Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Massive c*cks and we're not talking bout chickens
Episode Date: November 2, 2022Welcome to therapy Thursday team. First up we are talking about something deeply important and crucial, the my massive cock documentary. Britt has really done her research for this one and wants to u...npack the packages and the hardships that the people shown on the documentary go through.Today we are jumping into these deep and dark questions:One of my husbands female friends has come to him to ask if he would be the business manager for her only fans, she has wanted to do only fans for ages but is terrible with anything business related. He obviously mentioned this to me and we had a chat about it, how it would work etc? He has left the final decision up to me as he doesn’t want to do anything I’m uncomfortable with. My initial reaction was no so maybe I should just go with my gut?My partner has given me the ick. In his workplace, the workers beneath him seem to be leaving within months. He speaks to them horribly and I think he over reacts to situations. I find him overtly rude to others. Is this an orange or red flag?My partner idolises his father, but I see a different side. He has split from his wife and has become a sleaze bag and bitter towards women. He's even tried to hit on me when he's drunk (which is a lot). Am I wrong to second guess my relationship with my partner purely based on my father in law. If you could be EVER so kind and fling us your vote for the Australian Podcast Awards, word on the rumour street is that Britt will give you a puppy. *unconfirmed by Brittany Hockley herself.*CAST YOUR PODCAST LISTENER VOTESYou can vote here: https://australianpodcastawards.com/voteTell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia
and their connections to land, sea and community.
We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal
and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.
This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation.
Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany and I'm Laura and guess
what? What? It's that time of year again. I thought you were going to say it's that time of week again
and I'm like yeah every Tuesday comes around quickly. Well this is a Thursday episode so
That's awkward for you.
Sorry, I actually have no idea what to hear.
I like to hear the way you, I'm like trying to burn you
and I burn myself.
I love that you just tried to like give me shit
and you threw yourself under the bus at the same time.
What time of year is it, Laura Byrne?
It's the podcast awards.
Oh, it is.
It is time for the podcast awards.
That really crept up on us, actually.
Do you know what it means?
It's time for us to ask you all to stop what you're doing right now.
Stop listening.
Press pause.
Go to our show notes.
hit the link and go and vote for us for the people's choice so this is like the oscar of
podcasting it is the the big really really big event for us it's the gold logi of the podcast
the logi it's the oscar it's the academy award it's whatever you want to call it it's the thing
that matters to us the most in the entire podcasting world i'm not saying the entire world
my kids my kids are more important to me to be honest you know having a good night's sleep is
sometimes more important but it's very very important to us so what it is is you know there's
a bunch of awards but what we're asking you guys to do is the same thing we asked you to do last
year it's to go and vote so like laura just said it's in our show notes you can go and vote and
you just it takes two seconds you just type in the podcast you want to vote for which i'm just
going to tell you it's life uncut spoiler life uncut and then the only way to make sure that
vote goes through is then to go into your email and press confirm but that that sounds difficult
it's not type in life uncut and then press confirm in your email if you have two emails if you have a
uni email sure go feel free go go crazy if you want to start a burner account just so that you
can put in multiple votes we're okay with that it's fine it really would mean a lot to us if
you guys can take two seconds because it just means that we can keep doing what we're doing
and it's something that's really important to us and it's something that just look it's the only
thing i have guys i don't have much i don't have much going for me right now so i really need this
vote okay so i mean please go vote for us in the people's choice of podcast awards we would very
much appreciate it and you're gonna hear that for the next couple of weeks yeah do you know what we
never ever ever even make short lists for our own category like they never put us in the relationships
and dating podcast which is crazy to me we beg for votes anyway moving along there is something
that we wanted to talk about on tuesday's episode but somehow we took a really vague and random route
down talking about funerals and did you say root down i don't think we talked about rooting did we
No, but we are today.
Are we talking about rooting?
Well, we're talking.
No, actually, we're talking about not rooting because penises are too large.
So we wanted to talk about on Tuesday's episode, a documentary that's come out about big penises.
And it's kind of weird that that's the one thing that we're going to die on.
And we decided it was so important.
We thought we'd drag it out and talk about it on Thursday.
Well, I just was blown away.
