Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - It's Just a Joke

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Hey Lifers, Welcome back to therapy where we unpack your deep, dark and burning questions! Last night we went on a fancy shmancy boat and Laura accidentally got a little handsy with... not Matt. We speak about the latest trailer that netflix dropped of Ricky Gervais' upcoming comedy special that contains a 'joke' about terminally ill children. It raised a lot of questions like:-Comedy often relies on pushing boundaries, but where should the line be drawn when it comes to making jokes about vulnerable or marginalised groups? -Are we just okay with jokes if they don’t offend us? We discuss!Vibes for the week:Laura: Sam Fischer's new Album I love you, please don't hate meBritt: Podcast the garden of edenKeeshia: Ice Baths Tub from the dope here & Gary Brecka's research Then we jump into your questions: I am living with my boyfriend’s family at the moment until our house is ready to move in. I was looking after my nephew and niece, when I grabbed my mother-in laws phone to bring up YouTube (which we normally do). On the phone I read a message from her boss about the things he wants to do to her sexually and other things I want to erase from my brain. My sister in law was with me at the time and also read the same message. She is still married… so we both know, we haven’t confronted her about anything. I haven’t told my boyfriend and I don’t feel like it’s my place to. What should I do? Ignore that I ever read the message?? Every time I look at her I think how could you. -My partner & I had been dating for 7 months. We have plans to move in together and travel Europe in Feb Mar 2024. Two weeks ago he dropped on me that he'd be travelling Sri Lanka with his sister from Boxing Day until 14th of Jan. I cried when he told me he was going and I blew up when he booked the following day. This leaves me, a pharmacist working on call at a metro hospital alone over the Christmas - New Year period. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and can't see that I'm left feeling abandoned. I'm a single child. Do I just not get it? Or should my partner be spending time with me over this time? Since I can't visit my friends or family who live interstate due to work.  I have a friend who’s been having an affair for a few years now. The guy is a lot older than her and one of the reasons they aren’t together is she wants kids. She is now engaged to her partner that she’s been cheating on for years and I’m invited to the wedding next year. I don’t know how to respond or how to have the conversation to see if this marriage is something she actually wants? She has said she is in love with this other man but still loves her fiancé. Do I say something to her or do I just turn up at the wedding and have a good time? I feel mixed. If you have a question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm hungover. I was going to say, what is with them?

You're on Struggle Street, Laura. I had a midweek drink. No, we went out last night. We had a thingy on last night. Like a dinner. We were on a boat in the overseas passenger terminal. Richard Branson brought his big ass cruise ship in, parked it in Sydney for the night, and we got to go and, I mean, it wasn't we.

Literally three quarters of Sydney was on this thing. Every single person. It was open to the public. Anyone who had a pulse was on this thing last night. It was amazing and I drank a lot for a weeknight. It's very rare that I get a night out and when I do, I like to celebrate. It's just a shame that this one was on a Wednesday night.

You love a margie. You do love a margie and I detest a margie. So I will never, ever, to the day I die, drink a margarita with you. No offence. That's all right. We can have other things. There's other things for us to celebrate.

Why didn't you tell everyone what you did last night? You cheated on Matt. No. You tried to cheat on Matt. That needs some context. Okay, so we're standing there. There's like this big group of people. Just so you can really understand what happened.

We're standing in this big group of people. Matt was wearing a grey suit. He looked sharp. He looked handsome. He did. He did. And it was like this silky material. Not silky, but like had a bit of a sheen to it, right?

What, the suit? Yeah, so when you touched it, it felt like a little bit satiny, one might say. Really? It had like a tiny bit of a shine. It just looked cotton. Nah, it felt smooth. I mean, I didn't rub him, so I don't know. I think I'm one of those people that are quite tactile.

like I quite, what's the right word for it? There's like a specific word. If you're someone who's sensory from touch. Tactile. It's tactile. No, I think that there's another word for it. You're just hypersensitive to feeling. Yeah. Like I really enjoy the touch of things. Right. So I was in chatting and I was in the middle of a conversation with someone and I reached out and there was Matt and I was like rubbing Matt's back and I was just rubbing Matt's back for a while. Anyway, then I could feel the Matt was looking at me and I was like, oh, like, and like, but looking at me in a way that didn't feel from my periphery, like it was normal. and I turned around and it wasn't Matt at all.

I was rubbing Tim Robards back. Like just coincidentally the wrong bachelor was standing next to me and I was just rubbing him. And, look, contrary to popular belief, we don't know each other very well. I've only met him twice and I was just rubbing in circles. How long was the rubbing going on for? Like more than a minute, like more than a full minute of me rubbing my hand in a circle on his back, just round and round.

Didn't you rub him for a minute? Well, I think he was just confused. I think he might have thought that I was like getting his attention to then say something to him, but I just didn't turn to him at all. I just kept rubbing. I mean, it's a pretty long time. Have you done a plank? It was an uncomfortably long time.

Hence why when he turned to look at me, because I was full in conversation with someone else, so he didn't want to interrupt me. I think he thought I was doing it on purpose. And then he kind of looked at me like, are you right? What did he say? he just looked at me really odd and i was like oh my god when i looked at him i was like i'm so sorry i thought you were matt and then at this point i dragged him through the crowd so that i could show him that him and matt were wearing the exact same suit which is awkward for them

but more awkward for me apparently you have to post that you have oh yeah i'm gonna put this on the socials guys right now actually that's allowed i'll do it tomorrow because we're talking there i took a photo of them back to back because i was like no one will believe how much they look the same no one will believe that they are carbon copy bachelors is this just you saying this so that anna tim's wife hears it and goes hmm someone told me that you were rubbing my husband's back and now you're trying to explain yourself nah anna's pregnant she'd be like take him i fucking don't want to service him anymore i don't reckon i don't reckon she wants you to have him she's like fuck off yeah she was on my say yes she's like got fight to her yeah but she's tired now

she's vulnerable poor woman is pregnant that's why you thought you'd get a while she's down anyway guys something that we wanted to share with you which you might have seen if you've been following along on the instagrams our life uncut hats are finally here baby it took us a while and they're actually so good we do need to trial them you know we need to wear them around i can confirm they keep the sun off the face they do all the things that a hat would do and also they come in three beautiful colors to fit your summer wardrobe we've got lilac we've got forest green we've got beige depends on what kind of girl you're feeling what guy are you feeling well what i can say is ben actually stole all of them he stole them when

