Actually, I would love to interview him. Yeah, actually, that would be a good one, wouldn't it? Let's get that. Okay. All right.

Let's get into your questions. All right, question number one. What the fuck was that? I don't know. I can't be sure. Numero. I'm not actually sure what she said. No one is.

Numano. And this is the person that you come to for advice. Really think about who you're sending this to. This was in the Facebook group. If you were not a member of the Life Uncut Discussion Group, run, don't walk, go there right now, sign up. This within the space of 20 minutes had hundreds of comments on it. I feel a lot of things about this and so did you. Life and Cut Discretion Group, go and join it.

But anyway, let's crack on. Is my husband cheating? My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We have three kids and a house together. This morning my husband was getting ready to go away on a work. trip for the week. I checked his phone for an authorization code and as I opened the phone there was a text message already opened. It was from a woman who works for the same company that he does. The text said, good morning. How did you sleep? I can't wait to see you today. What time will you be

here? Side note, there were no previous messages from this person. My husband watched as I opened the message and realized immediately he snatched the phone off me. I went into immediate panic and I questioned him. At first he brushed it off and then started to gaslight me saying it was nothing and why was I even on his phone in the first place? I was obviously super upset and he then started to apologize for his reaction and kept assuring me that nothing was happening. According to him, this was the first time that she's ever texted him and he wasn't even sure why she would text that to him. I can't help but feel that this is super flotatious thing to write to a co-worker. I went through his call log with this woman and there were hundreds of calls back and forth, which on one hand is an

uncommon as he does make a lot of work calls, but he has never ever mentioned her name before. They were also friends on Facebook. I really don't want this to be the end of our marriage and family. However, I don't even know where to start. He has offered to do anything to reassure me nothing has happened, but I'm just numb. Any advice on how to navigate this would be so appreciated. It's pretty hard for us to make a blanket statement here, but I'm probably going to you anyway. He has deleted some text messages, that's not the first message that she has sent.

Absolutely not. he is deleting those messages because the first message isn't good morning, how did you sleep, can't wait to see you. Like that is, he would have got 100 of those, I think. You can also just go and pull his phone records if you want. It shows you not only phone calls, but it shows you text messages that have been received from certain numbers. Where? What do you mean? When you pull your phone record, you know how you used to get sent? What? Yeah, you can still do that. Yeah, you still have access to that if you go into your, like if you're with Optus or something, you can go online and check it. You can't check what the messages are, but you can check.

phone numbers. Can you really? Well, just check that. I'm pretty sure. Okay, we're doing a live verification of this because I haven't done it, but you used to be able to, when you got your bills sent to you. And also think about it. Like if they were ever trying to solve a crime, that's what they do. They go and pull records. But producer Sophie's googling it now. That to me is fascinating because if you can do that, I absolutely would be like, hey, if you're promising me nothing's happened, that show me your text, I want to see, I want to see. Producer Sophie, am I right? Am I pulling shit out my bowl? From a quick Google, and I'm not the authority on Optus, but it definitely says that you can check your text message history log in your Optus Act so you can see the text numbers that you've been texting.

Yes, Queen. I'm referring to myself. Yes, Queen. Thank you, producer Sophie. That is a game changer. I always just thought the text messages were the mysterious thing that they went. We sent so many of them. Who's keeping a log?

No, you absolutely can just access your records. So if you have access to his app, if you have a shared phone record or family plan or whatever you have, and if you don't, ask him to say, hey, I want to see because I don't trust you. Hundreds of calls is not a normal thing. It's not normal. If my husband is making hundreds of calls to a woman, also receiving good morning texts, what time are you in, looking forward to it, blah, blah, blah, blah. There is a siren going off in my head.

I think, look, I was reading through all of the comments. You guys, and also I want to say, everybody answered this question and the Facebook group with the kindness that it deserves because this is a fucked thing to discover, especially when you have a tiny bit of doubt that's been planted. Like that seed now is planted in your mind, but you don't have proof. And so you're like left in this limbo of do I believe my husband? Do I trust that he's being honest? But everything in my body is telling me that he's lying right now because you know that no woman

would just send a, how did you sleep text to someone who is their co-worker that they have never ever texts before? Like that's not a normal exchange of conversation. But also they can't wait to see you today. It's not good morning. It's like I can't wait to see you today. You do not send that to a married colleague in the morning before work. There's absolutely nothing in that message that was about work.