There really is a documentary.
It's not in Australia.
It's in the UK.
It's a UK documentary.
And it is very aptly named My Massive Cock.
how classy could you imagine channel 10 putting on a doco at like 9 p.m called my massive cock
like at what time is this streaming on free to air i'd love to know you would never see it but
it's apparently and i read this because of the tweet it's on a network four or channel four or
something and they're like what won't channel four air in the uk so this obviously is a channel that
just throws anything under the bus but but like imagine that imagine flicking through stations
just sitting there eating your dinner flicking through stations and there's a documentary called
my massive cock that's on there are so many funny tweets about it but one was like let me tell you
guys this documentary is not about chickens i will just give you a spoiler it is not about
chickens so don't tune in if you think my massive cock is about living on a farm it's not how many
people do you think are out there that want to watch a documentary on massive chickens running
around probably loads but i think more people want to watch one on massive penises so it's a
documentary and we're having a laugh but it's pretty serious it is about these men that have
ridiculously large penises and i mean for want of a better word it's the dark side of having a
massive penis so it's like you know the downside of what happens if you have a really big manhood
apparently the average penis size in australia is 14.45 centimeters 14.45 yeah i'm gonna hold
my fingers up but i don't know i mean like we need a ruler you think that's average well that's
i mean i don't think it i don't know what i would i don't think i've done enough of sample size to
know what is average but one so keep that in mind 14.5 one man that was featured his name's joe he's
22 his penis is 24 centimeters long no that is huge and if you see the pictures like if you guys
google this almost having sex to the ruler yeah but the problem is too they're not just big one
of these poor guys it is like before i'm all big guys it's also the circumference so they can't use
them because they're too big so joe this poor 22 year old guy he actually lost a job because his
penis was so large and like this is gobsmacking to me it actually made me really sad he was in
well because he was extremely qualified for the position he's a great like i'm looking at him now
this is joe you guys can google him he's just joe he looks like a nice young i mean he's not a big
guy he's a very little guy he's very little guy not everywhere he has to wear special undies with
a pouch so he like a kangaroo so he has to tuck the penis in because otherwise the penis doesn't
fit in his undies i like you call it the penis like it's not even an extension it's not his
penis it's just the penis because it's so big it's got its own postcode well he went for this
job interview and this is why it's really heartbreaking because this is actually like
their penises are so large it's debilitating which is hard to think that that is possible
You could put your finger up.
You've got to ask something.
I was going to say too much of a good thing.
Yes, you can have too much of a good thing.
So he went for this job that he was overqualified for
and the employer mistook the bulge in his pants for a big giant erection.
So the interviewer was watching him the whole time thinking he was just
so horny about getting this job that he had an erection
the whole job interview.
And the response from the interviewer was,
you're not going to get this job.
we thought you were a good candidate but we thought there was inappropriate behavior happening
so he said they thought i had an erection throughout the whole interview and they were
very much like your attire wasn't right basically they're like we can see your dick you've got an
erection you're a pervert which i just think is really like imagine the discrimination imagine
losing out i've just never heard of it losing out to a job because your penis is too large the job
wasn't porn but also look at it from the other perspective if you were an employer and you were
interviewing someone and you thought they had an erection the whole time that you were interviewing
them you would not employ them like of course that that's the terrible byproduct of what this
man experiences but like at the same time I don't sit here going like how could the employer do that
I think every single person who is in that position who's interviewing someone thinking
that they've got a raging boner during the interview would say probably a bit inappropriate
what's going on here totally well other guys in the show like other ones that have also 24 inch
penises inch centimeter get your back to that far out that's a weapon it's from the other side of
the bedroom you just have to stand up you go check the letterbox and we'll get you from the
letterbox a lot of them it's they're like I don't even want to go out anymore because people just
stare at their penis the whole time and like this is not funny but a lot of men are saying you know
I just feel objectified by women they make jokes about it they talk about it they only like me
because of it so they find it hard to date they've gone to look at surgery for reduction it is a wild
documentary do you know what I find this really interesting because I do think that there is a
weird double standard for how we talk about men's penises versus women's vulvas right I agree and I
think you know as much as we're sitting here and we're giggling about the documentary as such I'm
not giggling at any one person or the situation that they're in because I think that that's truly
fucking terrible to have any why I said I have empathy totally and to have any part of your body
that is causing you to feel outcast in society is something that I think is a what a horrible
thing to experience. But I think when it comes to men and the way we speak about male genitalia
versus vulvas, I think it's very interesting. Like if a guy was to ever say like, or to like
comment on a tight, tiny little vagina, we kind of are a bit like, oh, that's so gross. Like,
yeah, we hate it when men speak about vulvas in a way that objectifies them in any, whether it
be positively objectifying or negatively objectifying, you know, whether there's a
comment that, you know, that someone's labias are too long, whatever it is, we don't like it.