he came here and he loves them can recommend but we're actually loving them your cute hot girl walks the qualities are amazing and just so you know like for pricing and stuff the hats are 42 dollars there is a shipping fee on them the shipping fee is 10 bucks but we can't change that shipping is expensive that only covers the bag of the shipping yeah that's what that covers it's 9.70 for a 500 gram australia post bag and so like it doesn't even cover the cost of you know the warehousing and people packing it, which I just wanted to make people aware of that because I know that shipping can always be a charge that people hate paying. And we are giving 5% from every hat to a charity of our choice. We always give something from our merch. So this year for

the hats, we have decided to give it to Mission Australia to help combat homelessness, which is also something we feel really passionate about. Yeah. Especially at this time of year as well, coming into Christmas. And the economical crisis, it's hard. But guys, the hats, they are beautiful. They're available online and we put a link in our bio if you want to get yourself one. And they also have a ponytail section like you know how they've got the cut out of the back oh yeah we thought about it all yeah you put your pony in there you can tighten it if you have a tiny little pea head like me tighten it if you have a bigger head like laura and keisha you can loosen it full of braids but also it's got like a little brass adjustable clasp at the back like the detailing on these are

amazing they're the logos are embroidered they're just made really really well so this is a summer accessory that you're going to very much enjoy all right well before we get into answering all your questions, there was something else that I wanted to talk about. And that was, have any of you seen the new promo video for Ricky Gervais' new special, which is coming out on Netflix, because there has been some uproar and everybody in this room right here has some feelings about it. Well, I feel like it's gone pretty viral, right? It's just this one short promo clip that's been doing the rounds because his Netflix special is coming out sometime over Christmas. And this clip that is going viral is a joke that he has made specifically about terminally ill children

and it's an ableist joke simultaneously so he's managed to hit two very sensitive topics in one joke i'm going to play it for you just so you guys can hear it i've been doing a lot of video messages recently for terminally ill children and um only if they request it obviously i don't i don't burst into hospitals and go wake up baldy no um i did a lot through the pandemic presumably because they couldn't even see their own family and uh it's through make a wish foundation do you know the charity make a wish foundation they're great and they give these dying kids they're like one wish and if it's me i always say yes and i always start the video the same way i go why didn't you wish to get better

what you fucking retard did as well so backlash that ricky gervais has received from this includes some public profiles as well people like ashley kane he's a british soccer player and he had a daughter she was eight months old when she died from leukemia back in 2021 so he's been quite outspoken about this on his social media and he said i was actually a fan of ricky gervais but after watching his stand-up with my family and hearing multiple jokes about terminally ill children and especially kids with cancer. I had to turn it off. Some things are not funny, especially to the parents that are left behind. You can get cancelled in this world for so much, yet making a mockery of dying children is okay.

I'm so mad at this. Kelly Finlayson, she's one of our favourite people. She's joined the girls on the podcast. She was also at the Adelaide Live show. Kelly has been diagnosed with terminal cancer herself and she shared some images and videos to instagram and one of them said what the actual fuck a message for ricky gervais in response to his netflix special calling make a wish cancer kids baldy and asking why don't they just wish to be cured i don't even know why i'm giving this man airtime but if you're unsure of what my last post was about this man and tagged ricky gervais is using terminally ill children as the subject of his jokes disgusting how this is even still on Instagram for people to see makes me feel sick. It's really interesting to me because

I think the thing that triggered me the most in that joke wasn't the make a wish joke. It was the really ableist term, which we obviously just heard. And I think that part of it hasn't even been mentioned in so much of the outrage. It's almost like the disability part isn't the part that have made people the most angry. Where we seem to draw the line in comedy is when it's at the expense of kids. But I think that we have a much greater allowance for when it's at the expense of so many other people. And I guess my feeling about this is Ricky Gervais is controversial and he punches down on so many different groups. He has made trans jokes. He has made religious jokes. He makes fat jokes. He makes ableist jokes. But the way in which Ricky Gervais often does his

jokes is that he retrofits them. He kind of re-engineers them. So what he does is he makes a joke, but then he goes on to explain that it's a joke. This is what he also has to say off the back of that. I don't do that either. Okay. These are all jokes. I don't even use that word in real life. The R word. You just used it, Rick. Yeah. In a joke. That's not real life, is it? I'm playing a role. You sounded pretty convincing. Yeah, because I'm good. You wouldn't level the accusation at other art forms. You wouldn't go up to Sir Anthony Hopkins and go, I saw you in Silence of the Lambs. What's a, you a cannibal, are you? No, I was playing a role. Seemed pretty convincing. Yeah, it's good. And I'm good. And that's why I do things.

Imagine if I came out and did things not very well. So you knew I was joking. That'd be fucking retarded i know we've discussed this between us and it's been we've had heated conversations we've had calm conversations we have educational conversations because we all do have different opinions and this is what the world is comes down to right like some people will be offended by something that others will laugh at it's just going to come down to human opinion individual individual opinion. For me, it is never okay. And it will never be okay to laugh and make fun of dying children. It doesn't matter that you tack on to the end of that, just so you guys know that this is a joke. We get it's a joke. You're a comedian. We get it. But I just think there

are some things in life that you don't touch. I think it's really interesting exploring where people's line sits, really. Because like there has been so many debates recently around comedy, around what is acceptable comedy. We saw recently, if you guys have been across it, Matt Rife, he's a big American comedian. He had his very first Netflix special. And recently it has been wildly and widely reported on around his domestic violence joke that he made at the start of it. And to be fair, I watched the whole of that Netflix special and I was like, this is just baseless. It is not funny. And it is the lowest form. It's like the lowest hanging fruit in terms of humor and in terms of the person to mock. I think his delivery was very bad and I don't want

to labor on Matt Rife because I feel like we've spoken so much about him, but I think comedians overall have a little bit more of a green card to play in the controversial. I think that they have a little bit more allowances to say things that make us feel uncomfortable because they play within the absurd. Do I think that it's okay? Do I think that the jokes are then therefore allowable? Do I think it is helpful to public discourse? No, I don't think that it's any of those things. But I also don't think it is a comedian's responsibility to provide a positive impact on the world. I don't think that that's the service they're providing. So I do think sometimes it's interesting how we say, oh, this joke wasn't funny and we try and cancel them.