There wasn't like, hey, can't wait to see you. With that file. It's been a shit show at work today. Like we've got heaps. You know, there's nothing that has any context to work. The only thing that was written in that message was, good morning. Good morning text is firstly fucking weird. How did you sleep?

Super intimate question. fucking also super weird from a colleague. I slept well with my wife. Thank you. And I can't wait to see you. Nothing to do with work. No one, no colleague is sending that straight off the bat. The reality is, is, and what was the overwhelming response from everyone in the comments thread? Was that you know the answer here. You know that he's deleted more messages. Your instincts are correct. We can't tell you how much is going on. We can't tell you whether it's an affair. We can't tell you whether he's like full cheating, whether there's just been flirtations. But at the very minimum, he has been texting her way more than what he's telling you the truth of this. There is

so much more going on here. And I don't know how you're going to find that out unless he truthfully is honest with you. But I think that the place where you start, if he's saying, I'm going to do anything to make you believe that I'm being honest, get that fucking call log. Pull them records. Get that call log. Because that will tell you more than you need to know. Records don't lie. What I will. Records don't lie. Records don't lie. Records don't Why? Who are you? All right. Hadley Thomas, records don't lie. Like I said, I've listened to a lot of investigations.

I know how to find out. I know how to get shit done and it's with those records. The other thing I would say here is it's a really big alarm. His response to you. Yeah, 100%. His response to gaslight you and the immediate defensiveness and accusations, what were you doing in my phone anyway? Like that is such a traditional reaction to fuck I've been caught out. I'm going to deflect.

and put that blame back on you and make you feel bad for invading my privacy. For me, massive red sign. Again, I know that I'm coming in harsh. He might not have physically done anything, but he's definitely some kind of emotional crossing of lines here. Some boundaries have been crossed. If another woman is messaging him without him conveying that to you, if he's having some kind of relationship to the point that he's having hundreds of conversations

with someone and you don't know about it, then there's an alarm. because you should know who that person is. If that colleague is so important to him and he has so much to do with them, you should know. What about the last bit of that message? Good morning. How did you sleep? I can't wait to see you today. What time will you be here?

What time will you be here? Obviously, they're going on this work trip together. But like if they were having an intimate relationship, wouldn't she know that already? Like, what time would you be here? Wouldn't you? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Like, maybe I'm reading into it too.

I'm trying to like decipher every single part of this text message. Well, the fact that the message comes, for a week away actually makes me feel sick for you. And I'm so sorry because it's not like it's just a work day, right? It's not like you've read that message and you know that your husband's coming home at the end of the work day. You've read that message knowing he's going away for a week with this woman that has been messaging him and calling him. I understand why you feel the way you do. The other thing I will say is as much as the response from our life is, and maybe ask, he's like, hey, deep down, you know the answer. That's easy to say. And I can say that because that crazy

relationship I was in with a person that had a double life for a few years. If you're new, I was with someone for two years that was marrying someone else, he had a full double life. Episode three, if you want to go back into the trenches that far. God, I would do that differently now. That episode? Yeah, I would convey that differently. And I, yeah, anyway, my point, have you ever listened back to it?

No, it gives me trauma. Do you know, if I still see this, how crazy it is, it must have been 10 years ago now. No, it's longer. I mean, Matt and I have been two over 10 years. 12 then. I think I was like 25. Yeah, eight years. Joking. But my point is, if I still see his car, not his, just the type of model drive past, it gives me a sick feeling just for a second where I panic and think he's there, even though it's not him. He looks another city. But the same thing, everyone said to me at that point, it's so obvious. There are so many signs,

you must know deep down. And I did know deep down, which I only realized in hindsight. It's very simple for people to say one thing to you. Like, the signs are there. Don't be so silly. Open your eyes. It's another thing when you've got three kids and it's your husband and you are holding on to any little ounce of hope you can because you don't want the alternative to be true. You do not want the fact that your husband of however long and the father of your kids is having an affair or doing something wrong. So you grab onto whatever glimmer you can to be like, oh, no, I do believe what he said, even though there's a hundred other signs that point in that direction. for you to get there. You have to get there on your own and you have to figure out deep down