But yeah, I think that there is an acceptance, especially within like, you know, female friendship
groups to talk about small dicks, massive dicks.
You know, I wouldn't date a guy with a skinny penis or a little penis.
Like, I think that we do put a lot of emphasis around male genitalia and we also make that
okay.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
Look, my massive cock was trending.
A hashtag was trending.
A lot of people have watched it.
I think at the start, when it first was released, 700,000 people had watched it.
If it interests you, go and have a look.
But I think we are 100% giggling at the idea that this is a documentary.
We are not giggling at these poor people.
It's really hard for a lot of these people to have a sexual relationship.
Obviously, you can have a relationship, but, you know, they've said it's something that
they've almost, you know, like when you're on a date and you talk about what you want
and what you are, that some of them are like, they were like, oh, do I have to tell you?
I feel like I need to tell them straight away.
Like, imagine having a penis that big that you're like, I need to tell you because this
is like going to be an issue.
It must be very, very difficult.
Also, like women would think it's a flex.
like people yeah like sure if you're at dinner with someone and they were like hey just letting
you know my penis is so big that most people can't even take it you'd be like fuck off mate
you'd be like challenging but you'd also want to see it right I'd be like fuck I need I don't even
like that much but I need to see it all right you know with that out of the way I'm so glad that we
saved that and came full circle to talk about it with you all let's get into answering all your
deep dark and burning questions we have some real doozies and I'm gonna kick it off with one
that Britt and I kind of, when we read this, we were like, how on earth do we answer this one?
Hi ladies, I'd love to get your thoughts on this. One of my husband's female friends has come to
him to ask if he would be the business manager for her OnlyFans. She has wanted to do OnlyFans
for ages, but is really terrible with anything business related. He obviously mentioned this to
me and we had a chat about it. How would it work, et cetera? He has left the final decision up to me
as he doesn't want to do anything that I'm uncomfortable with.
Good man.
My initial reaction was a no.
So should I just go with my gut with this
or should I trust him that it's fine for him to manage her OnlyFans?
Okay, well, I'm going to assume her OnlyFans isn't a cooking show
because we all know you can have anything on OnlyFans.
You don't, it doesn't, our natural thought is OnlyFans is always sexy.
It's nudity, but it's not always.
You can have anything on OnlyFans.
I don't think that's the situation here
because I don't think she'd be feeling uncomfortable.
So we're going to assume that she means sexually explicit content on OnlyFans.
Is that where we're going?
Yes, queen.
Yes, queen.
Okay.
My initial response is no, I'm not letting my husband do that.
Unless you are an OnlyFans manager, generally speaking, and that's your job,
and then someone else has just said, hey, can you also manage mine?