And this was the big thing around Ricky Gervais. A lot of people like, you know, he's being cancelled off the back of his last Netflix special. And this has been the similar conversation of this one. The guy's not going to be cancelled. He's making millions and millions and millions and billions of dollars of these Netflix specials. No, he's not being cancelled. He's not going anywhere. He's not going anywhere. And I think it is very interesting to explore what makes us feel uncomfortable when it comes to stand-up comedy. Where is our own personal lines? What is our own personal bias? And why are we okay with some jokes that target some minorities rather than others. Why do we say, okay, terminally ill children is where the line stops,

but his other jokes prior are okay. I think that that is actually the most interesting question that you posed to me, Laura, because Ricky Gervais was, and I would even go to say is still my favorite comedian. I am a huge fan of Ricky Gervais. I find him so witty and very clever about how he dances the line of controversy. I was really disappointed when I heard this because I truly did actually think that Ricky was a little bit more self-aware than this. I thought that he was, you know, the topics of his jokes, yes, they are controversial topics, but I have not thought of him as a problematic person. He makes jokes about a lot of religious content. He's quite a staunch atheist. And it was actually me unpacking why I was okay with certain jokes,

but why I felt so disappointed about this particular one. And there are a couple of different reasons one of them is that i think children in general are the most vulnerable of groups they have no right of reply they're a child the whole like terminally ill thing to me i was just a bit like ricky why why did you need to go to these depths like your comedy about political issues is very interesting to me because i think it shows you a side of things that you either haven't thought about before a viewpoint of something that you haven't been exposed to but this is something that I'm like there is no point to these jokes there's nothing that we're gaining from this other than the fact that like you are involved with Make-A-Wish which

yeah that I think that's why I felt disappointed. I guess the only thing and I agree with you and I don't want anyone to interpret this as me saying that I think the jokes are funny or that I think the jokes are okay but I do think that his context that he provided afterwards is important and the reason why I say that is not because it's about I don't actually think it's about the joke I think he's making a statement about comedy and saying, you can say whatever you want, but you need to know the people on stage here are providing a service. We are creating comedy. And so if that makes you feel uncomfortable, if that makes you laugh, if that gives you a reaction, we all need to appreciate that comedians who are on stage are doing a job. Because when I first read those jokes

about calling, you know, and I don't want to repeat the word, but like calling a terminally child something that is incredibly ableist and I read it written down I was like that is fucked that is so sick and then when I watched it within the context of him trying to make a statement about humor I was like oh yeah the joke still doesn't land but it is an interesting unpack around how we all feel about comedy as a whole but it's like when somebody says I mean what you're saying is and what you're saying he's saying is it's like when someone says no offense and then as something really offensive. It doesn't make it okay

because they prefaced it with no offence. I don't think his jokes are okay because he ends them with, but it's a joke. I agree. I agree. And I don't think he's saying, but it's a joke. And I don't think he's saying, oh, you know, no offence, but which we had a very funny conversation

about that on Tuesday. I actually think he is making a political statement. I think he is making a statement about comedy as a whole. So he has almost purposely chosen the most controversial thing to make that statement from. See, I don't think I agree with his statement. I don't like the comparison between an actor and a comedian because a comedian actually formulates their own production. So they're the ones who are the creative behind it. Whereas an actor is following a script and it's make believe it's not real. Whereas comedy plays off of that line between things that are very real in our society. and that's why I've enjoyed his comedy so much up until this one thing that I to me it just doesn't seem to fit the mold of what I had created who Ricky was in my brain and I understand that that's

my own fault but I also put him on a pedestal well unpacking why I felt so differently about this made me realize that we all have such a line in the sand that we draw 100% we all have biases that contribute to that I've spoken a lot about on the podcast how I grew up in a very religious organization. And I am not a part of that organization. Now I find his comedy surrounding atheism hilarious. I am realizing that that's because my views align with his, like I align with the way that he sees the world. And that's why I find the stuff that he says so funny. There are so many people that would be like, that's not funny. That's highly offensive to me. And I completely disagree with what you're saying and therefore the jokes that you're making

about it and so I think I'm realizing that the line in the sand for me is sick kids it's sick kids totally I think it is for 99.9% of people in the world like this there is absolutely there is a line but I think I'm also realizing that I have to acknowledge why that's the case and I have to acknowledge the reason I don't feel fired up about you know the jokes he made about Caitlyn Jenner at the Golden Globes and that kind of thing is potentially because I don't have lived experience in that area. Like, so there are people who are going to draw the line in the sand in different places. And I guess I'm having a little bit more compassion potentially for the people where I've kind of disregarded the fact that that might be highly offensive to them. And I mean,

it's weird that I, this is where I draw the line because I'm not a parent. I don't have a terminally ill child in my life. It's because there's an unspoken rule and it should be the unspoken rule. Generally for most of the population, it is, you do not attack the most vulnerable of our society, which is a child. And it's not only a child, it is a dying child. On top of that, it is not just a dying child, but you've linked that to a disability as well. Like for me, there is nothing lower. And I let a lot of humor go. Like, I think a lot of things are funny that people won't. I laugh at a lot of stuff in life that I shouldn't laugh at. And I was like, well, my God, I hope no one would ever see me laugh at that because comedians do what comedians

do best and they walk the line and that is what makes people want to go and see them because they're like I can't believe they said that like it's funny but I know I shouldn't be laughing I'm all for that but this for me is just something that you you just don't touch and I think back a lot when we had Ursula Carlson on she's an amazing comedian that's living in New Zealand she's on a lot of our tv here in Australia we had a great episode with her if anyone wants to listen to it but she made a really good point of like you are in control exactly like you said Keisha like they're writing their own material. There is so much in the world you can laugh at. You do not have to shit all over and hit down to people like that, those extreme minorities and the vulnerable.

I do agree. Totally. And there's a couple of things I took from that chat that we do with Ursula Carlson, which go back and like Britt said, listen to the episode because she's absolutely brilliant. But Ricky Gervais, he is a white, very successful, privileged man who is in his like, what? He's 60 now, right? He states in his comedy that he's a straight white man who is a millionaire. No, no. He says multi, multi-millionaire. So we have this conversation that comes up all the time around comedy, which is the punch down. You can't punch down. You can only punch up. There's no one for him to punch up on. He's the top of the food chain. But like, what does comedy look like for a, and I'm not saying this because I feel sorry for them. I

could not give a flying fuck to be totally honest. I'm not like, think of the middle-aged white man. That's not where I'm getting to. So what I mean is, is where do these people, where do they make comedy? What do they make comedy about? Because they're only ever going to punch down people who are from minorities. So for example, I also think of Michael Hing, who is brilliant. We had him on our live show. I love him. He is funny and witty and his humor is highly intelligent, but he also talks about being Chinese. And he talks about what that experience is like for him living in a world that is in Australia that is very, very racist. He can punch up on so many different conversations because he comes from a minority. If you are gay within