what you want from that relationship and what you're happy with, what boundaries you're happy to cross. Can you still build trust if you think that this is happening? Because if I thought that this was happening but there was no proof, I wouldn't be moving on from that. I would be thinking about that every day. Same. Every time he goes away. And we all know that I don't like to let things go. Yeah. Okay, my question for you though, Brit, is, okay, imagine this situation. He comes home in the work trip. She's listened to the podcast. She knows that she can ask for a call, like a message log and that that's a thing that now you can access if you go into your my optus or whatever the other Telstra account, whatever it is. And he says, no, I'm not giving it

to you. Well, there's your sign. If there's nothing to hide, there's nothing to hide. If it comes down to like, we are trying to save our marriage here and all you have to do is show me your call log and he says no, it's because he's hiding something. Otherwise, there's no other reason for him to say. There is zero reason for your husband to not show you his call log. Yeah, and I also really want to, I really want to stress this point because it's so easy for someone who is lying to you and who is gaslighting you to make you feel like asking for that is an unreasonable request. Asking for a call log or a message log is not private.

You're not even asking to read the messages. No. You're just asking for him to prove that that was in fact the first message that she sent. and that message is an inappropriate thing to send to a colleague, and he knows that, you know that. So it should not be something that he fights, especially if he has nothing to hide. If he has nothing to hide, he's not going to fight it. He's going to be like, hey, I'm sorry you feel so insecure.

Here it is, I've got nothing to hide. And here's the proof. He's only going to not show you, and he's only going to say and start to be like, you're making something out of nothing. Like, you know, this is your problem. You need to trust me. The issues we have now is that you, like, he is going to do that. if he's lying. And that is your, and I think you just need to be so strong in your belief

that what you're asking for is not unreasonable because it's fucking not. And if he tries to tell you it is, play in this podcast, because it's absolutely not. Yeah, tell him I'm onto him. Tell him, tell him we're onto him. Laura and Brittany, your best friends told him to go fuck himself. The only other thing that I would say, I was like, did I take it too far? Too aggressive. Crossing boundaries here. No, the only other thing I would say, and this truly worries me now with the advancements in AI and chat GPT and shit. If you do it and he's going to show you, watch him go into the Optus app to show you.

Don't let him produce the documents because AI and chat GPT and Claude are amazing. And if he puts that in and says, recreate this and take these numbers out, it will do that. So I would just make sure you can actually watch him go into the app, watch him pull it up and see for yourself. You deserve to know.

You deserve to not have the anxiety and you deserve to not be gaslit in this situation. Go forth. Good luck. please keep us posted so we can aftermath the shit out of this. We need to know. You need to tell us. This is the story we must know the ending too.

So yeah, anyway, we're thinking of you. We're thinking of you. Okay, next question. I can't wait. The bride is stealing from guests. This also is in the Facebook group. Man, I love the Facebook group. Okay, so I am in a big friend group with the bride and the groom.

I was the groom's mate before he met his now fiancé. I understand weddings are expensive, but the bride recently organized accommodation for her Bachelorette weekend. It's a whole destination thing. Brackets. Eye roll. End of bracket. So I did overtime. I picked up extra shifts, etc. to pay the $450 each that the ladies were asked to pay to chip in for the accommodation and this pottery thing. $450 is still a lot. It's a lot to be asking people to like go and front up for your party. And one night away, a pottery class and was their drinks involved. I want to know that. She didn't specify. She just said accommodation and a pottery thing. Okay, so fast forward, over the weekend I was out with the groom and his

friends and he mentioned how expensive the wedding is getting and how great it was that his fiance's mum ended up covering her bachelorette weekend. I couldn't hide my surprise and was immediately enraged. I said, um, no she didn't, we all paid for that. He confirmed it had always been the agreement between his fiance and her mom that her mom would cover the whole bachelorette weekend. The bride messaged me. He's obviously gone home and told his partner that now I know. So the bride then messaged asking me not to tell the other girls and said that she'll send my $450 back. So now she's buying her silence.