I think it's a pretty weird thing to go to a married man or someone in a relationship
that's just fucking manages the chicken shop down the road
because he's put a business like he's very good at like checking the letterbox and paying parking
fines and you're like you'll be great at managing my only fan yeah frank i've seen you run that
chicken shop you've done it really well why is everybody frank with you it's just gonna happen
now i don't think that this is a fit and i think if it's not necessary and it's not natural i
probably wouldn't want my partner to go and manage some other woman's only fans because it means
essentially they're going to be looking at that content all the time they're going to give feedback
on the content they're going to be advising what to do because that's what a manager does unless
they're literally just saying bring my cash in like going to my emails and make sure the cash
is coming in that might be different if he doesn't have to go in and look at the intricacies of what
the content is I agree with you I think it's like for example if he's an accountant and this woman's
like hey can you manage the accounts for my only fans no problem because there's no need for him
to look at the content like I have an accountant I don't even think he knows what I do like I don't
he's got any clue what my actual job is he just looks at the figures and puts it in you know
tells me how much money I gotta give to the tax man which is way too much so I think if it's that
side of things it's fine but if it is actually that she wants someone to manage her like as in
you know to give feedback to like help with curating content to because that's what a manager
does to bring in more sales you know bring in more subscribers like you know to truly like build her
profile then I think firstly it's very amazing that your partner had the conversation with you
and was like I'm gonna leave the ball in your court because I want to make sure that you're
completely uncomfortable you're looking at me like I'm saying puns which I wasn't meant to
no I was gonna say I don't think that's amazing I think that should be like a standard thing in
a relationship totally but I guess when I say it's amazing what I mean by that is that it should be a
standard thing but we know it's not from all the questions that you guys ask us we know that like
having it's going down general decency and consideration for your partner is not the
standard norm in all relationships so the fact that he has been asked the question considered
it and said I think that this could be received poorly by my partner I'm gonna check with her and
let her make up the final decision on this I do think that that has some merit but I guess
ultimately when I first read this question I was like oh I think it's fine and then I put myself
in the shoes and I was like how would I feel if some woman who I didn't really have a connection
with asked Matt to manage her OnlyFans yeah at the start Laura was like it's okay and she's like
what do you think and I was like no she just started laughing I would be weirded out by it
I would feel like it's an unnecessary thing unless you guys are in a financial bind unless it's
something that he's passionate about, wants to move into this industry. If it's just something
to do because he's been asked and it makes you feel in any way uncomfortable, which you've
obviously said it does, and you want to trust your gut instincts. And I say, don't put yourself
into a situation that's going to make you feel resentful or where you feel cornered into it.
I think be honest, explain that maybe it's not the right fit for you and just go on your merry
fucking way. Well, the thing is here too. And the thing is, it is about your gut instinct. That is
where this comes from. Like for me personally, I'd be uncomfortable, but there's a lot of people
that this is fine. You could be so stable in your relationship. You guys could have the most
beautiful relationship, trusting, honest, strong, and it might not bother a lot of people at all
to be looking at other women's OnlyFans. No, but what I want to jump in with that is you could have
the most stable, trusting, loving relationship, and it still might not be fine. It comes down
to your values. But what I'm trying to say is there are plenty of people out there where this
is okay. If you want your partner to go and earn some more money, because you know, OnlyFans can
bring in a big income right so if you're managing that you're taking 20 percent whatever it is
you're taking that can be a lot of extra money so if you are in a situation where something like
this happened and you it doesn't bother you at all to have your partner involved in that
go crazy the reason we're saying you know this isn't for you and go with your gut is because
your gut has said no and it means that if you say yes to it you will be uncomfortable because
you're uncomfortable now whatever it is there's something inside of you that's like this doesn't
sit right with me. You're going to think about it for a long time. You're probably going to end up
subscribing to her OnlyFans because you want to see what's going down. And I think you'll get
resentful. That's the big one. Like I think when you do things that aren't aligned with like what
feels right to you and you feel like, you know, you feel like you're just doing it to make the
other person happy, you start to get resentful. And that's a really bad emotion in a relationship.
We are big on going with your gut here. Every time I have ignored my gut instinct,
every single time, it hasn't ended well. And every time I do go with my gut instinct,
it goes well so i think that like it is so intuitive so you do need to listen to that
let's go on to question number two question number two is to do with the ick and i think this is quite
a good one my partner has given me the ick in his workplace there seems to be a trend the workers
below him are leaving within months and i feel as though he is just too tough on them he left the
house at 7 40 swearing about a worker saying i should just sack this c-u-n-t but i overheard
the conversation i feel as though my partner is overreacting to the situation at hand moreover
my partner has a boss himself and at moments he has overstepped his superior am i wrong to have
the gut feeling telling me i don't want to be with him long term if this is the way that he treats
others i find him overtly rude to others and it doesn't sit right with me on another note my
partner has no time or patience for his mom is this an orange or red flag okay for me
this is a huge red what I mean like we know sometimes I'm colorblind but this is a huge
red flag my I've always said one of my biggest turnoffs is when example on a first date when
somebody doesn't treat the wait staff well or they're rude to like a patron or another customer
or whatever. That to me, I would walk out if someone was rude to somebody like that. If I
saw my partner literally abusing people that I genuinely thought was unnecessary, swearing at
them like the C word. I don't think he swore at them. He swore off the phone. Like he had a phone
call with them. They hung up and then he was like, oh, I should fire that. But she has,
the thing is here, she has said it is not right. Like the punishment here doesn't equal the crime.