comedy, there's so much material. I just think there's interesting rules that seem to surround how comedy can play out. And I think that at this point in time, the only thing that Ricky Gervais as a specific comedian plays with is controversy. It gets him so much PR. It is such a machine that feeds the machine his last netflix special supernatural garnered so much publicity off the back of his most controversial jokes and he's obviously seen that this is a technique and a tool to make sure that this new netflix series which is coming out soon gets just as much attention it's not a new thing he's discovered we know that outrage culture is what gets the most clicks and the most hits and the most shares and the most people speaking about it the most eyes the

most voices like this is not news can i just go back to what you were saying about the whole like punching up punching down punching across thing though Ricky doesn't have many choices in terms of punching up like he openly states he's a very privileged person but I think it's really interesting to see how he almost safeguards himself by self-identifying as privileged and I think he's done the exact same thing with this joke he's trying to safeguard himself from criticism because he's like guys I don't actually feel this way totally I actually do make a wish like when you identify as something someone can't use it as a weapon to use against you and I don't like the fact that he's using this to me it just seems like a a little bit of a weak

lack of accountability I can make jokes about sick kids I can make really ableist jokes and use words that shouldn't be used anymore you can't tell me that you actually don't feel this way and therefore it's okay to make jokes about it because you don't actually feel that way because there are people who do feel that way. And there are people who are going to hear it and go, oh, this is now a safe space for me to repeat those jokes. It's funny. He got a funny response from it. So I can say in my life and I can be funny too. And like you said, Lois, it's not his job to be the fucking moral highlight of everyone's life. It's not his job to make us all more virtuous and understand political things to a deeper level. But you can't just use a get out of jail free card.

I agree. And I also think that the reason why we are continuously unpacking stand-up comedy more is because for so long, it is the medium that has had that get out of jail free card. It is the medium where we have given so many allowances, but people's attitudes are changing so quickly and people are not finding the old tropes, the old stereotypes, the things in which people would have laughed at 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 15 years ago, whatever the amount of time is, people are not finding it funny anymore. And that's why we're having these conversations because he can stand up there and he can have all the excuses, which we've just unpacked. But at the end of the day, the outrage comes from people who listened to it, but didn't laugh

in the same way that happened with the Matt Rife special and just said, this is actually baseless and not funny. Even with the explanation, it's just not funny. Yeah. Like we often, if there's ever something that is like maybe a little bit on the nose, The kind of rule of thumb that we follow is, is the juice worth the squeeze here? Because the reality is, is that people get offended by a lot of things. And a lot of the time, things that you don't have the intent of offending can offend people. Sometimes that might be because they have a particular buy-in in that field and they are particularly sensitive to it.

And other times you can miss the mark. Is the comedic effect of this joke worth the percentage of people who are going to be highly offended by it? And I think in this particular case, he got the balance so fucking wrong. I also think it's interesting, and I don't know if I completely agree with you, but I know the point you're making, and I understand it. But when you say it's not his job, right? He is a comedian.

That's his job. He still has a ridiculous amount of influence. And I still do think there is a level of a responsibility when you have 4 million people alone on Instagram, when God knows how many millions of people are tuning into your Netflix special. and the job of a comedian is to make people laugh right like your whole point in life is to make someone feel better a bit of escapism I just don't see the point and I do think there is a bit more of a responsibility than going for a dying child and for ableism I just don't think you need to

and when you say there's not many people he can punch up on because he's at the top of the food chain there is a fucking million things you can make a joke about there are a million things yourself included anything about your life I think there are a lot of places you can go to with your comedy. I don't think you have to go to this low hanging fruit. I mean, this all comes back to you. There is a very, very famous and very good quote from Ricky Gervais. And it says, people always say that you can't joke about anything anymore. The truth is you can joke about whatever the fuck you want to. And people will tell you whether they agree with it or not. And you have to decide whether you care. It's a very good system, really. At the end of the day,

we and so many other people have watched this and thought there is so many layers of it that are not appropriate and are just not funny anymore in this climate and maybe never ever were funny but people have changed their expectations around comedy is changing and will that hold a light up to Ricky Gervais will he reconsider some of the jokes in the future maybe maybe not but he's still going to make millions of dollars off the back of it okay which one of you lot wants to kick off the vibes for this week I am doing oh look it's someone we love it is it's someone we adore but also it's someone who's created a very fucking good album at the moment. And I think you all need to go and stop what you're doing,

go and listen to it. Sam Fisher, if you came to our live shows, Sam Fisher, he was the artist who became a very good friend, but also traveled around with us. During that period, he had his promo launch night for his new album that was being released. It's called I Love You, Please Don't Hate Me. Britt, myself, Keisha, we all went to the album launch night. It was incredible. So much so that there's this one song on the album, which is called You Don't Call Me anymore and I was in tears because I thought it was so beautiful and I have listened to that song on repeat since the album's come out so last week was his album release day go and have a listen to the album it is so beautiful he is a phenomenal songwriter he has the voice of an angel and all

of us have been playing it non-stop so like just go and have a listen I am loving I love you please don't hate me that's one of the songs the main one yeah I listened to that on repeat my favorite from the album is the one that he did with Demi Lovato called what other people say he talked about it in the episode that he recorded with you guys about how he moved to LA and he just realized that he was changing and he didn't like the changes that he was seeing himself he sang that song a lot at the live show as well that was like that became one of the staples that and this city ah we love him he's so good go listen to it now Spotify Apple Music wherever you listen to your music it's called I love you please don't hate me okay mine guys you're going to be shocked

horror but mine is a true crime podcast everyone welcome to our recommendations for the week it is britney's true crime podcast series people just think i'm a psychopath you are but we love it i have been into crime since i was a kid which i think is weird and it probably says something about me but anyway i also would love you guys to recommend me true crime stuff if you've watched a really good true crime doco or show or podcast please because i'm i'm so deep in them that i'm almost running out of them and i want to hear new ones anyway can i ask a little favor can you send them to Brittany directly please because we get lots to the life. Yeah send them to Brits Direct Instagram. Yeah no I definitely want to hear them. Okay so this one is called The Garden of Eden and

it is an Australian series and it's about a 15 year old girl Eden Westbrook who was her and her family lived down in Tasmania and long story short the premise is unfortunately she had had this argument with her family small argument she had left without her phone and they had found her hanging in a tree the next day oh my god it's just awful but it was a really poor investigation and the surrounding story is that this was not a suicide that's the way it is led to believe it's been ruled a suicide but this investigation goes on to try and they talk to the family a lot there is a lawyer that gets involved to help the family and they're trying to unpack what went wrong and it actually starts to lean into police corruption you think of corruption as bribery and things like

but there's definitely this sense of like they protect their own in this unpacking of this I really loved it it might not be for everybody again they are the themes it is around a suicide because we don't know if it actually was suicide but that is what they talk about heavily if that's going to trigger you definitely don't watch it but I'm really into Australian crime at the moment because I listen to a lot of American stories but I'm really bringing it back home I don't want to watch Australian crime just makes me think it can happen here I like watching crime in other countries because I'm like god that place is messed up and then I just want to pretend like it doesn't happen in our back door. Anyway, it's called the Garden of Eden. In our backyard,

not in our back door. That's your bum hole. Crime's happened there for you, Laura. Your butthole's a crime. The Garden of Eden. That's it for this week for me. I have one of my more woo woo live laugh love recommendations, but it has become my entire personality hyper fixated as fuck on ice baths. I bought a tub. It's from the dope. It's like this plastic tub it can fit 320 liters in it to give you a bit of a size idea and I have been ice bathing Keisha went aboard silicone ice cubes so she's been just dousing herself in ice baths but you've been like you've been doing it you've been diligent with the ice baths you're on the health train but ice baths aren't pseudoscience they're science 100 so there is a guy called