I don't even want to go to the wedding now. It's no small amount. Should I tell the other eight ladies that the bride has essentially stolen from them? This is such, okay, I would not be blowing up a friendship group. I would not be blowing up the Bachelorette party. I would not be blowing up, you know, everyone's perception of the bride. I think it's a very tricky one because she's obviously decided that the money that mum was going to spend for the Bachelorette party could be better spent on other things in

the wedding, right? So she's like, well, if everyone pays for themselves, which usually at a bachelor's party, normally if it's a destination bachelor at party, everyone does pay for themselves. That is just the reality of it. You don't normally get your mom to pay for everyone's accommodation and everything else. the bachelor party. So in her mind, what she's done is being like, okay, mom, it's the bachelor party is going to cost 4K or whatever. Her mom's paid her for that. And then she's putting that money towards something else in the wedding. Is that deceitful? Absolutely. Is it frustrating when you are

the person who has not benefited from the mom? Absolutely. But ultimately, I think it's kind of, it's not the norm for the mother of the bride to pay for a bachelor at party. So like, I don't think that you're unfairly out of pocket, even though it is very expensive. 450 is a lot of money to spend on something like that. The only other part to this as well is that it's a destination bachelorette. So if that's like accommodation but also a pottery class, it probably did cost about $450. I don't know.

Was that drinks included? Like what else was included in that? How many nights was it? I don't know. I just don't think you should fuck up a friendship over it. That's how I feel. I understand why you're pissed. I do 100%.

And I don't think you should. fuck up a friendship either, but you're allowed to be disappointed, and you're allowed to feel like it was a bit of a scam because she did the wrong thing. I do think that, and I understand weddings are expensive, but that's not your guest's problem. If you want to have an expensive bachelorette

and your wedding blows out, the cost doesn't go back on to your guests. And that really bothers me when people do that. It bothers me when people expect X amount of gifts and money to cover the wedding. And I don't know. For me, it's not that. Like if you want to put something on to celebrate your union, then that doesn't fall back on to whoever you're inviting.

Having said that, I understand what you're saying, Laura, where you say, okay, as much as the mum said, hey, I'll cover five grand for everybody, that could have been used elsewhere. Yeah, but it wasn't. I know, but what if the mum was like, oh, I'll pay for the Bachelor at party, but she was like, actually, I don't want you pay the Bachelor. I want you pay for the photographer. Do you know what? That's what she should have done and not lied to her friends. I know, but I guess like maybe she would, I don't know. What I'm trying to play here is devil's advocate, and that is, is like, hens parties are not free.

Traditionally, they're not free. So, like, yes, you didn't benefit from the mum paying for it, but it is also her mom. And if she wants to put the funds towards something else, is she entitled to do that? Because I've never been to a bachelor at party where it's been paid for for me. I have always paid. No, we didn't pay for things for yours, do we? The whole thing was free. You didn't pay a dollar.

Oh, thank you for that. You did not pay one. Did your mom pay for it? Did you make money of it? None of my guests paid a dollar. Okay, well, look, apart from yours, Britt, realistically, it is absolutely not the norm because most people are not in the financial position to be able to pay for a wedding and then also pay for an entire hands party

as well. So, like, I don't, I don't know. Part of me thinks that, yes, she's taken an opportunistic moment in this, but I also am like, well, fuck, it is what it is. I think if you're going to lie, get your husband on the same page, for God's sakes. Totally. Like, if you're fucking over like eight bridesma, it's all, the only place she went. wrong was not being really honest with her bridesmaids. All she should have done from the start

was say, hey, mum, can you actually pay for the venue? Can you pay for the cake? Totally. Can you, or can you just donate that money to the wedding? Because that's why people feel like they've been scammed. Like, that's why this listener and she feels like her other eight bridesmaids or people that are going to the wedding, the hens feel like they have been hired done by. Because on a technicality on paper, if you were writing this down, you were like, hens has been covered. We'll still pay $450 to go. even though Hens has been covered. Yeah.

You feel like, what a bitch. She has scammed us. Your heading was bride is stealing from guests, which is a very dramatic. You definitely got our attention. So at the end of the day, would you have felt this way if the mom had paid five grand that went to the cake in the venue and you still had to pay? You wouldn't feel this way. It was just the way it was conveyed and it was hidden from you.

And I totally get it. I'm not taking that away from it. I would just try and be understanding that she fucked up in the communication. She shouldn't have hit it from you, but she's obviously still a good friend. I wouldn't go and fuck up the wedding. Yeah, and obviously the bride also thinks she did something wrong. Otherwise, she wouldn't be saying, hey, I'll pay you back your $450. Don't tell anyone.

She obviously feels guilty for it. She knows she didn't handle it in the right way. I'm not saying that the bride is faultless. What I'm saying in all of this is like that it's an unusual circumstance that's come up. And I think it could have been managed in a very different way. But yeah, she obviously recognizes that she has done the wrong thing. and she has misled her own bridesmaids. It's going to change your opinion of her

because this is one of your best friends now. Like obviously you're at her hens party. She's a super close friend of yours. And now you think differently of her. You think she's a tired ass. You think she's a bit of a cheap skate. That's a real shame. I don't think you'll ever not think that in the back of your head.