which I think is a really big thing he's overreacting making people feel shit and
abusing people all the time and having these conversations firing people people quitting
because they're so uncomfortable around him for me that's a really big turnoff so that is definitely
whether you have to have a conversation with him or whether you've literally it's too far gone
you've got the ick but I think that is a pretty justifiable flag like I don't think that you're
overreacting by saying is it okay to be turned off by this yes I think it's very okay to watch
how you human you have chosen treats other humans in a way that you don't agree with for me that is
something you have to live with every single day it's a big part of who somebody is I think you
can tell a lot about a person with how they treat other people how they treat animals I just threw
the animals in there because I'm a dog lover I don't think you caught any animals to see you in
no but that's I definitely judge someone on how they treat other people and animals and if I look
at that and I think that they're treating someone unnecessarily it's up to you what you do with that
though I don't know if you can just have a conversation and be like yo do you think you're
overreacting or maybe the ick is already settled deep deep inside of you and you can't get rid of
it like a parasite in your liver I mean we all know that it is hard to get rid of once it's in
there once it's happened but okay I agree with everything that you've said but I really do but
I want to play devil's advocate a little bit in this situation I don't condone being rude or being
nasty to anybody you know I think that there's definitely people who are very toxic in a workplace
and they're impossible to work with my only consideration to this is I think people just
assume that everybody is good at being in a managerial role. Some people are truly terrible
managers. They can't manage people. They are very good at doing the job, but then when they get into
a position of managerial, they just flail around and don't actually know what is needed in order
to support their staff. They need our friend from OnlyFans. They need a manager. But no,
it's not everybody is a good manager. They just truly aren't. And I think that when you are not
a good manager, but you're put in the position of managing people and managing teams, it can bring
out the worst side of you and so I wonder is he under an unusual amount of stress at work is he
failing and therefore the pressure of that he's taking it out on his team which there's no excuse
for that but I think maybe before you just decide to like you know rip the relationship apart and
move away from it because of the way he's treating people have a conversation with him more so around
like is he struggling is he not in an industry that he enjoys does he not feel fulfilled in his
workplace. I think there's more parts of this that you can actually try and get to better understand
before you just make the assumption that he's a shitty and bad person. Because if this behavior
isn't consistent with how he treats his friends, for example, then I think that that is also a bit
of a flag there. The question about his mum and him not getting along with his mum, I don't think
that that's necessarily an orange or red flag. There are a lot of people who don't get along
with their parents or who have complicated relationships with their parents because of
many things that have happened in their childhood and so I think unless you know that his mum is a
great person that there's nothing there like there's nothing wrong there's no issue he just
has no tolerance for her then that's a very different situation I think lacking tolerance
and lacking respect towards someone then that's the orange and red flag yeah I mean like and maybe
we will disagree a little bit on this one Laura which is totally fine the only thing I disagree
with you on is for me it's not a re even if he is stressed he's not in the job that he likes he
has trouble every day with it because he's unhappy I couldn't care less that's not an excuse for me
for how you treat other people it's just not something that I want to align myself with I
I don't care about the level of stress he has that doesn't give you a right to take it out
on other people and that is it's a personal opinion but I'm very very big on how people
speak and treat to people I agree with that but I think like that's too much of a perfect picture
I think like to say that when someone's stressed or anxious or feeling like all the overwhelming
feelings that they should still be on their best behavior to everyone else in a perfect world yes
but we know that that's just not the case. And does that mean that that person is a fucking
undateable, unlovable person? I don't know if I agree with that. I just think it's maybe in
this instance, getting to the root cause of it. And if there is no root cause of it, if that's
just how he is, if he lacks patience and tolerance, then that's when I would say 100% get out of that
because that's only going to be turned inward in your relationship once the honeymoon phase and