Gary Brecker he's a biologist and I've really gotten into him lately um he talks a lot about two sides of things, uh, cold shock proteins, the whole vasoconstriction that happens in the cleanup of free radicals in the blood, which is more the science side of it. What I have been doing. So I'm the type of person that if I had to go and buy ice from the servo every day, probably not going to happen. Firstly, it's a bit expensive if you're doing it every day, but secondly, I'm also just not going to do that. So I've got the tub on my balcony at the moment. And I went to Kmart and I bought 10 banana loaf, silicon trays that you're supposed to bake in, but I've just been freezing water in them every day. And so I put the ice in the ice bath. It's

not quite cold enough. You're supposed to get it to 10 degrees. Mine's at about 12 at the moment. So I'm working on getting it colder, but it's been fucking great. And I've been feeling amazing. And I'm being really careful about my caffeine intake now because I can get a bit jittery and feel a bit scatty if I have too much. So when I've been getting tired in the afternoons, instead of having a coffee, I've been dunking myself in my tub. You guys might remember when Keisha was going through her hashtag sleep phase and everything was sleep wreckers. And now it is hashtag ice bath phase. And that's where we're in. We're deep in it. Team ice bath. Love them. I really love them. I'm loving them. So that is my recommendation, whether it be that you actually do an

ice bath or that you go and purchase one for yourself and have them at home. Question number one. I am living with my boyfriend's family at the moment until our house is ready to move into. I was looking after my nephew and niece when I grabbed my mother-in-law's phone to bring up YouTube, which is just something we normally do. On the phone, I read a message from her boss about the things that he wants to do to her sexually and other things that I need to erase from my brain. My sister-in-law was with me at the time and also read the same messages. She's still married and now we both have this information. We haven't confronted her about anything I haven't told my boyfriend either and I don't feel like it's my place to but what do I do

do I ignore that I ever read these messages do I take this to the grave every time I look at her I think how could you um I what a little pickle dickle okay the big question is do you tell your partner because it's his mom like more than anything you're not going to confront your her husband's mum about it. I don't think. I probably would more than the boyfriend. Really? I think so. Actually, fuck. I don't know. Okay. I'm just, I'm trying to put myself in this position. Okay. Matt's mum is single, so I'm never going to be faced with this issue. But if she wasn't single and she was still married to Matt's dad and they were playing happy households. And then I found messages from her boss saying all the things that he wanted to do to her. I think

I would pretend like I hadn't seen it. I don't think I have the emotional bandwidth or capacity to insert myself into that drama? I don't think I could. I think I would take it to the grave. The problem is though, if it comes out, well, the problem is had you just seen it yourself, you could take it to the grave, but the sister has seen it as well, which means that if you don't say anything, like you guys have to get your stories straight, right? Cause if you've seen it, she's seen it. She decides to tell someone in six months time, two months time or whatever, your husband's going to be mad that you didn't tell him. So now it's this situation where you're keeping information when you like you're keeping information from the people that you love

the most which is your husband well I also think there's another layer to it that is just your ability to be around her if you can't look at her now how are you and you live with her what are you gonna do it like because you immediately dislike someone right if you know that they're betraying their entire family there is a level you could like her as a person and how she treats you but that level of resentment and disgust is probably going to be like looming under the surface so then if you're living with her how do you go about if you don't think you can fake that friendship relationship with her and you can't sit down at dinner with the entire family and like laugh at her jokes and have that normal relationship it's going to be an issue because

then your boyfriend's going to be like what the fuck's up with my mom like why what do you get against my mom you know but this is the thing with cheating right i know we've spoken about it in different ways before but cheating is so black and white that we instantly think someone who could cheat is not the person that we thought they were as a person. So like you find this information out and then in your mind, you're like, I can't even be around her. Like, I feel like I can't stand her now because in total that betrayal overshadows everything else about her and who you thought she was as a person. I don't know, like honestly, deeply unpacking this, I think I would probably tell my partner that I saw something that seemed inappropriate. I don't think I would go into

detail around what I saw. I think I would just say, look, I might have read it wrong, which you know you didn't but just to soften the blow I might have read it wrong this is something I saw the whole family though too well actually the thing is is we don't know if this is his dad we don't we know she's still married I think if it was his dad it would have been more explicit so this could be her second marriage which doesn't necessarily make it any better the betrayal's still there but it's not like you're going to your husband's dad necessarily about it I get that this is probably going to be on the lesser end of the spectrum or the likelihood of this happening but the reason I'm saying this is because we actually had this conversation today with

somebody else in real life. There could be a chance, like you never know what is actually going on in somebody's relationship. There could be a chance that this is the real mom and dad. They might have been separated for a long time behind closed doors, staying together for kids. They might be working things out. They might have an agreement. And I say that because literally today we were just talking to somebody else who brought up the fact that her mom and dad stayed together for a long time, even though they knew that her dad was actually gay. He wasn't ready to come out yet and face that. They were staying together for the kids. There were all these other reasons and the kids didn't know that. So imagine if that was a similar situation and you saw that

message, you immediately hate everyone in that. You feel like you have to keep a secret, but you actually don't know what is going on in their relationship. And I get that that is again, like that is probably less likely than the fact that she's just cheating, but you just never know what's going on behind closed doors. 100%. Or you don't know if that's like exactly like you said, Britt, like that maybe they have an open relationship or they're fine with it or maybe their husband knows and he just, they're not having,

they've got a sexless marriage. There's many, many variables. But I think it is important to keep in your head that, you know, just because you've seen this message and just because maybe she is having an affair doesn't mean that she's instantly this fucking horrible person that you can't even stand to be in the same room with because you're filling a lot of blanks without all the information. and I mean if you don't and you think it's going to blow up the family too much by going to your