Like, oh, remember that time that she fucking like scammed us to get money out of us for her hens party? You're going to always think that. And that's a really disappointing impact it's going to have on your friendship. She has written an update. Here we go. I love it aftermath that comes instantly. Instant aftermath is how we need to do everything. Whilst I don't care for the bride's double-dipping from her guests,

my original friend, the groom, is the innocent bystander here. I am not going to blow up his wedding over this, so the bride and I have talked. She said that her mother paid for the accommodation weeks before she sent us the request and our money was then used for incidentals because the budget had blown out. I've told her that while I'm annoyed she couldn't just say that in the first place, I'm not going to say anything until after the dust settles from the wedding. I've also told her not to refund me until we sort it all out with cool heads and cool hearts. So basically she's saying she's still going to tell people but after the wedding.

Oh, I think that that's a bit. I think you need to know. Let it go. Let it go. I think if you're holding on to say it after the wedding, I don't know. To me, it feels like there's like a vindictiveness to it. The reality is it probably did blow out and it probably has gone over. And yes, she didn't communicate it well. Yes, she double-dipped, but you know what? Ultimately, she is going to be the one that's more out of pocket. Like, it's not like she's profiting from her friends to have a wedding. The wedding is going to cost more than this. Who knows, the mum might have paid for the whole wedding. And I'm sure she, like, that happens all the time. Don't give her a wedding gift if you feel that inclined to it. Like, she's going to understand why. But don't go and afterwards bring up this thing that happened six months ago. Like, it's just going to get bitchy and nasty and you're not going to end up being friends afterwards. It's not worth it.

Yeah, you also need to have some grace for your friends as well. she definitely made a mistake here with her communication, but it doesn't sound like she's a bad person, and it sounds like she was just trying to put it towards something else at the wedding. I wouldn't blow it up with other people. Feel the way you feel. Talk to her again if you want, if you want to get the refund from her, but I wouldn't cause a divide between her and eight of her closest friends. Don't you think it sounds like a bit of a threat?

I'm not going to say anything until after the dust from the wedding settles. I've also told her not to refund me, and we can sort it out with cool heads and cool hearts. It's like, I actually, though. No, but it's, it is and it isn't, though. It's like, you're saying, she's saying, hey, I'll refund you for $450 if it's upset you. Like, I don't want it to become a drama. And she's like, no, no, no, keep the money. But I'll make sure that we have a big discussion about this afterwards.

I read that as a bit of like a, that's because that's what you'd do. I would never. This situation wouldn't happen. I would never. No, I read this more and I think it's smart. You always shouldn't respond with high emotions. You shouldn't respond when you're angry and upset, especially something as big as this. I like the fact that she said, look, I'm not going to tell anyone.

Let me just sit on it. We'll deal with it after. I would probably be so inclined to say she won't end up accepting the $450. I think when it all blows over in a month's time or however long, she'll be like, don't worry about it. Just let it go. I think let it go. Just don't give a wedding gift. That is your wedding gift.

Let it go. It's not worth it. Aftermath that one too. Next question. A copycat extreme question mark. Am I being unreasonable? I work with this girl in a small workplace who I befriended because she was. was struggling to fit in and I felt sorry for her. She quite quickly leached into and onto me and

became quite obsessive with my ways and interest. It's quite the word leached. It's really unflattering, isn't it? She does not like this person very much. For example, she came to visit, commented on my couch, then went and purchased the exact same one a few days later. She changed her style with her clothes, but the one that got me the most was the fact that she copied my daughter's name, Valentina. She claimed she had it picked out before she got pregnant. She got pregnant, but I'm just not sure about that. I asked a few friends and family their opinion, and it was 50-50. Some said it's just a name, don't stress about it. But the other thought it was next-level weird. But that's not where it ends. She copied my daughter's birthday invite word for

word with the same theme. She wanted to borrow ha-loom items for me to use for her daughter. I've ended up distancing myself as it was becoming too much. She messages every now and again saying that she feels forgotten and like we don't hang out anymore. I use the excuse that I'm busy with three kids, which thankfully I actually am, but I want to know, am I being a bitch and a bad friend? It's a little weird. It's fucking weird. It's a, it was fine. Up until she called a kid Valentina.