the excitement of you being a new thing fades away. Well, you've also said, I find him overly
rude to others guess what you can do is I mean the ick you've got the ick you've said that you
said this starts with my partner has given me the ick and no one wants to date someone who's just
rude that's terrible I think what you can do here is say to him give him the benefit of the doubt
like Laurie just said because he's your partner we have spoken about the ick in the past it can
be reversed not often not easily not easily but it can I've never had the ick reverse ever once
the ick is there for me it's like settled in what you can do is say to him you overheard his
conversation you said i i definitely feel like he was overreacting i don't feel like again the
punishment and crime matched have that conversation with him just say do you think you're overreacting
in that conversation i heard what your conversation with bill on the phone do you think you're
overreacting because you've given him time then it's been a day a week two weeks whatever you
give me time to think about it and calm down so if he still then says nice blah beep beep beep beep
i wasn't overreacting he's a dickhead and you still strongly disagree with that well there's
your answer you're not going to reverse the ick this is what he is this is who he is that's fine
for him but that doesn't mean it has to be okay with you you 100% have to have morals in alignment
or this will happen for the rest of existence also I think like as much as I'm trying to play
devil's advocate just to look at it from both sides I think it is very telling somebody who
uses language like calling one of their employees a c-u-n-t it's I mean that's pretty bloody gross
like there's no denying that that's a pretty disgusting way of behaving I was on a date last
week I told you guys about it I didn't tell you about it but I said I went on a date and we had
a conversation you you you specifically said that you wouldn't tell us about it because it was a
great date and you don't want him to be like outed yeah and then to never show up again I was
seeing him tomorrow night not if we tell everyone he's gonna run for the hills no but one thing that
I thought was really great in that we had a conversation about deal breakers which he brought
up he was very emotionally mature I loved it he brought up deal breakers and one of my deal
breakers I literally said was an excessive amount of swearing but particularly the c word so for me
people that drop the c word and it's just personal I know I know a lot of people out there say it
like it's a throwaway comment and they say it to their mates and that's fine but for me it makes
my skin crawl it makes me feel physically unwell if my partner was dropping that word in front of
other people in my family I couldn't do it I could not have them I would it's a deal breaker so it's
funny that this has come up now that particular word because I put it in a date deal breaker this
week. I don't have a particular, I mean, you guys are all well aware of this. I don't have
like a particular problem with the F word. No, I mean, that's okay. I think it's fine. Also,
if you listen to our Tuesday episode, I'm very sorry. And holy hell, Britain, I swore a lot on
that episode. You did too. You were swearing like an absolute sailor. We were just having the best
time when we were just like laughing. Fuck, fuck, fuck. But no, when it comes, I think there
are some words, I mean, for some people, the F word is definitely a word that's like too crass
that they don't like it. And that's fine. And I think for some people, the limit sits further
along for me the same thing I won't say the word again c-u-n-t like gross absolutely gross I can't
like there's no part of me that would ever deem that okay and also I don't move in circles with
people who use that casually either well I was dating a guy a couple months ago and he was an
English guy and he said it all the time very and he never said in England though well that's the
thing he said I brought it up with him and I said hey I just I really hate that word and he throws
around left right and center but you can tell the the way they throw it around with their friends
that it didn't have any malice to it it was like oh I'm going down to the news agency
that was a bit Irish but like the way that he did it and we had a conversation I said
I don't like this because I wouldn't have been able to keep dating him and he and you didn't
and we didn't that was wild I don't know his co-workers listen to this so I'm not going to
say too much more but he we had a pretty good conversation about it he said he explained that
he said oh I'm sorry I'll stop saying it if you like but just so you know in England this is
really normal it doesn't really mean what it means for you guys like it's just a fun banter
and you have to I guess have a level of acceptance right we've grown up differently so the word
doesn't mean the same thing there but I still I still couldn't have and don't and I'm not dating
him you missed it when you're away filming the challenge which comes out very soon oh my god