husband having the conversation with your husband if you have the confidence to go and have a conversation with her and say I'm really sorry I saw this it's made me really uncomfortable I know it's your personal business but I want you to know that I've seen it so I want I'd be doing she doesn't have to respond to you in any positive way she doesn't have to tell you anything but she might kick you out she might kick you out but it also might mean that things come to the surface naturally, or she might give you the explanation around that it is or isn't okay. I don't know, but like maybe that will put your mind more at ease, but that will be a really challenging conversation to have. And I think personally, and I often come back to this myself, whenever

there's these really tricky situations, sometimes I just think I can't do it. I don't think I could do with the drama. I think honestly, now at this point in my life, if I came across something like this I think I would just ignore it and wait for them to all figure it out themselves well if I like reverse engineer this if this was Ben that had seen this with my parents my parents been married for 45 years right they're so in love they're amazing but if Ben had seen that on one of my parents controversially I would not want to know don't tell me let me live in my bubble of happy family that's what I genuinely think I don't know because I've just tried to put myself in both of those situations and the better option for me is not knowing because okay i put it this

way if ben then came and told you you then have to do something with that information he is like trauma dumping that feeling that he has a situation he has no control over a situation that he can't change the outcome from and he's dumping that trauma on you and then that means that you have to then go and confront your mom or tell your dad like the trauma of ripping apart quote-unquote with the family then lies on you to be the vigilante. So I think genuinely if this was me, and I know we came full circle because originally I was like maybe go and speak to your partner about it, I genuinely think full circle would be speak to the mum

or just die with the information because it's probably going to come out at some point in the future anyway and if it doesn't, like at least it didn't come from you. Oh, that's so awful. It is, it is, because then I know we're wrapping this question but I just keep putting myself back in it. I want to be so open with my partner that I wouldn't want to keep that secret. I would want to know that I have this reciprocal relationship where you can

be so honest with each other. So this, you almost have on one hand, there's a responsibility that you feel like you need to do the right thing by your partner. But on the second hand, it's also just giving you responsibility to someone else. So it's a double-edged sword. Fucking move out. Just move out. Just move out. Just go and live somewhere else. Move to a hotel. Fain is some sort of like, I don't know, whatever it is, but it's going to be hard for you to be in the same room as her. If you actually feel like you don't respect her anymore. Also, this is going to come out itself if she's got these messages popping up on our ipad and youtube and when the like this this is not going to stay a secret for very long totally she's obviously technologically challenged

but also it kind of makes me think like maybe she's not trying to keep it that much of a secret like if you've just picked up a phone open youtube and the messages are all there she's not trying hard at all no it popped down it popped on when they had the it was inconvenient timing right right anyway but if you're cheating you're not letting people just play and watch youtube on your phone and you don't have it under your boss's name either i am not jealous of you with this i think you just need to move out same move out i agree all right question number two my partner and i had been dating for seven months we took one month away and came back together stronger than ever we spend five to six days a week together we've introduced entire families

together and friends basically they've like merged their friendship groups and their families you know have plans to move in together and travel europe in february march of 2024 two weeks ago he dropped on me that he'd be traveling sri lanka with his sister from boxing day until the 14th of January. I cried when he told me he was going and I blew up when he booked the following day. This leaves me, a pharmacist working on call at a Metro hospital alone over Christmas, New Year and the New Year period. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and can't see that I'm left feeling abandoned. His sister is in her mid twenties and has never been in a relationship. My partner is in his early thirties. I'm a single child. Do I just not get it? Or should my partner

to be spending time with me over this period since I can't visit my friends or family who live interstate due to work. He is also traveling Malaysia, a place we both wanted to visit solo for four days. I feel like this has left a bitter taste, especially around Xmas time and New Year. Can you end a relationship over a holiday or should I just work through this? We haven't discussed this yet, Laura. This is the first time I'm hearing it, but I feel like we're going to have different opinions. I just feel like I know you, so I feel like we're going to go down different paths. No, I think you think I'm going to say something that I'm not going to say.

Okay. Well, I genuinely think, and you might not want to hear this to the listener, but you currently don't have the ability. I don't think you ever really do. Maybe when you're married with kids, but at seven months, you don't have the ability to tell your partner what he can and can't do. And if he wants to go on a trip with his sister at Christmas, you 100% can feel disappointed and upset by that. And you can miss him, but you cannot blow up at him and tell him he cannot go like that is going to push him further and further away especially when you're going away with him for two months in a couple of months you're going to go and spend that time together anyway it's going to leave I know you've said it's left a bad taste in your mouth it's

going to leave a worse taste in his mouth that's what I feel like he's made a choice he's obviously close with his sister he knows he's going away with you in a couple of months you've only been together seven months you don't have kids you are already working so you're already on call anyway so there's going to be big chunks of time that he's just going to be at home obviously he's not going to be there at night time but you're on call for that as well i think in this case unfortunately you've gone about it the wrong way and you've bitten off way more than you can chew that's the wrong analogy yeah i was like she has too much work on her hands she's over the hustle culture yeah it's the wrong analogy i know but i'm yeah look i mean often britain i have disagreements

when it comes to travel and when it comes to when you're in a committed relationship you make big life decisions together. I do believe that you make big life decisions together. I do believe that there are times of the year that are more important than other times of the year. The problem that I have with this is one, seven months is not all, you know, haven't been in this relationship for a really long time. And I guess I think that there's probably more to the story in terms of, does he have only specific times that he's able to travel because of his work? I know you guys have taken these two months later on off in the year, but does he have like forced leave at this time over Christmas, which he's not on holidays. So therefore he is able to go and do

something. And he doesn't want to just sit around while you're on call as a pharmacist, which like you said, Brit means that you will very much and very likely be called into the hospital at any time. So I understand why he wants to fill his holiday time with doing something fun with someone who he loves his sister. Now, I think the thing is, is like, he probably could have approached it in a more tactful way. He probably could have had more of a conversation with you about it. So you didn't feel so blindsided by it. I think that that's probably the thing. You felt blindsided because it came out of nowhere when he said he wanted to do it. And then you expressed you weren't happy and he went ahead and booked it anyway, which absolutely sent you. But I guess

ultimately it does come back to this idea that like, if you're in a relationship with someone and they want to do something and you say no, then they have to weigh up the pros and cons as to whether their want is justifiable or reasonable as well. Because it sounds like you guys weren't ever going to come to a mutual decision on this. It sounds like it was your way or his way and they were the only two ways. And I don't think that that's a fair thing either. I do understand though why you feel upset. I would feel upset too if my partner was going away at Christmas time and I wasn't able to join him. Would I break up with him? Would I feel so betrayed that I wouldn't want to be with him anymore? No, I don't think I would feel that level of extreme, especially when

you say like the rest of your relationship's been incredible and you know your families love each other you guys are moving in together I do just think that this is a decision he's made which might feel a little bit selfish but he's you know you guys are young and he wants to experience the world and still do stuff but it looks like and sounds like he wants to do it with you as well well the other thing is too if you really break this down you have said it's really selfish you know and really upsetting to you that he has gone away and left you on your own because you can't go to see your friends and family because you're working but what you're saying is I also won't be at home with you I will be working but you don't want to wait there for me for those moments that