Until she called the kid Valentina. And then ask for your heirloom pieces and had the exact same birthday party. I think that it is flattery in its greatest form, but what it screams to me is that she's someone who struggles with like having her own identity. She doesn't have maybe her own style, her own sense of self. She obviously sees you and loves the way that you dress. loves your style sense. And I don't know that, say they say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but it's one of those things where it can kind of morph into its own thing.

It can become frustrating when you think that someone doesn't have something that feels separate to you. But it is usually because that person doesn't have the capacity or ability to do that for themselves. And so it's admiration, but it starts to go into a weird place. I don't think it's as bad as you say it is. And I just, like, she bought the same lounge. Okay. She saw that you had a cool lounge and it's comfy. She bought the same one. Is that a really big deal? Like you're living separate houses. I don't feel like that matters. Like if somebody buys the same lounge as me, I'm not like, that's weird. Get your own lounge. I think it's weird when she's named her daughter the same name. She's copied a birthday invitation word for word. It does become frustrating when you're like,

I'm friends with you because of what you bring to this friendship and relationship. I want someone who I'm growing with, not someone who I'm growing. But she wasn't friends with it because of what she brought to a relationship. She was friends with it because she had no friends. It was a sympathetic friendship. It wasn't born from similarities. And, you know, you did a nice thing and you took someone under your wing. I befriended her because she was struggling to fit in and I felt sorry for her, which is a really nice thing to do.

But I do think that like if somebody starts to wear the style of clothes that you wear, that's because she probably looks up to you. She probably looks at you like, oh, she's cool. She's got fashion sense. I like the way she looks. Maybe I'll take inspiration from that. And if you do think it's like she doesn't have many friends, maybe she doesn't have that many people to take the inspiration from. The daughter's name at the end of the day, you don't know.

You absolutely don't know. As much as it feels weird, you do not know if she really didn't have that name picked. Like she said, I've always had it. She may have. That may have been on her list for a really long time. So that's a bit subjective. You're never going to know what the truth is. You're not having been friends for 20 years.

You don't get to know if you've ever spoken about friendships in the past. Do you have to say friends with her? No, you don't. If you feel uncomfortable by it. That's fine. She sounds very unthreatening. She just feels like she's taking inspiration from what you do because she looks at your life like life goals.

The way you had the birthday party. The way you dress. The way you style your house. Your daughter's name. Maybe we're not seen as much. Like maybe there's more behind the scenes and you feel like it's weird and creepy. But I know loads of people that take inspiration from each other. No, I don't think it's that she thinks it's necessarily creepy.

And I actually don't think that she's thought about it too much. I think that the problem is, is like, you're not close enough friends. you're not getting anything out of the friendship. You've got three kids. You are time poor. You're not going to spend your time with someone who you get nothing from except that they mirror you. And that's how I interpret this. If I had someone who brought nothing to the friendship and I felt as though everything I was doing

and they were just copying, there's only so much time that you have for, and this is going to sound really fucking harsh, but for like sympathy friends. Totally. You don't have time. And so I know when you say, I feel like I'm being a bitch, I feel like I'm being a bad friend, you're not being a bitch. you are being a bad friend, but that's because you were never a great friends in the first place. And it's okay. It's okay to decide that actually you don't have time for a friendship or you don't want that friendship in your life anymore. I think the thing is, is trying to figure out a really nice and kind way of distancing yourself so that it doesn't feel like you've just shut someone out instantly. And I don't have the solution for what that is. I don't know what is the nicest way or kindest way to unattach yourself from someone who you say leached on you the second that you showed them a friendship. And her imitating your entire life is a reflection of her struggling to fit in.

Ultimately, it's not your job to be that person if you don't want to be that person. And that doesn't make you innately bad. It just means that you want to prioritize other friendships. Because friendships at this time in our life, when you have three children, they take effort, they take work. And some of them are going to fall by the wayside. The biggest problem you have is that you work with this person. So you do have to still see them all the time.

So I think for you, it's probably easier to keep things. at a distance and keep a platonic rather than super intense, but you're not going to be able to totally distance yourself from someone who you work with. At the end of the day, you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with. Just don't be mean about it. Just extract yourself like you have been, which is like I'm really busy because you are. And maybe you catch up with her for a coffee once in a blue moon just to maintain the work

relationship, but you're entitled to make any decision with the people in your life that you want because time is very precious. The last thing you do, though, in this situation is have a conversation. about it. You don't need to tell her. No, you don't change your name. No, because normally the answer to these ask and cut questions is like, talk about it, have a compensation. No, fuck no.