guys next Monday night you guys need to tune in next Monday night next Monday night on the 14th
okay that's not next Monday night this is coming out this Thursday and next Monday night is not
the 14th. Cause that's after my wedding. Okay. Brittany is very bad at knowing what day of the
week it is this week on this episode. I have no idea where I am, who I am. So what you're saying
is like the following Monday night. So Monday the 14th, please, I'm going to need your, all of your
support. That's all I'm going to say. After my wedding, Brittany is going to be on TV running
around doing the challenge. Yeah. You're going to come here for, oh, you might be on your honeymoon,
but I'm like, come here for the premiere night. Okay. Okay. All right. I reckon we've answered
that as best we can now question number three which is the last question my partner idolizes
his father but i see a different side his father has split with my partner's mom and has since
become sleazy while also being bitter in general to all women oh that's attractive cute love that
this includes my opinions don't matter he will hit on me when he is drunk which is often yuck
take all my very clear jokes personally as an insult raises his voice at me bad mouths his
ex-wife in front of me calls women fat etc you get the picture he's also a dead set bogan
i have tried talking to my partner about this and he says you just need to get to know him more
so i have and these trends are persistent am i wrong to second guess my relationship with my
partner purely based on my potential father-in-law. She's literally questioning her entire relationship
because of how much of a dick his dad is. So that's big. Look, I mean, there's a few factors
for this. I think it depends on the frequency of which you spend time with the father-in-law. Like,
is he living at home? Do you have to see him every day? Do you see him once every six months? Like,
I think frequency is a very, very big part of this conversation. Let's assume, I'm going to
make a number let's assume you see him every second weekend I reckon it's once a week okay
let's go once a week the difficult thing is is that like a lot of people idolize their parents
right like even if their parents have problematic things or viewpoints or whatever a lot of people
can brush past that and see past that because they obviously have such a strong and long-standing
connection with their parents it's their parents so it's probably very hard for him to take on
criticism from his dad also when his dad has just gone through a divorce your partner is probably
giving a lot of allowances for his dad and for the behavior because he can probably say oh well
you know like dad's been going through a hard time so just go easy on him you'll get to know him it'll
be better so I guess like I wouldn't necessarily be throwing away my entire relationship just
because I don't like my father-in-law I don't think that someone's parents have to be an
indication of who that person is like I think personally I'm very very different to my parents
I mean there's parts of me that I think are similar but like ultimately I think I'm quite
a different person so I don't think that you have to be the carbon copy of your parents but I guess
like the big part of this is is if your partner emulates the misogynistic and problematic traits
that your father-in-law has or if you think that that's something that you identify in him then
that for me is where I would be having a bigger issue like I don't think so much that my issue
would be with the father-in-law because I think I could separate the two but my issue would be like
does my partner behave like him is my partner going to turn into him is that the issue I 100%
agree the issue here is I mean you don't have to go to family events if you don't want to in the
future you can remove yourself if you guys just clash it's if you guys are clashing it's going
to be obvious to everyone else you're clashing it's going to be obvious to your partner that
you're clashing my issue here is is he giving too much leeway to his dad and if he thinks what his
dad is doing is okay so is he saying oh look I know he does this he's like he's a rough diamond
and I know he calls people fat, but he's joking. It's okay. Does he not agree with it, but lets it
slide or does he think it's okay? Because if he thinks that his dad's behavior is okay from what
you've said, because his behavior absolutely is not okay, then there's a problem. If you have told
your partner that his dad hits on you all the time. Which is gross, like unbelievably gross.
Yeah. All the time when he's drinking and drunk and your partner is okay with that, then there's,
I think there's fundamentally something wrong with the relationship, with the relationship
with the son and dad and with the relationship with you and your partner.
But do you think that maybe the, your partner thinks like, no, he's not like he's, that's
just what he's like.
Like dad's not hitting on you.
Like, do you think it's more that your partner thinks that you're interpreting the way that
his dad is incorrectly?
Well, the thing is that's irrelevant.
What he's interpreting is irrelevant to what you're feeling.