I might not be on call and I might come home so you're also asking him to give up his family who's his sister who's traveling with so that he can wait at home for you which totally you can't do that and the other thing is you've said you know his sister I can't quite work out why this piece of information is critical his sister is mid-20s and never been in a relationship I don't get that part but maybe oh I do what she's trying to say is that is that she yeah that she doesn't understand why she's so upset that there's like a mismatch in terms of like you know that when you're in a relationship you consider each other at most big decisions that are being made that those decisions are made together not with the sister yeah so maybe the brother is actually taking that into

consideration my sister doesn't have anyone to travel with and I'm close with my sister like I have gone on so many trips with my brother my sister has gone on so many trips with my brother as a family, we do little independent trips together too. I'm talking overseas trips. I feel like this is made worse simply because you don't unfortunately have family around you. If your family weren't interstate and you knew you could go to work and come home and that'd be there, I think it'd be different. Unfortunately, you do feel really alone, which I think you just need to explain to him. You can't get angry, I don't think, and you can't let him not go. And I don't think it's worth breaking up, but just make sure he understands that you really are

upset and disappointed and maybe just say, hey, can you call me every day? You still have that connection. But this is unfortunately completely his prerogative. I understand. And I agree with you, Britt. I don't want to completely dismiss this though, because if this happened to me, I'd be so sad. I would be so sad. I would feel probably slightly annoyed that his want to go and enjoy himself was more important than us. And in terms of like me being alone over that time, like there's a little bit of selfishness there where it's like, well, you have two decisions here. One, you can spend the time that you can with me and we can have Christmas together or two, you go and have a great time on holidays. I know which one is going to be better, but that's

still a bad pill. Like it's an awful pill to swallow when you're not, don't feel like the priority in your relationship. But I guess the big thing is that you are expecting him to sit around while you're on call. You're expecting him to kind of like make his life available to your work schedule. And I do also think like, it's kind of nice. I mean, I don't know, maybe there's some fear about him traveling with his sister who's younger. Maybe there's, you know, cause she, it's a girl, she's in her young twenties. Maybe there's some like insecurities around that, but it also is kind of cool that he is traveling from like a protection position as well. Like that they're able to do stuff together. They can travel together. Maybe she doesn't,

like you said, Brett have people to travel with. I don't know. I just think it's three weeks of your entire potential relationship. And I don't think you have to throw it completely out the window. If he isn't considerate when he's traveling, if he's not calling you, if he's not checking in, if he's behaving in a way that makes him appear like he's single, they're all way bigger issues. They're all completely different things to unpack. But what do you think of the one though? There's one part of this question where she says, we've been talking about going to Malaysia and he's going to go now by himself for four days. Again, I don't think that's a big deal at all. Four days is you're not even touching the surface. It's obviously just, he's not doing it so that he

never has to go back with you. He's doing it because it obviously makes sense with his trip, what he's doing. He's got four extra days. He's making the most of it. You guys can still go to Malaysia. I'm sure there's, you've been together seven months. I'm sure there's still every country in the entire world that you haven't gone to together. I can't imagine you've done that much traveling together in the last seven months. But the other thing that I've just realized is you've said that he's going away on Boxing Day. So he is with you for Christmas. He's with you for Christmas and then he's going away the next day and then he's going away for New Year's. Your final question is, can you end a relationship over this holiday or should you work through it? If you want to end

your relationship over this, I think there's more issues at hand because for me, if everything else is amazing, this is not a reason to break up after seven months. I wouldn't be ending my relationship over this one fight. And I think it can feel, sometimes you can be in a fight and you can be in the thick of it. And when you don't get your way, it feels like, well, I'm going to leave. You know, that seems like the ultimate ultimatum, right? Because you didn't get what you wanted out of the argument. Sometimes we just don't get what we want in disagreements, especially when it comes down to taking agency and choice away from the other person. Like, you know, they have the ability to make a decision. And if that's not what we want, we either have to accept it and move on

from it, or we have to decide that we don't want to be in the relationship. In this instance, I think that that's drastic. The only thing I want to add to this though, is that if this becomes a pattern, if he constantly books trips away and doesn't consider you, if he often leaves you alone with you feeling abandoned, without you feeling like you were considered, without you feeling like you had mutual plans together when you're in a long-term relationship, I would say that the second time this happens, it's a bit more of a red flag. What I mean by that is that if it's coming into something special, if you guys have talked about doing stuff together and he's like, oh, I'm going away for three weeks in two days. It's not that he's not allowed to do that in the

future. Of course he is. But if it becomes a pattern and you feel disrespected and you feel like you can't plan things because all of a sudden he could be here or not be here, then that I would say is a big red flag and then i would be like cool you're not caring about my feelings yeah absolutely every time you leave i feel abandoned and you're not caring about that all right question number three and this is also an affair one because you know what a theory well a fair a nefarious it's a i was just about to say that a nefarious affair oh my god we're the same person it's been too much get out of my brain all right i have a friend who's been having an affair for a few years now the guy is a lot older than her and one of the reasons they aren't together is because

she wants to have kids. She is now engaged to her partner that she has been cheating on for years and I am invited to the wedding next year. I don't know how to respond or how to have the conversation to see if this marriage is actually even something that she really wants. She has said she is in love with the other man but also still loves her fiance at the same time. Do I say something to her or do I just turn up at the wedding and have a good time? I feel very mixed as you bloody should. I could not still be friends with somebody that had been cheating on their partner that they are marrying for years. This isn't a one-off. You have created a whole nother life with someone. I know. Yes, she is. Yes. Yes. But that is not, we're not judging her for her

friendship. I am. So if you, we're not judging her for her friendship. But the other part of this is if I can only imagine speculating, if you are that good of friends with her to go to the wedding and you know this much about them then I'm assuming you're also that good of friends with her fiance who she's cheating on that puts you in a bloody tricky situation because a precarious predicament totally do I think I could go to that wedding knowing that she had been cheating on him for their entire relationship and that she loves someone else she's declaring her love to him and she loves someone else and wishes to someone no I couldn't go I could not go because I'd be the person's like any objections I'd be like yes I would feel such a level of betrayal and I feel

Like when you're celebrating love in a wedding. Oh, you'd be like, this is such a mockery. Like this is such a joke wedding. Yeah, like why are you married? Why? You know, you love somebody else. Your heart is not in this. I just couldn't do it to myself.