Communication is key. This is one of those instances where if you were to sit her down and be like, hey, I think you're copying me too much. You would never in a million years. I don't think there's one listener here that thinks that they have to sit down and talk is through. Well, someone would. No.

Someone would be like, hey, I don't like that you keep on copying me, buying my couch, calling your name. Someone would do it. I just think play on to what you're doing. You obviously just want some validation that it's okay for you to pull back on the friendship. We're validating that. It is okay if it's not for you. Okay, last question. Hit me. I'm going to fuck my boss in two weeks. My backstory. My backstory. I've just come out of a three-year relationship where I was deprived of intimacy, affection and feeling wanted. I'm finally single and trying to do some serious healing. Don't fucking do it with your boss, okay? His backstory.

Single. He knows my best friend and she has said he's genuinely a really good guy. I met my boss over the phone working as admin. I was quite closed off to the thought of a man naturally when you're fresh out of a breakup. It started with a sex stream. Things escalated and I got a dick pick. And now he's discussing flying to see me in two weeks time. Am I about to make the best slash worst decision of my life?

I do worry he's going to catch feelings for me. Not the other way around. She's like, I'm fucking awesome. This guy's going to catch me. I do worry that he's going to catch feelings for me. As he has said, he always tends to get attracted to the emotionally unavailable women. I have already unpacked this with him and I do realize I am just purely enjoying the attention, the fun and the fact that someone is willing to fly to the other side of Australia just to fuck me.

I feel like it's too late to back out now. It's going to happen and I'm probably going to fuck my job in the process. I'm stuck between being responsible and Yolo, feeling very unhinged but ready for some fun after a long time of not feeling any of that. Okay, I have a lot of feelings about this, a lot of feelings. I don't think you want to advise because you're like, you're going to do it anyway. Firstly, though, him saying, I always get attached to, like, emotionally unattached women. I don't even buy that bullshit.

Like, that's just like palava to me. You guys were like, it's palava. What's that? It's just like, it's like. Did you make that word out? Do you mean pavlova? That's a pavilova. No, I just think it's like one of those things that guys say, like, I love you.

Like being like, I'm going to get attached to you because you're emotionally unattached. Fucking get a grip. He'll be fine. That's full play theme. Yeah, this is just like him trying to like build some fucking suspense to your relationship. I think it's dangerous. Very dangerous for many reasons. And that is because you may fuck your workplace, but it depends on how much you like your job.

Can you handle this situation? Also, why is it and how did you go from having a sex dream to like getting a dick pick? Well, she's obviously told him she had the sex dream because you don't just talk to your employee and then send a dig pick. Totally, right? So she said like, oh my God, I've had a dream about you. He's like, what dream? She's like sex dream and he's like, pow.

Which is also why I think like she's very much initiated this. She's very much, you know, a part of this. It's not, I don't think that there's this like gross dynamic of imbalance between the boss and the employee. It doesn't sound like it's. There's always an imbalance between a boss and an employee. always. But I don't know. I'm not listening to this story and the way that she's framed it and what is happening as being like, oh my God, you are in a volatile relationship where there is an

abuse of power right now. There is absolutely, but it does sound like she's quite in control of the situation. She's very, very aware of what's happening. Because she's like, I think this could fuck my job. That's not in control of your situation. I think you're letting the emotions get the better of you. Well, then fucking don't do it. I don't think, I think don't do it. And you know I'm always like a shoot-your-shop person. But don't you think it depends on how much you care about your job? If you don't give a flying fuck about your job, it depends. Some people have jobs that are their career jobs, which obviously I would have a very different mentality towards it. And I'd be like, absolutely do not fuck your career. If it's just a job and you don't care, maybe I feel a bit differently

about it. It purely comes down to your job because it's going to fuck your job for sure. Like, there's no way that it will be the same after this. Like, it's never going back to a normal relationship, whether you guys keep seeing each other and it's friends with benefits, that's going to fuck you in some way. And if you don't see each other and it goes south very quickly, guess who's in control in that situation? It's not you, it's your boss. How much do you care about your job? Secondly, for you to say, I feel like it's too late to pull out now, it's never too late to pull out. You can change your mind at any time. Just because you've talked about him flying to you does not mean you can then say, actually, I don't think this is a good idea.