If you have said, if you have said to your partner, I think your dad is hitting on me.
I feel very uncomfortable and this happens all the time and your partner still is like it's cool
it's fine it's just how he is that's the problem you have said I'm extremely uncomfortable in this
situation like no parent should be hitting on their kid's partner but I guess like my only
thing is is that it's probably hard for him to believe it like for example imagine if you were
dating someone and they said hey bro I think your mom is hitting on me you would be like my mom's
just being nice to you well firstly you'd be like as if totally so I think he's in denial at this
point in time because it would be unfathomable I think to most people to think that their parent
was hitting on their partner yeah I just went deep then in my head could you imagine could you
imagine could you imagine if like for example yeah exactly that you brought home old like English guy
who says couldn't all the time and you're he thinks your mom's hitting on him it would never
I mean my mom's a milf my mom would never do that but I don't know for me a really big red flag in
relationship is if like if you've told your partner how uncomfortable you feel about something
and nothing is done about it especially something that is like sexual in nature that for me I'm like
okay there's only so many times you can say I don't want to be in this situation anymore it's
very uncomfortable someone very close to you is making me extremely uncomfortable if they ignore
that I think that's a red flag I've definitely dated someone in the past whose parent I didn't
get along with in terms of like I didn't feel comfortable around them right I found that some
of their behavior was like inappropriate and I didn't like I didn't enjoy the interactions and
I guess the thing that was very different about my situation is that when I voiced that to my partner
my partner got it they absolutely got it because they also had a bit of a complicated relationship
with their parents so the fact that they could see the issues meant that that for me was no longer an
issue because I was like okay well we are united in the feelings that we have and obviously we
still would go and spend time with their parents but like it was very much understood between us
that we both kind of knew how the other person felt I think in this instance the one thing that's
really important is that you don't feel validated that's what this comes back to like not comfortable
and not validated yeah not only do you feel not validated but you feel like your partner's
gaslighting you that you're either making it up and it's all in your head or that you're making
a big deal out of something that it's not and I think that is the reason why this is becoming
such a ultimatum for you where you're like well can I stay in this relationship or not
and I think it is problematic especially if your partner's dad is saying really misogynistic things
things that make you feel uncomfortable making sexual advances towards you whatever it is
if your partner is not validating the way that you feel that's the bigger issue in this do you
remember we had this just makes me laugh actually not this but the thought makes me laugh we had an
accidentally unfiltered probably a year ago now it was this accidentally unfiltered where this girl
had been having this like really amazing sex and this great relationship with this older guy and
she'd been talking to her friends about it she'd be like this guy's making me calm no guy makes
me come like this like he's incredible obviously a like you know this experience but it was like
a real daddy thing like he was old enough to be her dad yeah he was he was a lot older than her
and like age gaps are completely fine here the reason this is funny is she'd been talking this
guy up and how good he's in bed to her friends for ages and then she's over at his house and
She's going to Bangtown and his daughter had come home
and the daughter had heard them having this amazing sex ride
and then the girl walked out after the sex and looked at her friend
who she'd been telling how good this man was at sex.
It was her dad and he didn't even know.
So she'd been banging her friend's dad and telling her friend
how good he was without knowing it was her dad.
It's like you can't write this shit.
It's literally the most unbelievable story that I feel like people
listening to this will not believe that it's true,
but I wish it was not true.
No, I love that it's true.
It is so true.
It gives us so much.
But anyway, guys, that is it from us.
Another Ask Uncut done and dusted.
Brittany doesn't know what day of the week it is,
so it could be Tuesday, it could be Monday.
No, it's irrelevant.
If you're listening to this when it drops, it's Thursday.
I know that much.
I want to ask one more time, if you haven't,
if you didn't pause the episode earlier on and you have the time now,
please go jump onto our show notes, hit the podcast awards
and please go vote for us in the Listener Choice Award.
It really means so much to us.
Do you know, maybe we should put it in our Instagram bio so it's easier as well.
We're really going hard, aren't we?
It's once a year.
Again, I really want to reiterate, guys, it's all I got.
It's been a tough year for me.
Anyway, please, you know the drill.
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends
and share the love because we love love.
We'll see you next time.