And also when she's standing up there and she's saying her vows, you'll be like, you know, quietly vomiting in your own mouth. Hey, push it. Okay, my big thing here is, is though, I think if this is your friend, it's someone who you love and like I know we said it earlier about the whole like people having an affair doesn't make you black and white a bad person in total. it's a really terrible awful thing to do to someone it's an incredibly selfish thing to do

to someone and I think we often can if we're the people who are doing it you can justify the reasons you can justify the betrayal and it's selfish 100 my thing and my suggestion would be go and speak to your friend because it sounds like you haven't had a good conversation with her at all since she's gotten engaged you know that she's been having this affair but maybe it hasn't been communicated for a while maybe you haven't had conversations about where it's at what has been happening. It doesn't sound like the question is whether or not you should tell the fiance. It's not whether you want to insert yourself. It's simply whether your friend wants to actually marry this guy or you should go to the wedding. So I think... Do I say something to her?

Yeah. So I think the thing is you sit down with her and have an honest conversation and say like, it is really hard as someone who loves you to support you at the moment because of the choices that you're making. And it is also going to be and is damaging on our relationship. And my ability to support you as a friend, to one, be at your wedding, to pretend like I'm happy for you when I know that this is not you living your most authentic self, like you are lying to yourself about what you want in life. And so I think like you have to have some very, very honest conversations with your friend because there are obviously way bigger things here at play. And like you said, Britt, when you say I couldn't be friends with someone who would do this,

maybe if she sits down and has a really, really genuine conversation with her, she might come to the realization that she can't be friends with someone who is living like this because it's such a burden to keep these secrets. And also not only is it a burden on you, but you don't want your friend to live a life that's a lie. It's such an unhappy life that she's creating for herself. And I know she says like, I'm in love with two people. And I think it's possible. I think it's very possible to be in love with multiple people at one time you don't have to act on it yeah and also it's a different thing to be in love with two people and they both have all the information that's a very different situation where they're both consenting to the relationship that they're

in this poor guy the fiance he has no understanding of the type of relationship that he is actually in of what he is actually prescribing to and he's going to get married and invest all this time all this money, his best years of his life into someone who is not committed to him properly. And it's just, it's, it's a fucking horrible place to be in. And I'm not saying it's your responsibility to go and say anything to the fiance. You don't have to insert yourself in other people's dramas, but I do think you have to have a conversation with your girlfriend. Well, that's the only thing, right? And I know people hate when we say this, that cheating is not black and white, but it's one thing in my eyes to cheat on a partner,

right? And we, there could be a multitude of reasons. We know that you can work it out. We know that could end it. We know that, but it's one thing to cheat. It's another thing to be cheating and knowingly simultaneously getting married. Like you don't have to be taking that step because that is unfair. Cheating is unfair to your partner anyway, but marriage is a completely different kettle of fish. You are entering an agreement, promising to be the best partner for someone and love them unconditionally and always be there for them and always do right for them. And it's, you're starting the relationship as a lie. I agree with you. And I think it adds an entirely different element, like another element of deceit onto this, because when we think about

affairs and I'm not saying this is better, like it's also equally as fucked, but when you've been in a long-term relationship, often a long-term marriage and affair happens, it's because the relationship itself has moved so far away from where it once was. Like, and I'm not saying that that's an excuse for it. But I'm saying that often it's, you know, five years, six years, whatever it is, but people who are having affairs while simultaneously trying to progress the relationship, it's another layer of deceit because you're deceiving everyone. You're deceiving on the affair level, but you're also deceiving on the commitment, on the promise of what you want together for your future level. I don't know. I think like it's, it's very, very, very messed up.

I definitely wouldn't be going to the wedding because I think by going to the wedding and by being there, by being a guest and just having a good time, you're also complicit to it. You're saying, I know, I know. And I don't care enough to care about anyone else's feelings. Yeah. Even if you just have to say you had gastro that day, tell her, say, I can't come, you know, and let's not make a big deal, but like I can be sick on the day, whatever, but I can't go and support the both of you. Save the poor guy some money and just like, don't, don't do that. So he hasn't had to pay for another person per head. That is messed up. absolutely messed up. If you have a question for Ask Uncut, please slide into the DMs. It is

Life Uncut Podcast. You can also join us in the discussion group, which is Life Uncut Discussion Group. And that's where all the juicy saucy stuff goes to you. And guys, if you haven't listened to yesterday's episode yet, for whatever reason, it's an episode that I really enjoyed bringing you. And when I say enjoyed, it's probably the wrong word, but I was really proud to bring a topic like this to light. And the reason I say that is it's one of the hardest episodes, I think, we've ever done at Life Uncut, and it's with a wonderful woman named Nina Olk. Nina speaks so openly about her story, which is extremely traumatic. And we do want to put that out there. We don't want to sugarcoat it. This is a truly horrific story. Nina is talking about honor

killings and how she, in fact, is a survivor of an attempted honor killing. She speaks quite heavily about her being born into a cultural environment where she was disadvantaged from the very start purely because she was born a female. She speaks a lot about domestic violence and what that life looks for her. She speaks about an arranged marriage, which also ended in domestic violence. It is truly heartbreaking and truly horrific and extremely hard to hear in a lot of parts. But I think that that's a part of the reason it's so important to talk about is because this is still so prolific. The fact that this is still happening, this is still happening in Australia. This is still happening in the UK. This isn't just something that is so

far removed from us and this is why I think it's a really important topic to talk about because she's doing amazing things with her charities and the fact that she relives this story over and over again herself in order to help other people is what was truly touching. Yeah and I think at a time where there's been a lot of conversations around domestic violence recently there has been an increase in the number of deaths of women within Australia specifically in the last 12 months from the year-on-year average and to think that the conversation around domestic violence is getting so much more airtime, but yet it is having zero impact on the number of women who are affected is harrowing and horrifying. And I truly do think that the only way for us to all

combat this together is to continue to highlight people's stories. I wasn't on the episode. Britt had to do this one on her own. It is a heartbreaking story to listen to, but it is such a message of resilience and a message, a powerful message of overcoming. That is it from us. And we'll be back again on Sunday with our pickup episode. And yeah, you know the drill. Tell your mom, tell your dad, Tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love. We'll be right back.