Let's keep this professional. You can pump the brakes on this anytime you want. 100%. The other thing is, you're like, I'm ready for some fun after a long time of not feeling that. Get it, girl. Get it. Get it anywhere but your boss. Like there are so many places you can get those experiences. Don't shit where you eat. I've always said that. Sometimes I have eaten where I shit and shit where I mean. But don't, I don't, I do not think that this is going to be a good idea for you. I want you to go and get laid for sure. I want you to go and have fun. But you can do that on any night out on any app through setups with anyone. Like this was essentially a setup because your boss is also your friend's friend.

Do you know what I worry about more in this situation? I worry about the fact you say like it's too late to back out of it. So you're having some reservations. I worry about how you're going to feel when he arrives because if he flies across the country, I'm guessing he's in Sydney or in Perth, whatever. Very specific. It could be anyway. No, no.

But like if he flies literally across the country and arrives and he gets there and you meet him face to face and you don't want to have sex with him, if you're already feeling like it's too late to pull out, you're going to feel even like weirder about it. And that's a situation you don't want to create for yourself. The last thing you want to do is have some fucking guy in your space that you feel as though there's some commitment to because you've had this texting thing going on and he's also your boss. That is the situation where the power play is going to come into this dynamic. And that's where I think you have to be very, very careful. You don't sound like you're going into this in a way that you're super excited.

and you think it's a good idea. It sounds as though you think it's a bad idea, but you're like, oh, well, I'm going to do it anyway because I fucking love the drama. Maybe just think about how much you actually love the drama, because it's definitely never too late to, to remove yourself. If you are genuinely yolo and you don't care about your job and you are just like in a fucking train wreck vortex of life, go for gold. I also already don't like the conversations that are happening, like, oh, I'm just worried I'm going to fall for you. I know. I like emotionally unavailable people. He's trying to double down that, hey, you're not available. So let's like reiterate that. And then there's this weird power play of being like,

just so you know, this, I could be falling for you. He's probably full of shit and just wants to have sex. But in the back of your mind, even though you think you're not looking for something, there's a thought of like, oh, maybe, maybe I'm going to win him over. Maybe he's going to fall for me. Maybe this could be my person. Which is exactly why, when I said, this is just palava. The reason why he's doing it, this is why it's Pavlover. Because what he's doing and saying that is he's giving you the guise of control. He's trying to say, oh, you're the one that's unemotionally, you're emotionally unentached. I'm not. I'm really emotional. And this is going to be way harder for me. It's going to be so hard for me to like fly there and then fuck you.

And then I'm going to have feelings for you. And then like, you're just like, you're not going to care, but I'm going to care. He's trying to, he's trying to create a dynamic where you feel as though you have agency, but actually you're kind of losing it at the same time. This is a no from me. I like that. I like the no. Yeah, it's a no for me too. But I would have done it back in the day. No, well, we got an update. Oh dear. We've also got another aftermath.

Hold it. Yeah. Hold the aftermath. No, there's no time to hold it. It's one sentence. I fucked my boss. She did it. He came to her.

He came in her. He came. He came. He came. I hope you came to. So I'm glad we did unpack that for 15 minutes because she fucked it in anyway. Do you know what? Fucking good for you.

Good for you, girl. I would absolutely love an aftermath of this. I need to know. I need to know. what actually happened. Did you maintain your job? Did he fall in love with you? Was he full of Pavlova? How do you feel? Did you both come? I need to, I need the details. We don't need to if you came. I do. I actually do because it's fucking not worthwhile if you didn't. Put it that way. Okay. Tell us if you came. Yeah. Anyway, guys, that's it from us. If you enjoyed ask un-cutts

slide on into the DMs. Sorry, I just caught producer Sophie's face. She was like, oh God, I have to edit that. Producer Sophie sometimes looks at us like, what is my job? And that's okay. I think that that's going to continue for a while. Hey, keep those aftermaths coming in because I love them. Yeah, we're also due for a saucy-ass aftermath. So if you have had a question of yours answered by us and you have more to the story, it is the ending of our favourite book. We say this all the time. Like, I want to know what happened. We all want to know. The life is want to know. If we've ever answered one of your questions, please give us the update on what the hell happened because we do want to put together an aftermath episode coming up very, very soon. And if you haven't joined the

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